1 00:00:15,725 --> 00:00:17,244 - Hello? - Selina: Okay, what's happening, Amy? 2 00:00:17,268 --> 00:00:20,271 Morning, madam president. It's 5:00 am. 3 00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:23,107 - And Nevada is still asleep. - Hello? What? 4 00:00:23,191 --> 00:00:25,860 Well, wake it the fuck up 'cause I'm wondering if we should remove 5 00:00:25,943 --> 00:00:28,070 the native American precincts from the recount list. 6 00:00:28,154 --> 00:00:30,114 I'm having reservations about the reservations. 7 00:00:30,239 --> 00:00:32,825 So figure that out and call me right back. I'm at Walter Reed. 8 00:00:32,909 --> 00:00:36,120 I'm meeting troops and shaking god only knows what. 9 00:00:36,287 --> 00:00:37,455 Okay. 10 00:00:54,138 --> 00:00:57,492 These are from the president's last set of precinct changes for the recount challenge? 11 00:00:57,516 --> 00:00:59,703 Yes, and the changes before that and the changes before that. 12 00:00:59,727 --> 00:01:02,855 She's changed her mind more times than a fricking child molester at Disneyland. 13 00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:05,375 You need to file this at the courthouse in exactly 17 minutes. 14 00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:06,543 Yeah, and if you miss the deadline, 15 00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:08,253 find a rattlesnake and shove that up your dick hole 16 00:01:08,277 --> 00:01:09,963 'cause it's a lot more fun than what I'll do to you. 17 00:01:09,987 --> 00:01:11,489 And drive safe. 18 00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:16,285 We've got hallowes, Bennett, and Gabby ramos doing press in Carson city 19 00:01:16,369 --> 00:01:17,954 and Maddox is flying in tonight. 20 00:01:18,037 --> 00:01:20,157 Oh, god, Maddox is probably going to study the effects 21 00:01:20,206 --> 00:01:22,291 of legalized prostitution on his dick. 22 00:01:23,209 --> 00:01:24,418 Catherine, out. 23 00:01:24,961 --> 00:01:26,420 All right, so do we have any idea 24 00:01:26,545 --> 00:01:28,190 what this o'brien press conference is about? 25 00:01:28,214 --> 00:01:29,715 - No idea. - Perfect. 26 00:01:29,799 --> 00:01:32,119 We're working on our video connection with Amy as we speak. 27 00:01:32,176 --> 00:01:34,845 Well, maybe we can get some six-year-old Asian kid to fix it. 28 00:01:35,304 --> 00:01:37,807 - Mike, when's your baby coming? - Coming soon, ma'am. 29 00:01:38,140 --> 00:01:40,142 We're gonna name her Ellen after Wendy's mom. 30 00:01:40,226 --> 00:01:42,895 Actually, her stepmom. She has a difficult relation... 31 00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:45,439 Misunderstood your level of interest, sorry. 32 00:01:45,564 --> 00:01:47,668 Amy: Hey, guys, watching the press conference? 33 00:01:47,692 --> 00:01:51,737 Yeah. Amy, just listen a bit before you start talking. 34 00:01:52,029 --> 00:01:54,282 - Our founding fathers... - All right, here we go. 35 00:01:54,365 --> 00:01:57,618 Entrusted the American people with the right to choose... 36 00:01:57,702 --> 00:01:59,078 I mean, will you look at montez? 37 00:01:59,245 --> 00:02:01,122 Seriously, I'm more hispanic than she is. 38 00:02:01,289 --> 00:02:03,249 You know? Where's she from, santo Connecticut? 39 00:02:03,416 --> 00:02:05,334 Ben: She summers in vineyardo del Martha. 40 00:02:05,418 --> 00:02:06,877 Can montez look less hispanic? 41 00:02:07,378 --> 00:02:09,338 Selina: Jesus, Amy, we already covered that, okay? 42 00:02:09,380 --> 00:02:11,215 She's from El New Hampshire. 43 00:02:12,925 --> 00:02:16,804 James Whitman to head up our recount team. 44 00:02:16,887 --> 00:02:20,099 - Jesus! They got James Whitman. - This is not optimal. 45 00:02:20,391 --> 00:02:23,728 Where I'm from a vote is a vote, the law is the law, 46 00:02:23,811 --> 00:02:26,105 - and the count is the count. - He makes a lot of sense. 47 00:02:26,230 --> 00:02:29,150 All right, so they've got a secretary of state and what do I have? 48 00:02:29,233 --> 00:02:31,110 Harpo, chico, and shito. 49 00:02:31,235 --> 00:02:32,754 - You know who we need? - Who? Who do we need? 50 00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:34,113 Bob Bradley, my old mentor. 51 00:02:34,238 --> 00:02:35,948 - The eagle. - That'd be amazing. 52 00:02:36,073 --> 00:02:38,576 Served in more administrations than any man alive. 53 00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:40,095 Also an accomplished ballroom dancer. 54 00:02:40,119 --> 00:02:42,705 Okay, great, done. Let's get him. Bob Bradley. 55 00:02:42,788 --> 00:02:45,374 - He's our Whitman hit man. - Madam president, excuse me. 56 00:02:45,458 --> 00:02:47,561 I have the meeting with the Nevada secretary of state. 57 00:02:47,585 --> 00:02:49,438 Oh, Amy, don't forget to bring Richard with you. 58 00:02:49,462 --> 00:02:51,172 Wait, really? Richard? He's... 59 00:02:52,256 --> 00:02:54,884 Ma'am, the dod wants us to know that now the Chinese hackers 60 00:02:54,967 --> 00:02:56,761 have breached white house employee files. 61 00:02:56,969 --> 00:02:59,281 Maybe they can find out what some of these people are doing. 62 00:02:59,305 --> 00:03:00,348 Ooh, tell me about it. 63 00:03:00,431 --> 00:03:03,768 Oh, and you have a drop-by at a brunch to thank campaign volunteers. 64 00:03:04,101 --> 00:03:05,144 To thank them for what? 65 00:03:05,269 --> 00:03:07,605 This olympic-size swimming pool of shit 66 00:03:07,813 --> 00:03:09,607 that I'm doing the backstroke in right now? 67 00:03:09,815 --> 00:03:11,192 Not a good idea to cancel, ma'am. 68 00:03:11,442 --> 00:03:14,320 Make Tom do it. He loves all that fake smiley shit. 69 00:03:14,445 --> 00:03:16,364 Mike: Tom has his banking task force today. 70 00:03:16,447 --> 00:03:19,617 - His what? - It's a veritable who's who of wall street. 71 00:03:19,825 --> 00:03:21,660 Well, that sounds a lot sexier than my thing. 