1 00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:19,687 Joe: Thank you so much. 2 00:00:19,770 --> 00:00:23,399 Victory in Iowa is just the start of the job. 3 00:00:23,482 --> 00:00:25,484 - I've worked my whole life... - Oh, please. 4 00:00:25,568 --> 00:00:27,737 And now it's time to make this country work. 5 00:00:27,820 --> 00:00:30,198 Let's take our shirts off and work up a sweat. 6 00:00:30,281 --> 00:00:32,926 Listen to this idiot. They're not even sound bites, they're just sounds. 7 00:00:32,950 --> 00:00:34,595 Yeah, but it works, though. That's the thing. 8 00:00:34,619 --> 00:00:36,037 I mean, he corn-holed us in Iowa. 9 00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:38,122 Well, that's appropriate. It's the corn state. 10 00:00:38,206 --> 00:00:41,542 What are thornhill's numbers now? And please downplay them so I don't cry. 11 00:00:41,626 --> 00:00:44,545 - He's killing us. - Please downplay them, I said. 12 00:00:44,629 --> 00:00:46,214 She is downplaying them, ma'am. 13 00:00:46,297 --> 00:00:48,049 Ben: People like someone who's normal, okay? 14 00:00:48,132 --> 00:00:51,385 Gritty, you know, folks who actually eat grits. 15 00:00:51,469 --> 00:00:53,554 I'm normal. I can be so folksy. 16 00:00:53,638 --> 00:00:56,224 Doing the folksy thing with folks. 17 00:00:58,434 --> 00:00:59,434 Hello? 18 00:00:59,477 --> 00:01:00,662 We'll push it. We'll push it more. 19 00:01:00,686 --> 00:01:02,480 Well, push it. We got four days left. 20 00:01:02,563 --> 00:01:04,166 Amy: Remember when we only had five days left? 21 00:01:04,190 --> 00:01:05,459 - Those were good times. - Great times. 22 00:01:05,483 --> 00:01:07,735 - Okay, we're gonna get you out in the streets. - Okay. 23 00:01:07,818 --> 00:01:09,654 You know, shopping malls, community centers... 24 00:01:09,737 --> 00:01:11,298 - Right. Right. - Ben: Farmers' markets. 25 00:01:11,322 --> 00:01:14,200 You should go to a ball game, ma'am. Throw out the first pitch. 26 00:01:14,283 --> 00:01:15,785 It's January, Mike. 27 00:01:15,868 --> 00:01:17,828 Selina: Yeah, and I can't throw a ball, Mike. 28 00:01:18,371 --> 00:01:19,997 I'll look like Gary here. 29 00:01:20,081 --> 00:01:21,290 - Thank you. - Mmm-hmm. 30 00:01:21,499 --> 00:01:23,584 Um, what about local phone-in shows? 31 00:01:23,668 --> 00:01:25,586 Great idea. Talk some real vote meat. You know. 32 00:01:25,670 --> 00:01:27,105 Rub with a schlub. That kind of thing. 33 00:01:27,129 --> 00:01:30,091 Guys, guys, you gotta get out there on the stump. 34 00:01:30,174 --> 00:01:32,260 That's a good point. Nothing says "regular American" 35 00:01:32,343 --> 00:01:34,720 like standing on a street corner shouting at strangers. 36 00:01:34,804 --> 00:01:37,974 - Okay. - Actually, I had a similar thought. 37 00:01:38,057 --> 00:01:40,601 Ladies and gentlemen, your attention, please. 38 00:01:40,685 --> 00:01:42,645 What, are you David coppercock? 39 00:01:42,728 --> 00:01:45,690 If you like, humor man, yes. 40 00:01:45,773 --> 00:01:47,942 - Can I get a volunteer? - Me, me, me. 41 00:01:48,025 --> 00:01:49,819 Kent: You. Come forward. 42 00:01:49,944 --> 00:01:52,196 - (Laughing) - Gary, would you please open the box. 43 00:01:52,530 --> 00:01:53,531 Ooh! 44 00:01:54,865 --> 00:01:56,617 - What is it? - Take it out. 45 00:01:56,826 --> 00:01:58,286 Oh, my god! 46 00:01:58,369 --> 00:02:00,705 Wow. It's a box inside of a box. 47 00:02:01,372 --> 00:02:02,665 - Amy: Jesus! - (Gary grunts) 48 00:02:03,082 --> 00:02:05,418 Oh, it's a crate. 49 00:02:05,501 --> 00:02:06,687 - Selina: Wow! - You like that? 50 00:02:06,711 --> 00:02:08,296 I love it. Are you okay? 51 00:02:08,379 --> 00:02:09,856 - That really hurt my... - Can you move? 52 00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:11,549 - Yeah. - Kent: Yeah, get up there. 53 00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:13,551 - Take it for a test spin. - Yes. 54 00:02:13,884 --> 00:02:16,721 - Huh? See, it's folksy, it's traditional. - That's right. 55 00:02:16,804 --> 00:02:19,157 And it's reinforced with titanium so you won't fall through. 56 00:02:19,181 --> 00:02:21,981 It's fantastic. You guys, this could be the key image for the campaign. 57 00:02:22,059 --> 00:02:24,020 - Me on a crate. I love this! - Yep. 58 00:02:24,103 --> 00:02:25,455 - Ma'am, new donations. - Selina: God. 59 00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:28,816 Mark dugdale from dugdale recycling just pledged $30,000. 60 00:02:28,899 --> 00:02:30,609 Okay, so I'll make a call in to him. 61 00:02:30,693 --> 00:02:32,320 I gotta tell you something. 62 00:02:32,403 --> 00:02:34,905 I wanna get away from the politicos. 63 00:02:34,989 --> 00:02:37,825 I wanna talk to you, the regular Joes. 64 00:02:37,908 --> 00:02:39,327 - Mike: Yeah, yeah. - Right? 65 00:02:39,410 --> 00:02:42,747 We also have $2,000 from a guy named Paul Duffy from the local dry cleaner. 66 00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:45,207 Okay, for two grand, you don't get a call from me. 67 00:02:45,291 --> 00:02:47,251 Okay? Just send him a button or something. 68 00:02:47,335 --> 00:02:50,046 See, the thing is, folks, is that this is the real america 69 00:02:50,129 --> 00:02:52,340 and I want to say god bless you guys. 70 00:02:52,423 --> 00:02:54,967 Oh, god! I could watch you do this all day. 71 00:02:55,051 --> 00:02:57,762 You know, they accuse you of not thinking outside the box, 72 00:02:57,845 --> 00:02:59,096 but I do think outside the box. 73 00:02:59,180 --> 00:03:01,557 You know what else I do? I stand on top of a box. 74 00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:04,477 - (Chuckles) - Okay, you can stop now. 75 00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:06,520 - You might wanna save that voice. - Selina: Yeah. 76 00:03:06,937 --> 00:03:08,332 - Uh, good luck with the street shouting. - Okay. 77 00:03:08,356 --> 00:03:13,819 I gotta get back to DC, potus is having a difficult time with flotus and her... 78 00:03:13,903 --> 00:03:15,404 - Suicide attempt, yeah. - Yes. 79 00:03:15,488 --> 00:03:17,907 Selina: I don't blame her. Imagine being married to that guy. 80 00:03:18,449 --> 00:03:19,968 I wouldn't put up with that shit for a second. 