1 00:00:18,603 --> 00:00:19,854 (Crowd shouting) 2 00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:23,357 (Siren blaring) 3 00:00:23,441 --> 00:00:26,152 Is it okay that I am actually excited to go to an economic summit? 4 00:00:26,235 --> 00:00:28,196 (Chuckles) Time to lose your fiscal cherry. 5 00:00:28,279 --> 00:00:29,530 Oh, my god. Those protesters 6 00:00:29,614 --> 00:00:31,616 shouldn't be allowed so close. 7 00:00:31,699 --> 00:00:33,492 They're just regular people, like you, Gary. 8 00:00:33,576 --> 00:00:34,660 Or Amy. 9 00:00:34,952 --> 00:00:37,538 Gary: Let me tell you that when you announce 7,000 jobs, 10 00:00:37,622 --> 00:00:39,422 they're gonna be fanning you with those signs. 11 00:00:39,624 --> 00:00:42,019 - Selina: Yeah. - You're gonna be like the "fairyjob-mother." 12 00:00:42,043 --> 00:00:43,044 Selina: (Chuckles) Yeah. 13 00:00:43,336 --> 00:00:46,214 I want selina's job announcement on every network, okay? 14 00:00:46,297 --> 00:00:48,984 I want to hear the discovery channel say, "we interrupt these sharks." 15 00:00:49,008 --> 00:00:51,695 Yeah, you know what? Thanks for sending me the speech, Mike. It's perfect... 16 00:00:51,719 --> 00:00:53,012 - Great. - Ly shit. 17 00:00:53,095 --> 00:00:54,990 You know what? Your first drafts are always terrible. 18 00:00:55,014 --> 00:00:56,807 - That's my fourth. - Oh, god... 19 00:00:56,891 --> 00:00:58,768 Hey, Dan, why not put the Mike hazing on pause 20 00:00:58,851 --> 00:01:01,121 and tell us why we're bringing selina's personal trainer everywhere? 21 00:01:01,145 --> 00:01:03,439 Because, Amy, trainers help release endorphins. Okay? 22 00:01:03,522 --> 00:01:04,732 I think it's a good idea. 23 00:01:04,815 --> 00:01:06,710 You know what? Next time, we'll get a clown and cheer you up. 24 00:01:06,734 --> 00:01:08,778 Oh, good, a two-clown entourage. 25 00:01:09,153 --> 00:01:10,363 (Indistinct chatter) 26 00:01:11,155 --> 00:01:13,074 This is Clifford Powell, rheingold plastics. 27 00:01:13,157 --> 00:01:14,837 He makes the sipping lids for coffee cups. 28 00:01:14,867 --> 00:01:16,702 How do you do? So you're the guy 29 00:01:16,786 --> 00:01:18,162 who keeps burning my tongue. 30 00:01:18,329 --> 00:01:20,089 (Laughs) Of course you could just wait until 31 00:01:20,122 --> 00:01:21,225 it's a drinkable temperature. 32 00:01:21,249 --> 00:01:23,000 Well, that's true. That's true. 33 00:01:23,167 --> 00:01:25,836 Oh, don't look now, but nine o'clock, ex-hubby. 34 00:01:25,962 --> 00:01:27,546 - Selina: Oh. - Hey, I'm Andrew. 35 00:01:27,630 --> 00:01:29,006 - Selina: You see that tie? - Yeah. 36 00:01:29,090 --> 00:01:30,091 Selina: It's hideous. 37 00:01:30,174 --> 00:01:31,175 Horrendous. 38 00:01:31,259 --> 00:01:32,551 - Suits him. - Yeah, it does. 39 00:01:32,677 --> 00:01:34,262 Andrew meyer, dick on fire. 40 00:01:34,887 --> 00:01:36,597 The metal skeleton, 41 00:01:36,681 --> 00:01:38,891 you know, within the structure itself 42 00:01:38,975 --> 00:01:40,017 is useless, 43 00:01:40,101 --> 00:01:43,104 but then you put this black fabric 44 00:01:43,187 --> 00:01:44,814 hexagonal-shaped thing on it, 45 00:01:44,897 --> 00:01:46,482 and what do you have? An umbrella. 46 00:01:46,565 --> 00:01:49,125 And it's a winning team. And I like to think of it as a metaphor. 47 00:01:49,193 --> 00:01:51,487 You know, don't you think... yes? 48 00:01:51,570 --> 00:01:52,631 - Sorry to interrupt. - Yeah. 49 00:01:52,655 --> 00:01:54,282 There's been a shooting across town. 50 00:01:54,407 --> 00:01:55,408 - Oh, no. - Three dead. 51 00:01:55,491 --> 00:01:57,535 - One of them was Emily lafuente. - Oh. Wow. 52 00:01:57,618 --> 00:01:59,745 - Emily lafuente, the journalist? - Yes. 53 00:02:00,288 --> 00:02:03,582 She was a vicious bitch and a fuckin' drunk. 54 00:02:05,710 --> 00:02:06,877 But that's sad news. 55 00:02:06,961 --> 00:02:08,754 She was a pulitzer prize winner. 56 00:02:08,838 --> 00:02:10,798 You don't have to do the whispering. It's just me. 57 00:02:11,215 --> 00:02:13,775 - Oh. She was a pulitzer prize... okay. - I know, now, of course. 58 00:02:13,968 --> 00:02:15,594 - Ma'am. - Selina: Yeah. 59 00:02:15,678 --> 00:02:16,738 - There's been... - A shooting. Yeah. 60 00:02:16,762 --> 00:02:18,722 Where do you get your news, from a guy on a horse? 61 00:02:19,056 --> 00:02:20,808 Okay, so now what's gonna happen? 62 00:02:20,891 --> 00:02:24,478 Is this gonna completely overshadow my turville jobs announcement, or what? 63 00:02:24,562 --> 00:02:25,622 No, here's what we're gonna do. 64 00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:26,915 Mike, I want you to put out a statement 65 00:02:26,939 --> 00:02:29,608 about the shooting, okay? Not too wordy for once. Yeah? 66 00:02:29,734 --> 00:02:32,629 How about I just have the veep put her arms like in platoon and scream, "why?" 67 00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:33,654 Too wordy? 68 00:02:34,071 --> 00:02:35,114 Catherine: Okay, Dan, 69 00:02:35,197 --> 00:02:36,365 - do you have a minute? - Yes. 70 00:02:36,741 --> 00:02:39,744 You seem to be having me going to all these music awards. 71 00:02:39,827 --> 00:02:41,829 Nobody watches mtv anymore. 72 00:02:41,912 --> 00:02:43,914 I'm starting to feel like you're trying to hide me. 73 00:02:44,123 --> 00:02:46,059 Catherine, I can't send Mike and Ben to Coachella. 74 00:02:46,083 --> 00:02:47,335 But you, you know, you're hip. 75 00:02:47,418 --> 00:02:49,545 You're "deck," you know? 76 00:02:50,254 --> 00:02:51,422 Deck's a thing, right? 77 00:02:51,547 --> 00:02:52,840 Gary: Oh, ma'am... 78 00:02:53,132 --> 00:02:54,133 Oh, god. Minna hakkinen? 79 00:02:54,216 --> 00:02:56,844 Okay, remember her husband fondled your left breast? 80 00:02:56,927 --> 00:02:58,596 What do you think, I'm gonna forget that? 81 00:02:58,679 --> 00:03:01,265 - I've got a thumbprint there. - (Gary stammers) 82 00:03:01,474 --> 00:03:03,309 - Selina: Oh, oh! - Madam vice president. 83 00:03:03,726 --> 00:03:06,687 Oh, madam ex-prime minister of Finland. 84 00:03:06,771 --> 00:03:08,105 I do wonder 85 00:03:08,189 --> 00:03:10,232 why it is you are here. 86 00:03:10,316 --> 00:03:11,817 I am giving the keynote address, 87 00:03:11,901 --> 00:03:14,195 I am giving a talk on economics, the Finnish wilf... 88 00:03:14,278 --> 00:03:15,321 Uh, what? 89 00:03:15,404 --> 00:03:16,906 - It's "wolf." - Oh, hello. 90 00:03:17,448 --> 00:03:19,033 - The Finnish wolf. - Yes. 91 00:03:19,116 --> 00:03:20,117 And there is my book. 92 00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,536 - Oh, and what is that called? - The Finnish wilf. 93 00:03:22,620 --> 00:03:23,704 It's "wolf." 94 00:03:23,788 --> 00:03:25,748 - Yeah, I got it. You can go. - Okay. 95 00:03:25,831 --> 00:03:27,708 I am seeing other people walking around 96 00:03:27,792 --> 00:03:29,436 with the retractable ones, and that is what I would like. 97 00:03:29,460 --> 00:03:30,878 Sir, we only have them on lanyards. 98 00:03:30,961 --> 00:03:33,047 I understand that you only have them on lanyards. 