1 00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:08,637 Previously on Weeds. 2 00:00:08,742 --> 00:00:10,767 Shane, what the fuck happened at the party? 3 00:00:10,877 --> 00:00:12,936 I killed Pilar with a croquet mallet by the pool. 4 00:00:13,279 --> 00:00:15,372 She was gonna kill us so I popped the bitch. 5 00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:20,919 My child murdered someone. I have to leave town now. 6 00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:23,581 You can come if you want. I'd like you to come. 7 00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:27,182 No, I want to stay here and start my life with this woman I love. 8 00:00:27,293 --> 00:00:29,284 Well, that's not really an option for you anymore, Andy. 9 00:00:29,396 --> 00:00:30,886 We're not gonna work out. 10 00:00:30,997 --> 00:00:33,727 So, what's the destination, boss? 11 00:00:33,833 --> 00:00:34,800 North. 12 00:00:34,901 --> 00:00:38,564 Time for Uncle Andy's guide to living off the grid. 13 00:00:38,905 --> 00:00:40,805 Step one, kill your old identity. 14 00:00:40,907 --> 00:00:43,034 Step two, establishing new identities. 15 00:00:43,309 --> 00:00:45,243 - I'll be Mike. - Shawn. 16 00:00:45,345 --> 00:00:49,145 - Nathalie. - I'll be Randy Newman! N-E-W-M-A-N. 17 00:00:49,249 --> 00:00:51,547 Heritage muddy. Jew? Can't tell. 18 00:00:51,651 --> 00:00:54,518 The Newmans will succeed where the Botwins failed. 19 00:00:54,621 --> 00:00:56,851 They will find jobs, have hobbies. 20 00:00:56,956 --> 00:00:58,548 They will live a normal life. 21 00:00:58,958 --> 00:01:01,984 Go get her. Get my son. 22 00:01:17,777 --> 00:01:19,711 It was about four months ago. 23 00:01:19,813 --> 00:01:23,613 And, Andy was there for the birth, of course. 24 00:01:24,150 --> 00:01:26,141 And Esteban arrived later. 25 00:01:27,554 --> 00:01:29,886 That pissed off Andy like you wouldn't believe. 26 00:01:31,157 --> 00:01:33,387 But I guess he's happy now. He took off after her 27 00:01:33,493 --> 00:01:36,223 like she was made of shit and he was king of the flies. 28 00:01:37,297 --> 00:01:41,165 I had just been held hostage and my fiance was leaving me. 29 00:01:41,267 --> 00:01:44,566 I wasn't asking too many questions about Nancy's travel plans. 30 00:01:45,405 --> 00:01:46,997 Far away, I hope. 31 00:01:47,907 --> 00:01:49,374 In my minivan. 32 00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:52,244 In my minivan. 33 00:01:57,817 --> 00:01:59,444 What do we want? Money! 34 00:01:59,552 --> 00:02:01,383 When do we want it? Now! 35 00:02:01,488 --> 00:02:03,353 What do we want? Money! 36 00:02:03,456 --> 00:02:04,650 When do we want it? Now! 37 00:02:05,425 --> 00:02:07,188 What do we want? Money! 38 00:02:07,627 --> 00:02:09,185 This is a real dilemma, Nance. 39 00:02:09,295 --> 00:02:11,422 - On the one hand... - We want money. 40 00:02:11,531 --> 00:02:12,793 Well, on the other... 41 00:02:12,899 --> 00:02:14,833 We want it now? Need, actually. 42 00:02:14,934 --> 00:02:18,199 We have exactly $793 between us. 43 00:02:18,304 --> 00:02:19,566 I don't see the dilemma. 44 00:02:21,941 --> 00:02:26,207 Crossing a picket line is against everything Andy Botwin's ever stood for. 45 00:02:26,312 --> 00:02:29,110 What's broke-ass Randy Newman's take on it? 46 00:02:30,550 --> 00:02:31,778 Fuck them. 47 00:02:32,352 --> 00:02:34,411 - Don't cross our line! - Stay strong. 48 00:02:35,054 --> 00:02:37,750 Union busters! Scabs! 49 00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:39,822 Well, you all seem to have quite a lot of experience 50 00:02:39,926 --> 00:02:41,052 in the hospitality industry. 