1 00:00:06,706 --> 00:00:08,401 Previously on Weeds. 2 00:00:08,508 --> 00:00:10,032 - Nancy. - Mr. Schiff. 3 00:00:10,143 --> 00:00:11,667 The math teacher she boned in high school. 4 00:00:11,778 --> 00:00:14,576 All right, killer. I hate to break the news to you, man, but I gotta take off. 5 00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:17,081 I'm gonna grab my passport and be back hopefully by tomorrow. 6 00:00:17,183 --> 00:00:18,946 Do not leave for Copenhagen without me. 7 00:00:19,052 --> 00:00:20,349 So, do we have our passports? 8 00:00:21,388 --> 00:00:25,916 Listen to me. If you want your passports, you will kill that douchebag and fast. 9 00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:27,015 Mr. Mahmud. 10 00:00:27,127 --> 00:00:28,788 I sent you guys to him for passports. 11 00:00:28,895 --> 00:00:30,055 Turns out he hates you, 12 00:00:30,163 --> 00:00:33,064 and would rather do anything than let you marry his daughter, 13 00:00:33,166 --> 00:00:34,929 which includes having you killed. 14 00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:37,401 - What's this Lars guy look like? - He looked like you. 15 00:00:37,604 --> 00:00:40,334 So there's a tiny resemblance. But he's not my dad. 16 00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:42,135 - We'll let the lab decide. - Lab? 17 00:00:42,409 --> 00:00:43,501 DNA, my brother. 18 00:00:44,677 --> 00:00:45,644 Who are you? 19 00:00:45,745 --> 00:00:47,940 Journalist. San Diego County Tribune. 20 00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:50,346 I'm writing your story. I can help you. 21 00:00:50,450 --> 00:00:52,213 Clark Kent to my rescue. 22 00:00:52,318 --> 00:00:54,013 Are you telling me, after all's said and done, 23 00:00:54,421 --> 00:00:56,252 you don't want your story on the record? 24 00:00:56,523 --> 00:00:58,252 My name is Nancy Botwin. 25 00:01:08,868 --> 00:01:12,031 Judah used to like to dress me up. 26 00:01:14,607 --> 00:01:15,972 Loan me out. 27 00:01:17,243 --> 00:01:22,408 We would lock eyes while I was being used by whoever. 28 00:01:23,416 --> 00:01:27,318 His best friend, my son's third grade teacher, 29 00:01:27,420 --> 00:01:31,015 the manager at Panda Express. 30 00:01:31,124 --> 00:01:34,457 I've never told anyone that we swung. Swang. 31 00:01:34,561 --> 00:01:37,052 That we were swingers. 32 00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:44,393 You know what, our safe word was Fran Tarkenton. 33 00:01:46,773 --> 00:01:47,797 What are you doing? 34 00:01:47,907 --> 00:01:50,000 Let me know when you're done entertaining yourself 35 00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:51,771 so we can actually start the interview. 36 00:01:51,878 --> 00:01:54,073 Well, we talked about having a threesome. 37 00:01:54,180 --> 00:01:55,909 Maybe I should just make everything up. 38 00:01:56,649 --> 00:01:58,640 Probably be as accurate as what you're giving me. 39 00:01:58,751 --> 00:02:00,582 What is it you want to hear? 40 00:02:00,687 --> 00:02:02,848 So I can get paid and never see your face again. 41 00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:04,253 Something significant. 42 00:02:04,390 --> 00:02:07,154 Something I couldn't learn from my other interviews. 43 00:02:10,530 --> 00:02:12,725 I burnt my house down. 44 00:02:12,832 --> 00:02:16,199 In Agrestic? You set the wildfire? 45 00:02:16,469 --> 00:02:18,562 No. Just my house. 46 00:02:19,339 --> 00:02:21,034 But why? 47 00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:24,907 To destroy the scene of the crime, I guess. 48 00:02:25,311 --> 00:02:29,907 In all fairness, pre-fab piece of shit probably would've burned down anyway. 49 00:02:33,319 --> 00:02:38,848 Well, that is significant but my story's not really about Agrestic. 50 00:02:38,958 --> 00:02:41,358 Jesus. Then why ask me questions about it? 51 00:02:41,461 --> 00:02:43,725 I haven't asked my questions yet. You just started talking. 