1 00:00:10,970 --> 00:00:14,015 Selina: As a former president, I'm proud to lend my stature 2 00:00:14,098 --> 00:00:15,850 to this crucially important moment. 3 00:00:15,933 --> 00:00:20,354 And it's just an honor for me to be here as an official observer 4 00:00:20,438 --> 00:00:24,358 of Georgia's first free and open election. 5 00:00:24,442 --> 00:00:30,281 And, in fact, the spreading of democracy is one of the cornerstones of my foundation. 6 00:00:30,364 --> 00:00:31,365 It is? 7 00:00:31,449 --> 00:00:34,493 - So, thank you very much and mad... - Madloba. 8 00:00:34,577 --> 00:00:36,722 - Mad-lab-blah. - Thank you so much. Thank you very much. 9 00:00:36,746 --> 00:00:37,955 - Madloba. - Jesus. 10 00:00:38,039 --> 00:00:40,833 Democracy. What a horror show this is. 11 00:00:41,417 --> 00:00:44,057 - I didn't even know Georgia was a country. - Where'd our guide go? 12 00:00:44,128 --> 00:00:45,213 Oh, hey, petradze. 13 00:00:45,296 --> 00:00:49,926 Do you have any water that doesn't come from a nuclear power plant, by any chance? 14 00:00:50,009 --> 00:00:52,303 - Vodka. - Okay, sure, fine. Vodka... 15 00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:53,888 Excuse me, it would be a great honor 16 00:00:53,971 --> 00:00:56,390 to introduce my daughter to the president of usa. 17 00:00:56,474 --> 00:00:59,018 Hello. One day you can grow up to be president. 18 00:00:59,101 --> 00:01:01,020 No, not you. Your brother. 19 00:01:01,771 --> 00:01:02,897 Unbelievable. 20 00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:04,398 - Can we do picture? - No. 21 00:01:04,482 --> 00:01:06,359 Oh, it's okay. I don't have camera. 22 00:01:07,318 --> 00:01:08,670 Selina: Well, I'll tell you something. 23 00:01:08,694 --> 00:01:11,906 All of this international shit is gonna be great for my book. 24 00:01:11,989 --> 00:01:13,157 This is my second act. 25 00:01:13,241 --> 00:01:16,035 Selina meyer travels the globe, spreading democracy 26 00:01:16,118 --> 00:01:18,204 like patient zero, right, petradze? 27 00:01:18,287 --> 00:01:19,580 - Yes? - Oh, boy. 28 00:01:19,664 --> 00:01:21,332 This place sucks my ghost nard. 29 00:01:21,624 --> 00:01:22,684 Why couldn't you have gotten me 30 00:01:22,708 --> 00:01:25,127 on an international election watching trip to Hawaii? 31 00:01:25,211 --> 00:01:27,880 Hawaii is rightfully a monarchy and will be again. 32 00:01:27,964 --> 00:01:30,883 Look, did you read the codel schedule of official events 33 00:01:30,967 --> 00:01:32,969 or were there not enough pictures for you? 34 00:01:33,052 --> 00:01:35,096 Ooh. Sex trafficking workshop. 35 00:01:35,179 --> 00:01:37,723 It's an anti-sex trafficking workshop. 36 00:01:37,807 --> 00:01:39,725 - Lame. - Okay, that's enough for now. 37 00:01:39,809 --> 00:01:40,977 I need a drink. 38 00:01:41,060 --> 00:01:42,603 It's gotta be 8:00 am. Somewhere. 39 00:01:42,687 --> 00:01:44,689 Checking in. Mike mclintock. 40 00:01:45,523 --> 00:01:47,608 You don't have a reservation in this hotel. 41 00:01:48,484 --> 00:01:49,986 Richard, I don't have a reservation. 42 00:01:50,069 --> 00:01:51,713 Well, you were a last minute addition to the trip, 43 00:01:51,737 --> 00:01:54,407 so it's possible that we didn't make one. Richard splett. 44 00:01:54,490 --> 00:01:56,951 - Oh! Hello, boys. - Madam president. 45 00:01:57,034 --> 00:01:58,703 Look at us, just like the good, old days. 46 00:01:58,786 --> 00:02:01,122 Except shittier in every conceivable way. 47 00:02:01,205 --> 00:02:03,457 Hey, hey, gang's all here. 48 00:02:03,541 --> 00:02:05,584 Maybe we can win an election for a change. 49 00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:09,005 - That came out wrong. - Yeah, way wrong, right? 50 00:02:09,088 --> 00:02:12,717 80, secretary Doyle has picked you for elder statesman duty? 51 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:15,344 - Jailbait statesman. - It's fine. It's okay. 52 00:02:15,428 --> 00:02:16,470 Doyle picked me because... 53 00:02:16,554 --> 00:02:18,156 So he's got a goat to scape if things go wrong. 54 00:02:18,180 --> 00:02:20,558 - Yeah, yeah. - They need political cover. 55 00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:21,642 Night and fog. 56 00:02:23,060 --> 00:02:24,520 Yeah, I haven't missed that. 57 00:02:24,603 --> 00:02:26,923 - Secretary of state Doyle for you, ma'am. - Oh, all right. 58 00:02:27,523 --> 00:02:29,751 - Secretary Doyle? - Woman: Please hold for secretary Doyle. 59 00:02:29,775 --> 00:02:32,111 Okay, no. I don't get put on hold, okay? 60 00:02:32,194 --> 00:02:33,672 When he comes on, he gets put on hold. 61 00:02:33,696 --> 00:02:35,823 Kent, would you book a massage for me, but, you know, 62 00:02:35,906 --> 00:02:37,826 the one where the girl at the end... Oh, fuck me. 63 00:02:37,908 --> 00:02:39,618 Congressman Ryan. 64 00:02:39,702 --> 00:02:44,040 I haven't spoken to you since the historic house vote. 65 00:02:44,123 --> 00:02:45,541 - Yes. - I just wanted to 66 00:02:45,624 --> 00:02:48,502 thank you for all that you've done for me. 67 00:02:48,836 --> 00:02:50,504 And I wanna let you know 68 00:02:51,255 --> 00:02:53,299 that I will destroy you 69 00:02:53,758 --> 00:02:55,468 in ways that are so creative, 70 00:02:56,010 --> 00:02:58,721 they will honor me for it at the Kennedy center. 71 00:02:59,221 --> 00:03:00,574 Richard: Please hold for president meyer. 72 00:03:00,598 --> 00:03:02,784 You're putting me on hold. Actually, do you think you could not? 73 00:03:02,808 --> 00:03:04,685 I'm here, I'm here. Andrew? 74 00:03:04,769 --> 00:03:06,969 - Woman: Please hold for secretary Doyle. - God damn it. 75 00:03:08,439 --> 00:03:11,984 He who hath betrayed me standeth before me now. 76 00:03:12,485 --> 00:03:14,487 Hello, congressman Ryan. It's been a while. 