1 00:00:06,257 --> 00:00:08,342 (Theme music playing) 2 00:00:18,603 --> 00:00:20,605 (Sirens wailing) 3 00:00:22,940 --> 00:00:25,693 Table for two under mclintock, Mike mclintock. 4 00:00:25,818 --> 00:00:27,320 Uh, yes. The table is ready. 5 00:00:27,987 --> 00:00:29,614 We're clear. Bring in sparrow. 6 00:00:29,947 --> 00:00:31,157 (All applauding) 7 00:00:31,282 --> 00:00:36,162 Listen, can I just, uh, reiterate once again how really, really sorry I am? 8 00:00:36,287 --> 00:00:39,373 Look at this. I guess they like us, huh? 9 00:00:39,790 --> 00:00:42,835 Hi! Wonderful! What were you saying? 10 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:46,631 How really sorry I am. And I'm not someone who loves to apologize. 11 00:00:46,797 --> 00:00:49,884 - Right, but you're loving it now, aren't you? - Loving it. Want another one? 12 00:00:49,967 --> 00:00:52,511 - Yeah, I do. - I'm really sorry. 13 00:00:52,637 --> 00:00:55,139 - I'm really, really, really sorry. - Now, sing it. 14 00:00:55,306 --> 00:00:58,226 The president and Mr. Baird enjoyed a delicious dinner 15 00:00:58,309 --> 00:01:01,604 of blue crabs trapped by local fisherman Steve yerkes 16 00:01:01,687 --> 00:01:04,106 and a cheese course including basil Hayden blue 17 00:01:04,190 --> 00:01:05,650 from Jasper hill, Vermont. 18 00:01:05,816 --> 00:01:07,818 Mike, how is she able to focus on the economy 19 00:01:07,944 --> 00:01:09,820 if she's running around with her new boyfriend? 20 00:01:09,946 --> 00:01:13,699 The president has always placed great value on fiscal responsibility. 21 00:01:13,824 --> 00:01:15,117 In fact, as vice president, 22 00:01:15,201 --> 00:01:17,370 she was chairman of the meyer postal commission, 23 00:01:17,620 --> 00:01:22,833 which reduced post office debt from $65 billion to just over $62 billion. 24 00:01:23,167 --> 00:01:25,127 Okay, eagle. Well, I'll see you in a few seconds. 25 00:01:25,211 --> 00:01:26,254 Yeah, bye. 26 00:01:26,337 --> 00:01:27,546 (Receiver clatters) 27 00:01:27,838 --> 00:01:30,549 - All right, we got six more votes this morning. - Whoo! (Laughs) 28 00:01:30,675 --> 00:01:31,995 We're never gonna close that gap. 29 00:01:32,718 --> 00:01:34,262 Well, on the less shitty side, 30 00:01:34,345 --> 00:01:36,156 people are really loving you and Charlie baird. 31 00:01:36,180 --> 00:01:38,099 Even wall street's got a boner for you guys. 32 00:01:38,182 --> 00:01:39,892 - Really? The market's up? - No, it's flat. 33 00:01:40,017 --> 00:01:42,478 But "not down" is straight up for us at this point. 34 00:01:42,561 --> 00:01:45,231 Madam president, we have received word that Chinese hackers 35 00:01:45,356 --> 00:01:47,692 have now breached the national security council servers. 36 00:01:47,817 --> 00:01:49,026 Selina: I got a great idea. 37 00:01:49,193 --> 00:01:51,904 Why don't we give the Chinese their own log-ins and passwords? 38 00:01:52,029 --> 00:01:54,198 Okay? Save everybody a lot of time. 39 00:01:54,323 --> 00:01:58,786 Ma'am, the fda is monitoring a salmonella outbreak at a Missouri chicken farm. 40 00:01:58,869 --> 00:02:00,871 - Got a few fowl questions. - What? 41 00:02:01,539 --> 00:02:02,779 Also from the comms department, 42 00:02:02,873 --> 00:02:07,044 multiple mentions of tomorrow's trip to the museum of natural history in New York City 43 00:02:07,169 --> 00:02:08,212 with Mr. Charlie baird. 44 00:02:08,337 --> 00:02:09,398 Sue: Office of the president. 45 00:02:09,422 --> 00:02:10,589 Notbad.phone. 46 00:02:11,924 --> 00:02:13,509 (Chuckling) Oh, listen to this. 47 00:02:13,592 --> 00:02:15,553 Charlie says o'brien won't go down on his wife 48 00:02:15,678 --> 00:02:17,013 without biscuits and gravy. 49 00:02:17,096 --> 00:02:18,347 (All laugh) 50 00:02:18,514 --> 00:02:21,350 Hey, can you show me how to find on Twitter, 51 00:02:21,434 --> 00:02:23,936 those tweets where people were gushing about me and Charlie? 52 00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:25,730 Oh, yeah. You see this button right here? 53 00:02:26,063 --> 00:02:28,941 Okay, so, listen, certification is tomorrow. 54 00:02:29,066 --> 00:02:30,985 I mean, seriously, do we have any reason 55 00:02:31,068 --> 00:02:33,696 to think that we're not as fucked as a senate page here? 56 00:02:33,863 --> 00:02:37,074 Actually, ma'am, I'm sorry I'm late. I think I may have found something. 57 00:02:37,199 --> 00:02:41,120 The voting data in Nevada is multiple standard deviations outside the means. 58 00:02:41,245 --> 00:02:43,164 Christ, Kent, know your audience. 59 00:02:43,247 --> 00:02:47,209 I think that there is statistical evidence of missing ballots in Nevada. 60 00:02:47,376 --> 00:02:48,836 - Where? - I do not know. 61 00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:50,379 - How many? - I do not know. 62 00:02:50,588 --> 00:02:52,298 - Are you sure? - Absolutely. 63 00:02:53,090 --> 00:02:56,403 Graydon Carter is begging for a photo spread of you and Charlie baird in vanity fair. 64 00:02:56,427 --> 00:02:59,472 Hey, Garfield, we're right in the middle of talking about Nevada, okay? 65 00:02:59,597 --> 00:03:01,098 Kent, what can you tell us? 66 00:03:01,223 --> 00:03:03,768 I might be able to pinpoint the vote anomaly 67 00:03:03,893 --> 00:03:07,730 if I could break down confounding variables using an intercept model. 68 00:03:07,813 --> 00:03:10,775 What Alan turing is trying to say is, if there are missing votes, 69 00:03:10,900 --> 00:03:12,419 - he needs time to find them. - Mmm-hmm. 70 00:03:12,443 --> 00:03:16,113 Selina: All right, then we have to delay the certification of the recount. 71 00:03:16,238 --> 00:03:17,406 Exactly my thought, madam. 72 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:20,284 I could have the lawyers file an injunction. 73 00:03:20,576 --> 00:03:22,953 - Bob, what do you think? - I think it's a weak case. 74 00:03:23,079 --> 00:03:25,289 Let me just take a meeting with Jim Whitman. 75 00:03:25,414 --> 00:03:30,211 And after I'm done dick-slapping him, he will have agreed to delay certification. 76 00:03:30,294 --> 00:03:33,130 - Amy, set it up. - The injunction, or the dick-slapping? 