1 00:00:18,311 --> 00:00:19,228 Selina: Andrew, you know what? 2 00:00:19,312 --> 00:00:22,356 You resented my success when we were married, okay? 3 00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:24,984 But now it is absolutely eating you raw. 4 00:00:25,067 --> 00:00:26,086 You were the best thing to ever happen to him 5 00:00:26,110 --> 00:00:27,254 - and he threw it away. - Yeah, 6 00:00:27,278 --> 00:00:28,755 you were the best thing... I was the best thing 7 00:00:28,779 --> 00:00:30,757 that ever happened to you and you just threw it away. 8 00:00:30,781 --> 00:00:33,468 Ma'am, we have to go now if you want to catch Kent for a hostages meeting. 9 00:00:33,492 --> 00:00:37,538 Okay, listen, I will not have you undermine me with Catherine. 10 00:00:37,622 --> 00:00:39,707 - Will you be wanting a clutch? - I will. 11 00:00:39,790 --> 00:00:41,542 - Okay. - I will not. 12 00:00:41,626 --> 00:00:43,753 - Oh, you don't? - No, no, I will. I want the bag. 13 00:00:43,836 --> 00:00:46,380 No, I want Catherine to spend Thanksgiving with me, 14 00:00:46,464 --> 00:00:48,216 not some random boyfriend. 15 00:00:48,299 --> 00:00:51,719 And what about poor memaw, who's guaranteed to be dead by march? 16 00:00:51,802 --> 00:00:52,970 With any luck. 17 00:00:53,054 --> 00:00:54,764 Mmm-hmm. Well, congratulations. 18 00:00:54,847 --> 00:00:57,600 You have successfully learned how to manipulate Catherine. 19 00:00:58,559 --> 00:01:00,561 How is that insulting to her? 20 00:01:00,645 --> 00:01:02,939 God, you just turn it all around... okay. 21 00:01:03,022 --> 00:01:04,732 - Just hanging up on him. - Shall we go? 22 00:01:04,815 --> 00:01:06,752 - Yeah, let's just get out. - There's some advil in the bag. 23 00:01:06,776 --> 00:01:08,837 Yeah, I hope we have a number for a contract killer, too. 24 00:01:08,861 --> 00:01:09,904 I'll do it. 25 00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:14,533 Nice wheels, Mike. This new? 26 00:01:14,617 --> 00:01:16,369 Not quite. Like your mother, 27 00:01:16,452 --> 00:01:19,372 it's been previously loved and paid for by a couple of guys. 28 00:01:19,455 --> 00:01:21,332 I guess this means you cleared your debts, huh? 29 00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:23,709 No, I've added this to my debt. 30 00:01:23,793 --> 00:01:27,004 The old "drink your way out of alcoholism" approach. 31 00:01:27,088 --> 00:01:30,424 - I like it. - No, this isn't like when I drank. 32 00:01:30,508 --> 00:01:32,593 You had a drinking problem? 33 00:01:32,677 --> 00:01:35,096 Not a problem. An issue. 34 00:01:35,179 --> 00:01:37,265 Not even an issue. A hitch. 35 00:01:37,348 --> 00:01:38,933 You had a drinking hitch? 36 00:01:39,016 --> 00:01:41,102 Dan, I owe 100 grand. 37 00:01:41,185 --> 00:01:43,187 Nothing I can do will change that. 38 00:01:43,271 --> 00:01:45,940 So, I've accepted what I cannot change. 39 00:01:46,023 --> 00:01:47,692 A few extra grand doesn't matter. 40 00:01:47,775 --> 00:01:49,610 Are you drunk right now? 41 00:01:49,694 --> 00:01:51,862 Morning, Mr. Egan. Have you read the regionality paper? 42 00:01:51,946 --> 00:01:53,739 - No. - Okay. 43 00:01:53,823 --> 00:01:55,741 Have a great day. 44 00:01:55,825 --> 00:01:58,286 - I get that all the time. - No, you don't. 45 00:01:58,869 --> 00:02:02,623 But I need to talk to that autistic lumberjack son of a bitch. 46 00:02:02,707 --> 00:02:04,292 There he is. Hi, Kent. 47 00:02:04,375 --> 00:02:07,044 - Madam vice president. - Hey, I heard you were doing pilates. 48 00:02:07,128 --> 00:02:08,796 I didn't know you had a core. 49 00:02:08,879 --> 00:02:10,298 I do and it's like steel. 50 00:02:11,048 --> 00:02:14,802 So are we really not doing anything about the hostages now? 51 00:02:14,885 --> 00:02:17,722 - Nothing at all? - We are doing something. 52 00:02:17,805 --> 00:02:19,473 - Yeah? What are we doing? - Nothing. 53 00:02:19,557 --> 00:02:21,350 Until the numbers support intervention, 54 00:02:21,434 --> 00:02:23,769 doing nothing is the most positive thing we can do. 55 00:02:23,853 --> 00:02:25,980 You know, it's just so great talking to you, Kent. 56 00:02:26,063 --> 00:02:27,690 I love being close to the inaction. 57 00:02:27,773 --> 00:02:30,210 The national security meeting this afternoon is still happening, right? 58 00:02:30,234 --> 00:02:34,447 Yes, 4:30. Hostages and the sm-17 missile defense system sale 59 00:02:34,530 --> 00:02:36,198 to Israel will both be discussed. 60 00:02:36,282 --> 00:02:38,326 Sm-17d. There's a lower case d. 61 00:02:38,409 --> 00:02:40,049 - Apologies, sir. - Details are important. 62 00:02:40,119 --> 00:02:43,372 - A misplaced decimal point can kill a diabetic. - Yes, sir. 63 00:02:43,456 --> 00:02:45,791 I look foward to attending the meeting as per our deal. 64 00:02:45,875 --> 00:02:48,002 Potus would love to have you there, as would I. 65 00:02:48,085 --> 00:02:50,504 That's if you can possibly be back in time. 66 00:02:50,588 --> 00:02:53,132 - Back in time from what? - I'm sorry, I have an 8:45. 67 00:02:53,215 --> 00:02:54,508 - Mr. Ryan. - Yes, sir. 68 00:02:54,592 --> 00:02:57,011 - What? Kent? - Uh, ma'am. 69 00:02:57,094 --> 00:02:59,305 - Yes? - The listen to rural america program 70 00:02:59,388 --> 00:03:01,974 that you okayed with potus after the midterms is looking... 71 00:03:02,058 --> 00:03:04,161 You know what? Why don't you put on your running shoes 72 00:03:04,185 --> 00:03:06,228 and get to the fucking point, Jonah? 73 00:03:06,312 --> 00:03:08,672 The north Carolina pork board is having a pig picking today. 74 00:03:08,773 --> 00:03:10,858 Sounds classy. Will Kate middleton be there? 75 00:03:10,941 --> 00:03:12,419 Potus would like to get you down there 76 00:03:12,443 --> 00:03:15,696 and utilize your people skills to kick off us, hey. 77 00:03:15,780 --> 00:03:17,500 - That's what they're gonna call it? - Yeah. 78 00:03:17,573 --> 00:03:19,367 Who came up with that incredibly shitty name? 79 00:03:19,450 --> 00:03:21,035 That would be me, ma'am. 80 00:03:21,118 --> 00:03:23,537 Okay, so they want me to go to a pig roast 81 00:03:23,621 --> 00:03:26,499 to meet a bunch of men who probably took turns 82 00:03:26,582 --> 00:03:29,251 to fuck the pig before they roasted it? 83 00:03:29,335 --> 00:03:30,687 I wouldn't presume they took turns. 