1 00:00:09,635 --> 00:00:12,221 Selina: Jesus Beverly Christ, I'm starving. 2 00:00:12,305 --> 00:00:13,306 Do you want a juice box? 3 00:00:13,389 --> 00:00:14,557 Where was that an hour ago? 4 00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:15,683 - Ma'am. - What? 5 00:00:15,766 --> 00:00:17,685 We have a lead on a site for your library. 6 00:00:17,768 --> 00:00:19,270 Eastern shore of Maryland. 7 00:00:19,353 --> 00:00:21,915 If it was any more Kennedy-esque, it would drive you into the ocean. 8 00:00:21,939 --> 00:00:24,025 Eastern shore, very classy. 9 00:00:24,108 --> 00:00:26,903 Fittingly, I lost my back-virginity in assateague. 10 00:00:26,986 --> 00:00:28,255 I once lost my wallet in Denver. 11 00:00:28,279 --> 00:00:30,323 - We need a down payment of five mil. - Yeah. 12 00:00:30,406 --> 00:00:32,326 - Selina: Whatever. - Ma'am, tanz at two o'clock. 13 00:00:32,533 --> 00:00:33,576 - Where? - No, ma'am, 14 00:00:33,659 --> 00:00:35,262 you have a meeting with tanz at two o'clock. 15 00:00:35,286 --> 00:00:37,288 - Oh. Thank you very much, Richard. - Absolutely. 16 00:00:37,788 --> 00:00:39,540 - President meyer. President meyer. - Yes. 17 00:00:39,624 --> 00:00:41,667 Can we get a few words about the late justice tenny? 18 00:00:41,751 --> 00:00:44,420 Absolutely. He was a friend to all people, 19 00:00:44,503 --> 00:00:46,505 especially corporations, 20 00:00:46,589 --> 00:00:49,550 who he legally considered to be people. Thank you. 21 00:00:49,634 --> 00:00:52,136 Madam president, any idea who president montez is considering 22 00:00:52,220 --> 00:00:53,322 for the open supreme court seat? 23 00:00:53,346 --> 00:00:56,641 No, no, no, no, no, there is absolutely no validity to the rumor that 24 00:00:57,642 --> 00:00:59,560 the president is being considered for the seat. 25 00:00:59,852 --> 00:01:02,063 - Do you mean president meyer? - Is that even a rumor? 26 00:01:02,146 --> 00:01:04,106 At this point, that's all we can say. Bye. 27 00:01:04,190 --> 00:01:06,150 - Madam... - Mike, come on, tell us. 28 00:01:06,692 --> 00:01:08,277 What in the holy fuck was that, Mike? 29 00:01:08,361 --> 00:01:09,362 I'm so sorry, ma'am. 30 00:01:09,445 --> 00:01:11,656 I just habitually deny everything these days. 31 00:01:11,739 --> 00:01:13,259 It gets me in trouble with Wendy, too. 32 00:01:13,324 --> 00:01:15,135 The other day, I flushed a comb down the toilet. 33 00:01:15,159 --> 00:01:17,662 You know what I don't need is examples. 34 00:01:18,663 --> 00:01:19,765 I do wanna hear the end of that, though. 35 00:01:19,789 --> 00:01:22,917 No, no, no, there's absolutely no validity to this rumor that... 36 00:01:23,167 --> 00:01:25,836 Well, if you like, Jane, I can float your name out there for you. 37 00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:27,380 You think I'd make a good judge? 38 00:01:27,463 --> 00:01:28,943 You do like throwing books at people. 39 00:01:29,340 --> 00:01:33,261 When we return, more of that signature Danny egan wit. 40 00:01:33,344 --> 00:01:37,473 Plus, reading, could it be bad for your child's self-esteem? 41 00:01:37,682 --> 00:01:40,184 Why one Texas housewife wants to phase it out. 42 00:01:42,144 --> 00:01:43,271 And we are clear. 43 00:01:43,354 --> 00:01:44,772 - That was funny. - Not too far? 44 00:01:44,855 --> 00:01:46,500 No, no, I said it was funny, I meant it was funny. 45 00:01:46,524 --> 00:01:47,525 Keep it up. 46 00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:48,609 Okay, here we go. 47 00:01:48,693 --> 00:01:50,963 I thought my charm campaign was turning into a bit of a death march, 48 00:01:50,987 --> 00:01:52,822 but I think I breached her defenses. 49 00:01:52,905 --> 00:01:54,031 - Jane: Stevie. - Yeah. 50 00:01:54,115 --> 00:01:55,217 Jane: When we throw to commercial, 51 00:01:55,241 --> 00:01:58,619 I want a full fucking beaver shot with the legs, 52 00:01:58,703 --> 00:01:59,996 othennise what is the point? 53 00:02:00,246 --> 00:02:01,686 Sorry, Jane. Beave and legs, got it. 54 00:02:02,164 --> 00:02:03,183 I don't see that much of a difference. 55 00:02:03,207 --> 00:02:04,309 I mean, she pretty much likes everyone. 56 00:02:04,333 --> 00:02:05,352 Well, I need her to like me. 57 00:02:05,376 --> 00:02:06,436 Can we go easy on the bronzer, please? 58 00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:08,380 I'm starting to look like a diversity hire here. 59 00:02:08,421 --> 00:02:10,440 I mean, Jane calls the shots, and I wanna be taken seriously. 60 00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:11,608 - I get ya. - If I wanted people to think 61 00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:12,859 - that I actually still cared about them... - Sure. 62 00:02:12,883 --> 00:02:14,152 I would've stayed in fucking politics. 63 00:02:14,176 --> 00:02:15,529 Here are the notes on the kid chefs. 64 00:02:15,553 --> 00:02:16,989 I'd be careful. A couple of them have colds. 65 00:02:17,013 --> 00:02:19,181 Selina: I'm sweating my balls off here. 66 00:02:19,265 --> 00:02:21,309 - Is the air conditioning even on? - I will check. 67 00:02:21,392 --> 00:02:22,911 - Look what time it is, ma'am. - What time? 68 00:02:22,935 --> 00:02:24,729 - Memoir time. - Oh, god... 69 00:02:24,812 --> 00:02:26,981 Last time, you weren't comfortable just talking... 70 00:02:27,064 --> 00:02:28,625 - Yeah. - So I made a list of questions. 71 00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:30,234 - Oh, okay, fine. - First one. 72 00:02:30,735 --> 00:02:32,445 - As a female, do you feel that... - Pass. 73 00:02:32,528 --> 00:02:33,821 Ma'am, sherman tanz is here. 74 00:02:33,904 --> 00:02:35,740 Oh, my god. All right, get out of here, Mike. 75 00:02:35,823 --> 00:02:37,783 - Great session. - Sherman. 76 00:02:37,867 --> 00:02:40,661 - Madam pardoner. - Don't mention it. Ever. 77 00:02:42,580 --> 00:02:44,582 - Come in, take a seat. - Thanks. 78 00:02:44,832 --> 00:02:49,837 So, we have something to toast because we found property for my library. 79 00:02:50,087 --> 00:02:52,840 Oh, wonderful. You know, I'm on the board at the Nixon library. 80 00:02:52,923 --> 00:02:55,068 - Selina: Oh, good for you. - The miserable anti-semite, 81 00:02:55,092 --> 00:02:56,886 - but a great friend of Israel. - Yes. Yes. 82 00:02:56,969 --> 00:02:58,304 So, how much do you need? 83 00:02:59,096 --> 00:03:03,476 Do you know, by the way, that my father was an associate of bebe rebozo's? 84 00:03:03,559 --> 00:03:05,770 Uh-huh. You're stalling. It must be a big number. 85 00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:07,080 No, I don't want it. 86 00:03:07,104 --> 00:03:09,440 You have back trouble? You know what helps, bananas. 