1 00:00:18,394 --> 00:00:20,563 Dan: We are in the ass of the hurricane. 2 00:00:20,646 --> 00:00:22,398 You may never meet her personally. 3 00:00:22,481 --> 00:00:25,193 She may never catch your eye or ever thank you, 4 00:00:25,276 --> 00:00:27,153 but selina meyer will never forget you. 5 00:00:27,278 --> 00:00:29,280 Kent: You are going to change america 6 00:00:29,447 --> 00:00:33,034 in a way that usually only war and fluoride can. 7 00:00:33,117 --> 00:00:34,577 She's gonna ask you for a chamomile. 8 00:00:34,660 --> 00:00:36,430 She doesn't want chamomile. She wants peppermint. 9 00:00:36,454 --> 00:00:39,457 Okay? She gets a little confused, but do not point it out. 10 00:00:39,624 --> 00:00:42,752 You guys are the chosen ones, all right? Not in a Jewish way, either. 11 00:00:42,835 --> 00:00:45,630 In a, like, selected from a very short list of 10 way. 12 00:00:45,755 --> 00:00:48,132 Some people say three microwaves is overkill. 13 00:00:48,216 --> 00:00:50,593 My response is always, tapas. 14 00:00:50,676 --> 00:00:52,595 And never, ever, ever fuck up. 15 00:00:52,678 --> 00:00:54,555 End of induction. Clear? 16 00:00:54,639 --> 00:00:57,308 Joe: Well, the old politics just is not working. 17 00:00:57,725 --> 00:01:00,978 I'm an American, and I aim to be a team player. 18 00:01:01,145 --> 00:01:04,899 Now, running the country isn't a whole heck of a lot different than running a team. 19 00:01:04,982 --> 00:01:07,151 It's just a few more people involved. 20 00:01:07,235 --> 00:01:09,445 What is our take on this one-dick pony? 21 00:01:09,528 --> 00:01:11,364 He's an ex-baseball manager. 22 00:01:11,697 --> 00:01:14,075 You know that saying, "anyone can run for president"? 23 00:01:14,158 --> 00:01:17,787 Joe thornhill is the only reason that that's utter bullshit. 24 00:01:17,912 --> 00:01:19,431 The United States is a team, 25 00:01:19,455 --> 00:01:21,499 and I wanna be your designated hitter. 26 00:01:21,791 --> 00:01:23,810 You know what? I've got to say something to these folks. 27 00:01:23,834 --> 00:01:24,919 Okay? 28 00:01:28,047 --> 00:01:29,674 Selina: What is that smell? 29 00:01:29,799 --> 00:01:31,175 What is that smell? 30 00:01:31,259 --> 00:01:33,427 I just put icy hot on my shoulder. 31 00:01:33,511 --> 00:01:34,988 - Oh, my god, it's so bad. - I'm so sorry. 32 00:01:35,012 --> 00:01:36,806 My nostrils feel like Vietnam. Okay. 33 00:01:36,973 --> 00:01:38,408 - Amy: You're still speaking? Yeah, ma'am? - Yes, I am. 34 00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:39,850 Selina: Oh, my goodness! 35 00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:43,437 What a journey we are about to begin. 36 00:01:43,521 --> 00:01:46,107 And how does a journey begin? 37 00:01:46,190 --> 00:01:48,276 With a first step. 38 00:01:48,359 --> 00:01:50,194 So, watch my foot. 39 00:01:50,278 --> 00:01:51,529 Boom! 40 00:01:52,029 --> 00:01:54,365 Mike: Genius! 41 00:01:54,699 --> 00:01:56,659 How about that? That Mike mclintock. 42 00:01:56,742 --> 00:01:58,494 He's our head of... 43 00:01:59,287 --> 00:02:01,580 Whoop. I don't know where he went, but... 44 00:02:01,831 --> 00:02:04,375 Let's do it, then. Yes! 45 00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:06,627 Where is Gary? Where's everyone running off to? 46 00:02:06,711 --> 00:02:08,355 Is this the beginning of the rapture or what? 47 00:02:08,379 --> 00:02:10,524 - I wouldn't give it a second thought. - I'm not, I was just asking. 48 00:02:10,548 --> 00:02:12,925 Okay. Here we are, ladies and gentlemen. We have liftoff. 49 00:02:13,009 --> 00:02:14,987 The rockets are lit. Let's get this baby in the air. 50 00:02:15,011 --> 00:02:17,930 - Show me something. - Show us the... the... what you got. 51 00:02:18,014 --> 00:02:20,254 Joe: I'm just an honest Joe, and I like to speak my mind. 52 00:02:20,308 --> 00:02:22,018 Yeah, boy. 53 00:02:22,101 --> 00:02:24,301 How much would I love to speak my mind on this campaign? 54 00:02:24,353 --> 00:02:25,813 Can you imagine if I did that? 55 00:02:25,896 --> 00:02:27,815 "Mississippi is chock-full of assholes." 56 00:02:27,898 --> 00:02:29,233 "I don't trust the Chinese." 57 00:02:29,317 --> 00:02:30,460 "I gotta tell you something... 58 00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:32,796 "I'm not gonna be able to pass a single piece of legislation 59 00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:36,032 "that's really gonna make any fuck of a difference in your life." 60 00:02:36,115 --> 00:02:38,034 - So how's that for my platform? - Got my vote. 61 00:02:38,117 --> 00:02:40,637 - Yeah, I got your vote. - Forget about him, all right? 62 00:02:40,703 --> 00:02:42,955 No, no, no. Concentrate on Maddox, not thornhill. 63 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:45,041 Maddox can walk without looking at his feet. 64 00:02:45,124 --> 00:02:49,045 Can we... thanks, ame. What about this luncheon with ericsson? 65 00:02:50,254 --> 00:02:53,507 I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing them. Come on. 66 00:02:53,591 --> 00:02:55,902 Look. Ericsson is the perfect campaign manager, okay? 67 00:02:55,926 --> 00:02:58,346 He's Amy without a conscience and he's Dan without the... 68 00:02:58,429 --> 00:03:00,222 The 5% that needs to be loved. 69 00:03:00,306 --> 00:03:01,849 - Okay? Come on. - I know. 70 00:03:02,433 --> 00:03:04,268 - Sue: Ma'am? - Yep, it's me. 71 00:03:04,477 --> 00:03:06,937 No, no. Don't look at me, please. Thank you. 72 00:03:07,021 --> 00:03:11,484 What time is the unofficial lunch that I am not having today? 73 00:03:11,567 --> 00:03:14,528 Yeah, it is not officially at 12:45. 74 00:03:14,612 --> 00:03:16,864 Thank you for not letting me know about anything at all. 75 00:03:16,947 --> 00:03:18,449 - Thank you. - Yeah. 76 00:03:28,292 --> 00:03:30,044 What are you doing, Gary? 77 00:03:30,127 --> 00:03:31,420 What's in the bag, Mike? 78 00:03:31,504 --> 00:03:33,047 You go first. 79 00:03:33,506 --> 00:03:35,216 I'm washing icy hot out of my shirt. 80 00:03:35,424 --> 00:03:38,094 - Of course. - Now it's your turn. 81 00:03:39,095 --> 00:03:41,430 I can't say. I gotta wash my hands. 82 00:03:41,597 --> 00:03:43,766 Oh, my god. 83 00:03:43,933 --> 00:03:46,394 Is that bag full of your fluids? 