72 00:03:21,952 --> 00:03:23,704 Tell Tom that I get dibs on that. 73 00:03:23,954 --> 00:03:26,665 It's my presidential banking task force now. 74 00:03:26,832 --> 00:03:28,667 Well, Tom is not gonna be happy about that. 75 00:03:28,793 --> 00:03:31,295 Well, good. That's the way I like it. Open the door. 76 00:03:31,379 --> 00:03:33,130 The president will be there shaking hands 77 00:03:33,214 --> 00:03:35,508 and thanking some of the volunteers for their hard work 78 00:03:35,633 --> 00:03:37,426 at some point in the near future. 79 00:03:37,510 --> 00:03:38,677 I'll get back. 80 00:03:39,470 --> 00:03:42,640 - Oh. No breakfast for this guy. - Who's offering? 81 00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:46,477 You are looking at a guy on the master cleanse. I feel amazing. 82 00:03:46,685 --> 00:03:49,063 What in the lunatic fuck is the master cleanse? 83 00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:51,565 Sounds like Nazi domestic policy. 84 00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:53,859 Little known fact about the Nazis... 85 00:03:54,026 --> 00:03:56,570 Their polling numbers within Germany, through the roof. 86 00:03:56,654 --> 00:03:59,407 Unbelievable numbers. Though also tragic. 87 00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:01,385 The Jewish demo couldn't have been that good. 88 00:04:01,409 --> 00:04:02,743 Yep, I don't eat food anymore. 89 00:04:02,868 --> 00:04:06,914 Just water, maple syrup, lemon juice, and cayenne pepper. 90 00:04:07,373 --> 00:04:08,749 Do you still take shits? 91 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:11,544 Not exactly "take." 92 00:04:13,712 --> 00:04:15,297 Man: Welcome to Nevada. 93 00:04:15,381 --> 00:04:16,691 Everybody settle in. Make yourselves comfortable. 94 00:04:16,715 --> 00:04:20,177 Members of the meyer-James and o'brien-montez campaign. 95 00:04:20,344 --> 00:04:23,347 Let's talk ground rules. According to Nevada law, 96 00:04:23,431 --> 00:04:26,684 if the recount sample shows a difference of 1% or more, 97 00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:30,104 which in this case comes to 512 votes, 98 00:04:30,521 --> 00:04:32,121 we go ahead and recount the whole state. 99 00:04:32,356 --> 00:04:34,400 Now, most of the voting here is touch screen, 100 00:04:34,525 --> 00:04:36,735 so we can't do more than retabulate those totals. 101 00:04:36,902 --> 00:04:40,281 Except you could recount the voter-verified paper audit trails. 102 00:04:40,406 --> 00:04:42,032 Sometimes there are big discrepancies. 103 00:04:42,116 --> 00:04:44,052 - Sir, in that case we motion... - On the other hand, 104 00:04:44,076 --> 00:04:46,954 the ninth circuit court of appeals ruled in crowley v. Nevada 105 00:04:47,037 --> 00:04:49,957 that you don't have to recount the paper audit trails in local elections. 106 00:04:50,207 --> 00:04:52,127 - That's crawley versus Nevada? - That's crowley. 107 00:04:52,209 --> 00:04:53,687 Actually, you know what? I could email you. 108 00:04:53,711 --> 00:04:56,797 Or you could email me at splett2@splettnet.Net. 109 00:04:57,047 --> 00:04:59,133 Splett1 is my father. It'll be sad to see him go, 110 00:04:59,216 --> 00:05:01,361 but it'll be nice to get my hands on that handle, you know? 111 00:05:01,385 --> 00:05:03,530 Reporter: Ls meyer being a sore loser? 112 00:05:03,554 --> 00:05:06,390 - Spirits are very high. - The president won the popular vote. 113 00:05:06,599 --> 00:05:08,309 I didn't quite catch all your questions. 114 00:05:08,392 --> 00:05:10,537 - We had a pretty big setback in there. - We have to go. 115 00:05:10,561 --> 00:05:13,123 We're very late for another appointment. Thank you very much, everybody. 116 00:05:13,147 --> 00:05:15,208 What is wrong with you, you Paddington bear-looking fuck? 117 00:05:15,232 --> 00:05:18,152 You just gave them a time life instruction manual on how to fuck us. 118 00:05:18,277 --> 00:05:21,238 You guys have Michael Jordan sitting on the bench here, 119 00:05:21,322 --> 00:05:23,157 but you're starting hakeem olajutwat. 120 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:24,909 You are not Michael Jordan. 121 00:05:25,075 --> 00:05:27,161 You are a seven-foot-seven goony-looking Lithuanian 122 00:05:27,244 --> 00:05:30,080 who's gonna drop dead of marfan syndrome. Get your ass in the car. 123 00:05:30,581 --> 00:05:33,167 Selina: The eagle's landed. Bradley: Yes, he has. 124 00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:34,543 - Madam president. - Yes? 125 00:05:34,627 --> 00:05:36,629 This is truly an honor to serve you. 126 00:05:36,754 --> 00:05:37,963 Well, thank you very much. 127 00:05:38,088 --> 00:05:42,092 Plus, I would never miss the opportunity to dry fuck Jim Whitman up the ass. 128 00:05:43,886 --> 00:05:45,262 Catherine, out. 129 00:05:45,429 --> 00:05:48,057 Oh, Bob, I need to introduce you to Amy brookheimer 130 00:05:48,140 --> 00:05:49,600 and her team in Nevada right here. 131 00:05:49,767 --> 00:05:51,852 Nice to meet you, Mr. Bradley. 132 00:05:51,936 --> 00:05:54,056 How many lawyers you got on the ground in Carson city? 133 00:05:54,230 --> 00:05:57,209 - I believe it's roughly... - I want you to double it by the end of the day. 134 00:05:57,233 --> 00:05:59,443 Now, let's talk about the actual recount. 135 00:05:59,568 --> 00:06:01,630 Well, lnoticed something funny about the mail-in ballots. 136 00:06:01,654 --> 00:06:04,073 All right, let's hear it, affirmative action Jackson. 137 00:06:04,406 --> 00:06:07,660 Well, the county clerk of nye county disqualified a huge number of mail-in ballots 138 00:06:07,785 --> 00:06:09,763 because the signatures didn't match the voter rolls, 139 00:06:09,787 --> 00:06:12,331 so I checked and he's an o'brien fundraiser. 140 00:06:12,623 --> 00:06:14,792 He probably chucked out a ton of meyer votes. 141 00:06:14,959 --> 00:06:17,169 Why aren't you moving on this, blondie? 142 00:06:17,419 --> 00:06:20,756 Right, Amy. Come on, get it together. My god in heaven. 143 00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:23,008 We will get right on it, ma 'am, sir. 144 00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:25,594 Selina: Bob, what do you think? Are we gonna win this thing? 145 00:06:25,678 --> 00:06:27,972 I mean, really honestly, your true gut. 146 00:06:28,305 --> 00:06:31,475 Well, madam president, I've got big balls, but neither one of them are crystal. 