1 00:00:08,108 --> 00:00:09,473 Previously on Weeds. 2 00:00:10,343 --> 00:00:13,039 - What? - I just love college so much. 3 00:00:13,146 --> 00:00:14,579 - Are you sure that's a good idea? - Yes. 4 00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:15,773 Geez, God! 5 00:00:15,882 --> 00:00:18,282 - Damn it! - Everyone's gonna be looking for us here. 6 00:00:18,518 --> 00:00:19,542 Goodbye, Seattle! 7 00:00:19,753 --> 00:00:20,811 - Kimmie. - Yeah? 8 00:00:20,920 --> 00:00:21,978 Can I borrow your car? 9 00:00:22,088 --> 00:00:23,112 You got a car! 10 00:00:23,223 --> 00:00:25,214 You are the hero of this family. 11 00:00:25,325 --> 00:00:26,815 What the fuck are you doing here? 12 00:00:27,894 --> 00:00:29,987 Mom. The fuckers got me. 13 00:00:30,096 --> 00:00:31,791 Come on, I've had nothing to eat in three days 14 00:00:31,898 --> 00:00:33,593 except for a linty car French fry. 15 00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:34,724 Where's my son? 16 00:00:39,439 --> 00:00:41,873 Your keys. I know where he is. 17 00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:44,836 You're not gonna shoot me. 18 00:00:44,944 --> 00:00:47,845 - I will if I have to. - But you don't have to. 19 00:00:47,947 --> 00:00:49,574 You gonna put a bullet in me, mi hijo? 20 00:00:50,383 --> 00:00:51,645 What do you think? 21 00:00:51,751 --> 00:00:53,548 Please record your message. 22 00:00:53,653 --> 00:00:56,213 Esteban, I'm a mother lion, 23 00:00:56,322 --> 00:01:00,315 and you can't defeat a mother lion when you threaten her cubs. 24 00:01:00,427 --> 00:01:05,865 I have to disappear now. Good luck with your crime. 25 00:01:20,246 --> 00:01:23,079 - Did you kill Pilar? - No. 26 00:01:23,183 --> 00:01:26,016 - Do you know who did? - No. 27 00:01:26,119 --> 00:01:29,919 Pilar Zuazo turns up dead. Your boss's wife goes missing. 28 00:01:31,057 --> 00:01:33,048 Any idea where she might be? 29 00:01:41,968 --> 00:01:43,299 Say it. 30 00:01:43,403 --> 00:01:44,870 Seattle was a bust. 31 00:01:44,971 --> 00:01:46,962 - You gonna listen to me now? - Yes. 32 00:01:47,073 --> 00:01:49,234 - Why? - You're the guru of off the grid. 33 00:01:49,342 --> 00:01:51,310 I'm the guru of off the grid. 34 00:01:51,411 --> 00:01:54,380 You've got me right here in this car with you, you lucky woman, you. 35 00:01:54,481 --> 00:01:55,539 So, are you gonna use me? 36 00:01:55,648 --> 00:01:58,242 You gonna accept my wisdom and experience? 37 00:01:58,351 --> 00:02:00,080 - Are you gonna let me take the lead? - Andy... 38 00:02:00,186 --> 00:02:03,781 - Randy. - Randy, I cede the reins to you, 39 00:02:03,890 --> 00:02:10,523 the expert, the guru, the one who will lead us in a safer, more untrackable direction. 40 00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:11,995 Thank you! 41 00:02:12,599 --> 00:02:16,365 It's a great honor. It's an honor that I don't take lightly, to protect, to guide... 42 00:02:16,469 --> 00:02:19,802 - Just fucking lay it out. - Fine, fine. Here we go. 43 00:02:19,906 --> 00:02:22,272 To quote Bill Maher, new rules. 44 00:02:22,375 --> 00:02:24,775 Number one. Keep moving. 45 00:02:24,878 --> 00:02:28,041 We need to widen the gap between us and our aggressors. 46 00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:31,049 That means at least another 24 hours on the road. 47 00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:36,646 No stopping. No exceptions, except for gas and potty. 48 00:02:36,756 --> 00:02:38,417 Hardcore. 