99 00:03:33,130 --> 00:03:35,424 I want a lanyard with a retractable one. 100 00:03:35,841 --> 00:03:37,551 Do you have any idea who I am? 101 00:03:37,635 --> 00:03:39,011 Jonah, come here. 102 00:03:39,095 --> 00:03:41,656 You know, sometimes I feel like there's a nine-year-old boy inside of you 103 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:43,140 just operating the levers. 104 00:03:43,224 --> 00:03:44,993 Okay. Well, you see what I've got to deal with, right? 105 00:03:45,017 --> 00:03:46,644 I don't care. Photo op, tomorrow. 106 00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:48,312 Maddox, selina. Queensbury rules. 107 00:03:48,479 --> 00:03:49,939 Minimum four-second handshake. 108 00:03:50,022 --> 00:03:52,942 Minimum six-second handshake, and I want a toothy smile. 109 00:03:53,025 --> 00:03:55,569 Perfect. 'Cause we've got to prove they don't hate each other. 110 00:03:55,653 --> 00:03:58,030 - Absolutely. - Okay. And this is it. 111 00:03:58,114 --> 00:03:59,240 - This is it. - That's it. 112 00:03:59,323 --> 00:04:00,658 - This is it! - This is it. 113 00:04:02,076 --> 00:04:04,137 - Now, I don't want any funny business, Mike. - No funny business. 114 00:04:04,161 --> 00:04:05,413 - I'll keep an eye on you. - Oh. 115 00:04:05,496 --> 00:04:07,665 Did you see this? Look at this action. Ka-pow! 116 00:04:07,832 --> 00:04:10,668 This handshake is gonna show that there is no Maddox-meyer feud. Okay? 117 00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:13,671 And if there was, by the way, it would be a "meyer-Maddox" feud. 118 00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:16,298 Yeah, yeah. She would go first. That's right. 119 00:04:17,007 --> 00:04:20,553 So, Amy, how's not being campaign manager not working out for you? 120 00:04:21,929 --> 00:04:23,389 - Really, it's fine. - Hmm. 121 00:04:23,472 --> 00:04:26,308 Selina and I have developed such a good friendship over the years 122 00:04:26,392 --> 00:04:28,102 that she tells me everything, anyway. 123 00:04:28,269 --> 00:04:30,646 I never pegged you two as friends. 124 00:04:30,729 --> 00:04:32,815 You know, you always seem kind of tense around her. 125 00:04:33,149 --> 00:04:34,942 I look tense, 126 00:04:35,025 --> 00:04:36,861 because, yes... because I... 127 00:04:36,944 --> 00:04:38,304 Well, one, I have broad shoulders. 128 00:04:38,362 --> 00:04:39,947 And two, because... 129 00:04:40,030 --> 00:04:42,658 That's the job. The job is what makes me look tense. 130 00:04:42,741 --> 00:04:44,535 But underneath all the work tension, 131 00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:46,454 I'm really very relaxed. 132 00:04:46,537 --> 00:04:48,789 Have you heard about Emily lafuente? 133 00:04:48,873 --> 00:04:49,874 It is so awful. 134 00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:51,959 Such a tragic thing. 135 00:04:52,084 --> 00:04:54,503 I'm sorry to say, in your country you have too many guns. 136 00:04:54,879 --> 00:04:57,256 Way too many. But I think we have a little problem, 137 00:04:57,339 --> 00:04:58,819 and it's called the second amendment. 138 00:04:59,216 --> 00:05:01,260 People think it's their birthright, you see. 139 00:05:01,385 --> 00:05:02,887 To give guns to babies? 140 00:05:03,554 --> 00:05:05,014 Well, only in Arizona. 141 00:05:06,557 --> 00:05:07,659 - Minna, I've made a joke. - I know! 142 00:05:07,683 --> 00:05:11,520 And me also, I made a joke for giving the guns to the babies. 143 00:05:11,604 --> 00:05:14,190 Because I know you don't give the guns to the babies. 144 00:05:14,273 --> 00:05:15,483 No, of course not. 145 00:05:15,566 --> 00:05:17,043 - It would be dangerous. - Yeah. Bang! 146 00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:18,569 - No, it would be awful. No. - Awful. 147 00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:19,653 - Amy, Amy. - Amy: Yes? 148 00:05:19,737 --> 00:05:20,797 Ray's here. Ray's here. Did you know, 149 00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:22,541 - he practically fixed my shoulder. - I see. 150 00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:24,551 - Oh. - And he's not just a personal trainer, 151 00:05:24,575 --> 00:05:26,619 - he's like a personal Jesus. - Mmm. 152 00:05:26,702 --> 00:05:29,121 Maybe he could really help you with, you know, your... mmm... 153 00:05:29,205 --> 00:05:30,390 Well, really everything, actually. 154 00:05:30,414 --> 00:05:31,624 What are you talking about? 155 00:05:31,707 --> 00:05:34,210 I've been watching you. I see all of this tension. 156 00:05:34,293 --> 00:05:36,587 Where do you want to start, neck or spine? 157 00:05:37,004 --> 00:05:38,506 I could break both, if you'd like. 158 00:05:38,589 --> 00:05:39,798 All right, well. 159 00:05:40,132 --> 00:05:41,759 - I dig a challenge. - Yeah. 160 00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:43,302 Well, maybe you should 161 00:05:43,385 --> 00:05:45,185 work on North Korea first, get them to relax, 162 00:05:45,262 --> 00:05:47,306 - and then work your way up Amy. - (Amy chuckling) 163 00:05:48,140 --> 00:05:50,184 Minna hakkinen. 164 00:05:50,267 --> 00:05:51,769 The Finnish fox! 165 00:05:52,061 --> 00:05:53,479 - Wolf. - What? 166 00:05:53,562 --> 00:05:54,855 - Gary: It's "wolf." - Oh. 167 00:05:54,939 --> 00:05:55,981 Thank you, Gary. 168 00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:58,609 Are you part of "team veep?" 169 00:05:59,652 --> 00:06:02,029 Sure. Yeah, you and the veep been talking jobs? 170 00:06:02,446 --> 00:06:03,656 Actually, no. 171 00:06:03,739 --> 00:06:07,076 We were talking about the sad death of Emily lafuente. 172 00:06:07,159 --> 00:06:09,036 Just so sad. I hate murder. 173 00:06:09,119 --> 00:06:10,371 In fact, I agreed with selina 174 00:06:10,454 --> 00:06:12,206 that she said the second amendment you have, 175 00:06:12,289 --> 00:06:14,458 it's really a problem. You have far too many guns here. 176 00:06:14,583 --> 00:06:16,043 (Exclaims) Shut the fuck... 177 00:06:16,126 --> 00:06:18,128 She said that? 178 00:06:19,213 --> 00:06:20,297 Selina: Oh, god. 179 00:06:20,464 --> 00:06:24,885 I haven't bent this far since I was five centimeters dilated. 180 00:06:24,969 --> 00:06:26,929 And, good. Right leg is mine. Let's go. 181 00:06:27,012 --> 00:06:28,180 -Okay. 182 00:06:28,472 --> 00:06:30,724 Selina: (Gasps) Am I glowing? I feel like I'm glowing. 183 00:06:30,808 --> 00:06:32,369 Ray: How about we turn out the lights and see? 184 00:06:32,393 --> 00:06:33,954 - Can I trust you? - I don't know. Can you? 185 00:06:33,978 --> 00:06:35,354 (Selina laughing) 186 00:06:35,563 --> 00:06:36,605 All right. Turn it over. 187 00:06:36,689 --> 00:06:38,208 - Oh, no. - Ray: Come on. Almost there. 188 00:06:38,232 --> 00:06:39,650 And core. Give it, tight. 189 00:06:39,984 --> 00:06:40,985 (Selina grunting) 190 00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:42,736 Um... am I interrupting? 