1 00:00:18,394 --> 00:00:20,229 Sue: No, Rachel, I'm sorry. 2 00:00:20,438 --> 00:00:23,524 But the vp's schedule has skyrocketed since the interview. 3 00:00:23,608 --> 00:00:26,235 Actually, I'm not sorry. I'm not sure why I just said that. 4 00:00:26,986 --> 00:00:28,196 Boy, I'll tell you something. 5 00:00:28,279 --> 00:00:31,365 That TV interview was a big gamble, but it really paid off. 6 00:00:31,449 --> 00:00:33,034 - Look at this. - What is it? 7 00:00:33,117 --> 00:00:35,369 They're calling you the no-bs vp. 8 00:00:35,453 --> 00:00:37,205 - Damn right they are. - (Laughs) 9 00:00:37,288 --> 00:00:38,789 I mean, I lied and everything, 10 00:00:38,873 --> 00:00:40,625 - but it sounded true, at least. - Uh-huh. 11 00:00:40,708 --> 00:00:41,918 Dan: Mood is good. 12 00:00:42,001 --> 00:00:45,421 Just need six more years like today, and they will vote us potus. 13 00:00:45,504 --> 00:00:48,382 Hey, ma'am, remember tomorrow you've got that get moving fun run. 14 00:00:48,466 --> 00:00:49,467 Selina: Yeah. 15 00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:50,652 You probably should prepare, don't you think? 16 00:00:50,676 --> 00:00:52,386 - It's a 10k. - Yeah. 17 00:00:52,470 --> 00:00:54,722 - I can run that thing in a suit of armor. - Okay. 18 00:00:54,805 --> 00:00:56,925 Ma'am, I shouldn't go with you to this donors' brunch. 19 00:00:56,974 --> 00:00:59,018 We don't want to set off any alarm bells. 20 00:00:59,101 --> 00:01:00,770 Oh, yeah. You know what? Me neither. 21 00:01:00,853 --> 00:01:04,398 Okay, I'll go kiss some hateful billionaire ass on my own. 22 00:01:04,482 --> 00:01:05,733 Give them all donor boners. 23 00:01:05,816 --> 00:01:07,860 - Everyone wants a piece of you, ma'am. - Yeah. 24 00:01:07,944 --> 00:01:08,986 - (Phone ringing) - Via me. 25 00:01:09,070 --> 00:01:10,738 I need to go talk to Ben right now. 26 00:01:11,155 --> 00:01:12,156 Andale! 27 00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:13,741 Let's go. 28 00:01:13,824 --> 00:01:16,577 Male reporter: We haven't heard anything from the president so far. 29 00:01:16,661 --> 00:01:20,373 We've got rumors of a whistleblower high up in the state department. 30 00:01:21,707 --> 00:01:22,750 What? What are you doing? 31 00:01:22,833 --> 00:01:24,473 - I don't want people to see that. - Okay. 32 00:01:25,753 --> 00:01:27,421 They should put those in a dispenser 33 00:01:27,505 --> 00:01:29,090 - outside Ben's office, right? - Yeah. 34 00:01:29,173 --> 00:01:32,426 Male reporter: White house staff are iawyering up in case of subpoenas... 35 00:01:32,510 --> 00:01:34,762 Ben. Ben? 36 00:01:34,845 --> 00:01:37,685 We've got the president's own party talking of a potential challenger... 37 00:01:37,765 --> 00:01:40,434 Hey, why doesn't potus just make an apology? 38 00:01:40,518 --> 00:01:43,604 I mean, I did and I was only, like, suicidal for a week. Huh? 39 00:01:43,771 --> 00:01:46,607 Oh, because he's a mess, all right? 40 00:01:46,691 --> 00:01:49,277 He's got a cave full of bats in his skull. 41 00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:51,279 I took the heat for the spy. 42 00:01:51,362 --> 00:01:54,407 - Don't I get any credit for that at all? - Yeah. 43 00:01:54,490 --> 00:01:59,287 So now we've got the house judiciary committee subpoenaing us senseless. 44 00:01:59,370 --> 00:02:00,370 And on top of that, 45 00:02:00,413 --> 00:02:05,960 we got a rumor going around that says that there's a challenger inside the party. 46 00:02:06,043 --> 00:02:08,045 - What? Who? - I don't know. 47 00:02:08,129 --> 00:02:10,798 One of gaddafi's sons. They're polling better. 48 00:02:10,881 --> 00:02:12,466 So thank you very much for your help, 49 00:02:12,550 --> 00:02:15,094 but would you quit being so goddamned proactive? 50 00:02:15,177 --> 00:02:16,613 What are you going to do for an encore? 51 00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:18,806 Blow the opening day pitch out of your ass? 52 00:02:18,889 --> 00:02:20,308 Ah, that's lovely. 53 00:02:20,391 --> 00:02:23,019 Is this what this is going to be like for the next two years? 54 00:02:23,102 --> 00:02:24,228 Oh, my, yes. 55 00:02:24,895 --> 00:02:26,647 We are at defcon fuck. 56 00:02:26,731 --> 00:02:28,441 (Sirens blaring) 57 00:02:30,151 --> 00:02:32,111 Gary: Hey, ma'am, I got flash cards on the donors. 58 00:02:32,153 --> 00:02:33,571 No, thanks. I got it. 59 00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:37,867 Peter spiddock sleeps with his gun, Sandra O'Neill fricking hates fracking, 60 00:02:37,950 --> 00:02:42,872 Sidney purcell, talking to him, it's like being stuck in a sewer pipe filled with dead rats. 61 00:02:42,955 --> 00:02:44,790 He's got money to burn. 62 00:02:44,874 --> 00:02:47,293 Not that donating to your campaign is burning money. 63 00:02:47,376 --> 00:02:51,005 I know what this is all about. This is a political prick tease today. 64 00:02:51,088 --> 00:02:53,090 Yeah, and we're about to meet a bunch of pricks. 65 00:02:53,174 --> 00:02:55,384 Selina: Yeah. Challenger schmallenger. 66 00:02:55,468 --> 00:02:56,886 I mean, if this brunch goes well, 67 00:02:56,969 --> 00:03:01,182 my campaign launchpad is going to be made of solid fucking gold. 68 00:03:01,265 --> 00:03:02,767 (All laughing) 69 00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:04,226 And then in six years, 70 00:03:04,310 --> 00:03:07,980 - it's gonna be Ms. President. - (All laughing) 71 00:03:08,064 --> 00:03:10,775 - Yeah! - We're gonna need a bigger bag! 72 00:03:10,858 --> 00:03:13,152 - Ovaries in the oval office! - (Laughs) 73 00:03:13,235 --> 00:03:16,113 The west womb! (Laughs) 74 00:03:16,197 --> 00:03:17,365 What? 75 00:03:17,448 --> 00:03:18,824 - What? - You know, like a womb. 76 00:03:18,908 --> 00:03:20,708 Like a woman has a womb that the baby comes... 77 00:03:20,785 --> 00:03:21,785 Mike: Oh, pathetic. 78 00:03:21,827 --> 00:03:23,537 Politico is announcing that Danny chung 79 00:03:23,621 --> 00:03:27,333 has just uploaded his "what I'm listening to" playlist on spotify. 80 00:03:27,416 --> 00:03:29,210 Hmm, we need to do a playlist. 81 00:03:29,293 --> 00:03:31,545 - No, we don't. - Oh, we absolutely do. 82 00:03:31,629 --> 00:03:33,464 - Get Dan. - No, I can help with the songs. 83 00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:35,758 You know, my niece loves Katy Perry. 84 00:03:35,841 --> 00:03:37,176 Just like I said, get Dan. 85 00:03:37,635 --> 00:03:38,719 (Classical music playing) 86 00:03:38,803 --> 00:03:40,888 - There he is. - Dj Dan. 87 00:03:40,971 --> 00:03:42,616 - Thanks for the playlist. - Oh, my pleasure. 88 00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:45,851 Seems like it's playing pretty well, too, with the oldies and the young chungers. 89 00:03:45,935 --> 00:03:47,561 The young chungers. 