1 00:00:18,394 --> 00:00:21,814 It was a lighthearted song at an informal event. 2 00:00:21,898 --> 00:00:23,292 Yeah, she's going to apologize to Europe 3 00:00:23,316 --> 00:00:25,651 'cause it's right up there with the bubonic plague 4 00:00:25,735 --> 00:00:27,111 and the carpet bombing at dresden. 5 00:00:28,029 --> 00:00:30,823 Tommy, hi. Amy. Yeah. 6 00:00:30,907 --> 00:00:32,658 Ignore Dan. He's hormonal. 7 00:00:33,201 --> 00:00:36,662 The song is funny because it's the opposite of her views on Europe. 8 00:00:37,413 --> 00:00:39,290 Drinks when I get back? Okay. 9 00:00:40,291 --> 00:00:41,393 You need to do it like Mike. 10 00:00:41,417 --> 00:00:44,479 Yeah, I don't want to be like Mike, okay? Even Mike doesn't want to be like Mike. 11 00:00:44,503 --> 00:00:45,546 You should call him. 12 00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:48,132 And we need to keep the veep away from regular people 13 00:00:48,216 --> 00:00:49,342 and their awkward questions. 14 00:00:49,425 --> 00:00:51,361 So while she's in Helsinki, just keep her out of Helsinki. 15 00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:52,386 Yeah, wonderful. 16 00:00:52,470 --> 00:00:54,805 She gave me a leviathan with fewer pockets. 17 00:00:55,473 --> 00:00:56,474 So what's the latest? 18 00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:58,851 Any burning effigies of me in the Balkans? 19 00:00:58,976 --> 00:01:00,394 Look at you in yourjammies. 20 00:01:00,478 --> 00:01:02,730 - I need Ambien. - Right. 21 00:01:03,606 --> 00:01:06,108 What? This is cipro. I don't have a urinary infection. 22 00:01:06,442 --> 00:01:07,902 Oh, my gosh. 23 00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:10,571 Listen to this. 24 00:01:10,988 --> 00:01:13,908 The climate here is very cold, 25 00:01:13,991 --> 00:01:17,703 but the reception here is very warm. 26 00:01:18,537 --> 00:01:20,831 - It's almost there. - Yeah. Isn't it great? 27 00:01:21,999 --> 00:01:23,000 Yes, this is. 28 00:01:23,918 --> 00:01:24,961 - Gary. - Yeah? 29 00:01:25,044 --> 00:01:26,045 Did you get my... 30 00:01:26,796 --> 00:01:27,916 Please don't make that face. 31 00:01:28,256 --> 00:01:30,424 You know I only do this when I go abroad. Come on. 32 00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:32,927 It's just last time you stopped, you were so up and down. 33 00:01:33,010 --> 00:01:35,179 Listen, I really do need my little soldiers. 34 00:01:35,263 --> 00:01:38,516 - I'm just saying... - I need my flaming redheads. 35 00:01:38,683 --> 00:01:40,184 - I don't understand... - Thank you. 36 00:01:41,644 --> 00:01:44,438 So what's going on? How's the song going over in Finland? 37 00:01:44,689 --> 00:01:48,818 Some paper is calling you the europhobic khaleesi from DC. 38 00:01:49,026 --> 00:01:50,444 "Europhobic"? Seriously? 39 00:01:50,528 --> 00:01:52,688 What is that supposed to mean? I'm scared of subtitles? 40 00:01:57,618 --> 00:02:00,371 Man: Mike, you got the summary of the 2008 swing state modeling? 41 00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:04,166 Not yet, but I do have a summary of the summary that's great. So... 42 00:02:04,292 --> 00:02:05,459 (Cell phone chimes) 43 00:02:07,545 --> 00:02:09,297 - Hey, Dan. - How's it hanging, Mike? 44 00:02:09,755 --> 00:02:12,192 (Whispering) It's fucking insane here. It's like a math prison. 45 00:02:12,216 --> 00:02:13,426 They rape you with numbers. 46 00:02:13,509 --> 00:02:15,303 Mike, what's your voter registration eta? 47 00:02:15,553 --> 00:02:17,138 - Imminental. - All right, Mike, listen, 48 00:02:17,221 --> 00:02:18,389 just tell me one thing. 49 00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:20,099 How do you do that fozzie bear, 50 00:02:20,182 --> 00:02:22,452 happy guy, wocka-wocka bullshit to get the press to like you? 51 00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:24,395 You want to learn to mclin-talk, huh? 52 00:02:25,021 --> 00:02:26,397 Remember it's a performance. 53 00:02:26,564 --> 00:02:28,204 You have to pretend that you're charming. 54 00:02:28,357 --> 00:02:30,377 It doesn't matter if the jokes are weak, keep it loose. 55 00:02:30,401 --> 00:02:33,321 Deliberately bad jokes. It's kind of genius. 56 00:02:34,071 --> 00:02:35,239 Explains a lot. 57 00:02:36,574 --> 00:02:37,658 Call dickhead. 58 00:02:37,950 --> 00:02:39,035 (Cell phone ringing) 59 00:02:40,536 --> 00:02:42,788 - West wing, Jonah. - Hey, Jonah. It's Mike. 60 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:45,559 I need you to come over here and explain this dream metric to... 61 00:02:45,583 --> 00:02:47,418 Bingo. I was looking for that. 62 00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:51,005 Okay, so you want j-rock to come down there and spit some wicked wisdom in your ear. 63 00:02:51,088 --> 00:02:52,506 Is that what I'm hearing, Mike? 64 00:02:52,590 --> 00:02:56,218 Look, if you do this, I will get you back in as the veep's resident creep. 65 00:02:56,385 --> 00:02:59,305 If I come down there, Mike, people are gonna wonder why I'm not in Europe. 66 00:02:59,430 --> 00:03:02,117 Don't worry, buddy. I can cover for you. Remember, I lie for a living. 67 00:03:02,141 --> 00:03:04,435 Yeah, but you don't do it well and nobody believes you. 68 00:03:06,896 --> 00:03:11,442 I realize it's below freezing here in Helsinki, but I certainly am touched 69 00:03:11,942 --> 00:03:15,112 by the very warm welcome we've received this evening. 70 00:03:15,196 --> 00:03:16,864 Thank you very much. Thank you. 71 00:03:16,947 --> 00:03:18,199 (Crowd applauding) 72 00:03:18,949 --> 00:03:20,469 Reporter: Do you have any comment on the song? 73 00:03:20,493 --> 00:03:23,263 Vice president, would you have made jokes like that about the middle east? 74 00:03:23,287 --> 00:03:26,183 Guys, we appreciate you coming out, but let's save the autographs for tomorrow. 75 00:03:26,207 --> 00:03:27,708 Is she going to apologize? 