77 00:03:14,570 --> 00:03:17,531 I am gonna find ways to destroy you so hard 78 00:03:17,615 --> 00:03:21,869 that everybody at the Kennedy center is gonna take a fucking massive shit. 79 00:03:21,952 --> 00:03:23,055 It's really nice to see you. 80 00:03:23,079 --> 00:03:24,997 So, I assume you're gonna beg for your job back. 81 00:03:25,081 --> 00:03:27,500 It's a very kind offer, but I already have a betterjob 82 00:03:27,583 --> 00:03:29,269 working for president meyer. I thought you knew that. 83 00:03:29,293 --> 00:03:30,813 Okay, you know what, I don't need you. 84 00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:35,049 I already have 434 brand-new best friends and we're all going to dinner tonight. 85 00:03:35,132 --> 00:03:37,218 And you're not invited. Sorry. Congressmen only. 86 00:03:37,301 --> 00:03:38,344 Have fun. 87 00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:40,554 What's up, fellas? 88 00:03:40,846 --> 00:03:43,015 How you doing? Hey, you wanna go monitor some dinner? 89 00:03:43,099 --> 00:03:45,142 I hear that horse is legal to eat here. 90 00:03:45,476 --> 00:03:49,563 Uh, I'm actually prettyjet-lagged. Probably gonna just catch up on some sleep. 91 00:03:49,647 --> 00:03:51,399 Let me know if you guys do go out, okay? 92 00:03:51,482 --> 00:03:53,943 I got a Georgian sim card. Got text forwarding. 93 00:03:54,026 --> 00:03:55,506 I'll hear from you? All right, later. 94 00:03:56,654 --> 00:03:59,573 Buddy: I was suffering from dehydration and exhaustion. 95 00:03:59,657 --> 00:04:01,577 That's not the buddy Calhoun I see in the mirror. 96 00:04:01,784 --> 00:04:03,944 Although, it would be if you stepped out of the shower. 97 00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:05,329 - Now, Ms. Brookheimer. - Mmm. 98 00:04:05,413 --> 00:04:09,166 You're not only buddy Calhoun's campaign manager, but you're also his fiancee. 99 00:04:09,834 --> 00:04:11,269 And congratulations on that, by the way. 100 00:04:11,293 --> 00:04:12,420 Thank you, Danny. 101 00:04:12,503 --> 00:04:16,465 Now, wouldn't you concede that when your fiance exposed himself 102 00:04:16,549 --> 00:04:19,927 to a policewoman that he hurt his chances of becoming elected? 103 00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:21,988 - I've seen the video, of course... - Dan: You have? 104 00:04:22,012 --> 00:04:24,132 Can we roll that video one more time for our audience? 105 00:04:24,181 --> 00:04:27,852 And I try not to think of the politics of it all. But... 106 00:04:27,935 --> 00:04:29,621 And here's the moment where he exposes himself. 107 00:04:29,645 --> 00:04:31,897 Yes. Everyone... yeah, that's... 108 00:04:32,189 --> 00:04:33,858 But for myself, 109 00:04:33,941 --> 00:04:37,862 I'm happiest when buddy and I are on the couch... 110 00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:38,988 Can we play that again? 111 00:04:39,071 --> 00:04:40,948 Eating popcorn and watching downton Abbey. 112 00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:42,658 In the interest of full disclosure, 113 00:04:42,741 --> 00:04:45,453 Ms. Brookheimer and I did have a brief relationship 114 00:04:45,536 --> 00:04:47,997 when she was a much younger woman. 115 00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:49,457 - You did? - Thank you to you both. 116 00:04:50,583 --> 00:04:52,223 - We'll be right back. - Man: We're clear. 117 00:04:53,002 --> 00:04:54,962 Ames, who's your favorite character on downton? 118 00:04:55,045 --> 00:04:56,130 I don't know. 119 00:04:56,547 --> 00:04:58,507 - Abby, I guess. - Yep. 120 00:05:00,926 --> 00:05:02,970 Woman: President meyer's still holding on line two. 121 00:05:03,053 --> 00:05:07,099 Selina. So, murman was a brutal bastard who ruled with an iron fist 122 00:05:07,183 --> 00:05:09,477 he liked to insert in the anus of his opponents. 123 00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:12,938 But when it came to the us viewpoint, at least he was a good listener. 124 00:05:13,022 --> 00:05:15,483 Yeah, and he did a beautiful rendition of rendition. 125 00:05:15,566 --> 00:05:17,151 - I don't have a hotel room. - Exactly. 126 00:05:17,234 --> 00:05:20,863 But it's time for a change, so we're backing professor Nikolai genidze. 127 00:05:21,530 --> 00:05:24,825 He's a new voice for democracy in the region and would be a 128 00:05:24,909 --> 00:05:27,745 major victory for the Doyle doctrine. 129 00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:28,996 You have a doctrine now? 130 00:05:29,079 --> 00:05:31,123 What is it? "Boners are rare, don't waste them"? 131 00:05:31,207 --> 00:05:33,143 Hey, did you think of that while you were walking on the beach 132 00:05:33,167 --> 00:05:36,337 with a metal detector or however you fill your empty days? 133 00:05:36,420 --> 00:05:38,339 - That's nice. Listen. - Look, just 134 00:05:38,422 --> 00:05:42,843 sit back, take your lead from the UN special envoy for election monitoring. 135 00:05:42,927 --> 00:05:44,011 What? Who is that? 136 00:05:44,470 --> 00:05:46,013 - Selina. - Oh, fuck. 137 00:05:46,096 --> 00:05:47,097 Minna. 138 00:05:48,891 --> 00:05:51,852 - You look absolutely radiant. - Oh, thank you. 139 00:05:51,936 --> 00:05:54,247 Yes, your stay in the insane asylum, it's really agreed with you. 140 00:05:54,271 --> 00:05:55,272 It was a spa. 141 00:05:55,356 --> 00:05:58,192 No, no, a spa is where you go to get a massage and the like. 142 00:05:58,275 --> 00:06:00,069 You were in an insane asylum. 143 00:06:00,152 --> 00:06:01,695 Oh, it's been fun to see you. 144 00:06:01,779 --> 00:06:04,990 I have such a big day tomorrow because I have an election to supervise. 145 00:06:05,074 --> 00:06:08,244 I know, because I am supervising your supervising. 146 00:06:08,577 --> 00:06:10,538 - We have so much to say to each other. - Well... 147 00:06:10,621 --> 00:06:12,933 - I look forward to it. See you later. - Okay, okay. Goodbye. 148 00:06:12,957 --> 00:06:13,958 Oh, god... 149 00:06:14,625 --> 00:06:16,686 Hey, ma'am, we have a situation with your hotel room. 150 00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:17,795 What is it? 151 00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:20,518 Your bidet is splashy and there's no terrycloth robe or shower cap. 152 00:06:20,548 --> 00:06:21,757 Wait, you tested my bidet? 