84 00:03:46,477 --> 00:03:49,772 Not the whole bag. A specimen cup full of little Mikes. 85 00:03:50,231 --> 00:03:53,234 Look, Wendy and I are trying ivf. 86 00:03:53,317 --> 00:03:54,985 We're on a very strict schedule. 87 00:03:55,069 --> 00:03:56,320 Please don't say anything. 88 00:03:56,445 --> 00:03:58,645 You're telling me the whole time I was washing my shirt, 89 00:03:58,697 --> 00:03:59,907 you were in there doing that? 90 00:04:00,032 --> 00:04:02,410 Mike: Jesus, Gary, grow up. 91 00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:05,746 All my "troops" are in a cold bag now, okay? 92 00:04:05,830 --> 00:04:07,182 I just gotta get them to the doctor 93 00:04:07,206 --> 00:04:09,333 so he can begin the assault on egg mountain. 94 00:04:19,135 --> 00:04:21,154 Okay, that's a strong opening, but I think you're gonna want 95 00:04:21,178 --> 00:04:22,388 a more active verb there. 96 00:04:22,471 --> 00:04:25,391 - Why is Dan being so nice? - You guys remind me of me when I was you. 97 00:04:25,474 --> 00:04:28,185 - Look at me now. - Ben: Nobody says shit like that voluntarily. 98 00:04:28,352 --> 00:04:31,689 Dan is campaigning for campaign manager, okay? 99 00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:33,941 - You're not pushing for him, are you? - Christ, no. 100 00:04:34,024 --> 00:04:35,943 I'd rather cede control of the CIA to Pakistan 101 00:04:36,026 --> 00:04:38,946 than see Dan lead a campaign. 102 00:04:39,029 --> 00:04:40,489 Should I be campaigning? 103 00:04:40,698 --> 00:04:42,158 Do you really have to ask me that? 104 00:04:42,241 --> 00:04:45,411 I can't do the "be nice to people" because that's what Dan's doing. 105 00:04:45,494 --> 00:04:47,621 Also, 'cause I can't do it. 106 00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:49,957 Why don't you just invite us over for dinner? 107 00:04:50,458 --> 00:04:52,501 - Did you get my text? - I got your text. 108 00:04:52,751 --> 00:04:55,463 - You didn't answer. - Oh, there is no answering that. 109 00:04:55,546 --> 00:04:56,881 Crystal, come here. 110 00:04:57,047 --> 00:04:59,383 I need you to take this to this address. 111 00:04:59,467 --> 00:05:00,610 Just leave it with the nurse. 112 00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:01,945 Fast as you can, but don't crash. 113 00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:04,388 There he is, Mr. Media master Mike. 114 00:05:04,472 --> 00:05:06,765 - Selina: Mike, where have you been? - Oh, the bathroom. 115 00:05:06,891 --> 00:05:08,491 I hope you were focusing on me in there. 116 00:05:08,559 --> 00:05:10,936 - Oh, no. Iwasn't. - Excuse me? What? 117 00:05:11,020 --> 00:05:12,646 I'm sorry, I was in the bathroom. 118 00:05:12,730 --> 00:05:14,490 What, you guys went to the bathroom together? 119 00:05:14,940 --> 00:05:16,484 I was actually thinking of something, 120 00:05:16,567 --> 00:05:19,403 which is how to squash the first story of your campaign. 121 00:05:19,487 --> 00:05:20,571 Which is what? 122 00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:23,294 The fact that you started your campaign without a campaign manager. 123 00:05:23,407 --> 00:05:26,202 Oh. Possibly without a press guy, too. Right, Mike? 124 00:05:26,285 --> 00:05:28,996 Sue: Ma'am? Selina: Yeah, I know. 125 00:05:32,958 --> 00:05:35,794 - What the hell was that about? - Don't worry about it, buddy. 126 00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:38,631 You speak the truth to power, Mr. Truth power talker. 127 00:05:38,881 --> 00:05:40,925 You know, Dan, watching you try to be nice 128 00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:42,760 is like watching a baby smoke a cigarette. 129 00:05:43,219 --> 00:05:47,181 It's kind of cool, but also very disturbing. 130 00:05:50,392 --> 00:05:51,936 Thank you. 131 00:05:52,978 --> 00:05:54,939 Let me guess, you're ordering dessert first 132 00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:56,232 and then a main course. 133 00:05:56,315 --> 00:05:57,566 What? Why? 134 00:05:57,816 --> 00:06:01,111 You put yourself up for nomination before appointing a campaign manager. 135 00:06:01,195 --> 00:06:03,476 I just thought maybe you liked to do everything backwards. 136 00:06:04,448 --> 00:06:06,367 That was quite a long journey for that joke. 137 00:06:06,450 --> 00:06:08,827 - I admire your stamina. - And I admire yours. 138 00:06:09,328 --> 00:06:11,372 Those polls can't be easy reading. 139 00:06:11,455 --> 00:06:13,683 You're 30 yards ahead when you should be three miles ahead. 140 00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:14,708 Do you know why? 141 00:06:14,792 --> 00:06:16,186 Let me tell you something. Polls are notorious... 142 00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:18,712 Let's look at why the press don't like you, and they don't. 143 00:06:18,837 --> 00:06:20,422 The answer is Mike mclintock. 144 00:06:20,506 --> 00:06:21,674 Well, that makes sense, yeah. 145 00:06:21,757 --> 00:06:24,760 And then we have Dan. He's all eyelashes and teeth. 146 00:06:24,843 --> 00:06:27,346 - He'd make a good croupier. - He would make a good croupier. 147 00:06:27,429 --> 00:06:30,224 Never thought of that. He's very good at reading people, you know? 148 00:06:30,307 --> 00:06:33,143 Right, hitting on drunk divorcees, yeah. That's his level. 149 00:06:33,269 --> 00:06:38,315 So you are suggesting losing Dan and Mike? 150 00:06:38,566 --> 00:06:40,651 - Amy would be... - Does she know you're here? 151 00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:43,153 - No, of course not. - You should fire her for that. 152 00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:45,257 I wouldn't let you within a mile of someone like me. 153 00:06:45,281 --> 00:06:46,991 Fire her, now. 154 00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:49,154 - I hadn't thought about... - Then it's time you did. 155 00:06:49,660 --> 00:06:51,203 - Bill? - Yes. 156 00:06:51,287 --> 00:06:53,205 If we are gonna work together, 157 00:06:53,289 --> 00:06:55,541 you really do need to make an effort 158 00:06:55,624 --> 00:06:58,669 not to interrupt me all the time because I find that a little... 