76 00:03:27,792 --> 00:03:29,835 - The vice president is here... - To apologize? 77 00:03:29,919 --> 00:03:32,731 You're a long way from home, mate. This is really the line of questioning... 78 00:03:32,755 --> 00:03:34,835 "Mate"? Yeah, you're a long way from home, mate, too. 79 00:03:34,882 --> 00:03:36,967 The vice president is here to sign a trade agreement 80 00:03:37,093 --> 00:03:40,554 and forge a very important friendship between two great nations. 81 00:03:40,638 --> 00:03:41,889 Press avail tomorrow. 82 00:03:41,972 --> 00:03:43,015 (Reporters clamoring) 83 00:03:43,099 --> 00:03:46,477 At which point I'll perform a little street magic for you, okay? 84 00:03:46,852 --> 00:03:48,080 So you guys all think of a card. 85 00:03:48,104 --> 00:03:49,438 I'm thinking nine of hearts. 86 00:03:49,939 --> 00:03:51,649 I'm thinking joker. 87 00:03:51,816 --> 00:03:53,109 (Reporters laugh) 88 00:03:55,236 --> 00:03:57,279 That was cold and hostile. 89 00:03:58,030 --> 00:04:01,992 Sure we didn't overshoot and land in Russia in the 1950s? 90 00:04:02,243 --> 00:04:04,363 - Yeah, what was with that British reporter? - I know. 91 00:04:04,829 --> 00:04:06,473 You do not want one of those on your back. 92 00:04:06,497 --> 00:04:09,297 They will sell nude pics of their grandmothers for a glass of hot beer. 93 00:04:09,333 --> 00:04:11,168 By the way, that is not the way 94 00:04:11,252 --> 00:04:14,088 Mike would have handled that back then at the airport, okay? 95 00:04:14,839 --> 00:04:16,608 If Mike were here, we would have spent the entire flight 96 00:04:16,632 --> 00:04:20,719 watching him do scratcher lotto tickets going, "oh, so close," every time he lost. 97 00:04:21,011 --> 00:04:23,347 - Could we just... - Yeah, I miss Mike. 98 00:04:23,889 --> 00:04:25,182 Oh, look. That's nice. 99 00:04:25,683 --> 00:04:27,101 It's got a smiley face on it. 100 00:04:29,854 --> 00:04:33,566 Selina, you looking for 50 ways to leave Helsinki? 101 00:04:33,649 --> 00:04:36,378 Okay, guys, thank you very much. We're not taking any questions tonight. 102 00:04:36,402 --> 00:04:38,755 We've got some iPads to recharge. But we'll see you in the morning. 103 00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:41,949 - Okay, thank you. Good night. - Just get in the Jeep, veep. 104 00:04:42,450 --> 00:04:43,451 (Knocks on door) 105 00:04:43,534 --> 00:04:45,786 Hey, relax, old-timer. Cavalry's here. 106 00:04:45,870 --> 00:04:47,830 We have to summarize all this for the layman. 107 00:04:47,913 --> 00:04:51,167 Jesus, Mike. This is so basic. 108 00:04:51,333 --> 00:04:52,960 This is like high school all over again. 109 00:04:53,043 --> 00:04:56,380 Holy shit, grandpa, you probably still get your porn from magazines. 110 00:04:56,714 --> 00:05:02,386 Mike, sub the data principles to 500, 100, and 20-word versions. 111 00:05:03,345 --> 00:05:04,555 - Jonah. - Yes, sir? 112 00:05:04,722 --> 00:05:07,224 Well, this is an unexpected permutation. 113 00:05:07,850 --> 00:05:09,727 - Mike? - Hmm? 114 00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:14,482 Uh, the vice president thought Jonah's talents might be... 115 00:05:14,565 --> 00:05:18,068 We're supposed to inform congress of covert operations. 116 00:05:18,402 --> 00:05:21,947 Now, this isn't a choice like my diet, this is a necessity like my drinking. 117 00:05:22,281 --> 00:05:25,075 I am going to be taking soundings over the next 24 hours. 118 00:05:25,159 --> 00:05:27,661 The national security advisor is running around 119 00:05:27,745 --> 00:05:29,389 like he's got eagles flying out of his dick. 120 00:05:29,413 --> 00:05:33,250 All this melodrama really explains your three divorces. 121 00:05:33,334 --> 00:05:35,753 Well, I'd like to divorce your head from your fucking neck. 122 00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:38,255 Do it. All right, listen, Mike, I need you... 123 00:05:40,049 --> 00:05:42,009 How many lunch breaks can one guy take? 124 00:05:42,468 --> 00:05:44,136 Dan: So I just got an e-mail from sue. 125 00:05:44,261 --> 00:05:46,239 Something's really got 'em jumping at the white house. 126 00:05:46,263 --> 00:05:48,641 Okay, well, you need to go and apologize for the song. 127 00:05:48,807 --> 00:05:51,477 And don't make anyjokes, okay, Dan? 128 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:54,480 Because with your face, when you attempt to be charming, 129 00:05:54,563 --> 00:05:57,191 it really does come off as evil. 130 00:05:57,816 --> 00:05:59,985 - Yeah. - You doing okay? 131 00:06:00,069 --> 00:06:03,489 - Did you get the... - They got pears. 132 00:06:03,572 --> 00:06:07,076 - I don't want fruit. Did you get 'em? - Yes, I got 'em. I got 'em. 133 00:06:09,787 --> 00:06:12,456 - Oh, come on. - It's a small bag. 134 00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:15,209 - Are you complaining about this gift? - No, I'm not. 135 00:06:15,292 --> 00:06:18,045 It's not a small bag. Your hands are large. 136 00:06:18,128 --> 00:06:20,714 - My dad always said I had lady's hands. - Well... 137 00:06:20,798 --> 00:06:21,966 - I got 'em. - Oh, goodie. 138 00:06:22,049 --> 00:06:25,302 - Right here. - Yep. I feel so nasty. 139 00:06:30,975 --> 00:06:32,017 Wow. 140 00:06:32,977 --> 00:06:35,062 Don't give me that quaker in a titty bar look. 141 00:06:35,563 --> 00:06:36,647 Seriously, don't. 142 00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:41,169 British reporter: Here we go. Ken's given Barbie the slip. 143 00:06:41,193 --> 00:06:44,738 Okay, guys, to those who may have misinterpreted the song, 144 00:06:44,822 --> 00:06:46,657 we, to them, offer apologies, 145 00:06:46,824 --> 00:06:51,662 especially our most gracious host the prime minister of Finland. 146 00:06:51,996 --> 00:06:53,139 So what's going on back there? 147 00:06:53,163 --> 00:06:56,166 All I know is the secretary of defense has been in to see Kent. 148 00:06:56,417 --> 00:06:57,793 I must go to sleep now, Amy. 149 00:06:58,002 --> 00:07:00,254 I'm on your time. Helsinchronized. 