49 00:02:38,892 --> 00:02:41,383 Rule number two, this one is key, 50 00:02:42,061 --> 00:02:43,619 no social interactions. 51 00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:47,057 We go way underground. Seal ourselves off. 52 00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:50,227 I'm talking bin Laden, the Unabomber. 53 00:02:51,070 --> 00:02:54,039 That guy Sly from Sly and the Family Stone. 54 00:02:54,140 --> 00:02:55,505 - Who? - Exactly. 55 00:02:55,608 --> 00:02:57,200 Nance? How's this sounding? 56 00:02:57,310 --> 00:02:59,778 Great. Movement, isolation... 57 00:02:59,879 --> 00:03:02,404 - Okay. Anyone have any questions so far? - Yeah. 58 00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:04,142 Do I get a road trip spirit name? 59 00:03:04,250 --> 00:03:05,478 No one's chasing you. 60 00:03:05,585 --> 00:03:08,110 Are you kidding? I owe Dana thousands in child support. 61 00:03:08,221 --> 00:03:09,518 How about "Ted"? 62 00:03:09,622 --> 00:03:12,785 Or "Coward Who Led a Car of Mexicans to Seattle." 63 00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:16,524 - Ted works. - Silas, you okay back there? 64 00:03:16,629 --> 00:03:18,563 - Yeah, I'm great. - We'll stop soon. 65 00:03:19,532 --> 00:03:23,127 Just for lunch! I promise. That's it. 66 00:03:23,236 --> 00:03:26,728 Then back on the road. Off the grid, Bill Maher. 67 00:03:33,613 --> 00:03:35,046 We should take the Lewis and Clark Trail. 68 00:03:35,148 --> 00:03:37,548 It goes from Washington State to Washington, D.C. 69 00:03:37,750 --> 00:03:40,241 - Why do you know these things? - I'm an autodidact. 70 00:03:40,353 --> 00:03:41,650 Also, there's a brochure up front. 71 00:03:41,754 --> 00:03:45,986 No historic trails. We gotta think more unpredictably. 72 00:03:46,092 --> 00:03:48,526 Now, when I trekked across Alaska, 73 00:03:48,628 --> 00:03:52,359 we only took even-numbered highways and avoided all suspension bridges. 74 00:03:52,465 --> 00:03:54,433 That baby doesn't look Mexican. 75 00:03:54,534 --> 00:03:56,661 Yeah, he's half. But Mom doesn't like us mentioning that. 76 00:03:56,769 --> 00:03:59,567 Well, when she comes back from the bathroom, she can complain about it. 77 00:04:42,782 --> 00:04:44,215 No, bad idea. 78 00:04:44,584 --> 00:04:46,552 What? This family needs some fun. 79 00:04:46,653 --> 00:04:48,450 Way too many people. 80 00:04:48,554 --> 00:04:50,784 Come on. Who's gonna spot us in the middle of Montana? 81 00:04:50,890 --> 00:04:53,324 Okay. You just put me in charge. 82 00:04:53,426 --> 00:04:55,724 Momentum, seclusion, Andy's plan. 83 00:04:56,329 --> 00:04:59,730 He's right. This doesn't seem like the smartest idea right now. 84 00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:02,594 I can't believe I have to convince you guys to go to a giant carnival. 85 00:05:02,702 --> 00:05:04,192 Look, there's a rodeo! 86 00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:08,239 And a roller coaster. 87 00:05:13,579 --> 00:05:15,206 - Really? - Yeah. 88 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:24,183 - Wait, what's going on? - That was Judah's thing. Roller coasters. 89 00:05:24,791 --> 00:05:27,954 Really? I thought he was kidding, when he said he designed those. 90 00:05:28,428 --> 00:05:31,420 - What did you think he did for a living? - Never really cared. 91 00:05:31,531 --> 00:05:34,967 Remember that one idea he had where the seats flipped, 92 00:05:35,068 --> 00:05:37,002 so you didn't actually go upside-down. 93 00:05:37,103 --> 00:05:39,537 And David Bowie music was pumped into the headrest. 