159 00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:00,379 - Annoying? I get it. - Mmm-hmm. 160 00:07:00,629 --> 00:07:03,215 - Zip. Out. Done. Go ahead. - Good. Thank you. 161 00:07:03,299 --> 00:07:07,678 You're talking about losing Dan and Mike and Amy? 162 00:07:07,803 --> 00:07:09,555 - Plus Gary. - Oh, come on. 163 00:07:09,638 --> 00:07:12,784 Do you really want him standing behind you for the next eight years like an asshole? 164 00:07:12,808 --> 00:07:14,268 But you know, he's my asshole. 165 00:07:14,351 --> 00:07:17,313 - You need a better asshole. - All right, so, lose Gary, I guess. 166 00:07:17,646 --> 00:07:20,232 - And then, what, I fire everyone? - Mmm-hmm. 167 00:07:20,566 --> 00:07:22,026 Now what am I supposed to do? 168 00:07:22,192 --> 00:07:25,446 I could maximize your chances of becoming the most powerful person on earth. 169 00:07:27,865 --> 00:07:29,593 Doctor: Turn your head as far as you can to the right. 170 00:07:29,617 --> 00:07:31,076 And again. 171 00:07:32,620 --> 00:07:33,704 That's it? 172 00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:35,873 And at work you're required to carry a heavy bag? 173 00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:37,875 Yeah, that's one of my many responsibilities. 174 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:39,376 Is your bag integral to your job? 175 00:07:39,460 --> 00:07:41,128 What other duties do you have? 176 00:07:41,211 --> 00:07:43,172 That's classified information. 177 00:07:43,297 --> 00:07:45,377 Carry on like this, you're gonna need a new shoulder. 178 00:07:45,633 --> 00:07:47,193 Is that an option? 'Cause I can do that. 179 00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:48,510 You need to get a new job. 180 00:07:48,594 --> 00:07:50,314 Someone around here needs to get a new job, 181 00:07:50,346 --> 00:07:52,014 and it ain't me. 182 00:07:56,185 --> 00:07:57,370 Intern: I'm not sure if / understand... 183 00:07:57,394 --> 00:07:58,872 Amy: I'm not sure I want to explain it to you again. 184 00:07:58,896 --> 00:08:00,105 - Dan... - Dan: No, too busy. 185 00:08:00,189 --> 00:08:01,815 Load faster, you asshole. 186 00:08:01,899 --> 00:08:04,777 Sue: Gary, get your arm out of my airspace before I shoot it down. 187 00:08:05,235 --> 00:08:07,321 Hello, top minds. 188 00:08:07,404 --> 00:08:08,822 - Mike: Afternoon. - Ma'am. 189 00:08:08,906 --> 00:08:10,366 So, is there a Maddox update? 190 00:08:10,449 --> 00:08:12,785 Have you heard that he gave Jonah a job? 191 00:08:13,243 --> 00:08:14,370 No way. 192 00:08:14,453 --> 00:08:15,764 Are you kidding me? That's the update? 193 00:08:15,788 --> 00:08:17,831 - I know, right? - No. 194 00:08:18,123 --> 00:08:20,209 I'm talking about Maddox and me. 195 00:08:20,334 --> 00:08:24,171 Jesus Christ! I'm 30 yards ahead of this guy. 196 00:08:24,254 --> 00:08:25,673 I should be three miles ahead. 197 00:08:25,756 --> 00:08:27,508 I should be the three-mile candidate. 198 00:08:27,591 --> 00:08:29,968 "Three mile" has negative connotations, ma'am. 199 00:08:30,052 --> 00:08:31,553 There was a nuclear disaster there. 200 00:08:31,637 --> 00:08:33,305 Yeah. Well, there might be one here too. 201 00:08:33,389 --> 00:08:35,641 Ma'am, George Maddox would like to meet this weekend. 202 00:08:35,766 --> 00:08:38,060 - Where? - He's invited you to his country house. 203 00:08:38,227 --> 00:08:41,027 - What for, a murder mystery weekend? - Selina: Oh, I love the country. 204 00:08:41,105 --> 00:08:43,148 Peeing in a bush, being talked to on a porch. 205 00:08:43,232 --> 00:08:44,608 It's kind of like being a dog. 206 00:08:44,692 --> 00:08:46,735 Well, ma'am, we need to stop Maddox from running. 207 00:08:46,819 --> 00:08:47,820 I know that, ame. 208 00:08:47,945 --> 00:08:49,297 Offer something shiny, like state. 209 00:08:49,321 --> 00:08:51,115 Mike, you're gonna come with me. 210 00:08:51,782 --> 00:08:53,117 - Me? - Selina: Yeah. 211 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:54,535 - Really? - Yeah. 212 00:08:54,618 --> 00:08:58,455 Um... I have really important stuff to do here, ma'am. 213 00:08:58,580 --> 00:09:01,917 Oh. I'm so sorry. Am I keeping you from anything? 214 00:09:02,084 --> 00:09:04,211 Yeah, but... 215 00:09:04,294 --> 00:09:06,534 I guess I could do it in the country. 216 00:09:07,131 --> 00:09:09,007 Don't you have allergies, Mike? 217 00:09:09,091 --> 00:09:11,510 Oh, I do actually have allergies. 218 00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:14,430 You do know that this isn't a hobby? 219 00:09:14,763 --> 00:09:16,473 - Right? - What isn't a hobby? 220 00:09:16,765 --> 00:09:18,684 - This job. - Oh. 221 00:09:18,976 --> 00:09:20,561 - Of course I know that. - Yep. 222 00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:24,064 Selina: What in the loving fuck? 223 00:09:24,148 --> 00:09:25,399 Ma'am, I could go. 224 00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:27,359 I can't choose either of you guys to go 225 00:09:27,443 --> 00:09:30,237 because then it's gonna show some sort of campaign manager bias 226 00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:31,405 and you'll freak out. 227 00:09:31,488 --> 00:09:33,049 - Amy: No, we could go with that. - I can put that aside. 228 00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:34,950 - Seriously? - Of course. 229 00:09:35,033 --> 00:09:37,077 - All right, then. Dan, you're coming. - Yes. 230 00:09:37,161 --> 00:09:40,581 - Perfect. Well, actually, I have a load of... - Laundry to do? 231 00:09:40,748 --> 00:09:42,583 - Strategy docs to work on. - Good. 232 00:09:42,666 --> 00:09:44,978 - Dan: You falling behind there, ames? - No, I'm keeping ahead. 233 00:09:45,002 --> 00:09:47,838 Really? 'Cause, you know, I can do that on the run, so... 234 00:09:53,177 --> 00:09:55,637 People like Maddox always have guns on the walls 235 00:09:55,721 --> 00:09:57,347 next to the animal heads. 236 00:09:57,514 --> 00:10:00,601 It's like a flowchart for people who don't know what firearms do. 237 00:10:02,686 --> 00:10:05,189 - Madam vice president. - Oh, George. 