84 00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:33,047 Let me tell you something. I'm going to that 4:30 meeting 85 00:03:33,130 --> 00:03:34,983 even if I have to get sue to fly around the world 86 00:03:35,007 --> 00:03:37,551 the wrong way like Superman and reverse time. 87 00:03:37,635 --> 00:03:39,303 - Do you understand that? - Yes, ma'am. 88 00:03:39,387 --> 00:03:40,763 Okay. 89 00:03:40,971 --> 00:03:44,558 Um, ma'am, uh, my dad has taken a turn for the worse. 90 00:03:44,642 --> 00:03:46,745 I'm thinking this pig picking is a good opportunity... 91 00:03:46,769 --> 00:03:48,289 Oh, yeah, skip it. Skip it. Go to him. 92 00:03:48,354 --> 00:03:50,731 I'll bring you back a sandwich and a six-toed husband. 93 00:03:50,815 --> 00:03:53,859 - Maybe if she landed at a different base... - Gary. 94 00:03:54,110 --> 00:03:56,278 This is not your area of expertise. 95 00:03:56,362 --> 00:03:58,656 It's just typing into a calendar. 96 00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:01,534 - Dan: 0th -I'm sorry, sue. - Your job is really difficult. 97 00:04:01,617 --> 00:04:03,536 - Excuse me? - You do it very efficiently. 98 00:04:03,619 --> 00:04:05,746 - Selina: Gary. - Oh, thank you, Jesus. 99 00:04:05,830 --> 00:04:08,124 We got to go. We're gonna go mix with the Hicks. 100 00:04:08,207 --> 00:04:10,709 Congressman furlong called and he'd like some face time. 101 00:04:10,793 --> 00:04:13,838 Okay, well, let's see, I'd rather set fire to my vulva. 102 00:04:13,921 --> 00:04:15,089 So that's a no. 103 00:04:15,172 --> 00:04:18,193 He's in town trying to play nice for a possible senate run in the next year or so. 104 00:04:18,217 --> 00:04:19,260 Selina: Seriously? 105 00:04:19,343 --> 00:04:22,179 Roger furlong trying to play nice is like Brando trying to play Annie. 106 00:04:22,263 --> 00:04:23,865 - That's a good one, Mike. - Thanks, ma'am. 107 00:04:23,889 --> 00:04:25,766 Wait. Ma'am? 108 00:04:25,850 --> 00:04:27,810 I just got a message here. Something about a paper 109 00:04:27,852 --> 00:04:29,830 that your daughter wrote that ended up on some guy's blog. 110 00:04:29,854 --> 00:04:32,982 See, this is why China regulates their Internet. What does it say? 111 00:04:33,065 --> 00:04:35,734 I don't know. Some film studies course. A paper she wrote. 112 00:04:35,818 --> 00:04:37,796 Did you know that I'm paying 65 grand a year to that school? 113 00:04:37,820 --> 00:04:40,948 They had better be putting gold on that popcorn instead of butter, right? 114 00:04:41,031 --> 00:04:43,492 - Jonah: Oh, ma'am! - What? Oh, no. 115 00:04:43,576 --> 00:04:45,870 - I'm out of here. - I'm coming with you. 116 00:04:45,953 --> 00:04:48,956 - What? - Potus wants me to monitor us, hey 117 00:04:49,039 --> 00:04:51,292 - as kind of my pet project. - Oh, for fuck's sakes. 118 00:04:51,375 --> 00:04:55,254 This must be the first pet project of yours that didn't involve resorting to chloroform. 119 00:04:55,337 --> 00:04:57,423 Yeah, well, it's early days, Mike. 120 00:04:57,506 --> 00:04:59,025 Can you take care of this Catherine business? 121 00:04:59,049 --> 00:05:00,849 - I've got some place I've got to be. - Where? 122 00:05:00,926 --> 00:05:04,263 Well, I think I might have found a way to get to Kent davison. 123 00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:06,348 If you kill his mother and then dress in her skin, 124 00:05:06,432 --> 00:05:07,600 that's technically illegal. 125 00:05:07,683 --> 00:05:09,268 Technically. 126 00:05:11,228 --> 00:05:15,649 The veep's office is pumped about the new foreign policy portfolio, sir. 127 00:05:18,194 --> 00:05:19,987 And I read this really interesting paper 128 00:05:20,070 --> 00:05:22,364 on how regionality 129 00:05:22,448 --> 00:05:25,993 is actually a more significant political prism than nationality. 130 00:05:26,076 --> 00:05:29,288 Did you justjoin this pilates studio, Mr. Egan? 131 00:05:29,371 --> 00:05:31,916 Yeah. Yeah, you know, it's convenient. 132 00:05:31,999 --> 00:05:34,418 - Where do you live? - Nearby. 133 00:05:34,502 --> 00:05:36,837 Local to here. 134 00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:44,011 I hear the hostage situation is really heating up. 135 00:05:44,094 --> 00:05:45,513 I hope you've done pilates before. 136 00:05:45,596 --> 00:05:48,641 People think they can just get on one of these machines. 137 00:05:48,724 --> 00:05:52,019 No. Six months I did before I got on this. 138 00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:56,065 Yeah, well, I'm all about the long-term goals. 139 00:06:01,904 --> 00:06:03,447 Mike, look at this. 140 00:06:05,157 --> 00:06:06,951 Look at this, Mike. 141 00:06:09,161 --> 00:06:10,913 Just sipping some coffee. Air force two. 142 00:06:11,247 --> 00:06:14,041 Real good. Take a picture of me looking out the window. 143 00:06:14,124 --> 00:06:15,543 Jonah. Jonah, calm down. 144 00:06:15,626 --> 00:06:18,003 It's a plane with a logo. It's not space mountain. 145 00:06:18,087 --> 00:06:20,965 What the hell do you do on air force one, rub your dick on the seats? 146 00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:24,552 I haven't actually been on air force one. 147 00:06:24,635 --> 00:06:26,053 - What? - I haven't been... 148 00:06:26,136 --> 00:06:27,137 Mike: Oh! 149 00:06:27,763 --> 00:06:29,056 - Maam. - Ugh! 150 00:06:31,267 --> 00:06:33,477 - How you doing, Mike? - I'm doing great, ma'am. 151 00:06:33,561 --> 00:06:35,729 Heard about your financial situation. 152 00:06:35,813 --> 00:06:37,398 You know, the boat and everything. 153 00:06:37,481 --> 00:06:38,816 It's fine. 154 00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:41,860 I've changed the only thing I can, my reaction to things. 