1 00:00:06,132 --> 00:00:08,259 (Theme music playing) 2 00:00:18,436 --> 00:00:20,247 - Jonah: Take the apple, Mrs. Sherman! - (Sherman shrieks) 3 00:00:20,271 --> 00:00:22,291 - Reach out and take it. Take the apple. - Man: Mr. Ryan. 4 00:00:22,315 --> 00:00:24,775 Mr. Ryan, would you please step back to your podium? 5 00:00:24,901 --> 00:00:26,003 She wouldn't take the apple... 6 00:00:26,027 --> 00:00:30,156 Which one of you Johnny appledick shit for brains came up with that bit? 7 00:00:30,281 --> 00:00:33,618 Amy: Hi, ma'am, I just arrived here in winter blunderland. 8 00:00:33,701 --> 00:00:36,537 Selina: He looked like ike Turner handing Tina a snack. 9 00:00:36,621 --> 00:00:38,289 I think we've identified the key problem, 10 00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:40,750 which is that Jonah does not interact well with humans. 11 00:00:40,833 --> 00:00:43,586 No, I don't interact well with hag-ass old bitches. 12 00:00:43,669 --> 00:00:45,963 Do you realize that you just handed o'brien 13 00:00:46,047 --> 00:00:49,759 New Hampshire chained to a radiator with its twat shaved? 14 00:00:49,842 --> 00:00:51,719 - I'm hanging up! - I'm sorry, mom. 15 00:00:51,802 --> 00:00:53,197 You know what? On the positive side, 16 00:00:53,221 --> 00:00:57,475 now I can just try and concentrate on our little family weekend. 17 00:00:57,558 --> 00:01:00,478 - Just us meyers. - Well, then why is Gary here? 18 00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:01,854 I mean, no offense. 19 00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:04,398 - Gary's family, too. - Thank you. 20 00:01:04,482 --> 00:01:06,651 I'm just really excited to have this time 21 00:01:06,734 --> 00:01:10,279 for you and dad and monny to get to know the real Marjorie. 22 00:01:10,363 --> 00:01:13,324 I mean, fun Marjorie, not just Marjorie the secret service agent. 23 00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:16,035 Selina: Oh, I'm excited to get to know fun Marjorie, too. 24 00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:17,703 When is she arriving? 25 00:01:17,828 --> 00:01:19,372 (Both laughing) 26 00:01:20,498 --> 00:01:22,750 I'm just kidding. I'm just teasing. 27 00:01:25,002 --> 00:01:28,005 Selina: Whoo-hoo-hoo! The president is driving! 28 00:01:28,089 --> 00:01:29,423 - Whoo-hoo-hoo! - Gary: Look out! 29 00:01:29,507 --> 00:01:31,926 Bump! How about that? 30 00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:34,595 - Look! - Catherine: Oh, dad! Monny! 31 00:01:34,679 --> 00:01:35,721 Kitty cat! 32 00:01:35,846 --> 00:01:37,991 Selina: All right, so, the Chinese are gonna be here any minute. 33 00:01:38,015 --> 00:01:40,810 - Yeah. - Beijing has demanded complete secrecy. 34 00:01:40,893 --> 00:01:44,355 So, you're gonna have to keep Charles Ponzi and pussy riot away from me. 35 00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:46,857 We meyers are very resourceful. 36 00:01:46,941 --> 00:01:49,694 You do know you're not really a member of my family, right? 37 00:01:49,777 --> 00:01:50,903 - I do. - Right. 38 00:01:52,863 --> 00:01:56,367 What is that insanity you're putting all over the tree, Monica? 39 00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:59,620 Oh! This is my homemade cranberry and popcorn tinsel 40 00:01:59,704 --> 00:02:01,831 - that I like to call... - (Gasps) Popcornaments! 41 00:02:01,914 --> 00:02:03,708 Someone's been reading my blog! 42 00:02:03,791 --> 00:02:05,793 I just trademarked the word last week. 43 00:02:05,876 --> 00:02:08,212 It sounds delicious and it's adorable. 44 00:02:08,296 --> 00:02:09,588 So, I'm gonna call it delorable. 45 00:02:09,714 --> 00:02:11,048 See? We can all do it. 46 00:02:11,132 --> 00:02:12,466 - Hey, mom. - Yes? 47 00:02:12,550 --> 00:02:15,052 I just wanted to let you know that Marjorie is a raw food vegan 48 00:02:15,136 --> 00:02:16,679 and she's turned me into one. 49 00:02:16,762 --> 00:02:19,348 Oh! So, that's two things she's turned you into. 50 00:02:19,432 --> 00:02:23,311 Yeah, we just thought maybe we could have, like, a sham ham for Christmas. 51 00:02:23,394 --> 00:02:25,438 What is that, sweetie? Is that like tofurkey? 52 00:02:25,563 --> 00:02:27,315 No, ma'am, tofurkey is cooked. 53 00:02:27,398 --> 00:02:30,151 This is a raw log made of mushrooms and soaked walnuts. 54 00:02:30,234 --> 00:02:31,485 But it tastes like a ham? 55 00:02:31,569 --> 00:02:32,945 - Yeah, it's close. - Not at all. 56 00:02:33,070 --> 00:02:36,824 We could all cut back on our meat... I'm terribly sorry, Marjorie. 57 00:02:36,907 --> 00:02:38,719 - I thought you were selina. - That's okay, sir. 58 00:02:38,743 --> 00:02:40,053 People make that mistake constantly. 59 00:02:40,077 --> 00:02:42,246 How about you touch neither of us? 60 00:02:42,330 --> 00:02:45,624 Okay, I'm gonna go check on that funky food order and... 61 00:02:45,750 --> 00:02:48,836 Mom, I wanted to ask you about something, but I can just talk to dad about it. 62 00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:50,129 He's better with money stuff. 63 00:02:50,254 --> 00:02:52,048 What money stuff? 64 00:02:52,131 --> 00:02:54,550 Well, it's just that there's so much of it 65 00:02:54,633 --> 00:02:56,445 that it's really tough to know what to do with it. 66 00:02:56,469 --> 00:02:58,947 Uncle George was saying that maybe I should sell the palm beach house, 67 00:02:58,971 --> 00:03:00,282 so that I could pay off the estate taxes... 68 00:03:00,306 --> 00:03:04,226 Palm beach house, honey? That was my daddy's favorite house. 69 00:03:04,310 --> 00:03:07,521 Actually, Lee, right now, is a fantastic time to sell. 70 00:03:07,605 --> 00:03:10,608 And, Catherine, do you remember that Brazil hotel chain? 71 00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:12,360 - What? - I told them about your veganism 72 00:03:12,443 --> 00:03:15,363 and they decided to convert the whole thing to an eco-resort. 73 00:03:15,446 --> 00:03:18,074 - No, they didn't. - I have a prospectus in my briefcase. 