90 00:03:47,645 --> 00:03:49,647 - It's like you think in hashtags. - You like that? 91 00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:54,360 All right, maybe we can call the over 65ers the granny chungs. 92 00:03:55,611 --> 00:03:57,923 - Something. No, I'll keep working on that one. - (Cell phone ringing) 93 00:03:57,947 --> 00:03:58,948 Oh, shit. 94 00:03:59,031 --> 00:04:01,784 - You need to take that. Keep her happy. - Tall order. 95 00:04:01,867 --> 00:04:04,328 - You smell that? Money. - (Laughs) 96 00:04:04,662 --> 00:04:05,955 - Hey, Dan? - Ma'am. 97 00:04:06,038 --> 00:04:08,290 Have you heard anything about this Danny chung playlist? 98 00:04:08,374 --> 00:04:09,434 Dan: I just caught that, actually. 99 00:04:09,458 --> 00:04:10,960 Some smart stuff on there, too. 100 00:04:11,043 --> 00:04:13,754 Nas for the young folks, some Dean Martin for the retirees. 101 00:04:13,838 --> 00:04:19,260 He just got one of his butt droids to do it, which is why I want you to do it for me, okay? 102 00:04:19,343 --> 00:04:21,470 Your mix is my command. 103 00:04:21,554 --> 00:04:24,074 Come on, sue, help me out with this, okay? You're good at this stuff. 104 00:04:24,098 --> 00:04:25,683 You're young, you're hip, you're hop. 105 00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:27,526 What about Jimmy cliff? The harder they come? 106 00:04:28,561 --> 00:04:30,688 Look, I have no idea who that is, so, no. 107 00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:33,065 Uh, Elvis costello, peace, love and understanding? 108 00:04:33,149 --> 00:04:34,775 - What? - No, no, and no. 109 00:04:34,859 --> 00:04:36,527 Are you getting these all from your iPod? 110 00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:39,280 - No. I think it's in a cloud. - Oh. 111 00:04:39,363 --> 00:04:41,003 You know, do you think that Danny chung's 112 00:04:41,031 --> 00:04:43,742 the one who's getting ready to bust a move in two years? 113 00:04:43,826 --> 00:04:47,496 Well, the way potus is going, he'll probably stumble into a war sooner or later. 114 00:04:47,580 --> 00:04:49,660 Chung will reenlist and hopefully get himself killed. 115 00:04:49,707 --> 00:04:52,394 I don't understand why I don't get the same respect as he does, you know? 116 00:04:52,418 --> 00:04:55,838 - Shit! - Oh, what about that? Respect. 117 00:04:55,921 --> 00:04:57,607 - Sue? - You know, the aretha Franklin song? 118 00:04:57,631 --> 00:04:58,966 - Yes. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 119 00:04:59,049 --> 00:05:01,427 - That would be great. - Hey, Mike. Mike. 120 00:05:01,886 --> 00:05:03,888 - Oh! Oh, my god. - Duchess is down. 121 00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:05,073 - Oh. - Martin: Duchess is down. Yellow, yellow. 122 00:05:05,097 --> 00:05:07,284 - I repeat, duchess is down. Go, Rick. - Man: Go, go, go, go! 123 00:05:07,308 --> 00:05:09,268 (Gasps) Oh, god, your face! 124 00:05:09,351 --> 00:05:11,037 - Man: We're gonna need a medic. - Is it bad? 125 00:05:11,061 --> 00:05:12,229 - No. - Yes! 126 00:05:12,313 --> 00:05:13,647 You're fine, ma'am. You're fine. 127 00:05:13,731 --> 00:05:15,983 Madam vice president, if you'd just stand still, please. 128 00:05:16,066 --> 00:05:17,127 Just calm down, Martin. Okay? 129 00:05:17,151 --> 00:05:18,336 - She's fine. It's not a terrorist. - I'm fine. 130 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:20,797 - Just lock up the hallway, guys. It's all fine. - Lock it up. Lock it up. 131 00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:21,822 - Ma'am. - Yes? 132 00:05:21,906 --> 00:05:22,966 - Here's what you do. - Okay. 133 00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:25,010 Don't move. We're gonna have to cut your clothes off you. 134 00:05:25,034 --> 00:05:26,636 - Huh? - I walked through a glass door before. 135 00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:27,700 This is what you do, okay? 136 00:05:27,745 --> 00:05:29,764 - You're kidding. - No, I was fine because I was drunk. 137 00:05:29,788 --> 00:05:31,123 - You're gonna be okay. - Oh. 138 00:05:31,207 --> 00:05:32,333 Shit, the donors. 139 00:05:32,416 --> 00:05:34,496 Just go tell them I'm gonna be a couple minutes late. 140 00:05:35,252 --> 00:05:36,837 - Go tell them that, okay? - Okay, okay. 141 00:05:36,921 --> 00:05:39,340 - All right. What are you... no! Mike! - Sorry, sorry, sorry. 142 00:05:39,423 --> 00:05:40,925 - Oh, shit! - Oh, my god! 143 00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:42,319 - I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - Don't... don't... 144 00:05:42,343 --> 00:05:44,178 - Go another way, Mike. - Okay. Okay. 145 00:05:44,261 --> 00:05:47,515 - Ma'am, are you hurting? Are you in pain? - Uh... 146 00:05:47,598 --> 00:05:48,849 I don't know. 147 00:05:48,933 --> 00:05:50,184 Do you have a mirror? 148 00:05:51,435 --> 00:05:53,229 - No. - Yes, you do. 149 00:05:53,312 --> 00:05:55,856 I've got some St. John's wort for pain relief if you want it. 150 00:05:55,940 --> 00:05:57,220 I don't want to take medication. 151 00:05:57,274 --> 00:05:58,293 It's herbal. It's from the earth. 152 00:05:58,317 --> 00:06:00,086 - You can take six, it won't affect you. - (Both gasp) 153 00:06:00,110 --> 00:06:02,363 - (Both whimper) - Look at that. 154 00:06:02,571 --> 00:06:04,281 Ah! Ow! 155 00:06:07,952 --> 00:06:09,620 Hiya. Hey. 156 00:06:09,954 --> 00:06:14,416 Uh, the vice president apologizes, but she's slightly delayed. 157 00:06:14,500 --> 00:06:17,878 She's stuck on a call with the Australian ambassador. 158 00:06:17,962 --> 00:06:19,838 The Australian ambassador? 159 00:06:19,922 --> 00:06:21,358 Oh, that's good. I've never heard that one before. 160 00:06:21,382 --> 00:06:23,467 Sidney purcell, always a pleasure, sir. 161 00:06:23,551 --> 00:06:25,719 No, it's not, actually, but you get marks for trying. 162 00:06:25,803 --> 00:06:31,350 But the vice president is in great spirits. She's buoyantly waiting to meet you all. 163 00:06:31,433 --> 00:06:33,811 And I will go check, see if I can interrupt that call. 164 00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:35,896 Like I said, it's a call. 165 00:06:36,313 --> 00:06:39,900 Strength is being flexible and steadfast. 166 00:06:39,984 --> 00:06:42,945 The living Willow, not the dead oak. 167 00:06:43,028 --> 00:06:47,825 I learned in Iraq that the road to respect between me and my men ran two ways. 168 00:06:48,075 --> 00:06:51,579 In order to get respect, you have to give respect. 169 00:06:51,662 --> 00:06:57,001 When I look out, I see many faces, but I see only one nation with one aspiration, 170 00:06:57,084 --> 00:07:01,672 and that aspiration is to one day hope to dream together. 