153 00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:23,443 Don't worry, I'm gonna fix this before tub time. 154 00:06:23,467 --> 00:06:24,760 - I don't care. - I'm on it. 155 00:06:25,344 --> 00:06:26,428 Hey. 156 00:06:37,147 --> 00:06:39,733 - Hey, Kent. - Sorry, Mike, you cannot stay with me. 157 00:06:39,817 --> 00:06:41,902 Please don't make me make up a reason. 158 00:06:41,986 --> 00:06:44,280 Listen to me. I went to find a hotel room, right? 159 00:06:44,363 --> 00:06:46,841 Nobody speaks English here, everything was really confusing to me, 160 00:06:46,865 --> 00:06:48,242 and I was chased by children. 161 00:06:48,534 --> 00:06:50,661 And I think I may have voted. 162 00:06:51,537 --> 00:06:55,749 Mike, that is the kind of voting irregularity that we are here to prevent. 163 00:06:55,958 --> 00:06:58,239 That sounds bad. Look, please, can you help me get it off? 164 00:06:58,794 --> 00:07:01,964 Unless you want the entire thumb removed with a utility blade, 165 00:07:02,047 --> 00:07:04,008 I suggest you find another person. 166 00:07:05,217 --> 00:07:08,345 Mom, I told you, I get more homesick when you call. 167 00:07:09,888 --> 00:07:12,182 Hi, what do you have that's like spaghettios? 168 00:07:12,725 --> 00:07:14,845 Man: And I said, "it's in my carry-on." 169 00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:17,563 You know what, forget it. I'm not hungry. 170 00:07:20,441 --> 00:07:21,775 Oh, crap. 171 00:07:22,526 --> 00:07:24,879 Mike, now's not a good time. I'm laying out her shoes, Mike. 172 00:07:24,903 --> 00:07:26,030 You have to help me. 173 00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:27,799 I accidentally voted and now my thumb is green. 174 00:07:27,823 --> 00:07:29,217 The same thing happened to me! 175 00:07:29,241 --> 00:07:31,327 - Oh, my god! - How did it happen? 176 00:07:31,410 --> 00:07:33,930 Oh, my god. I went out to get a terrycloth robe and there was this crowd 177 00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:35,348 and I asked them where nordstrom's was 178 00:07:35,372 --> 00:07:36,933 and then the next thing I knew, they dyed my thumb 179 00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:39,185 and an old lady who smelled like cumin wouldn't stop hugging me. 180 00:07:39,209 --> 00:07:41,253 - Mine smelled like paprika. - Oh, god. 181 00:07:41,337 --> 00:07:42,755 We cannot let anyone see this. 182 00:07:42,838 --> 00:07:45,692 I can't afford to lose this job, Gary, but I can't afford to keep it either. 183 00:07:45,716 --> 00:07:47,801 I mean, it's so expensive to commute from DC. 184 00:07:47,885 --> 00:07:49,362 - And I haven't been paid yet. - Oh, Mike. 185 00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:52,014 - But I don't wanna lose it, I think. - Yeah. Uh-huh. 186 00:07:52,097 --> 00:07:54,350 - Hey, Gary, can I sleep on your couch? - No. 187 00:07:55,768 --> 00:07:57,394 - Hard no? - It's a hard no. 188 00:07:58,646 --> 00:08:01,273 Hey, ma'am. Get some food before everyone else. 189 00:08:01,357 --> 00:08:04,360 Okay, I never, ever wanna see the inside of your mouth again. 190 00:08:04,443 --> 00:08:06,487 Okay? It looks like a Haitian porta-potty in there. 191 00:08:06,570 --> 00:08:08,781 - Copy that. - Okay. I just saw it again. 192 00:08:08,864 --> 00:08:09,948 - Copy. - Guys. 193 00:08:10,032 --> 00:08:12,493 I find this kind of food display really repulsive. 194 00:08:12,576 --> 00:08:15,696 Just a spoonful of this caviar will pay for a wind turbine for a whole village. 195 00:08:15,746 --> 00:08:18,791 Yeah, but do we really want these people to have electricity? 196 00:08:19,124 --> 00:08:22,169 Minna: Professor Nikolai genidze, he's Georgia's only hope 197 00:08:22,252 --> 00:08:25,089 for escape this cycle of corruption and decadence. 198 00:08:25,172 --> 00:08:27,675 Jesus, you and Doyle really have a wide-on for this guy. 199 00:08:27,758 --> 00:08:31,011 You know that the moment that he announced that he was running for the presidency, 200 00:08:31,095 --> 00:08:33,514 murman tried to poison him in a Sushi restaurant. 201 00:08:33,597 --> 00:08:35,849 Selina: Well, it's a miracle that anybody survives 202 00:08:35,933 --> 00:08:37,685 eating Sushi in this country, minna. 203 00:08:37,768 --> 00:08:40,479 He has some scarring. It is purely cosmetic. 204 00:08:40,604 --> 00:08:43,357 But there's still some cysts and some bubbling. 205 00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:46,694 - Oh, my god, I need a drink. - Murman: Selina. Madam president. 206 00:08:46,777 --> 00:08:48,404 It's so good to see you. 207 00:08:48,487 --> 00:08:50,989 Have you imprisoned any good novelists recently? 208 00:08:52,616 --> 00:08:54,201 Ms. Hakkinen. 209 00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:57,287 How are things in the international busybody circuit? 210 00:08:57,371 --> 00:08:58,372 Great, thank you. 211 00:08:58,455 --> 00:09:01,583 I was sorry to see that your forceful condemnation 212 00:09:01,667 --> 00:09:04,878 did not do more to stop the recent genocide in the Congo. 213 00:09:05,295 --> 00:09:07,631 - Well, maybe next genocide. - Or the one after that. 214 00:09:07,715 --> 00:09:08,757 Excuse me. 215 00:09:09,508 --> 00:09:11,969 Hey, Ben. You sure do get around, don't you? 216 00:09:12,469 --> 00:09:15,514 Murman here is an old client of mine, and the only reason he hasn't been 217 00:09:15,597 --> 00:09:17,659 dragged naked through the streets and hung upside down 218 00:09:17,683 --> 00:09:20,227 from a lamppost with his cock stuffed in his mouth 219 00:09:20,310 --> 00:09:22,855 is because he took my advice from time to time. 220 00:09:22,938 --> 00:09:25,524 - Guilty as charged. - Okay, me, too. 221 00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:28,736 Madam president, if I could have a word in private? 