155 00:06:42,111 --> 00:06:44,405 And your boxers occasionally, I hope. 156 00:06:44,488 --> 00:06:45,799 I have a fresh pair every day now. 157 00:06:45,823 --> 00:06:48,033 Oh! Good for you, Mike. 158 00:06:48,117 --> 00:06:49,827 Hey, ma'am? 159 00:06:50,286 --> 00:06:51,453 What, Gary? What's wrong? 160 00:06:51,537 --> 00:06:54,164 I know you think I'm melodramatic, ma'am. 161 00:06:54,248 --> 00:06:56,083 I know you're melodramatic. 162 00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:58,377 Our world has just ended. 163 00:07:04,383 --> 00:07:05,801 Mike! 164 00:07:08,012 --> 00:07:09,430 Read this. 165 00:07:11,056 --> 00:07:12,558 What is this? 166 00:07:14,351 --> 00:07:17,813 Mike: "Revealed. Selina's secret stash of signals. 167 00:07:17,896 --> 00:07:19,833 "When the vp rubs her right ear, an aide will tell her 168 00:07:19,857 --> 00:07:21,942 "she has an important call that she must take. 169 00:07:22,026 --> 00:07:24,778 "In an unwanted conversation, this is her exit strategy." 170 00:07:24,862 --> 00:07:28,490 All right, well, somebody wikileaked the code. 171 00:07:28,574 --> 00:07:31,118 So we can't use those. We need new signals. 172 00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:32,620 Gary: Those signals took years. 173 00:07:32,703 --> 00:07:34,496 I can't just tear up the gestictionary 174 00:07:34,580 --> 00:07:36,182 and come up with new codes like that. 175 00:07:36,206 --> 00:07:38,184 Okay, that could be a signal. Kind of a silent click. 176 00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:39,728 Would you please... okay, could you just... 177 00:07:39,752 --> 00:07:41,271 I just need something basic for today. 178 00:07:41,295 --> 00:07:43,172 I don't want to get stuck talking pig shit 179 00:07:43,255 --> 00:07:45,215 with people who use hay as furniture. 180 00:07:45,299 --> 00:07:47,259 I need an exit strategy 181 00:07:47,343 --> 00:07:49,261 to be in DC by 4:30, so start thinking. 182 00:07:49,345 --> 00:07:51,513 Okay, but we have to make these new signals subtle 183 00:07:51,597 --> 00:07:54,224 so they don't kind of look like signals. 184 00:07:54,308 --> 00:07:56,143 You do realize that that was the point 185 00:07:56,226 --> 00:07:59,188 - of the old signals, right, Mike? - I realize that. 186 00:07:59,271 --> 00:08:02,524 You slap your hands together. Kind of give it a little thumbs up. 187 00:08:02,608 --> 00:08:04,276 No, that's like I squished a bug 188 00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:06,129 and then I said, "it's so cool I squished a bug." 189 00:08:06,153 --> 00:08:08,548 What if you scratched your head with your phone in your hand? 190 00:08:08,572 --> 00:08:09,990 Selina: What about this? 191 00:08:11,408 --> 00:08:12,409 Gary: No... 192 00:08:12,493 --> 00:08:14,620 - Mike: You don't look pretty. - Oh, forget it. 193 00:08:14,703 --> 00:08:16,163 I got it. You can rub your eyebrow. 194 00:08:16,246 --> 00:08:17,665 No one will see that. It's subtle. 195 00:08:17,748 --> 00:08:18,832 Mike: It looks natural. 196 00:08:18,916 --> 00:08:20,959 What if people think I have crabs in my eyebrows? 197 00:08:21,043 --> 00:08:23,379 How can you have crabs in your eyebrow? 198 00:08:23,462 --> 00:08:25,464 Okay, Gary, when a man and a woman 199 00:08:25,547 --> 00:08:28,008 love each other very much and it's the man's birthday... 200 00:08:28,092 --> 00:08:30,511 - Crap in a hat. - What? 201 00:08:30,594 --> 00:08:32,888 - It's your daughter. - What? What is it? 202 00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:36,767 She's fine, but she's done something that'll make you want to kill her. 203 00:08:38,769 --> 00:08:40,229 Christ, it's everywhere. 204 00:08:40,312 --> 00:08:42,356 Well, if it's just a film studies essay... 205 00:08:42,439 --> 00:08:44,316 No, Catherine's essay is about 206 00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:46,694 emad burnat's movie 5 broken cameras. 207 00:08:46,777 --> 00:08:48,672 If Owen Wilson's not in it, I probably don't know it. 208 00:08:48,696 --> 00:08:52,116 It's about nonviolent palestinian resistance to Israeli settlement on the west bank. 209 00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:53,951 That doesn't sound like one of Owen's. 210 00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:57,663 She talks about the masterly portrayal of brutal, illegal Israeli aggression. 211 00:08:57,746 --> 00:08:58,747 Ouch. 212 00:08:58,831 --> 00:09:00,582 We have to issue a statement. 213 00:09:00,666 --> 00:09:03,460 All right, well, standard issue pro-Israeli, 214 00:09:03,544 --> 00:09:06,046 pro-palestinian, but subtly more pro-Israeli statement. 215 00:09:06,130 --> 00:09:07,840 I mean, hit f9 and print that fucker out. 216 00:09:07,923 --> 00:09:09,341 No, this needs to be top-notch. 217 00:09:09,425 --> 00:09:12,705 This needs to be the gettysburg address of tightrope-walking, say-nothing bullshit. 218 00:09:12,761 --> 00:09:14,638 My time has come. 219 00:09:15,514 --> 00:09:18,892 All right, well, next election I guess we lose Florida, then. 220 00:09:18,976 --> 00:09:20,602 We got wheels down in 15. 221 00:09:20,686 --> 00:09:21,830 All right, I've got to change. 222 00:09:21,854 --> 00:09:22,896 All right, I'll text Amy. 223 00:09:22,980 --> 00:09:25,065 Gary, what am I supposed to wear today? 224 00:09:25,149 --> 00:09:26,900 At least that's good. 225 00:09:26,984 --> 00:09:29,278 Well, howdy, y'all. 226 00:09:29,361 --> 00:09:30,946 Oh, my goodness. Look at this. 227 00:09:31,029 --> 00:09:32,429 Walking the walk, talking the pork. 228 00:09:32,781 --> 00:09:35,367 Look at you, a grown woman with cotton candy. 229 00:09:35,451 --> 00:09:37,786 Pink like your cheeks. I'm gonna give you both a hug. 230 00:09:37,870 --> 00:09:40,289 Oh, gosh, that looks like finger-licking fun. 231 00:09:40,372 --> 00:09:42,541 That's a term I just coined today. Do you like it? 232 00:09:42,624 --> 00:09:44,793 Everybody's having such a good time. But this young man 233 00:09:44,877 --> 00:09:47,004 doesn't have anything to eat. Now why would that be? 234 00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:49,590 I hope you're not just starving to death, sweetheart. 