94 00:05:39,639 --> 00:05:40,936 - Lightning Frightening. - Right. 95 00:05:41,708 --> 00:05:43,300 He kept a model of it in the garage. 96 00:05:43,409 --> 00:05:46,674 Yeah. And he always took us to that one at Six Flags, like every other weekend. 97 00:05:47,146 --> 00:05:48,636 That settles it. We're going. 98 00:05:48,981 --> 00:05:50,505 - Nance... - For old time's sake. 99 00:05:50,817 --> 00:05:53,581 Plus, Shane has been kidnapped, and it's very traumatic. 100 00:05:54,220 --> 00:05:56,347 - Being kidnapped. - I wouldn't know. 101 00:05:56,456 --> 00:05:58,583 Two hours, tops. 102 00:05:58,691 --> 00:06:01,216 I want everybody to clean up before you get back into the car. 103 00:06:01,327 --> 00:06:03,727 Change your shirts and your underwear. 104 00:06:03,830 --> 00:06:05,525 Hygiene, still important. 105 00:06:10,303 --> 00:06:12,897 You need to keep your hat on at all times. 106 00:06:13,005 --> 00:06:16,805 These places have tight security, cameras, undercover police. 107 00:06:16,909 --> 00:06:19,639 That bearded lady over there, not a lady at all. 108 00:06:19,746 --> 00:06:21,873 Safety. We got it. Relax. 109 00:06:21,981 --> 00:06:26,714 Relax? You're a squeaky field mouse headed into a bear cave, 110 00:06:26,819 --> 00:06:29,811 except the cave is a swarm of people, okay? 111 00:06:29,922 --> 00:06:33,358 And the mouse is your own ego. Wait, the cave is the... 112 00:06:33,459 --> 00:06:35,086 - You get my point. Ego. - Ego. Ego. 113 00:06:35,194 --> 00:06:36,889 Yes. Willful defiance. 114 00:06:36,996 --> 00:06:39,658 Because I laid down rules, but you had to break them. 115 00:06:39,766 --> 00:06:43,600 I am here because I don't want my kid to miss out on his entire fucking childhood. 116 00:06:43,703 --> 00:06:45,466 Okay? It's just fun. 117 00:06:45,571 --> 00:06:47,937 Did you see the way I held that gun on Ignacio? 118 00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:50,736 He caved like a coal mine. Fucking payaso amateur. 119 00:06:50,843 --> 00:06:53,641 Shane. Get over yourself. No one cares. 120 00:06:53,746 --> 00:06:55,338 - You're just jealous. - Of what? 121 00:06:56,048 --> 00:06:57,640 That Mom likes me better now. 122 00:06:58,718 --> 00:07:02,347 Pinwheels and whirligigs! Get your pinwheels and whirligigs! 123 00:07:02,755 --> 00:07:04,313 Five for $10! 124 00:07:04,624 --> 00:07:08,924 It spins, it whirls, it's a hee-haw fire-cracking whirligig! 125 00:07:09,028 --> 00:07:10,928 Wow. Do you want one? 126 00:07:11,397 --> 00:07:12,625 Sounds lame. 127 00:07:12,732 --> 00:07:15,860 Nope. Thanks, though. Have a good day. 128 00:07:16,736 --> 00:07:21,469 First prize in the 21st Annual Butter Sculpture Contest, luxury motor home. 129 00:07:21,574 --> 00:07:23,303 Win her today, drive her home tomorrow. 130 00:07:23,876 --> 00:07:25,138 That's right, folks. A luxury motor home. 131 00:07:25,244 --> 00:07:27,075 You win her today, you drive her home... 132 00:07:27,180 --> 00:07:30,240 Remind me again where we're supposed to be sleeping tonight. 133 00:07:30,750 --> 00:07:32,877 Doug, watch the baby. 134 00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:38,117 Yeah, don't worry about me. Assholes. 135 00:07:42,428 --> 00:07:43,759 Wow! 136 00:07:44,263 --> 00:07:45,890 This thing's insane. 137 00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:49,435 - We could live here. - We should. Should. We should live here. 138 00:07:49,535 --> 00:07:52,732 Kitchen, living room, bedroom, we could set up a little nursery. 