1 00:00:06,549 --> 00:00:08,885 And to the American people who supported me 2 00:00:08,968 --> 00:00:11,387 with a majority of the popular vote, 3 00:00:11,637 --> 00:00:15,892 ipromise you, this amazing clean energy joint venture... 4 00:00:16,225 --> 00:00:18,412 You know, Wendy and I have been meeting with surrogates. 5 00:00:18,436 --> 00:00:22,273 She is so excited about my sperm being in another woman, it's weird. 6 00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:24,901 For the winds of economic change, 7 00:00:26,235 --> 00:00:28,237 they are blowing. 8 00:00:28,738 --> 00:00:30,823 Thank you. Thank you very much. 9 00:00:30,907 --> 00:00:32,325 Thank you very much. 10 00:00:32,408 --> 00:00:36,662 Why is my hair all spinning around and these things, like you, are doing nothin'? 11 00:00:36,746 --> 00:00:39,749 Apparently, they shut the turbines off if the winds speeds are too high. 12 00:00:39,832 --> 00:00:41,672 Is it too late to turn them into oil derricks? 13 00:00:41,751 --> 00:00:44,795 Ma'am, I just got some really sad news. Your mother's in the hospital. 14 00:00:45,046 --> 00:00:46,088 What? 15 00:00:46,172 --> 00:00:48,966 - It looks like a stroke. - Again? 16 00:00:49,175 --> 00:00:51,135 We can 86 the meet-and-greet with the engineers. 17 00:00:51,219 --> 00:00:54,013 - That's no problem. - Why? 18 00:00:54,096 --> 00:00:56,098 Because you need to rush to your mother's bedside. 19 00:00:56,182 --> 00:00:59,143 - Yeah. - All right, okay, I'm... 20 00:01:13,658 --> 00:01:15,034 Mike: I hope mee-maw's okay. 21 00:01:15,117 --> 00:01:18,788 She's been at death's door like five times, but she always bounces back to life. 22 00:01:18,913 --> 00:01:21,958 - Gary: That's true. - She's like that guy, uh... 23 00:01:22,041 --> 00:01:23,668 - Lazarus. - Rasputin. 24 00:01:23,751 --> 00:01:25,711 She seemed sweet when she visited the white house. 25 00:01:25,795 --> 00:01:27,171 Really? Let me tell you something. 26 00:01:27,255 --> 00:01:29,799 After I lost my first election for State Senate, 27 00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:35,554 mother says to me, "well, it's not your fault. It's just your toothy smile." 28 00:01:36,055 --> 00:01:38,641 Oh, my god. I love your smile. 29 00:01:38,724 --> 00:01:42,395 - That's not the point. - Looks weirder if you don't show your teeth. 30 00:01:42,478 --> 00:01:45,982 I just cannot believe that this has happened in the middle of all of this. 31 00:01:46,065 --> 00:01:49,026 I know. I know. I'll tell you, when my mom got ovarian cancer... 32 00:01:49,110 --> 00:01:50,278 Oh, call Kent. 33 00:01:51,654 --> 00:01:54,073 And that is why we have to stop 34 00:01:54,156 --> 00:01:57,034 this reckless meddling in the electoral process. 35 00:01:57,285 --> 00:02:01,998 Stick to the legal deadline and certify the count as it stands. 36 00:02:02,373 --> 00:02:04,133 Thank you, your honors. 37 00:02:04,834 --> 00:02:06,085 May it please the court. 38 00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:09,213 There are many things that we could all stand here 39 00:02:09,297 --> 00:02:11,173 and debate for hours on end. 40 00:02:11,549 --> 00:02:14,343 Is the sky blue? Is water wet? 41 00:02:14,885 --> 00:02:19,390 But isn't it far worse to adhere to an arbitrary deadline 42 00:02:19,682 --> 00:02:22,393 rather than counting every valid vote? 43 00:02:22,810 --> 00:02:24,830 Protestors: Ho, ho! This endless recount's... 44 00:02:24,854 --> 00:02:27,189 Dan: Jesus, an electoral protest? 45 00:02:28,149 --> 00:02:31,736 Wait a second, that's the o'brien nimrod from the recount table. 46 00:02:32,069 --> 00:02:36,073 A fake protest. That is classic o'brien. It's such a scumbag move. 47 00:02:36,407 --> 00:02:39,827 This endless recount's got to go. Hey, hey! Ho, ho! 48 00:02:40,369 --> 00:02:42,246 Yep, I'll raid petty cash. 49 00:02:43,873 --> 00:02:45,684 Mike: Ma'am, you have to see this dumb o'brien tweet. 50 00:02:45,708 --> 00:02:47,585 "Another day wasting taxpayer dollars. 51 00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:50,046 "Meyer plus windmills, cost money, do nothing." 52 00:02:50,379 --> 00:02:51,565 Well, that's on you, isn't it? 53 00:02:51,589 --> 00:02:53,966 See if you can spin something right today, okay? 54 00:02:54,175 --> 00:02:55,718 - God. - Ma'am, Amy's calling. 55 00:02:57,386 --> 00:02:58,721 Ame, hi. What's going on? 56 00:02:58,804 --> 00:03:01,557 Ma'am, I'm so, so sorry. 57 00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:03,559 - What? What happened? - What? 58 00:03:03,642 --> 00:03:06,604 Your mother. I read on huffpo that she was in the hospital. 59 00:03:06,812 --> 00:03:09,774 Amy, I thought you were talking about the recount. 60 00:03:09,857 --> 00:03:13,152 Don't ever, ever scare me like that again. 61 00:03:13,277 --> 00:03:14,320 I'm sorry. 62 00:03:14,445 --> 00:03:16,947 Just do whatever it takes to get these ballots counted, okay? 63 00:03:17,031 --> 00:03:18,616 My mother's gonna be fine. I got to go. 64 00:03:18,699 --> 00:03:20,284 - God, we just... - Okay. 65 00:03:20,493 --> 00:03:21,869 Oh, wow. 66 00:03:22,661 --> 00:03:23,954 Everyone's here. 67 00:03:24,038 --> 00:03:26,332 This is your temporary mobile oval. 68 00:03:26,457 --> 00:03:29,126 I'm sorry, is there a kettle or clothing steamer in here? 69 00:03:29,210 --> 00:03:31,379 - No. - Okay, this is gonna be quite the day. 70 00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:34,840 - So, where's my mother? Okay. - She's down the hall to the right. 