1 00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:10,428 Previously on Weeds. 2 00:00:10,552 --> 00:00:11,724 The fuck? 3 00:00:11,887 --> 00:00:13,434 What's the matter with you, man? Are you on drugs? 4 00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:15,983 My parents have been drugging me since I was 13. 5 00:00:16,058 --> 00:00:17,526 Just give me my plants, man. 6 00:00:17,601 --> 00:00:19,979 Do you have plans tonight? 7 00:00:20,062 --> 00:00:22,030 Are you asking me out while your hand is on my boob? 8 00:00:22,105 --> 00:00:23,823 If you can catch me, you can fuck me. 9 00:00:23,899 --> 00:00:24,900 Yeah, I'll get my skates. 10 00:00:24,983 --> 00:00:26,985 I was having sex with this woman at the derby rink. 11 00:00:28,195 --> 00:00:29,697 You broke up with me. 12 00:00:29,780 --> 00:00:32,033 - Is this real life? - No. You're dreaming. 13 00:00:32,115 --> 00:00:33,367 Now, go harder. 14 00:00:33,450 --> 00:00:34,872 What the fuck? 15 00:00:34,952 --> 00:00:36,078 I guess we're even. 16 00:00:36,161 --> 00:00:37,834 Please go back to screwing Andy. 17 00:00:37,913 --> 00:00:38,914 We have no money. 18 00:00:38,997 --> 00:00:41,045 Doug's cash is all tied up in that fake charity, 19 00:00:41,124 --> 00:00:43,377 and you and Andy don't make dick. 20 00:00:43,460 --> 00:00:44,928 - We're really broke? - Yes. 21 00:00:45,003 --> 00:00:49,179 Maybe it's the bullet? I don't know, this just isn't me anymore. 22 00:00:49,258 --> 00:00:51,056 I'm gonna need you to buy me out. 23 00:00:51,134 --> 00:00:52,977 I can't keep making the same choices. 24 00:01:55,574 --> 00:01:59,920 Something that keeps me busy, maybe with flexible hours. 25 00:01:59,995 --> 00:02:01,087 I have a young son. 26 00:02:01,496 --> 00:02:04,045 But I'm open. I want to work. 27 00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:07,006 You really can't see a mark. 28 00:02:07,836 --> 00:02:08,837 Sorry? 29 00:02:09,004 --> 00:02:11,928 Oh, where you got shot. I just expected something bigger. 30 00:02:12,007 --> 00:02:14,476 I mean not, like, a huge, gaping hole, but I don't know. 31 00:02:14,551 --> 00:02:17,179 A dent, a spider crack. 32 00:02:17,262 --> 00:02:20,857 Oh, my secretary found that article about you in the Old Sandwich Press. 33 00:02:20,932 --> 00:02:24,687 You know, we pre-screen everyone who makes an appointment, so... 34 00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:27,781 I need a job, Mr. Burks. 35 00:02:28,190 --> 00:02:33,196 Listen, we're a high-level executive search firm, 36 00:02:33,278 --> 00:02:37,749 - so we deal with CEOs, CFOs, COOs... - You took this appointment. 37 00:02:37,866 --> 00:02:41,587 Okay. Full disclosure. The article was a doozy. 38 00:02:41,703 --> 00:02:43,501 I mean, I was curious. 39 00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:46,667 It was a mistake. I'm sorry. Mea culpa. 40 00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:52,723 Then make it right. I've worked with CEOs, CFOs. 41 00:02:52,798 --> 00:02:57,144 I've led my own sales team, marketing, re-branding. 42 00:02:57,219 --> 00:02:58,766 I've... 43 00:03:00,722 --> 00:03:03,271 Just tell me who to talk to. Just point me in the right direction. 44 00:03:04,851 --> 00:03:10,233 Shake the trees, put yourself out there and keep your head down. 45 00:03:18,365 --> 00:03:19,742 How long you been standing here? 46 00:03:19,950 --> 00:03:22,328 You always hum Hava nagila when you jerk off? 47 00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:31,132 You can't make me feel any guiltier about screwing Doug. 48 00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:32,713 It was weeks ago. 49 00:03:32,796 --> 00:03:36,266 And if you think it was bad for you, imagine what it was like for me. 50 00:03:37,092 --> 00:03:38,594 I'm pregnant. 51 00:03:45,100 --> 00:03:47,603 Well, I wish you both the best. 52 00:03:47,686 --> 00:03:49,438 I'm sure you and Doug will have a great baby 53 00:03:49,521 --> 00:03:50,898 and a great life together. 54 00:03:50,981 --> 00:03:53,234 Now I'm gonna go lay under a blanket. 55 00:03:53,316 --> 00:03:54,693 It's not Doug's. 56 00:03:56,361 --> 00:03:57,408 Andy? 57 00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:00,040 You're sweating. 