235 00:09:49,673 --> 00:09:51,818 What's going on? We've got to get some meat on your bones. 236 00:09:51,842 --> 00:09:53,427 And there you go. 237 00:09:53,510 --> 00:09:55,471 Ask and you shall receive. 238 00:09:55,554 --> 00:09:58,182 Why am I the only one wearing a cowboy hat? 239 00:09:58,265 --> 00:09:59,767 I'm gonna take this hat off. 240 00:09:59,850 --> 00:10:01,727 No. Hat hair, hat hair. Please don't. 241 00:10:01,810 --> 00:10:04,313 Yes, she's pressing the flesh very well, sir. 242 00:10:04,396 --> 00:10:07,107 And these people have a lot of flesh. 243 00:10:07,191 --> 00:10:08,567 Two things in politics to avoid, 244 00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:11,028 middle east and family strife. And we're combining both? 245 00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:13,155 Now you get the daughter to apologize. 246 00:10:13,238 --> 00:10:14,948 You have my authority. 247 00:10:15,032 --> 00:10:17,534 Ergo, you have potus's authority. 248 00:10:17,618 --> 00:10:18,952 - Understood? - Yes, sir. 249 00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:21,538 If this were the '60s, 250 00:10:21,622 --> 00:10:23,862 we could just have the national guard shoot the daughter. 251 00:10:24,041 --> 00:10:25,921 West wing, west wing. Pardon me. Coming through. 252 00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:27,145 - Oh, hi there. - Pardon me, west wing. 253 00:10:27,169 --> 00:10:28,295 Pardon me. Excuse me. 254 00:10:28,378 --> 00:10:30,964 Oh, hello, little girl. Office of the president. 255 00:10:31,048 --> 00:10:33,133 Please step off to the side. Thank you. 256 00:10:33,217 --> 00:10:36,386 Ma'am, I have been charged with informing you 257 00:10:36,470 --> 00:10:38,514 that you need to get your daughter Catherine 258 00:10:38,597 --> 00:10:42,267 to apologize unequivocally and immediately. 259 00:10:42,351 --> 00:10:45,521 Yeah? Well, go shit yourself, long tall Sally, 260 00:10:45,604 --> 00:10:47,564 because I will deal with my daughter 261 00:10:47,648 --> 00:10:50,484 in my own way on my own terms. 262 00:10:50,567 --> 00:10:52,152 Yes, ma'am. 263 00:10:52,236 --> 00:10:54,404 - Oh, here's your ma. - Selina: Hey, you got her? 264 00:10:54,488 --> 00:10:56,698 Hi, Catherine. How are you? 265 00:10:56,782 --> 00:10:59,868 - Hi, mom. - Stop it. Stop it. You're freaking me out. 266 00:10:59,952 --> 00:11:01,745 - Stop it. - Freaking you out? 267 00:11:01,829 --> 00:11:03,539 No, honey. Not you, Catherine. 268 00:11:03,622 --> 00:11:06,333 It was Mike. He had you on top of his body. 269 00:11:06,416 --> 00:11:08,502 No, that came out wrong. 270 00:11:08,585 --> 00:11:10,420 - Listen, how are you doing? - I'm okay. 271 00:11:10,504 --> 00:11:12,339 I'm getting a lot of attention. 272 00:11:12,422 --> 00:11:14,216 - Yeah. - Why are you wearing a cowboy hat? 273 00:11:14,299 --> 00:11:16,134 I'm at a pork event. 274 00:11:16,260 --> 00:11:19,221 Listen, you can't talk to anybody about this essay. 275 00:11:19,304 --> 00:11:21,139 No media, no journalists or anything. 276 00:11:21,223 --> 00:11:23,023 You have somebody there, sweetie? Who is that? 277 00:11:24,935 --> 00:11:27,354 Yeah, actually, it's my boyfriend. 278 00:11:27,437 --> 00:11:29,940 You're kidding. That's exciting. 279 00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:32,317 His name is rahim. He's dilka's brother. 280 00:11:32,401 --> 00:11:34,236 Dilka's brother? 281 00:11:34,319 --> 00:11:36,363 What? Do you have a problem with him being Iranian? 282 00:11:36,446 --> 00:11:40,659 Okay, Catherine, you know that I am not a racist, okay? 283 00:11:40,742 --> 00:11:43,287 My boyfriend in college was a quarter cherokee. 284 00:11:43,370 --> 00:11:46,498 Mom, I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna say sorry. 285 00:11:46,582 --> 00:11:48,417 - Okay? - No... 286 00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:49,960 Catherine, don't... all right. 287 00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:52,546 - Well, that worked perfectly. - Good talk with Catherine? 288 00:11:52,629 --> 00:11:54,923 Uh... well, we've had happier conversations. 289 00:11:55,007 --> 00:11:56,842 Like when I told her her grandpa had died. 290 00:11:56,925 --> 00:11:58,343 Oh, she didn't like him, huh? 291 00:11:58,427 --> 00:12:00,178 No, that's not what I meant. 292 00:12:00,262 --> 00:12:02,556 Oh, sorry. It's just my grampy, he was a real prick. 293 00:12:02,639 --> 00:12:04,182 - Okay, Mike. - I mean he was... 294 00:12:04,266 --> 00:12:05,642 You need to get a chopper. 295 00:12:05,726 --> 00:12:07,352 I want you to go to Catherine's college. 296 00:12:07,436 --> 00:12:10,105 No. You pick her up, bring her to the air base. All right? 297 00:12:10,188 --> 00:12:12,232 Get some towels. I may need to daughter board her. 298 00:12:12,316 --> 00:12:13,609 Okay? 299 00:12:14,568 --> 00:12:17,154 - You hate choppers, Mike. - I know. 300 00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:19,573 I'm always afraid I'm gonna get my head cutoff. 301 00:12:19,656 --> 00:12:21,158 Yeah, it happens. 302 00:12:27,164 --> 00:12:30,125 While Israel's military non-occupation... 303 00:12:30,208 --> 00:12:31,752 No, no, presence. 304 00:12:31,835 --> 00:12:34,087 While Israel's military presence, words, words, words. 305 00:12:34,171 --> 00:12:36,798 Roger: This whole being pleasant is fucking exhausting. 306 00:12:36,882 --> 00:12:38,091 Yes, sir. It's very tiring. 307 00:12:38,175 --> 00:12:40,615 I'm running out of nice juice to spray at these shit munchers. 308 00:12:40,677 --> 00:12:42,012 Hi there. Good to see you. 309 00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:45,140 We also desire a settled homeland for the palestinian people. 310 00:12:45,223 --> 00:12:47,100 Roger: Oh, look who we have here. 311 00:12:47,184 --> 00:12:49,895 Not only ginger Rogers, but also ginger Rogers. 312 00:12:50,020 --> 00:12:51,647 Nice joke construction, sir. 313 00:12:51,730 --> 00:12:54,274 Stop trying to Polish my dick, you fucking four-eyed failure. 