51 00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:44,927 We're very passionate about hospitality. 52 00:02:46,466 --> 00:02:48,058 Any problem crossing the picket line? 53 00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:50,602 They're all bark. No bite. 54 00:02:50,703 --> 00:02:52,000 Morally, I mean. 55 00:02:52,405 --> 00:02:55,033 We sympathize with both sides. 56 00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:59,073 Yeah. Well, only one side is right. Okay? 57 00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:01,977 Those are good people out there and I'd be with them if I could. 58 00:03:02,081 --> 00:03:03,480 But I got to pay for rink time. 59 00:03:04,884 --> 00:03:06,476 My youngest is an ice dancer. 60 00:03:06,886 --> 00:03:08,854 Russia, 2014. 61 00:03:08,955 --> 00:03:11,480 Noel Kruszewski. Remember that name. 62 00:03:11,591 --> 00:03:13,286 Noel Kruszewski. 63 00:03:13,493 --> 00:03:15,154 That is some outfit. 64 00:03:15,261 --> 00:03:17,388 - He's not gay. - I'm sure he's not. 65 00:03:17,497 --> 00:03:19,260 Yeah. Well, he might be gay. 66 00:03:19,365 --> 00:03:20,332 That's okay, too. 67 00:03:20,433 --> 00:03:24,836 So, I'm a great problem solver. I manage people really well. 68 00:03:24,938 --> 00:03:26,599 And Randy here... 69 00:03:26,706 --> 00:03:30,836 I don't typically toot my own horn but I do have extensive culinary training. 70 00:03:30,944 --> 00:03:33,970 I am great behind the bar. Quick with the bottle, short with the pour. 71 00:03:35,448 --> 00:03:36,745 Well, that all sounds quite impressive. 72 00:03:39,953 --> 00:03:41,682 Dishwasher. Bellhop. Maid. 73 00:03:47,961 --> 00:03:48,928 This is good. 74 00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:51,891 It's grounding. It's a seedling. 75 00:03:52,498 --> 00:03:54,864 From which we will branch out and flourish. 76 00:03:55,468 --> 00:03:57,959 The normal Newmans from normal town? 77 00:03:59,272 --> 00:04:02,571 And you really believe we can keep this up for any serious length of time? 78 00:04:03,142 --> 00:04:06,236 This is who we are now. This is us. 79 00:04:08,414 --> 00:04:10,507 What if you'd have gotten a real job after Dad died 80 00:04:10,617 --> 00:04:12,346 and we could have skipped all this shit? 81 00:04:12,452 --> 00:04:14,579 We would have had to sell the house. 82 00:04:14,687 --> 00:04:16,314 Move to a very different zip code. 83 00:04:16,422 --> 00:04:19,391 You and Shane would have gone to even lousier public schools. 84 00:04:19,492 --> 00:04:21,255 Doesn't sound so bad. 85 00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:24,696 You probably still would have knocked up a girl. 86 00:04:24,797 --> 00:04:28,426 Maybe this one would have been blind instead of deaf or missing a limb. 87 00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:31,032 You would have struggled with your grades, 88 00:04:31,504 --> 00:04:34,598 smoked weed, dropped out, gotten your GED. 89 00:04:35,174 --> 00:04:39,474 Your brother still would have had rage issues. 90 00:04:39,579 --> 00:04:44,175 He would have lost his virginity to a skanky girl or a skanky-girl duo. 91 00:04:44,751 --> 00:04:46,810 He would have grown increasingly alienated, 92 00:04:47,053 --> 00:04:50,420 ended up stabbing the mailman or my manager at the Gap. 93 00:04:50,523 --> 00:04:53,219 We would have been in the exact same spot we're in right now. 94 00:04:56,095 --> 00:04:59,258 Shane, if Mom would have worked at the Gap instead of selling drugs, 95 00:04:59,365 --> 00:05:00,730 you think you still would have killed somebody? 96 00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:05,096 Probably. 