74 00:03:18,157 --> 00:03:20,951 I'll tell you what. I think we should not talk about money 75 00:03:21,035 --> 00:03:24,080 during our sort of pre-Christmas Christmas celebration. 76 00:03:24,163 --> 00:03:27,124 Uh, Catherine and Marjorie, can you gals go outside 77 00:03:27,208 --> 00:03:29,668 and get some wood to start a fire? 78 00:03:29,794 --> 00:03:32,421 Ma'am, your daughter's dazzling eyes can start a fire themselves. 79 00:03:32,505 --> 00:03:34,215 Okay, well, that's terrifying, 80 00:03:34,298 --> 00:03:36,735 but I actually do think we need to get some wood from outside. 81 00:03:36,759 --> 00:03:38,677 Yes, thanks. Gary, we got to go. 82 00:03:40,971 --> 00:03:44,058 - Okay, are the Chinese here yet? - Delayed on the road, ma'am. 83 00:03:44,141 --> 00:03:46,268 Presumably driving slowly and not using their signals. 84 00:03:46,352 --> 00:03:48,437 Hey, any updates on debralee's sonogram? 85 00:03:48,521 --> 00:03:50,481 Nothing. I'm going crazy. 86 00:03:50,606 --> 00:03:52,900 What do you got going there, depravey Crockett? 87 00:03:52,983 --> 00:03:55,277 You can't go in with a plan. The knife tells you. 88 00:03:55,361 --> 00:03:56,987 Okay, so, lay it on me, Ben. 89 00:03:57,113 --> 00:03:58,553 It's all been pre-negotiated, ma'am. 90 00:03:58,656 --> 00:04:00,336 In exchange for you lifting the sanctions, 91 00:04:00,366 --> 00:04:02,910 China's agreed to build an electronics plant in Ohio 92 00:04:02,993 --> 00:04:05,329 and an engine assembly plant in north Carolina. 93 00:04:05,454 --> 00:04:06,997 Okay, so, we got north Carolina, Ohio. 94 00:04:07,123 --> 00:04:08,283 That's the presidency for me. 95 00:04:08,332 --> 00:04:10,042 And as per usual, we raised the issue 96 00:04:10,167 --> 00:04:12,878 of Dalai Lama and the panchen lama returning to Tibet. 97 00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:15,297 - Dalai Lama, I'm so sick of him. - He's insufferable. 98 00:04:15,381 --> 00:04:17,591 Do we have a press release ready to go, Mike? 99 00:04:17,675 --> 00:04:21,387 All I got to do is press send and we... Actually, I do need to spell-check this thing. 100 00:04:21,512 --> 00:04:23,949 Ma'am, minna hakkinen is through security and headed this way. 101 00:04:23,973 --> 00:04:27,810 How is it that that asperger salad inserted herself into this situation? 102 00:04:27,893 --> 00:04:30,133 President lu trusts her. Likes what she did with the imf. 103 00:04:30,187 --> 00:04:32,481 No, I'll tell you what he likes. Nordic beav. 104 00:04:32,565 --> 00:04:34,191 - Irresistible. Ooh! - (Door opens) 105 00:04:35,025 --> 00:04:36,485 What? Oh. 106 00:04:36,569 --> 00:04:38,154 - Minna! - Selina. 107 00:04:38,237 --> 00:04:40,322 - Hello. - Hello. I have not seen you 108 00:04:40,406 --> 00:04:42,526 since you failed to vote for me to be head of the imf. 109 00:04:42,575 --> 00:04:44,326 And, oh, you changed your hair. 110 00:04:44,410 --> 00:04:46,328 Thank you, yes. I have more highlights. 111 00:04:46,412 --> 00:04:49,665 And you changed your eyelids. You had oculoplasty. 112 00:04:51,250 --> 00:04:53,335 - You look more alert. - Yeah... (Stammers) 113 00:04:53,419 --> 00:04:55,546 The latest poll numbers are in 114 00:04:55,671 --> 00:04:57,751 and you've fallen 20 points behind the widow sherman. 115 00:04:57,840 --> 00:05:00,134 We have to keep you away from people. 116 00:05:00,217 --> 00:05:03,762 Yeah, surround you with some trees. Make you look human-sized. 117 00:05:03,888 --> 00:05:07,516 Yeah, back to the natural habitat your nitwit mother found you in, 118 00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:09,727 you fucking shaved sasquatch. 119 00:05:09,852 --> 00:05:13,248 But the good news is that you're only three points behind Jon h. Ryan, whoever that is. 120 00:05:13,272 --> 00:05:16,609 Hey, slick. What's blondie's situation? 121 00:05:16,734 --> 00:05:18,694 Does she choke for coke? 122 00:05:19,945 --> 00:05:22,364 - You should ask her. - Yeah. 123 00:05:22,740 --> 00:05:24,492 Minna: It's been a very hard year. 124 00:05:24,575 --> 00:05:26,702 The menopause has really taken a hold of me. 125 00:05:26,785 --> 00:05:30,206 - Is that so? Yeah. - Yes. You know... you're menopausal. 126 00:05:30,289 --> 00:05:32,374 - What? - You're menopausal as well. 127 00:05:32,458 --> 00:05:33,751 - No, I'm not. - Well... 128 00:05:35,544 --> 00:05:36,921 No, you are. 129 00:05:37,046 --> 00:05:38,881 No, you're older than me, so I... 130 00:05:38,964 --> 00:05:41,383 No, I am actually two years younger. 131 00:05:41,467 --> 00:05:44,845 I still have regular periods, but myjoints, they're very swollen. 132 00:05:44,929 --> 00:05:47,169 You know, iwonder if we can just get back to the Chinese. 133 00:05:47,473 --> 00:05:50,684 The Chinese may try to change the terms of the done deal. 134 00:05:50,768 --> 00:05:52,019 - Really? - Yes. 135 00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:53,521 - But if they do this... - Yeah? 136 00:05:53,604 --> 00:05:55,940 You are simply ready to perform the walkout 137 00:05:56,065 --> 00:05:57,959 to convince the Chinese that you will not negotiate 138 00:05:57,983 --> 00:05:59,823 if the terms of the deal are not satisfactory. 139 00:05:59,902 --> 00:06:01,820 - Okay. - You say the terms are unacceptable 140 00:06:01,946 --> 00:06:04,240 and you take both your palms and you place them 141 00:06:04,323 --> 00:06:06,033 firmly on the table like that. 142 00:06:06,116 --> 00:06:08,619 - Oh, god. - Then you walk out. 143 00:06:08,744 --> 00:06:11,330 And then someone must say, "this is unprecedented. 144 00:06:11,455 --> 00:06:13,290 - "She never does this." - Ben can do that. 145 00:06:13,415 --> 00:06:16,043 - Who, me? - It is much harder than it sounds. 146 00:06:16,126 --> 00:06:17,878 - Perhaps we should rehearse? - Absolutely. 147 00:06:17,962 --> 00:06:20,381 So, "this is unacceptable!" 148 00:06:20,464 --> 00:06:22,675 And then, uh, iwalk out. 149 00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:25,427 No, that is not credible. You try again. 