77 00:03:33,255 --> 00:03:35,132 Christ, Amy, the meeting. 78 00:03:35,257 --> 00:03:37,885 All right, gonna have to start chumming the media waters. 79 00:03:37,968 --> 00:03:42,306 I want you to get me on the horn with ned Mitchell from the Las Vegas gazette, 80 00:03:42,431 --> 00:03:44,308 and Susan Bailey with the Reno star. 81 00:03:44,433 --> 00:03:47,228 Amy, set it up. Sue Bailey, the Reno star, everything. 82 00:03:47,311 --> 00:03:48,979 Madam president, who would you say 83 00:03:49,105 --> 00:03:51,982 would be your best person to be at that meeting as my number two? 84 00:03:52,066 --> 00:03:53,275 - I could. - Richard. 85 00:03:54,110 --> 00:03:55,152 Oh, well... 86 00:03:55,277 --> 00:03:59,323 Okay, listen, ineed to talk to Bob privately, so everybody get out, please? 87 00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:00,950 - Even... - Yeah. 88 00:04:03,619 --> 00:04:06,497 Bob, I am going crazy here in d. C. 89 00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:10,459 I feel trapped like a Saudi housekeeper. 90 00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:13,838 Is there any way I could get to Nevada? 91 00:04:13,963 --> 00:04:16,424 Just let me win the presidency for you 92 00:04:16,507 --> 00:04:18,843 and then you can land air force one on the strip 93 00:04:18,968 --> 00:04:20,845 and piss in caesars' fountain if you want. 94 00:04:20,970 --> 00:04:22,096 Oh, come on, please, Bob, 95 00:04:22,179 --> 00:04:23,782 - I would never stay at caesars. - (Knock on door) 96 00:04:23,806 --> 00:04:25,015 Yes? What? 97 00:04:25,141 --> 00:04:27,435 Ma'am, weekly CIA briefing. 98 00:04:27,518 --> 00:04:28,936 See? Crapistan's calling. 99 00:04:29,019 --> 00:04:31,289 That's what I'm talking about. I'll talk to you later, though. 100 00:04:31,313 --> 00:04:35,025 - Catherine, do not use any of the vulgar parts. - Yeah, but that's like all of it, mom. 101 00:04:35,192 --> 00:04:37,111 - Well, then don't use it. - But it's a doc. 102 00:04:38,154 --> 00:04:39,989 - A what? - A documentary. 103 00:04:40,865 --> 00:04:42,533 Then say that. 104 00:04:46,704 --> 00:04:48,122 (Sighs) 105 00:04:49,165 --> 00:04:52,543 Never heard back from you. Late night? 106 00:04:53,878 --> 00:04:55,963 - Sophie told you? - What? 107 00:04:59,216 --> 00:05:00,301 Gross. 108 00:05:01,719 --> 00:05:03,239 You didn't tell me she worked for CBS. 109 00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:05,848 Oh. (Chuckles) 110 00:05:07,558 --> 00:05:08,726 This is too good. 111 00:05:09,185 --> 00:05:13,230 Dan, Sophie doesn't work for CBS. She works for cvs. 112 00:05:14,482 --> 00:05:17,735 You sold your dick for bulk iced tea and off-brand cough syrup. 113 00:05:17,902 --> 00:05:21,071 Don't worry. You're gonna look really cute in a blue vest. 114 00:05:23,407 --> 00:05:25,201 I am not having a good year. 115 00:05:26,577 --> 00:05:28,746 Unfortunately, ma'am, the man we captured 116 00:05:29,079 --> 00:05:31,499 is not, in fact, Abdullah saeed. 117 00:05:31,582 --> 00:05:33,417 Do the Israelis know anything about this? 118 00:05:33,501 --> 00:05:35,252 Because they're a sneaky bunch of fucks. 119 00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:37,004 Excuse me one second, ma'am. 120 00:05:39,715 --> 00:05:40,841 (Chuckles) 121 00:05:41,091 --> 00:05:45,179 So, uh, Mike mclintock, tonight for 8:30. Thank you. 122 00:05:45,763 --> 00:05:48,599 Sorry, Kent, salt and moon, new restaurant. 123 00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:50,768 Impressive. How did you secure a reservation there? 124 00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:53,437 Well, sue uses my name for potus reservations, 125 00:05:53,521 --> 00:05:55,689 so, when I call, I get an amazing table. 126 00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:57,024 I'm back on food. 127 00:05:57,107 --> 00:05:59,777 Doctor says the cleanse caused no lasting damage. 128 00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:03,572 @potus is tweeting? 129 00:06:03,739 --> 00:06:05,908 I'm the only one who's supposed to send her tweets. 130 00:06:05,991 --> 00:06:09,662 "Ha, ha, ha, @realcharliebaird. Here's one for you now." 131 00:06:09,745 --> 00:06:12,790 - The president is tweeting. - She's tweeting. 132 00:06:16,335 --> 00:06:18,587 Sorry, just... I just have to go in. 133 00:06:18,671 --> 00:06:20,815 - The president has... - I can't let you in there, sir. I'm sorry. 134 00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:23,026 Please, Marjorie, please. I have to talk to the president. 135 00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:24,093 Please take a step back. 136 00:06:24,176 --> 00:06:25,320 - Look, please. - (Phone chimes) 137 00:06:25,344 --> 00:06:26,971 - Oh, no. - (Chuckles) 138 00:06:27,054 --> 00:06:28,514 - Man: Uh, ma'am. - Yes? 139 00:06:28,764 --> 00:06:33,394 It turns out our prisoner's name is Abdullah faeed, a local schoolteacher. 140 00:06:33,477 --> 00:06:34,603 What is he doing? 141 00:06:36,146 --> 00:06:37,648 - What is that? - Beats me. 142 00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:40,067 Hi, ma'am. If you hear this, do not tweet. 143 00:06:40,150 --> 00:06:42,945 - Please, stop, ma'am... - Mike, what are you doing? 144 00:06:43,028 --> 00:06:44,572 - You tweeted. - What? 145 00:06:44,655 --> 00:06:47,700 - About o'brien. It wasn't nice. - I just direct-messaged Charlie. 146 00:06:47,783 --> 00:06:50,828 No, it was public. Everybody saw it on Twitter. 147 00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:52,389 - No, they didn't. - What did you tweet? 148 00:06:52,413 --> 00:06:55,332 What? It was just some funny joke I was just making... 149 00:06:55,416 --> 00:06:57,293 I pushed that feather button. 150 00:06:57,376 --> 00:06:59,229 - I know, you tweet... that's a tweet. - (Laughs) 151 00:06:59,253 --> 00:07:00,421 That's a tweet. 