87 00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:10,843 - Oh, is that so? - The potassium. 88 00:03:10,900 --> 00:03:12,085 Oh, of course, yeah. That makes sense. 89 00:03:12,109 --> 00:03:13,420 It's a little ache, it's nothing. 90 00:03:13,444 --> 00:03:15,284 - If you're not using that... - Oh, absolutely. 91 00:03:15,321 --> 00:03:16,864 I never turn down a warm compress. 92 00:03:16,947 --> 00:03:19,950 - Then take it. Let's give Mr. Tanz a compress. - Sir, of course. 93 00:03:20,034 --> 00:03:21,494 Okay, good. 94 00:03:21,952 --> 00:03:23,454 What, no massage? 95 00:03:24,205 --> 00:03:25,247 Gary, massage him. 96 00:03:25,331 --> 00:03:27,208 - Mmm-mmm. - Mmm... mmm... 97 00:03:31,003 --> 00:03:33,714 I believe you were about to mention a number. 98 00:03:33,798 --> 00:03:35,174 - Yes. - Ooh. 99 00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:38,719 Just go deep. Just go deep for him, yes. 100 00:03:38,803 --> 00:03:43,182 Um, I was thinking in the ballpark of maybe five million. 101 00:03:43,265 --> 00:03:44,409 - That's a big ballpark. - Mmm-hmm. 102 00:03:44,433 --> 00:03:45,434 Thank you. 103 00:03:46,102 --> 00:03:48,562 But I think five million is swingable. 104 00:03:48,813 --> 00:03:52,817 Oh! Bless your heart and your deep pockets, sherman. 105 00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:55,069 Now, listen, if there's anything that I can ever do... 106 00:03:55,152 --> 00:03:57,113 - Sherman: Actually... - Okay, there we go. 107 00:03:57,196 --> 00:04:01,075 Madam president, because of the actions of misguided reformers, 108 00:04:01,158 --> 00:04:06,497 our prison system is in grave danger of dropping below 135% occupancy. 109 00:04:06,997 --> 00:04:09,083 Well, I think that I'm partially to blame for that 110 00:04:09,166 --> 00:04:10,543 because I let you out of one. 111 00:04:11,168 --> 00:04:15,214 Montez is pushing hard to put an end to for-profit prisons and privatization. 112 00:04:15,297 --> 00:04:16,632 - It's madness. - It's insane. 113 00:04:16,715 --> 00:04:19,718 I wanna find somebody to make sure it does not happen. 114 00:04:19,802 --> 00:04:21,071 Somebody from the hill, preferably high up. 115 00:04:21,095 --> 00:04:23,431 Yeah, we can find you a man or a woman, 116 00:04:24,014 --> 00:04:27,101 but it'll probably be a man if you wanna get anything done. 117 00:04:27,184 --> 00:04:28,769 Hang on a second. Richard? 118 00:04:28,853 --> 00:04:29,854 Amy: Yes, ma'am? 119 00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:33,065 Right, I want you to get in touch with ed mcpherson on judiciary 120 00:04:33,149 --> 00:04:35,609 - 'cause he's building an infinity pool. - On it. 121 00:04:36,193 --> 00:04:37,445 - Too late. - Okey dokey. 122 00:04:37,528 --> 00:04:39,381 Madam president, don't let me take any more of your time. 123 00:04:39,405 --> 00:04:40,590 - Okay. - It's always a pleasure. 124 00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:42,783 It's always a tonic for me to see you. 125 00:04:42,867 --> 00:04:44,493 - Keep your chin up. - Thank you. 126 00:04:45,828 --> 00:04:47,889 - What's happening? What's this? - Oh, my god. My back. 127 00:04:47,913 --> 00:04:50,708 Okay, get me a clean compress now, please. 128 00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,793 - You're not gonna believe this. - What? 129 00:04:52,877 --> 00:04:56,130 CNN just came out with their speculative list of nominees 130 00:04:56,213 --> 00:04:58,024 - for the open supreme court seat... - Selina: Yeah. 131 00:04:58,048 --> 00:05:00,509 And they have you as a long shot's long shot. 132 00:05:00,593 --> 00:05:01,969 You have gotta be kidding me. 133 00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:03,052 You're welcome. 134 00:05:03,095 --> 00:05:05,014 Gary, put CNN on right now. 135 00:05:05,097 --> 00:05:07,308 - It's CNN.Com. - Well, nobody looks at that. 136 00:05:07,391 --> 00:05:08,392 Thanks for nothing, Mike. 137 00:05:09,059 --> 00:05:10,895 God damn it, you guys, I am so hot. 138 00:05:12,771 --> 00:05:15,191 My tits feel like these hot pockets. 139 00:05:15,274 --> 00:05:16,650 Do we have any hot pockets? 140 00:05:16,734 --> 00:05:18,420 Well, ma'am, have you seen the doctor lately? 141 00:05:18,444 --> 00:05:20,362 Because maybe it's... 142 00:05:20,446 --> 00:05:23,657 Hey, don't fucking say that, okay? It's not that. 143 00:05:23,741 --> 00:05:26,869 Seriously, that is like a sexist beyond sexist reaction. 144 00:05:26,952 --> 00:05:29,497 I'm just tired, I'm uncomfortable, 145 00:05:29,580 --> 00:05:31,832 Mike's hair reminds me of Graham cracker crumbs. 146 00:05:31,916 --> 00:05:33,459 I can't get any air in here 147 00:05:33,542 --> 00:05:35,920 because all you people are in here sucking it. 148 00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:37,463 Get out. All of you, out. 149 00:05:37,546 --> 00:05:38,607 Mike: We'll hit the book later. 150 00:05:38,631 --> 00:05:39,816 Selina: Gary, where are you going? 151 00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,467 Nowhere. I'm not, I'm not. 152 00:05:41,550 --> 00:05:45,179 Good news is without the tampons, it's gonna free up some space in my bag. 153 00:05:45,596 --> 00:05:47,723 Where are you gonna put yours? 154 00:05:48,098 --> 00:05:49,266 - I'm serious. - Okay. 155 00:05:50,518 --> 00:05:53,854 Well, I do understand that, senator, but I know sherman tanz, 156 00:05:53,938 --> 00:05:55,832 perhaps in a way that you don't know sherman tanz. 157 00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:57,858 - Excuse me. - Oh, my god. 158 00:05:57,942 --> 00:06:00,861 I pardoned typhoid moishe. 159 00:06:01,904 --> 00:06:04,406 - Richard! Oh, I'm sorry. - It's all right, ma'am. 160 00:06:04,490 --> 00:06:05,550 Doctor: How's your temperature been? 161 00:06:05,574 --> 00:06:06,885 - It's hot flashy. - It's totally normal. 162 00:06:06,909 --> 00:06:08,512 Ma'am, I tried everyone on the finance committee. 163 00:06:08,536 --> 00:06:09,736 - Yeah? - And they all said no. 164 00:06:09,828 --> 00:06:12,039 - All of them? - They all said no very fast. 165 00:06:12,122 --> 00:06:14,083 You have to check this out. This is insane. 166 00:06:14,166 --> 00:06:15,268 - What is it? - With a pivotal seat in play, 167 00:06:15,292 --> 00:06:19,380 do you actually think former president, selina meyer, could be a good choice? 168 00:06:19,463 --> 00:06:20,583 Reaching across the aisle... 169 00:06:20,631 --> 00:06:22,025 Doctor: I'm gonna need normal breaths, please. 170 00:06:22,049 --> 00:06:23,217 I am breathing normally. 171 00:06:23,801 --> 00:06:26,554 Well, meyer certainly would be a super left-field choice. 172 00:06:26,637 --> 00:06:28,573 - But, what does this say about... - Super left-field? 173 00:06:28,597 --> 00:06:29,890 I mean, is that even a position? 