71 00:03:35,216 --> 00:03:37,134 - And Andrew's here. - What? 72 00:03:37,218 --> 00:03:38,969 - What? - Sue: At Catherine's request. 73 00:03:39,053 --> 00:03:40,638 But I made sure he had nowhere to sit. 74 00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:42,181 You are good people, sue. 75 00:03:43,140 --> 00:03:44,350 Andrew. 76 00:03:45,017 --> 00:03:47,103 Wow. Hi, you got here quick. 77 00:03:47,186 --> 00:03:50,314 - Catherine called me. You were away. - Yeah, serving the country. 78 00:03:50,398 --> 00:03:52,108 - I'm sorry about your mother. - Thank you. 79 00:03:52,191 --> 00:03:53,776 Oh, this is Monica. 80 00:03:53,859 --> 00:03:57,238 A pleasure to meet you, madam president. My thoughts are so with you right now. 81 00:03:57,321 --> 00:03:58,823 Thank you so much. 82 00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:00,991 - You brought a date. - I don't know her. 83 00:04:01,075 --> 00:04:03,395 Monica and I are seeing one another. She's part of my life. 84 00:04:03,536 --> 00:04:05,579 - Oh. - She writes books on homemaking, 85 00:04:05,663 --> 00:04:07,957 - blogs about entertaining. - I do know her. 86 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:09,792 She does some of the local morning shows. 87 00:04:09,875 --> 00:04:12,169 - Wbal has her on during the holidays. - Oh, my god. 88 00:04:12,253 --> 00:04:15,506 Okay, sweetie, the president does not want to hear my resume right now. 89 00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:18,259 She's a smart one. You can maybe pick up something from her. 90 00:04:18,342 --> 00:04:20,010 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 91 00:04:20,678 --> 00:04:24,181 I just want to say my wife is obsessed with your spiced eggnog. We drink it year-round. 92 00:04:24,265 --> 00:04:25,575 Thank you. It makes a really yummy ice cream. 93 00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:26,684 - Shut up. - Yeah. 94 00:04:31,230 --> 00:04:33,357 - Hi, sweetie. - Hi, mom. 95 00:04:33,941 --> 00:04:35,443 Oh, Catherine, this is... 96 00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:38,529 - Hey, cat. - Thank you so much for coming. 97 00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:41,323 - You two know each other? - We've all been hanging out a bunch. 98 00:04:41,407 --> 00:04:43,117 Yeah, monnie gave me this sweater. 99 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:45,011 No, I definitely didn't give you that sweater. 100 00:04:45,035 --> 00:04:46,370 - Not that color. - No, I didn't. 101 00:04:46,454 --> 00:04:48,539 I'm sorry, I think she's talking about me. 102 00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:51,584 She calls me "monnie". Sounds like "mommy". 103 00:04:51,709 --> 00:04:53,127 Mmm-hmm. Well, okay. 104 00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:58,966 - I can't take this music, okay? - Yeah. Please. 105 00:04:59,049 --> 00:05:02,219 The campaign's over, I don't have to pretend to like country music anymore. 106 00:05:02,303 --> 00:05:05,347 This is Tim McGraw. It's mee-maw's favorite song. 107 00:05:05,431 --> 00:05:07,224 What? No. Mee-maw's favorite song 108 00:05:07,308 --> 00:05:09,589 is whatever is playing in the background at neiman Marcus. 109 00:05:09,727 --> 00:05:11,061 Please turn it off, okay? 110 00:05:11,395 --> 00:05:13,439 Mom, you should say hi to her. 111 00:05:13,939 --> 00:05:16,066 Honey, if I wanted to talk to an unconscious person, 112 00:05:16,150 --> 00:05:18,402 I'd book myself on Charlie Rose. 113 00:05:19,278 --> 00:05:20,321 Mmm. 114 00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:23,324 What happened to her nails? 115 00:05:24,492 --> 00:05:27,244 Looks like she's been diggin' for potatoes, or something. 116 00:05:27,328 --> 00:05:29,413 Why are you even worried about her hands right now? 117 00:05:29,497 --> 00:05:31,081 That is so not important. 118 00:05:31,165 --> 00:05:34,752 - Catherine, mother loves her hands. - Yeah. 119 00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:37,922 She always wore dishwashing gloves when she gave me my bath. 120 00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:41,258 Which is why I don't do dishes. I just now realized that. 121 00:05:42,927 --> 00:05:46,096 Hello, madam president. I'm Dr. Mirpuri. 122 00:05:46,180 --> 00:05:47,932 - Dr. Mir... - Mirpuri. 123 00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:50,476 Mir-piri. Okay. How is she doing? 124 00:05:51,435 --> 00:05:55,189 I'm afraid it's quite dire. All brain function has ceased. 125 00:05:57,358 --> 00:05:59,944 So, she's not gonna bounce back? 126 00:06:00,945 --> 00:06:04,615 I'm afraid she'll need to stay on life support until she expires. 127 00:06:05,991 --> 00:06:07,868 Did you still want to do her nails? 128 00:06:07,952 --> 00:06:09,203 - Oh, yes, I do. - Okay. 129 00:06:09,828 --> 00:06:11,956 Wendy: No, we're not hiring that woman. 