52 00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:47,061 Fine. Then go. Ask me a question already. 53 00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:49,692 Okay. Who killed Pilar Zuazo? 54 00:03:14,627 --> 00:03:16,094 Nothing's changed. 55 00:03:17,564 --> 00:03:18,758 Get the fuck out of my house! 56 00:03:18,865 --> 00:03:21,163 You get the fuck out of my house! 57 00:03:23,236 --> 00:03:24,703 Doug? 58 00:03:25,238 --> 00:03:26,330 Dana. 59 00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:28,629 Your tits get bigger? 60 00:03:29,442 --> 00:03:31,000 I'll go put on some coffee. 61 00:03:32,679 --> 00:03:35,113 Your butler is an asshole. 62 00:03:36,482 --> 00:03:38,382 - Where are the kids? - Jessie's here. 63 00:03:38,484 --> 00:03:42,250 Julie and Jennifer are at sleep-away camp. Josh lives in Chicago now. 64 00:03:42,355 --> 00:03:43,788 What are you doing here? 65 00:03:44,557 --> 00:03:45,819 I've come to make amends. 66 00:03:46,359 --> 00:03:48,486 I really fucked up, and I want to apologize, 67 00:03:48,695 --> 00:03:50,060 so we can both move on. 68 00:03:50,463 --> 00:03:51,521 Is this for real? 69 00:03:51,631 --> 00:03:54,327 Yes, yes. I'm a changed man. God touched me. 70 00:03:54,434 --> 00:03:55,867 Spiritually, not... 71 00:03:55,969 --> 00:03:56,993 Daddy! 72 00:03:57,203 --> 00:03:58,170 Baby. 73 00:04:04,978 --> 00:04:06,707 Why is she calling the butler "daddy"? 74 00:04:07,180 --> 00:04:10,775 Doug, this is Wilfred, my husband. 75 00:04:25,198 --> 00:04:27,928 Shit! You killed him. 76 00:04:28,668 --> 00:04:29,726 That was the idea. 77 00:04:29,969 --> 00:04:32,597 It's one thing to wish it, it's another to see it. 78 00:04:32,705 --> 00:04:34,900 What did you do with the body? I don't want to know. 79 00:04:35,008 --> 00:04:36,236 Yes, I do. No, I don't. 80 00:04:36,476 --> 00:04:38,307 We buried him somewhere very safe. 81 00:04:38,411 --> 00:04:39,810 That is good. Yes? 82 00:04:40,179 --> 00:04:41,203 - Yeah. - Buried. 83 00:04:42,315 --> 00:04:45,182 Returned to the soil. To give life anew. 84 00:04:46,085 --> 00:04:47,814 Or is cremation better? 85 00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:50,320 I don't know. I don't really think about death that much. 86 00:04:50,423 --> 00:04:53,290 How can you not think about death? It is everything. 87 00:04:53,393 --> 00:04:55,384 It is the ticking clock that drives man. 88 00:04:55,495 --> 00:04:57,019 Death and sex. 89 00:04:57,130 --> 00:05:00,327 That and the natural and righteous hatred for Shia scum. 90 00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:02,463 So, I'll just take the passports. 91 00:05:03,770 --> 00:05:06,796 No, my friend. This video is not enough. 92 00:05:07,473 --> 00:05:09,100 I built my career on being thorough. 93 00:05:09,676 --> 00:05:12,509 Bring me his dick. Then you get the passports. 94 00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:22,744 We heard about your city contract for giving a loving send-off to unclaimed indigents. 95 00:05:23,222 --> 00:05:26,214 What do you guys need? Kidney, lungs, heart? 96 00:05:27,627 --> 00:05:29,117 We need a dick. 97 00:05:31,397 --> 00:05:32,830 John Does are the bottom row. 98 00:05:37,603 --> 00:05:41,664 My FBI contact told me that a Mexican gangster recently turned up 99 00:05:41,774 --> 00:05:44,675 at a hospital in Washington State with an arrow wound. 100 00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:46,205 Why are they after you? 101 00:05:55,888 --> 00:05:57,287 What is it? 102 00:05:57,390 --> 00:05:59,790 My son is not coming home tonight. 103 00:06:00,460 --> 00:06:04,089 I think he found a girl. He always finds a girl. 104 00:06:04,263 --> 00:06:05,230 Shane? 105 00:06:05,865 --> 00:06:09,995 Shut up. You don't get to say... Either of my kid's names. 106 00:06:10,703 --> 00:06:11,863 Why'd you leave Esteban? 