222 00:09:28,819 --> 00:09:31,905 Absolutely, although, if it takes more than five minutes, 223 00:09:31,989 --> 00:09:35,033 I think that amnesty international will be alerted, murman. 224 00:09:35,117 --> 00:09:36,660 Murman: I'm not afraid of those guys. 225 00:09:36,994 --> 00:09:38,162 Montez and Doyle, 226 00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:40,622 they're trying to make Georgia more like america. 227 00:09:40,706 --> 00:09:42,207 Look, I saw your last election. 228 00:09:42,291 --> 00:09:44,644 - No, thank you. - Well, I can't argue with you there, murman. 229 00:09:44,668 --> 00:09:46,420 Let me tell you little story 230 00:09:46,503 --> 00:09:48,589 about growing up as a tire-burner's son 231 00:09:48,672 --> 00:09:51,025 - in the gurjaani countryside. - No, no, murman, no, no, no. 232 00:09:51,049 --> 00:09:55,137 I love your stories and this is, I'm sure, shaping up to be a great one. 233 00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:57,264 Young murman in the countryside, 234 00:09:57,347 --> 00:09:59,016 et cetera, et cetera. But I really do... 235 00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:03,437 Selina, I would like to make a $10 million donation 236 00:10:04,021 --> 00:10:06,023 to help you build your library. 237 00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:11,236 I cannot possibly accept that. 238 00:10:11,653 --> 00:10:14,990 I mean, even the appearance of a quid pro quo... 239 00:10:15,073 --> 00:10:17,451 No, no, no, there are no threads attached. 240 00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:21,246 And you should know that this donation will be completely untraceable. 241 00:10:21,330 --> 00:10:24,041 It will come from my Georgian aids foundation. 242 00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:26,293 Mmm. Such a terrible killer. 243 00:10:26,376 --> 00:10:27,836 - Tragic, yes. - Mmm-hmm. 244 00:10:28,337 --> 00:10:30,923 - But we're making real progress. - We are. 245 00:10:31,673 --> 00:10:32,800 We are. 246 00:10:32,883 --> 00:10:35,135 I trust I have made myself suitably clear. 247 00:10:35,219 --> 00:10:38,722 As clear as the coffee table Danny Thomas had his hookers shit on. 248 00:10:39,515 --> 00:10:40,891 It's an American expression. 249 00:10:41,225 --> 00:10:44,561 Danny Thomas also founded the St. Jude's hospital for children, 250 00:10:44,645 --> 00:10:47,606 - so there's the... - Ah, yes. The yin and the Yang. 251 00:10:47,689 --> 00:10:49,233 There you go, exactly. 252 00:10:49,608 --> 00:10:52,194 Marjorie: Your motherjust added democracy to the foundation. 253 00:10:52,277 --> 00:10:54,655 So, now it's the selina meyer foundation 254 00:10:54,738 --> 00:10:58,867 - for adult literacy, aids... - And the advancement of global democracy. 255 00:10:59,493 --> 00:11:00,619 Hey, guys. 256 00:11:00,702 --> 00:11:02,788 - Dan. - So what's up? 257 00:11:03,747 --> 00:11:06,750 - How are you? - I'm good, I'm good. Thanks. 258 00:11:07,751 --> 00:11:10,754 - How's your family? - I don't know. Uh... 259 00:11:11,964 --> 00:11:14,216 - Why, have you heard something? - No... 260 00:11:14,925 --> 00:11:17,469 The thing is that Marjorie and I have decided that 261 00:11:17,553 --> 00:11:20,264 - we wanna have a baby and... - I will give you my sperm. 262 00:11:20,764 --> 00:11:23,016 - Oh, great. - Yeah. 263 00:11:23,100 --> 00:11:25,727 - I thought that would take a lot longer. - No. 264 00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:29,106 Is there anything else that you wanna talk about? 265 00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:31,525 - I'm good. - Well, we'll send you the details. 266 00:11:31,608 --> 00:11:34,862 And if you could not ejaculate for the next 72 hours, that would be ideal. 267 00:11:35,404 --> 00:11:36,822 Okay. Uh... 268 00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:39,116 Could we start the clock in, like, 30 minutes? 269 00:11:40,284 --> 00:11:41,869 - Yeah, I guess so. - Actually, no. No. 270 00:11:41,952 --> 00:11:43,203 Make it 40. 271 00:11:43,287 --> 00:11:45,122 The girl I'm thinking of likes to talk first. 272 00:11:46,790 --> 00:11:48,542 Amber, it's Dan-Dan. 273 00:11:48,876 --> 00:11:49,918 You in midtown? 274 00:11:50,294 --> 00:11:53,547 - Selina: Ben, I need to talk to you. - Yeah, what happened with murman? 275 00:11:53,630 --> 00:11:54,673 Okay. 276 00:11:57,676 --> 00:11:59,344 He just offered me 277 00:12:00,554 --> 00:12:05,559 a $10 million donation to my library. 278 00:12:06,184 --> 00:12:08,312 That'll keep a lot of docents in rockports. 279 00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:10,635 God, I'd kill for a job where I could wear flats all day. 280 00:12:11,315 --> 00:12:14,151 But, look, I can't take that money. 281 00:12:15,027 --> 00:12:16,194 - Right? - Right. 282 00:12:16,737 --> 00:12:18,572 - Right. - Right. 283 00:12:18,655 --> 00:12:21,283 I mean, I definitely cannot take that money. 284 00:12:22,576 --> 00:12:23,994 But hold up. 285 00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:27,998 If I did take it, would I be compromising my... 286 00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:29,791 - Reputation. - Please. 287 00:12:29,875 --> 00:12:31,293 - Your integrity? - Yes. 288 00:12:31,585 --> 00:12:32,711 My integrity. 289 00:12:32,794 --> 00:12:35,422 I cannot lose my integrity. 290 00:12:35,505 --> 00:12:37,132 Without that, I am nothing. 291 00:12:37,215 --> 00:12:40,010 How would we make sure no one finds out about the cash? 292 00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:44,389 Technically, a library donation would not be illegal under us law. 293 00:12:44,473 --> 00:12:45,641 But what about Georgian law? 294 00:12:45,724 --> 00:12:49,978 There is literally no Georgian law. And I'm using "literally" correctly. 