1 00:00:18,895 --> 00:00:21,606 O'brien: A cloud of suspicion hangs over this administration. 2 00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:24,483 Were there cover-ups? Lies? 3 00:00:24,609 --> 00:00:26,527 Oh, god. I hate impeachments. 4 00:00:26,611 --> 00:00:27,904 They're so '905. 5 00:00:27,987 --> 00:00:30,781 Well, the president now has the senate and the house after him. 6 00:00:30,865 --> 00:00:31,949 Gonna rain pain. 7 00:00:32,033 --> 00:00:34,368 So what's potus's next move, Jonah? 8 00:00:34,452 --> 00:00:35,953 Oh, these lips are on lockdown. 9 00:00:36,037 --> 00:00:37,914 Right. You don't know. 10 00:00:37,997 --> 00:00:41,626 No, I just have a "don't ask, don't tell" policy about the things that I know. 11 00:00:41,709 --> 00:00:42,960 Or that I don't know. 12 00:00:43,044 --> 00:00:45,713 Jonah, don't talk, don't stay. 13 00:00:45,796 --> 00:00:47,715 You need to fuck off and go back to westworld. 14 00:00:47,798 --> 00:00:49,026 - But, ma'am... - You need to fuck off. 15 00:00:49,050 --> 00:00:50,319 - But, ma'am... - I said fuck off. 16 00:00:50,343 --> 00:00:52,345 - Three fucks, you're out. - Yes, ma'am. 17 00:00:52,428 --> 00:00:55,765 Selina: Yeah. Uh, guys, everybody in my office, please. 18 00:00:56,974 --> 00:01:00,436 Um, Gary, why don't you come sit here next to me? 19 00:01:00,519 --> 00:01:01,646 Okay. 20 00:01:07,235 --> 00:01:08,629 Selina: I've already told Amy this, 21 00:01:08,653 --> 00:01:11,364 but I have something that I need to tell you all. 22 00:01:11,447 --> 00:01:12,990 I think I know what you're gonna say. 23 00:01:14,242 --> 00:01:17,954 I've decided I'm not going to join potus in the next election. 24 00:01:18,037 --> 00:01:19,830 I'm gonna get out. 25 00:01:20,748 --> 00:01:22,166 Yeah. 26 00:01:25,253 --> 00:01:28,297 Ma'am, you have my deepest, deepest sympathies. 27 00:01:28,381 --> 00:01:31,759 Okay, well, I'm not dead. (Chuckles) 28 00:01:32,051 --> 00:01:35,513 My plan is that I'm gonna leave in two years, 29 00:01:36,681 --> 00:01:40,977 but then I'm gonna run for president four years after that. 30 00:01:41,477 --> 00:01:44,689 But in the meantime, I obviously can't keep everybody on. 31 00:01:44,772 --> 00:01:45,898 No, it's okay. 32 00:01:46,357 --> 00:01:49,443 80, um, if you need to look for otherjobs, 33 00:01:49,527 --> 00:01:51,127 then you need to be thinking about that. 34 00:01:51,195 --> 00:01:52,798 No one's thinking about that right now, ma'am. 35 00:01:52,822 --> 00:01:55,622 - Furthest thing from our minds. - I'm still digesting the information. 36 00:01:55,658 --> 00:01:57,576 Although I should really take this call. 37 00:01:57,660 --> 00:01:58,720 - Yeah? - Selina: Yeah, yeah, yeah. 38 00:01:58,744 --> 00:02:00,121 Well, your devotion to this job... 39 00:02:00,204 --> 00:02:01,956 - Yeah. Yeah. - It's just inspiring, Dan. 40 00:02:02,039 --> 00:02:04,017 He's not getting a call. He's making a call, right? 41 00:02:04,041 --> 00:02:05,960 Hi. Yes, uh... 42 00:02:06,043 --> 00:02:08,254 Can you please tell governor chung 43 00:02:08,337 --> 00:02:11,382 that Dan egan is ready for the chung chat? 44 00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:13,009 (Cell phone chimes) 45 00:02:13,092 --> 00:02:15,011 Hi, senator mckensie. How are you? 46 00:02:16,220 --> 00:02:17,638 You really think she'll go? 47 00:02:17,722 --> 00:02:19,473 God, that's such a shame. 48 00:02:19,557 --> 00:02:22,351 No, it means I have absolutely nothing to do. 49 00:02:22,435 --> 00:02:23,644 Oh, I meant for her. 50 00:02:23,728 --> 00:02:28,024 Still, this might mean that we could spend more time together. 51 00:02:28,107 --> 00:02:30,234 Let's take it one day at a time. 52 00:02:30,318 --> 00:02:32,486 - Sweet Jesus. - (Both laughing) 53 00:02:32,945 --> 00:02:35,424 Thank you so much for seeing me at such short notice, Mr. Davison. 54 00:02:35,448 --> 00:02:36,949 Happy to, miss Wilson. 55 00:02:37,033 --> 00:02:39,994 I'm, uh, an ardent admirer of your efficiency and precision. 56 00:02:40,077 --> 00:02:41,888 Oh, well, in that case, let's get right to it. 57 00:02:41,912 --> 00:02:43,706 Excellent. I respect your brevity. 58 00:02:43,789 --> 00:02:45,249 It's almost threatening. 59 00:02:45,333 --> 00:02:47,251 Yes, congressman kosynski. 60 00:02:47,335 --> 00:02:49,170 Or should I say mentor kosynski? 61 00:02:49,253 --> 00:02:51,839 Yes, sir. Well, I always thought of you as a mentor. 62 00:02:51,922 --> 00:02:55,009 The father figure my own dad was too weird and distant to be. 63 00:02:55,092 --> 00:02:56,320 Amy: Like that night that you stayed over 64 00:02:56,344 --> 00:02:58,471 - and we read the papers the next morning? - Uh-huh. 65 00:02:58,554 --> 00:03:00,222 That was really nice. 66 00:03:00,306 --> 00:03:02,683 And I thought, yeah, that is something 67 00:03:02,767 --> 00:03:04,602 that I could do for the rest of my life. 68 00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:06,687 Yeah, well, you know, I like sleep and newspapers 69 00:03:06,771 --> 00:03:08,531 - as much as the next person, but... - Right. 70 00:03:08,606 --> 00:03:09,732 The rest of your life? 71 00:03:09,815 --> 00:03:11,317 You know, you're gonna get bedsores. 72 00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:13,944 I would have no problem finding you a position 73 00:03:14,028 --> 00:03:16,781 within my dream metric team. Sound good? 74 00:03:16,906 --> 00:03:19,450 - Yes, sir. - We are simpatico. 75 00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:21,762 - We have a deal. - Pleasure doing business with you, sir. 76 00:03:21,786 --> 00:03:24,080 Yes, yes. Justice Blackwell, how are you? 77 00:03:24,163 --> 00:03:26,207 Thank you so much for calling me back. 78 00:03:26,874 --> 00:03:28,793 - You fast? - Oh, yeah. 79 00:03:28,918 --> 00:03:30,628 They call me the Washington flash. 80 00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:32,213 (Laughs) I doubt that. 81 00:03:32,296 --> 00:03:33,936 All right, let's get this over with asap. 82 00:03:33,964 --> 00:03:37,301 It's not gonna be easy with this big, gangly piss flap over here who moves like... 83 00:03:37,385 --> 00:03:38,928 Hey, what do you move like, will? 84 00:03:39,011 --> 00:03:41,514 I move as slowly as a Mississippi detective 85 00:03:41,597 --> 00:03:43,641 investigating the murder of a young black man. 86 00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:45,035 (Laughs) That's right. Ready, Mike? 87 00:03:45,059 --> 00:03:47,144 Yeah... oh, right behind you. 88 00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:51,750 Hey, ma'am, you know you're gonna break the president's heart with this news. 89 00:03:51,774 --> 00:03:53,359 Wish I could break his spine. 