107 00:06:12,405 --> 00:06:13,736 He was gay. 108 00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:17,104 Took a lover. Armando. 109 00:06:17,310 --> 00:06:19,835 Why are you running? What do you know? 110 00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:22,480 What do you know? Why don't you just tell me everything you know. 111 00:06:22,582 --> 00:06:24,345 Well, I know you've made some questionable decisions. 112 00:06:24,584 --> 00:06:28,577 Like getting married to a player in the most powerful drug cartel in Mexico. 113 00:06:29,689 --> 00:06:31,452 I know that his boss hated you, 114 00:06:31,557 --> 00:06:34,219 and I know on the night she died, you abruptly split town. 115 00:06:34,327 --> 00:06:35,624 Is that all? 116 00:06:35,728 --> 00:06:39,391 Well, that and I have a pretty strong theory as to why you're running. 117 00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:42,400 Can't wait to hear this. What's your big theory? 118 00:06:42,702 --> 00:06:44,602 That Shane killed Pilar Zuazo. 119 00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:47,467 Nancy? 120 00:06:48,107 --> 00:06:49,802 Blink once if I'm right. 121 00:06:56,616 --> 00:06:58,311 Yo, this one. 122 00:07:01,788 --> 00:07:04,256 Skin tone's close enough. All right. 123 00:07:08,060 --> 00:07:11,086 Poor guy. Fell off a roof trying to rob a liquor store. 124 00:07:11,464 --> 00:07:14,228 So, this is what it all comes down to? 125 00:07:15,601 --> 00:07:19,162 Born into a bad situation, yearning, hopeful. 126 00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:24,972 A life of struggle. The streets tempt, but for a while, life wills out. 127 00:07:25,978 --> 00:07:30,347 Triumph for the spirit and then the bottle calls. 128 00:07:31,017 --> 00:07:33,485 And you end up breaking your neck trying to get a little liquid comfort. 129 00:07:33,986 --> 00:07:38,548 Let's pause a minute to pay respect to this anonymous... 130 00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:42,391 God! 131 00:07:48,201 --> 00:07:49,190 Enjoy that cock. 132 00:07:55,608 --> 00:07:57,599 So, you talk to your mom? 133 00:08:00,246 --> 00:08:02,009 When you need her, you can't find her. 134 00:08:02,114 --> 00:08:04,048 Yeah, she always was hard to pin down. 135 00:08:04,851 --> 00:08:06,648 Except that one time. 136 00:08:08,421 --> 00:08:09,547 Bad joke. Sorry. 137 00:08:10,656 --> 00:08:13,284 Well, we're gonna be leaving the country soon. 138 00:08:14,827 --> 00:08:17,159 Really? That sucks. 139 00:08:19,665 --> 00:08:20,893 You okay? 140 00:08:22,401 --> 00:08:23,390 No. 141 00:08:27,006 --> 00:08:31,306 In a lifetime of things fucking with me, this is really fucking with me. 142 00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:35,481 My whole childhood is a lie. 143 00:08:38,718 --> 00:08:40,345 Wrong dad? 144 00:08:44,724 --> 00:08:47,488 Look, if you're really leaving, we should hang out. 145 00:08:47,593 --> 00:08:49,754 Get to know each other in case it's true. 146 00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:52,687 Well, we'll know in a day or so. 147 00:08:54,500 --> 00:08:59,904 Shane stole your brush and took it to the lab for a paternity test. 148 00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:03,270 So tomorrow I'll be a father, or not. 149 00:09:05,845 --> 00:09:07,870 Fuck it. Before we know, 150 00:09:08,281 --> 00:09:09,839 let's go do something fun. 151 00:09:14,854 --> 00:09:16,845 One scratch and you're out of the will. 152 00:09:26,065 --> 00:09:27,555 Great cake, Wilfred. 153 00:09:27,667 --> 00:09:29,225 Thank you, Doug. 154 00:09:30,369 --> 00:09:32,030 Wilfred's a fantastic cook. 155 00:09:32,305 --> 00:09:33,897 Hobbies are very important for the retired. 156 00:09:34,006 --> 00:09:37,271 Wilfred isn't retired. He's an architect. 