130 00:06:12,039 --> 00:06:13,541 It was just a cold sore, honey. 131 00:06:13,624 --> 00:06:16,043 I don't want to pay 40 grand for a herpes baby. 132 00:06:16,126 --> 00:06:18,128 - Oh, hey, debralee? - Yes, hi. 133 00:06:18,212 --> 00:06:19,630 Hey. Mike, yes. Nice to meet you. 134 00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:21,525 - Wendy, hi. - Debralee. Hi, Wendy. So nice to meet you. 135 00:06:21,549 --> 00:06:23,551 - You want anything? - I'm good. Thank you, though. 136 00:06:23,634 --> 00:06:25,553 I just had a kombucha on my way over. 137 00:06:26,053 --> 00:06:27,763 - So... - Okay, so, I'll just dive on in 138 00:06:27,846 --> 00:06:29,848 and give you guys a little background on me. 139 00:06:29,974 --> 00:06:32,476 You already know I've carried three babies to term. 140 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:35,521 I keep everything organic. I exercise every day. 141 00:06:35,813 --> 00:06:38,065 I don't drink or smoke and I never have. 142 00:06:38,566 --> 00:06:42,486 - That's amazing. - I mean, that's exactly what we're looking for. 143 00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:44,905 - Praise Jesus. - Mike: Mmm-hmm. 144 00:06:45,322 --> 00:06:46,699 Are y'all christians? 145 00:06:47,199 --> 00:06:48,826 Yes. Mmm-hmm, yes. 146 00:06:49,243 --> 00:06:52,663 I mean, a lot of people think that I'm Jewish, but that... no. 147 00:06:53,163 --> 00:06:54,206 - Oh. - Christian. 148 00:06:54,331 --> 00:06:55,749 What church y'all go to? 149 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:57,501 - Our lady... - Of the holy womb... 150 00:06:57,585 --> 00:07:00,004 - Of the holy womb. - Womb of Jesus. 151 00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:02,756 It's a small congregation, but it's fierce. 152 00:07:03,674 --> 00:07:04,925 It's holy. 153 00:07:05,509 --> 00:07:07,344 Okay, Emily's working on her nails now. 154 00:07:07,428 --> 00:07:09,680 - Good. Dark? - Excuse me, madam president? 155 00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:12,016 Your mother was a bit vague on the dnr. 156 00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:14,018 - Okay. - So, it will come down to you. 157 00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:15,686 - Praying for a miracle. - Please don't. 158 00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:16,854 Okay. 159 00:07:18,606 --> 00:07:21,775 Okay. Well, Dr. Mccurry... 160 00:07:21,859 --> 00:07:24,862 - Mirpuri. - Yes, that's what I said. 161 00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:28,616 So, what does that entail, you know, the pulling of the plug? 162 00:07:29,283 --> 00:07:30,534 There's not really a plug. 163 00:07:31,035 --> 00:07:34,455 What we're talking about requires removing the ventilator tube. 164 00:07:34,580 --> 00:07:38,042 And then as her organs begin to fail... 165 00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:42,338 Okay, I'm gonna have to sit down for just a minute, if that's all right. 166 00:07:42,421 --> 00:07:44,882 We would be tracking her vitals... 167 00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:47,301 It's okay, Catherine. It's okay. 168 00:07:48,719 --> 00:07:52,723 Oh, wow. That is loud, honey. That's loud. 169 00:07:53,474 --> 00:07:55,809 Oh, Stephen Hawking here is indisposed, 170 00:07:56,226 --> 00:07:58,729 - Marjorie, can you help me with this? - Yes, ma'am. Yeah. 171 00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:00,606 I just want to assure you, madam president, 172 00:08:00,731 --> 00:08:02,816 we would do everything in our power to ensure... 173 00:08:02,900 --> 00:08:05,527 Yeah, just a sec. Something's pressing here, Kent! 174 00:08:05,611 --> 00:08:07,297 - Yeah. - I'm sorry, I didn't mean to intrude. 175 00:08:07,321 --> 00:08:09,401 I chose a parabolic path deliberately out of earshot. 176 00:08:09,448 --> 00:08:10,574 It's fine, come here. 177 00:08:11,909 --> 00:08:13,160 What's up? 178 00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:18,666 I just needed to get a break from the hindu grim reaper out there. 179 00:08:27,424 --> 00:08:30,135 I don't know if this provides any solace, 180 00:08:30,260 --> 00:08:33,263 but ever since your mother's health setback was announced, 181 00:08:33,347 --> 00:08:36,684 there has been an outpouring of support... 182 00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:40,771 That has driven up your favorables. 183 00:08:41,814 --> 00:08:44,650 I'm talking about pulling the plug on my mother here. 184 00:08:44,817 --> 00:08:48,821 How is half a percentage point in the polls supposed to sweeten that shit biscuit? 185 00:08:48,946 --> 00:08:51,031 - More like double digits. - Really? 186 00:08:51,156 --> 00:08:52,324 Mmm-hmm. 187 00:08:53,325 --> 00:08:54,952 But just out of curiosity, 188 00:08:55,786 --> 00:08:57,329 if I were to, you know... 189 00:09:00,541 --> 00:09:01,959 Would that end? 190 00:09:02,626 --> 00:09:08,549 There is a possibility of a shorter-lived, but numerically greater outpouring, 191 00:09:09,466 --> 00:09:11,552 if you will, a "death bump". 192 00:09:12,136 --> 00:09:13,345 - Really? - Really. 193 00:09:17,850 --> 00:09:21,645 - Well, that is some wild and heavy stuff. - 4ndeed. 