81 00:03:19,992 --> 00:03:21,077 - No. - (Imitates gunshot) 82 00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:22,203 This looks good. 83 00:03:22,286 --> 00:03:24,038 - It does, right? - Amy: Do you want to... 84 00:03:24,121 --> 00:03:26,540 No, I like standing up here and looking down at everybody. 85 00:03:27,458 --> 00:03:28,501 (Sirens blaring) 86 00:03:28,584 --> 00:03:33,506 Towns like this are what I call the real towns of america, 87 00:03:33,589 --> 00:03:34,715 the real america. 88 00:03:34,799 --> 00:03:38,052 Not like the ivory towers of Washington, folks. 89 00:03:38,135 --> 00:03:39,804 That's not my world at all. 90 00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:42,765 I want to hear what you see. 91 00:03:42,848 --> 00:03:45,226 And I wanna see what you feel. 92 00:03:46,310 --> 00:03:47,353 (Bullhorn squealing) 93 00:03:47,436 --> 00:03:49,230 You know what, guys? 94 00:03:49,313 --> 00:03:52,900 My job is to communicate with you, the people, 95 00:03:52,983 --> 00:03:57,405 because if I don't communicate, guys, I communi-can't. 96 00:03:57,613 --> 00:03:59,323 (Cheering) 97 00:04:00,825 --> 00:04:02,910 By the way, I gotta say, you're doing a great job. 98 00:04:02,993 --> 00:04:05,287 Seriously, you do me better than I do me. 99 00:04:05,371 --> 00:04:07,248 You do yourself a lot. 100 00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:11,502 Bill: Joe thornhill sends his regards. 101 00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:16,966 Okay. Well, send them back. Of course, not his. Mine. 102 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:18,926 What are you having? 103 00:04:19,009 --> 00:04:21,679 Jonah: Scrambled eggs, Turkey bacon, sausage, fried egg. 104 00:04:22,304 --> 00:04:24,304 You're having a fried egg with your scrambled eggs? 105 00:04:24,348 --> 00:04:25,683 Oh, yeah. It's the egg medley. 106 00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:27,160 It's delicious. You've gotta try it. 107 00:04:27,184 --> 00:04:28,853 It's like a chicken came in your mouth. 108 00:04:29,854 --> 00:04:30,896 Okay. 109 00:04:33,858 --> 00:04:35,335 I think eggs are my favorite breakfast... 110 00:04:35,359 --> 00:04:37,736 - So, how's the Maddox camp? - It's chaos over there. 111 00:04:37,820 --> 00:04:40,632 People can smell the stench of death and they're running for the lifeboats. 112 00:04:40,656 --> 00:04:43,409 - Really? - Women and tall, talented men first. 113 00:04:43,492 --> 00:04:45,453 Have you got any offers coming in? 114 00:04:45,536 --> 00:04:47,872 The chung camp has expressed some interest. 115 00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:50,833 - Interest? No, they're not. - I'm sorry? 116 00:04:50,916 --> 00:04:52,519 I just spoke with Chris Ellis 15 minutes ago. 117 00:04:52,543 --> 00:04:53,961 There's no offer going in to you. 118 00:04:55,212 --> 00:04:57,190 But I'm expecting one because my skills are very... 119 00:04:57,214 --> 00:04:58,424 You've got no skills. 120 00:04:58,507 --> 00:05:01,218 Your uncle controls a lot of votes, sure. But you? 121 00:05:01,302 --> 00:05:03,471 If you tried to clap, you'd miss your hands. 122 00:05:03,929 --> 00:05:06,056 Well, those votes can be very useful to someone... 123 00:05:06,140 --> 00:05:08,476 No, we're way ahead on the living dead. 124 00:05:08,559 --> 00:05:10,227 We don't need your uncle or you. 125 00:05:10,311 --> 00:05:11,979 Okay, well, it's not just me. 126 00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:13,189 I have an entourage. 127 00:05:15,691 --> 00:05:18,277 - You can bring senior staff? - Absolutely. 128 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:19,361 Like who? 129 00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:23,032 He's not gonna know. 130 00:05:23,908 --> 00:05:25,743 - Boom, Isabella herrera. - Mmm-hmm. 131 00:05:26,702 --> 00:05:29,038 - Boom, Liz Graham. - Okay. 132 00:05:29,163 --> 00:05:31,999 Ace up the sleeve. Booya, ally Craig. 133 00:05:33,876 --> 00:05:35,085 Well, that's very interesting. 134 00:05:35,461 --> 00:05:37,606 So are we gonna stop dancing? You gonna make me an offer? 135 00:05:37,630 --> 00:05:40,549 Here's my offer, take your crazy eggs, stick 'em up your ass. 136 00:05:40,633 --> 00:05:42,968 Meanwhile, I can now confidently spread the story 137 00:05:43,052 --> 00:05:45,721 that the Maddox camp is hemorrhaging like a burst dog. 138 00:05:45,804 --> 00:05:47,014 Have a nice day. Oh... 139 00:05:47,431 --> 00:05:49,031 Let me pick this up. I still have a job. 140 00:05:54,021 --> 00:05:57,191 Oh, my god! It's like this thing is glued to the ground, Dan. 141 00:05:57,274 --> 00:06:00,819 Just try to make it look like a regular crate, Gary, not Thor's hammer. 142 00:06:00,903 --> 00:06:02,112 I like that t-shirt. 143 00:06:02,446 --> 00:06:03,447 - Ma'am? - Selina: Yes. 144 00:06:03,572 --> 00:06:05,342 Quincy Carter the editor of the New Hampshire globe 145 00:06:05,366 --> 00:06:06,408 is here to speak with you. 146 00:06:06,492 --> 00:06:08,577 Oh, god! That dickensian shit stack? 