152 00:07:00,504 --> 00:07:01,648 Selina: Well, then delete it! 153 00:07:01,672 --> 00:07:03,215 - Delete it! - Just delete it! 154 00:07:03,299 --> 00:07:05,342 - Delete it! - Hey, hey, hey! 155 00:07:05,426 --> 00:07:06,719 - What? Okay. - Not here. 156 00:07:10,139 --> 00:07:12,600 Gary, I did it the way you showed me to do it. 157 00:07:13,267 --> 00:07:15,227 But that's not the way I showed you to do... 158 00:07:15,311 --> 00:07:18,272 That's exactly the way that you showed me to do it. 159 00:07:18,355 --> 00:07:19,666 Do you want me to show you again? 160 00:07:19,690 --> 00:07:22,651 I'll tell you what I want you to do. Nothing, okay? 161 00:07:22,735 --> 00:07:24,612 That's your punishment. Get out. 162 00:07:24,695 --> 00:07:26,113 Okay, I'll just go make some tea. 163 00:07:26,196 --> 00:07:27,823 You better not. 164 00:07:27,906 --> 00:07:32,328 The Swedish prime minister just retweeted your tweets with an "lol". 165 00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:35,581 Well, what the fol are we supposed to do about this? 166 00:07:35,706 --> 00:07:37,666 I suggest that we disavow the tweets. 167 00:07:37,750 --> 00:07:38,935 Phones are hacked all the time 168 00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:42,004 to steal pictures of celebrities' penises and whatnot. 169 00:07:42,087 --> 00:07:43,647 - Oh, my god. - Hold that thought, Kent. 170 00:07:43,714 --> 00:07:46,300 Madam president, are you sure you did this? 171 00:07:46,425 --> 00:07:47,926 What do you mean, am I sure? 172 00:07:48,010 --> 00:07:51,347 Well, maybe the white house computers aren't as secure as we think. 173 00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:55,559 Maybe the firewalls have more holes in them than a gold digger's diaphragm. 174 00:07:55,643 --> 00:07:57,311 My god, I hated those things. 175 00:07:58,187 --> 00:08:02,149 Wait a minute. There was a breach earlier today. 176 00:08:03,025 --> 00:08:06,654 Oh, my god, and maybe that breach concerned those tweets. 177 00:08:06,737 --> 00:08:07,821 Maybe it did. 178 00:08:07,905 --> 00:08:10,532 Oh, my god, maybe you had nothing to do with it. 179 00:08:10,783 --> 00:08:12,409 Oh, my god! 180 00:08:12,493 --> 00:08:18,374 In that case, China would be blamed for your messages going public, maybe. 181 00:08:18,749 --> 00:08:22,419 So, is that what I think happened? That China tweeted this? 182 00:08:22,503 --> 00:08:26,090 Oh, no, ma'am, no. You have no idea what happened. 183 00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:29,134 And neither does Mike, who would be outraged by this. 184 00:08:29,426 --> 00:08:30,820 Actually, ma'am, I have a better idea. 185 00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:32,805 No, you don't, Mike. History has proven that. 186 00:08:32,930 --> 00:08:35,349 Now, let me just run this by Bob 187 00:08:35,432 --> 00:08:37,434 and see if he thinks blaming China is a good idea. 188 00:08:37,518 --> 00:08:40,229 - This can't leave this room. - Can or can't? 189 00:08:40,312 --> 00:08:41,939 - It cannot, Mike. - Not! 190 00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:43,375 Why don't you just tell the truth? 191 00:08:43,399 --> 00:08:44,483 (Vocalizing mockingly) 192 00:08:44,566 --> 00:08:46,985 - I don't sound like that. - That's exactly how you sound. 193 00:08:47,152 --> 00:08:49,029 - No, I don't. - Spot on. 194 00:08:49,113 --> 00:08:50,239 Yeah, it's pretty close. 195 00:08:50,322 --> 00:08:52,122 I don't know where you get that impersonation. 196 00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:55,160 Ma'am, look, you have to make a decision now. 197 00:08:55,244 --> 00:08:59,164 I mean, can I really blame another country for something they didn't do? 198 00:08:59,248 --> 00:09:01,267 It's been the cornerstone of American foreign policy 199 00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:03,210 since the Spanish-American war. 200 00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:07,089 This morning, the white house cybersecurity was breached 201 00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:12,219 by what the NSA has come to believe was a hack that originated in mainland China. 202 00:09:12,302 --> 00:09:15,514 Mike, Mike, Mike, what about the president's tweet about senator o'brien? 203 00:09:15,681 --> 00:09:17,141 The president was horrified. 204 00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:21,729 Horrified by this latest violation of cybersecurity. 205 00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:25,107 The president believes cybersecurity is Paramount 206 00:09:25,774 --> 00:09:28,110 for the United States' future survival. 207 00:09:30,195 --> 00:09:31,822 Kent, any progress on the ballots? 208 00:09:32,322 --> 00:09:35,075 I've eliminated eight counties as potential locales, 209 00:09:35,159 --> 00:09:39,079 but there's no way around my doing a district-by-district regression analysis. 210 00:09:39,163 --> 00:09:41,790 Are we paying you by the word here, Kent, or what? Ben? 211 00:09:41,874 --> 00:09:43,000 Ben: He needs more time. 212 00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:44,626 Ma'am, we got o'brien on a live feed. 213 00:09:44,710 --> 00:09:47,087 Oh, boy. Well, we knew this was coming. Let's hear it. 214 00:09:47,212 --> 00:09:50,632 I will not dignify the president's petty remarks with a response. 215 00:09:50,716 --> 00:09:51,759 And yet he's responding. 216 00:09:51,842 --> 00:09:55,596 I do, however, want to point out that over 29 million people 217 00:09:55,679 --> 00:09:58,348 suffer from various forms of diabetes. 218 00:09:58,432 --> 00:09:59,516 Who cares? 219 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:04,146 What truly troubles me, however, is president meyer's timid response 220 00:10:04,229 --> 00:10:06,815 to a clear act of aggression. 221 00:10:06,899 --> 00:10:09,193 Did you just see that? Okay? 222 00:10:09,359 --> 00:10:11,045 We're gonna have to do something about China now. 223 00:10:11,069 --> 00:10:12,949 - No, you don't, ma'am. - I need to look strong. 224 00:10:13,238 --> 00:10:15,073 - If we lose Nevada... - "Nevada." 225 00:10:15,157 --> 00:10:17,826 O'brien is gonna kill us in the house over this China thing. 