150 00:06:25,511 --> 00:06:28,055 - This is unacceptable! - Mmm-hmm. 151 00:06:28,138 --> 00:06:30,766 No, you see, that's the same, but it's just louder. 152 00:06:30,849 --> 00:06:34,144 - She never does this. - Oh, no, that is good. Now, that is convincing. 153 00:06:34,603 --> 00:06:36,647 Selina: Hey, girlies. Catherine: Mom. 154 00:06:36,772 --> 00:06:37,999 - Yes, honey? - I want you to open your gift. 155 00:06:38,023 --> 00:06:40,609 Since technically, it's early Christmas Eve, I got you something. 156 00:06:40,693 --> 00:06:42,528 What have we got here? 157 00:06:46,031 --> 00:06:48,867 It was used in 1907 at the second hague convention. 158 00:06:48,993 --> 00:06:51,745 I figured you could use it to sign important peace treaties 159 00:06:51,829 --> 00:06:53,289 when you're officially elected. 160 00:06:53,372 --> 00:06:55,499 It's actually lovely, Catherine. 161 00:06:55,624 --> 00:06:58,877 Amex gave me this crazy new card that's made out of black metal. 162 00:06:59,003 --> 00:07:04,133 It truly shows the special mommy-daughter bond that you and I share. 163 00:07:04,633 --> 00:07:05,843 (Kisses) 164 00:07:06,343 --> 00:07:08,178 - So good. - I have an idea. 165 00:07:08,304 --> 00:07:11,181 Marjorie, why don't you open my gift? 166 00:07:11,307 --> 00:07:13,100 You got Marjorie a gift. 167 00:07:13,183 --> 00:07:16,145 Marjorie's part of the family now, aren't you, pal? 168 00:07:16,228 --> 00:07:19,356 Yeah, I got Marjorie a gift, too. Um, right, Gary? 169 00:07:19,481 --> 00:07:20,524 - Yeah. - Yeah. 170 00:07:20,649 --> 00:07:22,359 - It's beautiful. - Stuck in security. 171 00:07:22,484 --> 00:07:24,778 Stuck in security. I don't know how that happened. 172 00:07:24,862 --> 00:07:27,582 - I got the tracking number. - Okay. Let's see what you got. (Laughs) 173 00:07:30,618 --> 00:07:31,952 Ah, it's an old book. 174 00:07:32,036 --> 00:07:34,997 - Do you like it? - I am overcome with emotion. 175 00:07:35,497 --> 00:07:36,790 Oh, my god. 176 00:07:36,874 --> 00:07:39,543 It's a first edition gertrude Stein. 177 00:07:39,668 --> 00:07:40,948 That's Marjorie's favorite poet. 178 00:07:41,003 --> 00:07:43,464 - How did you know that, dad? - I listen. 179 00:07:43,547 --> 00:07:44,983 Selina: I want to put this some place special. 180 00:07:45,007 --> 00:07:46,133 -Hey. 181 00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:49,136 I noticed two golf carts filled with Asian people. 182 00:07:49,219 --> 00:07:53,891 - Yeah, we should go. - That's the kitchen crew and the chef. 183 00:07:54,016 --> 00:07:55,976 - They wear really nice suits. - Yeah. 184 00:07:56,060 --> 00:07:59,229 - Okay, I want to go find Marjorie's gift. - Me, too. 185 00:07:59,313 --> 00:08:01,982 Minna: So, I will make the introductions. Selina: Yeah. 186 00:08:02,066 --> 00:08:04,151 - You're wearing that? - What? 187 00:08:04,234 --> 00:08:05,527 Yeah. Oh. 188 00:08:05,736 --> 00:08:07,905 (Speaking mandarin) 189 00:08:11,241 --> 00:08:14,578 This is president lu chi-jang... 190 00:08:14,703 --> 00:08:17,474 - Studied chemical engineering. - Secretary general of the communist party... 191 00:08:17,498 --> 00:08:20,226 - Currently on his second wife, enjoys tennis. - Thank you for traveling... 192 00:08:20,250 --> 00:08:21,895 Paramount leader of the people's republic of China. 193 00:08:21,919 --> 00:08:23,563 - This is zhang shengxi. - He collects art. 194 00:08:23,587 --> 00:08:25,899 - Premier of the state council. - His son is a freshman at Georgetown. 195 00:08:25,923 --> 00:08:28,963 - This is xao jintong, lst rank vice premier... - London school of economics. 196 00:08:29,051 --> 00:08:32,596 He enjoys fly fishing and his favorite snack is freeze-dried strawberries. 197 00:08:32,680 --> 00:08:35,349 Thank you. I didn't get any of that except strawberries. 198 00:08:35,432 --> 00:08:37,601 - Okay. - The exchanging of gifts. 199 00:08:37,685 --> 00:08:40,020 Translator: This is a depiction of the most popular 200 00:08:40,104 --> 00:08:43,023 children's cartoon character in China, sad piglet. 201 00:08:43,107 --> 00:08:45,359 It looks just like my daughter, Catherine. 202 00:08:45,442 --> 00:08:49,363 Your daughter is a beautiful woman and this is a piglet. 203 00:08:49,446 --> 00:08:52,199 - It's upset. - Oh, no, no, no. I... I love it. 204 00:08:52,282 --> 00:08:55,536 Believe me, if you say "seaworld" to Catherine, 205 00:08:55,619 --> 00:08:57,788 you will understand what I'm talking about. 206 00:08:57,871 --> 00:09:00,124 This is just lovely. Thank you very much. 207 00:09:00,207 --> 00:09:01,291 And now our gift. 208 00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:03,210 - (Speaking mandarin) - Oh. 209 00:09:03,293 --> 00:09:05,879 - This is a silk robe from the qing dynasty. - Oh. 210 00:09:05,963 --> 00:09:07,881 The dragon symbolizes good fortune. 211 00:09:07,965 --> 00:09:10,217 Your generosity is overwhelming. 212 00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:12,219 - And so... - This is... 213 00:09:12,302 --> 00:09:15,639 Seriously? This is beyond what we imagined. 214 00:09:15,723 --> 00:09:17,558 Or prepared for. 215 00:09:17,641 --> 00:09:19,893 This is a tapestry from qing dynasty. 216 00:09:19,977 --> 00:09:25,232 The central image, the peony, is a symbol of royalty and virtue. 217 00:09:25,315 --> 00:09:29,653 The peony... this is exquisite and I really hope that's all. 218 00:09:29,737 --> 00:09:31,214 - (Laughs) - (Translator speaking mandarin) 219 00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:34,408 - And now our gifts for you. - (Continues translating) 220 00:09:34,491 --> 00:09:37,995 This is an American geode, 221 00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:44,960 which symbolizes the solid foundation that we have between our two countries. 222 00:09:45,627 --> 00:09:51,091 And it sparkles like we hope our conversation will sparkle. 223 00:09:51,175 --> 00:09:53,802 Thank you for this rock. 224 00:09:59,349 --> 00:10:04,521 And this wine from napa valley, California. 