147 00:06:08,661 --> 00:06:11,223 Yeah, well, that shit stack can swing the entire New Hampshire vote. 148 00:06:11,247 --> 00:06:13,167 - That's why they call him "the endorser." - Yes. 149 00:06:13,457 --> 00:06:17,169 - Selina: Mr. Carter. Oh. - Ma'am, a pleasure. 150 00:06:17,253 --> 00:06:19,255 I see you've brought your soon-to-be-famous crate. 151 00:06:19,338 --> 00:06:22,132 - Ooh. - See our online diary piece for details. 152 00:06:22,216 --> 00:06:24,718 - Crate expectations. - Oh, I love it! 153 00:06:24,802 --> 00:06:27,721 - Gary, bring the crate over here. - Okay, yeah. 154 00:06:27,805 --> 00:06:29,765 So, what's the piece gonna say? 155 00:06:29,848 --> 00:06:31,493 Oh, that it's been reinforced with titanium. 156 00:06:31,517 --> 00:06:34,937 - Yes, it has. - And that it cost $1,200 to make. 157 00:06:35,312 --> 00:06:37,398 What? No, it didn't. 158 00:06:37,481 --> 00:06:40,401 You'd have to be out of your mind to spend that kind of money for a crate. 159 00:06:40,442 --> 00:06:41,882 Well, according to the manufacturer. 160 00:06:42,945 --> 00:06:45,531 - No, we don't want... we don't want... - Yeah. Okay. 161 00:06:46,031 --> 00:06:47,783 - Selina: Um... - Go get Mike. 162 00:06:47,866 --> 00:06:50,536 - The thing is, Mr. Carter. - Quincy: Mmm-hmm. 163 00:06:50,995 --> 00:06:53,163 You don't want to put your foot through a crate. 164 00:06:53,497 --> 00:06:54,707 She thinks it looks folksy, 165 00:06:54,832 --> 00:06:57,001 but she really looks like Dustin Hoffman on a crate. 166 00:06:57,084 --> 00:06:59,420 - (Laughs) Stop it. That's mean. - (Phone chimes) 167 00:06:59,503 --> 00:07:00,838 All right, I gotta get going. 168 00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:04,216 I gotta go make noises out of my face hole or whatever it is I do. 169 00:07:04,300 --> 00:07:05,718 You know, Quincy's retiring. 170 00:07:06,176 --> 00:07:09,013 The globe is gonna need somebody who's willing to be sucked up to 171 00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:11,682 and who likes to eat a lot of lunches. 172 00:07:12,016 --> 00:07:13,201 Think you're man enough for that? 173 00:07:13,225 --> 00:07:15,102 Leave selina? That's not possible. 174 00:07:15,728 --> 00:07:18,522 Is it? You would see a lot more of me. 175 00:07:18,606 --> 00:07:20,024 Oh, no. That's not good. 176 00:07:20,149 --> 00:07:22,568 - (Chuckles) - I could go look at houses. 177 00:07:22,651 --> 00:07:25,731 Hey, Wendy. Mike, I know it seems weird, but you're actually needed. Let's go. 178 00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:28,657 Actually, I want to finish my muffin and then I'll go get... are you... 179 00:07:28,741 --> 00:07:30,821 I'm helping you out. Let's go. No, let's go. Come on. 180 00:07:30,868 --> 00:07:32,786 - Wendy: That's kinda mean. - That's very rude. 181 00:07:32,870 --> 00:07:36,290 Oh, I so wish we could talk longer, but I'm afraid, yes, we've got this... 182 00:07:36,373 --> 00:07:38,250 - Quincy? - Quincy: Michael! 183 00:07:39,043 --> 00:07:40,794 Thank you for the recipe. 184 00:07:40,878 --> 00:07:42,755 Did you have a nice vacation? 185 00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:44,357 The globe is doing a piece on the crate. 186 00:07:44,381 --> 00:07:47,134 Yeah, like it cost a million dollars or something crazy. 187 00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:49,386 No, no, no, there's no story there, Quincy. 188 00:07:49,470 --> 00:07:50,947 Right, that's what I was saying to him. 189 00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:52,407 - Yes, exactly. - I'll take care of this. 190 00:07:52,431 --> 00:07:54,683 - Okay, great. Great. - Quincy: What? 191 00:07:54,767 --> 00:07:58,812 Oh, my god! I cannot stand that affected butt plug. 192 00:07:58,896 --> 00:08:01,291 If I could lift the fucking crate, I'd beat him to death with it. 193 00:08:01,315 --> 00:08:03,209 - Okay, we will get rid of him. - Mike: Good news. 194 00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:05,653 Quincy's agreed to do a more substantial in-depth interview. 195 00:08:05,736 --> 00:08:07,922 - We'll schedule it for tomorrow. - That would be the other option. 196 00:08:07,946 --> 00:08:09,198 - Quincy: Splendid. - Yes. 197 00:08:09,281 --> 00:08:12,368 Now I am away to lunch. Wine and branzini wait for no man. 198 00:08:12,451 --> 00:08:14,203 - Oh, my goodness. - Until we meet again. 199 00:08:14,286 --> 00:08:15,913 - Okay, bon appétit. - Quincy: Merci. 200 00:08:16,246 --> 00:08:18,457 - You fucking douche. - He is a character, though. 201 00:08:18,540 --> 00:08:20,918 I hate those. Hate. 202 00:08:21,585 --> 00:08:23,545 All right, so where is Kent? 203 00:08:23,629 --> 00:08:25,172 I think he's still with flotus. 204 00:08:25,255 --> 00:08:27,508 God. I hope he doesn't give her a crate to stand on. 205 00:08:27,591 --> 00:08:30,552 Otherwise she's gonna hang herself from the nearest light fixture. 206 00:08:31,261 --> 00:08:33,347 Jonah: All right, call me anytime. 207 00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:41,689 Honey, come help mom sort her pills. You used to love that. 208 00:08:41,772 --> 00:08:44,400 I screwed up, mom. I should've neverjoined Maddox. 209 00:08:44,483 --> 00:08:46,819 And now he's finished and I've come home to die. 210 00:08:47,778 --> 00:08:49,697 Well, can your D.C. friends help? 211 00:08:49,780 --> 00:08:53,575 I don't have any friends in DC, mom. They all call me a dick behind my back. 212 00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:57,037 But, like, right behind my back so I can hear them. 213 00:08:57,287 --> 00:08:59,873 Like you always said, honey, "haters gonna hate." 214 00:08:59,957 --> 00:09:01,375 Right, exactly. 