191 00:06:42,820 --> 00:06:43,821 What? No, not at all. 192 00:06:44,613 --> 00:06:47,992 Just need you to sign off on this statement for the murdered journalist, ma'am. 193 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:49,785 Emily lafuente... 194 00:06:49,868 --> 00:06:51,429 What? I can't read what that says. What does that say? 195 00:06:51,453 --> 00:06:52,788 "Lived life to the full." 196 00:06:52,871 --> 00:06:54,391 Selina: "And we will miss her distinct voice." 197 00:06:54,415 --> 00:06:55,624 Seems a bit stiff to me. 198 00:06:55,708 --> 00:06:57,835 - It does? Do you think? - Yeah. How about, uh, 199 00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:00,754 "when she wrote the world listened." 200 00:07:01,505 --> 00:07:02,505 Ooh, I like that. 201 00:07:02,548 --> 00:07:03,708 So, you want to go with that? 202 00:07:03,882 --> 00:07:05,259 - Yeah. - Yeah. 203 00:07:05,342 --> 00:07:06,342 Okay. 204 00:07:06,385 --> 00:07:07,571 - Thanks, Mike. - Selina: Thank you. 205 00:07:07,595 --> 00:07:08,655 Guess I can work with that. 206 00:07:08,679 --> 00:07:10,949 - How much more do I have to do? - Come on, I'll let you know. 207 00:07:10,973 --> 00:07:13,058 Mike: I guess ray is a media consultant part time. 208 00:07:13,892 --> 00:07:16,270 The entourage is getting way too big. 209 00:07:16,395 --> 00:07:19,356 We're only days away from an omelet chef and a piano tuner. 210 00:07:19,523 --> 00:07:21,483 - What are you doing? - Mike: Herjobs speech. 211 00:07:21,567 --> 00:07:22,693 Can I see? 212 00:07:24,862 --> 00:07:26,113 What is "marimba america?" 213 00:07:26,196 --> 00:07:28,907 Marimba, that alarm that's on your phone when you wake up. 214 00:07:28,991 --> 00:07:30,534 It's like, "wake up, america!" 215 00:07:30,618 --> 00:07:32,036 They don't give a shit. 216 00:07:32,119 --> 00:07:33,621 You need a sound bite. 217 00:07:33,704 --> 00:07:36,957 I wrote a sound bite once and had the entire crowd in tears. 218 00:07:37,041 --> 00:07:38,375 Even the police horses. 219 00:07:39,710 --> 00:07:41,879 - Yeah, touch this. Touch me right here. - Oh. 220 00:07:42,046 --> 00:07:44,465 - Ray. Nice work. - Seriously, isn't that incredible? 221 00:07:44,590 --> 00:07:45,859 - Ready, almost? - Here, Amy, touch this. 222 00:07:45,883 --> 00:07:47,152 - Selina: Feel. Touch this. - What I... 223 00:07:47,176 --> 00:07:49,178 - I don't want to... I can see... - No, touch it. 224 00:07:49,261 --> 00:07:50,864 - Gary: Look at that. - That's nice, ma'am. 225 00:07:50,888 --> 00:07:52,032 - Gary: Look at you. - (Selina humming) 226 00:07:52,056 --> 00:07:54,141 You're gonna do your own fitness video. 227 00:07:54,475 --> 00:07:56,310 I can improve your posture 6,000%. 228 00:07:56,393 --> 00:07:57,393 Gary: Oh, my god. 229 00:07:57,436 --> 00:07:59,556 Well, so can I. I can just take off my shoes. (Laughs) 230 00:07:59,730 --> 00:08:01,190 I don't give up. 231 00:08:01,273 --> 00:08:02,274 Gary, you're next. 232 00:08:02,358 --> 00:08:03,901 Ah. I'm ready to receive it. 233 00:08:04,234 --> 00:08:05,234 Got to get my oil. 234 00:08:05,277 --> 00:08:06,320 Ah! I love the oil. 235 00:08:06,403 --> 00:08:07,571 Sandalwood or chamomile? 236 00:08:07,655 --> 00:08:09,657 Wood, please. I'll do the wood. 237 00:08:10,324 --> 00:08:12,076 - Um, ame? - Yes? 238 00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:15,013 Can I talk to you really quick, just friend to friend, just for a second? 239 00:08:15,037 --> 00:08:17,597 Amy: I like to think of us as friends sometimes, too. (Chuckling) 240 00:08:18,248 --> 00:08:20,101 I spend more time with you than any of my other friends. 241 00:08:20,125 --> 00:08:21,168 That technically makes you 242 00:08:21,251 --> 00:08:22,670 my best friend. 243 00:08:22,753 --> 00:08:23,796 What do you think of ray? 244 00:08:25,297 --> 00:08:28,592 I think that he is an effective temporary hire. 245 00:08:28,801 --> 00:08:30,594 I think he's kind of cute. Do you? 246 00:08:30,719 --> 00:08:32,846 Yeah. Yeah, he's very cute. 247 00:08:32,930 --> 00:08:33,931 We're fucking. 248 00:08:34,098 --> 00:08:35,099 Uh-huh... 249 00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:39,478 Don't worry. I can, uh, get rid of that 250 00:08:39,561 --> 00:08:41,814 in a matter of an hour. 251 00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:43,869 - No, no, no. - The chicken's off the menu. 252 00:08:43,941 --> 00:08:45,984 What? No. (Stuttering) 253 00:08:46,068 --> 00:08:47,308 I don't want to get rid of him. 254 00:08:47,361 --> 00:08:49,363 Why do you think I would want to get rid of him? 255 00:08:49,905 --> 00:08:52,866 Um... because you want to be president? 256 00:08:53,117 --> 00:08:56,328 Well, I mean, I can get rid of him then. 257 00:08:56,412 --> 00:08:58,247 I guess. I just wanted you to know. 258 00:08:58,330 --> 00:09:00,207 But I don't want anybody else to know, okay? 259 00:09:00,290 --> 00:09:01,792 Especially Dan. Oh, my god. 260 00:09:02,084 --> 00:09:05,629 No, no, 'cause he'll be, "oh, a crisis. I need a third iPad." 261 00:09:05,713 --> 00:09:07,423 Dan: We need to get her on stage faster. 262 00:09:08,173 --> 00:09:10,050 I don't know. Use ajet pack. Hold on. 263 00:09:10,134 --> 00:09:12,094 Mike, why would you send me this shit? 264 00:09:12,469 --> 00:09:16,181 I mean, you might as well have just sat on the fuckin' keyboard and sent me that. 265 00:09:16,265 --> 00:09:17,266 I wrote it. 266 00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:22,479 I mean, well, it's got some good bits. We just got to tweak it a little. 267 00:09:22,688 --> 00:09:25,274 Yes, yes, she's got to get off the stage fast too. 268 00:09:25,357 --> 00:09:27,234 Well, stick her in a Cannon. I don't know. 269 00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:30,738 So, Gary, 270 00:09:30,821 --> 00:09:32,614 you know how when a trainer 271 00:09:32,698 --> 00:09:35,409 and a vice president love each other very much? 272 00:09:35,492 --> 00:09:36,577 They're having sex. 273 00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:39,246 - Oh, you know. Ah. - Yeah, I figured it out. 274 00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:41,290 I mean, look at him, you know? Look at her! 275 00:09:41,373 --> 00:09:43,093 - My god. - What are you guys talking about? 276 00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:45,294 - The jobs speech. - Yeah. 277 00:09:45,419 --> 00:09:46,920 Oh, selina and ray fucking? 278 00:09:47,004 --> 00:09:48,714 - Yeah. - Yeah, I thought so. 279 00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:50,382 Well, watch and learn. 280 00:09:50,549 --> 00:09:53,010 Hey, Mrs. Meyer. 281 00:09:53,510 --> 00:09:54,845 So turville industries 282 00:09:55,345 --> 00:09:56,680 got a big jobs announcement? 283 00:09:56,764 --> 00:09:57,765 Selina: Yeah. Ben! 284 00:09:57,848 --> 00:10:01,101 Can we slap another restraining order on this creepy bellboy? 285 00:10:01,185 --> 00:10:02,185 Ben: No problem. 286 00:10:02,227 --> 00:10:04,107 Dan: See that? Ben: Or how about a drone strike? 