139 00:07:53,272 --> 00:07:54,830 Is this Corian? 140 00:07:55,374 --> 00:07:57,069 We wouldn't have to stay in crappy motels. 141 00:07:57,176 --> 00:08:02,375 We could stay at national parks, up in the mountains. Anywhere. 142 00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,177 Plus, we need to dump Cesar's car. 143 00:08:04,283 --> 00:08:08,242 Yes, black town car. Classic bad-guy mobile. Very conspicuous. 144 00:08:09,622 --> 00:08:10,782 Andy? 145 00:08:11,624 --> 00:08:13,683 - Win this. - On it. 146 00:08:14,694 --> 00:08:18,494 So what? It's like a contest? Butter-sculpting? 147 00:08:18,865 --> 00:08:21,390 Yeah, I have no idea, but I'm a consummate contestant. 148 00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:24,993 I win shit all the time. Trust me, it's in the bag. 149 00:08:26,439 --> 00:08:29,101 Doug? Doug, I'm gonna pretend 150 00:08:29,208 --> 00:08:31,301 that you aren't the reason that we were tracked down 151 00:08:31,410 --> 00:08:33,571 and ask you to watch Stevie for the afternoon. 152 00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:37,046 Nance, I raised four kids. Trust me, they all turned out... 153 00:08:37,416 --> 00:08:38,508 Well, I raised four kids. 154 00:08:39,452 --> 00:08:43,354 Okay. So, there's a full bottle of formula in the stroller. 155 00:08:43,456 --> 00:08:45,321 He likes bird sounds. 156 00:08:46,025 --> 00:08:48,016 - No solid food, obviously. - Okay. 157 00:08:48,127 --> 00:08:51,221 - No sharp, pointy objects... - I'm good with babies. 158 00:08:51,330 --> 00:08:54,731 They see me as a kindred spirit/taller version of themselves. 159 00:08:54,834 --> 00:08:57,826 Go, be free. I am Ted Wilson now. Very responsible. 160 00:09:05,111 --> 00:09:06,976 I could be a carny. 161 00:09:07,079 --> 00:09:10,378 Driving from city to city. Handing out prizes. 162 00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:15,744 I once dressed up like the Muffin Man for Halloween. False story. 163 00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:21,721 Handed out muffins to all the neighborhood kids. 164 00:09:22,194 --> 00:09:24,594 I don't even like muffins. 165 00:09:25,932 --> 00:09:27,490 How do you say "muffin" in Mexican? 166 00:09:28,634 --> 00:09:30,693 Right, you can't talk still. 167 00:09:31,637 --> 00:09:33,537 How about this, Cheech? 168 00:09:33,639 --> 00:09:36,403 How about we ditch this den of creepy sadness and go have some real fun? 169 00:09:36,509 --> 00:09:37,999 How about that? 170 00:09:38,110 --> 00:09:39,600 Yeah, me, too. 171 00:09:44,984 --> 00:09:47,578 Was it cool, shooting someone? 172 00:09:47,687 --> 00:09:50,315 No, it wasn't cool. 173 00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:53,722 It wasn't cool. How many times do I have to tell you? Violence isn't cool. 174 00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:57,590 - Are you mad at me? - No, I'm not mad. 175 00:09:58,097 --> 00:10:00,065 - You sound mad. - I'm not mad. 176 00:10:01,033 --> 00:10:02,660 I'm worried that you're becoming... 