215 00:09:02,084 --> 00:09:04,837 One day, they'll wish they had listened to me. 216 00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:06,463 God, I wish I had a dirty bomb. 217 00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:09,734 Mom, do you think that you could talk to uncle Jeff for me? 218 00:09:09,758 --> 00:09:11,552 - No. - I want a job on my own merits 219 00:09:11,635 --> 00:09:12,946 and I think that he's the guy to get it for me. 220 00:09:12,970 --> 00:09:14,239 You know, we're not on good terms. 221 00:09:14,263 --> 00:09:15,407 You don't have to fuck him, mom. 222 00:09:15,431 --> 00:09:16,974 - You just have to call him. - What? 223 00:09:17,266 --> 00:09:18,786 - Don't give me that look. - All right. 224 00:09:18,851 --> 00:09:20,686 - It's how D.C. people talk. - I know. 225 00:09:20,769 --> 00:09:22,929 If you wanna walk the walk, you have to talk that talk. 226 00:09:22,980 --> 00:09:24,231 Okay. 227 00:09:24,314 --> 00:09:27,067 It's not a radical stance on immigration at all. 228 00:09:27,151 --> 00:09:28,777 It's really more of a practical stance. 229 00:09:28,861 --> 00:09:31,905 - Ma'am, that is going to fly with our readers. - Oh, good. 230 00:09:31,989 --> 00:09:35,033 And, finally, ma'am, might I ask you the qqq? 231 00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:37,745 - "Quincy's quirky questions"? - Yes. 232 00:09:37,828 --> 00:09:39,788 I ask the same questions to everyone I interview. 233 00:09:39,872 --> 00:09:41,415 A little spécialité de la Maison. 234 00:09:41,498 --> 00:09:43,417 Ah, magnifique. (Chuckles) 235 00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:47,588 What person, living or dead, do you most despise? 236 00:09:48,046 --> 00:09:53,719 I really try not to hate anybody because I think it's a negative use of energy 237 00:09:53,802 --> 00:09:55,304 to hate another human being. 238 00:09:55,387 --> 00:09:57,181 Ah. Most people say Hitler. 239 00:10:00,017 --> 00:10:02,436 Well, yeah, certainly. I'm not a fan of Hitler. 240 00:10:03,187 --> 00:10:04,480 So, change it to Hitler? 241 00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:06,899 Okay, Hitler, yeah. 242 00:10:06,982 --> 00:10:09,693 What would you alter about your personality? 243 00:10:10,694 --> 00:10:11,695 Hmm. 244 00:10:12,196 --> 00:10:15,616 I guess I would say that I can be a little bit impatient. 245 00:10:15,699 --> 00:10:18,577 - Oh, god, yes, you can be. - Amy: No. 246 00:10:19,745 --> 00:10:22,456 So I guess I would... I should change that. 247 00:10:22,539 --> 00:10:24,124 Neil diamond gave the same answer. 248 00:10:24,208 --> 00:10:26,168 What fun. I love him. 249 00:10:26,251 --> 00:10:28,837 Sweet Caroline is so good, and cracklin' Rosie is just... 250 00:10:28,921 --> 00:10:30,964 Why does god allow suffering? 251 00:10:34,051 --> 00:10:36,970 Selina: Well, I wouldn't ever presume to know the mind of god... 252 00:10:37,054 --> 00:10:39,348 (Softly) Siri, why does god allow suffering? 253 00:10:40,224 --> 00:10:44,353 I think that suffering can engender a kind of resilience. 254 00:10:44,561 --> 00:10:48,565 Although that doesn't really explain childhood cancers and... 255 00:10:48,649 --> 00:10:52,152 "Childhood cancers." Excellent answer. 256 00:10:52,402 --> 00:10:54,822 Shall we halt there? I have a recital to attend. 257 00:10:54,905 --> 00:10:56,966 - Well, I don't want to keep you from that. - Oh, well. 258 00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:58,826 (Speaking French) 259 00:10:58,909 --> 00:11:00,994 "Always a pleasure. Never a chore." 260 00:11:01,078 --> 00:11:03,580 Yes, there you go. I love the French talking. 261 00:11:03,664 --> 00:11:06,542 - It's wonderful. Thank you so much. - Mike: Thanks so much, Quincy. 262 00:11:06,625 --> 00:11:07,685 Selina: (Chuckles) Oh, my god. 263 00:11:07,709 --> 00:11:12,130 He has his head so up his ass, he can wave out his mouth. 264 00:11:12,214 --> 00:11:13,507 I mean, honestly. 265 00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:17,135 Ma'am, we have a donation offer from oliveri systems for $4,000. 266 00:11:17,511 --> 00:11:20,514 Four grand? That's not even worth cashing the check. 267 00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:22,724 I'll have the guys call back. It is a gummi. 268 00:11:22,808 --> 00:11:24,393 Gummi? What's that? 269 00:11:24,476 --> 00:11:27,104 G-u-m-m-i, "give us more money, idiot." 270 00:11:27,479 --> 00:11:29,064 Ben: Who changed the code? 271 00:11:29,147 --> 00:11:30,440 What happened to hadda? 272 00:11:30,566 --> 00:11:32,043 "How about digging deeper, assholes?" 273 00:11:32,067 --> 00:11:33,277 I always call them dicks. 274 00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:35,737 It doesn't stand for anything. 275 00:11:38,073 --> 00:11:39,449 - (All gasp) - Oh, shit. 276 00:11:40,868 --> 00:11:42,262 (Whispering) What do I do? What do I do? 277 00:11:42,286 --> 00:11:43,646 Ben: (Stammering) I don't want it! 278 00:11:45,956 --> 00:11:47,225 There, it's not recording anymore. 279 00:11:47,249 --> 00:11:48,750 - Delete it. - Amy: It knows too much. 280 00:11:48,834 --> 00:11:50,603 - Selina: Delete it. - You can't delete it because if you do, 281 00:11:50,627 --> 00:11:54,047 then he'll know we did it and he'll think we said some terrible things, which we did. 282 00:11:54,131 --> 00:11:56,109 - Selina: Who cares? - Let's just throw it in the toilet. 283 00:11:56,133 --> 00:11:58,719 - And say what, Mike? - That we dropped it in the toilet. 284 00:11:58,802 --> 00:12:00,562 Guys, guys, guys, you better decide quickly. 285 00:12:00,846 --> 00:12:02,389 Ah, too late. Went into sleep mode. 286 00:12:02,472 --> 00:12:04,272 Quincy's heading back up. He forgot his phone. 