171 00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:04,341 - I met a young woman... - No. 172 00:07:04,425 --> 00:07:06,260 Named juanita in Saint Paul the other day. 173 00:07:06,343 --> 00:07:08,178 - Oh, crap. - Dan NY: And I asked... 174 00:07:08,262 --> 00:07:10,723 - You know what she said to me? - Oh. 175 00:07:11,890 --> 00:07:13,892 - Dan. - This is awkward. 176 00:07:13,976 --> 00:07:15,696 Like catching your sister's eye at an orgy. 177 00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:18,188 Well, my sister would never be at an orgy. Too uptight. 178 00:07:18,272 --> 00:07:21,312 She would want health records from everyone and just kill the momentum and... 179 00:07:21,358 --> 00:07:22,419 Okay. I'm disappointed in you. 180 00:07:22,443 --> 00:07:24,004 This is the kind of behavior I would expect from myself. 181 00:07:24,028 --> 00:07:25,029 But from you? Uh-huh. 182 00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:26,952 Let's cut the crap. We're both here for chung. 183 00:07:26,989 --> 00:07:29,700 So we both jump together. You know, butch and Sundance. 184 00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:30,951 Don't they both die? 185 00:07:31,035 --> 00:07:33,346 - No, not when theyjump. They die at the end. - (Cell phone ringing) 186 00:07:33,370 --> 00:07:34,622 - (Oh. {Beeps) 187 00:07:35,164 --> 00:07:36,165 Hey, sue. 188 00:07:36,248 --> 00:07:39,293 Dan, the vice president just walked through a glass door. 189 00:07:39,376 --> 00:07:41,837 She walked through a glass door? What is that, code? 190 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:43,797 No, unfortunately, it is not, Dan. 191 00:07:43,881 --> 00:07:45,007 It is a literal description 192 00:07:45,090 --> 00:07:46,192 - of what just happened. - (Mouth I ng) 193 00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:48,218 And she's not too badly hurt. Thanks for asking. 194 00:07:48,302 --> 00:07:50,429 She walked through a glass door? 195 00:07:50,512 --> 00:07:53,032 Yeah, that woman has become a living metaphor of her own career. 196 00:07:54,183 --> 00:07:55,392 (Grunting) 197 00:07:56,393 --> 00:07:58,145 Just make sure you rest today, okay? 198 00:07:58,228 --> 00:08:00,939 I feel like one of those old used footballs 199 00:08:01,023 --> 00:08:02,023 that they fixed up 200 00:08:02,066 --> 00:08:03,293 - for the kids at an orphanage. - (Knock on door) 201 00:08:03,317 --> 00:08:04,443 - (Laughing) - (Door opens) 202 00:08:04,693 --> 00:08:06,445 Good to see you've calmed down. 203 00:08:06,528 --> 00:08:08,906 Ma'am, plenty of rest and no 10k run tomorrow. 204 00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:10,658 - Okay? - Well, I don't know about that. 205 00:08:10,741 --> 00:08:13,327 -Hey. 206 00:08:13,410 --> 00:08:15,162 Uh, we told everyone you were delayed. 207 00:08:15,245 --> 00:08:17,182 Um, but we're gonna have to cancel this thing, okay? 208 00:08:17,206 --> 00:08:18,683 No. Mike, what are you talking about? 209 00:08:18,707 --> 00:08:20,084 I can't cancel my destiny. 210 00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:21,561 Ma'am, look at you. You're wearing a robe. 211 00:08:21,585 --> 00:08:22,646 Unless you want to go down there 212 00:08:22,670 --> 00:08:24,564 and sing them a chorus of look at me, I'm Sandra Dee, 213 00:08:24,588 --> 00:08:25,714 you can't go downstairs. 214 00:08:25,798 --> 00:08:28,175 Okay, um, I'll go ahead and go. 215 00:08:28,258 --> 00:08:29,986 - Mmm-hmm. - Thank you very much for your help. 216 00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:31,345 - Mum's the word? - Oh, yes. 217 00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:33,597 - Good. - What would I even say? 218 00:08:33,681 --> 00:08:35,933 We'll just tell them what happened and reschedule. 219 00:08:36,058 --> 00:08:37,434 Oh! Ooh! 220 00:08:38,143 --> 00:08:39,144 - Jesus. - Oh, god. 221 00:08:39,228 --> 00:08:40,521 I'm canceling. I'm canceling. 222 00:08:40,688 --> 00:08:42,272 (Panting) 223 00:08:45,693 --> 00:08:47,444 - Okay, where is she? - I don't know. 224 00:08:47,528 --> 00:08:50,698 I guess we just follow the trail of her blood and Gary's tears. 225 00:08:50,781 --> 00:08:52,533 - Oh, hey. - How bad is she? 226 00:08:52,616 --> 00:08:54,451 She's fine. It's just superficial cuts. 227 00:08:54,535 --> 00:08:56,412 Did you give her any painkillers or... 228 00:08:56,495 --> 00:08:59,123 I didn't want to do that because she's already on St. John's wort. 229 00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:00,934 I think I got that off a catholic schoolgirl once. 230 00:09:00,958 --> 00:09:02,418 So why can't she take anything else? 231 00:09:02,501 --> 00:09:04,336 Well, uh, it can react badly with the body 232 00:09:04,420 --> 00:09:07,589 if she's already on immunosuppressants, beta-blockers, or antidepressants. 233 00:09:07,673 --> 00:09:09,776 - Oh, okay, fine. She's not on any of those. - (Cell phone chimes) 234 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:12,886 - I've really got to go. Catch you guys later. - Yep, thank you. 235 00:09:12,970 --> 00:09:15,180 Amy: Well, she is on antidepressants. Dan: Yep. 236 00:09:15,264 --> 00:09:16,890 After you. 237 00:09:16,974 --> 00:09:18,851 See? You made that look so easy. 238 00:09:18,934 --> 00:09:22,187 Hey, I'm sorry this isn't the presidential suite, ma'am. (Chuckles) 239 00:09:22,271 --> 00:09:24,940 Oh, it doesn't matter, Gary. 240 00:09:25,023 --> 00:09:26,942 Who has the presidential suite? 241 00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:28,652 I heard Russell Crowe. 242 00:09:28,736 --> 00:09:31,447 - Russell Crowe, gladiator. - Yeah. 243 00:09:31,530 --> 00:09:33,323 - "|'|| be back." - (Laughing) 244 00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:35,826 - You know who would love this robe? - Mmm. Who? 245 00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:37,077 - Ben. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 246 00:09:37,161 --> 00:09:39,329 Can you imagine him in this with his big mug? 247 00:09:39,413 --> 00:09:40,831 -Yep, yep... walking around? 248 00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:41,957 He'd love that. 249 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:43,751 (Both laughing) 250 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:53,927 - Come on, sit here. - Okay, that's nice. 251 00:09:54,011 --> 00:09:55,304 - Yeah. - Thank you, ma'am. 252 00:09:55,387 --> 00:09:57,681 I don't really know anything about you, you know? 253 00:09:57,765 --> 00:09:59,433 You're kind of a mystery man. 254 00:09:59,516 --> 00:10:01,518 Ooh. (Chuckles) Hmm. 255 00:10:02,186 --> 00:10:05,314 - Where'd you grow up? - Birmingham, Alabama. 