174 00:06:29,974 --> 00:06:31,576 Mmm-hmm. That was my position in little league. 175 00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:33,060 - I was a pitcher's helper. - Oh. 176 00:06:33,143 --> 00:06:35,854 - This is insane, isn't it? - I know. It's fucking absurd. 177 00:06:35,938 --> 00:06:37,978 Well, you don't have to agree with me that strongly. 178 00:06:38,148 --> 00:06:40,568 Don't you guys have something to do for tanz? 179 00:06:40,651 --> 00:06:42,212 And if you don't find anyone in the senate, 180 00:06:42,236 --> 00:06:43,716 lift up the sewer grate to the house. 181 00:06:43,779 --> 00:06:45,114 - Madam president. - What? Oh. 182 00:06:46,156 --> 00:06:47,324 Okay. 183 00:06:47,408 --> 00:06:49,535 It's menopause? Just get it over with. 184 00:06:49,618 --> 00:06:52,955 Write me a prescription for Eileen Fisher, and Fosamax, and lube. 185 00:06:53,414 --> 00:06:56,500 It's a common mistake among women with the sweating and back pain at your age. 186 00:06:56,584 --> 00:06:57,585 Careful. 187 00:06:58,168 --> 00:06:59,169 Could you please just go 188 00:06:59,253 --> 00:07:01,589 and pack everything up for me in that other room? Go. 189 00:07:02,047 --> 00:07:03,924 - Bye, Gary. - Boy. 190 00:07:04,008 --> 00:07:06,635 I suspect this may be myocardial ischemia. 191 00:07:06,719 --> 00:07:08,929 It's a lack of oxygen to the heart muscle. 192 00:07:09,013 --> 00:07:11,682 It's usually caused by a partial arterial blockage. 193 00:07:12,850 --> 00:07:15,269 What, I'm so... What? What are you telling me? 194 00:07:15,352 --> 00:07:16,832 I think you had a small heart attack. 195 00:07:18,188 --> 00:07:19,857 - A heart attack? - Yes, ma'am. 196 00:07:22,318 --> 00:07:24,236 So, I'm not menopausal? 197 00:07:24,361 --> 00:07:26,405 Well, no, but this is far more serious. 198 00:07:27,281 --> 00:07:29,366 Well, hand me a cracker and spread it up with 199 00:07:29,450 --> 00:07:31,118 I can't believe it's not menopause. 200 00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:32,262 We need to get you to a hospital. 201 00:07:32,286 --> 00:07:34,705 You wanna knock me up, doc? Just 'cause I can do it. 202 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:36,308 Ma'am, time is of the essence here. 203 00:07:36,332 --> 00:07:38,208 It's just a heart attack. Gary... 204 00:07:39,585 --> 00:07:41,170 - Jesus. - What is that? 205 00:07:41,545 --> 00:07:43,589 Catherine: Maybe my uterus is just wonky. 206 00:07:43,672 --> 00:07:46,050 No, Catherine. It's porcelain and perfect. 207 00:07:51,847 --> 00:07:53,140 Know what I like about you two? 208 00:07:53,849 --> 00:07:55,017 It's not clear who's the top. 209 00:07:55,392 --> 00:07:57,561 - I am. - Oh. Yeah. 210 00:07:58,145 --> 00:07:59,521 Maybe we're just doing this wrong. 211 00:07:59,605 --> 00:08:01,523 I mean, all these tubes and jars. 212 00:08:01,607 --> 00:08:03,150 It just... it doesn't feel organic. 213 00:08:03,901 --> 00:08:06,445 Well, we could streamline the process. 214 00:08:06,737 --> 00:08:09,281 You could have direct sexual intercourse with the donor. 215 00:08:10,199 --> 00:08:11,784 - Really? - That's interesting. 216 00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:14,620 I mean, I guess, if you think that that would work. 217 00:08:15,037 --> 00:08:16,246 I'm willing to try anything. 218 00:08:16,622 --> 00:08:18,582 Why don't we just puppy pile, okay? 219 00:08:18,957 --> 00:08:21,293 Then we'll all get a bite to eat aftennards, you know. 220 00:08:21,377 --> 00:08:23,537 See a movie or something. You know, we'll make it nice. 221 00:08:23,962 --> 00:08:25,482 - It could be interesting. - Dan: Yeah. 222 00:08:26,340 --> 00:08:28,634 - He does have very delicate features. - Thank you. 223 00:08:28,717 --> 00:08:29,968 - Mr. Egan? - Yes. Hi. 224 00:08:30,052 --> 00:08:32,530 Is it okay with you to discuss the results all together or would you... 225 00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:34,682 Sure, whatever. I'm just the cream filling 226 00:08:34,765 --> 00:08:35,933 in this gay-Clair. 227 00:08:37,643 --> 00:08:39,269 Well, your sperm count looks normal, 228 00:08:39,353 --> 00:08:41,772 but the motility is abnormally low 229 00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:43,524 which means, I'm sorry to say, 230 00:08:43,607 --> 00:08:46,610 it may be virtually impossible for you to conceive. 231 00:08:47,695 --> 00:08:49,530 - Seriously? - I'm so sorry, Dan. 232 00:08:49,613 --> 00:08:51,773 So, I've been pulling out this entire time for nothing? 233 00:08:52,449 --> 00:08:54,118 - Well, that has nothing... - Oh. 234 00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:56,662 I am gonna save a fortune on morning-after pills. 235 00:08:56,745 --> 00:08:59,331 There are, like, three girls that owe me an abortion refund. 236 00:08:59,415 --> 00:09:02,751 Ladies, I am Danny egan, and I will see you in the tomorrow. 237 00:09:04,378 --> 00:09:05,754 Doctor, can you give us a minute? 238 00:09:06,797 --> 00:09:07,798 Certainly. 239 00:09:08,841 --> 00:09:09,901 Marjorie, I really think... 240 00:09:09,925 --> 00:09:11,802 Your mother had a heart attack in DC. 241 00:09:16,849 --> 00:09:19,685 Oh, my god, I can't believe I just did that. 242 00:09:20,185 --> 00:09:22,354 Um... uh... 243 00:09:22,730 --> 00:09:25,816 So, we should go to Washington probably, I guess. 244 00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:27,234 I guess. 245 00:09:32,573 --> 00:09:34,158 - Did I die? - Here we go again. 246 00:09:34,658 --> 00:09:35,659 Is this heaven? 247 00:09:35,743 --> 00:09:38,078 Yeah, he keeps waking up and asking that. 248 00:09:38,328 --> 00:09:41,165 You had a heart attack, Gary. 249 00:09:41,790 --> 00:09:44,668 - For the third freaking time. - Oh, Jesus. 250 00:09:44,752 --> 00:09:45,812 - Nurse: Madam president? - Yes? 251 00:09:45,836 --> 00:09:47,129 You should really lie down. 252 00:09:47,212 --> 00:09:49,149 - Oh, I, you know... - What happened, what happened? 253 00:09:49,173 --> 00:09:50,340 You had a heart attack, too? 254 00:09:50,424 --> 00:09:52,342 No, I had a heart episode 255 00:09:52,426 --> 00:09:55,345 and they're just gonna pop a stent in there just for fun, and it's... 256 00:09:55,429 --> 00:09:56,805 - Here you go. - Thank you so much. 257 00:09:56,889 --> 00:09:59,641 Thank you so much. Can we get something for Mr. Walsh, please? 258 00:09:59,725 --> 00:10:02,770 Because he's the one who's really ailing and at death's door. 259 00:10:02,853 --> 00:10:04,622 - I am? I'm at death's door? - Nurse: Yes, madam president. 260 00:10:04,646 --> 00:10:06,315 - Well... - I'm at death's door? 261 00:10:06,774 --> 00:10:08,752 - Listen, if I don't make it... - Gary, you're gonna be fine. 262 00:10:08,776 --> 00:10:10,277 You have plenty to live for, too. 263 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:11,779 - I do? - Of course. 