150 00:07:00,504 --> 00:07:03,173 Yeah, well, I feel like I'm on two time zones at the same time. 151 00:07:03,257 --> 00:07:05,497 I might be the first woman ever to have parallel periods. 152 00:07:05,634 --> 00:07:07,845 You got to go to Europe, Amy, and I'm in my bedroom. 153 00:07:09,179 --> 00:07:10,764 Sean, you need to come to bed now. 154 00:07:10,889 --> 00:07:14,101 And lower your expectations. We will just be sleeping. 155 00:07:14,393 --> 00:07:17,771 It's not a crisis. Despite your standard-issue 156 00:07:17,855 --> 00:07:20,274 hysterical washennoman reaction, it's really not. 157 00:07:20,357 --> 00:07:22,776 Lives were at risk. You know lives? 158 00:07:22,860 --> 00:07:24,671 Like what you had before they made you king of the undead. 159 00:07:24,695 --> 00:07:28,532 Your idea of crisis management is screaming, "we're fucked! Bury me!" 160 00:07:28,699 --> 00:07:30,701 We're fucked! Bury me! 161 00:07:36,290 --> 00:07:39,209 Okay, it's "hyva suomi." That's "go, Finland." 162 00:07:39,293 --> 00:07:43,172 Okay, "hyva suomi." And is the song thing shut down? 163 00:07:43,255 --> 00:07:44,899 Oh, yeah. Bullet in the head, unmarked grave. 164 00:07:44,923 --> 00:07:46,717 Madam vice president. 165 00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:49,303 Madam prime minister. 166 00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:51,722 I am delighted to welcome you to Finland. 167 00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:53,641 Thank you. And please call me selina. 168 00:07:54,266 --> 00:07:56,185 - Selina. - Yes? 169 00:07:56,727 --> 00:07:58,937 - Excuse me? - What? 170 00:07:59,229 --> 00:08:01,482 - Shall we begin? - Oh, yes. Yes. 171 00:08:01,857 --> 00:08:03,617 - Would you like to lead the way? - Yes, yes. 172 00:08:03,651 --> 00:08:05,337 - Oh, you'd like to go first? - Oh, we can... 173 00:08:05,361 --> 00:08:07,488 - We can go together? Yes? - In tandem. 174 00:08:07,571 --> 00:08:08,906 - Yes? Yes? - We shall go. 175 00:08:09,156 --> 00:08:11,033 I have a gift for you. 176 00:08:11,742 --> 00:08:15,245 We hope that when you come to our country, you will go fishing. 177 00:08:15,454 --> 00:08:17,456 Because no one will feed me? 178 00:08:18,874 --> 00:08:20,125 Because you love fishing. 179 00:08:20,626 --> 00:08:22,836 I don't, actually. How baffling. 180 00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:25,589 No, but it is still a beautiful gift. 181 00:08:26,799 --> 00:08:30,469 We also have a gift for you of famous Finnish birds. 182 00:08:30,969 --> 00:08:32,429 My goodness. 183 00:08:33,347 --> 00:08:34,598 Oh, my. 184 00:08:35,557 --> 00:08:37,059 Oh, I have it. I have it. 185 00:08:37,142 --> 00:08:42,064 Thank you. What a lovely clock with an unusual bird. 186 00:08:42,147 --> 00:08:43,899 It's an angry bird. 187 00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:47,152 And why is it so angry? 188 00:08:47,444 --> 00:08:51,699 Because it wants to destroy all of the pigs. 189 00:08:52,157 --> 00:08:54,952 Oh, of course. It's an angry bird. 190 00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:57,371 It is an app. It is a computer game. 191 00:08:57,454 --> 00:08:59,039 It is a successful Finnish export 192 00:08:59,123 --> 00:09:05,129 that we give to you to reflect Finland's place as a pioneer of software innovation. 193 00:09:05,254 --> 00:09:06,922 Indeed. I'm a huge fan. 194 00:09:07,089 --> 00:09:08,841 - You have played it? - Yes. Yes. 195 00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:12,845 Although violence in games is a concern. 196 00:09:13,387 --> 00:09:17,474 But in this case, it's great fun to kill the pigs 197 00:09:18,976 --> 00:09:20,894 in a game, of course. 198 00:09:23,021 --> 00:09:26,400 (Reading Finnish) 199 00:09:26,567 --> 00:09:27,943 (Crowd laughing) 200 00:09:28,944 --> 00:09:30,404 (Continues reading) 201 00:09:34,533 --> 00:09:36,243 - The inscription... - Yes? 202 00:09:36,326 --> 00:09:41,999 Yes, it reads, "Finland, you are hefty." 203 00:09:42,416 --> 00:09:43,417 Uh-uh. 204 00:09:43,709 --> 00:09:44,877 That is the wrong word. 205 00:09:46,211 --> 00:09:47,546 Yes, it is ironic, no? 206 00:09:47,755 --> 00:09:52,217 Because Americans have a much greater body mass index than the Finns. 207 00:09:52,301 --> 00:09:56,680 Ah. Which is why I have recently launched my get moving campaign, 208 00:09:57,014 --> 00:10:03,145 which is aimed specifically at the obese and the morbidly obese. 209 00:10:06,982 --> 00:10:08,692 Why do you hate numbers so much? 210 00:10:09,359 --> 00:10:12,154 Oh, god, you weren't molested by a math teacher, were you? 211 00:10:12,237 --> 00:10:14,615 Let's go in here. Oh. 212 00:10:14,698 --> 00:10:16,033 Hey, Mike. 213 00:10:19,453 --> 00:10:21,079 - Hi, Kent. - We have a problem, Mike. 214 00:10:21,163 --> 00:10:23,081 I'm gonna get you a stat summary asap, sir. 215 00:10:23,248 --> 00:10:26,376 - I am a metric dreamweaver, sir. - This is not a dream metric issue. 216 00:10:26,835 --> 00:10:28,754 Are you familiar with the eye of Sauron? 217 00:10:29,755 --> 00:10:32,966 Fire-rimmed, all-seeing eye from tolkien's lord of the rings. 218 00:10:33,717 --> 00:10:35,219 I think I caught it on a plane once. 219 00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:39,139 The eye of Sauron is the near perfect analogue for the modern media. 220 00:10:39,223 --> 00:10:41,350 If we can draw the eye to Helsinki, 221 00:10:41,433 --> 00:10:44,520 then it won't be looking at what's going on here. 222 00:10:44,853 --> 00:10:46,980 And what is exactly going on here? 223 00:10:47,564 --> 00:10:48,899 I cannot tell you that, Mike. 224 00:10:49,107 --> 00:10:50,275 Is selina gollum? 225 00:10:50,692 --> 00:10:53,070 No, no, no. Enough of that ear swill. 