238 00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:06,499 George: Come on in. Selina: Thank you. 239 00:10:06,523 --> 00:10:09,401 It's so good to see you. Is Eleanor here? 240 00:10:09,485 --> 00:10:12,988 No she's not, thankfully. She's not a fan. 241 00:10:13,071 --> 00:10:14,865 Of political talk, I mean. 242 00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:16,992 Oh, I see. Right. 243 00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:20,287 These are just... In your face. 244 00:10:20,704 --> 00:10:23,248 - In a kind of fantastic way. - Yeah. 245 00:10:23,415 --> 00:10:25,417 Yeah. Did you kill these? 246 00:10:25,876 --> 00:10:27,377 No, they were pre-killed. 247 00:10:27,461 --> 00:10:28,754 Oh, right. 248 00:10:29,338 --> 00:10:31,006 Jake, could you get their bags? 249 00:10:31,089 --> 00:10:33,509 - Yes, sir. - Oh. Hi, "Jake." 250 00:10:34,927 --> 00:10:36,804 You're Maddox's bagman? 251 00:10:37,262 --> 00:10:40,140 - That's quite a demotion. - I'm sorry? 252 00:10:40,224 --> 00:10:42,726 I have several responsibilities for secretary Maddox. 253 00:10:42,810 --> 00:10:45,103 And I think you'll find I'm quite the renaissance man. 254 00:10:45,229 --> 00:10:47,648 Well, please, by all means, Leonardo. 255 00:10:47,731 --> 00:10:48,732 Yes. Chop-chop. 256 00:10:48,816 --> 00:10:51,652 I want to thank you for agreeing to come and go fishing with me. 257 00:10:51,735 --> 00:10:54,655 Yeah, I can't wait to get out on the water. What kind of boat do you have? 258 00:10:54,905 --> 00:10:56,240 I don't have a boat. 259 00:10:56,573 --> 00:10:59,201 Selina: This is the most lovely setting, isn't it? 260 00:10:59,576 --> 00:11:01,370 It's a beautiful day. 261 00:11:01,912 --> 00:11:03,848 Dan: Okay, here, come on. Selina: I got it. There. 262 00:11:03,872 --> 00:11:05,040 Gary: Ah, ah, ah. 263 00:11:05,123 --> 00:11:06,500 Oh, I'm sorry, George. Pardon me. 264 00:11:06,625 --> 00:11:09,169 Okay, that's fine. Get away from... 265 00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:11,088 Dan: Gary, come on. Gary: My god. 266 00:11:11,755 --> 00:11:13,006 Have you fished before? 267 00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:15,384 Uh, yeah. 268 00:11:15,467 --> 00:11:16,760 George: Yeah? 269 00:11:19,096 --> 00:11:20,764 Oh... 270 00:11:21,932 --> 00:11:24,518 That's a nice cast. Right out into the center of the water. 271 00:11:24,685 --> 00:11:26,353 Well, that's where I like to be. 272 00:11:26,562 --> 00:11:28,272 Right in the center of the action. 273 00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:29,857 You and me both. 274 00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:33,861 What about chung? You think he's gonna run, George? 275 00:11:33,944 --> 00:11:35,320 - I hope not. - Yeah. 276 00:11:35,404 --> 00:11:37,531 We can't have a war tourist in the white house. 277 00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:40,075 - Ha. - He talks the talk, but all he did in Iraq 278 00:11:40,158 --> 00:11:41,577 was wait for the bombing to stop, 279 00:11:41,660 --> 00:11:43,370 then post Facebook photos of himself 280 00:11:43,453 --> 00:11:45,289 sitting on a gold-plated bidet. 281 00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:50,460 Jonah: That's a good stance, sir. Good solid base. 282 00:11:50,794 --> 00:11:52,588 I'd hate to be a fish in your river. 283 00:11:52,796 --> 00:11:54,673 - Shut up. - Selina: George... 284 00:11:54,798 --> 00:11:56,967 If I were in the oval office, 285 00:11:57,217 --> 00:12:00,888 you know, I could really use somebody like you in state. 286 00:12:01,346 --> 00:12:03,265 If I was state, hypothetically... 287 00:12:03,348 --> 00:12:04,391 Selina: Oh! Gary: Ooh. 288 00:12:04,474 --> 00:12:05,559 Oh, look at that! 289 00:12:05,642 --> 00:12:07,042 - That is heavy! - Dan: Reel him in. 290 00:12:07,102 --> 00:12:08,702 Selina: Look at that! 291 00:12:08,979 --> 00:12:10,290 - Look how big that thing is! - Oh, yeah! 292 00:12:10,314 --> 00:12:11,315 Dan: Okay! Oh! 293 00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:12,482 Both: Whoa! 294 00:12:12,566 --> 00:12:13,901 Gary: How exciting! 295 00:12:13,984 --> 00:12:15,652 Selina: Oh, no! Dan: Where'd he go? Aw! 296 00:12:15,819 --> 00:12:17,487 - Did you lose him? - Oh, he got away. 297 00:12:17,571 --> 00:12:18,989 You fucking idiot. 298 00:12:19,489 --> 00:12:21,658 Mike: This is so nice of you, Amy. 299 00:12:21,909 --> 00:12:24,077 Oh, there was a seating plan. 300 00:12:24,578 --> 00:12:26,663 - Kent: Ah, I'm sorry. - But it is absolutely fine. 301 00:12:26,747 --> 00:12:29,458 I'm going to top up some wine. 302 00:12:29,625 --> 00:12:31,227 - You have... you need some... - Actually, I don't... no, no. 303 00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:32,419 Mike: Oh! 304 00:12:32,502 --> 00:12:34,004 It's okay. It's okay. 305 00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:35,315 - Amy: No. - Don't rub it, Mike. 306 00:12:35,339 --> 00:12:36,566 - I'm making it worse. - Amy: Yeah. 307 00:12:36,590 --> 00:12:38,342 I was gonna get a new rug, so... 308 00:12:38,508 --> 00:12:40,969 I could take a dump on it, if you need a clincher. 309 00:12:41,053 --> 00:12:42,304 Kent: Oh, thank you, Ben. 310 00:12:42,387 --> 00:12:44,598 This is great wine, Amy. 311 00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:46,141 A lot better than I anticipated. 312 00:12:46,224 --> 00:12:48,769 And she has got a real nose for wine. 313 00:12:48,852 --> 00:12:50,496 You remember that soiree at the French embassy, 314 00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:53,065 where you were identifying the year by the smell? 315 00:12:53,148 --> 00:12:54,524 I also do that with my men. 316 00:12:54,733 --> 00:12:57,110 The only thing about you that doesn't surprise me 317 00:12:57,194 --> 00:12:59,071 is your capacity to surprise me. 318 00:12:59,237 --> 00:13:02,824 So good to see everybody. I'm gonna check on the food. 319 00:13:04,576 --> 00:13:06,846 What's the delay? I have mammals in there who need to eat food. 320 00:13:06,870 --> 00:13:08,372 Is this ready? What is it? 321 00:13:08,747 --> 00:13:10,123 - Potatoes. - I can see that. 322 00:13:10,207 --> 00:13:12,042 - Potatoes a la what? - Just potatoes. 323 00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:13,353 You can't really eat them by themselves. 