97 00:05:15,248 --> 00:05:16,545 Oh, boy. 98 00:05:16,649 --> 00:05:19,516 I think your mom has now awakened all the hookers. 99 00:05:19,752 --> 00:05:22,550 Okay, hopefully, he should sleep soon. 100 00:05:22,655 --> 00:05:25,818 There's four bottles in the fridge. Changing stuff is on the dresser. 101 00:05:25,925 --> 00:05:28,291 Remember to cream his butt, so he doesn't get a rash. 102 00:05:28,394 --> 00:05:30,521 And you got to burp him every time you feed him. 103 00:05:30,630 --> 00:05:33,463 Your mom's gonna call in a couple hours. She says don't leave the room. 104 00:05:33,700 --> 00:05:35,463 Did you really just say, "Cream his butt?" 105 00:05:35,568 --> 00:05:37,627 I did. Mike, time to go. 106 00:05:38,705 --> 00:05:40,570 You really think it's a good idea? 107 00:05:40,673 --> 00:05:41,935 Leaving Pebbles with Bamm-Bamm? 108 00:05:42,241 --> 00:05:47,372 No, but we can't afford childcare, so we have to take this small leap of faith. 109 00:05:47,647 --> 00:05:52,516 I'm encouraged, because so far, the baby's never tried to have us all killed. 110 00:05:55,088 --> 00:05:56,112 Nice hat. 111 00:05:56,489 --> 00:05:58,320 Let's practice. I'll say ding and you hop. 112 00:05:58,558 --> 00:06:00,150 Ding! Get me the remote. 113 00:06:07,133 --> 00:06:10,261 Shit! He just took the remote, Stevie. We're screwed. 114 00:06:12,605 --> 00:06:14,402 Fuck this place. Let's roll. 115 00:06:35,294 --> 00:06:36,727 Housekeeping! 116 00:06:42,635 --> 00:06:45,832 Hey. Hi. What's going on? 117 00:06:46,873 --> 00:06:48,363 I feel like we're in a reality show. 118 00:06:49,108 --> 00:06:50,473 Who's getting chopped? 119 00:06:51,444 --> 00:06:53,071 You the new dishwasher? 120 00:06:53,179 --> 00:06:56,239 And... Randy. Randy. 121 00:06:56,349 --> 00:06:58,340 Not Ayn Rand-y. Couldn't get through Atlas Shrugged. 122 00:06:59,719 --> 00:07:01,710 - You start work at 11:00. - Yeah. 123 00:07:02,288 --> 00:07:03,915 Which means you need to be here before 11:00, 124 00:07:04,023 --> 00:07:05,650 so you can be ready for inspection. 125 00:07:05,992 --> 00:07:08,620 - Inspection. - Are we ready? 126 00:07:09,629 --> 00:07:11,620 - Yes, Chef Wagner. - Yes, Chef Wagner. 127 00:07:16,502 --> 00:07:19,562 Morning, Chef. Randy Newman. I'm a chef myself, you know. 128 00:07:19,672 --> 00:07:21,902 So if there's anything I can do to help spark up the menu, 129 00:07:22,008 --> 00:07:22,975 please let me know. 130 00:07:23,075 --> 00:07:26,203 I noticed that you're still serving things in bread bowls. 131 00:07:26,312 --> 00:07:29,406 That is so '80s. So, you're trying to be retro, yeah? 132 00:07:29,816 --> 00:07:30,805 What are you? 133 00:07:32,351 --> 00:07:34,683 Bit of an open-ended question there. 134 00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:36,915 Astrologically, I'm a Libra. 135 00:07:37,256 --> 00:07:41,625 Scales, hence I'm idealistic and romantic, 136 00:07:41,727 --> 00:07:44,389 - but also a tad impatient... - He's the dishwasher. 137 00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:47,724 Well, yeah, among other things, but temporarily. 138 00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:49,897 Then I suggest you do some dishes. 139 00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:51,467 There aren't any to wash yet. 140 00:07:51,704 --> 00:07:53,262 Let's talk food! 141 00:07:57,009 --> 00:07:59,102 I get it, hazing. Okay. 142 00:08:59,739 --> 00:09:02,037 And where would you like it, Mr. Duvane? 143 00:09:02,808 --> 00:09:05,174 You may set it right on the bed, thank you. 144 00:09:05,811 --> 00:09:07,506 And call me Paul. 145 00:09:08,648 --> 00:09:09,842 Beautiful room! 146 00:09:09,982 --> 00:09:12,473 - Yeah. It's nice. - Yeah. 147 00:09:13,085 --> 00:09:15,178 Fancy TV and everything. 