314 00:12:54,358 --> 00:12:56,193 - Okay. - And... 315 00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:58,946 Greetings, friends. We were just in the building, so we stopped by. 316 00:12:59,029 --> 00:13:01,990 In the building? Okay. What, are you guys washing the windows today? 317 00:13:02,074 --> 00:13:04,010 - Working on the bathrooms? - You're quite the wit, Dan. 318 00:13:04,034 --> 00:13:05,595 Yeah, I am quite the wit. And you're quite... 319 00:13:05,619 --> 00:13:06,846 Amy: We were just heading to the hospital. 320 00:13:06,870 --> 00:13:10,207 My father's breathing has become very bad. 321 00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:12,584 They think he might not last through the night. 322 00:13:12,668 --> 00:13:16,296 And Dan needs to come with me so we can continue the statement. 323 00:13:16,380 --> 00:13:18,566 - Apologies. - Oh, no, not at all. I'm sorry about your dad. 324 00:13:18,590 --> 00:13:20,652 - Okay, we should be going. - Ah, we'll talk another time, then. 325 00:13:20,676 --> 00:13:22,094 I got all the time in the world. 326 00:13:22,177 --> 00:13:24,429 We do actually have to be out of DC by tomorrow. 327 00:13:24,513 --> 00:13:27,015 - It's a metaphor. - I don't think it strictly is, sir. 328 00:13:27,099 --> 00:13:28,183 It's a figure of speech... 329 00:13:28,266 --> 00:13:30,578 You know, you're about as annoying as a condom filled with fire ants. 330 00:13:30,602 --> 00:13:31,962 How's that for a fucking metaphor? 331 00:13:32,020 --> 00:13:34,220 - That's a simile, sir. - Shut your mouth, you fat girl. 332 00:13:37,067 --> 00:13:39,820 So what hospital is your dad in? 333 00:13:39,903 --> 00:13:41,655 George Washington. 334 00:13:41,738 --> 00:13:43,365 Oh. That's a good one. 335 00:13:46,243 --> 00:13:48,453 They got a big Starbucks there. 336 00:13:48,537 --> 00:13:50,431 It's nice. You know, people go in there that aren't... 337 00:13:50,455 --> 00:13:52,541 - You don't have to speak. - Thank you. 338 00:13:52,624 --> 00:13:55,002 There you go, ma'am. You taste that. 339 00:13:55,085 --> 00:13:56,795 - That's heaven right there. - This is big. 340 00:13:56,878 --> 00:13:58,356 But I bet I can finish it. I'm going to try. 341 00:13:58,380 --> 00:14:00,173 Kent: I want to smash the i-4 corridor, 342 00:14:00,257 --> 00:14:03,760 and I mean smash it, all the while focusing on the inside game. 343 00:14:03,844 --> 00:14:07,014 Then what... holy cow. 344 00:14:07,848 --> 00:14:08,974 A pig. 345 00:14:09,766 --> 00:14:14,187 Mike: It's not being in the helicopter. That's fine. I can ride in a helicopter. 346 00:14:14,271 --> 00:14:17,107 It's just getting in. I'm afraid it's gonna wobble. 347 00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:19,070 Like, you know, it'd chop the top of my head off 348 00:14:19,151 --> 00:14:20,628 like a soft-boiled egg and then I'm, like, 349 00:14:20,652 --> 00:14:22,446 running around trying to put my head back on. 350 00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:25,824 This is crazy, Mike. All I did was write a review of a movie. 351 00:14:25,907 --> 00:14:30,037 I know, Catherine, but the whole middle east thing is very confusing. 352 00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:31,538 Right, rahim? 353 00:14:31,621 --> 00:14:33,915 No, sometimes it can seem pretty clear-cut to me. 354 00:14:33,999 --> 00:14:35,143 Yeah, well... 355 00:14:35,167 --> 00:14:36,168 Excuse me. 356 00:14:37,502 --> 00:14:39,337 Mike, where are you? 357 00:14:39,421 --> 00:14:41,631 I'm at the hog roast. 358 00:14:41,715 --> 00:14:43,925 And are you paralyzed from the neck down? 359 00:14:44,009 --> 00:14:46,928 - Why aren't you stopping this? - Stopping... 360 00:14:47,012 --> 00:14:49,598 Reporter: Has the position of this administration changed 361 00:14:49,681 --> 00:14:51,808 toward Israel and Palestine? 362 00:14:52,309 --> 00:14:55,520 We support the state of Israel, of course... 363 00:14:55,604 --> 00:14:58,315 Mike, the vp is voicing solidarity 364 00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:01,985 with the Jewish people in front of rotating pork. 365 00:15:02,069 --> 00:15:05,197 - For the Jewish people. - Change the visual. 366 00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:07,491 - Deport the visual. - Yes, sir. 367 00:15:08,742 --> 00:15:11,119 J-1-1. What's your Jonah emergency? 368 00:15:11,203 --> 00:15:13,413 Jonah, move the veep away from the pig. 369 00:15:13,955 --> 00:15:15,707 Think about the sensitivities here. 370 00:15:15,791 --> 00:15:19,377 What, pork? Mike, most Jews in this country are fine with pork. 371 00:15:19,461 --> 00:15:20,921 Pork schmork, they often say. 372 00:15:21,004 --> 00:15:24,007 Most Jews in this country are fine with pork, Mr. Davison. 373 00:15:24,091 --> 00:15:25,675 Pork schmork, really. 374 00:15:25,759 --> 00:15:27,469 You ever hear of the old testament, Mike? 375 00:15:27,552 --> 00:15:28,970 Israel, Europe. 376 00:15:29,054 --> 00:15:30,680 Jonah, Israel, Europe. 377 00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:32,933 Okay. Fuck. Fine, Mike. 378 00:15:33,016 --> 00:15:34,976 But you fucking owe me for this. Excuse me. 379 00:15:36,937 --> 00:15:39,582 These pork folks won't ask selina about middle east politics, right? 380 00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:41,525 Oh, no. Those fuckers probably think 381 00:15:41,608 --> 00:15:43,485 the middle east means Kansas. 382 00:15:43,568 --> 00:15:46,655 Hey, you know what? I'm not really great with illness 383 00:15:46,738 --> 00:15:49,741 or death or basic empathy, 384 00:15:49,825 --> 00:15:53,179 but I just want to say I'm sorry about your dad and I think you're being really brave. 385 00:15:53,203 --> 00:15:54,621 What? Why are we stopping here? 386 00:15:54,704 --> 00:15:56,289 That's my dad. 387 00:15:56,373 --> 00:15:58,250 Jesus, he doesn't look like he's dying. 388 00:15:58,333 --> 00:16:00,544 My family was guilt-tripping the shit out of me 389 00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:02,379 and so I exaggerated to come visit. 