58 00:04:00,115 --> 00:04:03,460 There's a very real lack of air flow in this hallway. 59 00:04:03,535 --> 00:04:07,039 There's, like, nothing coming out of these vents. Nothing. 60 00:04:07,122 --> 00:04:08,465 That's a return. 61 00:04:09,666 --> 00:04:12,840 - Well, you've got it all figured out. - I've got nothing figured out. 62 00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:16,469 And when I said it wasn't Doug's, that's just a guess, a hope, really. 63 00:04:17,007 --> 00:04:21,103 But I'm almost for sure pregnant. 64 00:04:22,220 --> 00:04:24,222 At least it feels that way. 65 00:04:25,015 --> 00:04:26,358 Mazel tov? 66 00:04:58,298 --> 00:05:00,642 Got to love organized chaos. 67 00:05:01,510 --> 00:05:05,811 Yeah. They're like molecules all bouncing around. 68 00:05:06,264 --> 00:05:09,063 Or tripping themselves, in the case of my son. 69 00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:10,610 Shake it off, champ! 70 00:05:11,353 --> 00:05:15,608 - Maybe there was a sprinkler head? - If only. But thank you. 71 00:05:16,274 --> 00:05:18,618 - I'm Terry. - Nancy. 72 00:05:21,112 --> 00:05:24,662 - Gonna have to make a citizen's arrest. - Excuse me? 73 00:05:25,784 --> 00:05:29,084 The hand-off? You should have hid it in the magazine. 74 00:05:29,788 --> 00:05:31,506 That's what that looked like? 75 00:05:31,581 --> 00:05:33,504 - Oh, boy. - Oh, no. Relax. 76 00:05:33,583 --> 00:05:37,963 - It's none of my business. - No, no, no. It's... 77 00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:41,884 Frank's got a prostate the size of a VW. 78 00:05:41,967 --> 00:05:45,016 The guy next to him, Rog, he's got a fungus 79 00:05:45,095 --> 00:05:48,975 that I shouldn't speak about in mixed company, but it's not good. 80 00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:52,812 Prostiflo for Frank, Zycopril for Rog. 81 00:05:52,894 --> 00:05:56,114 - Oh, so it's Dr. Terry. - Not exactly. 82 00:06:02,237 --> 00:06:04,205 You're the biggest drug dealer in town. 83 00:06:04,948 --> 00:06:06,791 Yeah. Legal one, anyway. 84 00:06:08,285 --> 00:06:10,083 Care for a juice box? 85 00:06:10,787 --> 00:06:11,913 Thank you. 86 00:06:28,179 --> 00:06:30,773 - Jabberwocky! - 10.78 seconds. 87 00:06:31,766 --> 00:06:34,019 Oh, hey, Silas. Do you like sport stacking? 88 00:06:34,102 --> 00:06:35,524 What the fuck? 89 00:06:35,604 --> 00:06:37,857 Do you want to try a cycle? 90 00:06:37,939 --> 00:06:39,282 Want to try a cycle? 91 00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:41,868 I've been looking for you for three weeks. 92 00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:44,196 - I've been checking in on Foursquare. - Yeah, I got that. 93 00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:46,873 Now, nutballs, you stole my plants. 94 00:06:46,948 --> 00:06:48,666 And that's a total my bad. 95 00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:51,370 But the good news is, I'm back on my meds, so that won't happen again. 96 00:06:51,453 --> 00:06:52,545 Where are they? 97 00:06:52,621 --> 00:06:54,043 They're, like, locked in a cabinet somewhere. 98 00:06:54,122 --> 00:06:55,419 The nurse distributes them twice a day, so... 99 00:06:55,498 --> 00:06:57,546 - My plants. - Oh. 100 00:06:57,626 --> 00:07:01,301 They're in a closet at my parents' house. But they're fine. I left some lights on. 101 00:07:01,379 --> 00:07:04,053 Oh, you left a couple lights. Let's go. 102 00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:06,009 I'm still on psych hold. I can't go anywhere. 103 00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:08,470 Okay. Why don't you tell me where your parents live, 104 00:07:08,553 --> 00:07:09,600 and I'll go get them myself? 105 00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:12,398 No way. My parents freak if one of my drug friends shows up. 106 00:07:14,225 --> 00:07:15,647 I need my plants. 107 00:07:16,061 --> 00:07:19,190 I don't know what to tell you. I'm really sorry, Silas. I wasn't myself. 108 00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:23,368 I mean I was myself. I just wasn't my medicated self. 109 00:07:24,819 --> 00:07:26,446 Do you want to learn how to stack? 