226 00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:56,114 Is what's going on what I think is going on, Kent? 227 00:10:56,198 --> 00:10:58,283 Are you working as a hatcheck girl now? 228 00:10:58,367 --> 00:11:00,160 Oh, great. Did you see that? 229 00:11:00,244 --> 00:11:01,703 The attorney fucking general. 230 00:11:01,787 --> 00:11:04,581 Look, we all know that the lie is worse than the crime. 231 00:11:06,375 --> 00:11:07,393 Look, you're nodding your head, 232 00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:09,417 but you don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. 233 00:11:09,753 --> 00:11:11,880 - The song, it's... - Close your ears, Mike. 234 00:11:12,381 --> 00:11:15,175 One of the hostages in Uzbekistan was a spy. 235 00:11:16,301 --> 00:11:19,137 Now, some people knew and didn't bother to inform congress. 236 00:11:19,388 --> 00:11:21,515 Other people, like selina, did not know. 237 00:11:21,598 --> 00:11:24,351 She went on record denying that there was a spy. 238 00:11:24,434 --> 00:11:26,436 So for the next 13 months, 239 00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:28,438 we're gonna play who knew what when. 240 00:11:28,897 --> 00:11:31,057 Then some of us are gonna go off on the lecture circuit 241 00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:33,235 and some of us are gonna go off to prison. 242 00:11:33,735 --> 00:11:35,362 Now you can shake your head. 243 00:11:36,321 --> 00:11:38,031 Christ, I hate knowledge. 244 00:11:38,949 --> 00:11:42,452 May I introduce, please, my husband? Osmo hakkinen. 245 00:11:42,870 --> 00:11:43,954 How do you do? 246 00:11:44,788 --> 00:11:45,789 Oh! 247 00:11:46,623 --> 00:11:47,624 How lovely. 248 00:11:47,708 --> 00:11:49,877 That hasn't happened in Washington since 1835. 249 00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:51,628 It is a pleasure to meet you. 250 00:11:51,962 --> 00:11:54,590 Although I'm a little bit disappointed you've not serenaded us. 251 00:11:54,673 --> 00:11:56,216 Ah! The song. 252 00:11:56,300 --> 00:11:58,802 Well, I hope you realize that that was entirely in jest. 253 00:11:58,927 --> 00:12:03,265 Yes. In fact, it is the presumption of offense that has offended me. 254 00:12:03,557 --> 00:12:05,809 Well, no offense was intended. 255 00:12:06,018 --> 00:12:09,521 But your communications director apologized specifically to me. 256 00:12:09,813 --> 00:12:12,983 This gives the impression that I am somehow humorless or petty. I am "neider." 257 00:12:13,317 --> 00:12:14,985 - She is "neider." - No, she's "neider." 258 00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:17,321 Would you please excuse us for just one moment? 259 00:12:17,988 --> 00:12:19,573 - Yes? - For a moment, yeah. 260 00:12:22,034 --> 00:12:27,164 So that song, unlike your career as communications director, will not die. 261 00:12:27,623 --> 00:12:31,043 So now you must go and apologize for the apology. 262 00:12:31,501 --> 00:12:34,671 - Yes, ma'am. - Why are you still standing right here? 263 00:12:35,213 --> 00:12:37,132 Here he comes. Virgin Atlantic. 264 00:12:38,008 --> 00:12:40,594 Okay, guys, I want to apologize 265 00:12:41,053 --> 00:12:44,348 for suggesting that the prime minister 266 00:12:44,806 --> 00:12:47,601 may have been somehow personally offended by the song, okay? 267 00:12:47,684 --> 00:12:49,061 That's on me. That's my bad. 268 00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:52,064 Are you gonna be apologizing for this in about an hour or so? 269 00:12:52,648 --> 00:12:54,524 - Sorry? - Blimey, that was quick. 270 00:12:54,608 --> 00:12:55,609 (Reporters laughing) 271 00:12:55,692 --> 00:12:56,735 Thank you. 272 00:12:59,071 --> 00:13:03,075 We should keep this causing offense and then apology cycle going. 273 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:06,995 You could step on my dress. I could sneeze in your drink. 274 00:13:07,079 --> 00:13:08,372 - It's funny. - It is funny. 275 00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:10,165 I could say you have a weird-shaped head. 276 00:13:10,540 --> 00:13:11,667 Which of course you don't. 277 00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:15,003 You have an ideal head, madam prime minister. 278 00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:18,507 But I'm very relieved that you have a sense of humor about it. 279 00:13:18,966 --> 00:13:21,093 The Finns are famous for their sense of humor. 280 00:13:21,259 --> 00:13:24,471 Do you know the work of aki kaurismaki? 281 00:13:24,554 --> 00:13:26,723 - The tennis player? - No. 282 00:13:26,848 --> 00:13:29,893 No. I'mjoking. I'mjoking now. 283 00:13:29,977 --> 00:13:32,896 In fact, we in america are also famous for our sense of humor. 284 00:13:33,605 --> 00:13:34,690 Yes. 285 00:13:34,773 --> 00:13:37,526 But seriously, I'm so pleased about the agreement 286 00:13:37,609 --> 00:13:39,486 that we were able to sign today. 287 00:13:39,945 --> 00:13:41,321 Danteeksi. 288 00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:44,116 "Anteeksi" in Finnish, it means, "I'm sorry." 289 00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:46,702 But the press have added "da." 290 00:13:48,245 --> 00:13:51,164 To make "danteeksi." Do you get it? 291 00:13:51,915 --> 00:13:53,875 - Very amusing. - You know the Finns are known 292 00:13:53,959 --> 00:13:56,294 - for their sense of humor. - Clearly, yeah. 293 00:13:56,378 --> 00:14:00,173 Danteeksi, I need to apologize to you in advance 294 00:14:00,257 --> 00:14:05,095 because I think that this is going to be the neverending sorry. 295 00:14:05,554 --> 00:14:07,014 - Yes! - (Laughing) 296 00:14:08,265 --> 00:14:10,225 As opposed to "story." 297 00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:11,435 - Yes. - Yes. 298 00:14:11,560 --> 00:14:12,894 (Both laughing) 299 00:14:13,020 --> 00:14:14,980 It's a wonderful country. 300 00:14:18,859 --> 00:14:19,859 (Cell phone ringing) 301 00:14:20,277 --> 00:14:22,487 Good evening. Office of the vice president. 