177 00:10:02,768 --> 00:10:03,996 Like you? 178 00:10:06,205 --> 00:10:08,696 - What? No, that's not... - We're the same. 179 00:10:09,642 --> 00:10:13,043 Okay. Don't try to tell me what I am. All right? I know what I am. 180 00:10:13,145 --> 00:10:16,376 I've been what I am a lot longer than you've been 181 00:10:16,949 --> 00:10:18,041 what you maybe are. 182 00:10:22,221 --> 00:10:26,248 And even if you are "like me," you're still a boy. 183 00:10:26,359 --> 00:10:30,659 Smart, so smart, but a little lost. 184 00:10:30,763 --> 00:10:32,993 And, Shane, listen, 185 00:10:33,833 --> 00:10:39,135 it's my job to make sure you don't turn out to be a psychopath. Okay? 186 00:10:39,238 --> 00:10:42,605 So if that means dragging you to some amusement park 187 00:10:42,708 --> 00:10:43,766 or slapping you on the head 188 00:10:43,876 --> 00:10:47,835 every time you say "cunt" or "bitch" or "motherfucking cunt," 189 00:10:48,714 --> 00:10:52,013 I'm gonna fucking do it, okay? Because I'm still your mom. 190 00:10:52,118 --> 00:10:57,146 And I haven't finished trying to be your mom. Okay? 191 00:10:58,691 --> 00:11:00,386 - Understood? - Yeah. 192 00:11:10,002 --> 00:11:13,836 Hi, I would like to sign up for your butter sculpture contest. 193 00:11:13,939 --> 00:11:15,770 - Me, too. - Big sculpting fan. 194 00:11:15,875 --> 00:11:20,005 Got some pottery experience, never worked in the butter medium before. 195 00:11:20,112 --> 00:11:24,344 Although I once made an Aztec temple out of gummy worms and marshmallows. 196 00:11:25,818 --> 00:11:28,378 I like art in general. 197 00:11:28,954 --> 00:11:29,943 Well, we'd love to have you. 198 00:11:30,056 --> 00:11:32,923 Always nice to have a father-son team at the table. 199 00:11:33,025 --> 00:11:35,823 I just need you to scribble down your John Hancocks, right here. 200 00:11:38,564 --> 00:11:40,191 Only four people. 201 00:11:40,966 --> 00:11:42,695 - Pool gets smaller every year. - Really? 202 00:11:43,069 --> 00:11:46,698 Because I figured, you know, it's such a lustrous prize. 203 00:11:46,806 --> 00:11:48,239 She's a beaut, isn't she? 204 00:11:48,340 --> 00:11:51,798 Apollo Legend, luxury class A, 360 horsepower. 205 00:11:51,911 --> 00:11:55,506 - Even has a fold-out veranda. - Okay. Wow. 206 00:11:55,614 --> 00:11:58,481 Donation from our corporate sponsor, big butter family. 207 00:11:58,584 --> 00:12:00,176 Owns most of southern Montana. 208 00:12:00,286 --> 00:12:03,949 Now, what exactly is a butter sculpture? 209 00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:12,857 Montana's sons and daughters, carved in butter. 210 00:12:12,965 --> 00:12:15,024 - So, they're pre-made? - Thirty pounds each. 211 00:12:15,134 --> 00:12:17,728 Had to keep them in a rotating cooler all night. 212 00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:20,630 Yeah, it's a shame they gotta be destroyed. 213 00:12:21,340 --> 00:12:22,773 Destroyed because... 214 00:12:23,409 --> 00:12:24,774 It's an eating contest. 215 00:12:26,145 --> 00:12:29,774 - We make them, you eat them. - Right. 216 00:12:30,816 --> 00:12:33,444 Anyhoo, contest starts in 20 minutes, 217 00:12:34,386 --> 00:12:36,286 Randy and Michael. 218 00:12:43,963 --> 00:12:46,056 This line is ridiculous. 219 00:12:46,899 --> 00:12:48,298 Can't we just cut? 220 00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:51,267 - What did we just talk about? - Cursing, violence. 221 00:12:51,370 --> 00:12:54,032 Respect. Self-control. 222 00:12:54,140 --> 00:12:56,574 I just think outlaws don't wait in line. 223 00:12:56,675 --> 00:13:00,441 Outlaws also don't refer to themselves as outlaws. Just FYI. 224 00:13:01,947 --> 00:13:04,711 - So, what now? - We wait. 225 00:13:05,518 --> 00:13:06,849 Oh, honey. 