110 00:07:27,822 --> 00:07:29,324 Okay. Never mind. 111 00:07:31,660 --> 00:07:35,164 Spanked it. 95%. Statutes are my bitch. 112 00:07:35,330 --> 00:07:41,383 97%. Spanked it, spanked you. Might even spank myself. I'm so good. 113 00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:43,304 Want to show me that tonight? 114 00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:44,848 I can bring over some burgers. 115 00:07:44,923 --> 00:07:46,891 Maybe your cheap ass should take me out to dinner. 116 00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:48,344 Attention, everyone. 117 00:07:48,426 --> 00:07:52,056 Well, except for a couple of you that fell outside the bell curve, 118 00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:56,314 I imagine you're all looking at your grades with disappointment. 119 00:07:56,393 --> 00:08:00,864 You're wondering why you're so stupid. I don't know. It is unfortunate. 120 00:08:00,939 --> 00:08:04,944 So, to help you combat that, I want you to write an essay. 121 00:08:05,026 --> 00:08:09,532 Five hundred words due tomorrow morning "Why do I deserve to be a cop?" 122 00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:11,787 Yeah? 123 00:08:11,866 --> 00:08:15,916 Why you deserve to be a cop or I, like me? 124 00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:19,629 Whatever you think is best, Ronchetta. 125 00:08:19,708 --> 00:08:22,928 Now, I don't want to be here anymore. 126 00:08:28,425 --> 00:08:29,722 Bye, loser. 127 00:08:29,801 --> 00:08:33,476 Mets tickets down the drain. And it's Tejada bobblehead night. 128 00:08:33,555 --> 00:08:36,183 Man, I was gonna take my girl to B-Dubs. 129 00:08:36,266 --> 00:08:39,110 Something about eating hot wings just moves her juices. 130 00:08:41,146 --> 00:08:43,990 I'll write your essays. 100 bucks each. 131 00:08:45,483 --> 00:08:47,986 100 bucks? Fuck off, Botwin. 132 00:08:48,069 --> 00:08:51,118 I'm just trying to help, bobbleheads, juices. 133 00:08:53,575 --> 00:08:54,701 All right. 134 00:08:57,328 --> 00:09:01,128 Austin! Good! You won! Go out again, Ethan! 135 00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:04,260 They all hate me 'cause Stevie's so good. 136 00:09:05,628 --> 00:09:07,471 They hate me 'cause Kyle's so bad. 137 00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:11,639 That's why I give them the free samples, so they'll play him. 138 00:09:12,427 --> 00:09:15,681 He's a born scientist, like his dad. 139 00:09:15,764 --> 00:09:17,983 Yeah, well, we all have our talents. 140 00:09:18,516 --> 00:09:21,520 I used to be in the drug business, too. Sales. 141 00:09:21,603 --> 00:09:23,401 Oh. With whom? 142 00:09:24,439 --> 00:09:29,991 A small company. It's not around anymore, but I'm looking to get back into the field. 143 00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:32,539 Yeah? Did you do well there? 144 00:09:32,614 --> 00:09:34,332 Number one, year after year. 145 00:09:37,619 --> 00:09:39,121 Look at those guys. 146 00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:41,756 Look at that. They could be friends. 147 00:09:42,791 --> 00:09:48,594 Maybe. I also did marketing. Led this huge re-branding effort. 148 00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:53,552 Why don't they do a play-date thing? Like a sleepover or something? 149 00:09:53,635 --> 00:09:55,683 They should do a sleepover. 150 00:09:57,013 --> 00:09:59,141 They're not kittens. 151 00:09:59,224 --> 00:10:02,068 You can't just put them in a box and say, "Play." 152 00:10:02,393 --> 00:10:06,318 Why not? Please. Kyle needs a friend. 153 00:10:07,398 --> 00:10:10,026 My wife and I need Kyle to have a friend. 154 00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:13,114 We haven't had a night to ourselves in three years. 155 00:10:15,323 --> 00:10:17,917 You know that's what nannies and sitters are for. 156 00:10:19,828 --> 00:10:21,421 They all talk. 157 00:10:21,496 --> 00:10:23,624 It's like a secret little club. 158 00:10:23,915 --> 00:10:26,919 Once you get blacklisted, you're screwed. 