90 00:03:53,442 --> 00:03:55,903 But I can't, 'cause it's made of jell-o. 91 00:03:55,986 --> 00:03:58,989 Come on, you being veep is the best thing that's ever happened to america. 92 00:03:59,073 --> 00:04:01,409 Gary, it has been shit. 93 00:04:01,492 --> 00:04:04,203 - No, it hasn't. - It has. I'm getting out. 94 00:04:04,495 --> 00:04:06,997 - Oh, madam vice president. - Oh, what did I tell you earlier? 95 00:04:07,081 --> 00:04:08,916 - Again? - Yeah. 96 00:04:08,999 --> 00:04:11,127 Excuse me, Ben. Gonna go see the president. 97 00:04:11,210 --> 00:04:13,295 Uh, no. No, you're not. He's canceled. 98 00:04:13,462 --> 00:04:15,297 And, uh, you're gonna meet with me instead. 99 00:04:15,381 --> 00:04:18,008 Ah, ma'am, that is what I was going to tell you earlier today 100 00:04:18,092 --> 00:04:19,927 - until you told me to... - Fuck off. 101 00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:22,489 Are you finishing my sentence or are you telling me that again? 102 00:04:22,513 --> 00:04:23,931 Both. 103 00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:25,850 Yes, ma'am. 104 00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:28,060 Good. Go ahead. 105 00:04:29,061 --> 00:04:30,479 Congressman... (Laughs) 106 00:04:31,188 --> 00:04:32,690 Wow, you're fast. 107 00:04:33,357 --> 00:04:35,860 Just wondering if you could use a top press guy. 108 00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:39,321 Ha! I really don't have any need for you, Mike. You're kind of obsolete. 109 00:04:39,405 --> 00:04:41,824 You're like a viking stuck in time. 110 00:04:42,199 --> 00:04:45,035 - I have excellent contacts. - Really? 111 00:04:45,119 --> 00:04:47,037 - Very high up people, sir. Very high up. - Oh. 112 00:04:47,163 --> 00:04:49,039 Maybe you can hook me up with charlize theron. 113 00:04:49,165 --> 00:04:50,583 Funny, but I'm being serious, sir. 114 00:04:50,666 --> 00:04:51,750 No, I'm being serious, too. 115 00:04:51,834 --> 00:04:53,019 - I'd like to fuck her. - (Exhales deeply) 116 00:04:53,043 --> 00:04:55,923 Why'd you leave anyway? You get stuck with your dick in the veep's decaf? 117 00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:59,425 (Puffs) No, we just all need new challenges. 118 00:04:59,508 --> 00:05:01,302 We? What, is the whole team leaving? 119 00:05:01,385 --> 00:05:03,053 - No, no. No, sir. - Holy shit. 120 00:05:03,137 --> 00:05:05,639 - She's leaving the ticket. - No, absolutely not. 121 00:05:05,723 --> 00:05:07,141 We had a fucking deal. 122 00:05:07,224 --> 00:05:09,977 I make senate in two years, we run together as a team in six. 123 00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:12,646 - That was the deal. - Why don't you fucking kill yourself, will? 124 00:05:12,730 --> 00:05:15,483 Let me be clear, sir. She may be planning to run in six years 125 00:05:15,566 --> 00:05:16,984 if she was leaving the ticket, 126 00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:19,695 which I have not actually said she will. 127 00:05:19,778 --> 00:05:22,615 Oh, fucking god, thank you for stopping. 128 00:05:22,698 --> 00:05:24,593 - (Panting) - You know what? If I didn't already know 129 00:05:24,617 --> 00:05:26,952 how shitty you are at your job, you just proved it. 130 00:05:27,036 --> 00:05:29,872 I have some very big news, ma'am. 131 00:05:29,955 --> 00:05:31,916 Well, I have huge news. 132 00:05:31,999 --> 00:05:35,628 In fact, I guarantee you that my news is front-page news. 133 00:05:35,711 --> 00:05:38,088 Your news is probably more like a page six, 134 00:05:38,172 --> 00:05:39,673 Kardashian crap news. 135 00:05:39,757 --> 00:05:42,676 Uh, potus knows how this is all going to end, 136 00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:48,098 so he drank the poisoned kool-aid from my very big, blue mug. 137 00:05:48,265 --> 00:05:51,185 - Huh? - He isn't going to run again in two years. 138 00:05:54,438 --> 00:05:55,856 Are you serious? 139 00:05:55,940 --> 00:05:59,652 No, I'm Joan fucking rivers. Of course I'm serious. 140 00:05:59,735 --> 00:06:03,280 Once the party leadership figures out he's not gonna run, 141 00:06:03,364 --> 00:06:06,116 then all the impeachment bullshit is just gonna fade away. 142 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:07,701 So, um... 143 00:06:07,785 --> 00:06:10,704 So why didn't he tell me this? Why are you telling me this? 144 00:06:11,330 --> 00:06:13,666 Because he couldn't stomach the look, like that, 145 00:06:13,749 --> 00:06:15,709 just like that, of unbridled joy. 146 00:06:15,793 --> 00:06:17,836 Ben, I am crying 147 00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:20,548 very quietly on the inside. 148 00:06:20,631 --> 00:06:23,384 While in your mind you're doing pirouettes on his grave. 149 00:06:23,467 --> 00:06:26,613 Oh, don't tell me you're not happy about this. You're finally getting out of here. 150 00:06:26,637 --> 00:06:28,889 Well, it's not the job that's depressing. 151 00:06:28,973 --> 00:06:30,558 Life is depressing. 152 00:06:30,641 --> 00:06:31,809 (Door opens) 153 00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:33,978 Let's go. 154 00:06:37,314 --> 00:06:40,234 No, I've got it. I can do this. I'm fine. 155 00:06:41,443 --> 00:06:42,820 (Suppressed squeal) 156 00:06:43,028 --> 00:06:44,446 (Quietly) Yes! 157 00:06:44,530 --> 00:06:46,323 Fuck! Gosh! 158 00:06:49,201 --> 00:06:50,452 (Clears throat) 159 00:06:52,580 --> 00:06:53,914 Hi, sue. 160 00:06:53,998 --> 00:06:56,678 Uh, we'd like to see the vice president as a matter of some urgency. 161 00:06:56,792 --> 00:06:58,592 - No. - Fuck this, I'm going in the side door. 162 00:06:58,669 --> 00:07:00,313 You do and secret service might break your neck. 163 00:07:00,337 --> 00:07:03,007 - That would be a tragedy. - Yeah? Ma'am. 164 00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:04,425 - Oh, hi, Roger. - Can we talk? 165 00:07:04,508 --> 00:07:07,011 Of course we can talk. Hey, could I have my yogurt, please? 166 00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:09,263 Oh, here. Don't eat it too fast. 167 00:07:09,346 --> 00:07:10,889 Oh, stop it, nervous Nellie. 168 00:07:10,973 --> 00:07:14,101 All right, get me something sloppy with a spoon to eat. 169 00:07:14,184 --> 00:07:15,662 - Do you want some yogurt? - No, thanks. 170 00:07:15,686 --> 00:07:17,163 - You look good, by the way. - Roger: Oh, thanks. 171 00:07:17,187 --> 00:07:18,665 - What, are you working out or what? - Ahh, yeah, 172 00:07:18,689 --> 00:07:21,609 I'm burning calories with the old anxiety diet. 173 00:07:21,692 --> 00:07:23,319 - Oh. - You know, the anxiet. 174 00:07:23,402 --> 00:07:25,755 If you want to get some cardio exercise, you have to have a heart. 