302 00:14:22,654 --> 00:14:25,615 It's 2:00 pm, sue. Are you on antipsychotics or in Helsinki? 303 00:14:26,033 --> 00:14:27,951 I need you to engorge the vp's schedule. 304 00:14:28,035 --> 00:14:29,745 I want her charming the Helsinki people. 305 00:14:29,953 --> 00:14:32,080 You want me to pad the veep's schedule? 306 00:14:32,456 --> 00:14:34,082 - Why, sir? - Potus wants hands shaken 307 00:14:34,166 --> 00:14:35,667 and old women grinned at. 308 00:14:35,751 --> 00:14:37,836 Please accept the necessity of this as brute fact. 309 00:14:39,963 --> 00:14:42,758 Ever since we got here, all I've been doing is apologizing. 310 00:14:42,841 --> 00:14:44,652 Okay? I've been apologizing for canceling events, 311 00:14:44,676 --> 00:14:47,447 then apologizing for putting them back on. Then apologizing for apologizing. 312 00:14:47,471 --> 00:14:48,911 I mean, I'm a fucking laughingstock. 313 00:14:48,972 --> 00:14:51,016 If you burst into tears, stay away from this dress. 314 00:14:51,433 --> 00:14:52,684 (Cell phone ringing) 315 00:14:53,143 --> 00:14:54,186 - Mike. - Amy. 316 00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:57,564 Remember how we said that none of the students was a spy 317 00:14:57,647 --> 00:15:00,067 because if one of them was a spy, it would have endangered 318 00:15:00,150 --> 00:15:02,110 the lives of the other three who were not spies? 319 00:15:02,444 --> 00:15:03,724 Turns out one of them was a spy. 320 00:15:04,029 --> 00:15:06,198 - Everything okay? - Osmo: Hey, danteeksi. 321 00:15:06,615 --> 00:15:07,657 (Laughing) 322 00:15:08,033 --> 00:15:09,409 Fucking prick. 323 00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:15,165 The president told the veep that was bullshit and she is on record saying that's bullshit. 324 00:15:15,707 --> 00:15:17,459 Just keep her away from the press. 325 00:15:17,542 --> 00:15:19,270 She's already on lockdown 'cause of the song. 326 00:15:19,294 --> 00:15:20,754 Shall I put her in an iron mask? 327 00:15:21,046 --> 00:15:22,672 Yeah, great idea. 328 00:15:23,048 --> 00:15:24,257 Would you be offended 329 00:15:24,341 --> 00:15:26,551 if I just had a quick word with the finance minister? 330 00:15:26,635 --> 00:15:27,636 Oh, no, not at all. 331 00:15:28,887 --> 00:15:30,055 Minna. 332 00:15:31,139 --> 00:15:32,516 Your wife is so lovely. 333 00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:34,142 Yes, I'm quite a fortunate man. 334 00:15:34,309 --> 00:15:36,311 Well, you are. What a lovely thing to say. 335 00:15:36,728 --> 00:15:37,979 I'm dying for a smoke. 336 00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:40,941 Oh, yeah. Boy, tell me about it. I could use a cigarette myself. 337 00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:45,195 - I don't suppose that you... - Yes, that would be wonderful. 338 00:15:45,403 --> 00:15:47,364 This is my bag man, Gary Walsh. 339 00:15:47,614 --> 00:15:49,324 This is the prime minister's husband, 340 00:15:49,407 --> 00:15:51,785 osmo hakkinen. 341 00:15:51,910 --> 00:15:55,330 I believe in Finland bag man is kassi. 342 00:15:56,039 --> 00:15:57,082 Yes. 343 00:15:57,457 --> 00:15:58,708 Well, I'll see you outside. 344 00:15:59,042 --> 00:16:01,044 Yes, yes. Thank you very much. 345 00:16:01,128 --> 00:16:02,337 - That impressed him. - Yeah. 346 00:16:02,796 --> 00:16:04,273 Okay, this is cigarette number six for you. 347 00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:06,550 Okay, you need to calm the fuck down, judge Judy. 348 00:16:06,842 --> 00:16:09,302 I've been negotiating my ass off all day. 349 00:16:09,553 --> 00:16:10,873 And it's number five, by the way. 350 00:16:11,096 --> 00:16:12,514 I just want to avoid an incident. 351 00:16:12,597 --> 00:16:14,975 The Finns are very anti-smoking. 352 00:16:15,142 --> 00:16:16,309 Cool it, kassi. 353 00:16:19,896 --> 00:16:20,897 Mmm. 354 00:16:22,607 --> 00:16:24,192 - That's a relief. - Yes. 355 00:16:24,276 --> 00:16:27,362 I think it's just wonderful how supportive you are 356 00:16:27,571 --> 00:16:29,573 of minna's career, herjob, you know? 357 00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:32,868 Oh, well, it's only the prime minister of Finland. 358 00:16:32,993 --> 00:16:34,828 Less power than the mayor of Cleveland. 359 00:16:34,911 --> 00:16:35,912 (Selina laughing) 360 00:16:36,913 --> 00:16:38,999 Your secret service look about as tough as mine. 361 00:16:39,082 --> 00:16:40,542 Shall we get them to fight? 362 00:16:42,627 --> 00:16:44,671 Although, seeing as these cigarettes are the thing 363 00:16:44,754 --> 00:16:47,549 that's most likely going to kill me, I'm surprised that my secret... 364 00:16:51,970 --> 00:16:53,138 Jesus. 365 00:16:56,725 --> 00:16:59,102 Hey. Hey, I got you some breath fresheners. 366 00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:01,038 I got you some altoids and I got you some gum. 367 00:17:01,062 --> 00:17:03,231 Gary, my boob. 368 00:17:04,065 --> 00:17:05,150 What? 369 00:17:05,483 --> 00:17:07,027 - He grabbed it. - What? 370 00:17:07,444 --> 00:17:10,989 I'm the vice president of the United States of America. 371 00:17:11,281 --> 00:17:13,992 He just squeezed my tit like a balloon. 372 00:17:14,117 --> 00:17:15,785 - Mm-mmm. - Mm-hmm. 373 00:17:16,286 --> 00:17:19,080 Okay, I'm gonna go mess him up. 374 00:17:19,331 --> 00:17:21,166 - Just let me know. - Selina. 375 00:17:23,293 --> 00:17:25,879 Are you quite feeling all right? You're very pale. 376 00:17:26,046 --> 00:17:28,316 Perhaps you should go to the courtyard, get some fresh air. 377 00:17:28,340 --> 00:17:30,258 - No, thank you. - No? 378 00:17:32,844 --> 00:17:34,471 This is erkki. 379 00:17:34,721 --> 00:17:37,474 He is our head of economic development. 380 00:17:37,599 --> 00:17:41,436 Yes, he has only two anecdotes. Neither of them is worth hearing. 381 00:17:41,811 --> 00:17:45,065 Hey, ma'am, I just got a text from the white house. 