226 00:10:17,910 --> 00:10:22,206 - In reality, ma'am, China... - "In reality"? I know reality, Ben. 227 00:10:22,372 --> 00:10:24,392 You're the one who suggested we all live in the matrix. 228 00:10:24,416 --> 00:10:27,753 - Ma'am, nobody chose to live in the matrix. - What? 229 00:10:27,836 --> 00:10:30,422 The machines Rose up and placed humans in the matrix 230 00:10:30,506 --> 00:10:33,175 so they could use them as a biological power source. 231 00:10:33,258 --> 00:10:36,261 - Whose side were you on? - What about targeted sanctions? 232 00:10:36,345 --> 00:10:38,972 That will send a message of real strength, won't it? 233 00:10:39,056 --> 00:10:42,142 Or we could go to the United Nations and have them issue... 234 00:10:42,226 --> 00:10:45,687 Have them what? Have them help us park in front of a fire hydrant? 235 00:10:45,771 --> 00:10:47,022 I mean, come on. 236 00:10:47,105 --> 00:10:49,274 Ma'am, your focus now should be on Nevada. 237 00:10:49,358 --> 00:10:52,569 I'm president, in case you forgot. 238 00:10:52,778 --> 00:10:54,947 I know what I should focus on. 239 00:10:55,781 --> 00:10:56,865 Sorry, ma'am. 240 00:11:00,869 --> 00:11:03,121 - Jesus, you're still here? - I don't know why. 241 00:11:03,205 --> 00:11:06,875 My onlyjobs seem to be asking Bob and finding out what Bob thinks. 242 00:11:06,959 --> 00:11:11,004 Yeah, it's been pretty fun to watch. So, you want to grab a drink, or something? 243 00:11:11,296 --> 00:11:12,464 No, thanks. 244 00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:16,468 Oh, but on your way, would you mind stopping at abc news 245 00:11:16,552 --> 00:11:17,845 and picking up some advil? 246 00:11:17,928 --> 00:11:19,763 Did I say "abc news"? I meant "rite aid". 247 00:11:19,847 --> 00:11:21,282 Yeah, I think you're forgetting something, Amy, 248 00:11:21,306 --> 00:11:23,809 is that I still had sex with your sister, so... 249 00:11:24,101 --> 00:11:28,438 Good night, have a pleasant evening, and I had sex with your sister. 250 00:11:28,522 --> 00:11:32,276 Amy: You might actually want to go to rite aid. Get some Valtrex. 251 00:11:37,114 --> 00:11:38,198 Dan? 252 00:11:46,790 --> 00:11:48,250 - Hello? - Oh. 253 00:11:48,333 --> 00:11:49,893 Bob, I didn't know you were still here. 254 00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:51,879 Yeah. When's the meeting? 255 00:11:51,962 --> 00:11:54,256 - The Whitman meeting's tomorrow afternoon. - Tomorrow. 256 00:11:54,339 --> 00:11:57,217 You might want to go to your hotel and get some sleep. 257 00:11:57,301 --> 00:11:59,344 No, I got some more work to do. 258 00:11:59,803 --> 00:12:01,638 You have a good one, Jamie. 259 00:12:06,184 --> 00:12:08,478 Mike mclintock. I have a reservation. 260 00:12:08,562 --> 00:12:11,189 The mclintock party has already been seated. 261 00:12:11,315 --> 00:12:14,026 No, no, that's impossible 'cause he's Mike mclintock. 262 00:12:14,151 --> 00:12:15,736 Show her your driver's license. 263 00:12:15,819 --> 00:12:17,738 - I can't find it. - Again? 264 00:12:17,988 --> 00:12:21,909 - Uh, where exactly is the mclintock party? - Right over there. 265 00:12:24,036 --> 00:12:25,579 This is my table. 266 00:12:25,662 --> 00:12:27,915 And this is my fatjohnson and you can suck it 267 00:12:27,998 --> 00:12:30,518 as long as you promise not to put your dirty gay mustache on it. 268 00:12:30,542 --> 00:12:32,687 What is that, some kind of side effect from your aids medication, 269 00:12:32,711 --> 00:12:34,755 or did you shave it off of Freddie Mercury's corpse? 270 00:12:34,838 --> 00:12:37,466 Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to enjoy my bay scallop gateau. 271 00:12:37,549 --> 00:12:39,843 You... you're a bald jerk. 272 00:12:40,427 --> 00:12:41,553 Pardon me, Mrs. Furlong. 273 00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:43,847 Jesus, you think I married that? 274 00:12:44,014 --> 00:12:45,098 That's will's wife. 275 00:12:45,182 --> 00:12:48,769 Hi, Mike. It's good to see you. This is my wife Mary. 276 00:12:48,852 --> 00:12:52,064 Um, the congressman was kind enough to take us out to dinner on our anniversary. 277 00:12:52,189 --> 00:12:53,190 Hello. 278 00:12:53,523 --> 00:12:54,775 I guess will likes them old. 279 00:12:54,858 --> 00:12:57,027 Why don't you fuck off back to burger king? 280 00:12:57,194 --> 00:12:59,196 - Happy anniversary. - Hi, Wendy. 281 00:12:59,696 --> 00:13:00,822 We're going. We're going. 282 00:13:00,906 --> 00:13:02,532 Christ, she looks like a Batman villain. 283 00:13:03,367 --> 00:13:05,047 What'd dopey get you for your anniversary? 284 00:13:06,203 --> 00:13:07,621 And when I'm president, 285 00:13:07,746 --> 00:13:10,791 we will defend our digital borders 286 00:13:10,874 --> 00:13:15,212 just as diligently as we defend our physical ones. 287 00:13:15,879 --> 00:13:17,965 Yeah, can I get a secure line? 288 00:13:18,548 --> 00:13:19,758 (Phone ringing) 289 00:13:20,050 --> 00:13:21,426 - Bradley. - Selina: Bob. 290 00:13:21,551 --> 00:13:22,928 Oh, god, lhope I'm not waking you. 291 00:13:23,053 --> 00:13:25,138 - No, no, I'm always awake. (Laughs) - Great. 292 00:13:25,389 --> 00:13:26,765 So, this China thing. 293 00:13:26,890 --> 00:13:28,642 They did hack us, um, 294 00:13:29,893 --> 00:13:34,064 but they didn't exactly hack my Twitter account. 295 00:13:34,398 --> 00:13:36,566 - Say no more, madam president. - Oh, god, lknew it. 296 00:13:36,733 --> 00:13:38,053 I knew you would understand, Bob. 297 00:13:38,110 --> 00:13:40,988 It is so nice to finally be talking to a professional here. 298 00:13:41,071 --> 00:13:42,572 This is howl see it, okay? 299 00:13:42,656 --> 00:13:45,867 If I'm soft on China, I'm gonna get killed in the house. 300 00:13:45,951 --> 00:13:47,929 Your instincts are telling you you should be strong. 301 00:13:47,953 --> 00:13:50,414 Yes, you think my instincts are right? 302 00:13:50,497 --> 00:13:52,082 Does a bear piss in the shower? 303 00:13:52,249 --> 00:13:53,875 - You should lead. - I'm the leader. 