225 00:10:06,774 --> 00:10:08,942 And this additional wine, 226 00:10:09,026 --> 00:10:13,489 also from a local vineyard in, uh, New Zealand, 227 00:10:13,864 --> 00:10:16,450 which is local to us, 228 00:10:16,533 --> 00:10:21,121 and it's also close to Asia, which makes it local to you 229 00:10:21,205 --> 00:10:23,957 as we are all local friends. 230 00:10:24,041 --> 00:10:26,460 - Thank you. - She's just being polite. 231 00:10:26,543 --> 00:10:29,213 - President lu does not drink. - Oh, god. 232 00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:33,467 Jang, there's a common saying here in america, 233 00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:35,469 "but wait, there's more." 234 00:10:35,552 --> 00:10:38,305 So, I would like to present our final gift to you. 235 00:10:38,388 --> 00:10:39,556 (Gary groans) 236 00:10:39,681 --> 00:10:43,477 A very meaningful and historic pen 237 00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:47,689 from the second hague conference of 1907. 238 00:10:48,565 --> 00:10:50,567 Gary, the box. 239 00:10:50,651 --> 00:10:52,903 - What? Really? - Yes. 240 00:10:55,697 --> 00:10:58,742 - Oh! - This is a very worthy gift. 241 00:10:58,826 --> 00:11:01,328 - Good. - It is historically significant and apt. 242 00:11:01,411 --> 00:11:03,831 Gold is a very auspicious color for the Chinese. 243 00:11:03,914 --> 00:11:06,083 - It signifies prosperity and good luck. - Oh, great. 244 00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:09,670 - You have pleased them. - Oh, I'm pleased, then. Great. 245 00:11:09,753 --> 00:11:12,840 And now they are discussing how casually you are dressed. 246 00:11:12,923 --> 00:11:18,554 They say you look like a prisoner or a pirate. 247 00:11:20,722 --> 00:11:22,599 An exercise book. 248 00:11:23,225 --> 00:11:25,352 Selina: Why did minnapause not warn us 249 00:11:25,435 --> 00:11:27,515 that the Chinese were going to out-gift us like that? 250 00:11:27,563 --> 00:11:29,898 - Our intel suggests that they hated you. - Yeah. 251 00:11:29,982 --> 00:11:31,775 Ma'am, Dan and Amy for you. 252 00:11:31,859 --> 00:11:34,194 - What? - Dan: Ma'am, Jonah shot himself in the foot. 253 00:11:34,278 --> 00:11:36,530 Oh, my god. What did he do this time? 254 00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:39,241 No, he literally shot himself in the foot. We're in the er. 255 00:11:39,324 --> 00:11:41,285 Amy: Turn on CNN, ma'am. It's on right now. 256 00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:43,203 Turn on the... 257 00:11:43,287 --> 00:11:45,927 Jonah: These are the woods where I used to hunt with my stepfather. 258 00:11:46,957 --> 00:11:48,757 - And he taught me the proper... - (G u nshot) 259 00:11:49,835 --> 00:11:51,044 - Oh. - Mike: Jesus! 260 00:11:51,128 --> 00:11:52,462 - Oh, my god. - I'm okay. 261 00:11:52,546 --> 00:11:53,672 (Laughing) 262 00:11:54,673 --> 00:11:56,383 Selina: Oh, my god. 263 00:11:56,466 --> 00:11:59,928 - It's not funny, Ben. - I know, it's terrible. 264 00:12:00,012 --> 00:12:02,532 - A little bit of blood. - Richard: You are, it's all over the place. 265 00:12:02,556 --> 00:12:04,308 Sherman: Jonah shot himself in the eye 266 00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:06,768 with a rubber band in second grade. 267 00:12:06,852 --> 00:12:10,397 I tell him now what I told him then, guns can be dangerous. 268 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:12,107 We 're all praying for his recovery. 269 00:12:12,190 --> 00:12:14,192 So, lay it on me. How bad is it? 270 00:12:14,276 --> 00:12:16,612 It's a complicated fracture. Shattered some bone. 271 00:12:16,695 --> 00:12:19,489 - They say it's gonna take... - No, not for him, for me. 272 00:12:19,573 --> 00:12:22,159 Right. Critical condition, but we 're not throwing in the... 273 00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:23,803 Okay, I'm not listening to anymore of this. 274 00:12:23,827 --> 00:12:25,621 That's New Hampshire for o'brien. 275 00:12:25,704 --> 00:12:27,956 - We got to have those factories now. - Ni hao. 276 00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:30,160 President lu requests to go on a nature walk with you. 277 00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:32,169 Well, I'm the president. I don't walk. 278 00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:35,130 He is also the president and he likes to walk. 279 00:12:35,213 --> 00:12:36,298 Ugh. On a walk? 280 00:12:36,381 --> 00:12:39,134 Camp David is where president eisenhower came 281 00:12:39,217 --> 00:12:41,470 to recover after his heart attack. 282 00:12:41,553 --> 00:12:43,764 - (Translating) - Yeah. (Gasping) 283 00:12:44,890 --> 00:12:46,600 Is he okay? 284 00:12:46,683 --> 00:12:50,437 President... he's pass... he's dead. He's long gone. 285 00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:53,649 Now this path was originally used by fdr for his morning strolls. 286 00:12:53,732 --> 00:12:55,817 Or rolls, I should say. 287 00:12:55,901 --> 00:12:59,112 Uh, do you have more gum? Can I burn a piece of gum? 288 00:12:59,196 --> 00:13:00,822 May I chew gum with you? 289 00:13:02,366 --> 00:13:04,785 Thank you. Chinese gum? 290 00:13:06,203 --> 00:13:07,704 Pretty cool. Never had it. 291 00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:12,876 Oh, wow. It's got a kick. 292 00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:14,336 Who knew? 293 00:13:14,419 --> 00:13:16,129 Thank... oh, hang on. 294 00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:18,465 I have just the thing. 295 00:13:19,174 --> 00:13:21,527 - Woman: (Recorded message) Gracias. - Sorry, no, no. Wrong language. 296 00:13:21,551 --> 00:13:25,847 Selina: Well, we need to work together to better engage with North Korea 297 00:13:25,931 --> 00:13:28,892 because the north Koreans are people like us. 298 00:13:28,976 --> 00:13:31,186 Except without any food. 299 00:13:31,269 --> 00:13:32,312 Hi, mom. 300 00:13:32,396 --> 00:13:34,082 - Oh, I'm so happy to see you. - Oh. No, no. 301 00:13:34,106 --> 00:13:38,276 Just to be clear, my girlfriend and I aren't just vegan, we're raw vegan, 302 00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:43,031 which means no meat, no dairy, and absolutely nothing cooked at all. 303 00:13:43,115 --> 00:13:45,409 (Speaking mandarin) 304 00:13:45,492 --> 00:13:47,494 - Thank you. - Okay, good. 305 00:13:47,577 --> 00:13:51,081 Um, mom, come back soon, okay? Monica's making some nutmeg soy butter. 