295 00:12:50,187 --> 00:12:53,398 So, are you saying that I should take it? 296 00:12:54,358 --> 00:12:55,710 - I don't know. - It's hard to say. 297 00:12:55,734 --> 00:12:58,320 Okay. See, at least when I was leader of the free world, 298 00:12:58,403 --> 00:12:59,988 people told me what to do. 299 00:13:00,989 --> 00:13:02,950 Okay, what happened with this? Did you drink it? 300 00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:05,118 - What happened? So crazy. - I don't know. 301 00:13:05,869 --> 00:13:08,288 So, look, I was thinking, minna, 302 00:13:08,705 --> 00:13:13,293 would it be that bad if murman actually did win? 303 00:13:13,377 --> 00:13:15,545 Well, that depends how you define bad. 304 00:13:15,629 --> 00:13:20,384 You know, I'm just saying the poisoning and the torture and the death squads aside, 305 00:13:21,551 --> 00:13:23,637 I think murman is really good people. 306 00:13:23,887 --> 00:13:25,889 Honestly. And he's a hell of a storyteller. 307 00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:29,851 Really. You know, you could actually learn something from him, minna. 308 00:13:29,935 --> 00:13:32,145 You know, his stories have a solid point. 309 00:13:32,437 --> 00:13:34,815 They have a beginning and a middle and an end. 310 00:13:34,898 --> 00:13:38,151 And it makes it kind of, you know, interesting to sit and listen. 311 00:13:38,235 --> 00:13:39,611 Nikolai genidze's scarring or no, 312 00:13:39,695 --> 00:13:42,614 he is the only hope for the Georgian people. 313 00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:45,200 - Well... - He has the soul of a poet. 314 00:13:45,283 --> 00:13:47,244 Yeah, that and a car with a sunroof 315 00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:50,122 could've bought you my virginity in '83. 316 00:13:50,622 --> 00:13:51,957 You were 22? 317 00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:54,710 No, I was 15 in 1983. 318 00:13:58,505 --> 00:14:01,049 - Right. - Well, I was, minna. 319 00:14:01,258 --> 00:14:02,926 - Right, that's great. - Yeah. 320 00:14:03,135 --> 00:14:05,345 Did I tell you that my son Otto tried to commit suicide 321 00:14:05,429 --> 00:14:06,949 and that he is now not speaking to me? 322 00:14:07,305 --> 00:14:09,516 Did he throw himself from a moving town car? 323 00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:13,020 No. No, he weighted his boots and hejumped into an ice hole. 324 00:14:13,103 --> 00:14:14,312 I'm so sorry, into what? 325 00:14:14,396 --> 00:14:16,982 Into an ice hole. Like a hole they cut in the ice. 326 00:14:17,566 --> 00:14:18,942 - For fishing. - Right. 327 00:14:19,943 --> 00:14:20,986 That makes sense. 328 00:14:21,695 --> 00:14:23,589 I wonder how much longer it is to get to the hotel. 329 00:14:23,613 --> 00:14:24,740 I'm not really sure. 330 00:14:24,823 --> 00:14:27,010 - This is a long car ride. - I think it's another 45, 50 minutes. 331 00:14:27,034 --> 00:14:28,702 Oh, my god. 332 00:14:34,624 --> 00:14:35,792 Hey, pinocchios. 333 00:14:36,334 --> 00:14:38,503 Your noses must've been really tiny yesterday 334 00:14:38,587 --> 00:14:41,339 because you lied and now they're normal-sized. 335 00:14:41,423 --> 00:14:44,843 Representative Ryan, you were officially hazed last night. 336 00:14:45,969 --> 00:14:47,179 - We got you. - Totally. 337 00:14:47,262 --> 00:14:49,806 - Wait, does that mean that I'm, like, in now? - Totally. 338 00:14:49,890 --> 00:14:52,059 Well, then let's go celebrate. I'm buying. 339 00:14:52,642 --> 00:14:54,644 By I, I mean the people of New Hampshire. 340 00:14:54,728 --> 00:14:58,356 In the immortal words of will.I.Am, "tonight's gonna be really great!" 341 00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:02,402 - Careful. Oh, tuck in. - I got shotgun. 342 00:15:02,486 --> 00:15:04,696 You got shotgun, all right. Okay, here I come. 343 00:15:04,780 --> 00:15:06,073 All right, push in, push in. 344 00:15:06,323 --> 00:15:07,842 We'll take this one. You guys take the next one. 345 00:15:07,866 --> 00:15:09,135 Oh, I don't know where you guys are going. 346 00:15:09,159 --> 00:15:10,452 That's right. 347 00:15:14,331 --> 00:15:15,457 Fuck. 348 00:15:17,459 --> 00:15:18,668 Are you fucking... 349 00:15:19,044 --> 00:15:22,422 That's where that goes? Pick up your fucking chairs! 350 00:15:23,507 --> 00:15:26,051 - I have not seen Nikolai since the hague. - Oh, really? 351 00:15:26,134 --> 00:15:28,720 Oh, you must remember not to react to his disfigurement. 352 00:15:28,804 --> 00:15:30,782 - He's very sensitive. - Wait, how bad is it, exactly? 353 00:15:30,806 --> 00:15:32,849 Well, he was very handsome before the poisoning. 354 00:15:32,933 --> 00:15:36,019 So you may not even notice it. There he is. Nikolai. 355 00:15:36,853 --> 00:15:40,273 - Ah, welcome. Hello. - You look terrific. 356 00:15:40,357 --> 00:15:43,151 - Minna. - Oh, she's kissing it. 357 00:15:43,235 --> 00:15:44,820 Well, that's why we moisturize. 358 00:15:44,903 --> 00:15:46,363 May I introduce to you, 359 00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:49,950 the former president of the United States and my best friend. 360 00:15:50,033 --> 00:15:53,036 - No, no, no. - President meyer. 361 00:15:54,579 --> 00:15:57,457 May I say that the reports of your beauty 362 00:15:57,541 --> 00:15:59,292 have not been exaggerated. 363 00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:00,961 Well, back at you, red. 364 00:16:01,044 --> 00:16:03,505 And of course you know my old friend, Ben. 365 00:16:03,588 --> 00:16:06,758 - Ben! Doing god's work, I see. - As long as the check clears. 366 00:16:07,259 --> 00:16:10,303 - So, welcome to my humble abode. - Thank you very much. 367 00:16:10,387 --> 00:16:12,222 I think you will find it a great contrast 368 00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:14,391 to the vulgar palaces of murman. 369 00:16:14,599 --> 00:16:16,810 I mean, you know, who needs all that champagne 370 00:16:16,893 --> 00:16:20,397 when you can have all these different kinds of wallpaper? 371 00:16:20,939 --> 00:16:23,316 - Well, dinner is served. - Great. 