159 00:10:27,001 --> 00:10:31,848 So he's got a few quirks. He's five. 160 00:10:33,007 --> 00:10:34,930 One sleepover, tonight. 161 00:10:35,009 --> 00:10:38,434 And I will call my colleague in sales, recommend he hire a new sales rep. 162 00:10:38,513 --> 00:10:41,062 Sales rep? Yeah? One sleepover? 163 00:10:42,183 --> 00:10:44,436 - Okay. - Yes. Yes. 164 00:10:44,519 --> 00:10:46,613 My wife, I'm gonna call her right now. 165 00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:49,532 I should hit the liquor store on the way home. 166 00:10:57,365 --> 00:10:58,912 Shit. 167 00:10:59,701 --> 00:11:02,295 All right. Enough of this faggy silent treatment. 168 00:11:02,370 --> 00:11:04,043 Let's get it out in the open. 169 00:11:04,122 --> 00:11:06,545 Yes, I fucked the shit out of Jill. 170 00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:09,047 That was probably not cool. 171 00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:10,633 She might be pregnant. 172 00:11:11,963 --> 00:11:15,217 - Well, that is definitely not cool. - You're definitely not cool. 173 00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:17,302 And what do you care? It's probably not yours. 174 00:11:17,385 --> 00:11:19,308 It could be mine. 175 00:11:19,387 --> 00:11:20,639 It could be mine. Shit. 176 00:11:20,722 --> 00:11:25,728 Shit, shit, shit, shit. 177 00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:29,690 Shit, shit, shit, shit. 178 00:11:29,772 --> 00:11:30,944 Shit. 179 00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:33,910 Want to play to see whose kid it is? 180 00:11:34,152 --> 00:11:37,531 That takes a crystal ball, Doug, not an eight ball. 181 00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:39,745 No, I mean for who takes it all on. 182 00:11:40,158 --> 00:11:42,832 Nice. Real nice. 183 00:11:45,455 --> 00:11:47,708 I suck at pool. Darts'? No. No dartboard. 184 00:11:47,790 --> 00:11:50,088 Fuck! We don't even know if she's pregnant yet. 185 00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,178 Yes, we do. 186 00:11:53,087 --> 00:11:57,263 So, does the winner get me and the kid or is that the loser? 187 00:11:58,343 --> 00:11:59,686 Assholes. 188 00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:06,351 I'll rack. 189 00:12:48,309 --> 00:12:50,311 Surprise! 190 00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:54,445 Who the fuck? 191 00:12:54,524 --> 00:12:56,993 Really, Suze? Does every occasion need a stripper? 192 00:12:57,318 --> 00:12:59,366 He was supposed to be a cop. 193 00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:04,413 It's a whole thing that we do. 194 00:13:04,492 --> 00:13:06,165 - Bring in a robber... - Less talking. 195 00:13:07,578 --> 00:13:10,081 - Surprise! - Shit, it's ruined. 196 00:13:10,164 --> 00:13:11,837 Happy birthday, Trace. 197 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,547 Start the music, guys. 198 00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:22,348 Lose the shirt. 199 00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:24,686 Lose the shirt! 200 00:13:26,848 --> 00:13:29,727 This is the best birthday ever! 201 00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:31,816 That castle sucks. 202 00:13:31,894 --> 00:13:34,022 This is where the king and queen live. 203 00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:37,151 My Allosaurus will eat them in a second. 204 00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:41,113 No, no. Play together, boys, or it's bedtime, all right? 205 00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:44,078 Fine. We can build the tower. 206 00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:47,787 And I'll get a bug and I'll put it on the tower and torture it. 207 00:13:47,869 --> 00:13:52,295 No. No torture. Happy kings and queens, okay? 208 00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:54,963 Plant-eating dinosaurs. 209 00:13:55,043 --> 00:13:57,091 Jesus, they're multiplying. 210 00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:00,973 That's Kyle. 211 00:14:01,049 --> 00:14:03,177 - He's a little shit. - Be grateful. 212 00:14:03,551 --> 00:14:05,645 Boys are little shits when it doesn't matter. 