175 00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:27,698 I heard a pretty lousy rumor 176 00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:30,868 that you're not running for reelection with potus in two years. 177 00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:32,453 - Oh. - And that would be disturbing 178 00:07:32,536 --> 00:07:34,997 because I kind of need you to run as vp again. 179 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:36,520 - Mmm. - And then I get in the senate 180 00:07:36,582 --> 00:07:39,084 and then you and I run together as a team. 181 00:07:39,168 --> 00:07:41,104 - Remember, that was the deal. - Yeah, I remember that. 182 00:07:41,128 --> 00:07:42,546 Where did you hear this rumor? 183 00:07:42,630 --> 00:07:44,190 Oh, I heard it from the gingerhead man. 184 00:07:44,214 --> 00:07:46,091 The gash with the stash. Mclintock. 185 00:07:46,175 --> 00:07:47,217 What, are you kidding me? 186 00:07:47,301 --> 00:07:50,387 Mike sees knowledge as the enemy. Forget about that. 187 00:07:50,471 --> 00:07:53,974 Then you are running with the president in two years? 188 00:07:54,058 --> 00:07:57,019 I am absolutely running in two years. 189 00:07:57,102 --> 00:08:00,189 And then four years after that, reelection, baby. 190 00:08:01,273 --> 00:08:02,691 What do you mean reelection? 191 00:08:02,775 --> 00:08:05,027 Not reelection. Election at that time. 192 00:08:05,110 --> 00:08:06,820 - Yep. Right. - You and I election. 193 00:08:06,904 --> 00:08:08,530 Wait. But why did you say reelection? 194 00:08:08,614 --> 00:08:10,282 - What? - You said reelection. 195 00:08:10,366 --> 00:08:13,661 Which implies that perhaps something else is going on. 196 00:08:13,744 --> 00:08:15,344 I meant election. You know what I meant. 197 00:08:15,371 --> 00:08:17,539 - But you said reelection. - I meant election, okay? 198 00:08:17,623 --> 00:08:20,042 It's like saying flammable or inflammable. 199 00:08:20,125 --> 00:08:23,087 - It's the same thing. - I smell a fucking rat. 200 00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:25,315 - Oh, stop it. - You know that? I'll tell you what it is, too. 201 00:08:25,339 --> 00:08:26,882 It's this whole administration. 202 00:08:26,965 --> 00:08:28,693 And I'm gonna light a fire under the whole thing. 203 00:08:28,717 --> 00:08:31,345 Then we'll find out whether it's flammable or inflammable. 204 00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:34,139 Roger: Come on, wilbo faggins, let's go. 205 00:08:35,599 --> 00:08:37,851 Okay, where are my beautiful veeple people? 206 00:08:37,935 --> 00:08:38,936 There's one. 207 00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:42,856 I need my veeple to come into my office, please. 208 00:08:42,940 --> 00:08:45,901 Hey, it's j-diddy. Ladies get giddy. 209 00:08:45,984 --> 00:08:49,029 - Jonah. Hey, listen, settle something for me. - Okay. 210 00:08:49,113 --> 00:08:51,740 You like to have sex and you like to travel? 211 00:08:51,824 --> 00:08:53,742 - Yes, ma'am. - Then you can 212 00:08:53,826 --> 00:08:55,119 (mouths) Fuck off. 213 00:08:55,494 --> 00:08:57,246 But I shall be right here if you need me. 214 00:08:57,329 --> 00:08:59,665 Like the mighty oak that stands for... ma'am. 215 00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:04,128 Um, I have something to say. 216 00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:06,255 I've literally no idea what you're gonna say. 217 00:09:06,630 --> 00:09:10,259 I'm not leaving. Potus is leaving. 218 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:13,679 He's not gonna run for a second term. 219 00:09:13,762 --> 00:09:15,180 - I'm gonna run. - Oh, my god! 220 00:09:15,264 --> 00:09:17,641 - I'm gonna run for president! - Yeah! 221 00:09:17,725 --> 00:09:20,018 - That's awesome. - I did not see that coming. 222 00:09:20,144 --> 00:09:23,647 - Selina meyer, she deals 'em fire. Bam! - (Laughing) 223 00:09:23,814 --> 00:09:25,399 Boom! Let's go to the fucking moon! 224 00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:27,317 I was this close to living on my boat. 225 00:09:27,401 --> 00:09:30,612 - Oh, my god. I'm just... - Congratulations, ma'am. 226 00:09:30,779 --> 00:09:36,076 (Stammering) Can you give me some time with my core team? 227 00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:38,454 - Um... (Stutters) - Ed. 228 00:09:38,537 --> 00:09:40,038 - Ed. - Of course. 229 00:09:44,168 --> 00:09:46,253 I feel as though I may have missed something. 230 00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:48,338 If you need to fill me in on that... 231 00:09:48,422 --> 00:09:49,965 Hey, what happened in there? 232 00:09:50,048 --> 00:09:53,552 They're celebrating because you weren't in there. 233 00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:56,597 Gears are already turning. 234 00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:58,974 - I see a light bulb above your head. - Bing! 235 00:09:59,141 --> 00:10:01,018 Okay, now listen, so... 236 00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:02,770 You guys don't need to take otherjobs. 237 00:10:02,853 --> 00:10:04,521 You're here with me. 238 00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:09,109 Uh, I've accepted a number of posts. 239 00:10:09,193 --> 00:10:11,528 - Did you say a number? - Currently four. 240 00:10:11,779 --> 00:10:13,259 Wow. You're gonna cancel them, right? 241 00:10:13,322 --> 00:10:15,115 Oh, clearly. Yeah. Oh, yeah. 242 00:10:15,199 --> 00:10:17,451 I've said no to everything, ma'am. I am here for you. 243 00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:19,286 - Good. - Hey, ma'am. 244 00:10:19,369 --> 00:10:20,996 I took a job also. 245 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:27,920 - I didn't mean you, Gary. - I know. 246 00:10:28,003 --> 00:10:29,379 What job? 247 00:10:30,088 --> 00:10:32,341 I'm going into business with Dana 248 00:10:32,424 --> 00:10:36,011 and we're doing d&g cheese overseas. 249 00:10:36,094 --> 00:10:38,013 - Cheese? - And it's overseas. 250 00:10:38,096 --> 00:10:40,682 Wait a minute. You're choosing dead milk over me? 251 00:10:40,766 --> 00:10:42,035 No, don't say that. That's not true. 252 00:10:42,059 --> 00:10:44,659 Well, you're just gonna have to tell her you're not gonna do that. 253 00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:46,980 I can't. I can't tell her that. 254 00:10:47,064 --> 00:10:48,398 Why not? Are you scared of her? 255 00:10:48,649 --> 00:10:50,234 - Yeah. - Okay. 256 00:10:51,568 --> 00:10:56,323 Gary, you cannot let this woman have control over you, okay? 257 00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:59,493 Seriously, you have got to stick up for yourself. 258 00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:01,912 - You gotta work for me. - Right. Right. 