287 00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:08,817 I don't know what you said to her, but I'm going to find out. 288 00:10:08,901 --> 00:10:09,943 You did this? 289 00:10:10,027 --> 00:10:12,070 Oh, come on, we all know Andrew's terrible for her. 290 00:10:12,154 --> 00:10:13,405 So I sourced ray. 291 00:10:13,489 --> 00:10:14,698 He's her new chew toy. 292 00:10:14,782 --> 00:10:16,492 You're a sex trafficker now. 293 00:10:16,575 --> 00:10:18,744 - How low can you go? - Well, however low it is, Amy, 294 00:10:18,827 --> 00:10:20,305 - I'm still higher than you. - (Amy scoffs) 295 00:10:20,329 --> 00:10:22,873 Okay, listen. I'm not saying ray is good enough for selina. 296 00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:25,042 I'm just saying I really, really like ray. 297 00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:26,877 We know. You're ray-curious. 298 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:28,440 Okay, I don't know what that's about. 299 00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:30,130 (Crowd shouting) 300 00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:32,800 Ben: So, ray, is it? 301 00:10:32,883 --> 00:10:34,593 First economic summit, huh? 302 00:10:34,843 --> 00:10:35,843 I get it. 303 00:10:35,886 --> 00:10:39,556 "Muscle Mary don't not understand smart-guy world, huh?" 304 00:10:40,933 --> 00:10:42,577 Sorry, I didn't mean to strike a nerve there. 305 00:10:42,601 --> 00:10:45,187 You didn't strike a nerve. I'm just saying. 306 00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:47,999 Because you're in shape doesn't mean you don't know 307 00:10:48,023 --> 00:10:50,692 that "imf" means "international money fund." 308 00:10:50,776 --> 00:10:51,860 "Monetary." 309 00:10:51,944 --> 00:10:53,070 Close. 310 00:10:53,737 --> 00:10:55,197 Male protestor: No big business! 311 00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:56,949 No big business! 312 00:10:57,199 --> 00:10:58,593 Selina: Why are we coming in this way? 313 00:10:58,617 --> 00:11:00,137 This is the entrance that they wanted. 314 00:11:00,244 --> 00:11:02,180 - Selina: Kent? - Ma'am, after this job announcement, 315 00:11:02,204 --> 00:11:06,250 your approval rating will soar like a balloon slipped from a child's hand. 316 00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:07,334 The thing is that I... 317 00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:08,457 I'll buy you for a dollar! 318 00:11:09,837 --> 00:11:10,838 (All shouting) 319 00:11:10,963 --> 00:11:12,190 Gary: Oh, my god! Dan: Oh, my god! 320 00:11:12,214 --> 00:11:13,757 Stay small, selina! 321 00:11:13,924 --> 00:11:15,175 (All shouting) 322 00:11:15,259 --> 00:11:17,179 - Guard: Go, go, go! - My hair! My hair! My hair! 323 00:11:17,511 --> 00:11:19,179 Guard: To the car! To the car! 324 00:11:19,513 --> 00:11:21,139 (Selina screaming) 325 00:11:23,559 --> 00:11:24,560 (All shouting) 326 00:11:24,643 --> 00:11:25,853 Gary: Where the fuck is she? 327 00:11:25,936 --> 00:11:28,355 - Mike: It's okay, she's out! - Holy shit, you dick! 328 00:11:28,772 --> 00:11:30,858 Give me your fuckin' gun! I'll shoot his balls off! 329 00:11:30,941 --> 00:11:32,109 Breathe, breathe. Stop it! 330 00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:34,486 - Oh, god. - Who's okay? Are you okay? 331 00:11:34,570 --> 00:11:37,197 - Yes, I'm fine. That fucking guy! - Do you have pain? 332 00:11:37,322 --> 00:11:39,032 The vice president is fine. 333 00:11:39,116 --> 00:11:40,760 Hey, wait a minute. We've got to stop the car. 334 00:11:40,784 --> 00:11:41,928 I've got 7,000 jobs to announce. 335 00:11:41,952 --> 00:11:43,054 We can't let you do that, ma'am. 336 00:11:43,078 --> 00:11:45,014 Yeah, you can let me do that. I got to do it. It's... 337 00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:47,791 Uh, catherinejust did what any good daughter would do. 338 00:11:47,875 --> 00:11:50,210 - What? - You punched that motherfucker. 339 00:11:50,294 --> 00:11:52,129 You punched that guy square in the face. 340 00:11:53,589 --> 00:11:54,923 No, I hate violence. 341 00:11:55,007 --> 00:11:58,260 Well, honey, that means you're really good at it and you didn't even know it. 342 00:11:59,928 --> 00:12:00,971 All: Oh! 343 00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:03,807 Ray: What reflexes! 344 00:12:04,182 --> 00:12:05,851 (All cheering) 345 00:12:07,185 --> 00:12:08,979 Oh, my god! 346 00:12:09,521 --> 00:12:11,106 I should have done more. I'm so sorry. 347 00:12:11,189 --> 00:12:12,357 - I should have... - Oh. Okay. 348 00:12:12,441 --> 00:12:14,043 I could have just flung myself right in front of you. 349 00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:15,962 Now I feel like you're attacking me. It's kind of irritating. 350 00:12:15,986 --> 00:12:17,487 Okay, just back off. 351 00:12:17,988 --> 00:12:19,268 Catherine is taking an ice bath. 352 00:12:19,323 --> 00:12:20,758 - Selina: Yeah, Catherine's fine. - Good, good. 353 00:12:20,782 --> 00:12:22,367 Amy: And the fate of the protestor 354 00:12:22,451 --> 00:12:24,328 is unknown at this time. 355 00:12:24,703 --> 00:12:25,983 Amy: Yeah. Selina: You know what? 356 00:12:26,163 --> 00:12:27,891 My schedule's gonna be completely fucked up now. 357 00:12:27,915 --> 00:12:29,124 Now, you've got to call sue. 358 00:12:29,207 --> 00:12:30,292 - You got it. - My neck... 359 00:12:30,375 --> 00:12:32,711 I need your fingers on my neck, ray. 360 00:12:32,836 --> 00:12:34,171 (Phone ringing) 361 00:12:34,671 --> 00:12:35,923 Miss Wilson's phone. 362 00:12:36,006 --> 00:12:37,799 - Kent, is that you? - Well, I am everywhere. 363 00:12:37,883 --> 00:12:40,010 Can you not hear me singing in the wires? 364 00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:43,221 Okay, I think Kent is high. 365 00:12:43,305 --> 00:12:44,532 - Listen, yeah. - Selina: Really? 366 00:12:44,556 --> 00:12:46,683 I'm passing you to Susan now. Stand by. 367 00:12:47,351 --> 00:12:48,685 - Hello. - Sue? 368 00:12:49,519 --> 00:12:51,146 Ah, Mr. Davison has important news. 369 00:12:51,229 --> 00:12:52,498 I'm passing you to him right now. 370 00:12:52,522 --> 00:12:54,900 Jesus Christ. What is going on between you two? 371 00:12:55,025 --> 00:12:57,277 You and a telephone. 372 00:12:57,361 --> 00:13:00,155 We have a negative influx, narratively speaking. 373 00:13:00,364 --> 00:13:02,175 Dan: Your numbers are gonna rocket after this, ma'am. 374 00:13:02,199 --> 00:13:03,241 Ben: No, they're not. 375 00:13:04,409 --> 00:13:06,453 "There are way too many guns. 376 00:13:06,536 --> 00:13:08,538 "The second amendment is a problem." 377 00:13:09,539 --> 00:13:10,832 Ma'am, did you say this? 378 00:13:10,916 --> 00:13:12,876 - Dan: What? - No. 379 00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:14,562 Selina: What the hell are you talking about? 380 00:13:14,586 --> 00:13:17,255 Why would I say something so fucking stupid? 