264 00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:14,615 Just think, next year, 265 00:10:14,698 --> 00:10:17,201 you get to go to my library opening. 266 00:10:17,284 --> 00:10:18,911 And you get to buy my book. 267 00:10:18,994 --> 00:10:20,788 Can't you just give me a copy? 268 00:10:21,246 --> 00:10:23,707 Selina: Well, I can't be giving out free copies of the book 269 00:10:23,791 --> 00:10:25,852 'cause think of the position that that would put me in. 270 00:10:25,876 --> 00:10:27,316 Gary: I'm sorry. Selina: That's okay. 271 00:10:27,544 --> 00:10:31,215 - And you're gonna have a birthday next, um... - August. 272 00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:32,966 August. 273 00:10:33,050 --> 00:10:35,010 Good for you. That's right. And you're gonna be... 274 00:10:36,470 --> 00:10:37,554 You remembered. 275 00:10:38,055 --> 00:10:39,765 You're only 40? 276 00:10:41,725 --> 00:10:42,768 I'm gonna have a party. 277 00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:44,728 - Oh, really? - In Alabama. 278 00:10:45,270 --> 00:10:46,313 Alabama. 279 00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:47,564 If I make it, will you come? 280 00:10:48,190 --> 00:10:49,191 Mmm... 281 00:10:49,691 --> 00:10:52,152 Yes. I will come. 282 00:10:52,236 --> 00:10:53,320 - Madam president. - Yes? 283 00:10:53,403 --> 00:10:54,988 Ron addis, head of cardiology. 284 00:10:55,072 --> 00:10:56,907 Oh, head of cardiology for him? 285 00:10:57,241 --> 00:10:58,826 No, ma'am. I'll be placing your stent. 286 00:10:58,909 --> 00:11:01,495 Okay, thank god. Yeah, let's get that done 287 00:11:02,746 --> 00:11:03,747 as soon as we can. 288 00:11:04,122 --> 00:11:06,291 Mmm. Yeah, good. Thank you. 289 00:11:06,625 --> 00:11:10,462 Okay, if anybody asks, you just say I'm in a routine closed-door meeting, okay? 290 00:11:10,546 --> 00:11:11,564 - Absolutely. - Yes, ma'am. 291 00:11:11,588 --> 00:11:13,066 And if they're wondering why I'm at the hospital, 292 00:11:13,090 --> 00:11:16,468 you just put that on Gary, 'cause he had a massive heart attack, luckily. 293 00:11:16,552 --> 00:11:18,071 - He's good, though, right? - Yes, ma'am. 294 00:11:18,095 --> 00:11:20,281 'Cause I don't know the alarm code to get back into my house. 295 00:11:20,305 --> 00:11:22,140 Marjorie and Catherine are on their way. 296 00:11:22,224 --> 00:11:24,784 - Ugh. Just tell them I'm in a meeting, too. - All right, got it. 297 00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:26,353 No photos! 298 00:11:26,687 --> 00:11:28,230 I was accessing her medical history. 299 00:11:28,313 --> 00:11:30,065 Ma'am, sherman tanz called again. 300 00:11:30,148 --> 00:11:31,775 Oh, god. Where are we with that? 301 00:11:31,859 --> 00:11:33,944 - All nos. - Yeah, just like his face. 302 00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:35,707 We need to give him a name or we lose him. 303 00:11:35,863 --> 00:11:38,156 - All righty, time to go. - Selina: Okay. 304 00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:40,617 Just give him that whale dong Jonah, my god. 305 00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:42,703 - Good luck. - I'm fine. 306 00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:45,122 - Get well soon. - Thank you so much, Richard. 307 00:11:46,290 --> 00:11:47,457 Hey, I have... 308 00:11:49,418 --> 00:11:51,295 You can just... just close that, okay? 309 00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:52,838 She never stops talking. 310 00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:55,507 No! No, no, no. That's not what I want... 311 00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:57,050 She didn't even... 312 00:11:59,636 --> 00:12:01,889 - What are you doing? No. - I'm calling Jonah. 313 00:12:01,972 --> 00:12:03,015 Jonah: Well, well, well. 314 00:12:03,098 --> 00:12:04,558 If it isn't the prodigal traitor 315 00:12:04,641 --> 00:12:07,477 come back home to suck on my giant congressional ball. 316 00:12:07,978 --> 00:12:09,104 No, it's Richard splett. 317 00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:11,359 I'm calling on behalf of president selina meyer. 318 00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:12,834 You remember her, she's the former... 319 00:12:12,858 --> 00:12:14,738 Hold on. I have a more important call coming in. 320 00:12:14,776 --> 00:12:15,777 Oh, okay. 321 00:12:17,279 --> 00:12:20,282 Well, well, well. If it isn't the prodigal ex-girlfriend 322 00:12:20,365 --> 00:12:22,075 come home to suck on my giant... 323 00:12:22,159 --> 00:12:24,286 Listen, jizz clot, I can't believe I'm saying this, 324 00:12:24,369 --> 00:12:26,330 but you're gonna have a meeting with sherman tanz. 325 00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:28,016 Is this the same thing that Richard's calling about? 326 00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:29,333 No idea. Just stay on with me. 327 00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:32,169 This is your chance to get back in president meyer's good graces. 328 00:12:32,377 --> 00:12:34,671 Hey. Who is sherman tanz? 329 00:12:35,505 --> 00:12:37,591 Private prison and payday lending magnate, 330 00:12:37,674 --> 00:12:41,011 Israel hyper-enthusiast, billionaire, convicted of tax fraud. 331 00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:43,072 Yeah, when people think about what's wrong in Washington, 332 00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:44,806 they think of him and you. 333 00:12:45,474 --> 00:12:47,434 Association with tanz spells disaster. 334 00:12:47,517 --> 00:12:48,717 So, I shouldn't meet with him? 335 00:12:50,562 --> 00:12:53,357 Well, for you, congressman, disaster would be a step up. 336 00:12:54,483 --> 00:12:56,193 Are you asking Ben and Kent who he is? 337 00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:58,528 No. He's a prison magnate. 338 00:12:59,696 --> 00:13:00,697 Richard: Hello? 339 00:13:01,239 --> 00:13:02,449 Someone has call waiting. 340 00:13:02,991 --> 00:13:04,135 - This is splett. - Dan: Hey, buddy. 341 00:13:04,159 --> 00:13:06,703 Help me out with this selina Ross and the supremes insanity. 342 00:13:06,787 --> 00:13:09,873 Apparently, someone saw president meyer's name on mcpherson's call sheet, 343 00:13:09,957 --> 00:13:11,559 and he's the chair of the judiciary committee. 344 00:13:11,583 --> 00:13:13,686 I'm sorry, could you repeat everything after "hey, buddy"? 345 00:13:13,710 --> 00:13:14,771 Oh, shit, hold on one sec. Jane. 346 00:13:14,795 --> 00:13:16,689 - Jane: Yeah? - Chocolate chip walnut cookies from levain. 