324 00:13:13,377 --> 00:13:16,129 I've eaten hummus with a pen cap. Don't tell me how I can eat. 325 00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:19,800 Amy: So we can make a start with this. 326 00:13:19,883 --> 00:13:21,551 That is an ark of potato. 327 00:13:21,635 --> 00:13:23,220 S.S. Starch. 328 00:13:23,345 --> 00:13:27,432 So, Amy, when are you going to ask us to support you as campaign manager? 329 00:13:27,557 --> 00:13:29,726 I guess I don't have to now. Um... 330 00:13:29,935 --> 00:13:32,312 But anyone who talks about work tonight has to take a drink. 331 00:13:32,396 --> 00:13:34,356 - Work. - Oh, Ben jumped on that. 332 00:13:34,439 --> 00:13:35,917 Amy: We're off. 333 00:13:35,941 --> 00:13:39,194 - Where's your bathroom? - It's second on the left. 334 00:13:39,903 --> 00:13:42,656 Mike: Thank you. Thank you so much. 335 00:13:46,410 --> 00:13:48,203 You look gorgeous! 336 00:13:48,286 --> 00:13:50,038 Do you think that I'm ruthless... 337 00:13:50,122 --> 00:13:51,665 -No. N_enough? 338 00:13:51,790 --> 00:13:53,375 - Oh, enough? - Yeah. 339 00:13:53,583 --> 00:13:57,087 I think you have just the right amount of grit in your oyster. 340 00:13:57,254 --> 00:13:58,255 - Huh? - Hmm? 341 00:13:58,630 --> 00:14:02,592 No, I mean, can I be a complete fucking bitch? 342 00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:04,845 Please don't talk about yourself that way. 343 00:14:04,928 --> 00:14:07,264 You know how sometimes you have a friend, 344 00:14:07,431 --> 00:14:09,433 but they weren't up to their job? 345 00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:11,018 My shoulder is fine, ma'am. 346 00:14:11,101 --> 00:14:12,519 No, no. I'm not talking about you. 347 00:14:12,602 --> 00:14:13,937 Okay. 348 00:14:14,271 --> 00:14:15,957 Though it doesn't look like your shoulder's fine. 349 00:14:15,981 --> 00:14:17,858 It's almost perfect... 350 00:14:17,941 --> 00:14:21,987 If that became some sort of permanent disability... 351 00:14:22,070 --> 00:14:23,613 Mike's masturbating at work. 352 00:14:23,989 --> 00:14:25,949 - What? - I caught him doing it. 353 00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:28,577 - No. - Him and Wendy are doing ivf. 354 00:14:28,660 --> 00:14:31,455 And I caught him coming out of the bathroom stall with a bag. 355 00:14:33,623 --> 00:14:35,876 Oh, my god! Give me my phone. 356 00:14:35,959 --> 00:14:38,003 - Why? - 'Cause I've got to be in touch with Ben. 357 00:14:38,086 --> 00:14:41,089 I can't have Mike getting "what's-her-ass" 358 00:14:41,173 --> 00:14:42,466 all knocked up and pregnant, 359 00:14:42,549 --> 00:14:44,968 becoming some sort of a dad during my campaign. 360 00:14:45,135 --> 00:14:46,386 What is keeping Mike? Mike? 361 00:14:46,470 --> 00:14:48,597 Mike: I'm here. Sorry. Sorry. 362 00:14:49,139 --> 00:14:51,933 - Kent: Join the party, Mike. - This food looks amazing. 363 00:14:52,017 --> 00:14:53,852 Amy: It should be. It cost enough. 364 00:14:54,311 --> 00:14:58,482 Hey, Mike, this salad doesn't have any dressing. 365 00:14:59,524 --> 00:15:01,318 Did you bring any extra dressing? 366 00:15:01,485 --> 00:15:02,765 What are you talking about, Ben? 367 00:15:02,944 --> 00:15:05,655 I hear the next course is gonna be pulled pork. 368 00:15:06,073 --> 00:15:09,117 Pork that has been pulled. 369 00:15:09,493 --> 00:15:11,495 So everybody knows that I was in there 370 00:15:11,620 --> 00:15:13,288 masturbating into a cup now? 371 00:15:13,705 --> 00:15:16,583 - No, I was the only one who knew, Mike. - We all know now. 372 00:15:16,708 --> 00:15:21,046 I really hope that's ivf or something, Mike, because othen/vise... 373 00:15:21,129 --> 00:15:22,631 It is. It is. 374 00:15:22,714 --> 00:15:25,425 Wendy and I are trying to conceive a child. 375 00:15:25,509 --> 00:15:28,428 Good luck with that. That can be a tough road. 376 00:15:28,512 --> 00:15:31,556 - Mike: I know. - I have a sister who was... 377 00:15:32,057 --> 00:15:33,934 Well, she didn't have the... 378 00:15:34,309 --> 00:15:36,561 It kind of all went wrong within the tubing... 379 00:15:36,645 --> 00:15:38,438 - Stop talking. - Copy that. 380 00:15:38,522 --> 00:15:39,606 Talk about something else. 381 00:15:39,689 --> 00:15:40,982 Amy: Before we eat, 382 00:15:41,066 --> 00:15:45,445 may I just say how much I value all of you. 383 00:15:45,529 --> 00:15:48,406 Thank you for your skills and for your friendship. 384 00:15:48,532 --> 00:15:50,534 Kent: Hear, hear. Ben: To skills. 385 00:15:51,034 --> 00:15:52,702 And friendship. 386 00:16:06,925 --> 00:16:10,428 Um, what if we don't have anything to talk about but work? 387 00:16:10,512 --> 00:16:12,305 Oh. Work. 388 00:16:12,389 --> 00:16:14,599 We have plenty of other stuff to say. 389 00:16:14,808 --> 00:16:19,563 Amy, did I hear you talking about Maddox hiring Jonah, 390 00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:21,541 - or was that a horrible nightmare I had? - Mmm-hmm. 391 00:16:21,565 --> 00:16:23,275 Why would Maddox hire someone like that? 392 00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:24,943 Because of his uncle. 393 00:16:25,026 --> 00:16:26,361 Why? Who's his uncle? 394 00:16:26,570 --> 00:16:29,447 - Jeff Kane. - Jeff Kane, the New Hampshire guy? 395 00:16:29,531 --> 00:16:30,991 - Yeah. - Amy: The Jeff Kane. 396 00:16:31,074 --> 00:16:33,177 Who controls the senior citizen vote in New Hampshire? 397 00:16:33,201 --> 00:16:34,971 How do you think he got the job in the white house? 398 00:16:34,995 --> 00:16:37,205 She's at Maddox's right now. I have to call her. 399 00:16:37,289 --> 00:16:39,374 Maddox's camp will give you nothing. 400 00:16:39,457 --> 00:16:41,376 - Maddox has access to... - Yeah, I know that. 401 00:16:41,459 --> 00:16:43,420 I know that, and that's why I'm gonna call. 402 00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:46,673 You know what's gonna help, everybody? If you just go. 403 00:16:46,798 --> 00:16:49,426 I don't mean to be rude, but dinner has got to be over. 404 00:16:49,926 --> 00:16:52,846 Please, all, do support Amy as selina's campaign manager. 