381 00:13:18,048 --> 00:13:19,424 Minna hakkinen says you did. 382 00:13:19,508 --> 00:13:21,927 - Why would... - She just kicked us off the fuckin' cliff. 383 00:13:22,010 --> 00:13:24,096 - What? What? - What the fuck is her problem? 384 00:13:24,179 --> 00:13:25,180 That... 385 00:13:25,263 --> 00:13:27,474 Finnish fart! 386 00:13:27,599 --> 00:13:28,785 - Ma'am... - Selina: What? I don't know. 387 00:13:28,809 --> 00:13:30,310 Maybe I did say that to her. 388 00:13:30,394 --> 00:13:33,438 But there was no reason for her to be talking about it. 389 00:13:33,522 --> 00:13:35,482 Do you realize what you've done? 390 00:13:35,565 --> 00:13:36,692 You just picked a fight 391 00:13:36,775 --> 00:13:40,070 with the jumpiest hundred million people I can possibly think of. 392 00:13:40,195 --> 00:13:41,488 Mike: Do we have to talk guns? 393 00:13:41,571 --> 00:13:42,882 I wish we were still on abortion. 394 00:13:42,906 --> 00:13:44,366 That was easy. 395 00:13:44,449 --> 00:13:45,575 Ben: Fuck. 396 00:13:45,993 --> 00:13:47,178 We've got to blow away this gun issue 397 00:13:47,202 --> 00:13:50,163 before we can do anything about a jobs speech. 398 00:13:50,247 --> 00:13:51,957 And we still have the Maddox handshake. 399 00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:53,040 I'm not doing that. 400 00:13:53,083 --> 00:13:55,293 That's out of the... I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it! 401 00:13:55,377 --> 00:13:57,754 If you don't do the handshake, it's gonna be a big 402 00:13:57,838 --> 00:13:59,232 you know, "who snubbed who" shit storm, 403 00:13:59,256 --> 00:14:01,174 that's big enough to shut down an airport. 404 00:14:01,258 --> 00:14:02,676 I'm done with this. 405 00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:04,886 I've had it. I need r&r. 406 00:14:04,970 --> 00:14:07,347 - I need rest. I need "ray-creation." - Yes you do. Yes. 407 00:14:07,639 --> 00:14:08,682 Selina: Just had it. 408 00:14:08,765 --> 00:14:10,100 Yeah, I just... 409 00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:11,226 I'm wiped, you know? 410 00:14:14,771 --> 00:14:15,939 Kids, 411 00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:19,317 can we all just agree here that selina's fucking ray? 412 00:14:19,401 --> 00:14:21,111 I mean, only a moron couldn't see that. 413 00:14:21,194 --> 00:14:23,280 Selina and ray are fucking? 414 00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:26,116 Sue: I'm still on speaker here. 415 00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:27,868 And so is Mr. Davison. 416 00:14:27,951 --> 00:14:29,453 - Kent: Hello again. - Shit. 417 00:14:30,954 --> 00:14:32,223 Selina: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. 418 00:14:32,247 --> 00:14:33,999 Oh, my god, my hair's caught in the desk. 419 00:14:34,124 --> 00:14:35,542 Wait, what is this on my forehead? 420 00:14:35,625 --> 00:14:37,103 Ray: It's the imprint of the bathmat. 421 00:14:37,127 --> 00:14:38,503 Selina: It is? Really? Ray: Yes! 422 00:14:38,587 --> 00:14:41,339 God, this is so humiliating. 423 00:14:41,423 --> 00:14:44,259 In years to come, a therapist will have me acting this out with dolls. 424 00:14:44,342 --> 00:14:45,802 Gary: I always hated that. 425 00:14:45,969 --> 00:14:48,221 - Oh. - I just want to check that mom's okay. 426 00:14:48,305 --> 00:14:50,015 And about her big jobs announcement? 427 00:14:50,098 --> 00:14:51,367 There's something she needs to know. 428 00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:52,827 - She's asleep. - She's practicing her speech. 429 00:14:52,851 --> 00:14:53,935 I'm sorry? 430 00:14:54,770 --> 00:14:57,272 Mom, all of this stuff Dan has me doing, really? 431 00:14:57,355 --> 00:15:00,525 I throw one punch, and all of a sudden I am "america's next top redneck." 432 00:15:00,609 --> 00:15:01,651 Mom! 433 00:15:01,985 --> 00:15:03,653 Catherine, what is it, honey? 434 00:15:03,737 --> 00:15:05,506 - I'm in the middle of working on... - What's with your hair? 435 00:15:05,530 --> 00:15:06,823 It's all messy. 436 00:15:07,491 --> 00:15:08,658 Oh, my god. 437 00:15:08,992 --> 00:15:09,992 What? 438 00:15:10,035 --> 00:15:11,244 That is not your shoe. 439 00:15:11,328 --> 00:15:13,497 So what? What difference does it... 440 00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:14,581 Hey. 441 00:15:15,165 --> 00:15:16,165 You must be Andrew. 442 00:15:16,208 --> 00:15:18,085 And you must be kidding. 443 00:15:18,168 --> 00:15:20,587 No, I'm ray. I'm selina's wellness advisor. 444 00:15:20,670 --> 00:15:22,964 And now what? The pilates made your shirt fly off? 445 00:15:23,048 --> 00:15:24,688 You do need to put some clothes on, okay? 446 00:15:25,133 --> 00:15:26,293 Catherine: Mom, not the help. 447 00:15:26,343 --> 00:15:27,677 Jesus, that's tacky. 448 00:15:28,053 --> 00:15:30,615 What's with the patronizing? I've got two gyms and a shake business. 449 00:15:30,639 --> 00:15:31,639 Yeah. 450 00:15:31,681 --> 00:15:34,851 Have you no dignity, or do you order that in as well? 451 00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:36,853 Oh, wow! 452 00:15:37,312 --> 00:15:38,772 - Unbelievable! - Andrew: Is it? 453 00:15:38,855 --> 00:15:41,274 Okay, everybody is very tired, it was a long day. 454 00:15:41,358 --> 00:15:42,984 Nobody likes sex, let's disperse. 455 00:15:43,068 --> 00:15:45,654 And there is a jazz trio downstairs that's fantastic. 456 00:15:45,737 --> 00:15:47,239 - Who likes jazz? - I love jazz. 457 00:15:47,322 --> 00:15:49,032 Kenny g can blow the storm up. 458 00:15:49,116 --> 00:15:50,867 Great. I was talking about the others. 459 00:15:50,951 --> 00:15:52,869 We are going to need a bigger hallway. 460 00:15:53,578 --> 00:15:55,413 Oh, my god, it's the Finnish funnel mouth. 461 00:15:55,497 --> 00:15:58,416 - Madam vice president. - Madam ex-prime minister. 462 00:15:58,500 --> 00:15:59,500 Hello. 463 00:15:59,543 --> 00:16:02,087 I wish to express my deepest 464 00:16:02,170 --> 00:16:04,923 and most profound regret for what happened today. 465 00:16:05,090 --> 00:16:06,383 - Right. - There is, 466 00:16:06,508 --> 00:16:09,010 on your team, a leaking gentleman. 467 00:16:09,094 --> 00:16:10,137 What? Who? 468 00:16:10,220 --> 00:16:11,280 - On your team. - Who on my team? 469 00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:12,722 I don't know his name, 470 00:16:12,806 --> 00:16:14,182 but he is like 471 00:16:14,266 --> 00:16:19,354 in central Europe there is a bad companion for Santa claus. 472 00:16:19,437 --> 00:16:22,440 He comes on Christmas and if the children are naughty, 473 00:16:22,524 --> 00:16:24,651 he takes away the presents. 474 00:16:24,734 --> 00:16:25,777 Rudolph. 475 00:16:25,944 --> 00:16:28,363 No, no. It's like a man, 476 00:16:28,446 --> 00:16:29,698 but it's very tall. 477 00:16:29,781 --> 00:16:30,782 -Jonah! 4tsjonah. 478 00:16:30,907 --> 00:16:32,385 - Oh, it's Jonah? - He's not on our team. 479 00:16:32,409 --> 00:16:33,827 At all. No. 480 00:16:34,411 --> 00:16:35,662 I am so sorry. 