304 00:13:53,959 --> 00:13:56,211 - You caught the fish, now gut the fish. - Gut the fish. 305 00:13:56,294 --> 00:13:59,214 You're wearing the fireman's hat, now put out the fire. 306 00:13:59,381 --> 00:14:02,592 - Yes! This is better than phone sex. - Well, I just came. 307 00:14:03,093 --> 00:14:05,053 Forget threatening sanctions, 308 00:14:05,137 --> 00:14:07,931 I should call on congress directly to Levy them. 309 00:14:08,056 --> 00:14:11,518 That's a bold move, madam president, and one that'll only earn you respect. 310 00:14:11,601 --> 00:14:13,645 Bob, thank you so much. 311 00:14:13,770 --> 00:14:18,442 Well, I'll be around for the next five to six hours if you need anything else. 312 00:14:19,443 --> 00:14:25,323 That is why today, I am announcing a set of unilateral sanctions 313 00:14:25,657 --> 00:14:28,493 starting with the freezing of all assets 314 00:14:28,618 --> 00:14:33,790 associated with the Chinese state-sponsored cyber espionage apparatus. 315 00:14:34,583 --> 00:14:35,584 Thank you. 316 00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:37,627 All: Madam president! 317 00:14:42,090 --> 00:14:44,593 Well, that seems to have shut o'brien up. 318 00:14:44,676 --> 00:14:47,304 - There's a new stegosaurus. - Well, that's not my problem. 319 00:14:47,429 --> 00:14:48,680 - Absolutely, ma 'am. - Rig ht. 320 00:14:49,139 --> 00:14:51,767 Hey, Amy. You all set for today's meeting? 321 00:14:51,850 --> 00:14:54,519 Ma'am, have you noticed... 322 00:14:54,644 --> 00:14:58,231 God, please back up your face, Amy, okay? Back it up. 323 00:14:58,315 --> 00:15:02,402 Have you noticed anything weird about Bob? He was acting a little off last night. 324 00:15:02,486 --> 00:15:03,904 That's just Bob being Bob. 325 00:15:03,987 --> 00:15:06,031 No, I know what this is about. 326 00:15:06,156 --> 00:15:09,951 Amy, you know that you are very important to the campaign, right? 327 00:15:10,035 --> 00:15:14,039 - No, this is not about my... - No, Amy, listen, you are doing a great job. 328 00:15:14,164 --> 00:15:17,793 A great, great, very good job. 329 00:15:17,959 --> 00:15:20,212 Ben, tell Amy what a great job that she's doing. 330 00:15:20,337 --> 00:15:21,671 One heck of a job, Amy. 331 00:15:21,797 --> 00:15:24,216 If the eagle told you that the eagle was acting odd, 332 00:15:24,341 --> 00:15:25,526 - would you listen to him? - Yeah. 333 00:15:25,550 --> 00:15:29,054 You got to trust the eagle. Why? Did he say something to you? 334 00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:33,247 Whitman: Is everybody's cell phone off? Bob: Yeah. (Chuckles) 335 00:15:33,350 --> 00:15:35,070 'Cause those things cause cancer, you know. 336 00:15:35,185 --> 00:15:37,979 - That's what I hear. Good to see you, Bob. - Good to see you. 337 00:15:38,063 --> 00:15:40,357 - Been a while, huh? - Yeah, it has indeed. 338 00:15:40,482 --> 00:15:44,194 I think the last time was at your ski cabin with your wife. 339 00:15:44,361 --> 00:15:46,071 I still got the cabin. 340 00:15:46,530 --> 00:15:48,365 (Both laugh) 341 00:15:48,532 --> 00:15:52,452 So, Bob, neither of us have time to waste with the certification so close. 342 00:15:52,536 --> 00:15:53,745 What's on your mind? 343 00:15:53,995 --> 00:15:57,499 What we have here is a classic thumb-in-the-apple-pie situation 344 00:15:57,582 --> 00:15:59,251 and grandma is mad as hell. 345 00:15:59,376 --> 00:16:01,062 - She spent all day cooking... - Look, Bob. Bob. 346 00:16:01,086 --> 00:16:03,964 We all know you're as folksy as a butter churn lamp, 347 00:16:04,047 --> 00:16:05,882 but let me out to the chase. 348 00:16:06,383 --> 00:16:08,218 From where I'm sitting, my boy's ahead. 349 00:16:08,385 --> 00:16:11,930 If you're here to beg for more time, take your cup and cane elsewhere. 350 00:16:13,557 --> 00:16:14,891 Hold that thought. 351 00:16:18,895 --> 00:16:20,021 (Chuckles) 352 00:16:23,525 --> 00:16:24,568 (Clears throat) 353 00:16:28,405 --> 00:16:29,990 - The gown is just gorgeous. - I know. 354 00:16:30,073 --> 00:16:31,843 - Did this come from India? - I don't know. Did you get it? 355 00:16:31,867 --> 00:16:34,369 - Just all of this just screams grace Kelly. - I know. 356 00:16:34,452 --> 00:16:35,787 Charlie is gonna flip. 357 00:16:35,912 --> 00:16:37,497 - I don't like my eyes, though. - What? 358 00:16:37,581 --> 00:16:40,250 Yeah, I feel like I've got two diaper bags underneath. 359 00:16:40,375 --> 00:16:42,210 - No, no, no, no. I don't think... - God. 360 00:16:42,294 --> 00:16:44,004 - I need my ring. - Okay. 361 00:16:44,087 --> 00:16:45,255 (Beeping) 362 00:16:45,589 --> 00:16:47,299 - Oh, Bob. - Evening. 363 00:16:47,424 --> 00:16:49,360 Hi, you're getting ready to go to the Whitman meeting, right? 364 00:16:49,384 --> 00:16:51,224 Mmm-hmm. There's never been a Whitman's sampler 365 00:16:51,303 --> 00:16:54,431 I couldn't take apart piece by piece and shit out, madam president. 366 00:16:54,764 --> 00:16:56,159 - I love to hear that. - Okay, beautiful. 367 00:16:56,183 --> 00:16:57,618 Okay, you're hanging on to me like a skin tag. 368 00:16:57,642 --> 00:16:58,727 Hey, you know what? 369 00:16:58,810 --> 00:17:01,521 Could you go and tell Charlie I'll be like, just a couple minutes? 370 00:17:01,605 --> 00:17:02,790 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. - Thank you very much. 371 00:17:02,814 --> 00:17:06,067 So, listen, I talked to Kent and he really needs as much time as possible, 372 00:17:06,151 --> 00:17:09,487 so whatever you could do to buy more time to delay the certifica... 373 00:17:12,282 --> 00:17:15,160 Bob? Are you all right? Can you hear me? 374 00:17:15,619 --> 00:17:18,163 - Is there someone in here? - What? 375 00:17:18,955 --> 00:17:21,499 - What is this? - Bob, is Richard there? 376 00:17:23,126 --> 00:17:24,211 Bob, are you okay? 377 00:17:25,295 --> 00:17:26,880 Fuck. You know what? 378 00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:30,425 Iwonder... I think maybe we should delay the meeting. 379 00:17:30,508 --> 00:17:33,303 Not a chance, Mr. President. I'm locked and loaded. 380 00:17:33,637 --> 00:17:35,555 - "Madam president". - A lady president? 