372 00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:28,321 I know that you will soon find we Georgians are a warm, friendly people. 373 00:16:28,405 --> 00:16:30,782 - Oh, good. - Except for our politics. 374 00:16:34,953 --> 00:16:38,373 Minna? Minna, what is going on with you? Are you all right? 375 00:16:38,456 --> 00:16:40,917 Selina, you see right through me. 376 00:16:41,001 --> 00:16:42,562 - What? - It's because we are close as sisters. 377 00:16:42,586 --> 00:16:44,504 - No, we're not. - You know that Nikolai and I 378 00:16:44,588 --> 00:16:47,424 are not only bound by mutual respect and shared beliefs. 379 00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:50,552 We are also bound by powerful physical attraction. 380 00:16:50,635 --> 00:16:52,637 - Ooh. - You gotta be kidding. 381 00:16:52,721 --> 00:16:55,056 - We are, in fact, lovers. - What? 382 00:16:55,140 --> 00:16:56,141 - Lovers. - Lovers. 383 00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:58,101 With scab Calloway? 384 00:16:58,185 --> 00:17:02,022 - His very touch makes me quiver. - Okay. 385 00:17:02,314 --> 00:17:03,982 And now we get to eat food. 386 00:17:06,109 --> 00:17:07,277 Good evening, congressman. 387 00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:09,029 Those new corduroys? 388 00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:11,656 They're newish. 389 00:17:11,781 --> 00:17:13,676 Well, I know you probably have a lot of other offers, 390 00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:17,204 but if not, you know, maybe you and me could do something. 391 00:17:17,454 --> 00:17:20,248 Yeah, maybe. I mean, I guess I could move a couple things around. 392 00:17:20,624 --> 00:17:22,292 I don't know, the doorman told me 393 00:17:22,417 --> 00:17:24,103 about this really cool concert that he knew of. 394 00:17:24,127 --> 00:17:25,188 He said he thought I might like it. 395 00:17:25,212 --> 00:17:29,012 Well, luckily, the president gave me the rest of the night off so I could put on my tourist hat. 396 00:17:33,511 --> 00:17:35,055 It's actually my favorite joke ever. 397 00:17:35,138 --> 00:17:36,389 That's so good. 398 00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:38,725 - Hey, do you wanna go? - Yeah, all right. 399 00:17:39,601 --> 00:17:43,104 We have adopted all the worst traits of Russia. 400 00:17:43,980 --> 00:17:45,815 Without any of the good ones. 401 00:17:46,107 --> 00:17:48,318 Not that there are many of those. 402 00:17:53,073 --> 00:17:55,200 So, it is now time 403 00:17:55,533 --> 00:17:58,662 - for Georgia to face west. - Eat it. 404 00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:01,623 - What? - Eat the soup. 405 00:18:05,335 --> 00:18:06,962 Because I'm hungry. 406 00:18:07,504 --> 00:18:09,547 I need to know if it's been poisoned. 407 00:18:12,008 --> 00:18:13,218 - Really? - Uh-hmm. 408 00:18:13,301 --> 00:18:16,721 Nikolai: Find a third way. The Georgian way. 409 00:18:16,805 --> 00:18:18,932 I don't wanna do that. 410 00:18:19,975 --> 00:18:21,559 Just a tiny, tiny taste. 411 00:18:21,643 --> 00:18:25,814 Nikolai: Laboratory, if you will. A laboratory for democracy. 412 00:18:25,897 --> 00:18:30,193 We will adopt what works and discard what does not. 413 00:18:37,534 --> 00:18:38,785 - It's delicious. - Okay. 414 00:18:41,037 --> 00:18:42,539 Is there anything happening to me? 415 00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:45,333 I don't think so. 416 00:18:45,875 --> 00:18:48,128 Oh, it has carrots in it. I'm not gonna eat that. 417 00:18:48,211 --> 00:18:50,130 Starting at the top. 418 00:18:55,385 --> 00:18:57,887 If I might have a private word... 419 00:18:57,971 --> 00:19:01,516 - It would be a very good pleasure. - With madam president. 420 00:19:01,891 --> 00:19:03,351 Okay, sure. 421 00:19:05,395 --> 00:19:06,604 What are you doing? 422 00:19:07,230 --> 00:19:08,565 - I'm hungry. - Okay... 423 00:19:09,107 --> 00:19:10,317 Madam president, 424 00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:14,446 I have been reliably told that war criminal murman 425 00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:19,034 had the audacity to offer you a $10 million bribe. 426 00:19:19,576 --> 00:19:23,371 - Okay, well, that is ridiculous. - I agree. 427 00:19:23,455 --> 00:19:26,041 It is so much less than you are worth. 428 00:19:27,167 --> 00:19:28,543 I'm sorry, what? 429 00:19:29,210 --> 00:19:33,298 To ensure fair election, I would like to offer you 430 00:19:33,715 --> 00:19:36,092 a $15 million bribe. 431 00:19:36,176 --> 00:19:37,719 How dare you, sir! 432 00:19:37,969 --> 00:19:39,554 I will remind you 433 00:19:39,637 --> 00:19:43,016 that I am the former president of the United States. 434 00:19:43,099 --> 00:19:46,936 You have lost a great deal of face in my estimation. 435 00:19:47,020 --> 00:19:50,065 What I meant to say, of course, is I would like to make 436 00:19:50,148 --> 00:19:54,277 a $15 million donation to your library. 437 00:19:57,155 --> 00:19:59,866 Well, that is something we can discuss. 438 00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:03,995 As long as we understand that there is, in fact, no understanding. 439 00:20:04,079 --> 00:20:05,288 I understand. 440 00:20:05,372 --> 00:20:09,667 Nikolai, you say that you have $15 million and yet you live in this... 441 00:20:10,794 --> 00:20:12,212 You know, forgive the expression, 442 00:20:12,295 --> 00:20:15,215 but unbelievably shitty apartment. 443 00:20:15,298 --> 00:20:18,593 Ah... You see, because I have secret. 444 00:20:19,219 --> 00:20:21,219 - Come here. Come here. - No, you can just tell me. 445 00:20:21,262 --> 00:20:23,422 - I can hear you fine from where I am. - No. Come here. 446 00:20:23,598 --> 00:20:24,933 Come here. See. 447 00:20:25,517 --> 00:20:27,811 All this is just for show. 448 00:20:27,977 --> 00:20:31,898 In reality, although I teach at the university and lead the opposition party, 449 00:20:31,981 --> 00:20:34,818 I control a telecommunication monopoly 450 00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:36,945 and own the most popular soccer team, 451 00:20:37,028 --> 00:20:38,822 the Tbilisi bauxite miners. 