148 00:09:15,621 --> 00:09:19,216 Although, I don't really watch TV. I like books. 149 00:09:19,692 --> 00:09:21,557 Is there gonna be anything else, Mr. Duvane? 150 00:09:22,628 --> 00:09:24,391 Of course. I'm so sorry. 151 00:09:25,898 --> 00:09:27,957 Recalibrating for manners. 152 00:09:28,334 --> 00:09:30,131 You're in need of a reward. 153 00:09:30,670 --> 00:09:32,729 - There we go. - Wow. 154 00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:34,767 It's very generous. Thank you. 155 00:09:34,874 --> 00:09:36,535 Yeah, well, you must be tired. Heavy bag. 156 00:09:36,642 --> 00:09:38,166 Please. Here, sit. 157 00:09:38,811 --> 00:09:41,006 - I should really be going. - No, please. 158 00:10:02,868 --> 00:10:03,892 Do you like books, Mike? 159 00:10:04,303 --> 00:10:06,771 Yeah, sure. Books, they're okay. 160 00:10:06,872 --> 00:10:08,772 "Okay" is a 60-degree day. 161 00:10:08,874 --> 00:10:10,341 Where's the hot and the cold? 162 00:10:10,776 --> 00:10:12,368 I want you to read to me. 163 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:18,114 - I'm sorry. What? - You see, I have plenty of books here. 164 00:10:18,217 --> 00:10:19,616 But they tire my eyes 165 00:10:20,820 --> 00:10:22,549 and don't you think it's fantastic 166 00:10:22,655 --> 00:10:25,385 when you hear stories in somebody else's voice? 167 00:10:26,792 --> 00:10:30,956 I should get back downstairs. There was a pregnant woman coming in... 168 00:10:31,063 --> 00:10:32,928 A family of pregnant women. Lots of bags. 169 00:10:33,032 --> 00:10:35,728 Nobody else will tip you as well as I will. 170 00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:47,310 So I just sit here and read to you? 171 00:10:47,413 --> 00:10:48,607 Yeah. More or less. 172 00:10:48,881 --> 00:10:51,247 What's the "more"? 173 00:10:52,218 --> 00:10:53,685 Let's just focus on the "less." 174 00:11:10,903 --> 00:11:12,302 Piece of shit. 175 00:11:16,108 --> 00:11:19,134 Yeah, it's really not worth it to fix it. You might as well buy a new one. 176 00:11:19,245 --> 00:11:20,234 What do you got? 177 00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:22,109 Well, we exclusively carry the Yippity line here. 178 00:11:22,214 --> 00:11:24,546 We got the Yippity Sport, the Yippity Deluxe. 179 00:11:24,884 --> 00:11:27,011 And our best-seller, the Yippity Dragon. 180 00:11:27,653 --> 00:11:29,621 - How much is it? - $800. 181 00:11:30,289 --> 00:11:32,189 For a stroller? That's ridiculous. 182 00:11:32,825 --> 00:11:34,452 What do you have for $100? 183 00:11:34,560 --> 00:11:37,461 I've got the Yippity Sippity. That's the cup holder. 184 00:11:37,596 --> 00:11:40,565 A cup holder, for $100? 185 00:11:40,666 --> 00:11:42,964 Look, I don't make the things. I just sell them. 186 00:11:43,269 --> 00:11:44,293 Living the dream. 187 00:11:44,403 --> 00:11:46,894 Yeah, look, kid, I bought my house at the height of the market, 188 00:11:47,006 --> 00:11:48,303 and now I'm squatting in it. 189 00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:49,732 Add to that my Scrabble debts 190 00:11:49,842 --> 00:11:52,777 and my wife wanting, no, needing, the lap band, 191 00:11:52,878 --> 00:11:54,812 and I don't have time to dream. 192 00:11:54,914 --> 00:11:58,315 If you ain't buying, I'm going back to my online game. 193 00:12:06,859 --> 00:12:09,350 - God! I'll come back. - No. Wait. 194 00:12:09,462 --> 00:12:12,693 She took off. She said she was late for her day job. 195 00:12:12,798 --> 00:12:14,527 Are there keys on the desk? 196 00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:18,400 - Yeah. - Great. 