194 00:09:22,479 --> 00:09:24,982 Yeah. I got some real soul-searching to do. 195 00:09:40,539 --> 00:09:44,334 I have been in Washington a long time and I thought I had seen everything, 196 00:09:44,418 --> 00:09:47,421 but the insensitivity shown by senator o'brien 197 00:09:47,504 --> 00:09:49,923 clearly demonstrates that this man does not possess 198 00:09:50,007 --> 00:09:51,759 the judgment and dignity necessary... 199 00:09:51,842 --> 00:09:53,260 True statesman right there. 200 00:09:53,343 --> 00:09:56,972 Okay, so, now what I need is a quiet place to think 201 00:09:57,055 --> 00:09:58,849 that doesn't have Mike's stupid face in it. 202 00:09:59,183 --> 00:10:01,977 - I can turn around, ma'am. - There's a chapel on the fourth floor. 203 00:10:02,060 --> 00:10:04,897 - We can make sure it's cleared out for you. - Okay, yeah. 204 00:10:07,357 --> 00:10:12,196 Those we have loved cannot be lost because they are always a part of us. 205 00:10:12,696 --> 00:10:14,865 Thank you, Ben, and whoever wrote those words. 206 00:10:15,032 --> 00:10:16,700 - Look what I found. - Too late. 207 00:10:16,784 --> 00:10:17,868 Of course. 208 00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:19,119 I recognize those words. 209 00:10:19,203 --> 00:10:22,247 They were in the card your wife sent me when my cat fibonacci passed. 210 00:10:22,372 --> 00:10:23,457 I found them soothing. 211 00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:27,628 Hey, hey, ho, ho! This endless recount's got to go! 212 00:10:27,711 --> 00:10:29,963 - God, that's a great chant. - Just catchy. 213 00:10:30,047 --> 00:10:32,257 Jesus, lose the fucking badge, man. 214 00:10:32,382 --> 00:10:33,860 Jesus Christ. All right, show me the art. 215 00:10:33,884 --> 00:10:36,094 Okay, we got "count totes the votes." 216 00:10:36,220 --> 00:10:37,614 - What is that? What's "totes"? - It's like a... 217 00:10:37,638 --> 00:10:39,765 Totes, like all... count all the votes. 218 00:10:39,890 --> 00:10:42,810 You guys have one job to do, that is to rally the crowd 219 00:10:42,893 --> 00:10:44,144 with your pro-potus signs 220 00:10:44,228 --> 00:10:46,268 - and get your camera-unfriendly faces on TV. - Yes. 221 00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:48,941 You can't put a Jonah Ryan on TV like that, 222 00:10:49,066 --> 00:10:51,360 18 to 34-year-old women are gonna be distracted by that. 223 00:10:51,443 --> 00:10:54,530 The only thing that women 18 to 34 are gonna do 224 00:10:54,613 --> 00:10:56,990 when they see you on camera, is file a restraining order. 225 00:10:57,491 --> 00:11:00,327 So, make some fuckin' noise, dummies. What the fuck are you smiling at? 226 00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:03,205 - I'm just happy to be here. - Unbelievable. 227 00:11:03,288 --> 00:11:05,791 What do we want? To get the votes counted! 228 00:11:05,916 --> 00:11:09,086 When do we want it? Uh, hopefully before the deadline! 229 00:11:10,921 --> 00:11:12,464 Selina: Do you pray? Gary: A lot. 230 00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:14,925 What do you pray for? 231 00:11:15,634 --> 00:11:17,594 You... you know... 232 00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:21,265 Hmm. 233 00:11:21,807 --> 00:11:23,433 You maybe want to try it? 234 00:11:24,309 --> 00:11:26,812 Sure. You know, what the hell? We're here, right? 235 00:11:26,937 --> 00:11:27,980 - Okay, all right. - Yeah. 236 00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:30,440 Okay. 237 00:11:31,692 --> 00:11:33,485 God, I, um... 238 00:11:37,948 --> 00:11:39,366 I just... 239 00:11:39,449 --> 00:11:43,036 - Oh, lord god, it's me, selina. - Oh, lord god. It's me, selina... 240 00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:46,039 - Grant me wisdom and strength. - Grant me wisdom and strength. 241 00:11:46,123 --> 00:11:48,542 - Give us... - Give us your comforting presence... 242 00:11:48,625 --> 00:11:50,919 - I've got it, now. I've got it. - Okay, yep. 243 00:11:51,003 --> 00:11:54,798 Lord god, please ease my mother's pain... 244 00:11:54,882 --> 00:11:56,884 Yes, lord. Yes, lord. 245 00:11:57,342 --> 00:12:00,012 Ease her passing. Ease it all. 246 00:12:00,470 --> 00:12:02,472 - Yes. - Ease it down the... 247 00:12:02,681 --> 00:12:03,765 Mmm. 248 00:12:03,849 --> 00:12:04,975 The... 249 00:12:05,726 --> 00:12:09,396 Lord, let her daughter, thy humble servant, 250 00:12:10,022 --> 00:12:14,192 be the first woman elected president of the United States. 251 00:12:15,152 --> 00:12:17,529 Please, this is so much to bear. 252 00:12:17,654 --> 00:12:19,489 Oh, it is, lord. It is. 253 00:12:19,865 --> 00:12:22,367 - Hear my prayer. - Hear her prayer. 254 00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:25,078 - Lift me up. - Lift her up, lord. 255 00:12:25,162 --> 00:12:28,540 No, I mean, actually lift me up 'cause my heel is stuck in this thing. 256 00:12:29,583 --> 00:12:30,709 Yeah, I got it. 257 00:12:34,004 --> 00:12:37,132 Um, okay, just so you know, after the ventilator is removed, 258 00:12:37,215 --> 00:12:39,092 there might be some coughing. 