157 00:09:37,376 --> 00:09:38,673 He's designing the new symphony hall. 158 00:09:39,445 --> 00:09:40,776 You're welcome to use the guest bed, Doug. 159 00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:42,848 I imagine you must be tired after your flight. 160 00:09:43,115 --> 00:09:45,515 No, thanks. Not the slightest bit tired. 161 00:09:46,485 --> 00:09:49,977 Yeah, you know, life on the road, it's not for everybody, Wilfred. 162 00:09:50,089 --> 00:09:52,751 But you know, a man's got to drop out every once in a while. 163 00:09:52,858 --> 00:09:55,019 Commune with this great country. Tramp about. 164 00:09:55,127 --> 00:09:57,925 Yeah. Doug used to carry a copy of On the Road in his pocket. 165 00:09:58,264 --> 00:10:00,528 That book got me sex all the time. 166 00:10:02,301 --> 00:10:04,166 Jack would have loved that. 167 00:10:05,237 --> 00:10:06,534 Wilfred knew Jack Kerouac. 168 00:10:07,206 --> 00:10:09,606 A bit. He used to come to this club where I play. 169 00:10:09,875 --> 00:10:11,502 Yeah, Wilfred's also a jazz pianist. 170 00:10:15,181 --> 00:10:17,115 I'll get you some water. 171 00:10:18,551 --> 00:10:19,779 It must be hard, Doug, 172 00:10:19,885 --> 00:10:23,719 seeing Dana settled while you're still reestablishing yourself. 173 00:10:24,056 --> 00:10:26,991 But everyone has their own life trajectory. 174 00:10:27,093 --> 00:10:29,391 Not too many years ago, I was completely lost. 175 00:10:29,695 --> 00:10:30,855 You were? 176 00:10:30,963 --> 00:10:34,558 Yes, adrift at sea, feeling like I was never gonna reach land. 177 00:10:35,001 --> 00:10:38,493 That's exactly how I feel. I've been at sea a long time now. 178 00:10:38,671 --> 00:10:44,439 No. I meant I was actually lost at sea. My friend Sidney and I... Sidney Poitier. 179 00:10:44,844 --> 00:10:49,008 We'd taken his boat to Cuba for relief work, and we got caught in a late summer squall. 180 00:10:49,181 --> 00:10:52,344 But we made it and so will you. 181 00:10:56,989 --> 00:10:59,253 I think I will go lie down now. 182 00:11:00,793 --> 00:11:03,318 - You don't know anything. - I know my instincts. 183 00:11:03,429 --> 00:11:04,555 You ever heard of word clouds? 184 00:11:05,264 --> 00:11:07,255 I input transcriptions of my interviews 185 00:11:07,566 --> 00:11:11,195 to generate visual representations of words, subjects used. 186 00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:14,701 Top five adjectives used to describe you, for example. 187 00:11:15,307 --> 00:11:20,973 Manipulative, sexy, tough, reckless, bitch. 188 00:11:21,914 --> 00:11:23,040 Bitch is a noun. 189 00:11:23,315 --> 00:11:25,510 Top five adjectives used to describe Shane. 190 00:11:25,618 --> 00:11:30,317 Creepy, weird, scary, gloomy, violent. 191 00:11:30,723 --> 00:11:34,181 You're talking to me about word clouds! 192 00:11:34,293 --> 00:11:36,921 Yeah, he's gloomy. He's a teenager. 193 00:11:37,096 --> 00:11:39,496 Silas is a teenager. You want to hear his word cloud? 194 00:11:39,732 --> 00:11:41,927 I want to get the fuck out of here. 195 00:11:42,134 --> 00:11:43,863 I'm writing this article with or without you, Nancy, 196 00:11:43,969 --> 00:11:46,164 so fill in the blanks or I'm gonna do it myself. 197 00:11:46,605 --> 00:11:50,063 Here's your story. "Things happened to her, she dealt with them." 198 00:11:50,643 --> 00:11:55,876 You keep speaking in the passive tense, but you know, we do things. 199 00:11:56,415 --> 00:11:59,578 You walked down the tunnel. You, with your legs. 200 00:11:59,685 --> 00:12:02,654 What else was I supposed to do, not walk down it? 201 00:12:02,755 --> 00:12:05,349 Well, yeah. Knowing whose it was, most people go back to 202 00:12:05,458 --> 00:12:07,483 folding sundresses and leave it all under the floor. 203 00:12:08,060 --> 00:12:10,688 Look, either you're more forthcoming or I'm not giving you your money. 204 00:12:12,832 --> 00:12:15,062 - Why'd you run? - It's complicated. 205 00:12:15,167 --> 00:12:16,327 I can't... 206 00:12:17,470 --> 00:12:20,098 I can't write, "It's complicated." 