382 00:17:45,148 --> 00:17:46,733 - Ah! - Nothing bad, I hope. 383 00:17:46,816 --> 00:17:50,111 Just a major violation of a border. 384 00:17:50,362 --> 00:17:52,072 You get this in a text? 385 00:17:52,155 --> 00:17:53,240 - Yeah. - Yeah. 386 00:17:53,323 --> 00:17:57,035 The only text I get is from my husband saying I am being late home again. 387 00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:59,579 - Might want to... - Yeah. 388 00:18:00,705 --> 00:18:03,083 - Just breathe. Just breathe. Just breathe. - Oh, my god. 389 00:18:03,166 --> 00:18:05,460 - Did you see? - Oh, my god. How could you not? 390 00:18:05,543 --> 00:18:07,712 - Did you see this? - Yes. Yes. 391 00:18:07,796 --> 00:18:10,382 I'm gonna get you some water. He looks like a Disney villain. 392 00:18:11,633 --> 00:18:13,343 (Gary speaking Finnish) 393 00:18:13,885 --> 00:18:16,513 Jesus, Gary. You look leukemic. 394 00:18:16,721 --> 00:18:17,847 I always do. That's my look. 395 00:18:18,181 --> 00:18:20,901 Yeah, well, you are rocking that look pretty hard tonight, my friend. 396 00:18:21,142 --> 00:18:22,143 Quite a night. 397 00:18:23,561 --> 00:18:25,188 I'll fucking say. 398 00:18:26,481 --> 00:18:27,732 Did garyjust text you? 399 00:18:28,024 --> 00:18:29,693 - Gary knows? - Yeah. 400 00:18:29,859 --> 00:18:31,528 Jesus, Mike's gone viral. 401 00:18:32,529 --> 00:18:33,529 Mike? 402 00:18:33,571 --> 00:18:35,115 We're talking about 403 00:18:35,198 --> 00:18:36,884 - potus lying about the spy. - Osmo groped me. 404 00:18:36,908 --> 00:18:37,909 - What? - What? 405 00:18:38,243 --> 00:18:39,911 - He what? - He fucking what? 406 00:18:39,995 --> 00:18:41,788 - Did you tell her? - He... he... 407 00:18:41,871 --> 00:18:43,790 He told me those rumors weren't true. 408 00:18:43,873 --> 00:18:46,418 Can you believe that monster? 409 00:18:46,543 --> 00:18:48,712 - Wait, wait, wait. What happened? - What did you say? 410 00:18:48,962 --> 00:18:49,963 - Potus. - He groped her. 411 00:18:50,839 --> 00:18:52,132 - Potus groped you? - No. 412 00:18:52,215 --> 00:18:53,776 Potus wouldn't have the balls to grope me. 413 00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:57,721 - He knew and he lied? - Wait, wait, knew what? Lied about what? 414 00:18:57,971 --> 00:19:00,473 Potus knew that the student was a spy 415 00:19:00,557 --> 00:19:02,535 and didn't inform the congressional intel committee. 416 00:19:02,559 --> 00:19:05,103 - Shit! Shit! - What were you talking about? 417 00:19:05,687 --> 00:19:07,605 Osmo groped me. 418 00:19:07,814 --> 00:19:09,357 Shit! 419 00:19:09,733 --> 00:19:14,237 We need to rain down the full might of our nuclear arsenal on Finland. 420 00:19:15,572 --> 00:19:17,449 That's the other thing I forgot to tell you. 421 00:19:17,991 --> 00:19:19,367 We're gonna blow up Finland. 422 00:19:20,702 --> 00:19:22,555 Kent: Can I help you? Ben: Where the fuck you been? 423 00:19:22,579 --> 00:19:23,997 Don't tell me. You've been polling. 424 00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:26,875 I bet when you take a crap, it actually comes out as a number two. 425 00:19:27,625 --> 00:19:29,669 Listen, we've got to tell the president 426 00:19:29,753 --> 00:19:32,005 that he has to admit that this student was a spy. 427 00:19:32,088 --> 00:19:34,341 I'm still collating whether admitting is the best course. 428 00:19:34,424 --> 00:19:37,010 I can't believe you're still checking the fucking wind direction. 429 00:19:37,093 --> 00:19:40,180 I need more time before the truth can emerge in such a... 430 00:19:40,930 --> 00:19:41,973 Congressman furlong. 431 00:19:42,057 --> 00:19:44,035 Yeah, the blank looks are not gonna play here, all right? 432 00:19:44,059 --> 00:19:45,870 You two have been caught with your balls in grandma's mouth. 433 00:19:45,894 --> 00:19:47,654 Everybody's talking about it up on the hill. 434 00:19:48,104 --> 00:19:51,524 I know what I know. I don't know what you think you know. 435 00:19:51,608 --> 00:19:54,486 Screw you and your confucius grasshopper bullshit, all right? 436 00:19:55,070 --> 00:19:57,655 Everybody's gonna know. That's just the way these things go. 437 00:19:57,989 --> 00:20:00,825 Now people think potus lied about that kid being a spy. 438 00:20:01,284 --> 00:20:04,245 I want to know what you two spunk junkies propose we do about it. 439 00:20:04,329 --> 00:20:05,372 (Knock on door) 440 00:20:05,455 --> 00:20:07,832 Sorry, Kent, I just had a quick question about... 441 00:20:07,916 --> 00:20:10,335 Do they know? Laurel and retardy? 442 00:20:10,502 --> 00:20:12,879 Tell you what, Mike. I need you to add these summaries 443 00:20:12,962 --> 00:20:15,757 to the rollout overview. Okay? Go. 444 00:20:17,133 --> 00:20:18,885 - Round two. - Well... 445 00:20:18,968 --> 00:20:20,637 - Senator Doyle. - Gentlemen, gentlemen. 446 00:20:21,221 --> 00:20:23,431 Well, I hope I get my five free punches. 447 00:20:23,932 --> 00:20:26,226 I'm the fucking chair of senate intel, 448 00:20:26,309 --> 00:20:29,896 which means that I'm supposed to be informed of any covert action. 449 00:20:29,979 --> 00:20:31,898 We're all on the same team here, right? 450 00:20:31,981 --> 00:20:33,066 Right, team fuckup. 451 00:20:33,149 --> 00:20:35,026 Yeah, I got my membership card here somewhere. 452 00:20:35,110 --> 00:20:36,796 - I can't find it. - You need to look at the bigger picture. 453 00:20:36,820 --> 00:20:38,154 I've seen the bigger picture. 454 00:20:38,321 --> 00:20:40,281 Shows potus lying to the American people. 455 00:20:40,532 --> 00:20:42,742 I'm telling you, this is not just a crisis. 456 00:20:42,826 --> 00:20:46,371 This is at least 10 years of Oliver stone movies. 457 00:20:46,496 --> 00:20:48,164 Yeah, not the good ones. Not platoon. 