306 00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:53,250 Oh, how wonderful. Thank you. 307 00:13:54,126 --> 00:13:59,965 Ah, jang, that was my daughter and she obviously did not recognize you. 308 00:14:00,048 --> 00:14:04,136 She doesn't understand anything about global politics. 309 00:14:04,219 --> 00:14:08,557 My family is here as a cover story. 310 00:14:11,852 --> 00:14:14,021 No, but I didn't... I didn't do that. 311 00:14:14,104 --> 00:14:16,565 I'm not... I didn't make that face. 312 00:14:16,648 --> 00:14:19,860 Shall we carry on this way? 313 00:14:19,943 --> 00:14:22,529 Can you translate "we need to get a new translator"? 314 00:14:22,779 --> 00:14:24,906 Andrew: Marvin gardens. Monica: You want it? 315 00:14:24,990 --> 00:14:27,242 Catherine, can I borrow 200 monopoly dollars? 316 00:14:27,325 --> 00:14:29,369 - Oh, everybody's still awake. - Andrew: Hey. 317 00:14:29,453 --> 00:14:30,829 - Monica: Hi. - Hi. 318 00:14:30,912 --> 00:14:33,623 Is that Marjorie's gift from security? 319 00:14:35,959 --> 00:14:37,044 Yes. 320 00:14:38,420 --> 00:14:40,630 Ma'am, I mean, you really didn't need to. 321 00:14:43,258 --> 00:14:45,886 - (Catherine gasping) - Ma'am, this is stunning. 322 00:14:45,969 --> 00:14:48,972 Well, it's... it's vintage. 323 00:14:49,056 --> 00:14:51,516 Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh. 324 00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:54,728 Feels like it was woven out of Catherine's silken hair. Feel this. 325 00:14:54,811 --> 00:14:57,564 - Aw. - I thought you might enjoy something... 326 00:14:57,647 --> 00:15:00,150 - Monica: Oh, my god. - That was like her hair. 327 00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:02,569 - Thank you. Thank you so much. - Oh, you're welcome. Ah. 328 00:15:02,652 --> 00:15:04,821 Catherine: Mom, I can't believe that. It's gorgeous. 329 00:15:04,905 --> 00:15:06,632 - I got to go to bed. - Monica: It was my turn. 330 00:15:06,656 --> 00:15:08,575 - Good night. - Good night. 331 00:15:08,658 --> 00:15:11,369 You know that's government property, right? 332 00:15:11,453 --> 00:15:13,997 - You just committed a federal crime. - Catherine: It's real. 333 00:15:18,752 --> 00:15:21,463 - You got to see this. - Jesus, those are your pajamas? 334 00:15:21,546 --> 00:15:24,007 It's the outfit I picture when I'm trying not to cum. 335 00:15:24,091 --> 00:15:26,009 - Who's that? - Oh... 336 00:15:26,093 --> 00:15:28,428 Announcer: Judy sherman claims she's for New Hampshire, 337 00:15:28,512 --> 00:15:30,198 - but what's her real agenda? - What is this? 338 00:15:30,222 --> 00:15:32,766 You need to be more careful. Guns can be dangerous. 339 00:15:32,849 --> 00:15:37,270 Announcer: On election day, tell Judy sherman you care about freedom. 340 00:15:37,354 --> 00:15:39,606 - What the fuck is going on? - Look, it's everywhere. 341 00:15:39,689 --> 00:15:42,109 An nou ncer: Sherman claims she's for New Hampshire... 342 00:15:42,192 --> 00:15:43,902 Oh, my god. Hey. 343 00:15:46,822 --> 00:15:48,532 Amy: It's the nra. 344 00:15:49,241 --> 00:15:51,284 It's a Christmas miracle. 345 00:15:52,994 --> 00:15:54,037 (Exhales) 346 00:15:54,871 --> 00:15:57,999 All right, well, I'm gonna get back to this, so I'll see you later. 347 00:15:58,500 --> 00:16:01,461 Okay, Kent, best guess, is New Hampshire back in play? 348 00:16:01,545 --> 00:16:04,506 Ma'am, I don't even use the colloquial phrase "I guess." So... 349 00:16:04,589 --> 00:16:07,217 - Get Dan and Amy right now. - The Chinese are ready. 350 00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:08,343 She never knocks. 351 00:16:08,426 --> 00:16:11,847 Uh, minna, I am right in the middle of something. 352 00:16:11,930 --> 00:16:15,016 Selina, do I need to remind you how sensitive the Chinese are to promptness? 353 00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:17,978 Then why is my wonton soup so cold every time they deliver it? 354 00:16:18,061 --> 00:16:19,104 What? 355 00:16:19,187 --> 00:16:23,650 Minna, I'm in the middle of an international emergency. 356 00:16:23,733 --> 00:16:25,360 - Um, it's in the middle east. - Shh. 357 00:16:25,443 --> 00:16:27,404 It is in Kuwait and that's all I can say. 358 00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:28,780 - Kuwait? - Yes. 359 00:16:28,864 --> 00:16:30,490 That is so strange. 360 00:16:30,574 --> 00:16:33,660 Because Amir al-khabat and myself, we follow each other on Instagram. 361 00:16:33,743 --> 00:16:36,705 Only five minutes ago, he posted a picture of his dinner salad. 362 00:16:37,455 --> 00:16:42,377 Ah, well, it happened right after he had that salad, in fact. 363 00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:45,088 - Sort of an intermezzo emergency. - (Phone buzzes) 364 00:16:45,172 --> 00:16:47,174 - I got Dan. - Ai-egan. 365 00:16:47,257 --> 00:16:49,885 - Yeah, the ambassador to Kuwait's liaison. - Right. 366 00:16:49,968 --> 00:16:53,138 Thank you. Assalam-alaikum, Dan. 367 00:16:53,221 --> 00:16:55,390 - Okay, I will take them for a walk. - Selina: Yeah. 368 00:16:55,473 --> 00:16:57,100 Yeah. Okay. 369 00:16:57,184 --> 00:16:58,560 Kent: Thank you. 370 00:16:58,643 --> 00:17:00,937 - Okay, so, now we love the nra. - (Door closes) 371 00:17:01,146 --> 00:17:03,315 (Speaking mandarin) 372 00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:05,600 President meyer will be back as soon as she is finished 373 00:17:05,650 --> 00:17:07,861 with her important call with prime minister al-khabat. 374 00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:13,033 Oh, there she is with her daughter. 375 00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:19,873 (All talking at once) 376 00:17:20,999 --> 00:17:22,792 Minna: The Chinese are very upset. 