207 00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:24,105 Sure you can. What'd you write on your divorce papers? 208 00:12:25,211 --> 00:12:26,439 What makes you think I'm divorced? 209 00:12:26,679 --> 00:12:29,614 There's a picture of a kid in your wallet, but no wife. 210 00:12:29,715 --> 00:12:31,808 Divorced or she's really ugly. 211 00:12:33,519 --> 00:12:35,885 We grew apart because I was always gone. 212 00:12:36,155 --> 00:12:37,588 See, it's complicated. 213 00:12:37,690 --> 00:12:40,887 We grew apart because she fell in love with a gastrointestinal robot surgeon 214 00:12:40,993 --> 00:12:42,051 while I was always gone. 215 00:12:42,161 --> 00:12:45,653 She's sleeping with someone else. Not that complicated. 216 00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:46,754 Why'd you run? 217 00:12:54,907 --> 00:12:57,569 There was this guy I used to know. 218 00:12:58,077 --> 00:12:59,101 Guillermo. 219 00:12:59,211 --> 00:13:01,111 - Garcia Gomez? - Yeah. 220 00:13:02,982 --> 00:13:05,712 - He and I... - You slept with Guillermo. 221 00:13:06,118 --> 00:13:09,417 That night, Pilar escorted me out of the party. 222 00:13:09,755 --> 00:13:11,279 Guillermo was there and she... 223 00:13:11,390 --> 00:13:13,017 This is Mexicali. 224 00:13:13,125 --> 00:13:16,117 Those are members of the Arellano-Felix family. 225 00:13:16,228 --> 00:13:17,889 This is the night of the party. 226 00:13:19,732 --> 00:13:21,632 Guillermo was in Mexico. 227 00:13:24,970 --> 00:13:28,906 Stop it. Stop it! It's all backed-up offsite. 228 00:13:29,208 --> 00:13:30,232 Deal's off. 229 00:13:32,077 --> 00:13:34,272 Who does this? 230 00:13:34,380 --> 00:13:38,646 I'm glad I didn't go to high school with you. Spoiled cunt like you. 231 00:13:38,751 --> 00:13:40,719 Wouldn't even get a cup of coffee with me? 232 00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:43,880 You know what, I don't have to deal with bitches like you anymore. 233 00:13:43,989 --> 00:13:44,978 I'm an adult now. 234 00:13:49,895 --> 00:13:52,295 I don't need you anymore. I'll write whatever I want. Leave. 235 00:13:52,398 --> 00:13:54,628 No, no. The deal's back on. I need the money. 236 00:13:55,434 --> 00:13:57,925 Deal's off. Go. Get out. 237 00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:02,235 Fucking bitch. God! 238 00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:05,773 You got to take me with you. I got money. 239 00:14:05,878 --> 00:14:07,539 We're getting money. Hooman here owes my mom. 240 00:14:07,646 --> 00:14:10,581 Sorry, bro. I can't sell any Leg-Spreader while I'm hiding out here. 241 00:14:11,417 --> 00:14:12,543 How much do you have? 242 00:14:13,485 --> 00:14:14,975 Let me show you. 243 00:14:16,422 --> 00:14:19,016 And kids tip over my carts. 244 00:14:19,124 --> 00:14:23,220 And once, once I get a Christmas gift from one of my customers. 245 00:14:23,329 --> 00:14:24,796 - And you know what it was? - Poop? 246 00:14:24,897 --> 00:14:27,127 Poop. Poop. Poop! 247 00:14:28,334 --> 00:14:31,826 So, sometimes I just bring the mail home. 248 00:14:35,241 --> 00:14:37,869 You have to be the worst mailman ever. 249 00:14:38,310 --> 00:14:43,407 Yep. I'm really not very good. 250 00:14:44,383 --> 00:14:46,248 I have passports. 251 00:14:47,353 --> 00:14:48,445 Show me. 252 00:14:54,760 --> 00:14:55,886 That is not his. 253 00:14:56,629 --> 00:14:58,119 No. Of course it's his. 254 00:14:58,397 --> 00:15:02,060 That dick is a magic marker. Hooman has a crayon. 255 00:15:03,235 --> 00:15:04,862 I took him to the baths. 256 00:15:05,404 --> 00:15:07,895 That rude asshole never even took off his Bluetooth. 257 00:15:08,007 --> 00:15:09,975 No, no, you're not accounting for edema. 258 00:15:10,075 --> 00:15:12,908 It's floating in liquid, so it expanded. Edema. 259 00:15:13,245 --> 00:15:18,547 I asked you to kill one worthless idiot. And you try to deceive me? 260 00:15:19,184 --> 00:15:20,776 Go before I cut off your penis. 