458 00:20:48,498 --> 00:20:50,792 Doyle: What the fuck is wrong with you, Kent? 459 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:54,712 Seriously, when you pull the pin out, you're supposed to throw the grenade away. 460 00:20:54,796 --> 00:20:56,798 You don't stick it up your own freakin' ass. 461 00:20:57,549 --> 00:20:58,675 That I'd like to see. 462 00:20:59,008 --> 00:21:00,593 - I need a cigarette. - Oh, god. 463 00:21:00,677 --> 00:21:03,471 No, not, "oh, god." Just get me the goddamn cigarette. 464 00:21:03,888 --> 00:21:06,558 The president, the one I support, 465 00:21:06,641 --> 00:21:10,770 the one that I am loyal to as my job, 466 00:21:10,854 --> 00:21:12,188 lies to me. Right? 467 00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:16,401 Okay, after I apologized for apologizing, 468 00:21:16,484 --> 00:21:19,612 I started to put meet-the-people events back in your schedule. 469 00:21:19,821 --> 00:21:21,990 Cancel them all and apologize for cancelling. 470 00:21:22,198 --> 00:21:24,200 Oh, Jesus, more apologizing? Really? 471 00:21:24,284 --> 00:21:26,828 I apologized less after I banged my brother's fiance. 472 00:21:26,911 --> 00:21:29,164 What are you bitching about? Are you kidding? 473 00:21:29,247 --> 00:21:32,125 I'm the one who's under pressure. Get it together, lady. 474 00:21:32,709 --> 00:21:35,753 What about the grope? I mean, come on. 475 00:21:35,879 --> 00:21:38,798 - Thank you. - That is an attack on america. 476 00:21:38,923 --> 00:21:42,719 All right? That's like a sexual 9/11 in my opinion. 477 00:21:43,595 --> 00:21:46,389 Or a sexual Cuban missile crisis at the least. 478 00:21:46,848 --> 00:21:48,892 It's not like we can go public about the grope. 479 00:21:48,975 --> 00:21:50,685 - It would define you. - Right. 480 00:21:50,768 --> 00:21:54,355 Your tit being fondled by a Finn would be all you're remembered for. 481 00:21:54,481 --> 00:21:56,524 - Yeah. - You can't build a statue on that. 482 00:21:56,608 --> 00:21:59,944 That's right. Nobody can know about this. 483 00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:02,822 - All right? Especially Kent. - Oh, yeah. 484 00:22:02,906 --> 00:22:05,026 And why is that? Because he's gonna use it against me. 485 00:22:05,074 --> 00:22:06,451 - A grope matrix. - Right. 486 00:22:07,577 --> 00:22:08,745 Because he's a man. 487 00:22:10,121 --> 00:22:13,500 Because this is a man's world that we live in. 488 00:22:15,293 --> 00:22:18,755 Because of the axis of dick. 489 00:22:30,850 --> 00:22:32,519 This fish is delicious. 490 00:22:32,936 --> 00:22:35,480 - What is this fish? - It is chicken. 491 00:22:35,772 --> 00:22:37,565 - The breast? - Yes. 492 00:22:37,774 --> 00:22:41,861 In america, we actually call fish "chicken of the sea." 493 00:22:42,278 --> 00:22:43,363 Osmo: I love fish. 494 00:22:44,614 --> 00:22:46,991 Some men do not like the taste. I do. 495 00:22:50,578 --> 00:22:51,913 Thank you. 496 00:22:52,038 --> 00:22:53,122 Madam prime minister, 497 00:22:53,206 --> 00:22:56,376 I don't believe I've had a chance to introduce you to Gary Walsh. 498 00:22:56,459 --> 00:22:58,127 No. No, you have not. 499 00:22:58,211 --> 00:22:59,671 I'm the vp's bag man, 500 00:23:00,129 --> 00:23:02,465 which I believe in Finland you say kassi. 501 00:23:02,632 --> 00:23:06,344 - Excuse me? - I'm a kassi. 502 00:23:06,427 --> 00:23:08,137 (All laugh) 503 00:23:09,472 --> 00:23:11,724 Where did you get this translation from? 504 00:23:11,808 --> 00:23:14,477 I have a Finnish friend in DC who works at the embassy 505 00:23:14,561 --> 00:23:16,646 and she gave me lessons before I came. 506 00:23:16,938 --> 00:23:19,774 You see, kassi is bag, 507 00:23:19,857 --> 00:23:22,443 but it's not bag man. 508 00:23:22,777 --> 00:23:25,446 It is a man bag. You know? (Grunts) 509 00:23:25,655 --> 00:23:27,323 It is a container. 510 00:23:27,657 --> 00:23:29,742 It is a testicle container. 511 00:23:30,868 --> 00:23:33,830 - (People laughing) - Oh, no. Don't feel ashamed, Gary. 512 00:23:34,330 --> 00:23:36,624 Because, of course, you're not a ball sack. 513 00:23:36,708 --> 00:23:38,710 And not everyone can say that they're not... 514 00:23:38,835 --> 00:23:40,378 Excuse me, I'm so sorry... 515 00:23:40,878 --> 00:23:42,297 A ball sack. 516 00:23:42,755 --> 00:23:45,049 Not even everyone at this very table. 517 00:23:46,551 --> 00:23:50,513 Kent wants me to add these regional summaries from the thumb drive. 518 00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:51,720 All right, how do you add? 519 00:23:51,764 --> 00:23:53,182 Command a, hombre. 520 00:23:53,266 --> 00:23:54,726 I always thought it was control a. 521 00:23:55,018 --> 00:23:57,770 Okay, here we go. Send. 522 00:23:59,272 --> 00:24:00,690 Shit, maybe it was control a. 523 00:24:01,399 --> 00:24:02,859 I think you might have selected all 524 00:24:02,942 --> 00:24:04,902 and sent everything that was on that thumb drive. 525 00:24:05,111 --> 00:24:07,071 - That's what you told me to do. - No, ldidn't. 526 00:24:07,196 --> 00:24:09,157 - You said command a. - No, I said control a. 527 00:24:09,365 --> 00:24:12,201 You just couldn't hear me because you didn't have your ear trumpet. 528 00:24:13,745 --> 00:24:15,848 I feel like I want to burn this thing. Can I burn this computer? 529 00:24:15,872 --> 00:24:17,072 Why would you burn that, Mike? 530 00:24:20,209 --> 00:24:21,794 Mike? Excuse me. 531 00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:25,089 What's up? 532 00:24:25,214 --> 00:24:27,967 We just sent out Kent's polling consultation on the spy. 533 00:24:28,176 --> 00:24:29,427 What spy? 534 00:24:29,594 --> 00:24:31,179 One of the hostages was a spy. 535 00:24:33,222 --> 00:24:36,726 Oh, fuck you, Mike. You're career poison. Do you know that? 536 00:24:36,809 --> 00:24:39,937 Jesus, that's why you like sailing, because you're a fucking anchor 537 00:24:40,021 --> 00:24:42,815 dragging promising careers down to the bottom of the fucking ocean. 538 00:24:42,899 --> 00:24:45,026 Stop it. This was just phase one stuff. 