481 00:16:35,745 --> 00:16:38,373 But I would like you to understand 482 00:16:38,456 --> 00:16:41,251 that in my country, politics is a lot more honest. 483 00:16:41,459 --> 00:16:44,254 In your country, people fuck snow. 484 00:16:44,921 --> 00:16:46,131 And I hope you understand 485 00:16:46,214 --> 00:16:48,383 that I say that with the utmost respect. 486 00:16:48,466 --> 00:16:49,926 (Stammering) 487 00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:51,845 I'm under enormous pressure 488 00:16:51,928 --> 00:16:54,681 having been attacked by the statue of Liberty, 489 00:16:54,764 --> 00:16:55,764 earlier this day... 490 00:16:55,807 --> 00:16:56,933 No, no. 491 00:16:58,101 --> 00:16:59,477 - I am so sorry. - Thank you. Yes. 492 00:16:59,561 --> 00:17:00,621 - Thank you. - Good night. Good night. 493 00:17:00,645 --> 00:17:03,690 Good night. And my room is just next door. 494 00:17:03,773 --> 00:17:04,774 Oh, great. 495 00:17:04,858 --> 00:17:08,236 I want for your comfort to make you aware that today I purchased ear pligs. 496 00:17:08,320 --> 00:17:09,404 - Ear plugs. - Ear plugs. 497 00:17:09,487 --> 00:17:10,530 Oh, ear plugs. Okay. 498 00:17:10,614 --> 00:17:13,408 - Not every country likes to eavesdrop. - (Ray laughs) 499 00:17:13,950 --> 00:17:14,950 Yes. 500 00:17:14,993 --> 00:17:17,370 - No, it's a joke. Finnish joke. - Yeah, it's a good one. 501 00:17:17,454 --> 00:17:18,455 No, we got it. 502 00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:19,831 - Sweet dreams. - Sweet dreams. 503 00:17:21,166 --> 00:17:22,500 Okay. 504 00:17:23,668 --> 00:17:24,753 Who needs what? 505 00:17:24,836 --> 00:17:25,962 You go first. 506 00:17:26,046 --> 00:17:28,048 Well, to begin with, I was coming to talk to you 507 00:17:28,131 --> 00:17:29,984 about the fact that Dan has me doing all these... 508 00:17:30,008 --> 00:17:32,177 Great. You must now go and speak with Dan, not to me. 509 00:17:32,636 --> 00:17:33,637 Next. 510 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:35,555 I came up... you know what? 511 00:17:35,639 --> 00:17:36,973 Forget it. 512 00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:40,101 - Music to my ears, Andrew. - Yeah, yeah. 513 00:17:43,063 --> 00:17:44,397 - Try these perch balls. - Ooh. 514 00:17:44,481 --> 00:17:45,565 Catherine: Dan? 515 00:17:45,649 --> 00:17:49,069 I am not going to talk to radio stations that have eagles in the logo 516 00:17:49,152 --> 00:17:50,904 or call themselves the "voice of reason." 517 00:17:52,072 --> 00:17:53,240 Selina: Yes, let me... 518 00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:54,967 - Ah. Ma'am... - Selina: Hold on a second. 519 00:17:54,991 --> 00:17:56,469 We're reaching out to the gun lobby right now. 520 00:17:56,493 --> 00:17:57,970 Mike has written a speech that I think 521 00:17:57,994 --> 00:17:59,579 should neutralize the entire issue. 522 00:17:59,663 --> 00:18:00,664 Ninth draft. 523 00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:03,250 Uh, great. Okay, everybody listen up. 524 00:18:03,708 --> 00:18:06,795 Ray has got kind of a fabulous idea, I think. Go. 525 00:18:07,295 --> 00:18:09,923 The vice president goes to a gun show. 526 00:18:10,799 --> 00:18:12,008 - What? - What? 527 00:18:12,509 --> 00:18:14,261 You mean the Wayne county gun fair, ma'am? 528 00:18:14,344 --> 00:18:15,613 - Yes. That's the one. - That's the one. 529 00:18:15,637 --> 00:18:16,637 Good for you, sue. 530 00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:18,682 - This is a gun show for women. - That's right. 531 00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:20,485 Women with guns are less threatening, ma'am. 532 00:18:20,558 --> 00:18:23,019 Yeah, exactly, because they're not nutjobs. 533 00:18:23,103 --> 00:18:24,312 Case in point, by the way. 534 00:18:24,396 --> 00:18:26,523 This could be good, "feminism reloaded." 535 00:18:27,023 --> 00:18:28,316 There's no time. 536 00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:30,336 Sue: No, there is time, Dan. You can do this, ma 'am. 537 00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:31,420 We'll have to push the speech back 538 00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:33,238 30 minutes. So you'll need to be fast. 539 00:18:33,321 --> 00:18:35,532 Yeah, fine. I can be fast. (Giggles) 540 00:18:36,032 --> 00:18:38,243 Well, I'm not going to a fucking gun show. 541 00:18:38,702 --> 00:18:41,162 Uh, well, yes, you are going to a "fucking gun show," 542 00:18:41,246 --> 00:18:43,015 even if I have to put a gun to your fucking head. 543 00:18:43,039 --> 00:18:44,416 Dan: Okay, we can make this work. 544 00:18:44,499 --> 00:18:47,127 We do shake, show, speech all in 90 minutes. 545 00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:48,670 You know what? Today is the day 546 00:18:48,753 --> 00:18:50,714 that selina meyer's campaign begins. 547 00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:52,066 - You say that once a week. - (All clapping) 548 00:18:52,090 --> 00:18:53,425 We're gonna need road maps. 549 00:18:53,508 --> 00:18:54,968 Scramble 30 extra cops, 550 00:18:55,051 --> 00:18:56,303 tell my mother to push 551 00:18:56,386 --> 00:18:58,805 the weekly call to Wednesday and let's plan this beast. 552 00:18:59,097 --> 00:19:01,391 - Oh. We're gonna need cookies, too. - (Sue laughs) 553 00:19:02,058 --> 00:19:03,101 (Talking indistinctly) 554 00:19:03,184 --> 00:19:04,870 Selina: I can't hold this. Mike: You ready, ma'am? 555 00:19:04,894 --> 00:19:07,039 Yeah, but he's on my good side. I need to be on that side. 556 00:19:07,063 --> 00:19:08,082 No, that is your good side. 557 00:19:08,106 --> 00:19:10,483 Why can't you ever remember what my good side is? 558 00:19:10,567 --> 00:19:11,651 No, this... 559 00:19:11,735 --> 00:19:12,944 - Selina: Hey, George. - Hey. 560 00:19:13,028 --> 00:19:14,630 - Do you mind if I stand here? - Madam vice president. 561 00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:15,655 Sure, sure, go ahead. 562 00:19:15,739 --> 00:19:17,032 - Great. - How are you doing? 563 00:19:17,115 --> 00:19:18,275 I was really, really worried. 564 00:19:18,325 --> 00:19:19,326 Don't be worried. 565 00:19:19,409 --> 00:19:21,012 - Have you been fishing? - Doing a little bit. 566 00:19:21,036 --> 00:19:22,836 You know, I'm trying to reel that big one in. 567 00:19:22,912 --> 00:19:24,289 - Fantastic. - Yeah. 568 00:19:25,248 --> 00:19:26,892 You know, ma'am, I think we need to get going 569 00:19:26,916 --> 00:19:28,644 - okay, guys, that's it. - Okay, got to go. I'll see you... 570 00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:31,254 Three, two, one... boom! 571 00:19:31,379 --> 00:19:32,419 (Camera shutters clicking) 572 00:19:34,382 --> 00:19:36,968 Okay, that's it. Okay, show's over, all right? 573 00:19:37,093 --> 00:19:38,928 You got your tiffs and your jpegs. No more. 574 00:19:39,137 --> 00:19:40,430 (Sirens wailing) 575 00:19:41,765 --> 00:19:43,224 Amy: "Veep's campaign needs 576 00:19:43,308 --> 00:19:44,726 - "a helping hand." - Dan: Jesus. 