259 00:12:39,176 --> 00:12:42,262 It's reflexive. It's not a sign that she's aware or suffering in any way. 260 00:12:42,346 --> 00:12:43,597 - Okay. - Okay. 261 00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:46,183 Okay, why don't I give you a moment to say good-bye. 262 00:12:47,059 --> 00:12:48,560 Oh, you mean now? 263 00:13:06,078 --> 00:13:07,955 Well, that's much better. 264 00:13:12,876 --> 00:13:13,961 Mmm. 265 00:13:18,382 --> 00:13:19,883 Well, mother... 266 00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:23,762 I just want you... 267 00:13:32,437 --> 00:13:37,901 Those you loved cannot be lost because they are always a part of you. 268 00:13:44,741 --> 00:13:46,243 Okay. 269 00:13:50,747 --> 00:13:52,249 Sorry, it can wait till later. 270 00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:54,001 - No, no, come in. - You sure? 271 00:13:54,084 --> 00:13:55,419 Yeah, come in. 272 00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:57,921 Yeah, Dr. Mir... can you... 273 00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:02,009 Okay, Nicole, you can go ahead and begin. 274 00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:04,445 Ma'am, I don't really think we should be here for this. 275 00:14:04,469 --> 00:14:06,239 No, no, you've got to stay. You've got to stay. 276 00:14:06,263 --> 00:14:08,408 Doctor: Okay, she's just gonna remove the ventilator... 277 00:14:08,432 --> 00:14:09,766 Gary: Okay. 278 00:14:18,775 --> 00:14:20,068 What... 279 00:14:20,777 --> 00:14:23,113 So, in your experience, 280 00:14:23,613 --> 00:14:27,117 how long does this sort of thing carry on? 281 00:14:27,284 --> 00:14:28,910 - Usually minutes. - Okay. 282 00:14:29,494 --> 00:14:31,747 - I have seen hours. - Huh? 283 00:14:32,622 --> 00:14:33,790 Days are very rare. 284 00:14:33,915 --> 00:14:35,375 Oh, well, that's not gonna work 285 00:14:35,459 --> 00:14:40,630 because for me with my schedule and life... 286 00:14:40,922 --> 00:14:42,674 Jesus Christ. 287 00:14:43,091 --> 00:14:44,718 Sorry. I'm so sorry. 288 00:14:44,801 --> 00:14:46,201 Selina: Turn that off. 289 00:14:49,639 --> 00:14:50,849 Okay, no... 290 00:14:54,978 --> 00:14:56,813 Um, she's gone, madam president. 291 00:14:57,314 --> 00:14:59,316 - Yeah, okay. - My condolences. 292 00:14:59,483 --> 00:15:02,152 - Can I just have a moment? - Yes, of course. Absolutely. 293 00:15:16,500 --> 00:15:18,019 Well, why don't you check your phones? 294 00:15:18,043 --> 00:15:20,837 Sounds like you shoplifted a bunch of vibrators. 295 00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:26,593 The Nevada state supreme court issued a temporary stay of certification. 296 00:15:26,676 --> 00:15:28,261 The count will continue. 297 00:15:29,721 --> 00:15:31,765 Oh, my prayer worked, right? 298 00:15:31,848 --> 00:15:33,225 Maybe! Maybe! 299 00:15:33,350 --> 00:15:34,910 You wanted help from above, here it is. 300 00:15:35,018 --> 00:15:37,395 Yeah. It's fantastic. 301 00:15:37,521 --> 00:15:40,357 Mom? What's going on? What's everyone cheering about? 302 00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:41,900 Is mee-maw better? 303 00:15:42,025 --> 00:15:44,444 Catherine. I thought you were here. 304 00:15:44,528 --> 00:15:47,405 No, iwent to get coffee. I asked you if you wanted anything. 305 00:15:47,531 --> 00:15:49,533 No, I... ldidn't hear you say that. 306 00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:51,743 Wait, she's gone? 307 00:15:53,078 --> 00:15:55,038 You... you pulled the plug without me? 308 00:15:55,205 --> 00:15:58,125 It wasn't a plug. It was a ventilator tube that they just... 309 00:16:00,710 --> 00:16:03,588 Oh, darling. Honey, no, no, no. 310 00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:05,433 Mee-maw didn't know you weren't here, honey. 311 00:16:06,133 --> 00:16:09,761 She's brain dead. Baby doll, she was brain dead. 312 00:16:11,388 --> 00:16:14,307 We got good news about Nevada. 313 00:16:16,393 --> 00:16:17,561 Wait, what? 314 00:16:18,395 --> 00:16:21,231 We got good news from Nevada. 315 00:16:28,405 --> 00:16:29,573 Mom? 316 00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:35,579 - I'm gonna step outside. - Okay. 317 00:16:39,082 --> 00:16:41,668 Mother would never let me use the good piano. 318 00:16:43,170 --> 00:16:46,423 I always had to take my lessons on the shitty upright in the den. 319 00:16:47,924 --> 00:16:52,012 Oh, you know what? That would be a good story for the eulogy. 320 00:16:52,095 --> 00:16:54,695 Mom, why would you want to paint mee-maw in such a negative light? 321 00:16:54,764 --> 00:16:59,102 Catherine, Thomas fucking kinkade couldn't paint mee-maw in a positive light. 322 00:16:59,436 --> 00:17:03,440 - Oh, my god. You never knew daddy. - Oh. 323 00:17:03,773 --> 00:17:06,443 He was so sweet, mee-maw blamed me for his death. 324 00:17:06,776 --> 00:17:07,944 What? 325 00:17:08,945 --> 00:17:11,531 I think that's probably your interpretation of it. 326 00:17:11,615 --> 00:17:14,117 Oh, Catherine, you have no idea 327 00:17:14,201 --> 00:17:18,538 what it was like to be the only daughter of a pathological narcissist. 328 00:17:18,622 --> 00:17:22,125 I mean, all this woman did was criticize me or ignore me. 329 00:17:22,209 --> 00:17:24,628 I'm gonna go to bed. 330 00:17:24,794 --> 00:17:25,962 - Okay. - Selina: Okay, night. 