259 00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:03,497 (Whispers) She scares me a lot. 260 00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:06,083 All right, call her in and I'm gonna talk to her. 261 00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:07,709 - Okay? - Okay, yeah. Got it. 262 00:11:07,793 --> 00:11:09,503 Ma'am, science fair in 30 minutes. 263 00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:12,714 Okay, you go deal with that and you cover for Gary, okay? 264 00:11:12,798 --> 00:11:14,424 You trust me with that leviathan? 265 00:11:14,508 --> 00:11:16,426 Uh, ma'am, I left my BlackBerry in... 266 00:11:16,510 --> 00:11:18,679 Okay, now listen, I got this science fairthing. 267 00:11:18,762 --> 00:11:21,098 So I want to make my speech 268 00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:23,058 - a little bit more presidential. - Yeah. 269 00:11:23,141 --> 00:11:26,645 Like I'm Marilyn Monroe, just jfk the fuck out of me. 270 00:11:26,728 --> 00:11:28,689 - Oh, I got something. - You do? 271 00:11:28,772 --> 00:11:30,816 - Yeah, I do. I got something. - Selina: Fantastic. 272 00:11:30,899 --> 00:11:33,193 I'm just completely in the dark. If... 273 00:11:33,277 --> 00:11:35,696 I'm gonna go call Andrew. Mmm, mmm, mmm. 274 00:11:35,779 --> 00:11:38,490 - Uh, uh... - No, no, no, it's all about crazy money, ame. 275 00:11:38,574 --> 00:11:40,409 He's got the crazy money 276 00:11:40,492 --> 00:11:42,095 and I'm crazy enough to go get it. (Laughs) 277 00:11:42,119 --> 00:11:44,079 As long as it's strictly business. 278 00:11:45,956 --> 00:11:47,499 Andy? It's me. 279 00:11:47,583 --> 00:11:48,792 It's Lee. 280 00:11:48,876 --> 00:11:51,295 Can you come here? 281 00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:53,755 (Selina laughing) 282 00:11:56,925 --> 00:11:58,302 Dana: Oh, there he is. 283 00:11:59,094 --> 00:12:01,680 Hey, quit being so hot. You're gonna melt all my cheese. 284 00:12:01,763 --> 00:12:03,640 - Hi, you. - Hi, sweetie. Hi. 285 00:12:03,724 --> 00:12:04,725 Hey, what's wrong? 286 00:12:04,808 --> 00:12:06,977 You look like you did when I asked you to talk dirty. 287 00:12:07,144 --> 00:12:09,730 - You were just like, "I'm in you right now." - I know, I know. 288 00:12:09,813 --> 00:12:12,149 Stop, stop. I wanted to talk to you about something. 289 00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:13,734 Selina's gonna stay. 290 00:12:13,817 --> 00:12:15,736 Okay. Well, that ship has sailed. 291 00:12:15,819 --> 00:12:18,071 You're on the good ship pecorino now. 292 00:12:18,155 --> 00:12:19,865 Yeah, I'm gonna stay, too, I think. 293 00:12:19,948 --> 00:12:22,367 - No. No. - Okay, listen... 294 00:12:22,451 --> 00:12:24,244 - Where's the toscano? - It's at d12. 295 00:12:24,328 --> 00:12:26,413 That's right over there, okay? She needs me. 296 00:12:26,496 --> 00:12:28,206 It's like I'm her central nervous system. 297 00:12:28,290 --> 00:12:30,330 Honey, she'll get another bag bunny, I just know it. 298 00:12:30,375 --> 00:12:32,920 No, Brett, it's further down. That's the sardo, buddy. 299 00:12:33,003 --> 00:12:35,380 Okay, I'm not a bag bunny. 300 00:12:35,464 --> 00:12:37,883 It's like I'm selina's soul mate over there. 301 00:12:37,966 --> 00:12:39,886 Okay, I love the stinking shit out of you, Gary. 302 00:12:39,968 --> 00:12:41,136 I know you do. 303 00:12:41,219 --> 00:12:43,055 She doesn't love you, okay? She doesn't care. 304 00:12:43,138 --> 00:12:44,908 - You're just a guy that does a job for her. - She does care. 305 00:12:44,932 --> 00:12:46,975 - That's not true. - Who's more important to you? 306 00:12:47,059 --> 00:12:49,937 - Me or her? - Okay, that choice, there's no way... 307 00:12:50,020 --> 00:12:51,247 Do we have any with black truffle? 308 00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:53,440 That's f15. Okay? F15. 309 00:12:53,523 --> 00:12:56,169 Listen, the choice you're giving me between you and her, that's impossible. 310 00:12:56,193 --> 00:12:58,046 Sorry, not black truffle. I meant white truffle. 311 00:12:58,070 --> 00:13:00,924 That's next to the black truffle, okay. What the fuck is wrong with you, Brett? 312 00:13:00,948 --> 00:13:03,951 This is not a big place, is it? It's not a big place. 313 00:13:04,034 --> 00:13:05,714 I'm sorry. Would you guys like some space? 314 00:13:05,786 --> 00:13:08,038 - Yeah! - No! Stay right where you are. 315 00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:09,748 Okay, listen, she wants to talk to you. 316 00:13:09,831 --> 00:13:11,351 - She wants to explain this to you. - Fine. 317 00:13:11,375 --> 00:13:12,793 - Okay? Please? - I'll go. 318 00:13:12,876 --> 00:13:14,687 I'm not afraid to fight for you, Gary. That's the truth. 319 00:13:14,711 --> 00:13:15,963 No, no, no. Bah, bah, bah, bah. 320 00:13:16,046 --> 00:13:17,965 Let's literally not fight, all right? 321 00:13:18,048 --> 00:13:20,092 Okay? That's good cheese. 322 00:13:23,428 --> 00:13:25,222 Amy, this is really happening. 323 00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:27,641 You know, listen, just ignore that earlier me. 324 00:13:27,724 --> 00:13:29,364 The little house on the prairie bullshit. 325 00:13:29,393 --> 00:13:33,063 No, updated me, totally career focused and shooting for the white house. 326 00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:36,233 - Of course, and I am right behind/beside you. - Mmm-hmm. 327 00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:38,652 You, chief of staff to the president, 328 00:13:38,735 --> 00:13:42,114 - me, chief of sexiness and spooning. - (Amy typing) 329 00:13:42,197 --> 00:13:46,910 Yeah, but, um, as I said, the focus right now has got to be... 330 00:13:46,994 --> 00:13:49,830 - (Knock on door) - Hey, Amy, can I talk to you about something? 331 00:13:50,622 --> 00:13:51,957 Accidental dick move. 332 00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:55,335 I, uh, had to write selina's speech for the science fair so fast 333 00:13:55,419 --> 00:13:59,089 that I, uh, think I plagiarized a speech that I wrote for chung. 334 00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:01,216 So here's selina's hard copy 335 00:14:01,299 --> 00:14:03,719 and chung's is already up on his YouTube. 336 00:14:03,802 --> 00:14:06,763 I met a young woman name juanita. 337 00:14:06,847 --> 00:14:10,058 - Oh, here's the bit. - It's not about what america means to me. 338 00:14:10,142 --> 00:14:12,269 - It's what I mean to america. - (Ch uckles) 339 00:14:12,394 --> 00:14:15,439 Because america would be nothing without Americans. 340 00:14:15,522 --> 00:14:17,024 Jesus, you wrote this shit? 341 00:14:17,107 --> 00:14:19,609 Yeah, it's like a noun-verb gumbo. 