226 00:13:07,253 --> 00:13:10,222 ...how much fucking government-subsidized corn we can grow on that land? 227 00:13:10,322 --> 00:13:12,882 In fact, we don't even have to grow it and they'll pay us. 228 00:13:13,159 --> 00:13:14,820 - Mom, Mom. Mom! - One more, one more. 229 00:13:16,095 --> 00:13:17,187 Yeah. 230 00:13:17,863 --> 00:13:19,626 - Are you having a good time? - Yeah. 231 00:13:19,732 --> 00:13:21,495 This is taking fucking forever. 232 00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:24,034 We should do more things together. 233 00:13:24,670 --> 00:13:26,535 We should. Your dad would have liked that. 234 00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:28,436 Look at these people. 235 00:13:28,941 --> 00:13:30,568 Do you miss him? 236 00:13:31,410 --> 00:13:34,470 Yeah, I do, yeah. But what are you gonna do? 237 00:13:34,580 --> 00:13:36,343 Fuck this. Come on. 238 00:13:38,083 --> 00:13:39,448 - Quick, Dylan. - Get in here and stay quiet. 239 00:13:39,552 --> 00:13:40,883 Follow Daddy. 240 00:13:41,187 --> 00:13:42,279 Mom? 241 00:13:45,691 --> 00:13:48,387 It's no big deal. We'll all get on eventually. 242 00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:51,554 - They totally just cut. - I know, but they're idiots. 243 00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:53,029 People in line are gonna get pissed. 244 00:13:53,132 --> 00:13:54,997 They're gonna end up at the back where they belong. 245 00:13:55,901 --> 00:13:58,836 Forty-nine... Sorry, folks, ride's closing. 246 00:13:58,938 --> 00:14:01,406 We open tomorrow at 10:00 if you wanna come back. 247 00:14:01,507 --> 00:14:02,667 You've gotta be kidding me. 248 00:14:02,775 --> 00:14:04,743 Midway closes early on Wednesdays for maintenance. 249 00:14:06,078 --> 00:14:11,675 Well, look, my late husband, this young boy's dead father, 250 00:14:11,784 --> 00:14:15,220 was a roller coaster designer, so it's kind of a family tradition. 251 00:14:15,321 --> 00:14:19,758 - And what's two more people? - If I let you on, I'd have to let everybody. 252 00:14:21,393 --> 00:14:22,553 Right. 253 00:14:24,730 --> 00:14:26,698 - Wait here. - I'm coming. 254 00:14:30,369 --> 00:14:32,098 - Excuse me. - What? 255 00:14:32,571 --> 00:14:34,539 I believe that you were behind me in the line. 256 00:14:35,174 --> 00:14:36,141 No. 257 00:14:37,209 --> 00:14:38,437 Yes. 258 00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:42,939 You guys aren't gonna say anything? 259 00:14:44,350 --> 00:14:47,842 - This man just cut right in front of you. - It's okay. 260 00:14:47,953 --> 00:14:50,012 Look, lady, we're not breaking any laws. 261 00:14:50,322 --> 00:14:54,315 So? It's completely unacceptable and rude. 262 00:14:54,426 --> 00:14:57,452 Not to mention crappy! Excuse me. 263 00:14:57,563 --> 00:15:01,499 What about you? Big man? You were behind me in line. 264 00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:03,898 This guy cut in front of us. Come here, come here. 265 00:15:04,003 --> 00:15:04,992 You gonna let him do that? 266 00:15:05,104 --> 00:15:08,005 You're gonna let him do whatever he wants and walk all over you? 267 00:15:09,775 --> 00:15:11,504 - Fuck no. - Fuck no! 268 00:15:12,344 --> 00:15:14,676 Hey, Bruce, get the fuck out of the line, you cutter. 269 00:15:14,780 --> 00:15:18,181 Lick my balls, Jimmy. You're just mad 'cause I thought of it first. 270 00:15:18,350 --> 00:15:20,750 - Hey! That ain't right! - Shut it, Sandy! 