256 00:10:05,397 --> 00:10:08,233 - You did not. - (In southern accent) I did too! I did! 257 00:10:08,692 --> 00:10:11,337 - Are you close to your parents? - (In normal accent) Close to my mom. 258 00:10:11,361 --> 00:10:14,448 - My dad always wanted a man for a son, so... - Oh, yeah. 259 00:10:14,531 --> 00:10:17,302 - But it's a different generation. - It is a different generation. It's true. 260 00:10:17,326 --> 00:10:20,370 They're about to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary. 261 00:10:20,454 --> 00:10:21,955 - (Gasps) Oh. - Four-o. 262 00:10:22,039 --> 00:10:23,957 They're gonna have a huge blowout. 263 00:10:24,041 --> 00:10:25,185 What do you mean? Like a party? 264 00:10:25,209 --> 00:10:27,628 - Massive party. Massive. - (Gasps) Oh. 265 00:10:27,711 --> 00:10:29,671 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's really... - Can I come? 266 00:10:30,339 --> 00:10:33,133 - What? - Could... can I come? 267 00:10:33,217 --> 00:10:34,468 Are you serious? 268 00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:36,791 Is that completely inappropriate for me to invite myself? 269 00:10:36,845 --> 00:10:38,305 Oh, my god, no. 270 00:10:38,388 --> 00:10:40,140 No. They... 271 00:10:40,224 --> 00:10:42,476 - I would love that. Are you kidding? - (Knock on door) 272 00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:44,269 - Really? - Yes. 273 00:10:44,353 --> 00:10:48,106 That would solve all of my validation issues with my dad. 274 00:10:48,190 --> 00:10:49,983 Ma'am. Uh, how are you? 275 00:10:50,067 --> 00:10:51,193 Look, Amy, watch this. 276 00:10:51,276 --> 00:10:53,654 Look how tiny I can make myself. Watch this. 277 00:10:53,737 --> 00:10:54,905 (Giggling) 278 00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:58,242 But the donor meeting has been canceled, yes? 279 00:10:58,325 --> 00:10:59,645 Selina: I'm not doing that thing. 280 00:10:59,701 --> 00:11:01,328 Seriously, screw all those people. 281 00:11:01,411 --> 00:11:04,623 God, I hope Iran drops a nuke on DC. 282 00:11:04,873 --> 00:11:06,875 - Gary: Ooh. - Wouldn't that solve a lot of issues? 283 00:11:06,959 --> 00:11:09,211 Except Kent wouldn't go anywhere. He'd still be around. 284 00:11:09,294 --> 00:11:11,630 - He's like an undead cockroach with his... - (Laughing) 285 00:11:11,713 --> 00:11:13,131 - (Both laughing) - It's true. 286 00:11:13,215 --> 00:11:17,261 He's got that blank look. I bet he doesn't even have a come face. 287 00:11:18,303 --> 00:11:20,639 - Can you imagine fucking that guy? - Whoa. 288 00:11:22,683 --> 00:11:25,269 Amy, you have such pretty blonde hair. 289 00:11:25,435 --> 00:11:26,436 Doesn't she? 290 00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:28,480 So pretty. 291 00:11:28,647 --> 00:11:30,274 (Classical music playing) 292 00:11:31,108 --> 00:11:32,860 Uh, hi, everyone. Good morning again. 293 00:11:32,943 --> 00:11:36,989 Unfortunately, the vice president is still stuck on a phone call with Australia, 294 00:11:37,072 --> 00:11:40,325 so she's going to have to postpone this morning's meet and greet breakfast, okay? 295 00:11:40,409 --> 00:11:41,660 We're very sorry. 296 00:11:42,119 --> 00:11:45,914 Mike, you know, in the southern hemisphere, the bullshit actually flows the other way. 297 00:11:45,998 --> 00:11:47,040 Did you know that? 298 00:11:47,124 --> 00:11:48,709 - The Australia thing is real. - Yeah. 299 00:11:48,792 --> 00:11:51,086 - What the fuck? - Okay, listen to me. 300 00:11:51,169 --> 00:11:53,064 There's been an incident with the vice president. 301 00:11:53,088 --> 00:11:55,591 - Can you keep this under wraps? - Yeah. What? 302 00:11:55,674 --> 00:11:57,217 She's walked through a glass door. 303 00:11:57,301 --> 00:11:58,927 - She walked through a glass door? - Shh. 304 00:11:59,011 --> 00:12:01,054 What, she just stumbled into a solid piece of glass? 305 00:12:01,138 --> 00:12:02,306 - Yes. - (Laughing) 306 00:12:03,932 --> 00:12:06,018 That's amazing. 307 00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:10,731 I guess it's funny because we've all done it at one point. 308 00:12:10,814 --> 00:12:12,274 Man: I haven't. 309 00:12:12,357 --> 00:12:14,127 I pushed someone through a plate glass door once. 310 00:12:14,151 --> 00:12:15,819 That was fucking hilarious. 311 00:12:15,903 --> 00:12:17,154 Stop laughing. 312 00:12:17,988 --> 00:12:19,823 - Is she okay? - Mmm-hmm. 313 00:12:20,032 --> 00:12:21,158 Just cuts. 314 00:12:21,283 --> 00:12:25,495 You are liaison to the vp, right? That's your liaison d'étre? 315 00:12:25,579 --> 00:12:27,247 Uh, I was born to liaise, sir. 316 00:12:27,331 --> 00:12:30,542 Then why can't you tell me about what the vp was doing 317 00:12:30,626 --> 00:12:33,003 when she walked into a glass fucking door? 318 00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:36,590 Okay, well, the vp's office can be very insubordinate. 319 00:12:36,673 --> 00:12:40,594 I mean, they insubord me all the time. You know that they call me jonad? 320 00:12:40,677 --> 00:12:43,430 I mean, that is tantamount to calling the president jonad. 321 00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:44,723 No, it's not. 322 00:12:44,806 --> 00:12:46,850 He's the president, you're jonad. 323 00:12:46,934 --> 00:12:49,186 Now get in there and liaise the truth out of sue, 324 00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:52,165 or I'll make sure that name sticks so hard, it ends up on your gravestone. 325 00:12:52,189 --> 00:12:53,482 Yes, sir. 326 00:12:55,817 --> 00:12:57,402 Hello there, Susan. 327 00:12:57,486 --> 00:12:59,696 Name's not Susan, it's sue, jonad. 328 00:12:59,780 --> 00:13:01,448 Okay, and my name isn't jonad! 329 00:13:01,531 --> 00:13:04,618 - It's Jonah. Do not disrespect me on this, sue. - Ben: Whoa, whoa, whoa. 330 00:13:04,701 --> 00:13:08,455 No one here is disrespecting you, jonad. 331 00:13:08,538 --> 00:13:10,040 Now go earn your name change. 332 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,752 - Sue. - Sir. 333 00:13:13,835 --> 00:13:16,254 What was the vice president doing at that hotel this morning? 334 00:13:17,047 --> 00:13:21,051 Meet and greet with the American teachers association. 335 00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:26,181 If I call the ata, they would confirm that she was meeting and greeting them? 336 00:13:26,974 --> 00:13:28,475 Uh, couldn't say. 337 00:13:28,558 --> 00:13:34,564 If you can't tell me what she was doing, maybe you can tell me what she wasn't doing. 338 00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:39,444 The vice president was not at a brunch with campaign donors. 339 00:13:39,528 --> 00:13:41,780 I would hope that she was not. 340 00:13:41,863 --> 00:13:43,573 Othennise, I'm not sure 341 00:13:43,699 --> 00:13:48,328 if I wouldn't be within my rights not to launch a drone strike right now. 342 00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:51,289 I got lost in the double negative, sir. What? 343 00:13:51,456 --> 00:13:53,000 I'm fuckin' furious. 