405 00:16:52,929 --> 00:16:54,681 Please do. Yay me. Yay me. 406 00:16:54,764 --> 00:16:56,117 Ben: Anybody wanna get a burger? Mike: Yeah. 407 00:16:56,141 --> 00:16:58,077 - Don't forget your bag, Mike. - Mike: Thanks, Kent. 408 00:16:58,101 --> 00:17:00,770 It seems more appropriate now that it's just the two of us. 409 00:17:00,896 --> 00:17:03,982 - No. You have to go too. - Amy, it's our anniversary. 410 00:17:04,232 --> 00:17:07,819 Oh, please do not tell me you are one of those fucking weirdoes 411 00:17:07,903 --> 00:17:09,905 that celebrates three month-a-versaries. 412 00:17:10,030 --> 00:17:11,448 It's actually a year. 413 00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:15,202 A year in which you neglected to tell me about Jeff Kane. Go. 414 00:17:15,285 --> 00:17:17,913 I guess I'll go tell the violinist that he has the night off. 415 00:17:18,121 --> 00:17:20,707 I'll have him play me a bunch of smiths covers in my car. 416 00:17:20,790 --> 00:17:23,835 - Ma'am... you gotta go. - Selina: Hey, what's up? 417 00:17:24,169 --> 00:17:25,170 Jeff Kane. 418 00:17:25,629 --> 00:17:27,273 The New Hampshire guy. Yeah. What about him? 419 00:17:27,297 --> 00:17:30,258 - He's Jonah's uncle. - Shit. 420 00:17:30,342 --> 00:17:33,929 - Dan: What? - Jeff Kane is Jonah's uncle? 421 00:17:34,012 --> 00:17:36,056 - What? - No! 422 00:17:36,139 --> 00:17:38,975 Tell Dan he needs to find Jonah now and poach him. 423 00:17:39,142 --> 00:17:40,769 Okay. We're all over this. 424 00:17:40,894 --> 00:17:43,688 That's obviously how he got the job with Maddox. 425 00:17:43,813 --> 00:17:45,291 No one would be so stupid to hire him othennise. 426 00:17:45,315 --> 00:17:46,942 Exactly. 427 00:17:47,025 --> 00:17:48,568 - So, we're all set? - Selina: Yeah. 428 00:17:49,110 --> 00:17:51,738 Yeah. Oh, sir, where is Jonah? 429 00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:54,658 - Who? - The tall fellow. 430 00:17:54,741 --> 00:17:57,744 The bag of bones guy? He's in your entourage. 431 00:17:57,869 --> 00:17:59,805 Haven't we got more important things to talk about? 432 00:17:59,829 --> 00:18:01,766 We do, George. We certainly do. 433 00:18:01,790 --> 00:18:03,833 - Right this way. - Thank you so much. Thank you. 434 00:18:06,670 --> 00:18:09,047 Hey, buddy. How's it going? 435 00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:11,049 Why the fuck do you care? 436 00:18:11,132 --> 00:18:12,932 - Why shouldn't I care? - Because you hate me. 437 00:18:13,009 --> 00:18:15,762 All right, look. There's a fine line, Jonah, 438 00:18:15,845 --> 00:18:18,515 between hate and non-hate. 439 00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:20,267 You attacked me with a burrito. 440 00:18:20,350 --> 00:18:22,435 And if I could turn back the hands of time, I would. 441 00:18:22,519 --> 00:18:24,896 - What, so you could do it again? - No. 442 00:18:25,188 --> 00:18:27,732 Thejuice could have gotten in my eyes, Dan. 443 00:18:27,816 --> 00:18:29,609 The spicy burrito juice. 444 00:18:29,693 --> 00:18:31,903 I think you and I have a lot in common, actually. 445 00:18:32,028 --> 00:18:34,781 - We do? - Yeah. We say it like it is. 446 00:18:35,031 --> 00:18:37,826 So if I did want to run, why would I just step aside for you? 447 00:18:37,909 --> 00:18:39,744 See, that's what I'm talking about. 448 00:18:39,911 --> 00:18:42,414 - Why wouldn't you? - No, why would I? 449 00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:46,418 Well, I believe that I've earned this, George. 450 00:18:46,584 --> 00:18:49,963 I also believe that the position of vice president 451 00:18:50,046 --> 00:18:51,840 can be a very rewarding one. 452 00:18:52,048 --> 00:18:53,425 Even though it has no power? 453 00:18:53,550 --> 00:18:55,302 It has some constitutional power, 454 00:18:55,385 --> 00:18:59,222 and, by the way, I think that I can pull some pretty big levers. 455 00:18:59,514 --> 00:19:02,600 You exercise this power very discreetly, I must say. 456 00:19:04,561 --> 00:19:05,979 Maddox? Come on, man. 457 00:19:06,062 --> 00:19:07,915 That guy's got ulterior motives, and you know it. 458 00:19:07,939 --> 00:19:09,339 What do you mean, ulterior motives? 459 00:19:09,566 --> 00:19:11,568 I just think he's keeping you around... 460 00:19:11,735 --> 00:19:14,112 - Because? - Because of your uncle, Jeff Kane. 461 00:19:14,195 --> 00:19:16,531 - Fuck you, Dan. - I just offered you a job. 462 00:19:16,614 --> 00:19:18,992 People like me, people hire me, people date me, 463 00:19:19,075 --> 00:19:22,162 and people fuck me because I'm triple-a fuckin' awesome 464 00:19:22,245 --> 00:19:23,830 - and no other reason. - Sure. 465 00:19:23,997 --> 00:19:27,000 So why don't you scooch your little butt out of my fuckin' pantry? 466 00:19:27,083 --> 00:19:30,128 You know what? The only reason you have a fuckin' job, Jonah, 467 00:19:30,211 --> 00:19:32,172 is because your uncle is Donald chump. 468 00:19:32,297 --> 00:19:34,507 Wake up and smell the fuckin' burrito juice. 469 00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:36,634 You know what? Selina's gonna lose 470 00:19:36,718 --> 00:19:39,429 and president Maddox is gonna have you both executed! 471 00:19:39,554 --> 00:19:41,598 That's not even the way it works, you fuckin' idiot. 472 00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:43,933 Yeah? Well, maybe you're a fuckin' idiot. 473 00:19:44,267 --> 00:19:46,853 So I think we both agree that the strongest candidate should run. 474 00:19:46,978 --> 00:19:48,104 Absolutely. 475 00:19:48,188 --> 00:19:50,190 And we both agree that the role of vice president 476 00:19:50,273 --> 00:19:52,275 can be a very significant one. 477 00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:54,235 You've certainly made a compelling argument. 478 00:19:54,319 --> 00:19:56,196 - You'd consider that? - Absolutely. 479 00:19:56,446 --> 00:19:58,966 - You'd be my vice president. - Would love for you to be my vice president. 480 00:19:58,990 --> 00:20:00,450 Huh? What did you just say? 481 00:20:00,575 --> 00:20:03,870 It makes sense for me. You're already vetted. 482 00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:05,163 Are you kidding me? 483 00:20:05,246 --> 00:20:07,457 Plus you would be the first vice president 484 00:20:07,582 --> 00:20:10,043 to serve under two successive presidents. 