147 00:06:31,809 --> 00:06:32,893 Oh, darn it. 148 00:06:32,977 --> 00:06:35,396 This reminds me of something that dick Nixon used to say 149 00:06:35,479 --> 00:06:37,856 to Henry kissinger back when that tricky son of a bitch 150 00:06:37,982 --> 00:06:40,985 was trying to get us out of that messy business called Vietnam. 151 00:06:41,193 --> 00:06:44,280 - Vietnam, right. - He would say, "Henry, you son of a bitch. 152 00:06:44,488 --> 00:06:46,949 "I can lead a horse to water, but I can't milk it." 153 00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:51,537 Can't milk it! I don't even know what that means. 154 00:06:51,662 --> 00:06:54,164 - I love it. - I've got to make a million phone calls. 155 00:06:54,290 --> 00:06:55,970 - So you'll have to excuse me. - All right. 156 00:06:56,041 --> 00:06:59,169 - Good-bye, everyone. - Fantastic. Good-bye. We got our guy. 157 00:06:59,336 --> 00:07:00,921 - Hey, Bob. - Yeah? 158 00:07:01,005 --> 00:07:04,091 You don't remember me. I was an intern way back when you were... 159 00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:05,426 Of course I remember you. 160 00:07:05,509 --> 00:07:08,721 Looky here. Ben cafferty all grown up. 161 00:07:09,346 --> 00:07:11,515 We used to have a million nicknames for this guy. 162 00:07:11,682 --> 00:07:15,978 We called him fatty dicksuckle and b-b-bennie and the jizz. 163 00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:17,521 Buttfucker. 164 00:07:17,688 --> 00:07:19,023 - Buttfucker, that's me. - Yeah. 165 00:07:19,148 --> 00:07:21,442 I can't believe you remembered my nickname. 166 00:07:21,525 --> 00:07:22,901 Good to see you. Nice to see you. 167 00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:26,530 Oh, good old sue. You're still here. 168 00:07:27,031 --> 00:07:30,200 - My, oh, my. - Still here? 169 00:07:30,659 --> 00:07:33,495 He hasn't worked in the white house since the late '80s. 170 00:07:33,579 --> 00:07:35,748 How old is sue? Huh? 171 00:07:37,041 --> 00:07:38,761 Amy: Well, that's clearly a vote for meyer. 172 00:07:38,876 --> 00:07:40,395 It says her name right there. It's a write-in. 173 00:07:40,419 --> 00:07:41,962 It says "fuck selina meyer." 174 00:07:42,046 --> 00:07:43,964 If anything, that one should count for us. 175 00:07:44,048 --> 00:07:45,257 Move to call this a no vote. 176 00:07:45,424 --> 00:07:47,593 No, no, no. See, right there. 177 00:07:47,718 --> 00:07:49,470 See that? Yeah, that's a comma. 178 00:07:49,553 --> 00:07:51,430 - Where? - After fuck, that is a comma. 179 00:07:51,555 --> 00:07:53,033 So it doesn't say "fuck selina meyer." 180 00:07:53,057 --> 00:07:55,267 It says, you know, "fuck, selina meyer!" 181 00:07:55,392 --> 00:07:57,978 That's a testament to this voter's earthy 182 00:07:58,062 --> 00:08:00,898 but unambiguous enthusiasm for president meyer. 183 00:08:01,023 --> 00:08:02,066 Absolutely. 184 00:08:05,110 --> 00:08:08,072 - Vote for meyer. - Yes! Yeah. 185 00:08:10,074 --> 00:08:13,285 - Madam president. - Yes, Mr. Economy czar. 186 00:08:13,410 --> 00:08:16,080 Welcome to your banking task force. 187 00:08:16,288 --> 00:08:18,332 - Great idea of yours. - Yeah, it is, isn't it? 188 00:08:18,415 --> 00:08:20,727 I'm looking forward to hearing what my next great idea is gonna be. 189 00:08:20,751 --> 00:08:22,169 I'm glad that you're able to turn 190 00:08:22,252 --> 00:08:25,047 my actual policy meeting into a meaningless photo op. 191 00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:27,800 I'm sure the dow is rocketing skywards as we speak. 192 00:08:28,092 --> 00:08:31,053 Don't you have a volunteers brunch or something to get to? 193 00:08:31,387 --> 00:08:33,681 - I think you do. - Hmm, yeah. 194 00:08:33,764 --> 00:08:36,433 And I have to tell you, it is a pleasure to watch those people eat. 195 00:08:36,892 --> 00:08:39,144 - Madam president. - Yeah, take it easy. 196 00:08:40,896 --> 00:08:42,773 - Wow. I know. - Wow. 197 00:08:45,275 --> 00:08:46,568 Boss boots, boss. 198 00:08:46,652 --> 00:08:49,363 Oh, thanks. Yeah, check those out. Genuine crocodile skin. 199 00:08:49,446 --> 00:08:51,699 Yeah, I'm gonna be pulling down Clint Eastwood 200 00:08:51,782 --> 00:08:53,659 cowboy movie-style pussy in these things. 201 00:08:53,784 --> 00:08:55,369 Except I'm not the man with no name. 202 00:08:55,452 --> 00:08:56,787 I'm the man with mo' game. 203 00:08:59,248 --> 00:09:02,543 Afternoon, sir. We're here because your ballot 204 00:09:02,626 --> 00:09:04,604 was disqualified because your signature didn't match... 205 00:09:04,628 --> 00:09:06,547 Okay, well, fooled me with that one. 206 00:09:06,630 --> 00:09:08,799 - Good job, team. - Yeah, nice job, Richard. 207 00:09:08,924 --> 00:09:10,777 That's not how I would've done it if I was in charge. 208 00:09:10,801 --> 00:09:12,041 Oh, how would you have done it? 209 00:09:12,386 --> 00:09:14,138 I can't teach how I do it. 210 00:09:14,471 --> 00:09:18,225 Can Paul McCartney teach kid rock how to be a good songwriter? 211 00:09:18,308 --> 00:09:20,348 I mean, that's a bad example. Kid rock rules, but... 212 00:09:23,272 --> 00:09:25,983 Hey, ma'am, this is Charlie baird, ceo of em wheelright. 213 00:09:26,150 --> 00:09:27,794 - Hello, madam president. - You're Charlie baird. 214 00:09:27,818 --> 00:09:29,254 - I am. Good to see you. - Yes, good to see you, too. 215 00:09:29,278 --> 00:09:30,878 - Thanks for coming today. - My pleasure. 216 00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:32,215 I thought this was going to be two hours 217 00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:34,450 of Tom James lecturing us about being paid too much. 218 00:09:35,826 --> 00:09:37,828 Well, Tom can be, dare I say... 219 00:09:38,328 --> 00:09:39,621 A bit of an asshat? 220 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,499 Actually, I was gonna say a champion for the middle class, 221 00:09:42,666 --> 00:09:45,669 but I kind of like your thing better to tell you the truth. 222 00:09:45,836 --> 00:09:47,588 Ma'am, this is Phillip Ryan. He's the... 223 00:09:47,671 --> 00:09:49,551 - Can you hang on just two seconds? - Of course. 