213 00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:07,347 Girls wait till they're older, 214 00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:12,482 till they can get piercings and STDs and call their mom a bag of cunts. 215 00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:15,530 On the bright side, I'm getting a job. 216 00:14:17,398 --> 00:14:18,945 It's a real banner-fucking-day. 217 00:14:20,568 --> 00:14:24,573 Allosaurus, crush castle! 218 00:14:25,239 --> 00:14:26,912 No, no, no! 219 00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:30,582 Oh, God. 220 00:14:31,579 --> 00:14:35,584 It's okay! It's okay! You're okay. Let me see. Let me see. Let me see. 221 00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:40,797 Oh, it's just a bump. It's just an itty-bitty, itty-bitty, little bump. 222 00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:44,555 He hit me. I'm calling my dad. 223 00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:49,438 We get a horse. 224 00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:51,148 - What? - A horse. 225 00:14:51,265 --> 00:14:53,233 We take her riding, make it look like an accident. 226 00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:56,609 You're not acci-borting my baby. 227 00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:59,240 Or mine. Nothing's proven yet. 228 00:15:00,441 --> 00:15:02,034 This is a weird office. 229 00:15:03,528 --> 00:15:05,371 That sitar was George Harrison's. 230 00:15:05,446 --> 00:15:07,073 It's amazing how much you can buy at an auction 231 00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:09,659 with a shitload of charity money. 232 00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:12,996 Not sure where that mattress came from. Pass the bottle. 233 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:20,546 Used up all my good karma. Damn you, derby sex goddess. 234 00:15:20,628 --> 00:15:23,507 It's my fault, really. I usually make a go for the poop chute. 235 00:15:23,589 --> 00:15:24,806 It was late. I didn't even try. 236 00:15:24,882 --> 00:15:26,475 Or is this good karma? 237 00:15:26,551 --> 00:15:29,145 Depends on me. Me. It was me. 238 00:15:29,220 --> 00:15:31,564 I'm too old to run out on another kid. 239 00:15:31,639 --> 00:15:37,817 Andy Botwin, glue of the Botwin family, uncle, brother, mentor. 240 00:15:38,813 --> 00:15:40,156 Father. 241 00:15:40,231 --> 00:15:42,529 Maybe this is another chance to do it right. 242 00:15:42,608 --> 00:15:48,081 - Raise a good kid. Not gay. - Father, father. Actual father. 243 00:15:48,156 --> 00:15:53,458 Birth through whatever, me and the kid. Ballgames and science projects. 244 00:15:53,536 --> 00:15:55,254 I should have come on her tits. 245 00:15:55,329 --> 00:16:01,632 Report cards and lectures and yelling for no real reason. 246 00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:06,342 Failed expectations. False expectations. Love? 247 00:16:06,424 --> 00:16:09,519 Oh, you'd never know it. I can't do it. Shit. 248 00:16:09,594 --> 00:16:11,096 Right this way. 249 00:16:13,181 --> 00:16:15,559 Hey. guys. What's going on? 250 00:16:16,517 --> 00:16:18,190 Unwanted pregnancy. 251 00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:20,525 You got a horse? 252 00:16:20,605 --> 00:16:22,403 I'm calling my daddy. 253 00:16:24,859 --> 00:16:29,786 What about those Japanese cards with the weird animals? 254 00:16:29,864 --> 00:16:31,787 Do you like those? I think we have some of those. 255 00:16:31,866 --> 00:16:34,619 Pokémon. I hate Pokémon. 256 00:16:34,702 --> 00:16:35,874 Okay- 257 00:16:35,953 --> 00:16:38,832 What about a book? No, a movie. 258 00:16:38,915 --> 00:16:40,588 You want to watch a movie? Let's watch a movie. 259 00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:44,045 I'm telling my dad, and he's going to hate you. 260 00:16:44,128 --> 00:16:45,801 Kyle. 261 00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:46,881 Hey! 262 00:16:46,964 --> 00:16:50,639 Sit down before I microwave your Allosaurus! 