261 00:15:21,353 --> 00:15:25,016 We had a deal. Jaka-cock for passports. I help up my end. 262 00:15:25,324 --> 00:15:26,916 Daoud Mahmud, what did you do? 263 00:15:27,026 --> 00:15:29,358 I was just looking out for your best interest. 264 00:15:29,461 --> 00:15:31,827 He wasn't good enough for you. Honey? 265 00:15:35,501 --> 00:15:37,560 You are dead to me! 266 00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:41,338 My daughter! Princess! 267 00:15:45,177 --> 00:15:48,044 My husband would hire a discount hitman. 268 00:15:48,147 --> 00:15:50,206 Even the Jews think that man is cheap. 269 00:15:51,550 --> 00:15:54,576 - That's a good line. Offensive, but... - Shut up. 270 00:15:54,687 --> 00:15:58,123 You deceived him. But I will give you the passports. 271 00:15:58,457 --> 00:16:00,118 Wow. Thanks. Thank you. 272 00:16:00,659 --> 00:16:03,822 And I will only charge you $5,000. 273 00:16:04,129 --> 00:16:07,724 I've been on the waiting list for a Birkin bag forever. 274 00:16:07,833 --> 00:16:09,425 And my name just came up. 275 00:16:16,408 --> 00:16:20,538 How did you end up at Dearborn? I thought Arabs hated cold weather. 276 00:16:21,313 --> 00:16:23,281 And why do you deserve to be here more than I do? 277 00:16:23,382 --> 00:16:25,179 Simple math. 278 00:16:25,284 --> 00:16:29,243 You people didn't get here till the '70s. My people have been here forever. 279 00:16:29,355 --> 00:16:32,984 Really? What are you, an Ottawa, Anishnabe, or Potawatomi? 280 00:16:33,359 --> 00:16:35,691 Don't give me that Indian crap. 281 00:16:35,794 --> 00:16:38,592 Have you been to the Soaring Eagle Casino lately? 282 00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:41,558 I went last month to see Jeff Dunham. 283 00:16:42,201 --> 00:16:45,136 The tickets alone cost 55 bucks. 284 00:16:45,371 --> 00:16:49,307 Add to that the room, the little buffet, a little craps. 285 00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:54,169 The real trail of tears is me going back and forth to the ATM all night. 286 00:16:55,047 --> 00:16:56,036 You wanna join? 287 00:16:56,482 --> 00:16:58,780 We're stealing Christmas card money from the past. 288 00:16:58,884 --> 00:17:01,409 No, thanks. Where's Mom? 289 00:17:01,787 --> 00:17:03,550 - She's not here. - Here. 290 00:17:04,256 --> 00:17:05,689 I said I don't want to open anything. 291 00:17:05,791 --> 00:17:08,123 It's your paternity results. Picked them up today. 292 00:17:13,365 --> 00:17:15,265 Yo, this one's addressed to me. 293 00:17:18,470 --> 00:17:20,165 I got into college? 294 00:17:25,244 --> 00:17:26,677 Can I come back in? 295 00:17:28,213 --> 00:17:29,475 Fuck off! 296 00:17:36,121 --> 00:17:38,089 Sorry about your camera. 297 00:17:39,024 --> 00:17:40,491 Filmed my son's birth with it. 298 00:17:40,592 --> 00:17:43,356 - You wait to publish. - I know. 299 00:17:43,462 --> 00:17:44,724 You don't say where we're going. 300 00:17:44,963 --> 00:17:47,295 - I don't know where you're going. - Good. 301 00:17:48,534 --> 00:17:49,694 What's my name gonna be? 302 00:17:50,302 --> 00:17:51,701 What do you want your name to be? 303 00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:54,429 Celia Hodes. 304 00:17:57,976 --> 00:17:59,500 What? What is it? 305 00:18:04,450 --> 00:18:05,974 They'll find you. 306 00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:07,776 I don't think so. 307 00:18:07,886 --> 00:18:10,354 Pilar just doesn't disappear and no one has to answer. 308 00:18:10,522 --> 00:18:14,583 She's a legitimate businesswoman. Someone has to answer. 309 00:18:15,060 --> 00:18:17,255 Yeah, well, then we'll keep running. 310 00:18:17,362 --> 00:18:21,025 It's an open murder investigation. And not just the cops. FBI. 311 00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:24,792 Them. And if I'm coming to that conclusion... 