287 00:12:04,308 --> 00:12:07,144 Oh, Gary, (stammering) Go stall him. 288 00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:08,395 - Yeah. - No. 289 00:12:08,478 --> 00:12:10,230 Selina: You need to stall him. 290 00:12:10,314 --> 00:12:11,857 It's password-protected. 291 00:12:11,940 --> 00:12:13,483 - Fuck. - Hang on, hang on. 292 00:12:13,567 --> 00:12:16,528 "0001, 0002..." 293 00:12:17,571 --> 00:12:20,198 You cannot be serious. 294 00:12:22,618 --> 00:12:24,995 Mr. Carter, hi. Gary Walsh. 295 00:12:25,495 --> 00:12:27,247 I just wanted to say I'm a big fan. 296 00:12:27,331 --> 00:12:31,043 Thank you. You are from the south. I hear it in your voice. 297 00:12:31,126 --> 00:12:34,796 - I am. Alabama. - I just need to retrieve my cell phone. 298 00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:36,316 You can't go in there at the moment. 299 00:12:36,340 --> 00:12:37,716 - I'm sorry. - Why not? 300 00:12:38,050 --> 00:12:39,176 I don't know. 301 00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:41,470 - Matters of state? - I don't know. 302 00:12:42,179 --> 00:12:43,639 I see. 303 00:12:43,722 --> 00:12:45,641 So, where exactly in Alabama are you from? 304 00:12:45,724 --> 00:12:46,850 Don't know. 305 00:12:48,518 --> 00:12:50,158 Birmingham. Have you heard of Birmingham? 306 00:12:50,187 --> 00:12:52,856 - It is a lovely... - I really do need my cell. 307 00:12:52,940 --> 00:12:55,859 - I'm gonna go talk to them for just a second. - Let's both do that. 308 00:12:56,360 --> 00:12:57,945 It looked me out. 309 00:12:58,028 --> 00:12:59,613 - Smash it. - Mike: Are you kidding? 310 00:12:59,696 --> 00:13:02,199 No, I'm not kidding. Violence solves everything. 311 00:13:02,532 --> 00:13:04,534 - Just sma... - You have it. Marvelous. 312 00:13:04,785 --> 00:13:06,203 - Madam vice president. - Hello. 313 00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:07,388 No, the light bulb's fine, see? 314 00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:08,932 - Amy: Oh, all right. Yeah. - See? Yeah. 315 00:13:08,956 --> 00:13:12,250 I was just admiring it. Your charging portal is so clean. 316 00:13:12,334 --> 00:13:16,296 - Do you swab it? - No. But, "for this relief, much thanks." 317 00:13:16,380 --> 00:13:18,131 "Exit, pursued by a bear." 318 00:13:18,215 --> 00:13:19,216 (Selina laughing) 319 00:13:24,221 --> 00:13:27,391 First I want to apologize for what I said last time we spoke. 320 00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:29,202 You know when I've had a drink, I can be a little... 321 00:13:29,226 --> 00:13:31,186 - (Softly) A bit of a bitch. - Be a little feisty. 322 00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:32,479 (Chuckles) 323 00:13:32,896 --> 00:13:34,231 So, how's the family? 324 00:13:34,898 --> 00:13:37,234 Lucy's... Lucy's engaged. 325 00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:38,819 - Who cares? - That's wonderful. 326 00:13:38,902 --> 00:13:41,822 Yeah, I'm good. I had one of my blood sugar episodes 327 00:13:41,905 --> 00:13:43,865 - at cvs the other day... - Mom, nobody cares. 328 00:13:43,949 --> 00:13:46,326 - But I tell you what. - Get to it. 329 00:13:46,410 --> 00:13:48,328 I'm calling, Jeff, because I was wondering 330 00:13:48,412 --> 00:13:52,499 if maybe you could make a call over to governor chung's campaign team 331 00:13:52,582 --> 00:13:54,209 and tell them that Jay Jay needs a job. 332 00:13:54,292 --> 00:13:56,503 No, no, Jay Jay has a lot ofjob offers. 333 00:13:56,586 --> 00:13:58,255 Jay Jay has a lot ofjob offers. 334 00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:00,483 - And maybe governor chung... - And maybe governor chung... 335 00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:02,652 - Would want to snap him up. - Want to snap him right up. 336 00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:03,844 Yeah. 337 00:14:03,927 --> 00:14:05,679 Yeah, yeah, I know he can be. 338 00:14:06,138 --> 00:14:09,307 But I was just wondering, do you think you could help us out, Jeff? 339 00:14:10,308 --> 00:14:11,351 Oh! 340 00:14:11,435 --> 00:14:12,978 - What's he saying? - Okay. 341 00:14:13,061 --> 00:14:15,313 He's gonna be thrilled when I tell him. 342 00:14:15,397 --> 00:14:16,440 Yes! 343 00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:18,608 So, Lucy, is she pregnant? 344 00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:22,279 No, I wasn't accusing. 345 00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:24,489 I was just asking, is she pregnant? 346 00:14:24,573 --> 00:14:26,033 What is wrong with you? 347 00:14:26,575 --> 00:14:28,535 Well, we all know she's no angel. 348 00:14:28,618 --> 00:14:30,912 She does drugs. She's got that tattoo... 349 00:14:34,916 --> 00:14:35,917 (Telephone beeps) 350 00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:39,087 Mom, what happened? 351 00:14:40,464 --> 00:14:43,258 He hung up. He's such a jackass. 352 00:14:45,635 --> 00:14:47,888 But he's gonna make the call to chung, right? 353 00:14:47,971 --> 00:14:50,474 - Oh, that's not gonna happen. - Oh, mom! 354 00:14:51,183 --> 00:14:53,185 Oh, you are so annoying! 355 00:14:53,268 --> 00:14:55,604 How do you not just punch yourself in the face? 356 00:14:56,021 --> 00:14:59,232 - Call him back. - He's not going to answer. 357 00:14:59,316 --> 00:15:00,609 Who else can we call? 358 00:15:00,692 --> 00:15:03,111 Oh, I don't know, mom. Is there anyone else in our family 359 00:15:03,195 --> 00:15:05,405 that controls the senior citizen vote in new england? 