381 00:17:36,014 --> 00:17:39,142 - Yeah, maybe in the year 2000. - Bob! 382 00:17:39,851 --> 00:17:41,645 Oh, my god. Jesus Christ! 383 00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:44,940 - Mr. Baird, Mr. Baird. I'm so sorry. - Excuse me. 384 00:17:45,023 --> 00:17:46,103 I know everybody's waiting, 385 00:17:46,149 --> 00:17:48,211 but she just texted and she's running a little bit late. 386 00:17:48,235 --> 00:17:50,546 You sure she just texted or did she tweet the entire world? 387 00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:52,030 (Laughs) 388 00:17:52,489 --> 00:17:53,615 It's okay, she's not here. 389 00:17:53,698 --> 00:17:55,992 All right, well, then let's just sit down. 390 00:17:56,076 --> 00:17:57,953 - Wait, you want... - It's fine. It's fine. 391 00:17:58,036 --> 00:17:59,472 - She won't care. - I don't know if... 392 00:17:59,496 --> 00:18:01,515 Howard, would you do me a favor and slide over for my pal? 393 00:18:01,539 --> 00:18:02,582 Sure. 394 00:18:02,666 --> 00:18:03,851 I don't know if this is such a good idea. 395 00:18:03,875 --> 00:18:05,877 It's 250 grand. I bought the table. Sit down. 396 00:18:07,212 --> 00:18:09,506 Gary is a key member of the meyer administration. 397 00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:11,174 So kind. Thank you. 398 00:18:11,508 --> 00:18:14,386 - You have a card? - No, just a bag. 399 00:18:15,053 --> 00:18:17,597 Guys, something is deeply wrong with Bob. 400 00:18:17,681 --> 00:18:19,933 - What? - I'm talking like blood-in-the-urine wrong. 401 00:18:20,016 --> 00:18:21,494 Yes, that's what I've been trying to tell you. 402 00:18:21,518 --> 00:18:23,687 No, not now, Amy, okay? Just focus on this. 403 00:18:24,229 --> 00:18:27,774 Amy, this is really bad. Oh. Hello, ma'am. 404 00:18:27,857 --> 00:18:31,194 - What's bad? - Can I tell Amy and have her tell you? 405 00:18:31,278 --> 00:18:33,029 Jonah, just speak. What is it? 406 00:18:33,113 --> 00:18:35,657 Ma 'am, I've been trying to get Mr. Bradley on the phone 407 00:18:35,740 --> 00:18:37,575 with ned Mitchell from the Las Vegas gazette. 408 00:18:37,701 --> 00:18:40,787 - Rig ht. - Ned Mitchell died in 2006. 409 00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:42,998 And the Las Vegas gazette stopped publishing in 2007. 410 00:18:43,081 --> 00:18:44,165 Oh, my god. 411 00:18:44,249 --> 00:18:47,377 I was able to get in touch with Susan Bailey at the Reno star, 412 00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:50,880 which is not a newspaper, it's a legal brothel. 413 00:18:50,964 --> 00:18:54,050 But she did seem excited to help the campaign in whichever way she could. 414 00:18:54,134 --> 00:18:57,887 Jesus Christ, ma 'am. I'm so sorry. He just seemed like the same old Bob to me. 415 00:18:57,971 --> 00:19:00,807 Ma 'am, this morning, he told me that Jews cause hurricanes. 416 00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:02,976 He just went into this Whitman meeting, you guys! 417 00:19:03,059 --> 00:19:05,729 What if he takes a shit on the table, or something? 418 00:19:05,812 --> 00:19:07,915 Ma'am, at his age, if he can take a shit whenever he wants, 419 00:19:07,939 --> 00:19:09,065 that's a major victory. 420 00:19:09,149 --> 00:19:12,819 All right, Amy, this meeting cannot make it past the school book depository. 421 00:19:12,902 --> 00:19:14,714 I'm loading my gun and heading to the sixth floor. 422 00:19:14,738 --> 00:19:17,240 Selina: Well, then, go, go, go! Ben, don't hang up. 423 00:19:17,907 --> 00:19:22,245 I've got to tell you something. Bob knows there wasn't a Chinese hack. 424 00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:24,998 I think I might have told him. 425 00:19:25,081 --> 00:19:26,249 Well, don't worry, ma 'am. 426 00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:29,002 We'll get him on the first flight out of Nevada 427 00:19:29,085 --> 00:19:32,589 and we'll shove his ass out somewhere over Oklahoma. 428 00:19:34,090 --> 00:19:36,593 Alzheimer's or no, I image-searched Susan Bailey 429 00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:38,595 and she is legit fuckable. 430 00:19:38,762 --> 00:19:40,347 Hi, this is Dan, leave a message. 431 00:19:40,430 --> 00:19:42,307 Shit! Thing two. 432 00:19:42,432 --> 00:19:44,184 Honestly, her rates are reasonable. 433 00:19:44,267 --> 00:19:46,186 This is Richard splett and I'm here to say 434 00:19:46,269 --> 00:19:48,021 you should leave a message for me every day 435 00:19:48,104 --> 00:19:49,415 - Richard, call... - Your name, your number... 436 00:19:49,439 --> 00:19:52,525 - Can you go any faster? - Amy, if you had rented me a sebring, yes, 437 00:19:52,609 --> 00:19:54,027 - I could. - Just go! Go, go! 438 00:19:56,112 --> 00:19:58,865 This is like that famous scene from the movie heat. 439 00:19:59,032 --> 00:20:01,785 You know, with de niro and brenneman. 440 00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:03,908 Just thinking about that scene gives me goose bumps. 441 00:20:05,455 --> 00:20:06,539 The fuck is going on? 442 00:20:06,623 --> 00:20:11,211 Look, Mr. Whitman, sir, I'm sure that Mr. Bradley will be right back... 443 00:20:13,046 --> 00:20:14,130 Very soon. 444 00:20:16,132 --> 00:20:19,719 You know, I'm just gonna step out, make sure that Bob doesn't need anything. 445 00:20:19,803 --> 00:20:20,970 Be right back. 446 00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:25,350 Good evening, everyone. 447 00:20:25,475 --> 00:20:26,915 Uh, before we start, I would like to 448 00:20:26,976 --> 00:20:29,229 acknowledge the chairman of tonight's dinner, 449 00:20:29,521 --> 00:20:32,690 and a longtime generous benefactor of this unique institution, 450 00:20:33,483 --> 00:20:34,818 Mr. Charles baird, Jr. 451 00:20:34,984 --> 00:20:37,654 (All applauding) 452 00:20:38,655 --> 00:20:39,989 Thank you, Steve. 453 00:20:40,407 --> 00:20:43,535 Uh, I'd like to say dig in, but my date is running late. 454 00:20:43,701 --> 00:20:44,786 (Laughing) 455 00:20:44,869 --> 00:20:45,912 Presidents, right? 456 00:20:46,204 --> 00:20:49,082 Well, hopefully, she arrives before we all turn into fossils. 