347 00:13:16,713 --> 00:13:18,340 Dan: Mmm-hmm. 348 00:13:18,423 --> 00:13:20,801 You're lucky I have such a great ass. 349 00:13:21,885 --> 00:13:23,571 All right, so tell me, is there any truth at all to this? 350 00:13:23,595 --> 00:13:26,556 All I can tell you is that president meyer is in a closed-door meeting. 351 00:13:26,890 --> 00:13:28,684 Wait, so this supreme court shit's real? 352 00:13:28,767 --> 00:13:33,188 All I can tell you is president meyer is in a closed-door... 353 00:13:34,022 --> 00:13:35,023 Hello? 354 00:13:36,525 --> 00:13:38,068 I better get back to Mr. Ryan. 355 00:13:42,739 --> 00:13:45,492 Hey, guys, I have insider confirmation that 356 00:13:45,575 --> 00:13:48,453 selina meyer is being considered for the open supreme court seat. 357 00:13:48,537 --> 00:13:49,997 To what, reupholster it? 358 00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:51,975 Write it up real quick, and then, Jane, you can lead with it. 359 00:13:51,999 --> 00:13:54,668 Actually, I think Danny should run with it. 360 00:13:54,751 --> 00:13:56,336 It's his source, it's his story. 361 00:13:56,420 --> 00:13:58,714 - Really? - But I will take the zoo animal segment. 362 00:13:58,797 --> 00:14:00,066 - Professor parrot, yes. - Jane: Uh-huh. 363 00:14:00,090 --> 00:14:01,234 Jane, are you sure? This is huge. 364 00:14:01,258 --> 00:14:02,884 If I am speaking, I am sure. 365 00:14:03,427 --> 00:14:05,067 Sorry, Jane. Of course you're sure. Okay. 366 00:14:05,095 --> 00:14:06,972 Danny is my man. 367 00:14:07,973 --> 00:14:10,017 - Jane, thank you. - Mmm. 368 00:14:12,227 --> 00:14:14,354 Oh, also, can we do something about my makeup girl, 369 00:14:14,438 --> 00:14:16,356 and her hinckley-esque obsession with bronzer? 370 00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:18,418 She's not going anywhere. She's the head makeup artist's niece. 371 00:14:18,442 --> 00:14:20,628 I'm starting to look like I should be auditioning for a telenovela. 372 00:14:20,652 --> 00:14:22,772 Why don't you talk to Jane? You're her man. 373 00:14:23,113 --> 00:14:24,114 Yeah, right. 374 00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:25,425 Which is actually great because I have this 375 00:14:25,449 --> 00:14:27,089 really killer piece I wanna do on Rwanda. 376 00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:38,962 - Hi. What is my password for my phone? - Hello, ma'am. 377 00:14:39,046 --> 00:14:40,086 - Hi! - I'll do it for you. 378 00:14:40,130 --> 00:14:41,190 - Gary... - How are you feeling? 379 00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:42,424 Oh, honey. 380 00:14:42,632 --> 00:14:45,052 You got me some bodega flowers? 381 00:14:45,135 --> 00:14:47,554 They're actually from a very expensive boutique. 382 00:14:47,637 --> 00:14:49,890 Oh, okay, well, I like them, wherever they're from. 383 00:14:49,973 --> 00:14:51,117 We can just give them to Gary. 384 00:14:51,141 --> 00:14:52,559 Aw, thank you. 385 00:14:52,642 --> 00:14:54,122 - Ma'am, more court questions. - Yeah. 386 00:14:54,186 --> 00:14:55,621 - Ma'am, this is getting silly. - Really. I know. 387 00:14:55,645 --> 00:14:58,899 Montez is not gonna name someone from the opposite party to the supreme court. 388 00:14:58,982 --> 00:15:02,069 - We need to all just chill out, and... - Montez is on TV. 389 00:15:02,152 --> 00:15:05,155 I can't comment on the nomination process. 390 00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:09,076 However, I remain committed to reaching across the aisle. 391 00:15:09,159 --> 00:15:10,702 Fuck my ears. 392 00:15:10,786 --> 00:15:12,704 She just said reaching across the aisle. 393 00:15:12,788 --> 00:15:15,123 Ooh. That montez is a Latin piece of ass. 394 00:15:15,207 --> 00:15:16,249 Okay, he's hallucinating. 395 00:15:16,333 --> 00:15:17,793 Come here, come here, come out here. 396 00:15:18,752 --> 00:15:20,837 What is going on here? What is our next move? 397 00:15:20,962 --> 00:15:24,299 Ma'am, senator hallowes from judiciary wants to set a meeting to pre-vet. 398 00:15:24,382 --> 00:15:27,094 No. This means I'm on the shortlist? 399 00:15:27,177 --> 00:15:28,929 What? I'm on the shortlist. 400 00:15:29,012 --> 00:15:31,431 Peek-a-boo, peek-a-boo. 401 00:15:31,515 --> 00:15:34,235 Madam president, may I say, from one vet to another, congratulations. 402 00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:38,730 Oh, god, this is the second act that selina meyer finally deserves. 403 00:15:38,814 --> 00:15:40,023 And we gotta play this smart. 404 00:15:40,107 --> 00:15:42,359 - Madam president. - Hello. How are you? 405 00:15:42,859 --> 00:15:44,027 - Gary Walsh? - Yeah. 406 00:15:44,111 --> 00:15:47,489 - If you will just sign here, please. - Yas, queen. 407 00:15:47,572 --> 00:15:50,333 We'll go over your discharge plans, your after care, your medications. 408 00:15:50,367 --> 00:15:51,451 Okay. 409 00:15:52,035 --> 00:15:53,870 - Um, Gary? - Gary: Hmm? 410 00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:57,290 Do you have someone at home who can take care of you? 411 00:15:57,374 --> 00:16:00,836 Yes, my roommates, stashelle, lark and boosh. 412 00:16:00,919 --> 00:16:02,170 You have three roommates? 413 00:16:02,254 --> 00:16:04,297 We share a studio in hoboken. 414 00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:07,551 Your mom doesn't think you're pretty, but I think you're stunning. 415 00:16:08,718 --> 00:16:09,761 Thank you. 416 00:16:09,845 --> 00:16:11,304 This isn't unprecedented either 417 00:16:11,388 --> 00:16:14,474 because president taft was on the supreme court after he was president. 418 00:16:14,558 --> 00:16:16,369 Yeah, and what's the first thing you remember about him? 419 00:16:16,393 --> 00:16:17,537 - Right. - He got stuck in a bathtub? 420 00:16:17,561 --> 00:16:19,497 No, well, the second thing you remember about him. 421 00:16:19,521 --> 00:16:21,582 - He was buried in a piano case. - No, that's not right. 422 00:16:21,606 --> 00:16:22,899 - Mom? - What? 423 00:16:22,983 --> 00:16:25,543 Gary's gonna stay with us in the brownstone until he gets better. 424 00:16:25,569 --> 00:16:27,445 Okay, what's happening right now? 425 00:16:28,613 --> 00:16:32,409 Go call hallowes and tell her selina will meet with her next Monday. 426 00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:33,772 Sir, your hallowes impression... 427 00:16:33,827 --> 00:16:35,107 - It's spot-on. - It's hilarious. 428 00:16:35,412 --> 00:16:37,497 Ooh. Monday, it's the day after daylight saving time. 429 00:16:37,581 --> 00:16:38,891 It's my favorite holiday 'cause it's like living in 430 00:16:38,915 --> 00:16:40,101 a tiny version of back to the future. 