390 00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:05,090 Besides, a dying dad can be a get-out-of—jail-free card. 391 00:16:05,173 --> 00:16:07,134 - Like with furlong. - Wow. 392 00:16:07,217 --> 00:16:09,010 That is cold. 393 00:16:09,094 --> 00:16:10,971 Also kind of hot. 394 00:16:11,388 --> 00:16:14,766 And as a homeland for the Jewish people 395 00:16:14,850 --> 00:16:16,810 while at the same time we support 396 00:16:16,893 --> 00:16:19,062 a settled homeland for the Palestinians. 397 00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:20,856 I can still see the pig's ass. 398 00:16:20,939 --> 00:16:22,649 You're not blocking it. Bend down. 399 00:16:22,732 --> 00:16:24,234 Tie your shoe, whatever. 400 00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:27,154 That's a circle that's tricky to square. 401 00:16:27,237 --> 00:16:29,072 And the president and I... 402 00:16:29,156 --> 00:16:32,325 We really need a bulkier man in this situation. 403 00:16:32,409 --> 00:16:35,162 - Am I there? - Mike: Get closer towards it. 404 00:16:35,245 --> 00:16:37,372 Okay, Mike, it's right next to the coals. 405 00:16:37,455 --> 00:16:38,582 The coals are hot. 406 00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:42,085 Hey, quit touching the pig. It's not a fucking petting zoo. 407 00:16:42,169 --> 00:16:44,337 Ma'am, this is a matter of security, okay? 408 00:16:44,421 --> 00:16:46,298 You think this pig is gonna attack her? 409 00:16:46,381 --> 00:16:50,260 Son, that fucker is skinned and roasted. He's at a huge disadvantage. 410 00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:52,804 Okay, look, office of the president. So I'm staying. 411 00:16:52,888 --> 00:16:55,449 I don't care if there is a funeral procession due to use that street. 412 00:16:55,473 --> 00:16:57,976 It is to be closed by 4:00 today. 413 00:16:58,059 --> 00:17:00,645 It'll cheer the family up, sir. Everyone loves a motorcade. 414 00:17:00,729 --> 00:17:03,940 Hello. What do you want? You can't have it. Good-bye. 415 00:17:04,024 --> 00:17:05,609 The congressman would like to have 416 00:17:05,692 --> 00:17:08,612 a very polite chat in the next few days with the vice president. 417 00:17:08,695 --> 00:17:09,779 No, he cannot. 418 00:17:09,863 --> 00:17:11,448 I need you to let the veep know 419 00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:14,201 that I just wanted to apologize for any erratic behavior 420 00:17:14,284 --> 00:17:17,078 she might have witnessed from me in the past. 421 00:17:17,162 --> 00:17:19,307 Does erratic behavior include you storming into this office 422 00:17:19,331 --> 00:17:21,208 and violently yelling at everyone? 423 00:17:21,291 --> 00:17:23,460 Yes. I wasn't myself. 424 00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:25,545 I was having a bit of a rough go. 425 00:17:25,629 --> 00:17:28,715 My wife, and I'm not looking for sympathy for this, 426 00:17:28,798 --> 00:17:31,676 but she was very ill with kidney disease. 427 00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:34,054 Your wife is perfectly fine. She ran the Seattle marathon. 428 00:17:34,137 --> 00:17:35,615 All right, don't fuck with me, honey. 429 00:17:35,639 --> 00:17:37,891 Just put my fucking name in your stupid fucking schedule 430 00:17:37,974 --> 00:17:40,227 and get me a face-to-face with the veep now! 431 00:17:40,310 --> 00:17:42,729 Excuse me. You need to leave this office now, sir. 432 00:17:42,812 --> 00:17:44,231 - We do need to leave. - Oh, really? 433 00:17:44,314 --> 00:17:46,816 Okay, I've got boxes and boxes on selina meyer. 434 00:17:46,900 --> 00:17:48,568 You understand me? 435 00:17:48,652 --> 00:17:50,820 I've got pandora's fucking boxes on her. 436 00:17:50,904 --> 00:17:54,074 But we're fighting the lies from many people in your party 437 00:17:54,157 --> 00:17:56,243 about the environmental impact of what we do. 438 00:17:56,326 --> 00:17:59,412 Farmer: You can't raise pigs without excrement, ma'am. 439 00:17:59,496 --> 00:18:01,164 - Uh-huh. - It just can't be done. 440 00:18:01,248 --> 00:18:03,583 - I see. Yes. - They defecate. 441 00:18:03,667 --> 00:18:05,752 And they defecate with speed. 442 00:18:05,835 --> 00:18:07,754 - Oh, lord. Oh, goodness. - And volume. 443 00:18:07,837 --> 00:18:09,673 Well, I hear that. They're pigs. 444 00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:12,759 Why wouldn't they? And I'm interested to hear a few other folks. 445 00:18:12,842 --> 00:18:14,302 I thank you for your time. 446 00:18:14,386 --> 00:18:16,054 - Hello, miss america? - Yeah. 447 00:18:16,137 --> 00:18:19,391 I've been scratching my eyebrow for three and a half fucking hours. 448 00:18:19,474 --> 00:18:20,474 Where have you been? 449 00:18:20,517 --> 00:18:21,911 I thought we weren't doing the eyebrow thing. 450 00:18:21,935 --> 00:18:23,079 - You said about the crabs. - Okay, 451 00:18:23,103 --> 00:18:24,896 from now on, we're doing the eyebrow thing. 452 00:18:24,980 --> 00:18:27,065 Okay? And we've got to get out of here. 453 00:18:27,148 --> 00:18:28,960 Did I tell you my girlfriend came up with the eyebrow thing? 454 00:18:28,984 --> 00:18:30,704 Well, good for her. We've got to go, right? 455 00:18:36,992 --> 00:18:39,369 Since the midterms, it's been really apocalyptic. 456 00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:41,037 - We know you're busy, hon. - It's fine. 457 00:18:41,121 --> 00:18:43,748 But right now I am focused on you, daddy. 458 00:18:50,547 --> 00:18:51,840 Is that Dan egan? 459 00:18:53,967 --> 00:18:56,845 So you discussed our signals with your girlfriend? 460 00:18:56,928 --> 00:18:58,555 Yeah, she's really creative. 461 00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:00,241 I thought she could come up with some good ones. 462 00:19:00,265 --> 00:19:03,226 And is she the only civilian that you shared them with? 463 00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:04,936 - Oh, yes, ma'am. - Uh-huh. 464 00:19:05,020 --> 00:19:07,314 Well, no. No. Dana would not leak. 465 00:19:07,397 --> 00:19:10,400 - Classic first-stage denial. - Quiet. 