360 00:15:05,489 --> 00:15:07,574 Because that'd be my next fucking call. 361 00:15:07,657 --> 00:15:10,702 This community center, it's got volunteers and homeless people? 362 00:15:10,786 --> 00:15:12,079 And is there anybody else there? 363 00:15:12,162 --> 00:15:15,957 An immigrant family from Syria who had a horrific time getting to america. 364 00:15:16,041 --> 00:15:17,643 - They're gonna be good to talk to. - Sue: Ma'am. Ma'am. 365 00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:21,713 Oliveri systems just withdrew its donations and so has dugdale recycling. 366 00:15:21,797 --> 00:15:23,006 - Just now. - (Phone chimes) 367 00:15:23,131 --> 00:15:24,508 Yeah, it's out there. 368 00:15:25,050 --> 00:15:27,344 Quincy ran an online piece about the gummi code. 369 00:15:27,469 --> 00:15:28,970 - You're kidding. - Mike: No. 370 00:15:29,304 --> 00:15:30,347 You're kidding... 371 00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:32,384 Dan: I've got it right here. 372 00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:34,601 "Any organization donating to the meyer campaign 373 00:15:34,684 --> 00:15:37,854 "may want to reflect on how its tightfisted idiocy 374 00:15:37,938 --> 00:15:40,357 "is mocked by the woman on the $1,200 crate." 375 00:15:49,616 --> 00:15:51,159 Okay, well... 376 00:15:52,536 --> 00:15:53,537 (Clears throat) 377 00:15:54,371 --> 00:15:56,206 Well, there's just... 378 00:15:56,373 --> 00:15:57,707 There's no way out of this. 379 00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:02,963 I mean, you know, not for a sitting vice president 380 00:16:03,755 --> 00:16:06,091 who's lost Iowa and New Hampshire. 381 00:16:07,592 --> 00:16:09,052 You know what "vp" stands for? 382 00:16:09,719 --> 00:16:13,098 It stands for "victory permafucked." 383 00:16:15,392 --> 00:16:16,685 I don't deserve this. 384 00:16:16,977 --> 00:16:18,395 You know? God damn it. 385 00:16:18,562 --> 00:16:23,400 I don't, but you do, because you are all losers! 386 00:16:24,401 --> 00:16:26,653 Every motherfucking one of you. 387 00:16:27,195 --> 00:16:29,114 Loser! Loser! 388 00:16:34,244 --> 00:16:36,788 (Sirens blaring) 389 00:16:36,872 --> 00:16:40,000 Madam vice president, are all your donors idiots or just a select few? 390 00:16:40,083 --> 00:16:41,835 Just don't say anything, you'll be fine. 391 00:16:43,044 --> 00:16:44,564 Is this your idea of fiscal responsibility? 392 00:16:44,588 --> 00:16:45,898 - I'm Amy brookheimer. - Relax, relax. 393 00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:48,049 - A little room, please yeah. - Hypertension kills. 394 00:16:48,133 --> 00:16:50,069 - It's such an honor. - Reporter: Did you know how much 395 00:16:50,093 --> 00:16:51,404 that crate cost? And when did you know it? 396 00:16:51,428 --> 00:16:53,322 The vice president is not here to answer questions right now. 397 00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:54,448 She's here to reach out to the community. 398 00:16:54,472 --> 00:16:56,558 Listen, I'm so sorry about all of this. 399 00:16:56,641 --> 00:16:59,561 You're asking a rhetorical question and the answer is obviously no. 400 00:16:59,644 --> 00:17:00,937 See this? 401 00:17:01,605 --> 00:17:03,481 I'm done. I'm done. 402 00:17:04,774 --> 00:17:07,974 - Ben: Take your lithium, jag-offs. - Mike: God, it's so good to hear your voice. 403 00:17:08,111 --> 00:17:09,696 No, it's going much worse. 404 00:17:10,780 --> 00:17:13,867 Let's find us a house, Wendy, where we can keep ducks. 405 00:17:14,284 --> 00:17:15,619 For us and the ducks. 406 00:17:16,036 --> 00:17:17,579 Of course, the kids, too. 407 00:17:17,662 --> 00:17:19,748 - Amy: Mike. - I have to go see homeless people. 408 00:17:20,290 --> 00:17:22,125 And see if there's one with a pool. 409 00:17:22,459 --> 00:17:24,127 This is elida and fadi. 410 00:17:24,878 --> 00:17:26,338 Hello, hi. 411 00:17:26,755 --> 00:17:28,798 I really want to hear your story. 412 00:17:28,882 --> 00:17:30,342 It is not a nice one. 413 00:17:30,759 --> 00:17:35,805 No, life can be very challenging. 414 00:17:36,264 --> 00:17:39,017 I mean, sometimes through no fault of your own, 415 00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:40,518 it's just one... 416 00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:45,523 Disaster after another disaster. 417 00:17:47,150 --> 00:17:48,944 Syria is very troubled. 418 00:17:49,027 --> 00:17:50,362 Hmm? Oh, mmm-hmm. 419 00:17:50,987 --> 00:17:55,033 - Right. - Amy: Ma'am, Kent is here. 420 00:17:55,492 --> 00:17:56,952 He's acting weird. 421 00:17:57,202 --> 00:17:59,120 Not normal weird, weird-weird. 422 00:18:00,872 --> 00:18:02,374 What does that mean? 423 00:18:04,542 --> 00:18:06,670 - Kent. - Ma'am... 424 00:18:07,712 --> 00:18:08,922 What, are you okay? 425 00:18:09,005 --> 00:18:12,676 Kind of, in a way, and also not. 426 00:18:12,759 --> 00:18:14,970 And in a third way both. 427 00:18:15,053 --> 00:18:17,430 What are you talking about? What is it? Are we at war? 428 00:18:17,514 --> 00:18:19,849 Ma'am, we're america. We're always at war. 429 00:18:20,976 --> 00:18:24,479 The first lady isn't in a good place. 430 00:18:24,813 --> 00:18:27,357 Oh. The hospital. 431 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:33,738 Mentally. Potus has decided that he wants to devote more time to looking after her. 432 00:18:34,072 --> 00:18:35,073 Yikes! 433 00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:37,450 - At any rate... - Yeah. 434 00:18:38,243 --> 00:18:39,619 He's gonna resign. 435 00:18:41,371 --> 00:18:42,539 What? 436 00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:45,709 Ma'am, you're about to become the 45th president of the United States. 