197 00:12:18,504 --> 00:12:19,562 Please. 198 00:12:20,206 --> 00:12:21,230 Thank you. 199 00:12:26,278 --> 00:12:27,506 Awkward. 200 00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:33,245 Wow. Did you have an accident? 201 00:12:33,486 --> 00:12:34,714 No, that's not mine. 202 00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:37,783 - Hers? - Yeah. I got what I paid for. 203 00:12:37,890 --> 00:12:40,791 - Could you hurry up, please? - Wait. Let me get this straight. 204 00:12:41,093 --> 00:12:44,995 So, you invite a hooker up here, have her cuff you to the bed, 205 00:12:45,097 --> 00:12:47,964 drink a $20 bottle of Evian and then pee on you. 206 00:12:48,067 --> 00:12:51,161 Did you at any point happen to think who might have to clean it up? 207 00:12:51,270 --> 00:12:53,898 That's your job. Don't pass judgment on me. 208 00:12:54,006 --> 00:12:55,871 I'm a paying guest. You're the fucking maid! 209 00:12:55,975 --> 00:12:58,136 Will you hurry with the keys! 210 00:13:05,217 --> 00:13:06,912 You're not exactly in the power position, 211 00:13:07,019 --> 00:13:09,886 so I suggest you be a little more respectful to me, 212 00:13:10,422 --> 00:13:11,821 the "fucking maid." 213 00:13:12,191 --> 00:13:13,681 I'll leave you a nice tip, okay? 214 00:13:13,926 --> 00:13:15,484 - How much? - 20 bucks. 215 00:13:15,995 --> 00:13:17,758 - 80. - Okay, fine. 216 00:13:23,235 --> 00:13:24,259 She took all your cash. 217 00:13:25,137 --> 00:13:27,264 Phil Lounsberry from Hoboken. 218 00:13:27,373 --> 00:13:29,534 Please. I'm cold, you know? 219 00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:32,702 - At first, I was warm... - Let me tell you what, Phil... 220 00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:34,871 - May I call you Phil? - Yeah. 221 00:13:34,980 --> 00:13:37,312 You want your freedom. I want mine. 222 00:13:37,416 --> 00:13:39,407 I'll leave some sheets for you, right here. 223 00:13:39,518 --> 00:13:41,543 How about today you be your own maid? 224 00:13:42,221 --> 00:13:43,483 - Sound good? - Yeah. 225 00:13:43,589 --> 00:13:44,749 Don't worry about the tip. 226 00:13:56,335 --> 00:13:58,326 I admire your sauce work. 227 00:13:58,437 --> 00:14:01,201 Light, clean, artistic. I just... 228 00:14:02,074 --> 00:14:03,371 We should work on a dish together. 229 00:14:04,143 --> 00:14:06,543 Tell me, where did you train? 230 00:14:06,645 --> 00:14:10,308 God. My skills are based more on experience than formal training. 231 00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:12,147 - Fascinating. - Yeah. 232 00:14:12,251 --> 00:14:16,017 I think that cooking schools can crush the creative spirit. 233 00:14:16,121 --> 00:14:17,588 My spirit is uncrushed. 234 00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:20,215 - Where did you learn to cook? - Your mother's vagina. 235 00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:23,124 Really? Sounds very avant-garde. 236 00:14:23,229 --> 00:14:25,754 Tell me, why are you speaking to me? 237 00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:29,232 You're a dishwasher who doesn't wash dishes. 238 00:14:29,335 --> 00:14:32,930 Can you please tell me why I shouldn't fire you right now? 239 00:14:33,939 --> 00:14:35,930 Because my mother's vagina taught you how to cook. 240 00:14:37,643 --> 00:14:42,774 - You will never again speak in my kitchen. - I know. 241 00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:44,782 - Understood? - Yeah. 242 00:14:53,058 --> 00:14:54,525 Compliments of the gentleman. 243 00:15:08,540 --> 00:15:10,599 Let me guess, something in computers. 244 00:15:11,477 --> 00:15:12,444 Software? 