312 00:18:26,472 --> 00:18:28,201 Shane. 313 00:18:28,307 --> 00:18:29,797 ...then others will, too. 314 00:18:37,983 --> 00:18:39,746 Can I have my money? 315 00:18:41,820 --> 00:18:46,917 Paying for interviews. Out of pocket. My entire advance gone. 316 00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:50,055 God, this is depressing. 317 00:18:51,930 --> 00:18:54,330 Fran Tarkenton. Where'd you pull that from? 318 00:18:55,100 --> 00:18:58,558 Well, yeah, Judah loved him. 319 00:18:58,670 --> 00:19:02,037 He had his signed rookie card between two pieces of glass. 320 00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:06,608 Said we were gonna buy our retirement house in Hawaii with it. 321 00:19:06,712 --> 00:19:11,740 I checked online not so long ago. It's worth, like, $700. 322 00:19:12,751 --> 00:19:16,414 Ridiculous. I mean, can you imagine? I hate the sun. 323 00:19:16,522 --> 00:19:18,786 Judah was so... 324 00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:26,324 Anyway, I really am sorry about your camera. That was mean. 325 00:19:30,035 --> 00:19:32,333 Guess your word cloud was right. 326 00:19:39,278 --> 00:19:42,770 Why didn't I know Josh was gay? I mean, even as a baby he looked gay. 327 00:19:42,881 --> 00:19:45,145 - Gay baby. - God. I'm going back to bed. 328 00:19:45,817 --> 00:19:47,341 Yell at me, Dana. Get mad! 329 00:19:47,452 --> 00:19:49,647 But don't keep it in. You're gonna give yourself butt cancer. 330 00:19:51,056 --> 00:19:54,389 I'm not mad at you. I'm happy. 331 00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:57,260 You married Uncle Phil from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. 332 00:19:57,362 --> 00:19:58,920 That's an obvious cry for help. 333 00:19:59,364 --> 00:20:01,889 Why are you here, Doug? Really? 334 00:20:05,437 --> 00:20:06,563 To get my passport. 335 00:20:07,673 --> 00:20:09,641 It's in the safety deposit box at the bank. 336 00:20:09,741 --> 00:20:11,709 We needed both keys to open it. 337 00:20:13,245 --> 00:20:15,645 Okay. There it is. 338 00:20:15,981 --> 00:20:17,846 Take it. Now you can leave. 339 00:20:18,116 --> 00:20:19,913 Just mail them both back when you're done. 340 00:20:20,652 --> 00:20:22,677 I don't want the passport anymore. 341 00:20:22,988 --> 00:20:24,819 I know why God kept me alive now. 342 00:20:24,923 --> 00:20:26,618 - Seeing you and Julie... - Jessie. 343 00:20:27,759 --> 00:20:29,989 I'm gonna stay here where I belong, at the head of this family. 344 00:20:30,095 --> 00:20:31,187 Right here in Agrestic. 345 00:20:31,363 --> 00:20:34,127 It's called Regrestic now. 346 00:20:34,333 --> 00:20:36,062 Well, that's retarded. 347 00:20:36,768 --> 00:20:40,932 You are not a part of this family anymore. 348 00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:45,809 You are just the idiot man-baby who walked out on us. 349 00:20:45,911 --> 00:20:50,939 Now, you ruined my life once before and you are not gonna ruin it again. 350 00:20:53,752 --> 00:20:55,276 Are you as turned on as I am right now? 351 00:20:59,758 --> 00:21:01,589 God damn it. 352 00:21:04,863 --> 00:21:05,989 Dude, what happened? 353 00:21:08,367 --> 00:21:13,430 I totally understand the ego issues involved when it comes to one's Louisville Slugger, 354 00:21:13,538 --> 00:21:18,441 but maybe you could've been a little more in the ballpark, size-wise. 355 00:21:19,211 --> 00:21:23,045 Man, what's that Sunni perv doing checking out my junk anyway? 356 00:21:23,482 --> 00:21:24,972 Fuck that whole family. 357 00:21:25,517 --> 00:21:26,814 No, go to her. 358 00:21:27,452 --> 00:21:30,216 Don't end up dead and alone like I'm going to. 359 00:21:31,723 --> 00:21:33,850 Maybe if I show him I got into college. 360 00:21:36,862 --> 00:21:39,126 All right. You guys have been dope. 361 00:21:39,931 --> 00:21:41,398 Wish me luck. 362 00:21:43,935 --> 00:21:47,302 - What's with you? - I saw a lot of dead people today. 