342 00:14:19,776 --> 00:14:21,796 So it's the fictitious girl. I gave her the same girl. 343 00:14:21,820 --> 00:14:24,239 Although I did change it from juanita to Anita. 344 00:14:24,322 --> 00:14:25,425 Oh, that's a brilliant plan. 345 00:14:25,449 --> 00:14:27,093 Why don't you change america to shmamerica? 346 00:14:27,117 --> 00:14:28,118 Yeah, I'm calling Mike. 347 00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:30,401 No, I already tried him. It went straight to voice mail. 348 00:14:30,454 --> 00:14:34,082 Selina: I met this young scientist named Anita. 349 00:14:34,458 --> 00:14:36,710 - And I said to her... - You got a charger? 350 00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:39,046 - Shh. I'm trying to watch. - Okay, champ. 351 00:14:39,129 --> 00:14:41,256 And she said, "it's not what science means to me, 352 00:14:41,339 --> 00:14:44,301 "it's what I mean to science." 353 00:14:44,426 --> 00:14:47,387 Let's do this one first. This is a map-able social media cloud for pets. 354 00:14:47,471 --> 00:14:49,389 - Oh, I'm impressed with that. - Home run. 355 00:14:49,473 --> 00:14:51,075 Listen, let me tell you something. Three words. 356 00:14:51,099 --> 00:14:52,851 Caucus, primary, money. 357 00:14:52,934 --> 00:14:54,061 - Right? - Go big. 358 00:14:54,144 --> 00:14:56,563 - No, four words. Money again. Right? - (Laughs) 359 00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:58,583 'Cause that's what we need. Mike, we need a lot of money. 360 00:14:58,607 --> 00:15:00,734 This is Rachel and Erica over here, ma'am. 361 00:15:00,817 --> 00:15:02,462 - Oh, wow, what is this? - It's an ant kibbutz. 362 00:15:02,486 --> 00:15:04,905 Okay. I would love to look at that. 363 00:15:04,988 --> 00:15:06,698 Oh, and I just had a thought. 364 00:15:06,782 --> 00:15:09,034 - Remember that Iowa steak fry thing? - Mmm-hmm. 365 00:15:09,117 --> 00:15:10,410 - We need to go to that. - Yeah. 366 00:15:10,494 --> 00:15:12,013 Seriously, 'cause there's a lot of money there. 367 00:15:12,037 --> 00:15:14,748 - And steak. - And steak. I love it. (Laughs) 368 00:15:14,831 --> 00:15:16,934 So, I know what you're thinking, madam vice president. 369 00:15:16,958 --> 00:15:19,252 - You do? Uh-oh. - A confined space, right? 370 00:15:19,336 --> 00:15:20,587 But it's a humane environment. 371 00:15:20,670 --> 00:15:23,673 - Well, from up here, they look like ants. - (Mike laughs) 372 00:15:24,216 --> 00:15:25,717 - That's a joke. - (Girls laugh) 373 00:15:25,801 --> 00:15:27,886 - Because they are ants. - This way, ma'am. 374 00:15:27,969 --> 00:15:30,597 - This is some kind of robot. - Really? That's it? 375 00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:33,850 - Would you excuse me? - Hey, Joe fucking slow. 376 00:15:33,934 --> 00:15:35,769 You ever think about answering your phone? 377 00:15:35,852 --> 00:15:38,396 Chill out. I lost my charger. You got one? 378 00:15:38,522 --> 00:15:41,167 You're at a science fair. One of these kids could build you a charger. 379 00:15:41,191 --> 00:15:42,275 What's the problem? 380 00:15:42,359 --> 00:15:44,003 Ben's been trying to get in touch with the veep all day. 381 00:15:44,027 --> 00:15:45,147 All right, well, she's busy. 382 00:15:45,195 --> 00:15:46,655 Sorry there, Todd. Just real quick. 383 00:15:46,738 --> 00:15:48,073 - Oh. - Matters of state. 384 00:15:48,156 --> 00:15:50,575 Uh, sir, yes, I have the vice president for you. It's Ben. 385 00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:52,953 - Give her a little space. - Hi, Ben. How's it going? 386 00:15:53,036 --> 00:15:55,664 Furlong has been spraying all over town 387 00:15:55,831 --> 00:15:58,959 that you think potus is gonna quit. 388 00:15:59,042 --> 00:16:03,004 What? I didn't say anything to that crusty ass clown. 389 00:16:03,088 --> 00:16:05,048 I might have mixed up a couple words, but... 390 00:16:05,132 --> 00:16:07,692 Well, now potus can't say that he won't be running for reelection 391 00:16:07,759 --> 00:16:09,636 because it'll look like he's being pushed out. 392 00:16:09,719 --> 00:16:13,890 So now our spineless, flip-floppy fuck bag is staying. 393 00:16:13,974 --> 00:16:16,768 - Oh, boy. - Is everything okay? 394 00:16:16,852 --> 00:16:19,532 I've got to get out of here before I set fire to one of these nerds. 395 00:16:19,604 --> 00:16:21,273 - Okay, okay, let's go. - That's my phone. 396 00:16:21,356 --> 00:16:23,608 - Thank you. Thank you. - Madam vice president. 397 00:16:23,692 --> 00:16:26,319 - No. - We're so sorry. She really likes it, 398 00:16:26,403 --> 00:16:28,047 but unfortunately she's out of time, you guys. 399 00:16:28,071 --> 00:16:30,866 But this man right here is gonna take over for her. 400 00:16:30,949 --> 00:16:34,411 Don't fuck this up. This is a public relations nightmare waiting to happen. 401 00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:37,080 Promise them everything. Thank you, kids. 402 00:16:37,164 --> 00:16:38,582 (Siren wailing) 403 00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:46,351 - Ma'am, are you... - (Elevator bell dings) 404 00:16:57,017 --> 00:16:58,602 (Muffled screaming) 405 00:17:00,103 --> 00:17:01,543 Dan: I thought you'd like this spot. 406 00:17:01,605 --> 00:17:04,566 DC's current go-to place for these off-the-record meets. 407 00:17:04,649 --> 00:17:07,777 Hmm, good choice. Under the radar, as we used to say in the military. 408 00:17:07,861 --> 00:17:09,779 Yeah, I think other people say that, too. 409 00:17:09,863 --> 00:17:12,240 It's about loyalty to the truth. 410 00:17:12,324 --> 00:17:14,242 And to the American people. 411 00:17:14,326 --> 00:17:16,870 Furlong and Doyle have turned their guns on the president. 412 00:17:16,953 --> 00:17:19,206 That's the worst kind of friendly fire. 413 00:17:19,289 --> 00:17:21,041 The unfriendly kind. 414 00:17:21,124 --> 00:17:22,935 Yeah, oh, Danny, I just want to let you know, uh, 415 00:17:22,959 --> 00:17:25,045 one of your anecdotes may have accidentally 416 00:17:25,128 --> 00:17:27,047 made its way into a veep speech via me. 417 00:17:27,130 --> 00:17:29,108 And I'd really appreciate it if you could let this one slide. 418 00:17:29,132 --> 00:17:31,718 Selina's a plagiarist? That's perfect. 419 00:17:31,801 --> 00:17:33,386 You just handed me a silver bullet. 420 00:17:33,470 --> 00:17:34,888 And as you know, I'm a good shot. 421 00:17:34,971 --> 00:17:38,600 I might back away, though, from calling her a liar. 422 00:17:38,683 --> 00:17:41,403 After all, you didn't really meet anyone named juanita who said that. 423 00:17:41,436 --> 00:17:44,064 No, I did. As I recall, it went something like, uh... 424 00:17:44,147 --> 00:17:47,234 (Spanish accent) "Mr. Ching, I come to america to work. 425 00:17:47,317 --> 00:17:50,362 "I send money home, but life here is so hard for me." 426 00:17:50,445 --> 00:17:52,447 I didn't know you did voices. 