431 00:16:40,125 --> 00:16:42,335 He can't go all the way back to hoboken. 432 00:16:42,419 --> 00:16:43,962 - Hi. - New Jersey? 433 00:16:44,045 --> 00:16:45,606 What are you talking about? You live in New Jersey? 434 00:16:45,630 --> 00:16:46,941 You're at the brownstone by 6:00. 435 00:16:46,965 --> 00:16:50,177 I leave a little after 4:00, I catch the 4:28 path... 436 00:16:50,260 --> 00:16:51,737 - Okay. Well, I don't... - Then I take the f to the 6, 437 00:16:51,761 --> 00:16:54,764 and then I do a quick jaunt, and I'm there in time to steep the tea... 438 00:16:54,848 --> 00:16:56,141 - Mom. - What? 439 00:16:57,058 --> 00:16:58,185 Oh, my god, fine. 440 00:16:58,268 --> 00:16:59,954 Put him in the basement. I don't give a shit. 441 00:16:59,978 --> 00:17:01,354 Fine, basement. Who gives a shit? 442 00:17:01,438 --> 00:17:02,915 - I'm on the shortlist. - Love the basement. 443 00:17:02,939 --> 00:17:04,774 What is my password? 444 00:17:05,775 --> 00:17:06,902 Okay. 445 00:17:08,445 --> 00:17:11,698 Give my regards to everybody on the judiciary committee. 446 00:17:11,781 --> 00:17:13,867 Of course, madam president. Be well. 447 00:17:13,950 --> 00:17:15,368 Oh, I'm well. I'm weller than well. 448 00:17:15,452 --> 00:17:16,536 And I love your scarf. 449 00:17:16,620 --> 00:17:18,413 - Eileen Fisher. - Oh, so chic. 450 00:17:18,496 --> 00:17:20,040 - Bye-bye. - Bye-bye. 451 00:17:20,665 --> 00:17:24,377 I feel like my chest has been trampled in a puerto rican nightclub fire. 452 00:17:24,461 --> 00:17:27,505 It's like I'm breathing through a tiny straw, you know? 453 00:17:27,589 --> 00:17:28,798 Oh, a straw. 454 00:17:28,882 --> 00:17:31,259 - Yeah, I want a water with a straw. - Uh-huh. 455 00:17:31,343 --> 00:17:32,862 - So, that went well. - Amy: That went really well. 456 00:17:32,886 --> 00:17:34,304 Ma'am, sherman tanz called. 457 00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:37,307 Well, tell sherman tanz I don't need a library anymore. 458 00:17:37,724 --> 00:17:39,952 - Well, ma'am, I'm sure it'll be fun. - No, a library is good for you. 459 00:17:39,976 --> 00:17:42,145 No, my legacy, guys, is me in a robe, 460 00:17:42,229 --> 00:17:45,649 taking guns from this guy, giving the death penalty to that guy. 461 00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:49,194 And they can't vote me out, right? It's for life. 462 00:17:49,277 --> 00:17:53,615 They're gonna have to carry me out of there with the gavel clenched in my cold, dead twat. 463 00:17:53,907 --> 00:17:57,244 Oh, Gary, I need you to move all of these law review boxes. 464 00:17:57,327 --> 00:17:58,387 - Gary: Love to, yeah. - Ow. 465 00:17:58,411 --> 00:18:00,747 See, now it hurts for me to point. 466 00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:03,390 That muscle's called the brachioradialis. At least it is in cats. 467 00:18:03,458 --> 00:18:05,298 Do you want me to get you some arnica ointment? 468 00:18:05,335 --> 00:18:06,378 Yeah, that would be good. 469 00:18:06,461 --> 00:18:07,701 - And for the vetting... - Yeah. 470 00:18:07,754 --> 00:18:09,440 The judiciary committee has asked to send them 471 00:18:09,464 --> 00:18:11,317 everything that you've ever written on abortion. 472 00:18:11,341 --> 00:18:15,220 Well, I can give them my actual abortion if I could find it lying around here somewhere. 473 00:18:15,303 --> 00:18:16,346 I'll check the freezer. 474 00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:20,267 Ma'am, picked by the supreme court. I mean, that's a twist ending to the book. 475 00:18:20,350 --> 00:18:23,311 I know, although, you know what, if I'm going to be a supreme, 476 00:18:23,395 --> 00:18:25,315 I don't really think we need to finish this book. 477 00:18:25,563 --> 00:18:27,440 Oh, we do. We do, ma'am. 478 00:18:27,524 --> 00:18:29,109 Oh, no, it isn't upstairs. 479 00:18:29,192 --> 00:18:31,403 Gary, it's in the bathroom off of the kitchen. 480 00:18:31,486 --> 00:18:32,486 Of course. Yeah, sure. 481 00:18:32,529 --> 00:18:34,966 Everybody reads. Now, ma'am, we can get this book done so fast. 482 00:18:34,990 --> 00:18:36,217 Not at the rate you guys are going now. 483 00:18:36,241 --> 00:18:38,010 - It's in the bathroom upstairs. - What's in the bathroom? 484 00:18:38,034 --> 00:18:39,053 - Yeah. - At the rate you're going. 485 00:18:39,077 --> 00:18:41,204 Just forget that for right now, okay? 486 00:18:41,288 --> 00:18:42,289 Give that a break. 487 00:18:43,540 --> 00:18:44,582 Oh, my god. 488 00:18:44,666 --> 00:18:48,420 Whoo! I'm sorry, mama. Bunny's late for middle school. 489 00:18:49,170 --> 00:18:50,380 I'll see you later. 490 00:18:50,755 --> 00:18:51,881 Uh, Gary? 491 00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:54,384 Okay, okay, okay. 492 00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:56,261 Do you know where my water with the straw is? 493 00:18:56,344 --> 00:18:57,345 Mike: Gary? 494 00:18:58,138 --> 00:18:59,472 Jonah: Good morning, team Ryan. 495 00:18:59,556 --> 00:19:01,474 Tell me what gets this tanz guy's dick hard. 496 00:19:01,558 --> 00:19:03,101 Being on time, congressman dacha... 497 00:19:03,184 --> 00:19:04,184 You're an hour late. 498 00:19:04,227 --> 00:19:06,107 He's been sitting in your office the whole time. 499 00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:07,939 - 10:00 am. - Was an hour ago. 500 00:19:08,023 --> 00:19:09,357 Fifty-eight minutes. 501 00:19:09,441 --> 00:19:12,319 Do I need to timesplain clock-reading to you two? 502 00:19:12,569 --> 00:19:16,656 The big hand points to the noon, and the little hand points to the... 503 00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:19,159 Well, fuck, it's the... 504 00:19:19,242 --> 00:19:20,243 God, it's 10:00 am. 505 00:19:20,327 --> 00:19:22,162 You didn't set your watch fonnard. 506 00:19:22,245 --> 00:19:23,347 Happy daylight savings time. 507 00:19:23,371 --> 00:19:24,581 - Saving. - Whatever. 508 00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:26,207 Shit, daylight savings time is today? 509 00:19:26,291 --> 00:19:27,917 Saving, and it started yesterday. 510 00:19:28,001 --> 00:19:30,670 Okay, well, there is literally no way that I could've known that. 511 00:19:31,921 --> 00:19:33,923 - Hello, sir. - Fifty-nine minutes. 512 00:19:34,007 --> 00:19:35,359 That's how long I've been sitting here 513 00:19:35,383 --> 00:19:37,028 waiting for a man that nobody should wait for. 514 00:19:37,052 --> 00:19:39,405 - Sir, I'm so sorry. My senior staff... - Sherman: Never apologize. 515 00:19:39,429 --> 00:19:42,015 Sorry betrays a weak spirit. Have a seat, congressman. 516 00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:44,684 Okay, but you're in, uh... 517 00:19:47,979 --> 00:19:50,440 - Fine. - Nice of you to fit me into your busy schedule. 