245 00:15:13,112 --> 00:15:14,136 FBI. 246 00:15:16,415 --> 00:15:18,975 Federal Bureau of Interested in you. 247 00:15:22,821 --> 00:15:23,879 I'm sorry. 248 00:15:24,056 --> 00:15:25,717 Telling people I'm in heating and air-conditioning 249 00:15:25,824 --> 00:15:27,485 isn't exactly an aphrodisiac. 250 00:15:32,298 --> 00:15:33,993 - I'm Vince. - Nathalie. 251 00:15:35,301 --> 00:15:36,598 And what do you do, Nathalie? 252 00:15:37,836 --> 00:15:40,134 What do I do? Excellent question. 253 00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:43,834 I own my own business. A dance studio. 254 00:15:44,476 --> 00:15:45,909 Modern dance. 255 00:15:47,012 --> 00:15:49,480 - I studied in Paris and... - Paris? 256 00:15:57,790 --> 00:16:00,384 - Where were you? - Le neuvieme arrondissement. 257 00:16:02,861 --> 00:16:03,919 It was great. 258 00:16:05,164 --> 00:16:06,893 It was so great. 259 00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:10,300 - But then New York beckoned and... - And Seattle? 260 00:16:10,402 --> 00:16:11,460 Yeah. 261 00:16:13,672 --> 00:16:16,869 I get restless. And this opportunity came along, 262 00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:20,434 my own business. No one looking over my shoulder. 263 00:16:20,546 --> 00:16:22,138 - You know? - Kids? 264 00:16:22,247 --> 00:16:23,612 Yeah. What? 265 00:16:23,716 --> 00:16:25,479 - Kids? - No. 266 00:16:26,552 --> 00:16:28,543 Husband? Boyfriend? 267 00:16:30,522 --> 00:16:33,116 I have a history 268 00:16:33,792 --> 00:16:37,057 of killing anything that could conceivably work out. 269 00:16:42,935 --> 00:16:45,460 Not everything is meant to have a long shelf life. 270 00:16:45,704 --> 00:16:49,834 - No. You gotta pick the fruit while it's ripe. - I love fruit. 271 00:16:52,311 --> 00:16:54,779 Excuse me, sir. Don Kruszewski. Hotel manager. 272 00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:57,246 I just need a quick word with my employee here. Okay? 273 00:16:57,349 --> 00:16:58,907 Come. Over here. 274 00:17:02,287 --> 00:17:04,084 First off, give me that. Okay? 275 00:17:04,456 --> 00:17:06,617 The wig isn't fooling anyone, okay? 276 00:17:06,725 --> 00:17:07,749 No staff at the bar. 277 00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:09,418 I don't care if you're off the clock... Look at me. 278 00:17:09,528 --> 00:17:11,428 Go and drink down the street. Okay? 279 00:17:11,530 --> 00:17:13,862 Second, guess what. You're not off the clock yet. Okay? 280 00:17:13,966 --> 00:17:15,763 Cause one of our valued regulars, Mr. Lounsberry, 281 00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:18,701 he just called housekeeping to say that his sheets had not been changed 282 00:17:18,804 --> 00:17:19,896 and his bed had not been made. 283 00:17:20,005 --> 00:17:23,031 Get up to 612 immediately and do your job. 284 00:17:23,976 --> 00:17:25,568 While you still have it. 285 00:17:27,646 --> 00:17:29,841 Hope you're enjoying your stay. 286 00:17:53,372 --> 00:17:57,706 "Dear maid, you know I love paying women for dirty jobs. Thanks." 287 00:18:15,861 --> 00:18:18,591 He's gonna pay you to read to him? 288 00:18:19,198 --> 00:18:22,861 Yeah. I'm supposed to sit in his room and read to him 289 00:18:23,502 --> 00:18:25,026 in my underwear. 290 00:18:25,838 --> 00:18:27,635 - How much? - 50 bucks a page. 291 00:18:28,207 --> 00:18:29,435 Not bad! 292 00:18:29,575 --> 00:18:32,772 I once ate Angelo Costello's boogers for 25 cents. 293 00:18:33,078 --> 00:18:35,410 - That's disgusting. - Yeah. Exactly. 294 00:18:35,514 --> 00:18:37,505 Take off your pants. Go read to this old weirdo. 295 00:18:37,616 --> 00:18:38,810 Wear boxers. 