224 00:09:49,590 --> 00:09:52,801 So let me ask you this. What in the heck is going on with the markets? 225 00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:54,511 - I don't know. - Oh, great. 226 00:09:54,595 --> 00:09:59,016 I do know that yesterday morning this room felt about $25 billion smarter. 227 00:09:59,183 --> 00:10:02,978 Yeah, I think that's what all of you donated to my opponent, right? 228 00:10:03,145 --> 00:10:05,305 Full disclosure, I did donate to your campaign as well. 229 00:10:05,522 --> 00:10:06,690 Two grand? 230 00:10:07,357 --> 00:10:09,526 Where'd you find that? In your sofa seat cushion? 231 00:10:09,693 --> 00:10:11,862 I think it was in my other pants, madam president. 232 00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,965 - Good. Nice to have you here. - Hey, ma'am. 233 00:10:13,989 --> 00:10:16,283 - This is Eli park. He's the ceo of cm capital. - Yes. 234 00:10:16,366 --> 00:10:19,203 - Oh, hello, Eli. - Madam president. 235 00:10:19,369 --> 00:10:22,039 - Yes, how is Susan? - He's divorced. 236 00:10:22,372 --> 00:10:25,292 Not in jail for what she did to you. 237 00:10:25,375 --> 00:10:28,128 Honestly, it is an outrage. But I'm happy you're here. 238 00:10:28,212 --> 00:10:30,273 And I think we've got to get this meeting going, don't we? 239 00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:31,799 It's got to get... yeah, yeah, yeah. 240 00:10:31,882 --> 00:10:33,634 - Thank you. - Thank you, madam president. 241 00:10:33,717 --> 00:10:37,137 Oh, thank you very much. Oh, Jesus Christ. 242 00:10:37,471 --> 00:10:38,698 Don't worry about Eli. 243 00:10:38,722 --> 00:10:41,058 Brooks brothers sews prenups into all our suits. 244 00:10:41,225 --> 00:10:43,393 - Are you divorced? - Oh, yeah, proudly. 245 00:10:43,519 --> 00:10:45,279 Yeah, best thing me and my husband ever did. 246 00:10:45,729 --> 00:10:47,731 Including our daughter. 247 00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:52,986 Hey, listen, I heard you on bloomberg talking about my financial acumen, 248 00:10:53,070 --> 00:10:56,573 and I have to say you were wildly out of line. 249 00:10:56,907 --> 00:10:59,243 - Well, most of that is just for show. - Uh-huh? 250 00:10:59,409 --> 00:11:01,495 But, with all due respect, madam president, 251 00:11:01,578 --> 00:11:03,330 some of your economic policies 252 00:11:03,413 --> 00:11:06,917 are what my friend Katie gross likes to call "fakakta." 253 00:11:07,251 --> 00:11:08,752 Katie gross? You know Katie gross? 254 00:11:08,877 --> 00:11:10,212 I went to Smith with Katie gross. 255 00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:12,047 - I dated Katie gross. - Yeah, so did I. 256 00:11:12,589 --> 00:11:14,675 'Cause I was at Smith. No, it's a Smith joke. 257 00:11:14,758 --> 00:11:16,736 - That's incredible. - This is Elizabeth moorehouse. 258 00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:18,846 - Oh, hi, how are you? - I'm well, thank you. 259 00:11:18,929 --> 00:11:21,598 - Thank you for coming today. - My pleasure, madam president. 260 00:11:21,765 --> 00:11:23,525 I hope you can talk some sense into the fed. 261 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:24,935 Excuse me, sorry to interrupt. 262 00:11:25,060 --> 00:11:28,772 Madam president, Katie says to tell you "Hubbard forever." 263 00:11:29,273 --> 00:11:30,524 - She didn't. - She did. 264 00:11:30,607 --> 00:11:31,859 She didn't! That's... 265 00:11:31,942 --> 00:11:34,528 That was our dorm and it was repulsive. 266 00:11:34,695 --> 00:11:36,780 - You know Katie gross? - It sounds familiar. 267 00:11:36,905 --> 00:11:38,448 I bet your paths have crossed. 268 00:11:38,615 --> 00:11:41,910 The second signature was when Carl had his stroke. 269 00:11:42,077 --> 00:11:44,913 Oh, that's fantastic. I mean, well, fantastic for us 270 00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:47,791 because it means that his vote for president meyer is legitimate. 271 00:11:47,958 --> 00:11:50,961 - Could he testify to that? - I'm sorry, he's passed. 272 00:11:51,086 --> 00:11:53,380 Sorry. You should read cs. Lewis' book on grief. 273 00:11:53,463 --> 00:11:55,608 It's not as fun as the lion, witch, and the wardrobe series, 274 00:11:55,632 --> 00:11:57,467 - but it's still pretty good. - Ma'am, hi. 275 00:11:57,759 --> 00:12:00,596 Jonah Ryan, senior deputy recount strategist for the meyer campaign. 276 00:12:00,804 --> 00:12:03,557 Would it be all right if we waited for your husband inside? 277 00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:05,726 - I think I have a small blister. - I'm sorry. 278 00:12:05,976 --> 00:12:08,395 Alav hashalom. Hebrew. 279 00:12:08,896 --> 00:12:12,232 Maybe you should put on your regular shoes for a little bit? 280 00:12:12,316 --> 00:12:15,319 You know what? I am sick of your micromanaging bullshit. 281 00:12:15,819 --> 00:12:18,906 But if you insist, yes, I will stop by the hotel. 282 00:12:18,989 --> 00:12:21,825 We can do that. It's a two-minute walk. 283 00:12:21,992 --> 00:12:24,077 Sorry, two miles. So... 284 00:12:24,161 --> 00:12:25,162 God. 285 00:12:26,997 --> 00:12:29,791 Roger: Well, well, well, if it isn't TV's Ellen degeneres 286 00:12:30,125 --> 00:12:32,169 and of course Amy brookheimer. 287 00:12:32,461 --> 00:12:36,340 Congressman furlong, to what do we owe this pleasure slash skin-crawling sensation? 288 00:12:36,548 --> 00:12:39,801 Well, I just came out west to play a little cowboys and injuns 289 00:12:39,885 --> 00:12:41,553 with big chief suckum choad here. 290 00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:42,846 Say it. 291 00:12:43,055 --> 00:12:44,139 Uh... 292 00:12:44,222 --> 00:12:45,265 How. 293 00:12:45,349 --> 00:12:47,935 Me suck pee pee in tepee. 294 00:12:49,353 --> 00:12:50,395 Atta girl. 295 00:12:50,938 --> 00:12:52,707 Actually, Bob Bradley asked me to come out here 296 00:12:52,731 --> 00:12:55,901 and dazzle some of these armadillo fuckers with my political star power. 297 00:12:56,401 --> 00:12:58,612 Step aside, roadkill. Big rig coming through. 298 00:12:59,154 --> 00:13:00,238 Hi, Amy, Dan. 299 00:13:00,322 --> 00:13:01,633 - Amy: Hi, again. - How you doing? 