331 00:17:26,796 --> 00:17:28,673 - The pillows are not for sleeping. - Mmm-hmm. 332 00:17:29,633 --> 00:17:32,302 Sue: Ma'am, your mother's attorney, George huntzinger, is here. 333 00:17:32,469 --> 00:17:34,054 Okay. Uncle George. 334 00:17:34,137 --> 00:17:37,474 Selina. Or should I say "madam president"? 335 00:17:37,807 --> 00:17:40,894 Oh, my goodness. I'm so happy to see you. 336 00:17:40,977 --> 00:17:44,814 You know what? You were always my favorite of all of mother's lawyers. 337 00:17:44,898 --> 00:17:46,209 - You're too kind. - No, it's true. 338 00:17:46,233 --> 00:17:50,946 So, we need to get you the keys to mother's summer house for the appraisers. 339 00:17:51,321 --> 00:17:52,656 Right over here? Yeah. 340 00:17:52,739 --> 00:17:57,077 - She was the most darling woman. - Yes, she certainly was in a sense, yeah. 341 00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:58,745 - Here's the key, sir. - There we go. 342 00:17:58,828 --> 00:18:00,348 Ma'am, we really need to return to funeral planning. 343 00:18:00,372 --> 00:18:01,456 Yes. 344 00:18:01,539 --> 00:18:03,124 So many people outside. 345 00:18:03,208 --> 00:18:05,519 I feared I might have to start driving over them to get in here. 346 00:18:05,543 --> 00:18:08,004 Really? Protesters? 347 00:18:08,088 --> 00:18:10,465 This country's just lost its sense of decency. 348 00:18:10,548 --> 00:18:12,425 - Well, they're animals. - No, no. Heavens, no. 349 00:18:12,509 --> 00:18:13,593 They're well-wishers. 350 00:18:13,885 --> 00:18:16,388 - Really? - Yeah. 351 00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:18,807 People are wishing me well? 352 00:18:19,099 --> 00:18:21,142 Well, of course, they are. You're in mourning. 353 00:18:22,727 --> 00:18:23,812 Oh, right. Yeah. 354 00:18:27,065 --> 00:18:30,819 Thank you so much. You're too kind. I appreciate it. 355 00:18:30,902 --> 00:18:32,862 Oh, my goodness. I feel like a bride. 356 00:18:32,946 --> 00:18:36,074 A sad bride because, of course, this is a day of grief. 357 00:18:36,157 --> 00:18:40,078 Her brain was quite damaged for quite a long time. 358 00:18:40,161 --> 00:18:42,247 I love you. 359 00:18:42,330 --> 00:18:45,750 There are so many friendly and diverse faces here. 360 00:18:46,084 --> 00:18:51,089 And I wish that mother were alive to see this on her property. 361 00:18:51,965 --> 00:18:55,635 - Woman: O'brien. - Ms brookheimer, how goes the count? 362 00:18:55,719 --> 00:18:57,721 Oh, it's great if you want a bloated booze bag 363 00:18:57,804 --> 00:18:59,306 - to be our next president. - Really? 364 00:18:59,389 --> 00:19:00,473 O'brien. 365 00:19:00,557 --> 00:19:02,017 So, o'brien's a lush? 366 00:19:02,392 --> 00:19:06,521 - Did Eleanor Roosevelt eat pussy? - Oh! Jesus. 367 00:19:06,604 --> 00:19:09,107 Oh, god, I'm sorry. It's the way we talk in the white house. 368 00:19:09,190 --> 00:19:11,526 I'm not even aware I'm doing it anymore. 369 00:19:11,609 --> 00:19:14,571 Wow. I mean, you seem so... And then... whew. 370 00:19:14,779 --> 00:19:16,031 Hey, it may not even be true. 371 00:19:16,114 --> 00:19:19,051 Did she eat pussy or did she just fingerbang her way down Pennsylvania Avenue? 372 00:19:19,075 --> 00:19:22,329 - Fuck my mouth. I'm doing it again. - Jiminy cricket. 373 00:19:23,330 --> 00:19:24,539 Wow. 374 00:19:24,706 --> 00:19:27,042 Mike: Damn it. Apparently, our born-again surrogate 375 00:19:27,167 --> 00:19:28,585 is super against dnr, 376 00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:32,088 so, when potus pulled the plug on motus, she started having second thoughts. 377 00:19:32,172 --> 00:19:36,217 Did you explain to her that there is no scientific evidence of a higher power? 378 00:19:37,927 --> 00:19:41,222 - How long has this yogurt been in here? - Make yourself at home, Mike. 379 00:19:41,306 --> 00:19:43,808 - Don't eat the bananas. They're wax. - Copy that. 380 00:19:43,892 --> 00:19:46,061 - Shit news from Nevada. - What? 381 00:19:46,144 --> 00:19:48,730 The new votes are tilting heavily toward o'brien. 382 00:19:48,813 --> 00:19:51,858 Apparently, most of them are military absentees. 383 00:19:52,233 --> 00:19:55,779 Of course. Fort dutton. It all makes sense. 384 00:19:56,821 --> 00:20:01,034 No, no, no. That doesn't make any sense. Nevada is my state. I'm gonna be president. 385 00:20:01,117 --> 00:20:03,995 I'm gonna be the first elected lady president. 386 00:20:04,079 --> 00:20:06,706 I'm gonna have a lovely inauguration. Billy Joel is gonna sing. 387 00:20:06,790 --> 00:20:09,751 So, you guys have to stop the recount. 388 00:20:10,168 --> 00:20:11,520 - I'm sorry, what? - Stop the count. 389 00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:14,255 - Shut up, Gary. Ma'am, we can't. - I don't care. 390 00:20:14,339 --> 00:20:17,509 The train has very publically left the station and derailed at high speed. 391 00:20:17,592 --> 00:20:18,760 You got to stop the count. 392 00:20:18,843 --> 00:20:21,137 Ma'am, this would look like a size-14 flip-flop. 393 00:20:21,221 --> 00:20:23,306 - We really can't... - I don't give a fuck! 394 00:20:23,390 --> 00:20:26,267 You're gonna cancel this recount like Anne frank's bat mitzvah. 