271 00:15:20,853 --> 00:15:22,582 Hey, you don't say "shut it" to my wife! 272 00:15:22,688 --> 00:15:24,053 - She was my wife first! - Take it easy. 273 00:15:24,156 --> 00:15:25,817 Been there, done that. I traded up, Ned! 274 00:15:26,258 --> 00:15:27,748 - Fuck you! - Kick his ass! 275 00:15:27,860 --> 00:15:28,952 Get in there, honey! Kick his ass! 276 00:15:29,061 --> 00:15:30,858 - Yeah, Jimmy? - Yeah! Kick his ass! 277 00:15:37,836 --> 00:15:38,860 Shut up, you coward! 278 00:15:38,971 --> 00:15:39,938 Let's go! Lick his balls! 279 00:15:42,141 --> 00:15:43,472 Get out of here! 280 00:15:45,477 --> 00:15:46,535 Okay. 281 00:15:47,146 --> 00:15:50,809 Here you go. Just let the flavor melt in your mouth. 282 00:15:54,153 --> 00:15:56,951 Wash it down with a little bit of ice-cream. 283 00:15:57,656 --> 00:15:58,918 Hungry yet? 284 00:15:59,024 --> 00:16:02,152 Not enough to eat 30 pounds of milk fat. You? 285 00:16:02,261 --> 00:16:03,853 Getting there. 286 00:16:05,064 --> 00:16:06,588 This is tasty. 287 00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:11,266 It's leftover from Seattle. I just added a little cinnamon for flavor. 288 00:16:12,171 --> 00:16:14,196 Sometimes I think you're the son I never had. 289 00:16:15,541 --> 00:16:16,667 Thanks. 290 00:16:17,176 --> 00:16:18,541 I'm serious. 291 00:16:19,878 --> 00:16:21,470 I feel a special kinship. 292 00:16:22,348 --> 00:16:24,714 Because we're related. 293 00:16:25,417 --> 00:16:28,011 I'm talking a spiritual kinship. 294 00:16:28,854 --> 00:16:30,719 A shared sensitivity of the spirit 295 00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:34,054 combined with what I like to call "untapped potential." 296 00:16:34,159 --> 00:16:37,128 Plus, the whole sneaking onto a college campus thing. 297 00:16:37,229 --> 00:16:39,459 Very Andy circa '87. 298 00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:41,193 I'm applying. 299 00:16:43,435 --> 00:16:45,164 - What? - Or Mike Newman is. 300 00:16:45,571 --> 00:16:48,301 I grabbed a common app back in Seattle. 301 00:16:49,174 --> 00:16:50,869 - Does Mom know? - No. 302 00:16:51,377 --> 00:16:53,402 - And you can't tell her. - No. 303 00:16:53,512 --> 00:16:55,912 - Promise? - Yeah, okay. Wow! 304 00:16:56,949 --> 00:16:58,507 Really? Okay. 305 00:16:59,351 --> 00:17:02,047 There's this question on the application. 306 00:17:02,154 --> 00:17:05,385 "Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, 307 00:17:05,491 --> 00:17:07,789 "or ethical dilemma you've faced." 308 00:17:09,595 --> 00:17:10,857 Ethical dilemma? 309 00:17:12,131 --> 00:17:14,759 - What are you gonna do? - I don't know. 310 00:17:16,635 --> 00:17:19,263 But I do know 311 00:17:19,371 --> 00:17:21,396 that I don't wanna end up like Mom and Shane. 312 00:17:21,507 --> 00:17:22,940 Hey! Come on. 313 00:17:23,609 --> 00:17:25,133 They're flawed. 314 00:17:27,246 --> 00:17:29,214 Like us, like everybody. 315 00:17:29,314 --> 00:17:30,303 I'm serious. 316 00:17:30,849 --> 00:17:34,444 I feel like a complete asshole for stealing Kimmie's car. 317 00:17:35,788 --> 00:17:38,848 I wanna earn my own way, or whatever. 318 00:17:39,792 --> 00:17:41,282 Do things... 319 00:17:43,462 --> 00:17:45,123 Do things right. 320 00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:50,194 Randy and Mike Newman, to the dairy platform. 321 00:17:50,302 --> 00:17:54,033 Randy and Mike Newman, please report to the dairy platform. 322 00:17:55,307 --> 00:17:56,604 That's us. 323 00:19:01,907 --> 00:19:04,068 You're next, buddy! Get ready! 