518 00:19:50,815 --> 00:19:51,876 Okay, see, when you say that, 519 00:19:51,900 --> 00:19:53,902 it makes me think that I should be apologizing. 520 00:19:53,985 --> 00:19:57,238 Don't worry, I like to judge a man by looking him right in the eyes. 521 00:19:58,114 --> 00:19:59,157 Okay. 522 00:20:04,079 --> 00:20:06,373 Are you gonna make a campaign contribution or what? 523 00:20:06,456 --> 00:20:08,625 You know what, I am. 524 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:10,543 Getting paid, getting laid, son. 525 00:20:12,253 --> 00:20:14,798 Congressman Jonah Ryan. 526 00:20:14,881 --> 00:20:15,882 R-y-a-n. 527 00:20:15,965 --> 00:20:19,427 Zero dollars and one cent. 528 00:20:19,969 --> 00:20:22,597 Did you have a stroke, you weird-ass old man? 529 00:20:22,972 --> 00:20:25,725 You stuck around here for an hour just to be a dick? 530 00:20:25,809 --> 00:20:26,893 I did. 531 00:20:27,143 --> 00:20:28,186 You didn't even sign this. 532 00:20:28,686 --> 00:20:30,146 Maybe you should've apologized. 533 00:20:30,230 --> 00:20:31,731 You told me not to! 534 00:20:32,190 --> 00:20:33,441 Ding-dong. 535 00:20:33,691 --> 00:20:35,151 - Dinner is served. - Gary: What? 536 00:20:35,235 --> 00:20:37,362 You should not be in the maid's quarters. 537 00:20:37,445 --> 00:20:38,905 - I know. - Let me help, let me help. 538 00:20:38,988 --> 00:20:40,828 - No, no, no, Gary, sit. - No, no, no, you sit. 539 00:20:40,907 --> 00:20:41,950 No, Gary, sit. 540 00:20:42,492 --> 00:20:43,827 All right, let's both sit. 541 00:20:43,910 --> 00:20:45,620 Lookie iooksters. 542 00:20:45,703 --> 00:20:48,081 - Oh, my gosh. - Yeah. 543 00:20:48,164 --> 00:20:50,166 - This looks delicious. What is it? - Good. 544 00:20:50,625 --> 00:20:53,336 I cut up a chicken sandwich and I put it into pasta. 545 00:20:53,837 --> 00:20:55,004 What? 546 00:20:55,588 --> 00:20:58,716 Is this the chicken sandwich that was in the fridge before the hospital? 547 00:20:59,676 --> 00:21:00,969 Wow. 548 00:21:01,052 --> 00:21:03,596 And you left the bun on it when you cut it. 549 00:21:05,974 --> 00:21:07,827 Well, you don't have to finish it, if you don't think it's... 550 00:21:07,851 --> 00:21:11,521 No, no, no, I can't wait to swirl my fork in there and get in. 551 00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:13,148 Let me see. 552 00:21:13,231 --> 00:21:15,316 Mmm. 553 00:21:16,693 --> 00:21:18,445 Smells sort of funky, though, no? 554 00:21:19,112 --> 00:21:20,405 It's the blue cheese. 555 00:21:21,239 --> 00:21:23,283 No, but there isn't any blue cheese in it. 556 00:21:25,785 --> 00:21:27,537 You must be 557 00:21:29,038 --> 00:21:30,373 starving, yourself, though. 558 00:21:30,457 --> 00:21:31,833 - Oh, no, I ate. - You did? 559 00:21:31,916 --> 00:21:36,129 Yeah, a chef made me some grilled salmon and some asparagus with a béarnaise sauce. 560 00:21:36,212 --> 00:21:38,798 - It was heavenly. It was really delicious. - Okay. 561 00:21:38,882 --> 00:21:40,568 I mean, I couldn't finish it. I just threw the rest out. 562 00:21:40,592 --> 00:21:41,843 - You did? Okay. - Mmm-hmm. 563 00:21:41,926 --> 00:21:43,094 Where is your water? 564 00:21:43,928 --> 00:21:46,806 I don't have any. There's just bottles in the kitchen. 565 00:21:49,684 --> 00:21:51,144 - Yeah, I'll go. - No, no, no, hlgo. 566 00:21:51,227 --> 00:21:52,812 No, no, no, I'm gonna go, really. 567 00:21:52,896 --> 00:21:55,023 Okay? I just wanna wait a minute. 568 00:21:55,106 --> 00:21:56,816 Okay. That's really sweet. 569 00:21:59,944 --> 00:22:02,655 We've got full queen and king pillow top sets for $599, 570 00:22:02,739 --> 00:22:04,259 and a king memory foam... 571 00:22:04,532 --> 00:22:09,621 Apparently, the state senator was against gay marriage and paying his gay escort. 572 00:22:10,413 --> 00:22:11,414 We'll be right back. 573 00:22:11,915 --> 00:22:13,583 And we're clear. Great. 574 00:22:13,917 --> 00:22:16,252 No. Unless it's an eraser, go away. I don't want it. 575 00:22:16,336 --> 00:22:18,546 Danny, I saw that piece that you did on Rwanda. 576 00:22:18,630 --> 00:22:19,982 - It's very powerful. - You did? Fantastic. 577 00:22:20,006 --> 00:22:21,066 - Yeah. - I'm so glad you like it. 578 00:22:21,090 --> 00:22:23,170 - Oh, you know what? Real quick. - A lot of research. 579 00:22:23,218 --> 00:22:24,778 - Very powerful. - You gotta try one of these. 580 00:22:24,802 --> 00:22:26,262 Just say yes. 581 00:22:26,888 --> 00:22:28,223 You will be the death of me. 582 00:22:30,975 --> 00:22:32,018 Cookie? 583 00:22:32,101 --> 00:22:34,701 Is that what she calls you when she puts her penis in your vagina? 584 00:22:35,104 --> 00:22:36,981 What? Wait, what are you talking about? 585 00:22:37,065 --> 00:22:39,084 We all know about you and Jane. You guys are together. 586 00:22:39,108 --> 00:22:41,378 Come on, I haven't slept with a woman over 30 since I was 14, 587 00:22:41,402 --> 00:22:42,796 and that's 'cause I needed the grade. 588 00:22:42,820 --> 00:22:44,280 Bronzina's fired. You're welcome. 589 00:22:45,114 --> 00:22:46,449 You're so tapping that. 590 00:23:39,085 --> 00:23:40,145 Ben: Where have you been? Jonah: Why? 591 00:23:40,169 --> 00:23:41,647 Did I miss the French toast dippy things? 592 00:23:41,671 --> 00:23:43,591 - You're two hours late. - No, that's impossible. 593 00:23:43,673 --> 00:23:45,401 I set my watch back for daylight savings time. 594 00:23:45,425 --> 00:23:46,426 Saving, not savings. 595 00:23:46,509 --> 00:23:47,885 You set your watch the wrong way. 596 00:23:47,969 --> 00:23:49,530 It's neither a plural, nor a possessive. 597 00:23:49,554 --> 00:23:51,556 No, it's spring. I springed backwards. 598 00:23:51,639 --> 00:23:52,765 No, you spring fon/vard. 599 00:23:52,849 --> 00:23:55,476 Have ever watched girls' gymnastics? That makes no sense. 600 00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:58,104 You could just get the correct time from your phone. 601 00:23:58,187 --> 00:23:59,188 Oh, could I? 602 00:23:59,272 --> 00:24:03,610 Well, guess what, my phone fell in the toilet, so who's the fucking smart guy now, Kent? 603 00:24:03,693 --> 00:24:05,862 Hey, hey, hey, listen to me, you plus-sized homunculus. 604 00:24:05,945 --> 00:24:07,280 - Plus-sized what? - Homunculus. 605 00:24:07,363 --> 00:24:09,240 A human-shaped creature of medieval legend 606 00:24:09,324 --> 00:24:12,118 that paracelsus claimed was created from putrefied sperm. 607 00:24:12,201 --> 00:24:13,345 - How do you both know that? - Not now, not now. 608 00:24:13,369 --> 00:24:15,705 If you don't want that reporter to write a story titled, 609 00:24:16,331 --> 00:24:19,125 "granite state represented by twinless tower," 610 00:24:19,208 --> 00:24:20,269 then you better get over there, 611 00:24:20,293 --> 00:24:22,920 dip his cock in some maple syrup and start sucking. 