457 00:20:49,165 --> 00:20:50,750 (Laughing) 458 00:20:51,209 --> 00:20:53,062 Selina: Why is nobody answering their phones right now? 459 00:20:53,086 --> 00:20:55,505 Hang on, ma'am. I'm gonna try Dan again. 460 00:20:56,089 --> 00:20:57,632 - Hey. - Dan, you're on with the... 461 00:20:57,715 --> 00:21:01,678 Dan, are your ears on mute? I've called you like 80 times. 462 00:21:01,886 --> 00:21:03,864 - You're on with the president. - Dan: Sorry, ma'am. 463 00:21:03,888 --> 00:21:06,768 Whitman made us turn our phones off before Bob walked out of the meeting. 464 00:21:06,850 --> 00:21:08,560 What do you mean? The meeting is over? 465 00:21:08,685 --> 00:21:11,813 Well, no, but that didn't stop the eagle from flying out onto the street 466 00:21:11,896 --> 00:21:12,939 and getting in a cab. 467 00:21:13,064 --> 00:21:15,184 Yeah, turns out he's nuttier than a squirrel's diaper. 468 00:21:15,233 --> 00:21:17,211 - Tell Jonah to shut the fuck up. - Shut the fuck up. 469 00:21:17,235 --> 00:21:19,487 If the meeting's still going on, who's with Whitman? 470 00:21:19,571 --> 00:21:22,699 - Richard. - Oh, thank god. 471 00:21:23,199 --> 00:21:24,617 Hate to say, "I told you so." 472 00:21:24,701 --> 00:21:27,036 - Shut the fuck up. - Shut the fuck up, Jonah. 473 00:21:29,247 --> 00:21:31,541 Mr. Splett, where's Bob Bradley? 474 00:21:31,624 --> 00:21:33,501 Honestly, I was gonna ask you that. 475 00:21:33,585 --> 00:21:36,665 Do you mind if I get a picture with you for my blog "let's talk about splett"? 476 00:21:38,631 --> 00:21:40,800 Tell the eagle it was great to see him. 477 00:21:40,884 --> 00:21:42,594 And at 6:00 pm. Tomorrow, 478 00:21:42,719 --> 00:21:45,305 every vote in this state will be counted and certified. 479 00:21:45,388 --> 00:21:46,973 Well, not every vote. 480 00:21:47,223 --> 00:21:48,558 Funny thing about elections, 481 00:21:48,725 --> 00:21:50,411 historically, there have always been leftover ballots. 482 00:21:50,435 --> 00:21:54,397 Sometimes up to 16% end up missing or maybe thrown out. 483 00:21:54,772 --> 00:21:57,317 - Is that what this is about? - I'm so sorry for... 484 00:21:57,400 --> 00:21:59,569 The missing ballots in washoe county. 485 00:21:59,944 --> 00:22:03,990 We looked all over for them, came up empty. So, best of luck to you. 486 00:22:04,073 --> 00:22:07,118 And if you do happen to find as much as one new vote, 487 00:22:07,243 --> 00:22:08,244 we'll see you in court. 488 00:22:08,578 --> 00:22:09,662 Thank you. 489 00:22:11,289 --> 00:22:13,541 Holy bacon double asperger's. 490 00:22:13,625 --> 00:22:15,835 - How did you do that? - I'm sorry, what? 491 00:22:16,419 --> 00:22:19,130 Amy, what are your top five favorite de niro movies? 492 00:22:19,255 --> 00:22:21,942 And you can't say meet the parents 'cause that's automatically number one. 493 00:22:21,966 --> 00:22:25,303 Kent, it's washoe county. Don't ask me how I know. 494 00:22:25,637 --> 00:22:28,389 Kent, get the justice department on this, okay? 495 00:22:28,473 --> 00:22:31,351 You give them your statistical whatever it is to narrow it down, right? 496 00:22:31,434 --> 00:22:33,674 - You mean my data narrative matrices. - Yeah, the datas. 497 00:22:33,770 --> 00:22:37,482 Amy, is there any sign of the eagle or is he crossing america on a lawn mower? 498 00:22:37,607 --> 00:22:40,109 Ma'am, we really ought to get someone in court right away 499 00:22:40,193 --> 00:22:42,254 to file a hail Mary injunction to extend the deadline, 500 00:22:42,278 --> 00:22:43,797 someone who can stall till we find the ballots. 501 00:22:43,821 --> 00:22:46,366 Selina: I already thought about that. I've got it covered. 502 00:22:50,119 --> 00:22:51,329 (Clears throat) 503 00:22:52,288 --> 00:22:53,331 Mmm-hmm. 504 00:22:58,503 --> 00:23:01,339 So, the lady-in-waiting came over to us and she said, 505 00:23:01,464 --> 00:23:04,884 "her majesty thought perhaps you would like to see her crown." 506 00:23:04,968 --> 00:23:09,222 Imagine a shy kid from Birmingham, Alabama, and the queen of england... 507 00:23:09,305 --> 00:23:11,849 Ladies and gentlemen, the president of the United States. 508 00:23:11,975 --> 00:23:13,518 (All applauding) 509 00:23:13,643 --> 00:23:15,019 Thank you. 510 00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:16,980 Thank you. Look at that. 511 00:23:17,063 --> 00:23:19,857 That's sort of a gray-blue dress. Isn't that something? 512 00:23:20,316 --> 00:23:22,443 Hi, feeling good in Nevada. 513 00:23:22,527 --> 00:23:23,736 Nifty in Nevada. 514 00:23:25,363 --> 00:23:28,199 - You look fantastic. - Yeah, I need a drink. 515 00:23:28,700 --> 00:23:31,160 Indeed I do. Everybody, please, sit down. 516 00:23:31,494 --> 00:23:34,372 I am so excited to hear all about the... 517 00:23:35,373 --> 00:23:37,458 Stegosaurus, the armored plant-eater. 518 00:23:37,542 --> 00:23:40,378 - Stegosaurus, the arm... Gary? - Mmm-hmm? 519 00:23:40,503 --> 00:23:44,132 I dropped my lipstick somewhere between here and the motorcade. 520 00:23:44,215 --> 00:23:46,884 - Okay, I got one right here. Uh-huh. - No, go get that one. 521 00:23:47,010 --> 00:23:48,803 So, what did I miss? 522 00:23:48,886 --> 00:23:51,681 We just heard a lovely story about the queen of england. 523 00:23:51,764 --> 00:23:55,184 She's a fucking cunt. You didn't hear it from me. 524 00:23:57,520 --> 00:24:00,231 We're still searching for the votes, so we need you to stall. 525 00:24:00,356 --> 00:24:04,569 Amy, I respect the sanctity of this courtroom far too much to "stall." 526 00:24:04,902 --> 00:24:07,530 This is a simple and straightfonnard case. 527 00:24:07,905 --> 00:24:10,908 Although, in many ways, that's what makes it so complicated. 528 00:24:11,034 --> 00:24:12,094 - You see... - (Gavel bangs) 529 00:24:12,118 --> 00:24:13,286 That's good. Do that. 530 00:24:13,745 --> 00:24:16,497 The court will hear the matter of meyer v. Nevada, 531 00:24:16,581 --> 00:24:18,249 a motion to delay certification. 532 00:24:18,374 --> 00:24:22,045 Before we begin, I would love to define a few key terms. 