485 00:20:10,126 --> 00:20:13,129 I'd rather be shot in the fucking face 486 00:20:13,296 --> 00:20:15,423 than serve as vice president again. 487 00:20:16,341 --> 00:20:18,051 Seriously, in the fucking face! 488 00:20:20,804 --> 00:20:22,305 Hey, how'd it go? 489 00:20:22,639 --> 00:20:23,640 Uh-uh. 490 00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:25,016 Oh, god. 491 00:20:25,100 --> 00:20:26,559 How'd it go? 492 00:20:29,646 --> 00:20:32,190 Dan: All right, guys, listen. Maddox is running, okay? 493 00:20:32,273 --> 00:20:34,859 So I need you to access the strategy file in dropbox. 494 00:20:34,943 --> 00:20:37,195 Password, "mother_fucker." 495 00:20:37,278 --> 00:20:38,446 So our next move 496 00:20:38,530 --> 00:20:40,115 - is to stop chung from running. - No. 497 00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:43,076 Two ex-military candidates are gonna squeeze you out, ma'am. 498 00:20:43,201 --> 00:20:44,744 The subtext of every question will be, 499 00:20:44,828 --> 00:20:46,347 "yeah, you're pretty, but can you break a man's neck?" 500 00:20:46,371 --> 00:20:47,431 Let me explain something to you. 501 00:20:47,455 --> 00:20:52,335 You had me go marching off to the country to try and keep Maddox from running, 502 00:20:52,460 --> 00:20:54,380 and then today, he announced he's running, right? 503 00:20:54,462 --> 00:20:57,424 Oh, what's in your lunchbox, Mike? 504 00:20:57,507 --> 00:21:00,468 A protein shake? You degenerate. 505 00:21:00,677 --> 00:21:03,638 You know about this? The private thing I wanted kept private? 506 00:21:03,847 --> 00:21:06,391 You know, Mike, it would please me greatly 507 00:21:06,683 --> 00:21:08,685 if you would do me the honor 508 00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:11,104 of removing yourjizzbox 509 00:21:11,187 --> 00:21:13,773 from our executive branch of government. 510 00:21:14,023 --> 00:21:16,109 - It's actually a cooler. - Oh! Then, by all means. 511 00:21:16,192 --> 00:21:18,945 Open it up, let's have a picnic. I'll boil up my eggs. 512 00:21:21,322 --> 00:21:24,868 So, listen. I'm gonna get rid of the team, the whole bunch. 513 00:21:25,243 --> 00:21:28,246 Desperate Dan, flailing Amy, crippled Gary, jizzy Mike. 514 00:21:28,329 --> 00:21:29,789 Jizzy Mike? 515 00:21:29,873 --> 00:21:32,125 Yeah. He jerks off all the time in the office. 516 00:21:32,208 --> 00:21:33,668 Really? He does that? 517 00:21:33,751 --> 00:21:36,379 Yeah, he really does. You have no idea. 518 00:21:36,463 --> 00:21:38,256 Anyway, I'm going to get rid of 'em. 519 00:21:38,339 --> 00:21:40,258 I'm gonna shoot Mike and Gary in the head, 520 00:21:40,341 --> 00:21:41,968 I'll poison Amy, I'll behead Dan. 521 00:21:42,051 --> 00:21:45,346 - Ma'am. - Oh, shit. What are you doing here? 522 00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:48,016 Look, I'm so sorry to interrupt, 523 00:21:48,099 --> 00:21:51,144 but I have some inside Maddox polling data. 524 00:21:51,269 --> 00:21:54,230 - How did you find me? - I put a lot of pressure on sue. 525 00:21:55,482 --> 00:21:57,984 So, she's gonna have to go too. 526 00:21:58,067 --> 00:21:59,819 Wait. What do you mean, too? 527 00:21:59,903 --> 00:22:02,155 Yeah, Dan, listen... 528 00:22:02,489 --> 00:22:05,533 Bill is going to be our new campaign manager... 529 00:22:05,617 --> 00:22:07,035 I'm flattered, but the answer's no. 530 00:22:07,535 --> 00:22:08,536 I'm sorry. What? 531 00:22:08,620 --> 00:22:10,973 I hate to say I got a better offer, but I got a better offer. 532 00:22:10,997 --> 00:22:12,373 Is it Danny chung? 533 00:22:12,457 --> 00:22:16,628 That desperate dick covered in medals that he got on eBay, by the way? 534 00:22:16,794 --> 00:22:18,922 - Not chung. It's thornhill. - Selina: What? 535 00:22:19,005 --> 00:22:23,051 Basebahjoe? That man's a vegetable. Seriously. 536 00:22:23,134 --> 00:22:24,761 - So he can catch a ball. - He can win. 537 00:22:24,886 --> 00:22:27,072 He did it on the field when nobody thought he had a chance. 538 00:22:27,096 --> 00:22:28,908 People love his story, they love his attitude. 539 00:22:28,932 --> 00:22:30,308 I don't love your attitude. 540 00:22:30,391 --> 00:22:32,519 - So why don't you go and... - With all due respect... 541 00:22:32,602 --> 00:22:36,981 You know what? You stop interrupting me, you stupid fucking interrupty guy. 542 00:22:37,065 --> 00:22:39,943 - I'm sorry. - I am UN-offering you the job. 543 00:22:40,026 --> 00:22:43,655 You will never be my campaign manager, ever! 544 00:22:43,738 --> 00:22:46,282 - Well, it was a pleasure to meet you, ma'am. - You bet it was. 545 00:22:46,407 --> 00:22:48,368 It was a huge pleasure to meet me. 546 00:22:48,493 --> 00:22:50,286 You know we're going to rip you apart. 547 00:22:50,578 --> 00:22:52,247 Oh, so scary! 548 00:23:02,799 --> 00:23:04,384 Dan... 549 00:23:05,468 --> 00:23:07,637 Do you want to be my campaign manager? 550 00:23:11,307 --> 00:23:13,268 - Yes. - Yeah. 551 00:23:13,601 --> 00:23:15,562 - Yes, I do. - Okay. 552 00:23:16,312 --> 00:23:17,772 Yeah! 553 00:23:18,398 --> 00:23:19,941 Ma'am, you... 554 00:23:20,024 --> 00:23:22,402 I am not going to let you down. You will not regret this. 555 00:23:22,485 --> 00:23:23,570 - Okay. - Yeah. 556 00:23:23,653 --> 00:23:25,113 - Okay. - Yeah! 557 00:23:27,949 --> 00:23:29,409 Gary: This is amazing. 558 00:23:29,492 --> 00:23:31,369 I feel all floaty. What's this one called? 559 00:23:31,452 --> 00:23:33,413 - It's a boilermaker. - A boilermaker! 560 00:23:34,664 --> 00:23:36,749 - You never had one? - Mmm-mmm. 561 00:23:36,833 --> 00:23:37,917 I'm a prosecco man. 562 00:23:38,001 --> 00:23:39,441 I wouldn't spread that around, Gary. 563 00:23:39,502 --> 00:23:40,688 Did you know I got a condition? 564 00:23:40,712 --> 00:23:41,897 What, you can't hold your alcohol? 565 00:23:41,921 --> 00:23:43,641 No, it's my shoulder. I'm in a lot of pain. 566 00:23:43,715 --> 00:23:44,841 Join the club, pal. 567 00:23:44,924 --> 00:23:49,095 No, but I carry around selina's big, heavy bag of her tampon bullshit. 568 00:23:49,470 --> 00:23:50,864 And the doctor... 