344 00:13:53,709 --> 00:13:54,793 Jonad! 345 00:13:54,876 --> 00:13:56,962 - Yes, sir. - Get over to that hotel. 346 00:13:57,045 --> 00:13:59,631 Cut your face off and give it to the vp if you have to. 347 00:13:59,715 --> 00:14:01,174 Just get her to talk to the press. 348 00:14:01,258 --> 00:14:02,843 Say she is not the challenger. 349 00:14:02,926 --> 00:14:03,966 I won't let you down, sir. 350 00:14:04,261 --> 00:14:05,345 - Hey. - Yeah. 351 00:14:05,429 --> 00:14:10,183 - I'm really excited for that party. - I am, too. We'll dance. We'll get our dance on. 352 00:14:10,267 --> 00:14:12,227 (Both vocalizing) 353 00:14:12,436 --> 00:14:14,229 - Dance on. - (Laughing) 354 00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:16,815 (Panting) 355 00:14:16,898 --> 00:14:18,751 Why are you guys so tense? She's completely chilled. 356 00:14:18,775 --> 00:14:20,277 She's out of her fucking mind. 357 00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:22,612 She's coming to my parents' 40th wedding anniversary. 358 00:14:22,696 --> 00:14:24,007 - Yeah, exactly, Gary. - (Knock on door) 359 00:14:24,031 --> 00:14:26,658 She's out of her fucking mind. 360 00:14:26,742 --> 00:14:28,702 Hey, ma'am. I canceled the donor breakfast, 361 00:14:28,785 --> 00:14:31,431 but I did have to come clean about you walking through the glass door. 362 00:14:31,455 --> 00:14:34,041 Greatjob, asshat. Now everyone's gonna know. 363 00:14:34,124 --> 00:14:36,269 Everyone's gonna find out she walked through a glass door, Dan, 364 00:14:36,293 --> 00:14:39,629 because she looks like she walked through a fucking glass door. 365 00:14:39,713 --> 00:14:41,506 - Yeah, check this out. - (Mike laughs) 366 00:14:41,590 --> 00:14:43,030 - What's his problem? - I don't know. 367 00:14:43,091 --> 00:14:44,384 Get over here, gingerbread. 368 00:14:44,968 --> 00:14:47,048 You know what? That St. John's wort that you gave her 369 00:14:47,095 --> 00:14:49,014 is reacting to her antidepressants. 370 00:14:49,097 --> 00:14:52,517 What are you talking about? It's herbal. It's from the earth. 371 00:14:52,601 --> 00:14:55,145 - So are mushrooms, dipshit. - Okay, that's illegal drugs. 372 00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:56,497 - Feel this. Feel this. - The guns? 373 00:14:56,521 --> 00:14:57,647 - Jesus. - Argh. 374 00:14:57,731 --> 00:14:59,858 - Okay. Hey! - I'll hurt ya. 375 00:15:00,150 --> 00:15:02,360 - You're in a good mood. - (Laughs) I am. 376 00:15:02,444 --> 00:15:04,404 - How are you doing? - So-so, you know? 377 00:15:04,488 --> 00:15:07,074 Not great, but trying to keep things on an even keel. 378 00:15:07,157 --> 00:15:10,660 - Hey, what about that boat of yours? - I can't sell it. Nobody wants to buy her. 379 00:15:10,744 --> 00:15:12,662 How much do you want for her? 380 00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:15,832 Honestly, I would take half just to get rid of the damn thing. 381 00:15:15,916 --> 00:15:17,292 I'll give you all of it. 382 00:15:17,918 --> 00:15:19,586 - You really want to buy my boat? - Yeah. 383 00:15:19,669 --> 00:15:21,088 Shake on it, magic Mikey. 384 00:15:21,171 --> 00:15:22,482 - You're gonna buy my boat? - I am. 385 00:15:22,506 --> 00:15:24,758 - Congratulations! - Congratulations to you. 386 00:15:24,841 --> 00:15:25,842 You just got a boat. 387 00:15:25,926 --> 00:15:27,320 - And I just got a vote. - Amy: Mike! 388 00:15:27,344 --> 00:15:28,464 Mike, you're needed in here. 389 00:15:28,512 --> 00:15:29,846 I'm coming, I'm coming. 390 00:15:29,930 --> 00:15:32,224 There's fucking press vans outside, Mike. 391 00:15:32,307 --> 00:15:34,243 You better hope Russell Crowe is threatening to jump. 392 00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:36,829 All right, look, we're gonna have to get her downstairs for an appearance. 393 00:15:36,853 --> 00:15:39,356 - Othennise, they're gonna start speculating. - (Stutters) 394 00:15:41,691 --> 00:15:44,945 Look, she is fuckin' high right now. 395 00:15:45,028 --> 00:15:46,530 (Selina urinating) 396 00:15:49,407 --> 00:15:51,034 (Selina laughing) 397 00:15:53,328 --> 00:15:54,746 Yeah, yeah. 398 00:15:54,830 --> 00:15:57,190 You didn't happen to notice that the veep is tripping balls? 399 00:15:57,332 --> 00:15:58,542 Gary gave her something 400 00:15:58,625 --> 00:16:01,962 that is reacting with her antidepressants and turning her into Julie Andrews. 401 00:16:02,045 --> 00:16:03,463 No, that's not doing it. 402 00:16:03,547 --> 00:16:05,828 Dan: We just need to keep her here till this thing passes. 403 00:16:05,882 --> 00:16:07,467 What if we pump her stomach? 404 00:16:07,551 --> 00:16:08,903 I've had my stomach pumped before. 405 00:16:08,927 --> 00:16:10,404 - I think I can figure it out. - (Knock on door) 406 00:16:10,428 --> 00:16:12,597 - Jonah: Knock, knock, j rock o'clock! - Christ. 407 00:16:12,681 --> 00:16:14,117 Yeah, somebody ordered boom service? 408 00:16:14,141 --> 00:16:17,227 As a senior white house official, I am commandeering this situation, Mike. 409 00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:18,870 All right, what do you guys got for me? 410 00:16:18,895 --> 00:16:20,647 Okay, she just walked through a glass door, 411 00:16:20,730 --> 00:16:23,316 which is somewhat ironic building up to an invisible primary, 412 00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:25,861 and she is temporarily insane on a cocktail of happy pills. 413 00:16:25,944 --> 00:16:27,904 Over to you, captain. 414 00:16:29,114 --> 00:16:30,490 You just broke his brain, Amy. 415 00:16:30,574 --> 00:16:33,827 Jesus, look at his stupid gaping mouth. Let's put stuff in it. 416 00:16:34,703 --> 00:16:36,788 Okay, decision. Listen up. 417 00:16:36,872 --> 00:16:38,248 The veep will make a statement. 418 00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:40,167 She will make this statement on camera, 419 00:16:40,250 --> 00:16:43,670 and she will make this statement as soon as humanly fucking possible. 420 00:16:43,753 --> 00:16:44,796 Ca-fuckin'-pisce? 421 00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:47,674 What in the hell is your problem, Andrew? 422 00:16:48,258 --> 00:16:50,343 What? What are you looking at me like that for? 423 00:16:50,427 --> 00:16:52,596 - Your... - Huh? 424 00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:53,889 You called me Andrew. 425 00:16:53,972 --> 00:16:55,682 No, I did not. 426 00:16:55,765 --> 00:16:57,058 I know who you are. 427 00:16:57,142 --> 00:16:59,769 I can even say your name the other way... 428 00:17:01,188 --> 00:17:03,190 Hanoj. 429 00:17:05,066 --> 00:17:06,234 (Yawns) 430 00:17:06,818 --> 00:17:09,279 All right, academically, Amy, what's your first move here? 431 00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:12,115 - Mike, go talk to the press. - Yeah, Mike, go talk to the press. 