377 00:17:23,126 --> 00:17:24,437 They have changed the terms of the deal. 378 00:17:24,461 --> 00:17:26,755 - What? - The Chinese request the United States 379 00:17:26,838 --> 00:17:30,133 drop its objections to China's claim of the diaoyu islands. 380 00:17:30,217 --> 00:17:32,302 How do I put this delicately? 381 00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:36,514 The Chinese were very disturbed by a recent incident. 382 00:17:36,598 --> 00:17:37,849 What? What incident? 383 00:17:38,642 --> 00:17:40,268 With your daughter. 384 00:17:40,352 --> 00:17:45,232 Oh, my god. Minna, seriously, that was a complete honest mistake. 385 00:17:45,315 --> 00:17:46,733 Catherine was just confused. 386 00:17:46,816 --> 00:17:49,903 But you are her mother. You did not stop her. 387 00:17:49,986 --> 00:17:53,114 How could I have stopped her? I had to let her finish. 388 00:17:53,198 --> 00:17:57,160 You're a mother. You've got a son. I'm sure you've done it before. 389 00:17:57,244 --> 00:17:58,721 - You've been in this position. - No, I have not. 390 00:17:58,745 --> 00:18:02,666 This happens occasionally in Iceland, but there, it's just an accident. 391 00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:04,668 - What? - What? 392 00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:07,587 God, this was their real demand from the beginning. 393 00:18:07,671 --> 00:18:09,923 I mean, those islands didn't come out of nowhere. 394 00:18:10,006 --> 00:18:11,925 Actually, they did. The Chinese created islands 395 00:18:12,008 --> 00:18:13,677 by piling sediment from under the sea... 396 00:18:13,802 --> 00:18:16,096 Madam president, you can't give them these islands. 397 00:18:16,179 --> 00:18:17,931 It'll destabilize the whole region. 398 00:18:18,014 --> 00:18:20,183 Will you please go and talk to chi-jang and try... 399 00:18:20,267 --> 00:18:23,270 I will try, but I don't know how much I'm going to be able to get his ear. 400 00:18:23,353 --> 00:18:26,273 But what you're gonna need to do is let him get a word in. 401 00:18:26,356 --> 00:18:30,026 Okay, well, you know what? This reminds me of negotiations between India and Bhutan. 402 00:18:30,151 --> 00:18:32,672 - Okay, this is what I'm talking about. - Bhutan was being very stubborn. 403 00:18:32,696 --> 00:18:34,340 So, I've got to go check on my other prom date. 404 00:18:34,364 --> 00:18:35,782 Okay? I just... 405 00:18:35,865 --> 00:18:38,285 - Yes? - I'm sorry, do you know where I can get 406 00:18:38,368 --> 00:18:40,120 anymore of this amazing Chinese gum? 407 00:18:40,203 --> 00:18:41,621 It's nicotine gum. 408 00:18:41,705 --> 00:18:42,872 Oh, no. 409 00:18:52,048 --> 00:18:54,634 Selina: Well, that does not change the fact 410 00:18:54,718 --> 00:18:58,972 that our friends in Japan still have claims to the diaoyu islands. 411 00:18:59,055 --> 00:19:03,560 President lu insists dropping your objections must be part of any deal. 412 00:19:05,228 --> 00:19:07,147 - Well, that is unacceptable. - (Pounds table) 413 00:19:07,230 --> 00:19:09,983 - Unacceptable! - She never does this. 414 00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:12,569 I mean, I will storm out. Here I go. 415 00:19:15,405 --> 00:19:17,907 No way. It's unacceptable! 416 00:19:19,909 --> 00:19:21,161 This is not happening. 417 00:19:21,244 --> 00:19:24,039 - In all honesty, she's never done this. - (Door slams) 418 00:19:25,999 --> 00:19:27,167 (Speaking mandarin) 419 00:19:27,250 --> 00:19:29,711 I don't know the Chinese word for it... 420 00:19:30,086 --> 00:19:32,714 But the president's lady fruit is rotting. 421 00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:35,763 I know two million sounds like a lot, sweetie. 422 00:19:35,884 --> 00:19:41,014 It's not. It's a small price to pay to save the Brazilian rainforest. 423 00:19:41,097 --> 00:19:44,017 But aren't you cutting down the rainforest in order to build the resort? 424 00:19:44,100 --> 00:19:47,354 So we can conserve the rest. 425 00:19:47,437 --> 00:19:49,606 It's a virtuous cycle. 426 00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:51,775 - Well, I guess that makes sense. - Selina: Hey! Hey! 427 00:19:51,858 --> 00:19:52,859 Catherine: Hi, mom. 428 00:19:52,942 --> 00:19:55,195 What are you guys doing all the way out here? 429 00:19:55,278 --> 00:19:56,529 We can talk about this later. 430 00:19:56,613 --> 00:19:58,448 I'll leave the pamphlets on your pillow. 431 00:19:58,573 --> 00:20:00,742 - Thanks, dad. - Darling. Lee. 432 00:20:01,951 --> 00:20:03,453 Okay, listen to me. 433 00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:08,041 If you want to get advice or talk about money, you can come to me, okay? 434 00:20:08,124 --> 00:20:10,126 I've got the whole treasury department. 435 00:20:10,251 --> 00:20:14,547 And they're, you know... They've been better, I realize. 436 00:20:14,631 --> 00:20:17,884 I mean, daddy loves you, sweetheart, 437 00:20:17,967 --> 00:20:21,054 but he's a crook. 438 00:20:21,137 --> 00:20:22,555 - I know. - Right? 439 00:20:22,639 --> 00:20:24,557 - Oh, excuse me. - I just thought I could... 440 00:20:24,641 --> 00:20:27,227 I don't mean to interrupt an intimate moment, 441 00:20:27,310 --> 00:20:31,064 it's just that there have been seismic developments in the negotiations. 442 00:20:31,147 --> 00:20:34,234 - You have really rattled the Chinese leaders. - Chinese leaders? 443 00:20:34,317 --> 00:20:35,819 - Yes, Catherine. - Seriously, mom? 444 00:20:35,902 --> 00:20:39,406 I think he is going to use the gold pen from the second hague convention very soon. 445 00:20:39,489 --> 00:20:41,908 Your mother has given an amazing pen to the Chinese leaders. 446 00:20:41,991 --> 00:20:44,828 - It's gold... yeah, it's an historic... - She knows about that pen. 447 00:20:44,953 --> 00:20:47,414 You are so terrible. 448 00:20:47,497 --> 00:20:49,124 - Catherine. - No. 449 00:20:49,833 --> 00:20:51,668 - Catherine. Okay. - Sorry. 450 00:20:51,793 --> 00:20:53,920 Even labor and delivery with her was a nightmare. 