452 00:20:38,905 --> 00:20:42,492 Well, I gotta tell you, you really... You have a lot of people fooled. 453 00:20:42,575 --> 00:20:47,414 - You know, I mean, even Doyle. - Oh, secretary Doyle, he's so gullible. 454 00:20:47,497 --> 00:20:48,540 Yeah. 455 00:20:48,623 --> 00:20:52,085 If you told him that rava ganavlis was chakapuli, 456 00:20:52,168 --> 00:20:54,712 he would eat it up and ask for seconds. 457 00:20:54,796 --> 00:20:57,549 I can only hope that rava ganavlis is human shit. 458 00:20:57,632 --> 00:21:01,428 It is actually what you vomit after eating shit. 459 00:21:03,096 --> 00:21:04,764 I like your dimples. 460 00:21:12,397 --> 00:21:15,525 - This is fucking beast! - It's very interesting. 461 00:21:15,608 --> 00:21:19,112 Hey, put that on. All the cool guys wear the band's t-shirt. 462 00:21:19,195 --> 00:21:23,491 You know, the band's name translates to "panzer division." 463 00:21:23,992 --> 00:21:25,285 What? 464 00:21:32,625 --> 00:21:34,461 - I think maybe we should leave. - Uh-huh. 465 00:21:34,919 --> 00:21:36,546 Excuse us. Excuse me. 466 00:21:42,886 --> 00:21:44,387 Minna: What did you think of Nikolai? 467 00:21:44,471 --> 00:21:47,640 - Can I be uncharacteristically blunt with you? - I can't imagine what that... 468 00:21:47,724 --> 00:21:48,725 - The poison? - Yeah. 469 00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:51,644 It did not engorge only his face, 470 00:21:51,728 --> 00:21:53,480 - if you know what I mean. - I think I do. 471 00:21:53,563 --> 00:21:57,525 It also engorged his penis and made it very unusual texture of sea cucumber, 472 00:21:57,609 --> 00:22:00,195 - so it's great for vaginal orgasms. - Okay, minna. 473 00:22:00,278 --> 00:22:02,447 Which do you prefer, vaginal or clitoral orgasms? 474 00:22:02,530 --> 00:22:04,449 You know, I just come and get it over with. 475 00:22:04,532 --> 00:22:06,451 Yes. You can come just from your mind? 476 00:22:06,534 --> 00:22:08,411 What can I do to get you to stop talking? 477 00:22:08,495 --> 00:22:09,537 Now? 478 00:22:11,122 --> 00:22:13,374 Well, you have to walk 25 miles for breast cancer 479 00:22:13,458 --> 00:22:15,835 and attend a wnba game, but I think we're gonna be okay. 480 00:22:15,919 --> 00:22:18,838 - What are you doing? That's my hand. - Amy, that morning 481 00:22:18,922 --> 00:22:22,175 when I heard you say that you were happiest curled up next to me, 482 00:22:22,258 --> 00:22:24,802 eating popcorn and watching downton Abbey. 483 00:22:25,136 --> 00:22:26,387 I figured it all out. 484 00:22:26,471 --> 00:22:28,890 Man: The next governor of Nevada, buddy Calhoun! 485 00:22:29,265 --> 00:22:31,100 I was just saying that for the cameras. 486 00:22:31,684 --> 00:22:33,061 Good evening, friends. 487 00:22:33,311 --> 00:22:35,271 After much soul searching, 488 00:22:35,355 --> 00:22:37,815 I am announcing tonight that I'm withdrawing 489 00:22:37,899 --> 00:22:39,359 - from the race for governor. - Nol 490 00:22:39,442 --> 00:22:40,442 no, no. 491 00:22:40,485 --> 00:22:44,280 I need to get out of this toxic world of politics 492 00:22:44,781 --> 00:22:49,786 and start to appreciate the things that really do matter in life. 493 00:22:50,328 --> 00:22:52,372 Like the love of the wonderful woman 494 00:22:52,455 --> 00:22:54,040 who has agreed to be my wife. 495 00:22:54,123 --> 00:22:56,125 Amy, darling, come on out here, honey. 496 00:23:08,972 --> 00:23:11,652 Murman's leading by more votes than there are people in the country. 497 00:23:11,724 --> 00:23:13,810 Yeah, maybe he's bussing them in from Chicago. 498 00:23:14,143 --> 00:23:16,479 This is not gonna stand. This election's going down 499 00:23:16,563 --> 00:23:18,439 like Eleanor Roosevelt at dinah shore weekend. 500 00:23:18,523 --> 00:23:20,125 Hey, ma'am, your phone is ringing right there. 501 00:23:20,149 --> 00:23:22,109 - Well, do I work for you? Just answer it. - Okay. 502 00:23:22,151 --> 00:23:26,072 Right? Look, you call Nikolai now. You tell him to start spackling his face 503 00:23:26,155 --> 00:23:27,824 for his inauguration speeches. 504 00:23:27,907 --> 00:23:29,325 - Gary, just get it. Okay? - I will. 505 00:23:29,409 --> 00:23:31,160 Gary. Gary... 506 00:23:31,244 --> 00:23:33,913 What the fuck is that? 507 00:23:33,997 --> 00:23:35,832 Please hold. It was an accident. 508 00:23:35,915 --> 00:23:37,667 - Mike voted, too, Mike voted, too. - What? 509 00:23:37,750 --> 00:23:38,936 - I can't believe you! - Stop it. 510 00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:41,671 You two ding-dongs look like you fingered the incredible hulk. 511 00:23:41,754 --> 00:23:43,673 It's murman. It's murman. 512 00:23:43,756 --> 00:23:44,757 God... 513 00:23:48,011 --> 00:23:49,655 - Hello, murman. - Murman: Madam president. 514 00:23:49,679 --> 00:23:51,848 I trust you are watching the returns. 515 00:23:51,931 --> 00:23:54,392 Yes, yes, yes. Listen, murman, um, 516 00:23:55,727 --> 00:23:58,771 as fond as I am of you personally, 517 00:24:00,315 --> 00:24:04,902 I really cannot accept your generous donation to my library fund. 518 00:24:04,986 --> 00:24:07,488 Madam president, let me tell you little story 519 00:24:07,572 --> 00:24:10,033 about growing up in the gurjaani countryside. 520 00:24:10,116 --> 00:24:12,261 You thought you caught a fish, it turned out to be a tire. 521 00:24:12,285 --> 00:24:14,829 The tire was full of fish. It's a great story. 522 00:24:14,912 --> 00:24:16,765 It's a very valuable lesson, but I really gotta go. 523 00:24:16,789 --> 00:24:18,207 Twenty million. 524 00:24:18,875 --> 00:24:22,211 Perhaps there could be a fountain or a snack shop. 525 00:24:23,129 --> 00:24:28,134 Well, murman, that is a big tire with a fuckload of fish in it. 526 00:24:28,968 --> 00:24:33,222 But please understand that whatever decision I make 527 00:24:33,306 --> 00:24:37,018 is gonna be in the interest of democracy and integrity... 