432 00:17:12,199 --> 00:17:15,035 - I'll tag team with you. - Gary, go get her some clothes. 433 00:17:15,118 --> 00:17:17,454 Yeah, Gary, go get her some fucking clothes. 434 00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:19,697 Come on, it's time to dress up and fess up. Go, go, go. 435 00:17:19,789 --> 00:17:21,875 (Door opens and closes) 436 00:17:22,626 --> 00:17:24,586 Gotta say, I think I handled that pretty well. 437 00:17:27,005 --> 00:17:28,506 (Snoring) 438 00:17:33,094 --> 00:17:36,723 There's something so sexy about being in a hotel in the middle of the day, right? 439 00:17:36,806 --> 00:17:39,935 Yep, four people to one toilet. You can hear everything that hits the water. 440 00:17:40,018 --> 00:17:41,645 (Cell phone chiming) 441 00:17:41,728 --> 00:17:43,647 Where the fuck are you? Picking cotton to weave? 442 00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:45,166 Amy, I can't find anything to cover her up. 443 00:17:45,190 --> 00:17:46,375 She doesn't have any turtlenecks. 444 00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:47,752 I've narrowed it down to four looks. 445 00:17:47,776 --> 00:17:48,985 Just get back here. 446 00:17:49,069 --> 00:17:51,255 Amy, Amy, Amy. Give me a number between one and four, please. 447 00:17:51,279 --> 00:17:53,073 - Four. - I think I prefer three. 448 00:17:53,156 --> 00:17:55,158 - Fucking three, then. - Actually, four's good. 449 00:17:56,910 --> 00:17:58,471 Female reporter: So, who could challenge this president? 450 00:17:58,495 --> 00:18:00,135 At the moment, the names we're hearing... 451 00:18:00,163 --> 00:18:04,584 Okay, it has been three hours. I need her on television now. 452 00:18:04,668 --> 00:18:07,837 Do I need to draw you a line graph, Jonah? More time equals less cuckoo. 453 00:18:07,921 --> 00:18:10,757 We need to take a cold dump on the speculation. 454 00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:12,175 Is she the mystery challenger 455 00:18:12,259 --> 00:18:15,387 who's going to throw her hat into the ring to challenge potus in two years? 456 00:18:15,470 --> 00:18:18,848 We need to send the message that the ring is a hat-free zone. 457 00:18:18,932 --> 00:18:21,434 No berets, no stetsons, no beanies... 458 00:18:21,518 --> 00:18:23,186 Why are you just listing hats? 459 00:18:23,270 --> 00:18:24,354 Jonah's right. 460 00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:27,857 (Clears throat) I've gotta put my face out there, my fucked-up face. 461 00:18:28,233 --> 00:18:30,360 I feel so good. I had such a deep sleep. 462 00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:33,071 Looks like I'll just be sitting over here being right. 463 00:18:33,154 --> 00:18:35,782 Yeah, in 700 days of working with us, you've been right once. 464 00:18:35,865 --> 00:18:39,286 - Sit like a gentleman, please? - Oh, my god. 465 00:18:39,369 --> 00:18:40,996 You like the view, Mike? 466 00:18:41,079 --> 00:18:43,224 - Okay, everyone. The vice president. - Madam vice president. 467 00:18:43,248 --> 00:18:46,126 - Please, give her some space. - Hi. Hi, guys. 468 00:18:46,209 --> 00:18:48,670 I'm sorry for keeping you waiting. I'm fine. 469 00:18:48,753 --> 00:18:53,758 I didn't want you to think I'm hiding anything. 'Cause that's not my style. (Chuckles) 470 00:18:54,134 --> 00:18:59,306 Um, what happened is that I, um, walked through a glass door. 471 00:18:59,389 --> 00:19:02,934 And, um, the only thing that's really hurt is my pride. 472 00:19:03,018 --> 00:19:07,022 Were there any mitigating circumstances? Was there carpeting or... 473 00:19:07,105 --> 00:19:08,332 - Was there carpeting there, Mike? - Yes. 474 00:19:08,356 --> 00:19:09,356 There was. 475 00:19:09,399 --> 00:19:11,680 Yes, it has been confirmed that there was carpeting there. 476 00:19:11,735 --> 00:19:13,754 You will be doing the get moving run tomorrow, correct? 477 00:19:13,778 --> 00:19:16,072 I fully intend to run. 478 00:19:16,573 --> 00:19:21,328 Oh, no, that's a fucking wire brush to my hemorrhoids. 479 00:19:21,911 --> 00:19:23,139 Photographer: Thank you, ma'am. 480 00:19:23,163 --> 00:19:26,458 So she's either crazy or she's starting a presidential campaign. 481 00:19:26,541 --> 00:19:28,043 Yeah, I'd say the two are synonymous. 482 00:19:28,126 --> 00:19:29,603 - "I intend to run"? - Jonah: No, no, no. 483 00:19:29,627 --> 00:19:32,213 She was talking about running the race, sir, the 10k. 484 00:19:32,297 --> 00:19:35,258 Fix it, or I'll liaise your balls to your desk. 485 00:19:35,342 --> 00:19:37,844 Yes, sir. And thank you for your continued... he's gone. 486 00:19:37,927 --> 00:19:40,472 Amy, Amy, Amy. Okay, Amy. 487 00:19:40,555 --> 00:19:44,559 Uh, she needs to run tomorrow to magic away any presidential speculation, okay? 488 00:19:44,642 --> 00:19:45,852 She can't do the fun run. 489 00:19:45,935 --> 00:19:47,747 She can barely do a convincing walk at the moment. 490 00:19:47,771 --> 00:19:50,357 - Okay, can and will. - Can't and won't. 491 00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:52,525 Now go up and screw a pillow. The room's paid for. 492 00:19:55,570 --> 00:19:57,030 Mike: And this just in from Taiwan. 493 00:19:57,113 --> 00:19:58,323 - So good. - What? 494 00:19:58,406 --> 00:20:00,075 - Come here. - What? 495 00:20:00,158 --> 00:20:02,243 (Woman speaking mandarin) 496 00:20:03,203 --> 00:20:05,330 (All laughing) 497 00:20:06,289 --> 00:20:08,917 - Dan: (Snorts) Oh. - What the fuck? 498 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:10,418 - (Snorts) - Why are you laughing? 499 00:20:10,502 --> 00:20:12,212 I love cartoons. 500 00:20:12,295 --> 00:20:13,588 (Laughing) 501 00:20:13,671 --> 00:20:15,465 Amy: Jesus. 502 00:20:15,799 --> 00:20:17,342 - That's you, Gary. - Shut up. 503 00:20:17,425 --> 00:20:19,386 That doesn't even look like the leviathan. 504 00:20:20,303 --> 00:20:21,781 What else you got? Is there anything else out there? 505 00:20:21,805 --> 00:20:26,226 Your delay in facing the press has raised speculation on your long-term health. 506 00:20:26,309 --> 00:20:28,329 - What? - They're asking if you're up to the job, ma'am. 507 00:20:28,353 --> 00:20:31,147 Am I up to the job? Ooh, jeez. 508 00:20:31,356 --> 00:20:32,482 - Oh. - The leg thing? 509 00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:33,691 - Yeah. - Yeah. 510 00:20:33,775 --> 00:20:36,945 Seriously, I am totally overqualified for this job. 511 00:20:37,028 --> 00:20:38,154 - Stop it! - You know... 512 00:20:38,238 --> 00:20:39,572 - Stop what? - Nothing. 513 00:20:39,656 --> 00:20:43,159 These flowers came for you from the secretary of defense Maddox. 