437 00:18:46,751 --> 00:18:48,878 It's not a dress rehearsal, not a drill. 438 00:18:49,045 --> 00:18:51,840 You are going to be the president. 439 00:18:53,758 --> 00:18:56,219 - Now? - We're not sure when, but very soon. 440 00:18:59,556 --> 00:19:01,224 Uh... (Clears throat). 441 00:19:01,766 --> 00:19:04,269 Where's potus gonna live, though? 442 00:19:05,562 --> 00:19:08,481 - Where is he... - Yeah, 'cause doesn't he have to move? 443 00:19:09,065 --> 00:19:11,026 Well, yeah, but that's none of your concern. 444 00:19:11,109 --> 00:19:13,212 - That'll be taken care of. - No, but does he have a house? 445 00:19:13,236 --> 00:19:15,676 Somebody will handle that. You don't have to worry about that. 446 00:19:19,993 --> 00:19:21,161 You okay? 447 00:19:21,870 --> 00:19:24,289 I just have to go to the bathroom. 448 00:19:24,581 --> 00:19:26,666 - Do you know where it is? - I think it's behind you. 449 00:19:30,962 --> 00:19:33,089 (Door opens and closes) 450 00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:35,091 Gary: Ma'am? Excuse me. 451 00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:41,931 Ma'am? Ma'am? 452 00:19:42,098 --> 00:19:43,099 (Knocks) 453 00:19:45,185 --> 00:19:47,103 Hi, ma'am. You all right? 454 00:19:48,605 --> 00:19:49,814 Yeah? 455 00:19:50,648 --> 00:19:52,692 - Gary... - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 456 00:19:55,612 --> 00:19:57,322 (Whispering) I'm gonna be president. 457 00:19:58,782 --> 00:20:00,617 Of course you are. 458 00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:02,243 I mean, there's always hope, ma'am. 459 00:20:02,327 --> 00:20:03,804 We've got plenty of hope in this world. 460 00:20:03,828 --> 00:20:05,955 No, no, no, no. I mean... 461 00:20:07,374 --> 00:20:10,418 Potus is gonna resign... 462 00:20:11,586 --> 00:20:14,047 And I'm about to become president 463 00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:16,216 of america! (Chuckles) 464 00:20:18,676 --> 00:20:19,677 (Sobs) 465 00:20:20,470 --> 00:20:23,056 No, no, no. Don't cry. 466 00:20:23,139 --> 00:20:24,641 Don't cry. 467 00:20:25,475 --> 00:20:27,018 Oh. Ooh-ooh. 468 00:20:27,102 --> 00:20:31,606 Your nose is bleeding. You're bleeding. Oh, my god, you're bleeding! 469 00:20:31,689 --> 00:20:32,732 Oh, Gary... 470 00:20:32,816 --> 00:20:34,668 - (Muffled) - When I get excited, my nose bleeds. 471 00:20:34,692 --> 00:20:37,195 - What? - When I get excited, my nose bleeds. 472 00:20:37,278 --> 00:20:40,156 Okay, you've gotta sit down. Wait, you've gotta sit down. 473 00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:42,242 Gary, you've gotta sit down and put your head back. 474 00:20:42,325 --> 00:20:45,036 - Put your head back. - When I get excited... 475 00:20:45,120 --> 00:20:46,639 - Put your head back. - When I get excited... 476 00:20:46,663 --> 00:20:48,873 Well, that's good. Wait, let me get you... 477 00:20:49,666 --> 00:20:52,419 Shit. Gary, there's... 478 00:20:53,336 --> 00:20:54,337 (Both laughing) 479 00:20:54,838 --> 00:20:57,924 - There's no toilet paper. - Go in my bag. 480 00:20:58,007 --> 00:20:59,193 - Selina: What? - Go in my bag. 481 00:20:59,217 --> 00:21:00,677 Gary: It's in my bag. (Coughs) 482 00:21:01,678 --> 00:21:02,846 Selina: Okay. 483 00:21:02,929 --> 00:21:04,597 It's in the... it's in the... 484 00:21:04,681 --> 00:21:06,724 - Selina: What? Where is it? - It's in the outer... 485 00:21:06,808 --> 00:21:09,936 - It's in the outer pocket. - Wait, what? 486 00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:12,856 What is this for? 487 00:21:14,232 --> 00:21:16,860 Oh, shit. That looks bad through here. 488 00:21:17,694 --> 00:21:18,736 (Laughing) 489 00:21:18,820 --> 00:21:20,697 Stick these in your nose. 490 00:21:22,198 --> 00:21:24,200 Shove this up there. 491 00:21:25,410 --> 00:21:27,412 That'll do the trick. 492 00:21:29,289 --> 00:21:31,666 Why is there a bicycle book? 493 00:21:32,208 --> 00:21:34,919 Gary, seriously, why... 494 00:21:35,003 --> 00:21:36,463 My god! You look so disgusting. 495 00:21:36,546 --> 00:21:38,047 I love bicycles. 496 00:21:38,381 --> 00:21:43,803 I got it. Here, I got it. I got it. Here, shove these in. Shove these in. 497 00:21:46,139 --> 00:21:47,849 We gotta get out... uh-oh. 498 00:21:48,892 --> 00:21:50,268 Everything all right? 499 00:21:52,145 --> 00:21:53,146 (Both laughing) 500 00:21:54,564 --> 00:21:57,066 Great. I need to go. 501 00:22:03,823 --> 00:22:05,092 (Whispering) Amy, Amy, Amy, Amy. 502 00:22:05,116 --> 00:22:07,303 - Jesus, what the fuck happened to you? - Listen, listen. 503 00:22:07,327 --> 00:22:11,080 The president is resigning. Selina is gonna be president. 504 00:22:11,831 --> 00:22:12,832 (Laughing) 505 00:22:13,374 --> 00:22:14,751 Dan: What's going on? What's up? 506 00:22:14,834 --> 00:22:17,003 Potus is resigning. Selina's president. 507 00:22:17,253 --> 00:22:18,254 Yes. 508 00:22:19,839 --> 00:22:22,509 (Whispers) Potus is stepping down. Selina's gonna be president. 509 00:22:22,592 --> 00:22:23,885 Fuck off! 510 00:22:25,428 --> 00:22:29,057 Potus is gonna resign. Selina is gonna be president. 511 00:22:30,767 --> 00:22:32,435 Oh, shit. 512 00:22:33,102 --> 00:22:34,729 I was gonna raise ducks. 513 00:22:36,814 --> 00:22:38,525 Selina: Okay, take two. 514 00:22:38,775 --> 00:22:41,569 I'm so sorry I went away, but now I'm back. 515 00:22:41,653 --> 00:22:43,464 Woman: Fadi and elida, they've had a terrible time. 516 00:22:43,488 --> 00:22:45,156 No. Oh, I bet they have. 517 00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:46,720 Woman: They just arrived a month ago. 518 00:22:46,783 --> 00:22:48,284 At rye harbor. 519 00:22:48,368 --> 00:22:50,912 Rye harbor. Oh, that's lovely. 