427 00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:53,531 (Laughs) 428 00:17:56,034 --> 00:17:57,577 Sue, come here. 429 00:17:57,827 --> 00:18:00,330 - Where's Dan? - He stepped out. 430 00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:01,873 Um... (Clears throat) 431 00:18:02,374 --> 00:18:06,628 Potus has decided that he is, uh, staying, 432 00:18:06,711 --> 00:18:10,423 and he is going to seek reelection after all. 433 00:18:10,507 --> 00:18:12,008 Of course he wants to stay. 434 00:18:12,092 --> 00:18:13,260 Could you just not... 435 00:18:15,011 --> 00:18:16,846 So he's running for a second term, 436 00:18:16,930 --> 00:18:19,099 which means I won't be running for a first term. 437 00:18:19,182 --> 00:18:22,269 So there's no point in my staying. I'm just gonna leave. 438 00:18:22,352 --> 00:18:25,272 - So he changed his mind again? - Selina: Yeah. 439 00:18:25,355 --> 00:18:27,899 Jesus, the inside of his head must be like an escher drawing. 440 00:18:27,983 --> 00:18:29,859 Sue: Ma'am, Andrew is here to see you. 441 00:18:29,943 --> 00:18:32,195 Oh, good, more hurt and disappointment. 442 00:18:32,279 --> 00:18:34,281 There is one other thing that, uh... 443 00:18:34,364 --> 00:18:36,741 And I'm so sorry to let you down, 444 00:18:36,825 --> 00:18:39,661 but I'm gonna stay with selina. 445 00:18:40,954 --> 00:18:44,708 You think you get to decide on whether or not I hire you? 446 00:18:45,375 --> 00:18:48,670 There are plenty of dans out there, Dan. Look around. 447 00:18:50,213 --> 00:18:52,299 (Scoffs) Sorry, kid. 448 00:18:52,382 --> 00:18:54,634 Hey, don't call me kid, okay? 449 00:18:54,718 --> 00:18:56,970 I mean, a, you're not Jimmy cagney, all right? 450 00:18:57,053 --> 00:18:59,222 And b, we're practically the same fucking age. 451 00:18:59,306 --> 00:19:01,867 Oh, then it must really hurt to know how much more I've achieved in life. 452 00:19:01,891 --> 00:19:04,561 - Decorated veteran. President-in-waiting. - (Sighs) 453 00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:06,896 Oh, okay. Do you see this? See this right here? 454 00:19:06,980 --> 00:19:10,209 You know what this is? This is me playing "fuck you" on the world's biggest cello. 455 00:19:10,233 --> 00:19:12,652 Oh, I think someone just suicide bombed their own future. 456 00:19:12,736 --> 00:19:14,672 Oh, god, you know, if I had a dollar for every time 457 00:19:14,696 --> 00:19:16,072 you mentioned that goddamn war, 458 00:19:16,156 --> 00:19:18,384 I would buy a tank and I would blow your fat fucking head off. 459 00:19:18,408 --> 00:19:21,077 - Wow. Well, I'm sorry, Dan. - (Cell phone chimes) 460 00:19:21,161 --> 00:19:24,039 I hate to leave a man down, but I'll see you around. 461 00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:27,667 Danny. Danny, hey. 462 00:19:28,043 --> 00:19:29,919 Are you fucking kidding me? 463 00:19:30,003 --> 00:19:31,838 You brought me over here for nothing? 464 00:19:31,921 --> 00:19:34,341 Are you really talking to me like this right now? 465 00:19:34,424 --> 00:19:37,719 - I have shit to do. - I am in a bad way. 466 00:19:37,802 --> 00:19:40,055 Honestly, it's so out of line. 467 00:19:40,138 --> 00:19:42,223 - Selina: It's so out of line. - It is. 468 00:19:42,307 --> 00:19:43,747 You get fucked by everybody in DC... 469 00:19:43,808 --> 00:19:46,478 Your friends, your enemies, 470 00:19:46,561 --> 00:19:48,563 your colleagues, your fucking family. 471 00:19:48,646 --> 00:19:50,106 That's Washington, DC, for you. 472 00:19:50,190 --> 00:19:51,900 DC. District of cunts. 473 00:19:51,983 --> 00:19:54,944 Ma'am, you remember Sally, t.J. And Paul. 474 00:19:55,028 --> 00:19:57,822 This is my nerd herd. And I mean that affectionately. 475 00:19:57,906 --> 00:19:59,532 Jonah, this is a restricted area. 476 00:19:59,616 --> 00:20:01,534 We're like area 51 except more restricted. 477 00:20:01,618 --> 00:20:03,554 - Jonah, can you come here just for a second? - Yeah. 478 00:20:03,578 --> 00:20:06,164 Um, do you want to fill me in as to what's going on right now? 479 00:20:06,247 --> 00:20:08,625 Yes, ma'am. Your abrupt exit from the science fair. 480 00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:11,586 Mike needed a PR fix, so you have to give these guys a west wing tour. 481 00:20:11,669 --> 00:20:12,879 - What? - Uh, ma'am. 482 00:20:12,962 --> 00:20:14,047 This has got to stop. 483 00:20:14,130 --> 00:20:16,150 You should be aware that the president is on his way. 484 00:20:16,174 --> 00:20:17,860 Hey, why don't we go sit on these chairs for a second? 485 00:20:17,884 --> 00:20:19,278 What did you say? The president is coming here? 486 00:20:19,302 --> 00:20:20,720 - Yes. - Why? He never comes here. 487 00:20:20,804 --> 00:20:23,223 I don't know. Information-wise, I am becalmed. 488 00:20:23,306 --> 00:20:26,226 - The president is coming here? - Gary, Dana just cleared security. 489 00:20:26,309 --> 00:20:27,394 This is anarchy. 490 00:20:27,477 --> 00:20:29,729 Hey, ma'am, is now a bad time to talk to Dana? 491 00:20:29,813 --> 00:20:32,232 - Yeah! - Okay, let me just go fix that. 492 00:20:32,315 --> 00:20:33,358 I'll fix that. 493 00:20:36,820 --> 00:20:38,905 - Hey. Hey. - Gary who I'm gonna marry. 494 00:20:38,988 --> 00:20:41,157 - Fiancé in the house. - Oh, ooh! 495 00:20:41,241 --> 00:20:42,742 This is not a good time, baby. 496 00:20:42,826 --> 00:20:44,994 - I brought the pecorino duo grande sampler. - Oh. 497 00:20:45,078 --> 00:20:47,747 - Shaved and grated. - Okay, I'll just give this to her. 498 00:20:47,831 --> 00:20:49,749 But why? Oh, my god, is it selina? 499 00:20:49,833 --> 00:20:51,310 Right? She doesn't like me, is that it? 500 00:20:51,334 --> 00:20:53,670 - Are you kidding? She loves you. - Then what is it? 501 00:20:53,753 --> 00:20:54,754 Shh, shh. 502 00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:58,091 - Potus is coming. - Oh, my god! 503 00:20:58,174 --> 00:21:00,486 There's a lot of security and he doesn't like a lot of people around. 504 00:21:00,510 --> 00:21:03,263 He should get the basket. Right? We'll get him to tweet about it. 505 00:21:03,346 --> 00:21:05,032 It'll be great publicity. You know I'm right. 506 00:21:05,056 --> 00:21:06,951 Is he gonna drop me from the ticket? Is that what's going on? 507 00:21:06,975 --> 00:21:08,476 - He's gone postal. - I have no idea. 508 00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:09,644 - Ma'am. - What? 509 00:21:09,727 --> 00:21:12,480 - You've got to mellow yellow. - Don't tell me not to panic. 