263 00:16:50,718 --> 00:16:51,935 Okay? 264 00:16:57,892 --> 00:17:03,490 You're into bugs and dinosaurs and not so into sports, 265 00:17:03,564 --> 00:17:07,239 so I'm thinking you're pretty smart, right? 266 00:17:07,652 --> 00:17:12,408 And inexplicably mature. Do you know what "mature" means? 267 00:17:13,115 --> 00:17:14,287 No? 268 00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:19,923 Grownup, able to handle things, like the truth, 269 00:17:20,831 --> 00:17:22,879 and getting hit with blocks. 270 00:17:23,084 --> 00:17:27,681 Lots of blocks are gonna come your way in life, Kyle. 271 00:17:27,755 --> 00:17:29,302 Lots. 272 00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:31,760 Especially if you go on acting like this. 273 00:17:31,842 --> 00:17:36,814 You're gonna grow up, and people are gonna hate you, 274 00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:39,358 really not like you at all. 275 00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:41,276 Forget girls. 276 00:17:41,686 --> 00:17:43,188 Forget friends. 277 00:17:44,522 --> 00:17:48,197 Sure, some might act like your friends, but really, 278 00:17:48,276 --> 00:17:53,282 they just want something from you, money, sex, drugs. 279 00:17:53,364 --> 00:17:57,369 You're an asshole, and it gets you to the top and guess what? 280 00:17:57,451 --> 00:18:01,297 There's nobody else there. So you double down and keep working. 281 00:18:01,372 --> 00:18:07,926 And before you know it, any family you had is long gone, too. 282 00:18:12,216 --> 00:18:13,388 But 283 00:18:15,636 --> 00:18:21,518 I'm thinking it's not too late for you to do things differently. 284 00:18:22,768 --> 00:18:25,738 Is this 'cause you got shot in the head? 285 00:18:29,233 --> 00:18:30,325 Hey. 286 00:18:31,277 --> 00:18:36,204 Kyle, you're gonna play with Shane for a while, okay? 287 00:18:39,827 --> 00:18:41,124 I owe you one. 288 00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:47,210 Silas? Silas? 289 00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:50,593 Oh, hi, Mom. Just doing a little cleaning up. 290 00:18:50,671 --> 00:18:54,266 I think I pimped out both your brothers tonight. 291 00:18:54,592 --> 00:18:57,766 Oh, well, if you're trying to go for the trifecta, sorry, 292 00:18:57,845 --> 00:18:59,518 'cause I already pimped myself out. 293 00:19:00,848 --> 00:19:03,567 You're drunk and dressed like a ninja. 294 00:19:04,685 --> 00:19:07,359 And what... Where are your plants? 295 00:19:08,773 --> 00:19:13,449 Oh, those? They got stolen weeks ago. But I had a plan. 296 00:19:13,527 --> 00:19:18,408 All I had to do was sneak into the house when nobody was home and get them back. 297 00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:22,462 Is it technically robbery if you're stealing stuff that's already yours? 298 00:19:22,536 --> 00:19:24,083 Whose home? 299 00:19:24,955 --> 00:19:29,711 You know, I don't even know their names. Well, I mean, there's Tracy, of course. 300 00:19:29,794 --> 00:19:34,174 She turned 50 today. But really, they're just strangers. 301 00:19:35,049 --> 00:19:38,644 Never did anything to me. I just let myself right in. 302 00:19:38,719 --> 00:19:44,271 Oh, but wait. I'm not a burglar. I'm a burglar stripper. 303 00:19:45,142 --> 00:19:49,898 Wow. Not a single piece of that made sense. When? What... 304 00:19:52,983 --> 00:19:55,736 You got freaking robbed, and you didn't say anything. 305 00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:05,580 I was handling it. 306 00:20:08,332 --> 00:20:10,426 God, we gotta stop doing this. 307 00:20:12,420 --> 00:20:13,763 No shit. 308 00:20:14,672 --> 00:20:15,844 But what? 309 00:20:15,923 --> 00:20:19,928 We just throw our jobs in the wood chipper and stare at each other all day? 310 00:20:23,931 --> 00:20:26,400 I'm trying, Silas. 311 00:20:27,268 --> 00:20:28,815 Well, good for you. 312 00:20:30,271 --> 00:20:33,115 And what do I do? What about my work? 313 00:20:33,190 --> 00:20:35,033 It just... it isn't worth it anymore. 314 00:20:35,109 --> 00:20:36,907 This is what I'm good at. 315 00:20:38,112 --> 00:20:40,490 - I mean, maybe not. I don't know anymore. - No, yes. 316 00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:46,296 The growing, yes. The growing. It's just the business par-t of it. 317 00:20:47,121 --> 00:20:49,874 Maybe not your forte. 