528 00:24:37,101 --> 00:24:39,187 Yes, yes, yes. Sounds good. Great to hear. Bye. 529 00:24:40,313 --> 00:24:41,648 - Murman? - Mmm-hmm. 530 00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:45,401 - How much? - Twenty million. 531 00:24:45,735 --> 00:24:46,778 Yahtzee. 532 00:24:46,861 --> 00:24:50,865 I mean, they're both crooks. What's the difference? 533 00:24:51,366 --> 00:24:53,326 - $5 million. - Exactly. 534 00:24:53,409 --> 00:24:55,161 So, I have set the wheels in motion. 535 00:24:55,244 --> 00:24:57,413 In 10 minutes, there will be a joint press conference 536 00:24:57,497 --> 00:25:01,084 in which we will announce that the iec and usa 537 00:25:01,167 --> 00:25:03,228 do not think that the elections have been free and fair. 538 00:25:03,252 --> 00:25:04,587 Good luck. 539 00:25:07,256 --> 00:25:10,259 Well, that is very strong language, minna. 540 00:25:10,343 --> 00:25:11,511 - Yes. - Yes. 541 00:25:11,594 --> 00:25:13,888 And I wonder if we might phrase it a different way. 542 00:25:13,971 --> 00:25:15,682 For instance, perhaps we would say 543 00:25:15,765 --> 00:25:18,976 there have been certain irregularities in this election, yeah. 544 00:25:19,060 --> 00:25:20,186 - Yes. - Yes. 545 00:25:20,269 --> 00:25:22,772 And that is not uncommon for a young democracy. 546 00:25:22,855 --> 00:25:25,149 - Yes. - And that, therefore, 547 00:25:25,775 --> 00:25:30,071 we believe that murman is the uncontested winner. 548 00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:33,574 Now, are you aware that that is the exact opposite 549 00:25:33,658 --> 00:25:35,910 - of what you said just a moment ago? - Yes. 550 00:25:36,452 --> 00:25:39,997 But I've had time to reflect since that moment. 551 00:25:40,623 --> 00:25:45,920 My concern is, I wonder if your judgment is being clouded 552 00:25:46,003 --> 00:25:50,925 by your feelings that are brought on by Nikolai's lumpy poison cock. 553 00:25:51,968 --> 00:25:53,136 Oh, my god. 554 00:25:53,219 --> 00:25:55,680 Well, I will recuse myself. 555 00:25:55,763 --> 00:25:58,200 - Well, you don't need to recuse yourself. - Immediately, I will resign. 556 00:25:58,224 --> 00:25:59,410 I will. I will tender my resignation now. 557 00:25:59,434 --> 00:26:01,453 No, no, no. Let's not overreact. Just take a deep breath, minna. 558 00:26:01,477 --> 00:26:05,064 You're just in the middle of what we in america call... 559 00:26:05,148 --> 00:26:06,983 - A difficult situation. - A fuck fog. 560 00:26:07,066 --> 00:26:11,070 Yes, and that as well. Yeah, in Finland, we call this the fever of the sausage. 561 00:26:11,154 --> 00:26:14,741 - Okay, so then you get it. I get it. - So you won't tell anyone. 562 00:26:14,824 --> 00:26:16,743 - Selina, thank you so much. - No, no. 563 00:26:16,826 --> 00:26:18,870 - You are such a good friend. - Oh, well... 564 00:26:18,953 --> 00:26:22,039 You know, sometimes, I don't feel worthy of this friendship. 565 00:26:22,123 --> 00:26:25,460 Mmm. Well, sometimes, I feel that way, too. 566 00:26:31,299 --> 00:26:35,803 I mean, honestly, that is the most grotesque country I have ever been to. 567 00:26:35,887 --> 00:26:37,680 And I have been all over Florida. 568 00:26:37,764 --> 00:26:40,767 Hot in here, isn't it? Can we get them to turn up the air in this cabin? 569 00:26:40,850 --> 00:26:42,810 - Yes, ma'am. - My back is just killing me, too. 570 00:26:42,894 --> 00:26:45,480 Ma'am, you are not gonna believe this. 571 00:26:46,230 --> 00:26:47,774 - Mike. - What? 572 00:26:48,941 --> 00:26:50,735 - Forget it. Forget it. - Look at this. 573 00:26:50,818 --> 00:26:52,504 Before murman shalikashvili could be sworn in, 574 00:26:52,528 --> 00:26:54,363 he was arrested on live television. 575 00:26:55,782 --> 00:26:59,243 Well, murman's gonna have a lot of great stories 576 00:26:59,327 --> 00:27:00,912 to tell the firing squad. 577 00:27:00,995 --> 00:27:03,331 Seized by military elements loyal to Oleg petradze. 578 00:27:03,414 --> 00:27:06,542 - Wait a minute, is that our guide? - I think that's the guy I voted for. 579 00:27:06,626 --> 00:27:10,046 Wow. That's like Gary becoming president. 580 00:27:10,296 --> 00:27:14,550 - From the tea party. - No. Yeah. That is funny. 581 00:27:15,218 --> 00:27:16,260 Yeah. 582 00:27:16,677 --> 00:27:19,722 Also, I would be remiss not to thank president selina meyer, 583 00:27:19,806 --> 00:27:24,227 who not only assisted in the long, overdue ouster of murman shalikashvili, 584 00:27:24,310 --> 00:27:28,940 but also exposed his opponent as a ruthless, corporate oligarch 585 00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:34,237 and not the reformer some had hoped he would be. 586 00:27:34,570 --> 00:27:37,615 Ma'am, the library fund received a sizable donation 587 00:27:37,698 --> 00:27:41,160 from a Georgian aids foundation late last night. 588 00:27:41,244 --> 00:27:43,996 Sixty million Georgian iari. 589 00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:46,207 Yeah, that's worth about $20 million. 590 00:27:46,290 --> 00:27:49,544 Well, actually, since the coup, there's been a slight dip in the exchange rate. 591 00:27:49,627 --> 00:27:53,422 It's now worth approximately $389,000. 592 00:27:53,506 --> 00:27:54,757 Way to go, ma'am. 593 00:27:54,841 --> 00:27:59,345 Selina meyer is truly the godmother of the Caucasian spring. 594 00:28:00,096 --> 00:28:01,514 - Madam president. - Andrew. 595 00:28:01,597 --> 00:28:03,224 - UN-fucking-believable. - Yep. 596 00:28:04,851 --> 00:28:06,060 Selina: Thank you, everyone. 597 00:28:06,143 --> 00:28:10,022 All I did was stay focused on one simple goal. 598 00:28:10,106 --> 00:28:15,027 To free the peoples of the world from totalitarianism 599 00:28:15,111 --> 00:28:19,740 through open and free and transparent elections. 600 00:28:19,824 --> 00:28:24,579 And that, in a nutshell, is what I call the meyer doctrine. 601 00:28:26,330 --> 00:28:29,125 Thank you. Thank you very much.