520 00:22:50,995 --> 00:22:55,750 So you had a safe arrival, which means that lady luck was with you. 521 00:22:55,833 --> 00:22:57,794 Ourjourney was like a horrible dream. 522 00:22:58,127 --> 00:22:59,128 Mmm. 523 00:22:59,254 --> 00:23:02,006 - Right. - At one time, we hid in a well for five days. 524 00:23:02,090 --> 00:23:04,968 Good lord. A well. 525 00:23:05,301 --> 00:23:06,302 (Clears throat) 526 00:23:06,719 --> 00:23:07,929 - Yeah? - Um. 527 00:23:09,055 --> 00:23:12,183 It's happening in 48 hours. 528 00:23:14,978 --> 00:23:19,816 Okay, I gotta go, but, gosh, good luck with all of your terrible troubles 529 00:23:19,899 --> 00:23:22,193 and welcome to america. 530 00:23:24,696 --> 00:23:25,697 (Stifling laughter) 531 00:23:27,574 --> 00:23:28,575 (Shushing) 532 00:23:29,659 --> 00:23:31,744 (Whispers) Winner, winner, winner, winner, winner. 533 00:23:31,828 --> 00:23:33,746 Winner, winner, winner. 534 00:23:33,830 --> 00:23:38,084 Okay, okay, so as weird as this may seem... 535 00:23:38,167 --> 00:23:39,544 Okay. 536 00:23:39,627 --> 00:23:40,947 You are still running a campaign. 537 00:23:41,004 --> 00:23:43,881 - Oh, my god, right. - So somebody has to be here. 538 00:23:43,965 --> 00:23:46,718 Obviously, I have to go with you because I'm... 539 00:23:46,801 --> 00:23:49,304 - My campaign manager. - Yeah, and we'll talk chief of staff. 540 00:23:49,387 --> 00:23:51,514 And you have to come with me, Ben. 541 00:23:51,598 --> 00:23:52,825 That's what all the chicks say. 542 00:23:52,849 --> 00:23:53,850 - (Laughing) - Shh! 543 00:23:55,226 --> 00:23:56,894 - And, Mike, I need you. - Yes, you do. 544 00:23:57,020 --> 00:23:59,939 And obviously I need to come with you 'cause you need my... 545 00:24:00,023 --> 00:24:02,108 - Ruthless eye. - Yeah, I have no soul. 546 00:24:02,191 --> 00:24:03,568 (Both laughing) 547 00:24:04,694 --> 00:24:05,903 - And, Gary... - Yeah? 548 00:24:05,987 --> 00:24:07,947 - I need you to stay. - What? 549 00:24:08,031 --> 00:24:11,784 Yeah, I need you to stay here to be the face of the campaign and everything. 550 00:24:11,868 --> 00:24:12,869 - Okay? - What? 551 00:24:12,952 --> 00:24:16,497 And then tomorrow, you take a commercial flight back to DC. 552 00:24:16,581 --> 00:24:19,167 And then we can talk inauguration shoes. 553 00:24:19,250 --> 00:24:23,046 Okay, ma'am, but this is the most important moment of my... of your life. 554 00:24:23,129 --> 00:24:25,131 It's going. It's going. 555 00:24:25,214 --> 00:24:28,468 Sorry, I just feel like it was... 556 00:24:28,551 --> 00:24:30,136 I'd be right next to you. 557 00:24:30,219 --> 00:24:32,764 I mean, I would absolutely agree that that would be me. 558 00:24:33,056 --> 00:24:34,057 (Sirens blaring) 559 00:24:34,140 --> 00:24:36,160 Dan: This is better than any of the sex I've ever had. 560 00:24:36,184 --> 00:24:37,435 I mean, almost any of it. 561 00:24:37,518 --> 00:24:40,271 I feel sick, but it's just in my neck, you know? 562 00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:41,481 Wow. 563 00:24:41,731 --> 00:24:45,652 Only 44 other senior press advisors have ever felt like this. 564 00:24:45,735 --> 00:24:47,945 That's right, yeah. We're the chosen ones, bud. 565 00:24:48,321 --> 00:24:50,114 It really is all about you, isn't it? 566 00:24:50,573 --> 00:24:52,509 Woman on TV: The president announced that he will be 567 00:24:52,533 --> 00:24:54,535 stepping down with immediate effect 568 00:24:54,619 --> 00:24:57,747 - in order to help his wife deal with her illness. - Oh, no. 569 00:24:58,164 --> 00:24:59,916 No, no, no, no, no. 570 00:25:00,041 --> 00:25:02,168 No, no, no, no. Fuck me. 571 00:25:07,965 --> 00:25:10,301 Gary: Is this soup vegetarian? 572 00:25:11,010 --> 00:25:12,887 - I think it's vegan. - Nice. 573 00:25:13,346 --> 00:25:15,807 So maybe one or two types of beans? 574 00:25:15,890 --> 00:25:18,101 I wouldn't know. I don't make the soup. 575 00:25:18,601 --> 00:25:20,478 Maybe three, actually. 576 00:25:21,312 --> 00:25:22,605 - I don't know. - Yeah. 577 00:25:22,689 --> 00:25:25,900 Jonah: Someone has just flown two planes into my career. 578 00:25:25,983 --> 00:25:28,403 My heart is racing, like, 200 miles an hour. 579 00:25:28,486 --> 00:25:32,031 Me, too, but that's normal for me 'cause I'm not a healthy man. 580 00:25:32,949 --> 00:25:34,189 Jonah: I don't understand this, 581 00:25:34,242 --> 00:25:36,402 'cause yesterday we were all doing jokes about the box, 582 00:25:36,452 --> 00:25:37,954 now she's commander-in-chief. 583 00:25:38,037 --> 00:25:39,455 How has this happened? 584 00:25:39,789 --> 00:25:41,833 So, what's it like working for the vice president? 585 00:25:42,959 --> 00:25:46,713 It's my greatest joy just to stand by her every day, 586 00:25:47,004 --> 00:25:48,297 just to be by her side. 587 00:25:48,548 --> 00:25:50,049 Jonah: Buy yourself a gun, mom, 588 00:25:50,133 --> 00:25:52,885 because america's gonna have to shoot its way out of this. 589 00:25:52,969 --> 00:25:54,512 Does she often leave you behind? 590 00:25:54,971 --> 00:25:56,639 No, this is the first time. 591 00:25:56,764 --> 00:25:57,807 (Chuckles) 592 00:25:59,809 --> 00:26:00,810 (Stifles cry) 593 00:26:01,978 --> 00:26:03,738 (Voice breaking) Oh, I didn't get any salad. 594 00:26:03,980 --> 00:26:06,107 Oh, god, mom. No, make this stop. 595 00:26:06,190 --> 00:26:09,527 - Okay, okay. - No, don't turn it off, mom. 596 00:26:09,819 --> 00:26:10,862 Ben: Wow. 597 00:26:11,529 --> 00:26:14,407 - This must be what it feels like to be happy. - (Sirens blaring) 598 00:26:17,076 --> 00:26:18,661 Ma'am, are you okay? 599 00:26:21,164 --> 00:26:23,332 I'm gonna be the fucking president.