395 00:20:26,351 --> 00:20:29,771 Yeah, I'm on it, though I think the dj already spent the deposit. 396 00:20:29,854 --> 00:20:33,274 I'm on it right... yeah, Amy. Yeah. 397 00:20:33,358 --> 00:20:35,026 I'm tired of losing things! 398 00:20:36,236 --> 00:20:40,824 We would like to file a motion to exclude all pending ballots from the recount. 399 00:20:42,700 --> 00:20:45,578 Ms Collins, you do realize that what you're saying 400 00:20:45,662 --> 00:20:48,706 is in diametric opposition to the case you presented yesterday? 401 00:20:49,082 --> 00:20:53,211 If the deadline has passed, why is the recount allowed to continue? 402 00:20:53,461 --> 00:20:57,132 Objection, your honor. The count must continue. 403 00:20:57,549 --> 00:20:59,968 Did we tell huey, Dewey, and rapey 404 00:21:00,051 --> 00:21:02,971 that it's "stop the count" now and not "count every vote"? 405 00:21:03,888 --> 00:21:05,140 Shit. 406 00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:08,560 Count every vote! Count every vote! 407 00:21:08,935 --> 00:21:11,563 Count every vote! Count every vote! 408 00:21:11,646 --> 00:21:13,690 Doesn't he work for o'brien? 409 00:21:14,649 --> 00:21:16,734 No. Jesus. Come on, Richard, no. 410 00:21:16,818 --> 00:21:19,112 - Count every vote! - Come on! Let 'em hear you! 411 00:21:19,195 --> 00:21:20,280 Dan: Jonah! 412 00:21:20,363 --> 00:21:21,948 - Count every vote! - Richard! 413 00:21:22,115 --> 00:21:24,200 Stop protesting, you idiots! 414 00:21:24,325 --> 00:21:28,288 Count every vote! Count every vote! 415 00:21:28,538 --> 00:21:29,664 Count every vote! 416 00:21:29,873 --> 00:21:31,666 Maybe I'll get assassinated. 417 00:21:36,379 --> 00:21:39,799 - Selina, selina, selina. - Yes. What? 418 00:21:39,883 --> 00:21:42,469 - Life takes so many turns... - Yeah. 419 00:21:42,552 --> 00:21:44,554 I just want you to know where I'm coming from. 420 00:21:44,637 --> 00:21:45,722 All right. 421 00:21:45,805 --> 00:21:50,810 Monica, she's sweet, she's lovely, she's short-term. 422 00:21:50,894 --> 00:21:54,647 She's something to get me through the long nights, for now. 423 00:21:54,731 --> 00:21:57,984 Andrew, you know that we're at a funeral, right? We're not at club med. 424 00:21:58,067 --> 00:22:00,904 In here, it's always been you. 425 00:22:01,196 --> 00:22:03,198 - Gary: Mmm. - Wow. Wow. 426 00:22:04,324 --> 00:22:06,159 In a church. 427 00:22:06,409 --> 00:22:08,578 - Madam president. - Oh, Tom. 428 00:22:08,661 --> 00:22:10,681 - I'm so sorry for your loss. - Thank you very much. 429 00:22:10,705 --> 00:22:13,166 Thanks for being here, Tom. I appreciate it. 430 00:22:13,249 --> 00:22:15,001 I see that Charlie baird is here. 431 00:22:15,084 --> 00:22:16,920 Yes. Yeah, he flew in this morning. 432 00:22:17,837 --> 00:22:20,924 So, who's fisting the American economy while he's here? 433 00:22:21,049 --> 00:22:22,342 Really, Tom? 434 00:22:23,009 --> 00:22:24,677 My apologies, madam president. 435 00:22:24,761 --> 00:22:26,179 - God. - Charlie. 436 00:22:26,262 --> 00:22:27,514 - Tom my. - Yeah? 437 00:22:27,597 --> 00:22:29,349 - Ma'am. - Hang on, two seconds. 438 00:22:32,101 --> 00:22:34,103 -Hi, Gary. 439 00:22:34,187 --> 00:22:36,940 Wow. Your ex, not afraid to mix business with mourning. 440 00:22:37,023 --> 00:22:41,194 Yeah. How soon after meeting you did he ask you to invest in his latest venture? 441 00:22:41,277 --> 00:22:43,446 - Seventeen seconds. I timed it. - Really? 442 00:22:43,571 --> 00:22:47,617 Some can't-lose scheme about the third-largest hotel chain in Brazil. 443 00:22:47,700 --> 00:22:49,118 - Can't lose. - Can't lose. 444 00:22:49,202 --> 00:22:51,454 Got to see if I still have my wallet. 445 00:22:51,538 --> 00:22:53,373 - Ma'am, sorry to interrupt. - Yeah? 446 00:22:53,456 --> 00:22:55,291 - The eulogy is all set. - Okay. 447 00:22:55,375 --> 00:22:57,961 - And I added the good piano anecdote. - Perfect. 448 00:22:58,044 --> 00:23:00,630 - Ma'am, I don't know if that was the best... - No, it works. 449 00:23:00,713 --> 00:23:02,131 Andrew. 450 00:23:02,715 --> 00:23:05,927 Can anybody get in on this Brazil thing? I got a baby to pay for. 451 00:23:06,302 --> 00:23:09,639 Please let me play the Tim McGraw song. Okay? I have it all cued up. 452 00:23:09,722 --> 00:23:13,059 Seriously, Catherine, this is a funeral, not a Nascar race. 453 00:23:13,142 --> 00:23:14,703 I don't have the time for this right now. 454 00:23:14,727 --> 00:23:17,355 When do you have the time, then, mom? When? Okay? 455 00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:19,440 - Shh. - Because you don't like Tim McGraw, 456 00:23:19,524 --> 00:23:22,235 then nobody is supposed to like Tim McGraw. 457 00:23:22,318 --> 00:23:24,487 Catherine, you are forbidden 458 00:23:24,612 --> 00:23:27,532 from saying the words "Tim McGraw" ever again. 459 00:23:27,657 --> 00:23:29,659 Unbelievable. Mee-maw was so right about you. 460 00:23:29,784 --> 00:23:32,078 What is that supposed to mean? What is that... 461 00:23:32,161 --> 00:23:34,241 - Pardon me. Could I borrow you for a minute? - What? 462 00:23:34,330 --> 00:23:37,333 I've just been kibitzing with the Qatari ambassador, 463 00:23:37,458 --> 00:23:40,128 Mohammed bin nasser bin khalifa ai jaffar. 