296 00:18:39,151 --> 00:18:40,641 Preferably ones that don't gape. 297 00:18:40,752 --> 00:18:43,243 Read fast and skip paragraphs. 298 00:18:43,922 --> 00:18:45,549 It's not gay, right? 299 00:18:45,924 --> 00:18:49,018 Not if he pays you. Or if it's underwater. 300 00:18:51,196 --> 00:18:52,493 This fucking sucks. 301 00:18:52,598 --> 00:18:56,261 You never know. Might be a terrific book. You'll get lost in the narrative. 302 00:18:56,602 --> 00:18:58,593 Oh, boy. I never thought I'd be washing dishes again. 303 00:18:58,704 --> 00:19:02,162 And who puts trout almondine on a fucking menu anymore? 304 00:19:02,274 --> 00:19:04,572 It's like he's cooking for the resistance. 305 00:19:05,410 --> 00:19:08,072 - You missed a spot. - Back off, reading rainbow. 306 00:19:10,716 --> 00:19:12,980 Hey. How was your day, Nat? 307 00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:17,853 I'm no better than the whore who pees on people. 308 00:19:19,224 --> 00:19:21,784 Silas, I think Mommy has a story, too. 309 00:19:26,398 --> 00:19:28,798 I need something stronger than this. 310 00:19:30,936 --> 00:19:32,665 Hey, buddy. You're the piano player, right? 311 00:19:32,771 --> 00:19:34,966 I like what you did with She's Always A Woman in there. 312 00:19:35,307 --> 00:19:36,365 Thank you, man. Thank you. 313 00:19:36,742 --> 00:19:39,438 Hey, you should hear my Scenes From An Italian Restaurant. 314 00:19:39,711 --> 00:19:41,406 - Looking forward to it. - Yeah. 315 00:19:43,882 --> 00:19:45,713 So, you know where I could score some weed around here? 316 00:19:45,817 --> 00:19:47,842 You're shit out of luck on that one, man. 317 00:19:47,953 --> 00:19:50,979 Nigel the valet used to supply, but he's on strike. 318 00:19:51,089 --> 00:19:53,922 And the motherfucker won't sell to nobody who crosses the picket line. 319 00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:56,893 - Thanks. - Here. Have a mini-Frangelico. 320 00:20:02,434 --> 00:20:05,335 - No, no, no, no. - What? No, no! 321 00:20:06,438 --> 00:20:07,666 I'm not thinking anything. 322 00:20:08,974 --> 00:20:11,238 I'm not... I'm a maid. I love my job. 323 00:20:11,376 --> 00:20:13,742 I leave things clean and in order. 324 00:20:15,013 --> 00:20:16,640 We're the Newmans. 325 00:20:17,182 --> 00:20:18,479 It's a whole new life. 326 00:20:23,956 --> 00:20:28,552 Well, I must say, you look pretty good for having cancer. 327 00:20:29,695 --> 00:20:31,492 Well, they haven't started the chemo yet. 328 00:20:31,597 --> 00:20:33,588 So mostly I'm just kind of... 329 00:20:35,167 --> 00:20:36,896 So, to be clear, 330 00:20:37,002 --> 00:20:39,664 you don't dispense any marijuana here at all? 331 00:20:40,439 --> 00:20:42,600 All we are is a patient network. 332 00:20:43,041 --> 00:20:45,407 We connect you with a caregiver, grower. 333 00:20:45,744 --> 00:20:48,941 And then you make your own arrangements, for the medicine, marijuana. 334 00:20:49,414 --> 00:20:50,608 Great. Let's network. 335 00:20:50,949 --> 00:20:53,281 As soon as I see your doctor's authorization. 336 00:20:54,119 --> 00:20:55,245 Okay. 337 00:20:56,555 --> 00:20:59,524 He's not in the strictest sense of the word, a doctor. 338 00:20:59,625 --> 00:21:04,790 It's a more alternative treatment. Experimental stuff. 339 00:21:04,896 --> 00:21:07,364 Rules, dear. If I don't see the consent 340 00:21:07,466 --> 00:21:10,230 signed by a physician licensed in this state... 341 00:21:11,870 --> 00:21:13,963 - There it is. - What? 342 00:21:14,373 --> 00:21:15,840 In your shoes. 343 00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:19,835 Those look like my size. 344 00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:22,747 - Are you serious? - I really like shoes. 