539 00:24:45,109 --> 00:24:47,278 Sample questions like, "what if the president lied?" 540 00:24:47,737 --> 00:24:49,489 But not that. That sounds bad. 541 00:24:49,572 --> 00:24:51,991 It was more coded, which still is bad. 542 00:24:52,450 --> 00:24:53,576 Yeah. 543 00:24:55,370 --> 00:24:57,210 I mean, it would have gotten out anyway, right? 544 00:24:58,081 --> 00:25:00,083 This is the Internet age. Nothing stays a secret. 545 00:25:00,291 --> 00:25:03,169 - Yeah, yeah, and it's DC. - It's DC. Everybody here talks. 546 00:25:03,252 --> 00:25:05,463 Yeah, look, all we got to do is stay calm. 547 00:25:05,546 --> 00:25:07,650 - We just got to stay calm. - Keep walking, avoid any... 548 00:25:07,674 --> 00:25:10,968 It doesn't work like that. Mike, hold up. 549 00:25:11,260 --> 00:25:14,138 If you'd see the way I framed the question, you'd understand that. 550 00:25:14,263 --> 00:25:16,383 Well, tell that to Oprah when you mount your comeback. 551 00:25:16,432 --> 00:25:18,976 I mean, you sent it to me and every second bozo in the building. 552 00:25:19,143 --> 00:25:21,312 - No, ldidn't. - What the fuck were you thinking? 553 00:25:21,396 --> 00:25:23,523 Look, you marked it highly confidential, 554 00:25:23,606 --> 00:25:27,026 thereby guaranteeing that this thing is gonna go viral. 555 00:25:27,610 --> 00:25:30,530 The vice president was groped by the Finnish prime minister's husband. 556 00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:33,449 What? Why are you telling me that? 557 00:25:33,783 --> 00:25:35,803 - That's just weird. - Yeah, that's really unfortunate. 558 00:25:35,827 --> 00:25:37,870 Was that up in the hills, or down in the valley? 559 00:25:38,830 --> 00:25:40,641 Sir, I was thinking the eye of Sauron, you know? 560 00:25:40,665 --> 00:25:42,625 Keep the focus on Helsinki. 561 00:25:43,918 --> 00:25:45,712 - Sailing. - Well, congratulations, Kent. 562 00:25:45,795 --> 00:25:47,672 You just brought down this presidency. 563 00:25:49,966 --> 00:25:52,844 Well, the weather here in Helsinki has been 564 00:25:53,261 --> 00:25:54,303 hellishly cold. 565 00:25:55,221 --> 00:25:56,973 Kent's polling data got e-mailed. 566 00:25:57,098 --> 00:25:58,891 Potus's spy lie just went public. 567 00:25:59,475 --> 00:26:01,769 Okay, we're pulling out. Let's go, shortest q&a ever. 568 00:26:01,978 --> 00:26:04,063 Danteeksi! Danteeksi! 569 00:26:05,022 --> 00:26:07,022 Guys, okay, we've got some weather to contend with, 570 00:26:07,066 --> 00:26:08,818 so we only have time for three questions. 571 00:26:08,901 --> 00:26:10,153 You will be hearing from me. 572 00:26:10,236 --> 00:26:11,946 - Yes? Yes? - Yes. Yes. 573 00:26:12,113 --> 00:26:13,448 - Good-bye. - Good-bye. Oh! 574 00:26:13,990 --> 00:26:15,199 Two more questions. 575 00:26:15,283 --> 00:26:17,243 Was the visit about the agreement or the song? 576 00:26:17,326 --> 00:26:20,913 We are very pleased about the agreement and we are agreed on that. 577 00:26:20,997 --> 00:26:23,100 And that was actually two questions, so I'm afraid we gotta go. 578 00:26:23,124 --> 00:26:26,919 Where I come from, we kill people for looking at us funny. 579 00:26:27,170 --> 00:26:30,256 We waterboard folks who haven't even done anything. 580 00:26:30,339 --> 00:26:32,341 And you raped my tit. 581 00:26:32,467 --> 00:26:35,344 - Oh... - Oh, yeah, you did. 582 00:26:35,511 --> 00:26:36,929 So I'm coming for you, 583 00:26:37,346 --> 00:26:39,515 'cause I'm an angry bird right now 584 00:26:41,350 --> 00:26:42,560 and you're a pig. 585 00:26:42,810 --> 00:26:44,729 British reporter: Selina! Selina! 586 00:26:44,854 --> 00:26:46,981 Will you apologize for the spy? 587 00:26:47,148 --> 00:26:50,234 Did the president know that one of the hostages was CIA? 588 00:26:50,359 --> 00:26:52,570 - Did you know? - I stand with the president. 589 00:26:53,529 --> 00:26:54,947 (Grunts) 590 00:26:57,950 --> 00:26:59,994 "I stand with the president"? 591 00:27:00,620 --> 00:27:01,704 Why did I say that? 592 00:27:02,121 --> 00:27:03,348 Can we pretend you didn't say it? 593 00:27:03,372 --> 00:27:04,999 What will people think I mean? 594 00:27:05,666 --> 00:27:07,026 That you stand with the president. 595 00:27:07,251 --> 00:27:09,462 I mean, there's not a ton of ambiguity with that one. 596 00:27:09,545 --> 00:27:12,507 Well, who knew that being sexually assaulted 597 00:27:12,590 --> 00:27:15,343 wouldn't be the worst thing to happen in my day, huh? 598 00:27:15,718 --> 00:27:17,038 That's something for the memoirs. 599 00:27:17,094 --> 00:27:18,554 I am never going back there. 600 00:27:19,180 --> 00:27:20,848 "Danteeksi"? I'm sorry. 601 00:27:21,224 --> 00:27:24,560 Sorry I ever set foot in that fucking fish-eating, indie film fucking hellhole. 602 00:27:24,644 --> 00:27:26,354 Come on. Get over it. 603 00:27:26,562 --> 00:27:28,105 I told everybody I was a scrotum. 604 00:27:28,981 --> 00:27:30,021 Yeah, you did, didn't you? 605 00:27:30,900 --> 00:27:32,276 - It's okay. - Did you hear that? 606 00:27:32,777 --> 00:27:35,571 - He's not. - Ma'am, are you okay? 607 00:27:36,989 --> 00:27:39,033 I don't know. I guess so. Sure. 608 00:27:42,119 --> 00:27:45,623 I mean, would it be so hard for people not to be assholes? 609 00:27:46,040 --> 00:27:47,041 I wouldn't know. 610 00:27:47,124 --> 00:27:48,626 (Selina coughing) 611 00:27:50,503 --> 00:27:52,046 Why are you coughing, ma'am? 612 00:27:55,967 --> 00:27:57,718 Because I caught a cold. 613 00:27:58,845 --> 00:28:00,906 Oh, look, I just found out who that British reporter is. 614 00:28:00,930 --> 00:28:03,724 The creepy guy. He was like a noisy fucking ghost, really. 615 00:28:03,808 --> 00:28:05,393 What's his name? I'll Google him. 616 00:28:05,768 --> 00:28:07,603 - Dave wickford. - Dave wickford. 617 00:28:07,687 --> 00:28:11,315 Yeah, it says divorced twice, no kids. 618 00:28:12,066 --> 00:28:15,111 57 Twitter followers. That's shit for a journalist. 619 00:28:15,278 --> 00:28:17,530 Selina: Europe used to be my favorite continent. (Coughs) 620 00:28:18,322 --> 00:28:20,116 Now it's not even in my top 5.