451 00:20:54,003 --> 00:20:55,088 Yes? Why is that? 452 00:20:55,171 --> 00:20:56,589 Do you have a very narrow vagina? 453 00:20:56,673 --> 00:20:58,353 Well, tight. In the states we say "tight." 454 00:20:58,758 --> 00:21:02,011 The Chinese economy is in a worse state than anyone realized. 455 00:21:02,137 --> 00:21:03,823 These sanctions, they are really crippling them. 456 00:21:03,847 --> 00:21:06,015 And chi-jang, he is a proud, stubborn man. 457 00:21:06,141 --> 00:21:08,017 Like a Chinese Mr. Darcy. 458 00:21:08,143 --> 00:21:10,270 But stupid also, like a Chinese Mr. Bingley. 459 00:21:10,353 --> 00:21:11,771 I love Mary poppins. 460 00:21:11,855 --> 00:21:15,608 So, if the United States lifts the sanctions and is prepared 461 00:21:15,692 --> 00:21:19,195 to meet their demands for industrial metals for the next 25 years, 462 00:21:19,279 --> 00:21:21,781 the Chinese might... 463 00:21:21,865 --> 00:21:26,369 Might be prepared to discuss Tibet. 464 00:21:26,494 --> 00:21:29,622 - To bet on what? - Wait, to talk about freeing Tibet? 465 00:21:29,706 --> 00:21:32,041 No, they are prepared to discuss a framework for talks 466 00:21:32,167 --> 00:21:33,978 aimed at a possible path to self-determination. 467 00:21:34,002 --> 00:21:36,796 - I'm freeing Tibet? - No, no, not free. 468 00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:39,966 It would likely be one country, two systems similar to Hong Kong. 469 00:21:40,049 --> 00:21:42,469 - That's it. - Bono's gonna shit his sunglasses. 470 00:21:42,552 --> 00:21:45,805 That is like some man on the moon legacy shit. 471 00:21:45,889 --> 00:21:50,310 My god, selina meyer, the woman who freed Tibet. 472 00:21:50,393 --> 00:21:52,145 Not... no, really, not free. 473 00:21:52,228 --> 00:21:53,980 What about the factories in Ohio? 474 00:21:54,063 --> 00:21:55,899 Jonah's ahead in all the latest polls. 475 00:21:55,982 --> 00:21:58,485 Fuck those factories, man. I'm freeing Tibet. 476 00:21:58,568 --> 00:22:00,403 - Fuck it! - Really, not freeing. 477 00:22:00,528 --> 00:22:05,074 It is, of course, tragic for the unemployed workers of Ohio and north Carolina. 478 00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:06,719 Well, they should have tried going to college. 479 00:22:06,743 --> 00:22:08,745 Worry about your own unemployment in Finland. 480 00:22:08,828 --> 00:22:10,497 We don't have unemployment in Finland. 481 00:22:10,580 --> 00:22:13,500 I'm gonna win a nobel fucking peace prize, you guys! 482 00:22:13,583 --> 00:22:16,002 - Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! - Yeah! 483 00:22:16,085 --> 00:22:18,004 - Oh, sorry. Are you all right? - It's okay. 484 00:22:18,087 --> 00:22:20,590 - And Tibet will have a new future. - (Phone chiming) 485 00:22:20,673 --> 00:22:22,759 God, sorry, sorry. Excuse me. Hey, babe. 486 00:22:22,884 --> 00:22:24,010 (Singing) Hare krishna... 487 00:22:24,093 --> 00:22:26,012 Hi. How was the ultrasound? 488 00:22:26,095 --> 00:22:28,598 (Singing) Meyer, meyer, selina meyer... 489 00:22:28,681 --> 00:22:30,934 Twins? Oh, my god. 490 00:22:31,267 --> 00:22:33,937 No, I'm twice as happy now. 491 00:22:34,103 --> 00:22:36,105 (Cameras clicking) 492 00:22:36,189 --> 00:22:37,749 Jonah: Hmm, who should I vote for, huh? 493 00:22:38,066 --> 00:22:39,442 Pow, pow. 494 00:22:40,401 --> 00:22:43,446 (Laughs) "Who should I vote for?" You can't teach that. 495 00:22:43,947 --> 00:22:46,074 I hope he votes for himself. 496 00:22:46,157 --> 00:22:51,120 Oh, I'm sorry. I need another ballot. I just need another ballot. 497 00:22:51,829 --> 00:22:52,914 Pow, pow. 498 00:22:53,831 --> 00:22:56,376 - Catherine: I don't want to talk to you. - (Knock on door) 499 00:22:56,459 --> 00:23:00,421 I want to tell you something, but it's very confidential, okay? 500 00:23:00,505 --> 00:23:03,299 Mommy is going to free Tibet. 501 00:23:03,424 --> 00:23:04,968 I don't care! 502 00:23:05,093 --> 00:23:07,595 Catherine, come on, honey, remember when you were little 503 00:23:07,679 --> 00:23:11,015 and you had that "free Tibet" sticker and you put it up on the wall 504 00:23:11,140 --> 00:23:14,769 and we couldn't get it off, remember, because you put it on wallpaper inexplicably... 505 00:23:14,852 --> 00:23:18,273 - Hey, kit-cat. It's me. Can I come in? - Catherine: Just you. 506 00:23:21,818 --> 00:23:23,695 Hey, baby. 507 00:23:23,820 --> 00:23:25,196 Well, yeah. 508 00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:30,368 (Chuckles) 509 00:23:32,787 --> 00:23:34,372 Wonderful. 510 00:23:34,789 --> 00:23:36,332 - Gan bei. - Gan bei. 511 00:23:38,459 --> 00:23:43,214 And now, let us celebrate with a traditional Christmas feast. 512 00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:46,217 This is a 513 00:23:47,885 --> 00:23:50,930 culturally significant and traditional... 514 00:23:51,014 --> 00:23:53,224 - Freedom log. - Freedom log. 515 00:23:53,349 --> 00:23:56,978 Why don't we slice that up for everyone to enjoy? 516 00:23:57,645 --> 00:24:02,191 You know, we have a statement that is ready for release. 517 00:24:02,317 --> 00:24:04,152 (Speaking mandarin) 518 00:24:04,235 --> 00:24:06,112 There will be no statement. 519 00:24:06,195 --> 00:24:09,532 These are very delicate issues and cannot be rushed. 520 00:24:09,657 --> 00:24:13,161 Oh, yes, of course. I understand that completely. 521 00:24:13,244 --> 00:24:17,832 Although, perhaps when things are as significant as Tibet, 522 00:24:17,915 --> 00:24:23,087 things are accidentally leaked to the press 523 00:24:23,212 --> 00:24:26,507 so that the world may know of our accomplishments. 524 00:24:26,716 --> 00:24:28,176 (Speaking mandarin) 525 00:24:30,595 --> 00:24:33,222 It would be very unfortunate if it also leaked 526 00:24:33,348 --> 00:24:37,185 that you lied to your country about our hacking of your tweets. 527 00:24:37,268 --> 00:24:39,020 That is ridiculous. 528 00:24:39,103 --> 00:24:41,564 We have your emails to prove it. 529 00:24:43,900 --> 00:24:47,403 Okay, well, we can just wait for you guys to release a statement. 