300 00:13:01,657 --> 00:13:03,200 That is not an overvote. 301 00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:05,661 The voter crossed out o'brien's name and voted for meyer. 302 00:13:05,744 --> 00:13:07,245 That is a vote for meyer. 303 00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:09,164 Move to rule it an overvote. 304 00:13:09,498 --> 00:13:11,458 Hey, grimace. What are you... 305 00:13:11,667 --> 00:13:13,418 No, no, no, not you. 306 00:13:13,502 --> 00:13:16,296 The other person in the room who looks exactly like grimace. 307 00:13:16,463 --> 00:13:18,632 That is not an overvote. You need to trust me on this 308 00:13:18,715 --> 00:13:20,485 because I've been doing this since before your mother 309 00:13:20,509 --> 00:13:22,511 was throwing herself down the stairs belly first. 310 00:13:22,719 --> 00:13:24,155 You want me to get you some glasses? 311 00:13:24,179 --> 00:13:25,764 Maybe I'll call in mayor mccheese? 312 00:13:25,847 --> 00:13:28,308 He can come in here and explain election procedures to you. 313 00:13:29,768 --> 00:13:31,269 Oh. I'm not... 314 00:13:31,353 --> 00:13:33,188 - Tracy. - Look, you're wearing purple. 315 00:13:33,438 --> 00:13:36,191 All right? It's got nothing to do with your body shape or your... 316 00:13:36,274 --> 00:13:39,277 The way your head goes into your shoulders so smoothly. 317 00:13:39,361 --> 00:13:41,780 Hey, you know, we have to get to your next meeting at the... 318 00:13:41,863 --> 00:13:43,740 That's right. Good call. God bless you. 319 00:13:43,824 --> 00:13:45,075 God bless america. 320 00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:50,497 When you're ready, we would like to vigorously contest your ruling. 321 00:13:50,872 --> 00:13:53,667 Uh, ma'am, I have photos to approve from the banking task force. 322 00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:56,378 And you have a meeting with olympic medalists in five. 323 00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:59,440 - Special or normal? - Well, they seemed normal, but I'll confirm. 324 00:13:59,464 --> 00:14:00,549 Okay. 325 00:14:00,632 --> 00:14:03,719 So, uh, you catch the godfather on TV last night? 326 00:14:05,470 --> 00:14:10,851 There was nothing like seeing it in the theater when it first came out back in '72. 327 00:14:11,727 --> 00:14:13,145 I don't care for movies. 328 00:14:16,106 --> 00:14:19,985 You've truly brought honor to america with your kayaking. 329 00:14:20,068 --> 00:14:22,946 So congratulations on your gold medal. 330 00:14:23,030 --> 00:14:26,033 - It's bronze. - Bronze medal. 331 00:14:26,116 --> 00:14:28,035 Did we get it? And thank you for this. 332 00:14:28,118 --> 00:14:30,495 I can't wait to try it out on the potomac. 333 00:14:30,579 --> 00:14:31,764 - All right, guys. Right this way. - Okay. 334 00:14:31,788 --> 00:14:33,582 Great. Great. Great. Great. Okay. 335 00:14:34,416 --> 00:14:36,811 - Fuck am I supposed to do with this? - It'd be nice for your library. 336 00:14:36,835 --> 00:14:37,878 What? 337 00:14:38,128 --> 00:14:39,629 Catherine, out. 338 00:14:40,464 --> 00:14:43,175 So what's the press saying about our banking task force? 339 00:14:43,258 --> 00:14:45,385 They opened wide and slurped it down, ma'am. 340 00:14:45,594 --> 00:14:47,637 You know what I was thinking? 341 00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:50,849 I was thinking that I would like to do another banking task force. 342 00:14:50,932 --> 00:14:53,693 - I bet we could get pallenberg at barclays. - I see no problem there. 343 00:14:53,852 --> 00:14:56,332 No, you know who had a lot to say was that guy from wheelright. 344 00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:59,274 Charlie baird. 345 00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:00,901 Really? 346 00:15:01,443 --> 00:15:04,279 Ma'am, um, I don't think right now 347 00:15:04,362 --> 00:15:07,240 would be the best time for another banking task force. 348 00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:10,118 No, I just want to have a quick banking task force. 349 00:15:10,494 --> 00:15:13,789 Uh, with all due respect, ma'am, you know, the banks will still be, 350 00:15:13,872 --> 00:15:16,458 you know, raring to go for a task force, 351 00:15:16,958 --> 00:15:19,795 you know, when you're safely re-elected. 352 00:15:19,878 --> 00:15:22,589 I'm human, okay? I just... 353 00:15:22,672 --> 00:15:27,260 I just sometimes need a little banking task force. 354 00:15:27,511 --> 00:15:31,181 Well, ma'am, if you want, I can arrange a more discreet banking task force. 355 00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:33,183 I don't want that kind of banking task force. 356 00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:34,946 I want the banking task force that I want. 357 00:15:34,976 --> 00:15:37,354 What about Patty Driscoll from deutsche bank? 358 00:15:37,479 --> 00:15:39,373 She's very good. Might be nice to throw a woman in the mix. 359 00:15:39,397 --> 00:15:41,525 Ma'am, uh, Amy's on video conference. 360 00:15:42,734 --> 00:15:44,111 Amy, what is it? 361 00:15:44,653 --> 00:15:46,947 - Can you see me? I can't see you. - Yeah. 362 00:15:47,030 --> 00:15:49,241 - Am I on your screen? - Who cares if you can't see me? 363 00:15:49,324 --> 00:15:51,844 We're not looking at each other's hairdos. What's going on in Nevada? 364 00:15:51,868 --> 00:15:53,638 Kent, are you sitting on a bottle? 365 00:15:53,662 --> 00:15:55,747 - Ma'am, where are you? - Amy? 366 00:15:55,831 --> 00:15:58,166 There you are. Precinct totals have been reported. 367 00:15:58,250 --> 00:16:00,085 We got... votes. 368 00:16:00,502 --> 00:16:02,504 Wait, you just went out. What did you just say? 369 00:16:02,796 --> 00:16:04,339 We got... votes. 370 00:16:04,506 --> 00:16:06,675 - How many votes did we get? - Let me try a landline. 371 00:16:07,175 --> 00:16:09,177 - I'm losing my mind. - We got it. We got it. 372 00:16:09,261 --> 00:16:12,806 512 votes. Full state recount is a go. 373 00:16:14,182 --> 00:16:15,684 Fucking recount! 