577 00:19:45,101 --> 00:19:47,729 How the fuck do you screw up a handshake, Mike? 578 00:19:47,812 --> 00:19:49,022 It's four fingers and a thumb. 579 00:19:49,105 --> 00:19:51,316 Jonah had a good idea. We never planned for that. 580 00:19:51,399 --> 00:19:52,734 Yeah, great hand job, pal. 581 00:19:52,817 --> 00:19:54,110 Okay, you guys, 582 00:19:54,194 --> 00:19:55,445 can we calm down? 583 00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:57,697 We're about to go to a roomful of guns. 584 00:19:57,781 --> 00:20:00,033 I don't think we're exactly in the right headspace. 585 00:20:00,116 --> 00:20:01,552 - Yeah. That's... - That's a good point. 586 00:20:01,576 --> 00:20:02,869 Selina: Oh, yeah, we are! 587 00:20:02,952 --> 00:20:04,204 Oh, yeah! 588 00:20:04,829 --> 00:20:05,830 You're gonna be great. 589 00:20:06,289 --> 00:20:08,249 All right, shut your mouth and then shut the road. 590 00:20:08,333 --> 00:20:10,043 And if you don't like my tone, 591 00:20:10,126 --> 00:20:12,212 you're really not going to like Guantanamo bay. 592 00:20:12,295 --> 00:20:14,172 Eta, 3.9 minutes. 593 00:20:14,881 --> 00:20:17,008 Okay, ma'am, you need to be conservative and liberal. 594 00:20:17,092 --> 00:20:18,092 - Okay? - What? 595 00:20:18,134 --> 00:20:20,220 - So, look at guns, but don't touch guns. - Oh, god. 596 00:20:20,303 --> 00:20:22,555 You know what? Don't even say the word "gun." 597 00:20:22,639 --> 00:20:24,359 Use words like "protection" or "assurance." 598 00:20:24,391 --> 00:20:27,852 But in context. Don't say, "freeze, or I'll protect your fucking head off." 599 00:20:27,936 --> 00:20:29,080 - Yeah. - Madam vice president. 600 00:20:29,104 --> 00:20:31,272 - We're so glad you're okay. - Oh, I'm fine. 601 00:20:31,356 --> 00:20:34,275 Thanks for coming. It really means a lot to us "ladies who load." 602 00:20:34,651 --> 00:20:35,985 (Women cheering) 603 00:20:36,069 --> 00:20:37,070 Thank you. 604 00:20:37,529 --> 00:20:38,571 Oh, wow. 605 00:20:38,738 --> 00:20:41,074 Look at this well-defended picnic table. (Laughs) 606 00:20:41,157 --> 00:20:42,158 Yes. 607 00:20:42,242 --> 00:20:43,993 Covered in all these... 608 00:20:44,536 --> 00:20:45,787 Things that defend. 609 00:20:46,079 --> 00:20:48,164 And look at that one. It's so tiny. 610 00:20:49,290 --> 00:20:50,810 Okay, I'm going to tell you something so uncanny. 611 00:20:50,834 --> 00:20:54,295 This color is exactly Catherine's favorite color when she was a little girl. 612 00:20:54,629 --> 00:20:55,880 Look here, honey. 613 00:20:55,964 --> 00:20:58,758 Although this would not have been a good present for her, 614 00:20:58,842 --> 00:21:02,053 'cause she was a toddler with a temper. She was so mad. 615 00:21:02,679 --> 00:21:04,919 - I wasn't. I... - Just say you were mad. Doesn't matter. 616 00:21:04,973 --> 00:21:06,474 - These are, like, Tommy guns. - Yeah. 617 00:21:06,558 --> 00:21:07,767 Yeah, from an old-timey movie. 618 00:21:07,851 --> 00:21:10,171 - Don't you love the old-timey movies? - "Oh, don't shoot!" 619 00:21:10,687 --> 00:21:11,688 Could I get a selfie? 620 00:21:12,188 --> 00:21:14,107 Oh, absolutely. Of course you can. Yeah. 621 00:21:15,358 --> 00:21:16,359 What? Oh. 622 00:21:17,360 --> 00:21:18,671 - There you go. - Thank you. (Laughing) 623 00:21:18,695 --> 00:21:19,779 You got it, right? 624 00:21:19,863 --> 00:21:21,781 Perfect. Is it good? I hope it's good. 625 00:21:21,865 --> 00:21:23,259 We got to go. Come on, honey bunny. 626 00:21:23,283 --> 00:21:27,454 And this one is upside down, so, if you were doing a back bend or something... 627 00:21:27,537 --> 00:21:29,581 Someone's face is on a t-shirt. 628 00:21:29,664 --> 00:21:30,665 Are you kidding me? 629 00:21:32,041 --> 00:21:34,752 I wish my daughter could bust heads like you, young lady. 630 00:21:35,128 --> 00:21:36,296 Is that my face? 631 00:21:36,379 --> 00:21:38,882 Yeah, it is. Wow. 632 00:21:39,174 --> 00:21:40,758 She is not gonna like that. 633 00:21:40,842 --> 00:21:42,427 She's an adult. 634 00:21:42,510 --> 00:21:44,387 Are you talking about Catherine or selina? 635 00:21:44,596 --> 00:21:46,347 Amy: Thank you for showing us around. 636 00:21:46,431 --> 00:21:48,742 - On that note, though, I think we have to go. - "Make my day." 637 00:21:48,766 --> 00:21:50,244 Great. Thank you very much, everyone. 638 00:21:50,268 --> 00:21:52,148 All: (Chanting) Catherine! Catherine! Catherine! 639 00:21:52,437 --> 00:21:53,646 Selina: It's just one freaky 640 00:21:53,730 --> 00:21:55,106 - dyke after another. - Dan: Yeah. 641 00:21:55,398 --> 00:21:57,066 (Sirens wailing) 642 00:21:59,736 --> 00:22:01,237 All right. Go left on Jefferson. 643 00:22:01,821 --> 00:22:03,448 We fixed the traffic lights. 644 00:22:03,531 --> 00:22:05,950 We diverted a parade for Polish Americans. 645 00:22:06,075 --> 00:22:07,869 We've put more cops on the route. 646 00:22:07,952 --> 00:22:10,914 I've seen that part of town. There's nothing down there worth stealing. 647 00:22:14,709 --> 00:22:16,085 - Dad! - Andrew: Hi. Selina? 648 00:22:16,294 --> 00:22:18,213 Oh, my god. What is up with you? 649 00:22:18,296 --> 00:22:20,733 - Kitchen's closed. Okay? - No, this is about the turville jobs. 650 00:22:20,757 --> 00:22:21,917 What about the turville jobs? 651 00:22:21,966 --> 00:22:25,637 I've got some buddies on the board and I hear they are defaulting on their loans. 652 00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:27,347 They've got six months, tops. 653 00:22:28,640 --> 00:22:31,360 I would have told you last night, but you had Ray's cock in your ear. 654 00:22:31,434 --> 00:22:32,894 Wait a minute. Do you understand? 655 00:22:32,977 --> 00:22:35,897 I'm about to announce the 7,000 turville jobs. 656 00:22:35,980 --> 00:22:38,149 There won't be any in six months. 657 00:22:38,274 --> 00:22:40,252 - What am I supposed to do? - Mike: Talk about the gdp. 658 00:22:40,276 --> 00:22:41,528 Nobody knows what that means. 659 00:22:41,611 --> 00:22:43,251 - Do you know what that means? - Yes, I... 660 00:22:43,905 --> 00:22:45,508 - Okay, what? - I've got Kent on the phone. 661 00:22:45,532 --> 00:22:47,843 I think I put it on speaker, but I might have taken a photo instead. 662 00:22:47,867 --> 00:22:49,118 Give this to me. 663 00:22:49,202 --> 00:22:50,203 Hello? Hello? 664 00:22:50,286 --> 00:22:53,623 Kent: Good news. We've changed your speech to a friendly q&a 665 00:22:53,706 --> 00:22:55,625 with the host of the panel chair. 666 00:22:55,708 --> 00:22:56,709 - Oh. - Dan: Great. 667 00:22:56,793 --> 00:22:59,003 No need to announce the jobs that aren'tjobs. 668 00:22:59,087 --> 00:23:00,255 - Thank you, Kent. - Amy: Yay! 669 00:23:00,338 --> 00:23:01,422 Good to hear. 670 00:23:01,506 --> 00:23:03,526 Nobody's gonna ask a question about something they don't know. 671 00:23:03,550 --> 00:23:05,760 - Exactly right. - Okay. Well, that's a... 672 00:23:05,843 --> 00:23:07,595 Who's the panel chair, do we know? 673 00:23:07,679 --> 00:23:08,864 I don't know. I can look it up... 674 00:23:08,888 --> 00:23:11,140 Oh, my god. It's the big bad "wilf." 675 00:23:13,309 --> 00:23:14,352 (Sue sighs) 676 00:23:14,435 --> 00:23:16,980 That timetable was not a timetable. 