530 00:24:47,570 --> 00:24:49,447 - Xié xie. - Xié xie. 531 00:24:51,866 --> 00:24:52,909 Minna. 532 00:24:56,079 --> 00:24:58,581 - Mr. Mclintock? - Mmm-hmm. 533 00:24:58,706 --> 00:25:01,793 Good news. Your adoption paper has been approved. 534 00:25:01,918 --> 00:25:05,004 You and your wife soon will have a Chinese baby. 535 00:25:05,088 --> 00:25:06,756 Congratulations. 536 00:25:09,258 --> 00:25:10,760 What is happening? 537 00:25:11,219 --> 00:25:12,428 Selina: Well, goodbye, Andrew. 538 00:25:12,553 --> 00:25:15,431 If Catherine has any questions about the Brazil investment, 539 00:25:15,556 --> 00:25:17,433 - always available. - I have a question. 540 00:25:17,558 --> 00:25:20,645 Is it actually an investment in Brazil? 541 00:25:20,770 --> 00:25:22,271 I can take this if you'd like. 542 00:25:22,397 --> 00:25:23,564 - Oh, thank you. - Yeah, sure. 543 00:25:23,648 --> 00:25:25,918 - Thank you for everything, ma'am. - Oh, you're so welcome. 544 00:25:25,942 --> 00:25:28,778 All right, wheels up in 10 minutes on marine one. 545 00:25:28,903 --> 00:25:30,279 Pick up the... 546 00:25:30,405 --> 00:25:32,740 - Oh, hi, Catherine. - Really? 547 00:25:32,824 --> 00:25:34,325 - What? - It's official. 548 00:25:34,450 --> 00:25:36,744 At 8:20 this evening, the widow sherman conceded. 549 00:25:36,828 --> 00:25:39,288 H.R. fucknstuf, Jonah won the election? 550 00:25:39,414 --> 00:25:42,625 - It was just a small margin. - But still counts as a sign of the apocalypse. 551 00:25:42,750 --> 00:25:46,045 - So, Jonah's gonna vote for me and I'm... - All: Gonna be president! 552 00:25:46,129 --> 00:25:47,940 - I've got to call him! - I got him. He's right here. 553 00:25:47,964 --> 00:25:49,674 Oh, my god. 554 00:25:49,799 --> 00:25:51,402 - Congressman Ryan. - (Cheering, applause) 555 00:25:51,426 --> 00:25:53,302 Jonah: Hello, madam president. 556 00:25:53,428 --> 00:25:55,680 - Or should I call you colleague now? - I wouldn't. 557 00:25:55,805 --> 00:25:59,642 And I just want to let you know that I, congressman Jonah Ryan, 558 00:25:59,767 --> 00:26:03,312 will personally deliver you the vote that delivers you the presidency. 559 00:26:03,438 --> 00:26:06,691 - That means so much to me. - Ma'am, while I have you on the phone, 560 00:26:06,816 --> 00:26:09,610 New Hampshire is struggling with an epidemic of opiate addict... 561 00:26:09,694 --> 00:26:10,987 Yeah, I'm not gonna... 562 00:26:11,112 --> 00:26:12,321 Oh, god. 563 00:26:13,197 --> 00:26:15,324 - Oh, good. That goes in my bag. - Yeah. 564 00:26:16,534 --> 00:26:18,161 (Cheering) 565 00:26:19,954 --> 00:26:22,665 I can elect anyone in New Hampshire. 566 00:26:22,790 --> 00:26:25,501 - I can elect a Muslim aids virus. - Okay, Jeff. 567 00:26:25,626 --> 00:26:31,299 A terrorist fucking aids virus in the tiniest suicide vest ever made, 568 00:26:31,382 --> 00:26:33,062 I could make it governor of New Hampshire. 569 00:26:33,176 --> 00:26:34,469 Okay, Jeff, you're drunk. 570 00:26:34,552 --> 00:26:37,972 New Hampshire. New Hampshire. Thank you. 571 00:26:38,055 --> 00:26:40,641 Oh, my god. I did this. 572 00:26:41,642 --> 00:26:44,729 We just elected Jonah to congress. 573 00:26:44,854 --> 00:26:48,191 Looking around, I see so many familiar faces of people 574 00:26:48,316 --> 00:26:51,360 - that supported me and believed in me. - Crowd: Yeah. 575 00:26:51,486 --> 00:26:52,695 And I see a few that didn't. 576 00:26:53,488 --> 00:26:55,114 Like Jessica Thompson. 577 00:26:55,198 --> 00:26:58,034 Hey, Jessica. Jessica, lsee you there. 578 00:26:58,159 --> 00:27:01,704 Yeah, it's been a long time since high school. I like what you did with your hair. 579 00:27:01,829 --> 00:27:04,207 - Do you like what I did with my life? - Crowd: Oh! 580 00:27:04,332 --> 00:27:07,210 Jimmy o'Connor, I've been waiting 20 years to say this to you. 581 00:27:07,335 --> 00:27:10,046 - Oh, my god, I did this. - I'm not the spaz... 582 00:27:10,171 --> 00:27:12,381 You just elected Jonah to congress. 583 00:27:12,507 --> 00:27:14,717 Jonah: I think that you are the spaz. 584 00:27:14,842 --> 00:27:16,636 But through it all, 585 00:27:16,719 --> 00:27:20,640 there was one person who truly believed in Jonah Ryan 586 00:27:20,723 --> 00:27:23,059 and that was Jonah Ryan. 587 00:27:23,184 --> 00:27:24,727 This is my dream, 588 00:27:24,852 --> 00:27:29,899 that you can believe in yourself so hard that you eventually become a congressman. 589 00:27:29,982 --> 00:27:32,568 Thank you, New Hampshire. Thank you. 590 00:27:32,652 --> 00:27:35,154 Selina: Yeah, well, we're thrilled. Thank you, congressman. 591 00:27:35,238 --> 00:27:37,907 Jonah is gonna be sworn in with the rest of the freshmen. 592 00:27:37,990 --> 00:27:39,116 Yeah. 593 00:27:39,242 --> 00:27:43,830 Mom, I've come to a decision, by the way, about the palm beach house. 594 00:27:43,913 --> 00:27:46,582 - Okay, Catherine, listen... - I'm keeping it. 595 00:27:46,666 --> 00:27:48,918 Oh, Catherine. 596 00:27:49,001 --> 00:27:52,004 And I'm turning it into a sanctuary for rescued farm animals. 597 00:27:52,421 --> 00:27:53,714 What? 598 00:27:53,798 --> 00:27:56,342 - Rescued farm animals. - Yeah, I heard her. 599 00:27:56,425 --> 00:27:57,927 I think it's inspiring, ma'am. 600 00:27:58,010 --> 00:28:04,392 You're taking my daddy's house and turning it into some club med for goats? 601 00:28:04,475 --> 00:28:07,395 Well, it won't be just goats. I mean, there's so much property 602 00:28:07,478 --> 00:28:09,748 that we were talking about all different kinds of animals. 603 00:28:09,772 --> 00:28:11,858 I mean, you could have ducks or... 604 00:28:11,941 --> 00:28:13,442 - Marjorie: Lame horses. - Pigs. 605 00:28:13,526 --> 00:28:15,611 - Marjorie: Pigs. Potbellied pigs. - Emus. 606 00:28:15,695 --> 00:28:18,281 And we could have horses as well. 607 00:28:18,364 --> 00:28:20,175 - Okay. - Marjorie: We could have peacocks, too. 608 00:28:20,199 --> 00:28:22,618 - Can you do llamas? - Oh, yeah, we could have llamas. 609 00:28:22,702 --> 00:28:24,996 - Marjorie: Llamas. - Maybe a three-legged goat.