612 00:24:23,004 --> 00:24:25,048 Fine. Hey, union leader, come here. 613 00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:26,883 Take this down. 614 00:24:27,884 --> 00:24:29,177 I'm not gonna suck your dick. 615 00:24:29,677 --> 00:24:32,972 The only one who should be sucking your dick is daylight savings time. 616 00:24:33,056 --> 00:24:34,491 And I don't give a fuck if that means 617 00:24:34,515 --> 00:24:38,978 that some farmer in Kansas has to milk his cow using a fucking flashlight. 618 00:24:39,062 --> 00:24:41,147 I've had my own bedtime since I was 17. 619 00:24:41,230 --> 00:24:43,417 I didn't need a babysitter then, and I don't need one now, 620 00:24:43,441 --> 00:24:46,611 and it's high time that the government stop trying to babysit all of us. 621 00:24:50,073 --> 00:24:51,240 That was all off the record. 622 00:24:52,075 --> 00:24:54,911 Ma'am, New York times says montez is naming the nominee today. 623 00:24:55,536 --> 00:24:57,914 - Buzzfeed confirms. - Oh, my god, really? 624 00:24:57,997 --> 00:24:59,725 Yeah. We should be getting a phone call any minute. 625 00:24:59,749 --> 00:25:01,000 Ooh, my heart is racing. 626 00:25:01,084 --> 00:25:02,561 I bet this time, it's just menopause. 627 00:25:02,585 --> 00:25:04,345 President meyer's office. 628 00:25:04,379 --> 00:25:05,379 Yep, she's right here. 629 00:25:05,421 --> 00:25:07,261 - It's candi caruso. - Don't say that I'm here. 630 00:25:07,382 --> 00:25:09,092 - You are here, though. - Candi? 631 00:25:09,467 --> 00:25:12,595 Uh-huh. Oh, that's fantastic! 632 00:25:13,137 --> 00:25:15,181 Okay, thank you. Bye-bye. 633 00:25:16,015 --> 00:25:18,434 Get shylock tanz on the phone right now! 634 00:25:18,518 --> 00:25:19,602 What? 635 00:25:19,686 --> 00:25:22,814 I don't know who montez picked, but it sure as tits wasn't me. 636 00:25:22,897 --> 00:25:25,066 I need that money for the library asap. Go. 637 00:25:25,149 --> 00:25:26,693 I think his name is sherman tanz. 638 00:25:26,776 --> 00:25:29,612 Fuck montez and that fake bur... burrow... 639 00:25:30,071 --> 00:25:32,323 Whatever you call those donkeys they ride in on. 640 00:25:32,407 --> 00:25:33,407 - Bureaus. - Amy: Burro? 641 00:25:33,449 --> 00:25:35,868 It would've been a shame to hide that body under a robe. 642 00:25:35,952 --> 00:25:37,078 - You know? - Okay, yes. 643 00:25:37,161 --> 00:25:39,390 - Sherman tanz on line one. - Selina: All right, here we go. 644 00:25:39,414 --> 00:25:41,582 Sherman, hello. 645 00:25:42,417 --> 00:25:44,377 I wanna give you some exciting news. 646 00:25:44,460 --> 00:25:47,213 We have secured the property for the meyer library. 647 00:25:47,463 --> 00:25:48,756 Ah, that's sensational! 648 00:25:48,840 --> 00:25:50,275 Listen, I have something to tell you. 649 00:25:50,299 --> 00:25:51,968 - I get it. - You do? 650 00:25:52,051 --> 00:25:55,263 And I want you to remind me what it is exactly that you're getting. 651 00:25:55,346 --> 00:25:56,597 Jonah Ryan. 652 00:25:56,681 --> 00:25:58,558 He's young, he's raw, he's a fresh, 653 00:25:58,641 --> 00:26:01,644 if slightly deformed, face that I can ride like a hobby horse. 654 00:26:01,894 --> 00:26:04,480 Did you see his nonsense about the daylight savings? 655 00:26:04,856 --> 00:26:06,816 - I love this guy. - We all do. 656 00:26:07,066 --> 00:26:08,067 This coastal property... 657 00:26:08,151 --> 00:26:10,653 Selina, I can't do the whole five mil by myself anymore. 658 00:26:10,737 --> 00:26:11,821 Seriously? 659 00:26:11,904 --> 00:26:14,240 I am all in on Jonah Ryan, and I owe you one. 660 00:26:14,323 --> 00:26:17,219 - Okay? I'll talk to you soon. - Yeah, that was the fucking point, sherman. 661 00:26:17,243 --> 00:26:18,453 -B ye -okay? 662 00:26:19,620 --> 00:26:20,872 Oh, here it is. 663 00:26:20,955 --> 00:26:23,416 Has nominated president Stuart Hughes 664 00:26:23,499 --> 00:26:27,336 for the supreme court seat left empty by the death of justice tenny. 665 00:26:28,671 --> 00:26:29,797 - Ow. - Gary: Aw. 666 00:26:29,881 --> 00:26:31,883 Well, at least you made the shortlist. 667 00:26:33,384 --> 00:26:35,219 - How are you feeling, by the way? - Good. 668 00:26:35,887 --> 00:26:37,263 - Then shut the fuck up. - Uh-huh. 669 00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:40,701 On the bright side, it's gonna be an amazing new exhibit at the Hughes library. 670 00:26:40,725 --> 00:26:41,726 Selina: Turn this off. 671 00:26:41,809 --> 00:26:43,853 Danny egan takes an unflinching look 672 00:26:44,187 --> 00:26:46,647 at Rwanda 20 years later. 673 00:26:46,981 --> 00:26:47,981 Thank you, Jane. 674 00:26:48,024 --> 00:26:51,277 The Rwandan genocide ended over two decades ago, 675 00:26:51,360 --> 00:26:54,739 but for Jean Pierre magambo, the nightmares never end. 676 00:26:55,573 --> 00:26:57,950 Good morning. Good morning. 677 00:26:59,827 --> 00:27:01,078 Look, it's 9:00 am, right? 678 00:27:01,496 --> 00:27:02,663 - Yes, it is. - Ben: Mmm-hmm. 679 00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:04,123 Okay, great. 680 00:27:05,041 --> 00:27:06,083 Who are all these people? 681 00:27:06,167 --> 00:27:07,728 I told you I didn't wanna meet with anybody. 682 00:27:07,752 --> 00:27:08,961 They are from tanz. 683 00:27:09,504 --> 00:27:13,466 You've got economists, staffers, even a couple of scientists, right? 684 00:27:14,008 --> 00:27:18,346 And they have written you a piece of legislation. 685 00:27:23,309 --> 00:27:24,393 Cool. 686 00:27:24,727 --> 00:27:26,047 Wait, do I have to read all this? 687 00:27:26,103 --> 00:27:27,230 Your choice. 688 00:27:27,605 --> 00:27:28,731 Fine. 689 00:27:30,233 --> 00:27:31,400 Hello. Thanks for this. 690 00:27:31,943 --> 00:27:33,277 Thank you. 691 00:27:33,736 --> 00:27:38,574 Mr. Speaker, daylight saving, not plural, 692 00:27:39,325 --> 00:27:42,495 time, has never saved us from anything. 693 00:27:43,538 --> 00:27:47,458 Certainly not the higher energy costs it promised to lower. 694 00:27:47,750 --> 00:27:52,213 Statistically, there is proof that the twice-yearly time change 695 00:27:52,296 --> 00:27:54,924 leads to increased accidents. 696 00:27:55,591 --> 00:27:59,929 And furthermore, the mishmash of time zones 697 00:28:00,012 --> 00:28:06,227 and time changes is just another example of the government overextending its reach. 698 00:28:06,727 --> 00:28:09,856 This bill will be a call for less government, 699 00:28:10,857 --> 00:28:16,028 from our clocks to our privately-built for-profit prisons, 700 00:28:16,112 --> 00:28:19,365 to the very watches on our wrists. 701 00:28:19,615 --> 00:28:22,118 Thank you, Mr. Speaker. I yield the floor.