318 00:20:51,417 --> 00:20:53,636 I'm gonna make coffee. Please come inside. 319 00:20:57,506 --> 00:20:59,383 I'm gonna finish cleaning up here. 320 00:20:59,467 --> 00:21:03,188 I think I can get some seeds on consignment, start a new cycle. 321 00:21:03,637 --> 00:21:06,811 I mean, that or practice my dance moves. I'm very hot. 322 00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:10,652 Just ask Tracy and her friends. 323 00:21:10,728 --> 00:21:12,901 Go, stripper. Go, stripper. 324 00:21:12,980 --> 00:21:15,904 Go, stripper. Go, stripper. Go, stripper. 325 00:21:15,983 --> 00:21:20,363 Go, stripper. Go, stripper. Go, stripper. Go, stripper. 326 00:21:22,531 --> 00:21:25,330 - Security! Move! - No, I'm protesting! 327 00:21:25,409 --> 00:21:27,582 - Tear gas! - I'm the 99%! 328 00:21:27,661 --> 00:21:29,959 - 1%!1%! - I'm 99%! 329 00:21:30,831 --> 00:21:34,256 Get a job!Get a job!1%!1%! 330 00:21:34,543 --> 00:21:37,968 1%.1%.1%,1%,1%! 331 00:21:38,047 --> 00:21:41,096 Get a job!Get a job!1%,1%! 332 00:21:54,438 --> 00:21:55,655 All right. 333 00:22:12,540 --> 00:22:14,008 You wanted to see me? 334 00:22:17,378 --> 00:22:18,971 Great essay, Botwin. 335 00:22:19,046 --> 00:22:22,721 - Thanks. I guess the topic just... - Great essay, Botwin. 336 00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:26,930 Great essay, Botwin. I sound like a damn broken record. 337 00:22:28,889 --> 00:22:31,483 How much did Ronchetta and Bondi pay you? 338 00:22:31,934 --> 00:22:33,402 I don't know what you're talking about, sir. 339 00:22:34,436 --> 00:22:36,530 And I thought you were a smart one. 340 00:22:37,064 --> 00:22:40,910 Fork it over, and I'll see fit to forget all about this. 341 00:22:41,485 --> 00:22:43,158 Can't we work something out? 342 00:22:43,237 --> 00:22:46,081 I mean, this isn't the last assignment you're gonna give, is it'? 343 00:22:50,411 --> 00:22:53,085 Well, you're gonna do just fine in the NYPD, aren't you? 344 00:22:57,084 --> 00:23:00,054 Nancy! Come on in. 345 00:23:00,129 --> 00:23:02,177 Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. 346 00:23:02,256 --> 00:23:03,599 Thank you, thank you, thank you. 347 00:23:03,674 --> 00:23:06,723 Last night was amazing. It was like a dam breaking. 348 00:23:06,802 --> 00:23:09,976 - I'd forgotten Amy could even... - Oh, that's great. 349 00:23:10,097 --> 00:23:11,940 You know, we had a great time, too. 350 00:23:12,349 --> 00:23:16,104 Hey, Kyle has this bruise. 351 00:23:18,772 --> 00:23:22,777 - Well, we were playing Twister and... - The kid is a klutz. 352 00:23:26,405 --> 00:23:31,081 - You were gonna make a call for me. - Yes, yes. Already made. 353 00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:33,538 You're all set up. I said you're a perfect fit. 354 00:23:33,621 --> 00:23:36,340 Sociable, attractive, motivated, good with assholes. 355 00:23:36,415 --> 00:23:38,133 Am I right? 356 00:23:38,208 --> 00:23:39,801 On all counts. 357 00:23:42,504 --> 00:23:45,804 So, this is what your company makes. 358 00:23:47,134 --> 00:23:50,809 Complete SJ family, head to toe and everything in between. 359 00:23:51,847 --> 00:23:53,849 - Adia? - Asthma. 360 00:23:53,933 --> 00:23:55,401 - Brialta? - Arthritis. 361 00:23:55,476 --> 00:23:56,853 - Celimax? - Heart. 362 00:23:56,936 --> 00:23:58,734 - Celitrex. - Heart. 363 00:23:58,812 --> 00:24:00,029 - Diotrex. - Bowels. 364 00:24:00,105 --> 00:24:01,197 - Flopene. - Gas. 365 00:24:01,273 --> 00:24:02,650 - Helipram. - Asthma. 366 00:24:02,733 --> 00:24:04,155 - Livatera. - Cholesterol. 367 00:24:04,234 --> 00:24:05,235 - Livatrope. - Cholesterol. 368 00:24:05,319 --> 00:24:06,821 - Livapro. - Cholesterol. 369 00:24:07,655 --> 00:24:11,455 Something for everything. And Maritor. 370 00:24:12,409 --> 00:24:15,003 Maritor's an underperformer. 371 00:24:15,955 --> 00:24:17,423 Frankly, a dud. 372 00:24:17,998 --> 00:24:21,127 - Really? - it's synthetic pot. Like drinking near-beer. 373 00:24:21,210 --> 00:24:23,178 - The marijuana pill. - Yes. 374 00:24:23,253 --> 00:24:25,756 But when Washington flips the switch and it's legal, 375 00:24:25,839 --> 00:24:26,931 my department's gonna be ready. 