510 00:21:12,564 --> 00:21:14,107 I know how to freak out, okay? 511 00:21:14,190 --> 00:21:16,943 Everybody can just shut the shit up. 512 00:21:17,026 --> 00:21:18,862 - I got to think. - Okay. 513 00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:22,407 - We know what she's like. - Andrew, don't talk to me. 514 00:21:22,490 --> 00:21:25,386 Ma'am, should I get Jonah to get the kids... I'll get Jonah to get the kids out. 515 00:21:25,410 --> 00:21:27,012 Jonah, why don't you put the kids in my office? 516 00:21:27,036 --> 00:21:29,497 - Mike. Mike. - Is the president coming? 517 00:21:29,581 --> 00:21:33,209 - Mike! Mike! Mike! - Ma'am, I'm coming. 518 00:21:33,293 --> 00:21:34,613 - I'm here. I'm here. - Come here. 519 00:21:34,669 --> 00:21:36,296 - We got to make a statement. - Okay. 520 00:21:36,379 --> 00:21:39,090 Because I think potus is coming here to kick me off the ticket. 521 00:21:39,174 --> 00:21:41,402 And I've got to make a statement saying I'm leaving the ticket 522 00:21:41,426 --> 00:21:42,802 before he drops me from it. 523 00:21:42,886 --> 00:21:44,530 I've got to jump before we get stabbed in the back. 524 00:21:44,554 --> 00:21:46,473 - Danny chung is making an announcement. - What? 525 00:21:46,556 --> 00:21:48,766 I was proud to serve in the military. 526 00:21:48,850 --> 00:21:50,810 I'm proud to serve as a governor. 527 00:21:50,894 --> 00:21:53,354 Today I've set up an exploratory committee 528 00:21:53,438 --> 00:21:55,815 - to look into whether in a couple of years... - Okay. 529 00:21:55,899 --> 00:21:59,652 I might be of use serving at an even higher level. 530 00:22:00,028 --> 00:22:02,530 Does she make you happy? Because I make you happy. 531 00:22:02,614 --> 00:22:04,365 Of course you make me happy, baby. 532 00:22:04,449 --> 00:22:06,969 - Ma'am, we're gonna have to ask you to leave. - Oh, what is this? 533 00:22:06,993 --> 00:22:08,661 Oh, my god. What's going on? 534 00:22:08,745 --> 00:22:10,788 We are gonna talk about this when we get home. 535 00:22:10,872 --> 00:22:12,850 - You are my diamond. - Dana: I am a diamond in the rough. 536 00:22:12,874 --> 00:22:14,894 - I know you're a diamond. - Dana: Get your hands off me. 537 00:22:14,918 --> 00:22:16,586 I know what I'm gonna do. 538 00:22:16,669 --> 00:22:18,296 I'm gonna run against chung. 539 00:22:18,379 --> 00:22:20,507 Okay? I'm gonna take myself off the ticket. 540 00:22:20,590 --> 00:22:23,384 I'll run against chung and I'll run against potus. 541 00:22:23,468 --> 00:22:25,470 It'll be like a political massacre. 542 00:22:25,553 --> 00:22:27,531 Quit freaking out. You need to get your head together. 543 00:22:27,555 --> 00:22:28,782 What do you mean I need to get my head together? 544 00:22:28,806 --> 00:22:30,034 The president's gonna be here any second. 545 00:22:30,058 --> 00:22:31,351 Lookie, iookie, iookie, lookie. 546 00:22:31,434 --> 00:22:33,019 - This is for you. - What? 547 00:22:33,102 --> 00:22:35,063 It's like a pecorino peace offering. 548 00:22:35,146 --> 00:22:36,790 What the crippling fuck is going on with you? 549 00:22:36,814 --> 00:22:38,942 - I got rid of Dana. - You've got to get out of here. 550 00:22:39,025 --> 00:22:41,736 - Get out of here. - I have potus incoming! 551 00:22:41,819 --> 00:22:44,239 - I have potus incoming! - Make a statement, Mike. 552 00:22:44,322 --> 00:22:45,842 - About what? About what? - Everything. 553 00:22:45,907 --> 00:22:47,907 All possible statements that you can even think of. 554 00:22:47,951 --> 00:22:49,929 Okay, I'll come up with something. I'll come up with something. 555 00:22:49,953 --> 00:22:52,306 - Let's go say hi to potus. - Don't talk to me like I'm a crazy person. 556 00:22:52,330 --> 00:22:53,770 I didn't mean to. It came out weird. 557 00:22:53,831 --> 00:22:56,668 Jonah: Make a hole, yo. Potus coming through. Make a hole. 558 00:22:58,169 --> 00:22:59,712 You're not the president. 559 00:22:59,796 --> 00:23:02,048 No, but you're not Justin bieber either, are you, sport? 560 00:23:02,131 --> 00:23:04,259 Ma'am. Potus is here. 561 00:23:04,342 --> 00:23:05,677 Where? 562 00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:07,053 Has he been miniaturized? 563 00:23:07,136 --> 00:23:09,389 Uh, he's right in that room. 564 00:23:09,472 --> 00:23:11,152 Would you care to join him in your office? 565 00:23:13,017 --> 00:23:14,185 (Clicks tongue) 566 00:23:14,561 --> 00:23:16,646 - Am I about to get whacked? - No, no, no. 567 00:23:16,729 --> 00:23:20,066 No, it's good to see you again. Take care. 568 00:23:20,149 --> 00:23:23,361 Your boss wants to see you. Don't keep him waiting. 569 00:23:23,444 --> 00:23:24,445 (Sighs) 570 00:23:26,656 --> 00:23:28,366 What's going on here? 571 00:23:28,449 --> 00:23:30,577 Is it bring a disparate person to work day? 572 00:23:30,660 --> 00:23:33,746 Uh, selina is about to get a potal bullet through the head 573 00:23:33,830 --> 00:23:36,249 and you are all about to be unemployed and homeless. 574 00:23:36,332 --> 00:23:38,686 But, Amy, I don't want you to worry. You can crash at my place. 575 00:23:38,710 --> 00:23:40,587 We're so fucked. We're so fucked. 576 00:23:40,670 --> 00:23:42,672 We've fucked DC over so many different ways, 577 00:23:42,755 --> 00:23:44,299 no one's gonna hire us now. 578 00:23:45,008 --> 00:23:46,884 How am I gonna pay for my fucking boat? 579 00:23:46,968 --> 00:23:48,803 Enough about the fucking boat, Mike. 580 00:23:48,886 --> 00:23:51,240 Take a flare gun, put it in your mouth and blow your head off. 581 00:23:51,264 --> 00:23:53,064 Listen to yourselves. You people are monsters. 582 00:23:53,141 --> 00:23:56,161 Ed, you really need to can it right now. Do not comment on this office, okay? 583 00:23:56,185 --> 00:23:58,271 Hey, sue, don't talk to me that way, okay? 584 00:23:58,354 --> 00:24:00,315 You're the secretary to the vice president. 585 00:24:00,398 --> 00:24:03,693 - That's like being Garfunkel's roadie, okay? - (Gasps) 586 00:24:03,776 --> 00:24:06,696 So this is selina's team in action. 587 00:24:06,779 --> 00:24:08,990 - That explains a lot to me. - Likewise. 588 00:24:09,073 --> 00:24:10,634 Yeah, well, they're actually better than my team. 589 00:24:10,658 --> 00:24:12,869 My team is just fucking horrible. 590 00:24:17,248 --> 00:24:18,333 Ma'am? 591 00:24:21,461 --> 00:24:24,464 I think I know what you're gonna say, but I don't wanna jinx it. 592 00:24:24,547 --> 00:24:26,591 Potus is not 593 00:24:27,050 --> 00:24:29,344 gonna be running for a second term. 594 00:24:29,427 --> 00:24:31,179 - Gary: Oh, my god! - I'm gonna run. 595 00:24:31,262 --> 00:24:32,555 Whoa, whoa! 596 00:24:32,639 --> 00:24:34,307 Ma'am, give me the straight poop here. 597 00:24:34,390 --> 00:24:36,267 - Is this for real? - It's totally for real. 598 00:24:36,351 --> 00:24:38,071 Thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you. 599 00:24:38,102 --> 00:24:40,146 - Can we make it public? - No, no, no, no. 600 00:24:40,229 --> 00:24:41,457 We got to wait for potus to make a statement. 