514 00:20:43,243 --> 00:20:44,411 Oh, let's see. 515 00:20:44,494 --> 00:20:45,787 "Good luck with your fun run. 516 00:20:45,870 --> 00:20:48,039 "Try not to swear when the starter pistol goes off." 517 00:20:48,123 --> 00:20:49,124 Come on. 518 00:20:49,207 --> 00:20:51,584 He's just a varicose dick vein. I can't stand that guy. 519 00:20:51,668 --> 00:20:53,044 All right, let's go, guys. 520 00:20:53,128 --> 00:20:58,842 Oh, I went to a Mexican karaoke restaurant, and I did hallelujah by Leonard Cohen. 521 00:20:58,925 --> 00:20:59,926 Oh, no, you didn't. 522 00:21:00,009 --> 00:21:03,972 I did, and I changed the "hallelujah" to "jalapeño." 523 00:21:04,055 --> 00:21:07,892 (Laughs) I can imagine that was very funny, sir. 524 00:21:07,976 --> 00:21:09,602 Oh, Christ. It's the committee. 525 00:21:09,686 --> 00:21:12,856 They're gonna vote on the potus investigation. 526 00:21:12,939 --> 00:21:15,024 Yeah, I think that's gonna be fine, sir. 527 00:21:15,191 --> 00:21:16,484 Yeah, of course you do, Jonah. 528 00:21:16,568 --> 00:21:18,027 You don't get the complexity. 529 00:21:18,361 --> 00:21:20,363 You're the world's biggest single-cell organism. 530 00:21:20,447 --> 00:21:23,700 Hey, Amy, you know schmidt at the state department? 531 00:21:23,783 --> 00:21:25,827 He's the whistleblower. Yeah. 532 00:21:25,910 --> 00:21:28,079 Potus is gonna be up shit's creek 533 00:21:28,163 --> 00:21:30,832 and I am not hanging around to be his fucking paddle. 534 00:21:30,915 --> 00:21:32,635 - I'm not. - It's not coming to that, ma'am. 535 00:21:32,667 --> 00:21:33,668 We don't know. 536 00:21:33,751 --> 00:21:36,689 All I'm saying is that there are going to be difficult choices to make, you know? 537 00:21:36,713 --> 00:21:38,715 Like Sophie's choice choices, 538 00:21:38,798 --> 00:21:41,426 except more important because it's gonna be about me. 539 00:21:42,719 --> 00:21:44,596 - Well, hey there! - (Crowd cheering) 540 00:21:50,602 --> 00:21:53,146 All right. Great! 541 00:21:53,229 --> 00:21:54,314 - All right, ma'am. - Okay. 542 00:21:54,397 --> 00:21:56,900 She is definitely wearing too much makeup. 543 00:21:56,983 --> 00:21:59,194 - She looks like Marcel marceau. - Both: Yeah. 544 00:21:59,277 --> 00:22:03,031 He couldn't tell the difference between real glass and air either. 545 00:22:03,698 --> 00:22:05,366 Come on, that's fuckin' funny. 546 00:22:05,742 --> 00:22:07,368 - Man over pa: On your marks... - Wait. 547 00:22:07,452 --> 00:22:08,453 - Yeah. - I'm scared. 548 00:22:08,536 --> 00:22:10,788 - Get set, go! - Yeah. Okay. 549 00:22:10,872 --> 00:22:12,749 - Oh, shit. - Let's do it! 550 00:22:13,750 --> 00:22:15,126 Yeah, I see you! 551 00:22:15,210 --> 00:22:16,711 I see you. 552 00:22:16,794 --> 00:22:18,171 Let's get moving! 553 00:22:18,254 --> 00:22:19,254 Mike: Oh, Christ. 554 00:22:19,297 --> 00:22:22,884 Did we warn her one of the get moving ambassadors was a one-legged veteran? 555 00:22:22,967 --> 00:22:25,178 Dan: He's behind her. She's never gonna see him. 556 00:22:25,261 --> 00:22:27,907 But wait, does it look good, her beating a one-legged guy like that? 557 00:22:27,931 --> 00:22:28,932 No, it doesn't look good. 558 00:22:29,098 --> 00:22:31,098 The alternative is a little worse, don't you think? 559 00:22:31,142 --> 00:22:35,021 The key is we make it look like she could beat the guy, but then she lets him win. 560 00:22:35,104 --> 00:22:36,864 Dan: Yeah, a win-win by losing. That's good. 561 00:22:36,940 --> 00:22:38,650 Yeah? 562 00:22:38,983 --> 00:22:39,984 Hello? 563 00:22:40,068 --> 00:22:42,195 Gary, you need to get her to slow down. 564 00:22:42,278 --> 00:22:43,655 Oh, thank god. 565 00:22:43,738 --> 00:22:46,908 - It looks bad if she's beating the disabled guy. - Okay. 566 00:22:46,991 --> 00:22:50,203 Hey, ma'am. You gotta slow down. 567 00:22:50,286 --> 00:22:52,038 - Why? - It looks bad. 568 00:22:52,121 --> 00:22:53,706 Oh, god, what? My face? 569 00:22:53,790 --> 00:22:56,918 No, your face looks fine. You're beating a disabled guy. 570 00:22:57,001 --> 00:23:00,046 Oh, come on. Don't be so hard on yourself, Gary. 571 00:23:00,129 --> 00:23:03,716 Oh, god. I can't stop her. She's unstoppable. 572 00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:04,884 (Phone ringing) 573 00:23:04,968 --> 00:23:06,803 Ben: Dep sec schmidt is testifying. 574 00:23:06,886 --> 00:23:09,722 House judiciary committee is discussing an impeachment vote. 575 00:23:09,806 --> 00:23:12,225 Burn everything incriminating, including this building. 576 00:23:12,308 --> 00:23:14,561 Burn all the white house pets and then yourselves. 577 00:23:14,644 --> 00:23:16,062 Burn yourselves first. 578 00:23:16,145 --> 00:23:18,314 Jonah, you go down to the race site, 579 00:23:18,398 --> 00:23:20,900 make sure the vice president says she stands by potus. 580 00:23:20,984 --> 00:23:22,584 Mr. Ryan, ensure that the vice president 581 00:23:22,652 --> 00:23:24,922 does not respond to any questions about the impeachment vote. 582 00:23:24,946 --> 00:23:26,364 Those are contradictory orders. 583 00:23:26,447 --> 00:23:28,783 No. You make sure that she stands up and she shits back. 584 00:23:28,866 --> 00:23:30,970 - Refuses to engage at all. - Jonah: Okay, so I should... 585 00:23:30,994 --> 00:23:32,674 - Pick a fucking side. - Use your judgment. 586 00:23:33,037 --> 00:23:34,998 Sir, that's not my strongest suit. 587 00:23:35,081 --> 00:23:36,499 Dan: Aw, Christ. 588 00:23:36,583 --> 00:23:38,686 Schmidt at the state department just pushed the button. 589 00:23:38,710 --> 00:23:41,754 The judiciary committee says he's agreed to testify. 590 00:23:41,838 --> 00:23:43,464 Amy: Okay, get me Gary again. 591 00:23:43,548 --> 00:23:45,693 - Please, get me Gary again. - You know what? Pull over here. 592 00:23:45,717 --> 00:23:47,152 Mike: Could this go to an impeachment vote? 593 00:23:47,176 --> 00:23:48,428 (Tires screech) 594 00:23:48,511 --> 00:23:50,305 All right, look, you guys go ahead. 595 00:23:50,388 --> 00:23:52,199 We're gonna make sure Gary keeps up with her. Okay, okay. 596 00:23:52,223 --> 00:23:54,934 - Gary! Gary, come here! - Gary! Gary! 597 00:23:55,018 --> 00:23:58,313 As soon as she crosses the finish line, the press is gonna be all over her. 598 00:23:58,396 --> 00:24:00,249 - All right, so what do we say? - Hang on, hang on. 599 00:24:00,273 --> 00:24:02,251 - No, no, fuck it. We gotta go. - No, come on, man. 600 00:24:02,275 --> 00:24:03,359 - Comeon! - Fuck! 601 00:24:03,443 --> 00:24:05,194 Dan: Gary! Amy: Gary. 602 00:24:05,862 --> 00:24:07,280 What? What? 603 00:24:07,363 --> 00:24:09,449 The judiciary committee is talking impeachment vote. 604 00:24:09,741 --> 00:24:10,926 We need to give her a response. 605 00:24:10,950 --> 00:24:13,536 I'm way behind. If I keep talking, I'm gonna vomit. 606 00:24:14,537 --> 00:24:15,538 Jonah? 