569 00:23:50,888 --> 00:23:52,265 - I'm serious. - Mike. 570 00:23:52,348 --> 00:23:55,476 - The doctor told me to get another job. - No. 571 00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:57,812 - You need to get another doctor. - Thank you. 572 00:23:57,895 --> 00:23:59,689 Yeah. Did he give you a cortisone shot? 573 00:23:59,814 --> 00:24:01,858 - No! No! - See? 574 00:24:01,941 --> 00:24:03,651 Mr. Bartender! 575 00:24:03,776 --> 00:24:05,111 A cortisone shot! 576 00:24:06,946 --> 00:24:08,281 Tequila. 577 00:24:08,364 --> 00:24:10,408 Tequila! Oh. 578 00:24:10,533 --> 00:24:13,328 Mike, is the bar the appropriate place 579 00:24:13,411 --> 00:24:14,996 for the contents of that bag? 580 00:24:15,079 --> 00:24:17,290 Relax, Amy. It's a spoiled batch. 581 00:24:17,373 --> 00:24:20,293 I missed my window today at the clinic and Wendy is not happy. 582 00:24:20,376 --> 00:24:24,464 - Hey, Mr. Kent! - Hey, kids. Everybody well oiled? 583 00:24:24,547 --> 00:24:29,677 I called you all to my office because there may be some changes. 584 00:24:29,886 --> 00:24:32,889 She got a campaign manager, didn't she? 585 00:24:33,056 --> 00:24:34,724 Please tell me that it's not Dan. 586 00:24:34,807 --> 00:24:35,850 It's not Dan. 587 00:24:35,933 --> 00:24:38,311 Thank you, god! 588 00:24:38,394 --> 00:24:41,522 - Fuck you, Dan, you minor-league gigolo! - Gary: Gigolo! 589 00:24:41,689 --> 00:24:43,167 Dan: Just out of curiosity... Selina: Yeah? 590 00:24:43,191 --> 00:24:44,609 Dan: What was ericsson's pitch? 591 00:24:44,734 --> 00:24:48,946 He said that you'd be better off as a croupier fucking older women. 592 00:24:49,072 --> 00:24:50,907 That doesn't bother me. I... 593 00:24:51,824 --> 00:24:53,242 I like older women. 594 00:24:53,868 --> 00:24:55,620 I do. They have life experience. 595 00:24:55,703 --> 00:24:57,664 - Yeah, they do. - Not just the sexy stuff. 596 00:24:57,747 --> 00:24:58,831 Mmm. 597 00:25:00,124 --> 00:25:03,294 - Well, they've got that too, I can tell you that. - Mmm-hmm. 598 00:25:04,587 --> 00:25:07,757 Actually, it's been a while since I've been with an older woman. 599 00:25:13,137 --> 00:25:15,223 - Oh, here, I gotcha. - Thank you very much. 600 00:25:15,306 --> 00:25:16,432 Sure. 601 00:25:17,809 --> 00:25:22,313 Look. This is gonna be a very intimate relationship. 602 00:25:22,563 --> 00:25:24,857 - And I really... I've gotta get in there. - Yeah? 603 00:25:24,941 --> 00:25:28,111 You have to tell me stuff that even Gary doesn't know. 604 00:25:28,236 --> 00:25:29,570 - Oh, wow. - Yeah. 605 00:25:29,654 --> 00:25:32,156 I can't even think, seriously. What about you? 606 00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:34,617 Do you have any skeletons? 607 00:25:34,701 --> 00:25:37,245 - Yeah. - Okay. Here we go. 608 00:25:37,328 --> 00:25:40,707 - Yeah, I've got one. When I was a kid... - Yeah? 609 00:25:40,832 --> 00:25:44,210 A bunch of older kids dared me... 610 00:25:44,377 --> 00:25:47,797 To kill this stray dog. And I did. 611 00:25:51,634 --> 00:25:53,136 - Really? - Yeah. 612 00:25:53,302 --> 00:25:55,680 - You killed a dog? - Yeah. 613 00:25:55,763 --> 00:25:57,432 Shit. 614 00:25:57,598 --> 00:25:59,642 Okay, now, your turn. You go. 615 00:26:01,602 --> 00:26:03,813 - Just let fly. - Okay. Well... 616 00:26:05,815 --> 00:26:08,818 - Right before Andrew and I split up... - Mmm-hmm. 617 00:26:09,235 --> 00:26:11,487 I don't know if you remember, but his car caught fire. 618 00:26:11,612 --> 00:26:12,947 Yeah. 619 00:26:16,075 --> 00:26:17,577 - You? - I did it. Yeah, I did it. 620 00:26:17,660 --> 00:26:19,328 I torch cars, you know... 621 00:26:19,662 --> 00:26:23,166 Give me the nuclear codes. 622 00:26:23,875 --> 00:26:24,917 Wow. 623 00:26:25,668 --> 00:26:28,004 I guess I can sit on that for eight years. 624 00:26:30,757 --> 00:26:33,176 Um, there's probably going to be some shake-ups. 625 00:26:33,259 --> 00:26:36,596 Oh. Sorry, Amy. 626 00:26:37,013 --> 00:26:39,432 - What the... - Fuck, Dan? 627 00:26:40,892 --> 00:26:42,226 She was talking to ericsson. 628 00:26:42,310 --> 00:26:44,520 I invited you guys to dinner. 629 00:26:44,604 --> 00:26:45,855 Yeah, then you kicked us out. 630 00:26:45,938 --> 00:26:48,524 Sir, I would like one of these, 631 00:26:48,608 --> 00:26:50,401 and after that, I want one of these. 632 00:26:50,485 --> 00:26:52,570 And then after that, I would like one of these. 633 00:26:53,780 --> 00:26:54,781 Careful. 634 00:26:55,031 --> 00:26:56,407 Why would she go with Dan 635 00:26:56,491 --> 00:26:58,618 when he couldn't even poach Jonah from Maddox? 636 00:26:58,701 --> 00:27:00,512 Amy: The one thing that will push me over the edge right now 637 00:27:00,536 --> 00:27:02,330 is if you mention Jonah's name. 638 00:27:02,413 --> 00:27:05,058 He could actually stumble in here. He lives right around the corner. 639 00:27:05,082 --> 00:27:07,043 - He won't come in here. - Mike, I got an idea. 640 00:27:07,126 --> 00:27:09,545 We should throw your expired cum at Jonah's door. 641 00:27:10,713 --> 00:27:12,107 - You're kidding. - I'm not kidding. 642 00:27:12,131 --> 00:27:14,509 Let's throw his cum at Jonah's door. 643 00:27:14,801 --> 00:27:16,219 Yeah! 644 00:27:16,385 --> 00:27:18,679 Let's throw cum! Let's throw cum! 645 00:27:18,805 --> 00:27:20,181 Let's throw cum! Let's throw cum! 646 00:27:20,264 --> 00:27:23,059 Amy, no, no... that's my DNA! 647 00:27:24,852 --> 00:27:27,188 - I would like to see that, but we'll stay. - Yeah. 648 00:27:27,313 --> 00:27:29,065 All right, I'm out of here. 649 00:27:31,317 --> 00:27:32,985 How did you kill it? 650 00:27:33,569 --> 00:27:36,405 - Sorry, what? - Nothing. It's fine. 651 00:27:36,489 --> 00:27:39,075 - We're good? All right. - Yeah. 652 00:27:42,411 --> 00:27:45,498 I had a romantic dinner of champagne and oysters, 653 00:27:45,581 --> 00:27:48,251 and Wendy finished me off in a cup. It was beautiful. 654 00:27:48,835 --> 00:27:51,754 - Sounds pretty good, except for the oysters. - Mike: Yeah. I like 'em. 655 00:27:52,088 --> 00:27:54,768 - We do this like a contract killing, all right? - Amy: Where is it? 656 00:27:54,841 --> 00:27:55,901 Amy: Mike! 657 00:27:55,925 --> 00:27:57,069 Ben: What the fuck are you doing? 658 00:27:57,093 --> 00:27:59,554 Hurry up. Just get it out. 659 00:28:00,596 --> 00:28:01,722 Hey, guys.