374 00:16:15,767 --> 00:16:18,562 - Oh, my god! - This is favorable news. 375 00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:22,065 Oh, my god, this is my house. This is my house. 376 00:16:22,190 --> 00:16:26,027 Hey, guys, listen up. Okay, precinct totals have been reported and... 377 00:16:26,194 --> 00:16:28,780 Just hang up on her. Wait, where is Catherine? 378 00:16:28,864 --> 00:16:30,550 She should be getting this for her little movie. 379 00:16:30,574 --> 00:16:33,618 I'm feeling light-headed. That bottle's my only source of blood sugar. 380 00:16:33,702 --> 00:16:36,079 Okay, Gary, iwanna get Charlie baird in for another meeting. 381 00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:39,082 - You want me to invite some other people? - No, no, no, just him. 382 00:16:39,166 --> 00:16:40,375 - Just him? - Yep. 383 00:16:40,458 --> 00:16:41,918 Here's your stupid bottle. 384 00:16:42,127 --> 00:16:44,337 Stop with the kabuki show and eat a fucking cookie. 385 00:16:45,046 --> 00:16:48,550 Mike, remind me again the science behind this. 386 00:16:53,722 --> 00:16:55,223 Now I feel great. 387 00:16:56,224 --> 00:16:58,059 You guys have got to try this. 388 00:16:58,768 --> 00:17:00,729 We need surrogates for the Sunday talk shows. 389 00:17:01,021 --> 00:17:02,731 - Right. - Chung will do it. 390 00:17:02,814 --> 00:17:05,734 Hmm. Chung would volunteer for a beheading video to get national airtime. 391 00:17:05,817 --> 00:17:07,319 I'd actually like to see that. 392 00:17:07,402 --> 00:17:09,738 Ma'am, Tom James is here sans appointment. 393 00:17:10,113 --> 00:17:11,364 Ugh. 394 00:17:11,448 --> 00:17:13,867 Can you go tell him to fuck a bag of glass or something? 395 00:17:13,950 --> 00:17:16,721 Actually, I told him something similar to that, but he's most insistent. 396 00:17:16,745 --> 00:17:18,538 Oh, okay. Send him in. 397 00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:21,708 Hi, there. This is an unexpected pleasure. 398 00:17:21,791 --> 00:17:25,086 No, no, no, guys. I want you to hear this. 399 00:17:25,337 --> 00:17:28,590 Ma'am, on reflection, I totally understand 400 00:17:28,798 --> 00:17:31,079 why you needed to take the lead on the banking task force. 401 00:17:31,134 --> 00:17:34,888 And I am ready to do whatever I need to do to help the team. 402 00:17:35,096 --> 00:17:39,559 So, economy czar, kids' birthday parties, reflecting pool boy. 403 00:17:39,851 --> 00:17:42,312 Just don't ask me to be the United Nations ambassador 404 00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:43,897 'cause I still have some pride. 405 00:17:46,441 --> 00:17:48,735 I wanted to say that and I'll leave you guys alone. 406 00:17:48,818 --> 00:17:51,821 - Thank you so much. - Oh, great. Thanks. Good to see you. 407 00:17:51,905 --> 00:17:54,950 Oh, by the way, I just polished the floor in the eisenhower room. 408 00:17:55,116 --> 00:17:57,160 - Tom, stop. - Be careful in there, all right? 409 00:17:57,494 --> 00:17:59,704 - Ha? - That was something. 410 00:17:59,788 --> 00:18:03,166 Why did Tom James just wrap up his balls in butcher paper and put them in my purse? 411 00:18:03,250 --> 00:18:05,418 Because he thinks you're gonna win Nevada. 412 00:18:06,461 --> 00:18:08,213 - Tom thinks I'm gonna win Nevada? - Yeah. 413 00:18:08,296 --> 00:18:10,548 - "Nev-add-a." - he's the smartest guy in DC. 414 00:18:10,632 --> 00:18:12,801 You know that? He's a lot smarter than you dummies. 415 00:18:12,884 --> 00:18:15,470 Seriously, if Tom thinks I'm gonna win Nevada, 416 00:18:15,553 --> 00:18:17,222 I'm gonna win. 417 00:18:17,305 --> 00:18:18,974 Ma'am, Charlie baird is here. 418 00:18:21,351 --> 00:18:23,311 Hey, I'm gonna be president, 419 00:18:23,395 --> 00:18:26,064 so I can go take a shit in the Rose garden if I want to. 420 00:18:26,147 --> 00:18:27,732 We used to call that a Jimmy Carter. 421 00:18:29,359 --> 00:18:30,986 Charlie baird. Move. 422 00:18:31,069 --> 00:18:33,154 Charlie: Madam president. What a lovely surprise. 423 00:18:33,238 --> 00:18:34,823 Thank you. 424 00:18:34,906 --> 00:18:37,146 I thought my $2,000 donation only entitled me to a photo. 425 00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:39,744 - How are you? - I am good. I am energized. 426 00:18:39,869 --> 00:18:43,415 So, you know, you made an interesting point earlier today about the bond market... 427 00:18:43,498 --> 00:18:45,583 But you know what? Before we do that, 428 00:18:45,667 --> 00:18:48,753 would you like to go on a tour of the west wing? Would that be fun? 429 00:18:48,837 --> 00:18:51,315 - I don't know if you have time for that, ma'am. - Yeah, I have time. 430 00:18:51,339 --> 00:18:52,841 - Okay. - Yeah? Okay. 431 00:18:52,924 --> 00:18:56,362 I warn you, I had a pretty comprehensive white house tour on my fifth grade class trip. 432 00:18:56,386 --> 00:19:00,307 I actually know a lot about west wing history if you'd like... no. 433 00:19:00,390 --> 00:19:02,076 I feel like that guy doesn't like me very much. 434 00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:03,601 - Who, Gary? - Yeah. 435 00:19:03,685 --> 00:19:05,746 Come on, that's like saying that the cat doesn't like you 436 00:19:05,770 --> 00:19:07,147 or that table doesn't like you. 437 00:19:07,230 --> 00:19:09,691 Okay, now, there's this Rockwell down here 438 00:19:09,774 --> 00:19:13,111 that is so stunning and I swear to god if I lose this fucking election, 439 00:19:13,194 --> 00:19:15,548 I'm gonna stick it in my suitcase and I'm taking it with me. 440 00:19:15,572 --> 00:19:16,698 - Love Rockwell. - Yeah. 441 00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:19,200 - I have a bunch of rockwells. - You do? 442 00:19:19,284 --> 00:19:20,535 - Yeah. - You're kidding. 443 00:19:20,618 --> 00:19:22,120 - No. - Where are they? 444 00:19:22,412 --> 00:19:24,873 Some, uh, beach house. 445 00:19:25,248 --> 00:19:27,375 - Not sure which beach. - You are wild. 446 00:19:28,084 --> 00:19:29,794 In another person it would be bragging, 447 00:19:29,878 --> 00:19:31,230 but with you it's something different. 448 00:19:31,254 --> 00:19:32,934 Oh, wait a minute. I got to show you this. 449 00:19:33,423 --> 00:19:35,800 Okay, see this closet? 