376 00:24:27,007 --> 00:24:31,433 We've got a whole raft of new products we're working on with real THC. 377 00:24:31,512 --> 00:24:32,809 Very NG. 378 00:24:33,681 --> 00:24:35,524 - NG? - Next generation. 379 00:24:36,141 --> 00:24:38,985 We're gonna kill it. Through the roof. 380 00:24:42,564 --> 00:24:47,866 What's up, King Andy? Ready to hold court? Why, yes, I am. I decree it so. 381 00:24:48,028 --> 00:24:51,703 Decree me a flagon of mead and a wench. 382 00:24:51,991 --> 00:24:53,709 This is my castle, bitches... 383 00:24:54,660 --> 00:24:59,917 What's up? I'm just helping Stevie out here. Stevie'? That kid is so quick. 384 00:25:00,916 --> 00:25:02,293 I have to go to the doctor. 385 00:25:02,376 --> 00:25:04,879 I can see you're in the middle of something very important here, 386 00:25:04,962 --> 00:25:06,589 so I'll let you know how it turns out. 387 00:25:08,257 --> 00:25:10,305 Let's do this. Let's have a baby. 388 00:25:10,384 --> 00:25:11,681 What if it's Doug's? 389 00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:13,808 Doesn't matter. A little bit. 390 00:25:15,472 --> 00:25:17,145 Cross that moat later. 391 00:25:17,766 --> 00:25:20,736 The point is I'm ready. Let's go. 392 00:25:21,270 --> 00:25:22,863 "I'm ready. Let's go?" 393 00:25:24,189 --> 00:25:28,660 What? Should I cross my arms and wink and wiggle my nose 394 00:25:28,736 --> 00:25:31,615 and then, boom, nine months later, "Do you have the stirrups ready?" 395 00:25:31,697 --> 00:25:32,869 Shush, shush! 396 00:25:32,948 --> 00:25:34,666 I did some thinking. I did some soul-searching. 397 00:25:34,742 --> 00:25:36,119 Thank you, Kentucky. 398 00:25:36,243 --> 00:25:38,792 You've perfected bourbon, if nothing else. Okay. 399 00:25:40,914 --> 00:25:45,420 It's been easy, relatively speaking, being "Uncle Andy," "Brother Andy," 400 00:25:45,502 --> 00:25:47,129 "Amazing-lover Andy." 401 00:25:47,838 --> 00:25:50,933 "Father Andy," horse of a different color. 402 00:25:51,008 --> 00:25:53,557 Scary, not just 'cause it sounds like I joined the priesthood. 403 00:25:53,635 --> 00:25:56,434 Why did it scare me? 'Cause I've been thinking of it all wrong. 404 00:25:57,014 --> 00:26:00,018 "Father Andy" is not Andy's father. 405 00:26:01,602 --> 00:26:03,696 See? Andy's father being Lenny, 406 00:26:03,771 --> 00:26:06,240 with all his bullshit, spiteful Yiddish epithets. 407 00:26:06,315 --> 00:26:08,409 You think he ever built a castle with me? 408 00:26:09,276 --> 00:26:12,405 These things are awesome. There's drawbridges and horses and shit. 409 00:26:12,488 --> 00:26:14,536 We should also get the king's battle chariot set. 410 00:26:14,615 --> 00:26:16,333 Anyway, I can... 411 00:26:16,408 --> 00:26:20,709 No, I want to do these things with him. Lee Marvin Botwin. 412 00:26:21,830 --> 00:26:24,003 Or her. Lynda Carter Botwin. 413 00:26:24,083 --> 00:26:26,051 Too soon for that? I'm flexible. 414 00:26:26,126 --> 00:26:28,549 We'll call him Little Ziggy Stardust for now. 415 00:26:28,629 --> 00:26:31,382 Placeholder, unless you like that one. 416 00:26:35,302 --> 00:26:37,270 Do you know how much these sets cost? 417 00:26:37,429 --> 00:26:42,731 Well, we could get, like, China knockoffs, although that's a total Lenny move. 418 00:26:46,897 --> 00:26:48,149 Get a job. 419 00:26:52,152 --> 00:26:53,654 Or I could do that. 420 00:26:56,448 --> 00:26:59,998 We developed Prazilax right here, this very building. 421 00:27:00,077 --> 00:27:02,921 I don't have to tell you what that did for the enzyme world. 422 00:27:02,996 --> 00:27:05,294 You'll have access to this whole wing if you're hired. 423 00:27:05,374 --> 00:27:06,967 Gotta show me you got the goods. 424 00:27:07,042 --> 00:27:10,091 Can't justify two new hires on sleepovers alone. 425 00:27:10,170 --> 00:27:11,672 Won't be a problem. 426 00:27:12,673 --> 00:27:14,892 Sleepovers? Plural? 427 00:27:15,008 --> 00:27:17,602 Amy went shopping at the Pleasure Palace yesterday. 428 00:27:17,678 --> 00:27:19,305 Holy shit. 429 00:27:19,388 --> 00:27:22,016 I'm getting a company car, right? 430 00:27:22,099 --> 00:27:24,318 Everyone gets their toys.