345 00:21:38,664 --> 00:21:40,962 - Hello. - Hi. Dolores sent me. 346 00:21:41,300 --> 00:21:42,528 Nathalie. 347 00:21:42,934 --> 00:21:44,128 Come in. 348 00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:51,300 Fiona! The seitan is burning! 349 00:21:53,011 --> 00:21:54,603 And save the oil! 350 00:21:55,314 --> 00:21:56,338 Fuels our van. 351 00:21:56,915 --> 00:22:00,578 Pain in the ass to collect, but Gaia thanks us. 352 00:22:00,986 --> 00:22:02,214 Go green. 353 00:22:02,888 --> 00:22:04,321 You got cash? 354 00:22:09,194 --> 00:22:14,291 I'm thinking this is a down payment with a little more product on consignment? 355 00:22:15,033 --> 00:22:17,297 Here, you get what you pay for. 356 00:22:18,737 --> 00:22:22,366 Please? As one sister to another? 357 00:22:22,474 --> 00:22:26,001 I'm really good at moving product. I could be your biggest customer. 358 00:22:26,978 --> 00:22:29,913 Except you're not my sister. And we're not wholesalers. 359 00:22:30,015 --> 00:22:32,245 We sell for personal use only. 360 00:22:43,995 --> 00:22:45,462 You don't keep your trimmings. 361 00:22:45,664 --> 00:22:47,291 We used to use them for compost. 362 00:22:47,399 --> 00:22:49,333 Turns out they are bad for the beetroot. 363 00:22:49,601 --> 00:22:52,035 Or anyone who eats the beetroot, so... 364 00:22:59,644 --> 00:23:04,081 - She's cute. How old is she? - He is five. 365 00:23:04,182 --> 00:23:06,707 Kish, you better be shooting peace rays. 366 00:23:06,818 --> 00:23:08,786 I told you we need to cut his hair. 367 00:23:09,087 --> 00:23:11,749 - Hey, he's good. - You're gonna make him a fag! 368 00:23:13,558 --> 00:23:16,322 Boys can be really violent. It's all kill, kill... 369 00:23:17,095 --> 00:23:20,292 Kish, go into the contemplation corner. 370 00:23:23,268 --> 00:23:24,235 Okay. 371 00:23:25,003 --> 00:23:27,563 So, your trimmings, you throw them away? 372 00:23:27,839 --> 00:23:30,069 Well, if we ever get our certificate from the Health Department, 373 00:23:30,175 --> 00:23:32,143 we are thinking of making edibles. 374 00:23:33,078 --> 00:23:36,878 Health Department, notorious feet-draggers. Could take years. 375 00:23:37,282 --> 00:23:38,271 I'll take them. 376 00:23:39,151 --> 00:23:41,119 Doesn't mean we're giving them away. 377 00:23:41,286 --> 00:23:44,653 I'm thinking $100 buys me a lot of trimmings. 378 00:23:54,099 --> 00:23:56,260 Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker. 379 00:24:41,112 --> 00:24:45,981 "If you want to see the inside of the spaceship, go to page 64. 380 00:24:46,084 --> 00:24:50,418 "If you decide to stay in the forest, go to page 114." 381 00:24:50,522 --> 00:24:52,012 Go inside. Go inside. 382 00:24:57,429 --> 00:25:00,592 "Your move has paid off. They welcome you in for a meal." 383 00:25:01,132 --> 00:25:03,157 - You never die. - I never what? 384 00:25:18,450 --> 00:25:20,884 I thought the Newmans were doing things differently. 385 00:25:20,986 --> 00:25:22,214 We are! 386 00:25:23,054 --> 00:25:24,749 We're making hash. 387 00:25:25,290 --> 00:25:26,518 So much for normal. 388 00:25:27,292 --> 00:25:28,554 This is our normal. 389 00:25:45,343 --> 00:25:46,401 Damn. 390 00:25:47,512 --> 00:25:50,481 How come I'm never invited to these big parties? 391 00:25:50,949 --> 00:25:53,941 You guys better not have had any strippers here! 392 00:25:54,553 --> 00:25:56,145 Jesus Christ. 393 00:25:57,222 --> 00:25:58,246 Andy! 394 00:25:58,857 --> 00:26:00,324 Silas! 395 00:26:00,525 --> 00:26:01,992 Creepy downer? 396 00:26:03,828 --> 00:26:04,954 Hello? 397 00:26:13,204 --> 00:26:15,229 Guess you guys weren't invited, either, huh?