363 00:21:47,406 --> 00:21:50,239 Kind of battling my own mortality. What are you guys doing? 364 00:21:50,342 --> 00:21:52,333 Getting Copenhagen money. 365 00:21:52,444 --> 00:21:54,469 - Sort of thought we'd find more. - That? Yeah. 366 00:21:54,579 --> 00:21:57,571 That's not gonna get us plane tickets, let alone passports. 367 00:21:57,683 --> 00:21:59,583 Fuck. I guess Copenhagen's off. 368 00:21:59,685 --> 00:22:01,414 No. No, it's not. 369 00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:06,753 Passports, plane tickets, whatever else we need, just go get it. 370 00:22:06,858 --> 00:22:09,952 Wake me when it's time to go. 371 00:22:11,430 --> 00:22:13,091 This will only cover the passports. 372 00:22:15,467 --> 00:22:18,129 I'll get the money. I'll get the money. 373 00:22:33,652 --> 00:22:36,621 Nance, I'll be honest, too much death today. 374 00:22:38,690 --> 00:22:41,250 I'm suddenly terrified of dying and leaving you guys alone. 375 00:22:42,661 --> 00:22:44,322 I got the tickets. 376 00:22:45,230 --> 00:22:48,688 And don't ask me how, but seven hours from now, 377 00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:52,031 we're all flying to Copenhagen via Paris. 378 00:22:52,738 --> 00:22:57,175 And I have arranged it so that you and I get to sit together. 379 00:22:57,409 --> 00:23:00,003 I need to tell you my official end-of-life plan 380 00:23:00,112 --> 00:23:02,376 before someone's sticking my dick in a soup container. 381 00:23:02,481 --> 00:23:03,778 So, ready? 382 00:23:05,450 --> 00:23:07,111 Open bar, 383 00:23:08,420 --> 00:23:09,409 big photo of me. 384 00:23:09,621 --> 00:23:12,715 Boy, those last minute tickets to Europe cost a lot. 385 00:23:14,493 --> 00:23:16,927 Okay, so here's the tickets. 386 00:23:17,095 --> 00:23:19,063 I want my ashes divided in two. 387 00:23:19,164 --> 00:23:22,964 One half set adrift on an ice floe in Glacier Bay. 388 00:23:23,068 --> 00:23:26,003 The other half blown into Norm Engerfelt's face 389 00:23:26,104 --> 00:23:30,131 with the words, "Anus Botwin says hi." 390 00:23:30,409 --> 00:23:35,369 Gratitude expressed through fellatio has never been rejected, ever in history. 391 00:23:35,614 --> 00:23:38,845 If you don't follow all this to the letter, I will haunt you. 392 00:23:38,950 --> 00:23:43,080 Murder-hallucinations, flying babies, giant hellmouth in your closet. 393 00:23:43,688 --> 00:23:45,053 Yeah. Real nightmare shit. 394 00:23:45,524 --> 00:23:47,151 I'm gonna go pack. 395 00:23:54,466 --> 00:23:56,297 Can I lie next to you for a second? 396 00:24:00,105 --> 00:24:03,438 I used to love sleeping between you and Dad. 397 00:24:06,144 --> 00:24:07,805 It felt so safe. 398 00:24:10,382 --> 00:24:12,816 Doesn't really feel like anything now. 399 00:24:16,254 --> 00:24:20,418 At least I don't have to worry about dropping dead at 40 from a bad ticker. 400 00:24:20,926 --> 00:24:23,087 Lars, he's in great shape. 401 00:24:30,936 --> 00:24:31,994 Bye, Mom. 402 00:24:33,738 --> 00:24:37,105 I sincerely wish you all good things. 403 00:25:18,316 --> 00:25:19,647 Andy? 404 00:25:20,218 --> 00:25:21,310 Andy? 405 00:25:23,788 --> 00:25:26,018 Hey. How was your nap? 406 00:25:26,124 --> 00:25:29,457 I'll meet you at the airport. You know what to do. 407 00:25:30,595 --> 00:25:34,497 - Plan A, plan B, or plan C? - I'll let you know. 408 00:27:04,556 --> 00:27:07,719 No, every time I'm walking down that tunnel. Every time. 409 00:27:07,826 --> 00:27:11,193 And once I find out what's at the end, I'll figure it out then. 410 00:27:11,296 --> 00:27:14,231 But at least I'll know. I'll know. 411 00:27:15,333 --> 00:27:18,564 No, every time I'm walking down that tunnel. Every time. 412 00:27:18,670 --> 00:27:22,003 And once I find out what's at the end, I'll figure it out then. 413 00:27:22,107 --> 00:27:25,076 But at least I'll know. I'll know. 414 00:27:26,344 --> 00:27:28,312 And why would you not wanna know?