324 00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:12,439 Don't smile. You have to try things the right way first. 325 00:19:12,551 --> 00:19:16,681 Then, and only then, incite a crowd, whatever. 326 00:19:17,189 --> 00:19:19,020 Don't tell Uncle Andy we cut the line. 327 00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:17,510 We have a winner! 328 00:20:35,367 --> 00:20:36,629 Coming through, folks. 329 00:20:38,837 --> 00:20:41,431 - Is he gonna be okay? - He's fine. Minor heart attack. 330 00:20:41,540 --> 00:20:43,735 Not good for the ticker, eating that much butter. 331 00:20:43,842 --> 00:20:46,936 - Right. - That was some work you did back there. 332 00:20:47,045 --> 00:20:50,344 I know! I was a proud father today. 333 00:20:51,316 --> 00:20:52,442 Thanks. 334 00:20:52,551 --> 00:20:54,041 I feel pretty gross. 335 00:20:54,152 --> 00:20:57,280 Yeah, I'm sure that'll pass when you're sitting in your brand-new mobile home. 336 00:20:59,358 --> 00:21:01,986 So, how do we do this? Is there a claim center or... 337 00:21:02,127 --> 00:21:06,621 No, right here. Got some forms to fill out. Tax mumbo-jumbo. 338 00:21:08,300 --> 00:21:10,666 - Forms? - Yeah. State law requires us to submit 339 00:21:10,769 --> 00:21:14,603 Social Security numbers to the county clerk before we hand out any major prizes. 340 00:21:14,706 --> 00:21:19,143 Only exceptions are antiques and tropical fish. 341 00:21:20,512 --> 00:21:25,245 And what if we... He doesn't have a Social Security number? 342 00:21:25,350 --> 00:21:28,376 That's fine. You just jot down your tax ID number. 343 00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:34,717 - Can we have a minute? - Sure. 344 00:21:34,826 --> 00:21:35,850 When you're done, 345 00:21:35,961 --> 00:21:39,362 they're gonna wanna take a picture of the big winner for The Chronicle. 346 00:21:43,235 --> 00:21:44,600 Fucking damn it. 347 00:21:44,970 --> 00:21:47,302 - How was he? - Great. Napped most of the day. 348 00:21:47,406 --> 00:21:49,203 And you were right about those bird sounds. 349 00:21:49,308 --> 00:21:51,572 Sleep, chirp, sleep, chirp. 350 00:21:51,677 --> 00:21:53,201 - Doug. - What? 351 00:21:53,312 --> 00:21:54,643 - I didn't do anything. - Still full. 352 00:21:55,113 --> 00:21:56,080 He wasn't hungry. 353 00:21:57,115 --> 00:22:00,482 Irresponsible, Doug. He's a baby. He needs his bottle. 354 00:22:00,952 --> 00:22:03,978 Jesus Christ, it's like I have to do everything myself. 355 00:22:06,858 --> 00:22:08,587 Thanks, for today. 356 00:22:09,928 --> 00:22:10,986 I love you. 357 00:22:11,863 --> 00:22:13,160 But get in the back. 358 00:22:35,887 --> 00:22:38,321 - Are you mad at me? - Yes, I'm mad at you. 359 00:22:38,423 --> 00:22:40,323 I was giving you the silent treatment. 360 00:22:40,425 --> 00:22:44,054 - Come on. You had fun. - Okay, I had a little fun. 361 00:22:45,297 --> 00:22:47,891 But you stole my power, undercut my authority 362 00:22:47,999 --> 00:22:49,557 within seconds of giving me the reins. 363 00:22:49,668 --> 00:22:52,501 - Now you're back in charge. - Yeah. Why don't I believe that? 364 00:22:52,604 --> 00:22:55,505 Right, 'cause the last time you said it, you took a six-hour detour. 365 00:22:56,308 --> 00:22:58,902 Today was something I needed to do. 366 00:23:00,479 --> 00:23:01,639 Please? 367 00:23:02,347 --> 00:23:03,541 Andy? 368 00:23:11,022 --> 00:23:15,220 Keep heading east on 80. I'll see if I can find us a new route. 369 00:23:18,430 --> 00:23:19,522 Hey. 370 00:23:20,332 --> 00:23:21,356 Check it out.