450 00:19:35,884 --> 00:19:37,236 I don't know if you've heard about this, 451 00:19:37,260 --> 00:19:40,472 but this is the actual closet where Warren Harding 452 00:19:40,722 --> 00:19:43,058 fathered a child with his teenage mistress. 453 00:19:43,391 --> 00:19:46,269 They left that off our fifth grade tour. 454 00:19:48,063 --> 00:19:49,343 Did they show you the residence? 455 00:19:50,899 --> 00:19:52,150 Nope. 456 00:19:52,734 --> 00:19:54,986 Uh, you want to see the residence? 457 00:19:55,403 --> 00:19:56,446 Uh, yeah. 458 00:19:57,072 --> 00:19:58,156 Okay. 459 00:20:00,241 --> 00:20:03,036 - Fuck, today. - Now, was that a vote in favor of today? 460 00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:05,914 Oh, that was a fuck, comma, today, yes! 461 00:20:05,997 --> 00:20:07,415 Mmm-hmm. 462 00:20:09,292 --> 00:20:11,628 Oh, I didn't... yeah, this is me. 463 00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:12,796 This is me. 464 00:20:14,756 --> 00:20:16,067 - Okay, good night. - Good night, yeah. 465 00:20:16,091 --> 00:20:17,509 God damn it. Come on. 466 00:20:17,634 --> 00:20:18,843 Jesus Christ. 467 00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:21,971 I've had to get this key card changed twice. 468 00:20:22,263 --> 00:20:24,099 - Because it's like... - Okay, allow me. 469 00:20:30,105 --> 00:20:32,357 - Oh. - Hi, Amy. 470 00:20:32,607 --> 00:20:34,818 You didn't tell me faggy hair was here. 471 00:20:35,110 --> 00:20:36,945 Sophie, haven't seen you in years. 472 00:20:37,237 --> 00:20:38,905 How are your illegitimate children? 473 00:20:39,656 --> 00:20:42,075 I asked my sister to send me a change of clothes 474 00:20:42,158 --> 00:20:44,661 and apparently she has decided to bring them herself. 475 00:20:45,203 --> 00:20:46,472 - Uh-huh. - Your hotel room sucks. 476 00:20:46,496 --> 00:20:49,290 I thought that Carson city was, like, part of Las Vegas. 477 00:20:49,624 --> 00:20:51,584 Vegas is 432 miles away. 478 00:20:51,793 --> 00:20:53,628 Sorry I'm not a "where everything is" nerd. 479 00:20:53,962 --> 00:20:55,463 Were you two just about to bone? 480 00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:59,801 Okay, well, uh, you enjoy all that. 481 00:21:00,009 --> 00:21:01,970 - I'm gonna... - Sophie: Oh, no, no, no. 482 00:21:02,095 --> 00:21:04,639 What happens in Vegas, it stays in Vegas. 483 00:21:04,722 --> 00:21:06,933 Amy: We're not in Vegas. 484 00:21:07,851 --> 00:21:10,011 You know, I hardly ever did that with president Hughes. 485 00:21:10,145 --> 00:21:12,456 And even when we did, I was just kind of going through the motions. 486 00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:14,360 Oh, thank you very much. That's very flattering. 487 00:21:15,859 --> 00:21:18,236 - Maybe we can do this... - We got to get you out of here. 488 00:21:18,319 --> 00:21:19,904 - Right. - I'm gonna call Gary 489 00:21:19,988 --> 00:21:21,757 and get him to take you to the southeast gate. 490 00:21:21,781 --> 00:21:24,117 Can you send Gary up here, please? Yeah, thank you. 491 00:21:24,409 --> 00:21:27,454 - But I really did have a great time. - No, no, no, I did, too. 492 00:21:27,537 --> 00:21:29,831 I mean, I'm just saying I'm not that kind of a president. 493 00:21:29,998 --> 00:21:32,000 - Got it. - Yeah. Do you know where my shoes are? 494 00:21:32,250 --> 00:21:35,170 - I think... we started in there. - Yes, they're here. 495 00:21:35,420 --> 00:21:37,213 Yeah. 496 00:21:37,464 --> 00:21:38,864 Selina: Come in! 497 00:21:39,299 --> 00:21:40,341 Okay, let's go. 498 00:21:40,550 --> 00:21:42,844 You must be Gary. We haven't officially met. 499 00:21:43,011 --> 00:21:44,179 I'm Charlie baird. 500 00:21:46,014 --> 00:21:47,223 Uh, nice to meet you. 501 00:21:47,307 --> 00:21:48,641 Where you from? 502 00:21:49,559 --> 00:21:52,812 - Birmingham, Alabama. - Underrated city. 503 00:21:53,313 --> 00:21:55,106 You're telling me. 504 00:21:55,190 --> 00:21:56,858 You're telling me. 505 00:21:57,066 --> 00:21:58,902 They call it the Pittsburgh of the south. 506 00:21:59,194 --> 00:22:00,778 You come from a big family, do you? 507 00:22:00,862 --> 00:22:03,907 I do come from a big family. I do, I do, I do. 508 00:22:04,157 --> 00:22:06,326 It's actuallyjust me. I'm an only child. 509 00:22:06,534 --> 00:22:07,952 - Oh, Gary. - Mmm-hmm. 510 00:22:08,036 --> 00:22:10,276 Um, can you take Mr. Baird to the southeast gate, please? 511 00:22:10,747 --> 00:22:12,290 Oh, uh. So soon? 512 00:22:13,750 --> 00:22:15,190 Selina: But what I want to know, Bob, 513 00:22:15,293 --> 00:22:18,505 is do we put a full recount team in all the rural precincts 514 00:22:18,588 --> 00:22:20,632 or do we just focus on Reno and Vegas? 515 00:22:20,965 --> 00:22:25,053 Well, what you have here is a classic "two fires, one glove" situation. 516 00:22:25,220 --> 00:22:27,555 And you need to know which hand to put the glove on. 517 00:22:27,722 --> 00:22:29,042 - That's exactly right. - Exactly. 518 00:22:29,307 --> 00:22:32,519 You know, as much as it pains me to leave your company, madam president, 519 00:22:32,602 --> 00:22:34,479 I got to catch a flight to Nebraska. 520 00:22:34,729 --> 00:22:37,649 No, wait a minute. You mean Nevada. Nevada. 521 00:22:37,732 --> 00:22:39,275 - What did I say? - You said Nebraska. 522 00:22:39,359 --> 00:22:41,736 - Oh, well, I'll get that one for you, too. - Okay. 523 00:22:41,819 --> 00:22:43,321 Listen, safe travels, my friend. 524 00:22:43,404 --> 00:22:44,906 Thank you. Gentlemen. 525 00:22:45,740 --> 00:22:47,659 - Buttfucker. - Bye, Bob. 526 00:22:48,284 --> 00:22:50,745 Honestly, they don't make them like that anymore. 527 00:22:50,954 --> 00:22:53,581 - He's from a different age. - When giants walked these halls. 528 00:22:53,831 --> 00:22:54,999 - Ma'am. - Yes, indeed. Yeah? 529 00:22:55,083 --> 00:22:58,086 You have a drop-by with the Canadian trade delegation in 30. 530 00:22:58,169 --> 00:23:00,529 - Oh, I forgot about that. - And fyi, Charlie baird's on TV. 531 00:23:00,588 --> 00:23:01,673 What? 532 00:23:01,756 --> 00:23:04,193 You know, I was over in the east wing and I saw a painting of sue 533 00:23:04,217 --> 00:23:05,927 holding George Washington's horse. 