464 00:23:40,378 --> 00:23:42,147 - Please don't have him sign the guest book. - Yeah. 465 00:23:42,171 --> 00:23:43,774 Yeah, he comes bringing a message from China. 466 00:23:43,798 --> 00:23:45,633 Why would China go through Qatar? 467 00:23:45,717 --> 00:23:47,343 Qataris love to insert themselves. 468 00:23:47,468 --> 00:23:49,679 - They're wet-fingered. - They're into ass play? 469 00:23:49,846 --> 00:23:53,891 No, they have a gift for sensing prevailing political winds. 470 00:23:54,225 --> 00:23:56,019 I'll bet they're into ass play, too. 471 00:23:56,227 --> 00:23:58,062 Those people that you bring in, 472 00:23:58,187 --> 00:24:00,815 as they bring in people, you get a piece of that. 473 00:24:00,898 --> 00:24:01,983 I get a piece of that. 474 00:24:02,066 --> 00:24:04,902 In perpetuity. 475 00:24:05,737 --> 00:24:08,072 - Madam president. - Mr. Ambassador. 476 00:24:08,197 --> 00:24:10,533 So, I understand you have a message for me. 477 00:24:10,825 --> 00:24:11,951 What I say to you 478 00:24:12,035 --> 00:24:13,875 - is in the strictest of confidence. - Mmm-hmm. 479 00:24:13,995 --> 00:24:16,456 The sanctions you have threatened against our friends in China 480 00:24:16,539 --> 00:24:20,335 may undermine their very fragile economy at a most inopportune moment. 481 00:24:20,835 --> 00:24:24,839 But in exchange for easing the economic pressure, 482 00:24:25,548 --> 00:24:29,052 they would be open to indirect talks. 483 00:24:30,678 --> 00:24:32,597 What is on the table? 484 00:24:33,389 --> 00:24:34,724 Oh, everything. 485 00:24:35,183 --> 00:24:39,228 From climate change to human rights. We shall be in touch. 486 00:24:39,395 --> 00:24:41,397 Thank you, ambassador al... 487 00:24:43,066 --> 00:24:44,233 Okay. 488 00:24:46,736 --> 00:24:48,529 Well, that was mysterious, right? 489 00:24:48,946 --> 00:24:50,782 - Ma'am. They're ready for you. - Yeah. 490 00:24:50,907 --> 00:24:52,200 Let's get this show on the road. 491 00:24:52,742 --> 00:24:54,952 Priest: We are gathered together today 492 00:24:55,078 --> 00:24:57,747 to remember the life of Catherine calvert eaton. 493 00:24:57,872 --> 00:25:00,708 This China thing is like legacy material, right? 494 00:25:00,792 --> 00:25:04,045 Nobel peace prize material. 495 00:25:11,260 --> 00:25:12,679 What? 496 00:25:13,846 --> 00:25:15,139 I'll tell you after. 497 00:25:15,598 --> 00:25:16,683 Tell me now. 498 00:25:17,809 --> 00:25:19,435 Karen couldn't stop the count. 499 00:25:20,687 --> 00:25:24,774 We officially lost Nevada, so, we're gonna have to fight it out in congress. 500 00:25:24,857 --> 00:25:28,027 - And... - And what? What else? 501 00:25:29,112 --> 00:25:32,699 With all the new votes going to o'brien, we've... 502 00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:35,493 Kent. 503 00:25:36,202 --> 00:25:39,622 - We lost the popular vote. - Oh, god. 504 00:25:43,334 --> 00:25:44,627 Oh, wow. 505 00:25:45,545 --> 00:25:46,879 I'm so sorry, ma'am. 506 00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:49,716 - Sorry for your loss. - Yeah. 507 00:25:51,217 --> 00:25:52,468 Okay. 508 00:25:55,972 --> 00:25:57,557 I grieve with thee. 509 00:25:58,307 --> 00:26:00,768 Oh, thank you, Kent. 510 00:26:00,852 --> 00:26:04,313 As we begin our service, we will now hear from her daughter, 511 00:26:04,397 --> 00:26:05,857 president selina meyer. 512 00:26:16,826 --> 00:26:20,663 My mother had a good piano. 513 00:26:24,500 --> 00:26:29,589 I'm sorry. It's just all sort of hitting me right now. 514 00:26:32,383 --> 00:26:34,010 I have lost 515 00:26:37,180 --> 00:26:38,431 so much. 516 00:26:43,519 --> 00:26:45,438 I'm sorry. I can't. I can't. 517 00:26:46,856 --> 00:26:50,026 Catherine, play the Tim McGraw thing. 518 00:27:16,803 --> 00:27:19,722 Just not fair. This is just not fair. 519 00:27:45,832 --> 00:27:48,751 - A very moving eulogy. - Oh, thank you, George. 520 00:27:48,835 --> 00:27:50,675 When you feel up to it, you and Catherine and I 521 00:27:50,711 --> 00:27:54,215 should sit down and discuss the estate and how you fit into all of it. 522 00:27:54,882 --> 00:27:56,676 How I fit into the estate? 523 00:27:57,051 --> 00:28:00,847 It's not uncommon for an inheritance to skip a generation 524 00:28:00,930 --> 00:28:04,183 and your mother decided to leave the bulk of her estate to Catherine. 525 00:28:04,475 --> 00:28:05,560 The bulk? 526 00:28:06,102 --> 00:28:07,770 - It'll all be fine. - Yes. 527 00:28:09,272 --> 00:28:10,815 - Great speech. - Thank you. 528 00:28:10,898 --> 00:28:12,358 - Love that song. - Okay. 529 00:28:12,441 --> 00:28:14,944 Uh, sorry about what I said earlier. 530 00:28:15,027 --> 00:28:17,280 That was the grief talking. 531 00:28:17,613 --> 00:28:19,991 - All right. - Catherine, honey? 532 00:28:20,199 --> 00:28:22,451 - I need a tissue. - I don't have a tissue. 533 00:28:22,535 --> 00:28:23,703 Well, that's useless. 534 00:28:23,786 --> 00:28:25,037 - Ma'am. - Yes. 535 00:28:25,997 --> 00:28:27,248 I hated my father. 536 00:28:29,333 --> 00:28:30,459 Thank you, Tom. 537 00:28:31,002 --> 00:28:32,336 To congress we go. 538 00:28:33,212 --> 00:28:34,755 To congress we go, yeah. 539 00:28:38,092 --> 00:28:39,510 Congratulations.