607 00:24:15,622 --> 00:24:17,415 Yeah. What's up, you fuckin' lorax? 608 00:24:17,498 --> 00:24:20,918 Hey, Dan, if you're trying to get a statement to the veep, it's this... 609 00:24:21,002 --> 00:24:23,796 Full commitment to the president, total backing. 610 00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:26,191 No, no, no, no. She will support him, but she will not back him. 611 00:24:26,215 --> 00:24:29,135 - He's too toxic. - No, full backing, full support. 612 00:24:29,218 --> 00:24:32,221 Oh, god, this zipper is like a cheese grater on my dick. 613 00:24:32,305 --> 00:24:33,348 (Mike laughs) 614 00:24:33,431 --> 00:24:35,266 Lorax. (Huffing) 615 00:24:35,516 --> 00:24:40,647 So which one of us do you think Andre the giant jagoff is gonna obey? 616 00:24:40,897 --> 00:24:42,190 - Jonah? - Yeah. 617 00:24:42,273 --> 00:24:44,275 - 100 bucks says you. - Really? 618 00:24:44,359 --> 00:24:45,401 He's an idiot. 619 00:24:45,485 --> 00:24:48,821 I'm surprised he gets to work without being hit by a car or punched in the mouth. 620 00:24:48,905 --> 00:24:51,324 - Hi! - Excuse me. 621 00:24:51,407 --> 00:24:56,496 Ma'am, Amy says, "I give my support to the president in this very challenging time." 622 00:24:56,579 --> 00:24:59,058 Emphasize it's important to respect the process of the hearing. 623 00:24:59,082 --> 00:25:00,124 She needs a get-out. 624 00:25:00,208 --> 00:25:02,919 Cut to the chase, Amy. I'm being overtaken by a banana. 625 00:25:03,002 --> 00:25:05,421 (Panting) I can't breathe. Oh, I can't breathe. Oh, Jesus. 626 00:25:05,505 --> 00:25:07,715 Ma'am. Ma'am, I need you to speed up or slow down. 627 00:25:07,799 --> 00:25:09,759 We can't have you in a photo finish with a banana. 628 00:25:10,134 --> 00:25:11,987 - Yeah. - It's a caption contest waiting to happen. 629 00:25:12,011 --> 00:25:13,971 Yeah, I'm not gonna get beaten by a banana. 630 00:25:15,348 --> 00:25:17,350 (Crowd cheering) 631 00:25:20,019 --> 00:25:22,179 Reporter 1: Madam vice president! Madam vice president! 632 00:25:22,230 --> 00:25:23,624 - Reporter 2: Well done. - Thank you. 633 00:25:23,648 --> 00:25:24,917 - Reporter 2: Nice job. - Thank you. 634 00:25:24,941 --> 00:25:26,901 - Not bad, considering, huh? - Yeah. 635 00:25:26,984 --> 00:25:28,361 Feels good to get moving, guys. 636 00:25:28,444 --> 00:25:31,280 Oh, my god, it gets the blood pumping. 637 00:25:31,364 --> 00:25:37,620 You know, the key really, folks, to a healthy lifestyle is exercising well. 638 00:25:37,704 --> 00:25:39,784 - Thank you. - Any comment on the impeachment rumors? 639 00:25:39,831 --> 00:25:44,210 I have, of course, given my full account of what I knew, 640 00:25:44,293 --> 00:25:48,881 and now I'm sure the president will do the same. 641 00:25:48,965 --> 00:25:52,285 - Yeah, that's all you get. That's it, that's it. - (Reporters continue questioning) 642 00:25:53,010 --> 00:25:54,571 Come on, put your hands above your head. 643 00:25:54,595 --> 00:25:55,823 - Put your... get them up. - (Wheezing) 644 00:25:55,847 --> 00:25:57,223 Dan: Come on, buddy. Let's go. 645 00:25:57,306 --> 00:25:58,891 - Mike, come on. - Well done, ma'am. 646 00:25:58,975 --> 00:26:00,852 (Sighs) I am done. 647 00:26:00,935 --> 00:26:02,603 Mmm-hmm. Yes, ma'am, you're all done. 648 00:26:02,687 --> 00:26:05,148 I mean, I am done. I am done with all of it. 649 00:26:05,231 --> 00:26:07,734 The vice presidency... I mean, forget it. 650 00:26:07,817 --> 00:26:09,110 Seriously, Amy. 651 00:26:09,318 --> 00:26:11,821 You can see what's coming, can't you? 652 00:26:11,904 --> 00:26:14,532 He's gonna implicate me in all of this. 653 00:26:14,615 --> 00:26:16,576 All of it. (Exhales deeply) 654 00:26:16,659 --> 00:26:22,123 And then it's gonna be two years of standing next to this man that I loathe. 655 00:26:22,206 --> 00:26:25,626 - Is this just the St. John's wort talking? - Look at me. 656 00:26:25,710 --> 00:26:28,129 I'm covered in scabs. (Sniffs) 657 00:26:28,212 --> 00:26:30,798 I smell like a hobo's craphole. 658 00:26:30,882 --> 00:26:32,842 Forget it. Forget it. 659 00:26:34,010 --> 00:26:38,222 I'm not gonna run with him in two years. I'm not gonna be his vice president. 660 00:26:38,306 --> 00:26:39,599 I'm finished. 661 00:26:39,682 --> 00:26:43,144 I'll come back in six years and I'll save the party from itself. 662 00:26:43,936 --> 00:26:46,230 Hey, do you know what my time was, by the way? 663 00:26:46,314 --> 00:26:48,483 - What's good? - Like an eight-minute mile. 664 00:26:48,566 --> 00:26:50,026 - That. - Yeah? 665 00:26:50,109 --> 00:26:51,652 Yeah, let's get moving... 666 00:26:54,864 --> 00:26:56,616 - (Coughing) Oh, my god. - (Sirens wailing) 667 00:26:56,699 --> 00:26:58,451 That was really rough. 668 00:26:59,118 --> 00:27:00,119 (Sighs) 669 00:27:00,203 --> 00:27:03,915 Hey, Mike, I have some sort of hazy memory 670 00:27:04,874 --> 00:27:09,212 of me promising to buy your boat. 671 00:27:09,378 --> 00:27:11,380 Yeah, you did. Well remembered. 672 00:27:11,464 --> 00:27:14,258 That's not gonna happen. You can't hold me to that, right? 673 00:27:14,342 --> 00:27:17,595 Yeah, no. Sure. Of course. 674 00:27:18,346 --> 00:27:20,598 Man, that is low. 675 00:27:20,681 --> 00:27:23,476 That's like trying to have sex with somebody who's passed out. 676 00:27:23,559 --> 00:27:24,977 Hey, ma'am. (Clears throat) 677 00:27:26,562 --> 00:27:29,232 About my parents' party... 678 00:27:29,482 --> 00:27:31,192 What? I thought your parents were dead. 679 00:27:35,988 --> 00:27:38,533 It's their 40th wedding anniversary, 680 00:27:38,616 --> 00:27:41,994 and you wanted to come, and we were gonna go dancing. 681 00:27:42,078 --> 00:27:43,830 You know, it's gonna be a big blowout. 682 00:27:43,913 --> 00:27:46,374 Okay, I'm the vice president of the United States. 683 00:27:46,457 --> 00:27:47,917 - Uh-huh, yeah. - You know. 684 00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:53,089 I can't be running off to shindigs put on by the parents of people on my staff. 685 00:27:53,172 --> 00:27:54,775 - Yeah. - You know what I mean? That's completely... 686 00:27:54,799 --> 00:27:57,468 - Yeah, sure. - Absurd, you know? 687 00:27:57,552 --> 00:28:00,263 I mean, you've never even mentioned your parents before. 688 00:28:00,346 --> 00:28:02,598 - I've just always assumed that they were dead. - Great. 689 00:28:02,682 --> 00:28:04,284 I mean, why wouldn't I make that assumption? 690 00:28:04,308 --> 00:28:06,352 Why wouldn't... right. Yeah, totally. Yeah. 691 00:28:06,435 --> 00:28:08,271 All right, let's back up for a second here. 692 00:28:08,729 --> 00:28:09,772 Your parents are not dead. 693 00:28:09,939 --> 00:28:11,357 Nope. Mmm-mmm. 694 00:28:11,440 --> 00:28:14,026 It's so funny that you thought that they were, too. 695 00:28:14,110 --> 00:28:15,945 Mike: I thought you were adopted.