601 00:24:41,481 --> 00:24:42,523 Okay. Okay. Okay. 602 00:24:42,607 --> 00:24:44,025 (All laughing) 603 00:24:47,695 --> 00:24:48,905 Mmm. 604 00:24:51,324 --> 00:24:52,325 (Laughing) 605 00:24:52,408 --> 00:24:54,452 Ma'am, of all the places that I have liaised, 606 00:24:54,577 --> 00:24:56,371 I have enjoyed liaising here the most. 607 00:24:56,454 --> 00:24:59,123 Okay, guys, we don't want to get ahead of ourselves here. 608 00:24:59,207 --> 00:25:01,542 - We've got a lot of work. - Amy: Yep, a long road ahead. 609 00:25:01,626 --> 00:25:03,306 - Uh, right? - And we're going all the way. 610 00:25:03,378 --> 00:25:05,314 And for the record, ma'am, I always believed in you. 611 00:25:05,338 --> 00:25:08,758 Well, I have to say that I believed in me, too. 612 00:25:08,841 --> 00:25:10,343 - Amy: Of course. - Yeah. 613 00:25:10,426 --> 00:25:12,178 Potus, he knew the gig was up 614 00:25:12,261 --> 00:25:15,556 because Doyle, furlong, chung 615 00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:17,350 all turned the party against him. 616 00:25:17,433 --> 00:25:19,852 I mean, it was just, you know, rip-otus. 617 00:25:19,936 --> 00:25:22,647 - Just complete sinking shit. - (All laughing) 618 00:25:22,730 --> 00:25:26,025 No, he had to go. Together we are going to make history. 619 00:25:26,109 --> 00:25:27,985 We're going to the white house, ma'am. 620 00:25:28,069 --> 00:25:29,362 Boom, boom, pow. 621 00:25:30,446 --> 00:25:33,199 Oh, yeah. Yeah. Wow. 622 00:25:33,366 --> 00:25:35,076 (All laughing) 623 00:25:36,661 --> 00:25:38,538 My brain is at your service, ma'am. 624 00:25:38,621 --> 00:25:40,373 - We'll see. - Ma'am, I am so psyched. 625 00:25:40,456 --> 00:25:42,792 And the science fair speech was plagiarized from chung. 626 00:25:42,875 --> 00:25:44,419 Just wanted you to know that up front. 627 00:25:44,502 --> 00:25:46,879 - What? What? What? What? - Yep. 628 00:25:46,963 --> 00:25:48,464 - You're kidding. - No. 629 00:25:48,548 --> 00:25:51,426 - And so it begins. - Yeah, with a kick to the tits. 630 00:25:51,509 --> 00:25:54,387 So, Dan, you're gonna have to clean up your own shitty diaper. 631 00:25:54,470 --> 00:25:56,389 - Got it? Oh, wait a minute. - Not a problem. 632 00:25:56,472 --> 00:25:58,850 You know what? We got to talk about the campaign, don't we? 633 00:25:58,933 --> 00:26:00,893 - Okay. I'm right behind you. - Okay, great. 634 00:26:00,977 --> 00:26:03,104 Gary, call Dana. She's called 90 times. 635 00:26:03,187 --> 00:26:05,273 - Gary: Shit. - Talk to her, then sedate her. 636 00:26:06,399 --> 00:26:09,152 Ma'am, the president has left the building. 637 00:26:09,235 --> 00:26:11,362 - Who gives a flying fuck? - (All laughing) 638 00:26:11,446 --> 00:26:14,532 - Amy: Not yet. - Sorry. I'm sorry, but I couldn't help it. 639 00:26:14,615 --> 00:26:16,951 Ma'am, west wing. 640 00:26:17,034 --> 00:26:18,786 - This is your fault. - No, no. 641 00:26:18,870 --> 00:26:21,873 I didn't arrive soon enough to be able to cut out the cancer. 642 00:26:21,956 --> 00:26:25,376 Oh, no, I think you arrived with a man bag filled with tumors. 643 00:26:25,460 --> 00:26:27,628 That was potus's problem. 644 00:26:27,712 --> 00:26:30,047 Because he relied on those two guys. 645 00:26:30,131 --> 00:26:32,967 One a burned-out loser, the other a conniving robot. 646 00:26:33,050 --> 00:26:35,136 - Crazy. - Bad combo, yeah. 647 00:26:36,679 --> 00:26:39,265 - Oh, hello, kids. - Come on in. 648 00:26:39,348 --> 00:26:41,976 Oh, my god, have you been here this whole time? 649 00:26:42,059 --> 00:26:43,770 M&ms for the scientists. 650 00:26:44,103 --> 00:26:45,703 So come with me 'cause I've got an idea. 651 00:26:45,772 --> 00:26:47,523 I might show you around the west wing. 652 00:26:47,607 --> 00:26:49,525 - (Gary screams) - Would you? 653 00:26:49,609 --> 00:26:51,277 - Do you like government? - All: Yes. 654 00:26:51,360 --> 00:26:53,279 - And do you like politics? - Yeah. 655 00:26:53,362 --> 00:26:55,823 Oh, good. Because politics is about people, don't you think? 656 00:26:55,907 --> 00:26:57,825 - Yeah. - Selina: It is when you think about it. 657 00:26:57,909 --> 00:27:00,453 'Cause without people, you can't have politics. 658 00:27:00,536 --> 00:27:03,623 See how crowded this is? I mean, it's very claustrophobic. 659 00:27:03,706 --> 00:27:07,418 I think that the president should only have her staff here. 660 00:27:07,502 --> 00:27:09,212 Or his staff. You know, their staff. 661 00:27:09,295 --> 00:27:11,672 I mean, I've never seen... Like that one we just passed, 662 00:27:11,756 --> 00:27:14,276 I don't know who that person is. I've never seen that person in my life. 663 00:27:14,300 --> 00:27:15,635 No business being here. 664 00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:18,638 Selina did not plagiarize Danny chung's speech. 665 00:27:18,721 --> 00:27:20,348 Mike's already told you that. 666 00:27:20,431 --> 00:27:22,141 No, I am not plagiarizing Mike. 667 00:27:22,391 --> 00:27:25,019 I know it's boring, but, hey, I'm boring. 668 00:27:25,102 --> 00:27:28,064 Those curtains there are going. 669 00:27:28,147 --> 00:27:30,066 Wow. Those are hideous. 670 00:27:30,149 --> 00:27:33,486 - We're still together, right? - Ed, I haven't got time. 671 00:27:33,569 --> 00:27:36,197 Time for us or do you mean time as a general concept? 672 00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:38,574 Hi, Terry. I am sorry I missed your call. 673 00:27:38,658 --> 00:27:41,786 Hi, Dana. Hey. Hey, listen. 674 00:27:41,911 --> 00:27:43,621 I just wanted to say that... 675 00:27:43,704 --> 00:27:46,415 Okay. Okay. If you've got something to say, you go first. 676 00:27:46,499 --> 00:27:49,627 Was your mom plagiarizing the Bible when she said, "oh, god, oh, god"? 677 00:27:49,710 --> 00:27:52,672 The president's chair is a couple inches higher 678 00:27:52,755 --> 00:27:54,674 than the rest of the chairs in the oval office. 679 00:27:54,757 --> 00:27:57,093 And I used to think, "oh, my god, that's so ridiculous." 680 00:27:57,176 --> 00:27:58,594 But now I think it makes sense 681 00:27:58,678 --> 00:28:00,531 because I think it's a good psychological trick. 682 00:28:00,555 --> 00:28:03,474 Yeah, that's what I... Oh, you're not finished? Go ahead. 683 00:28:03,558 --> 00:28:06,352 Oh, she loved the cheese. (Laughs) 684 00:28:07,103 --> 00:28:08,354 Lovedit 685 00:28:08,437 --> 00:28:10,982 when I grow up, I want to be vice presidentjust like you. 686 00:28:11,065 --> 00:28:13,359 Ah, no, you don't. You want to be president.