466 00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:13,778 I mean, it must be. Gary, think about it. 467 00:19:13,862 --> 00:19:15,739 It must be Dana. 468 00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:18,533 Oh, my god. 469 00:19:18,616 --> 00:19:20,660 She's getting her leak on. 470 00:19:20,744 --> 00:19:23,705 What in the living fuck is that god-awful smell, Jonah? 471 00:19:23,788 --> 00:19:26,416 Myjacket is partially soaked in pork fat, ma'am. 472 00:19:29,419 --> 00:19:32,464 So you two aren't back together, then? 473 00:19:32,547 --> 00:19:35,091 No, no. Just colleagues. 474 00:19:35,175 --> 00:19:37,635 - You broke her heart. You know that? - Mmm, no. 475 00:19:37,719 --> 00:19:40,180 - Yeah. Yes. - No. He... 476 00:19:40,263 --> 00:19:43,266 He didn't even graze it. We went on three dates. 477 00:19:43,350 --> 00:19:45,935 Oh! Dang, Amy. You put out quick. 478 00:19:46,019 --> 00:19:47,496 Amy and I just weren't compatible. 479 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:50,774 Right. It turns out I can't mate with anyone outside of my species. 480 00:19:50,857 --> 00:19:52,609 We all know what you need, Amy. 481 00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:54,152 I mean besides a big, fat slap. 482 00:19:54,235 --> 00:19:57,655 I do not want children, okay? Why can nobody accept this? 483 00:19:57,906 --> 00:19:59,675 Sweetie, you do not have to decide right now. 484 00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:01,159 You still have plenty of time. 485 00:20:01,242 --> 00:20:04,037 - I remained fertile till I was 56. - Terrific. 486 00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:07,082 - Just because I have a vagina... - Oh, for god's sake, Amy. 487 00:20:07,165 --> 00:20:08,750 We just want you to be happy, sweetie. 488 00:20:08,833 --> 00:20:11,878 I am happy without kids. 489 00:20:11,961 --> 00:20:13,963 - I am... right? - Oh, she's deliriously happy. 490 00:20:14,047 --> 00:20:16,549 At work we actually call her amiable Amy. 491 00:20:16,633 --> 00:20:19,052 I think I'm gonna go get a coffee. Anyone else? 492 00:20:19,135 --> 00:20:23,014 - No, thank you. - I will help you carry that second coffee. 493 00:20:24,307 --> 00:20:27,602 I wrote an essay about a very important film. 494 00:20:27,685 --> 00:20:30,522 Okay? You should be proud of me. It's not Debbie does Damascus. 495 00:20:30,605 --> 00:20:34,609 No, I am proud of you. But, sweetheart, if we lose the pro-Israel vote, 496 00:20:34,692 --> 00:20:38,780 then we lose Florida in two years and that's 29 electoral votes. 497 00:20:38,863 --> 00:20:40,115 And then mommy's out of a job. 498 00:20:40,198 --> 00:20:42,575 Okay, I'm still not going to apologize. 499 00:20:42,659 --> 00:20:45,120 Have you even seen the movie that I'm talking about? 500 00:20:45,203 --> 00:20:46,680 When would I have time to see a film? 501 00:20:46,704 --> 00:20:48,540 I haven't even been able to see 502 00:20:48,623 --> 00:20:51,209 that wonderful movie with the blue people in it. 503 00:20:51,292 --> 00:20:53,378 - A vatar. - A vatar. Exactly. 504 00:20:53,461 --> 00:20:55,296 So you graduate in what, a year? 505 00:20:55,380 --> 00:20:57,260 Yeah, hopefully, if I can get the money together 506 00:20:57,340 --> 00:20:58,967 for the last two semesters. 507 00:20:59,050 --> 00:21:00,510 Money's tight, huh? 508 00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:02,387 You know, my attitude to money is... 509 00:21:02,470 --> 00:21:05,390 I'll be 22 when I graduate, I'll owe 60 grand. 510 00:21:05,473 --> 00:21:09,644 And I did the math. I'll chase my student debt for the next 27 years of my life. 511 00:21:09,727 --> 00:21:11,938 Hey, fresh coffee back here if you guys want some. 512 00:21:12,021 --> 00:21:13,690 Oh, great. Yeah. 513 00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:15,024 Coffee. 514 00:21:17,569 --> 00:21:19,904 Oh, god. Oh, my god. 515 00:21:19,988 --> 00:21:21,865 I owe 100 grand. 516 00:21:23,825 --> 00:21:26,411 Sweet Jesus Christ. 517 00:21:27,203 --> 00:21:29,247 I want to see the film and I will see the film. 518 00:21:29,330 --> 00:21:31,142 Gary, we need to get it. It's five easy pieces. 519 00:21:31,166 --> 00:21:33,042 It's 5 broken cameras. 520 00:21:33,126 --> 00:21:34,937 - Okay, it's broken cameras. - Mom, don't even bother. 521 00:21:34,961 --> 00:21:37,297 This is gonna be like super size me all over again. 522 00:21:37,380 --> 00:21:39,507 Why don't you guys just go see mamma Mia! Again 523 00:21:39,591 --> 00:21:41,217 for the 10th fucking time? 524 00:21:41,301 --> 00:21:44,596 Do not swear at me, Catherine. Don't. 525 00:21:44,679 --> 00:21:47,515 Okay, look, I'm sorry. 526 00:21:47,599 --> 00:21:50,226 I understand that you are feeling attacked, babe. 527 00:21:50,310 --> 00:21:52,979 And that's why I'm here with you right now. 528 00:21:53,062 --> 00:21:55,648 I'm supposed to be at a national security meeting, 529 00:21:55,732 --> 00:21:59,068 - but you are my priority, okay? - Okay. 530 00:21:59,152 --> 00:22:01,654 - You hear what I'm saying? - Yeah, I'll apologize. 531 00:22:01,738 --> 00:22:02,739 Good girl. 532 00:22:02,822 --> 00:22:05,074 If I can spend Thanksgiving with rahim and his family. 533 00:22:05,158 --> 00:22:08,161 No, darling. We've got grandma coming. 534 00:22:08,244 --> 00:22:09,954 We got to smile at her and cut her jell-o. 535 00:22:14,375 --> 00:22:15,668 Yeah, sue? 536 00:22:15,752 --> 00:22:17,921 Mike, if she's in the can, haul her out. 537 00:22:18,004 --> 00:22:19,672 I don't care if she's trailing paper. 538 00:22:19,756 --> 00:22:21,925 She can make this if she leaves right this second. 539 00:22:22,008 --> 00:22:23,510 She's currently with her daughter. 540 00:22:23,593 --> 00:22:26,095 Look, Mike, man up and prioritize, okay? 541 00:22:26,179 --> 00:22:28,515 I do it every day. Prioritize, that is. 542 00:22:28,598 --> 00:22:29,891 Okay. 543 00:22:31,935 --> 00:22:33,478 - What about Wednesday? - Ahem! 544 00:22:33,561 --> 00:22:36,231 Ma'am, you need to make like a snake and get on that airplane. 