534 00:23:07,053 --> 00:23:09,681 Senator bill o'brien made remarks... 535 00:23:09,764 --> 00:23:12,183 Catherine, I can't even begin. Out. 536 00:23:12,267 --> 00:23:13,851 Charlie baird is a friend of mine. 537 00:23:14,477 --> 00:23:17,981 Charlie baird is one of the great financial minds of our time 538 00:23:18,439 --> 00:23:21,109 and would be an asset to any administration. 539 00:23:21,401 --> 00:23:23,069 - You're kidding. - No. 540 00:23:23,820 --> 00:23:25,947 He fucked me and then he fucked me? 541 00:23:26,030 --> 00:23:27,230 What, is he trying to fuck me? 542 00:23:27,282 --> 00:23:29,409 I bet he's really sorry. 543 00:23:31,786 --> 00:23:33,496 Hey, ma'am, Charlie's here. 544 00:23:33,997 --> 00:23:35,915 He seems really sad. 545 00:23:36,249 --> 00:23:38,376 - I always count to 10... - Shut it. 546 00:23:41,713 --> 00:23:44,924 You went straight from here to o'brien's hotel? 547 00:23:45,091 --> 00:23:48,219 Are you kidding me? Did you take a shower at least in between? 548 00:23:48,303 --> 00:23:50,805 It was just a preliminary meeting regarding his cabinet. 549 00:23:50,972 --> 00:23:53,412 Were you thinking about his cabinet while you were fucking me? 550 00:23:53,558 --> 00:23:56,394 Seriously. Were you fantasizing I had some sort of a goatee 551 00:23:56,477 --> 00:23:57,957 and was on the wait list for a liver? 552 00:23:58,021 --> 00:24:00,565 The o'brien meeting was scheduled days before we even met. 553 00:24:00,648 --> 00:24:02,167 I didn't think it was a conflict of interests. 554 00:24:02,191 --> 00:24:03,294 You didn't think it was a conflict... 555 00:24:03,318 --> 00:24:05,486 First of all, he doesn't even have a cabinet. 556 00:24:05,570 --> 00:24:08,448 Look, if you win the election, it doesn't mean anything anyway. 557 00:24:08,531 --> 00:24:11,131 - If o'brien wins the election... - Okay, let's hear what this is. 558 00:24:11,159 --> 00:24:13,077 You've slept with the secretary of the treasury. 559 00:24:13,161 --> 00:24:15,413 That's classy. This is over. 560 00:24:15,496 --> 00:24:17,123 Over? I didn't even know it was a thing. 561 00:24:17,206 --> 00:24:19,500 Absolutely not a thing. And if it was a thing, it's over. 562 00:24:19,834 --> 00:24:21,002 Yeah. 563 00:24:26,341 --> 00:24:28,676 - How we doing? - They're ready for you. 564 00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:31,929 Then let's get 'er done! 565 00:24:32,013 --> 00:24:33,473 Oh, where's my bottle? My bottle? 566 00:24:33,848 --> 00:24:34,932 Is this it? 567 00:24:35,391 --> 00:24:37,111 Thanks. Got to keep the old blood sugar up. 568 00:24:42,023 --> 00:24:43,316 Good evening, everyone. 569 00:24:43,399 --> 00:24:45,818 Before you ask, there are no updates on Nevada. 570 00:24:45,902 --> 00:24:47,945 The president is laser-focused on the economy, 571 00:24:48,029 --> 00:24:49,364 so I'd be happy to address that. 572 00:24:49,572 --> 00:24:50,990 - Mike, Mike! - Deb. 573 00:24:51,074 --> 00:24:52,492 Can we expect a stimulus package? 574 00:24:52,575 --> 00:24:55,203 Uh, yes, right now all options are on the table. 575 00:24:59,874 --> 00:25:01,709 Including a stimulus package... 576 00:25:02,126 --> 00:25:03,795 Which is on the table. 577 00:25:03,878 --> 00:25:05,463 - Mike! - Wayne. 578 00:25:05,546 --> 00:25:08,007 Why did the president bring Charlie baird in again today 579 00:25:08,091 --> 00:25:09,360 after he met with the o'brien camp? 580 00:25:09,384 --> 00:25:11,386 Uh, Charlie baird... 581 00:25:12,762 --> 00:25:15,515 He's just... came in for a meeting. 582 00:25:15,598 --> 00:25:18,643 Just a meeting. He's an advisor. 583 00:25:18,768 --> 00:25:20,728 Actually not an advisor. 584 00:25:23,981 --> 00:25:26,359 He's a Charlie baird. 585 00:25:26,442 --> 00:25:28,462 Mike, what exactly is the nature of president meyer's 586 00:25:28,486 --> 00:25:30,113 relationship with Charlie baird? 587 00:25:30,238 --> 00:25:32,281 No more questions. I do have to go. 588 00:25:32,365 --> 00:25:34,325 Thank you. 589 00:25:34,409 --> 00:25:36,703 Looks like Charlie baird is fucking the president. 590 00:25:39,288 --> 00:25:41,207 Amy: You know, I got my sister her own room. 591 00:25:42,250 --> 00:25:46,087 So it's just little old you 592 00:25:46,170 --> 00:25:47,630 in that big old room. 593 00:25:48,923 --> 00:25:50,591 I'm gonna go back to that room. 594 00:25:52,468 --> 00:25:53,845 See you later. 595 00:25:57,682 --> 00:25:59,016 Well, hello. 596 00:26:00,059 --> 00:26:03,813 Everybody here is so boring. 597 00:26:04,272 --> 00:26:06,774 The shit you do is such bullshit. 598 00:26:07,108 --> 00:26:09,610 Remind me again what it is that you do that's so interesting. 599 00:26:09,777 --> 00:26:11,446 I work at CBS. 600 00:26:14,407 --> 00:26:15,867 Really? CBS? 601 00:26:15,950 --> 00:26:18,035 I would love to work at CBS. 602 00:26:18,119 --> 00:26:20,705 - Oh, god, don't be a dick. - No, I'm serious. 603 00:26:20,955 --> 00:26:22,165 There's always openings. 604 00:26:22,457 --> 00:26:24,351 Do you seriously think that you could get me something? 605 00:26:24,375 --> 00:26:26,919 - Maybe late night. - Late night's perfect! 606 00:26:27,628 --> 00:26:28,921 Do you want to get out of here? 607 00:26:30,548 --> 00:26:32,759 I have my own room. 608 00:26:33,593 --> 00:26:34,635 Uh, yeah. 609 00:26:34,719 --> 00:26:36,095 - Cool, let's go. - Yeah. 610 00:26:39,474 --> 00:26:41,350 - Let's go! - Yeah. 611 00:26:42,518 --> 00:26:44,812 And this is my number and it goes straight to me. 612 00:26:44,937 --> 00:26:47,231 You can call me any time of the day. I'm always here. 613 00:26:47,482 --> 00:26:49,150 - Thank you, Birmingham. - Okay. 614 00:26:49,650 --> 00:26:52,904 Mr. Baird! Can you confirm that you are dating president meyer? 615 00:26:53,154 --> 00:26:54,834 When did you and the president first meet? 616 00:26:54,989 --> 00:26:56,657 Mr. Baird, are you dating the president? 617 00:26:56,824 --> 00:26:58,409 Have a lovely night. 618 00:27:44,664 --> 00:27:47,041 Ben: 23 messages? 619 00:27:47,542 --> 00:27:48,751 A nightcap? 620 00:27:52,088 --> 00:27:53,589 I'm in DC.