533 00:24:22,879 --> 00:24:25,715 "Vote". What is a vote? 534 00:24:26,257 --> 00:24:27,884 Well, I think that's pretty obvious. 535 00:24:28,217 --> 00:24:29,510 Oh, is it, your honor? 536 00:24:30,094 --> 00:24:33,931 In many cultures, the word "vote" can mean a myriad of things. 537 00:24:35,099 --> 00:24:39,354 It can mean a celebration. It can mean a dance around a fire. 538 00:24:39,604 --> 00:24:42,106 It can mean a silent nod. 539 00:24:42,982 --> 00:24:46,152 In this room, what does it mean? 540 00:24:46,319 --> 00:24:50,281 Any news on creaky McGee? Seriously, we have got to find Bob before... 541 00:24:50,365 --> 00:24:52,509 Look at this, how beautiful you look. And check this out. 542 00:24:52,533 --> 00:24:55,203 No, no. What about the Nevada state police? 543 00:24:55,286 --> 00:24:57,640 - Ma'am, there's nothing. - Selina: Oh, never mind. We got him. 544 00:24:57,664 --> 00:24:59,123 What? Where is he? 545 00:24:59,832 --> 00:25:01,876 - Here. - Good morning. 546 00:25:01,959 --> 00:25:03,294 Hi, Bob. 547 00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:04,962 -Hey. 548 00:25:05,046 --> 00:25:07,840 I am so happy to see you. 549 00:25:08,216 --> 00:25:09,926 What kind of soup do you have today? 550 00:25:10,301 --> 00:25:13,388 Um, what kind of soup is on your mind? 551 00:25:14,472 --> 00:25:16,140 Well, what is today? 552 00:25:17,809 --> 00:25:19,227 - It's Thursday. - It's Thursday. 553 00:25:19,310 --> 00:25:20,728 - Thursday? - Yup. 554 00:25:20,978 --> 00:25:24,065 - Navy bean. So delicious. - (Chuckles) 555 00:25:24,148 --> 00:25:26,859 Ma'am, you want to... hey, Bob. 556 00:25:26,943 --> 00:25:28,611 Bob Bradley. Nice to meet you, sir. 557 00:25:28,986 --> 00:25:30,655 They found the ballots. 558 00:25:30,738 --> 00:25:31,864 - Selina: Seriously? - Yeah. 559 00:25:33,074 --> 00:25:34,742 Excuse me, Bob. 560 00:25:35,535 --> 00:25:36,828 Breaking news out of Nevada. 561 00:25:36,911 --> 00:25:39,872 Acting on a tip, us justice department deputies 562 00:25:39,956 --> 00:25:43,751 found an estimated 10,000 uncounted mail-in ballots 563 00:25:43,835 --> 00:25:45,395 from last week's presidential election. 564 00:25:45,420 --> 00:25:46,462 Come on. 565 00:25:46,546 --> 00:25:50,341 Reporter: In the house of this man, 54-year-old us postal worker Vance otlow. 566 00:25:50,425 --> 00:25:51,592 Look at this guy. 567 00:25:51,676 --> 00:25:53,028 - (Laughing) - Otlow had grown more erratic 568 00:25:53,052 --> 00:25:56,973 following post office closures last year by the meyer postal commission. 569 00:25:57,265 --> 00:25:58,850 Ten thousand ballots! 570 00:25:58,933 --> 00:26:03,229 From a district with an empirically high applied demography value. 571 00:26:03,896 --> 00:26:07,316 I don't know what you're saying, but you keep doing that math stuff, Kent, 572 00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:09,211 no matter how much anyone makes fun of you, okay? 573 00:26:09,235 --> 00:26:10,555 - Yes, ma'am. - All right, listen. 574 00:26:10,695 --> 00:26:13,197 Karen has got to get those ballots admitted, right? 575 00:26:14,073 --> 00:26:16,159 She will or she won't. 576 00:26:16,242 --> 00:26:18,995 Amy, I know the last couple days have not been ideal. 577 00:26:19,078 --> 00:26:20,830 To say the least, ma'am. 578 00:26:20,913 --> 00:26:25,042 I just want you to know that I could not have done it without Richard 579 00:26:25,126 --> 00:26:28,379 and I want you to please relay my thanks to him. 580 00:26:28,504 --> 00:26:30,423 - I'll get right on that. - Ah! 581 00:26:30,673 --> 00:26:32,759 Ma'am, from our ambassador to China. 582 00:26:32,842 --> 00:26:36,137 As I feared, the Chinese are responding to your threat of sanctions. 583 00:26:36,554 --> 00:26:40,516 - Can I not have just one minute to enjoy this? - I'll ask the Chinese. 584 00:26:41,768 --> 00:26:43,478 Your honors, I have just been informed 585 00:26:43,561 --> 00:26:47,440 that uncounted ballots have been discovered in washoe county. 586 00:26:47,815 --> 00:26:50,401 I'd like to move that those be included in the recount. 587 00:26:50,485 --> 00:26:53,112 Objection, the deadline has already passed. 588 00:26:53,196 --> 00:26:56,949 Your honor, how is counsel defining "deadline" and "passed"? 589 00:26:57,408 --> 00:26:58,993 Your honor, objection! 590 00:27:00,453 --> 00:27:03,414 The deadline will be extended until we can hear on this matter. 591 00:27:03,498 --> 00:27:06,459 We will reconvene tomorrow at 10:00 am. 592 00:27:06,542 --> 00:27:07,668 (Gavelbangs) 593 00:27:07,794 --> 00:27:10,546 After today's stunning turn of events in Nevada, 594 00:27:10,630 --> 00:27:13,883 the president has asked Bob Bradley, the eagle, to return to Washington 595 00:27:13,966 --> 00:27:17,470 as her new cybersecurity czar, effective immediately. 596 00:27:18,346 --> 00:27:20,723 Also, the state department is reporting 597 00:27:20,807 --> 00:27:24,101 the Chinese government announced a series of measures aimed at the us. 598 00:27:24,352 --> 00:27:27,438 New restrictions on American imports into China, 599 00:27:27,522 --> 00:27:29,816 freezing of us investment funds in China. 600 00:27:31,651 --> 00:27:35,488 A ban on all foreign adoptions by American citizens. 601 00:27:37,573 --> 00:27:39,742 - A bunch of other stuff. - All: Mike! Mike! 602 00:27:39,826 --> 00:27:42,036 Will the president move fonnard with her sanctions? 603 00:27:42,370 --> 00:27:43,538 I don't know. 604 00:27:43,621 --> 00:27:45,331 (Reporters chattering) 605 00:27:46,541 --> 00:27:48,209 I'm gonna have to call my wife. 606 00:27:51,254 --> 00:27:52,814 I didn't know there was a sub-basement. 607 00:27:52,839 --> 00:27:54,841 - Nice and cool. - Yeah, it's nice. 608 00:27:54,924 --> 00:27:57,093 - A lot of supplies here. - This is mine, right? 609 00:27:57,176 --> 00:27:58,636 - Oh, yeah. - Oh, boy. 610 00:27:59,262 --> 00:28:01,222 And here we go, eagle, your new nest. 611 00:28:01,305 --> 00:28:03,724 Now, I don't think my cell phone's gonna work here. 612 00:28:03,808 --> 00:28:06,102 - No. Good luck. - Great. 613 00:28:07,854 --> 00:28:09,146 Thanks, buttfucker.