677 00:23:17,063 --> 00:23:19,065 That was a poem. 678 00:23:19,357 --> 00:23:21,359 (Crowd applauding) 679 00:23:21,859 --> 00:23:23,027 - Hello. - Hello. 680 00:23:24,487 --> 00:23:25,863 Minna: Thank you very much. 681 00:23:25,947 --> 00:23:28,032 - Thank you very much. - Oh, thank you. 682 00:23:28,658 --> 00:23:31,703 It's so nice to be here with friends here. 683 00:23:31,786 --> 00:23:33,871 And, of course, a dear friend right next to me. 684 00:23:33,955 --> 00:23:35,540 Yes, we have met twice. 685 00:23:36,374 --> 00:23:38,418 - Sit down, please. - Yes. Thank you. 686 00:23:38,501 --> 00:23:39,502 Thank you. 687 00:23:40,503 --> 00:23:42,589 So I have been asked... 688 00:23:42,672 --> 00:23:45,258 No... told, is more accurate 689 00:23:45,341 --> 00:23:49,929 that I must mention that you have a very exciting announcement 690 00:23:50,013 --> 00:23:51,222 to make. 691 00:23:54,851 --> 00:23:55,935 You know, 692 00:23:56,019 --> 00:23:59,105 it's funny. I really today wanted to talk with you 693 00:23:59,188 --> 00:24:00,982 and our group here 694 00:24:01,065 --> 00:24:02,859 about the big picture. 695 00:24:03,818 --> 00:24:07,989 You know? The American landscape that we're all in today. 696 00:24:08,072 --> 00:24:10,472 That's sort of the conversation that I'm interested in having 697 00:24:10,533 --> 00:24:12,535 with you and with our friends. 698 00:24:12,702 --> 00:24:13,703 But there is also a very 699 00:24:13,786 --> 00:24:16,789 particular announcement that you wish to make? 700 00:24:16,873 --> 00:24:19,125 Yeah, but I really wanted to talk about 701 00:24:19,208 --> 00:24:23,212 the inspirational entrepreneurs I met. 702 00:24:23,296 --> 00:24:27,008 The men and women who are behind the umbrella skeleton. 703 00:24:27,091 --> 00:24:29,719 If you think about the engineering of it, 704 00:24:29,802 --> 00:24:32,930 it's a beautiful thing to behold, and it's something upon which we rely. 705 00:24:33,014 --> 00:24:34,783 Minna: It is written there, what you wish to say. 706 00:24:34,807 --> 00:24:36,643 Well, actually, speaking of writing... 707 00:24:36,726 --> 00:24:38,811 Now, I hope you don't mind my mentioning this, 708 00:24:38,895 --> 00:24:41,898 but you have written a book. Have you not? 709 00:24:42,023 --> 00:24:43,274 The Finnish wolf, 710 00:24:43,358 --> 00:24:46,194 which sounds quite intriguing. And I'm interested... 711 00:24:46,277 --> 00:24:47,957 I don't understand. Do you want me to make 712 00:24:47,987 --> 00:24:49,906 the announcement about turville industries? 713 00:24:50,073 --> 00:24:52,158 No, it's okay. Fine. Yeah. Um... 714 00:24:52,825 --> 00:24:55,328 Well, we formed a partnership with turville industries, 715 00:24:55,411 --> 00:24:57,372 and I'd like to announce 716 00:24:57,455 --> 00:25:00,416 that there are gonna be some new jobs in the Detroit area. 717 00:25:00,583 --> 00:25:02,585 (Crowd applauding) 718 00:25:04,379 --> 00:25:05,421 Yeah, but 719 00:25:05,505 --> 00:25:09,092 it's just one component in the overall picture. It's not a big deal 720 00:25:09,175 --> 00:25:10,176 in and of itself, 721 00:25:10,259 --> 00:25:11,636 just to be quite clear about it. 722 00:25:11,719 --> 00:25:12,887 Oh, no. No. 723 00:25:12,970 --> 00:25:15,056 It is 7,000 new jobs. 724 00:25:15,139 --> 00:25:16,224 That is 7,000... 725 00:25:16,474 --> 00:25:18,476 (Crowd applauding) 726 00:25:19,143 --> 00:25:20,603 Please, stand. Don't be so modest. 727 00:25:24,065 --> 00:25:25,709 I think that people will remember the names 728 00:25:25,733 --> 00:25:29,070 selina meyer and turville industries for a very long time. 729 00:25:33,157 --> 00:25:36,202 Well, if we kill everybody in the room then we might be okay. 730 00:25:36,285 --> 00:25:37,745 Yeah. Can I kill minna first? 731 00:25:37,829 --> 00:25:39,539 I stole a pistol from the gun show. 732 00:25:39,622 --> 00:25:41,582 You won't have lied for six months. 733 00:25:42,375 --> 00:25:44,919 Oh, that's true. I appreciate that point. Yeah. 734 00:25:45,002 --> 00:25:46,337 Hey, where is Dan? 735 00:25:46,462 --> 00:25:47,940 - Here. Right here. Yes, ma'am. - Dan? Okay. 736 00:25:47,964 --> 00:25:49,549 Why isn't Andrew on the team? 737 00:25:49,632 --> 00:25:50,800 He should be attached. 738 00:25:51,801 --> 00:25:54,387 That's an excellent point. I wanted Andrew in the entourage, 739 00:25:54,470 --> 00:25:56,110 - but Amy said... - Amy: Amy said nothing. 740 00:25:57,306 --> 00:25:58,307 So what up? 741 00:25:58,725 --> 00:26:00,309 You got it. Yes, ma'am. Sure. 742 00:26:00,393 --> 00:26:02,019 Guess "operation ray" failed, huh? 743 00:26:02,103 --> 00:26:04,143 Don't worry, I can write your statement. "I resign." 744 00:26:04,188 --> 00:26:05,773 Or is that too wordy? 745 00:26:05,857 --> 00:26:08,234 This is really nice, working together as a family. 746 00:26:08,317 --> 00:26:10,319 I actually enjoyed that gun show, you know? 747 00:26:10,403 --> 00:26:12,238 Once I got used to all the regular people 748 00:26:12,321 --> 00:26:14,041 and how fat they were, I really enjoyed it. 749 00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:16,993 - Obesity is a huge issue. Yeah? - Yeah, it absolutely is. It is. 750 00:26:18,578 --> 00:26:21,581 Um... that tie I like. 751 00:26:21,664 --> 00:26:23,708 That's better than yesterday's tie. 752 00:26:23,791 --> 00:26:25,001 You like music? 753 00:26:26,127 --> 00:26:28,254 I can't do this again, Amy. I'm all lied out. 754 00:26:28,337 --> 00:26:29,337 I mean, I can't. 755 00:26:29,380 --> 00:26:30,506 Selina: Very direct, Andrew. 756 00:26:30,590 --> 00:26:32,675 - Hey, ray. Can't go in there. - (Selina laughing) 757 00:26:32,967 --> 00:26:34,260 Yeah? And you can't do this. 758 00:26:34,677 --> 00:26:35,678 (Faint thud) 759 00:26:35,762 --> 00:26:36,947 Selina: Why are we on the couch? 760 00:26:36,971 --> 00:26:39,640 - Did she fall? - Hey, I'm gonna take that massage now, 761 00:26:39,724 --> 00:26:40,808 if you don't mind. 762 00:26:40,892 --> 00:26:43,019 - Um, but that way, yes? - Selina: That was quick. 763 00:26:43,186 --> 00:26:45,271 Andrew: I've been taking class in reflexology. 764 00:26:45,354 --> 00:26:47,482 Okay, I'll hold that. I got it. 765 00:26:47,565 --> 00:26:48,625 Selina: Andrew, what are you... 766 00:26:48,649 --> 00:26:49,649 Ray: Here's good. 767 00:26:49,692 --> 00:26:51,068 Right here, yeah. 768 00:26:51,152 --> 00:26:52,695 Ray: Just relax. Amy: Okay. 769 00:26:54,197 --> 00:26:55,615 Ray: Ah. How about there? 770 00:26:56,908 --> 00:26:58,534 Amy: Yeah, still nothing. 771 00:27:00,787 --> 00:27:03,581 You know, it's okay, it doesn't matter. It doesn't... (Gasps) 772 00:27:05,041 --> 00:27:06,709 Oh, my god! 773 00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:10,755 That's very good. 774 00:27:13,090 --> 00:27:14,342 (Amy moaning)