545 00:22:36,314 --> 00:22:37,899 Okay, but I'm in the middle 546 00:22:37,982 --> 00:22:40,360 of an important conversation with my daughter. 547 00:22:40,443 --> 00:22:42,737 - So everything can be put on hold, okay? - Okay. 548 00:22:42,820 --> 00:22:45,365 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 549 00:22:45,448 --> 00:22:48,284 So I have to spend Thanksgiving with you and memaw. 550 00:22:48,368 --> 00:22:49,702 - Yes. - Wednesday. 551 00:22:49,786 --> 00:22:51,037 Wednesday you're with your dad. 552 00:22:51,120 --> 00:22:52,560 Thursday you're with me and grandma. 553 00:22:52,622 --> 00:22:55,416 Friday you can be with the new boyfriend, okay? 554 00:22:55,500 --> 00:22:56,584 And Saturday. 555 00:22:57,460 --> 00:22:59,671 If you come home on Saturday night. 556 00:23:01,130 --> 00:23:03,800 Yeah, I'll check that over with rahim. 557 00:23:07,595 --> 00:23:09,305 Okay, let's get going. 558 00:23:09,389 --> 00:23:11,641 - You are a great negotiator. - I know I am. 559 00:23:12,767 --> 00:23:14,602 Hey. So sue called. 560 00:23:14,686 --> 00:23:16,187 Apparently she bitch-slapped furlong. 561 00:23:16,271 --> 00:23:17,564 He usually has to pay for that. 562 00:23:17,647 --> 00:23:19,247 And we need that Catherine apology asap. 563 00:23:19,274 --> 00:23:20,817 Okay? I can do it, you can stay here. 564 00:23:20,900 --> 00:23:22,193 We'll liaise via e-mail. 565 00:23:22,277 --> 00:23:24,404 Yeah. I really... 566 00:23:24,487 --> 00:23:27,615 Actually, you know what? I would prefer it 567 00:23:27,699 --> 00:23:29,325 if you were physically there. 568 00:23:29,409 --> 00:23:31,327 It's, you know, an important statement. 569 00:23:31,411 --> 00:23:33,371 You're right. It needs to happen. Let's go. 570 00:23:35,290 --> 00:23:37,166 You're welcome. 571 00:23:38,585 --> 00:23:41,170 Amiable Amy? That is the best you could come up with? 572 00:23:41,254 --> 00:23:44,048 Yeah, you know, I knew I should have gone with Amy whitehouse. 573 00:23:44,132 --> 00:23:45,550 It's very nice meeting you... 574 00:23:45,633 --> 00:23:47,319 - It's so nice to meet you, too. - Madam vice president. 575 00:23:47,343 --> 00:23:50,305 Sure. What are you studying at school? 576 00:23:50,388 --> 00:23:51,931 Computer science. Math minor. 577 00:23:52,015 --> 00:23:53,415 Where are you headed with all that? 578 00:23:53,474 --> 00:23:55,411 Hopefully, actually, get into a government branch. 579 00:23:55,435 --> 00:23:58,521 - Defense or FBI, maybe. - Uh-huh. 580 00:23:58,605 --> 00:24:00,690 - Well, I speak Farsi... - You speak Farsi? 581 00:24:00,773 --> 00:24:02,609 - Yeah. - But you were born here? 582 00:24:02,692 --> 00:24:04,819 - Yes, I was born here. - Uh-huh. Great. 583 00:24:04,902 --> 00:24:06,904 And your parents were born here? 584 00:24:06,988 --> 00:24:09,008 - They were actually born in Iran in Tehran. - Mmm-hmm. 585 00:24:09,032 --> 00:24:10,450 Yeah, that's where we're from. 586 00:24:10,533 --> 00:24:12,493 - Oh, I see. Tehran. - Yeah. Yep. 587 00:24:12,577 --> 00:24:15,413 Ma'am, general Mercer from the Pentagon is on the phone. 588 00:24:15,496 --> 00:24:17,582 I don't need to talk to general Mercer right now. 589 00:24:17,665 --> 00:24:20,627 - He's pretty insistent. - I don't need a general Mercer call right now. 590 00:24:20,710 --> 00:24:22,712 He's really on the phone. 591 00:24:22,795 --> 00:24:24,631 General Mercer's on the phone. 592 00:24:24,714 --> 00:24:27,592 Can you hang tight two seconds, rahim? 593 00:24:27,675 --> 00:24:28,676 General Mercer. 594 00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:30,571 Mercer: I'm sorry to be calling, madam vice president, 595 00:24:30,595 --> 00:24:34,641 but we are going to be discussing the hostage situation in around 25 minutes. 596 00:24:34,724 --> 00:24:37,685 Do you think you can get here or should we go ahead without you? 597 00:24:37,769 --> 00:24:39,646 No, no, no. Don't go ahead without me. 598 00:24:39,729 --> 00:24:42,690 - We can set up a video link from the plane. - I'm on it. I got it. 599 00:24:42,774 --> 00:24:44,984 So that would work out perfectly. 600 00:24:45,068 --> 00:24:47,487 And I want rahim to stay. I've got to... 601 00:24:47,570 --> 00:24:50,323 - Rahim, stay. You, too, Catherine. - Yeah, okay. 602 00:24:50,406 --> 00:24:52,566 - Thank you, madam vice president. - Selina: Thank you. 603 00:24:53,242 --> 00:24:55,328 We should actually probably go. 604 00:24:55,411 --> 00:24:57,747 I have to get back to study for a midterm. 605 00:24:57,830 --> 00:24:59,832 Yeah, yeah. What are your parents' names? 606 00:25:00,708 --> 00:25:04,045 - That rahim turns out to be a nice boy. - Yes, ma'am. 607 00:25:04,128 --> 00:25:07,006 Let's run a security check on him and his entire family. 608 00:25:07,090 --> 00:25:08,508 Yes, ma'am. 609 00:25:08,591 --> 00:25:10,802 - And investigate their finances. - Yes, ma'am. 610 00:25:10,885 --> 00:25:13,221 I was actually reconsidering my financial situation. 611 00:25:13,304 --> 00:25:15,515 Oh, are you about to ask me for money, Mike? 612 00:25:15,598 --> 00:25:17,767 - I don't want to. - No, no, no. 613 00:25:17,850 --> 00:25:19,852 I thought you would and I want to give you money. 614 00:25:19,936 --> 00:25:22,939 And I have the money, so why not? 615 00:25:23,022 --> 00:25:24,357 Exactly. And it's not a big... 616 00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:27,068 Giving cash to my director of communications, 617 00:25:27,151 --> 00:25:29,028 do you think that that would play well, Mike? 618 00:25:29,112 --> 00:25:31,531 - Yeah. - No. No, it wouldn't. 619 00:25:31,614 --> 00:25:33,324 No, ma'am. 620 00:25:45,294 --> 00:25:48,047 I can't videoconference like this. 621 00:25:48,131 --> 00:25:50,216 I can't get the dent out at all. 622 00:25:50,299 --> 00:25:53,010 - I look like bozo. - Do you want me to fix it? 623 00:25:53,094 --> 00:25:55,138 - Do you have a blow-dryer? - I don't. 624 00:25:55,221 --> 00:25:58,266 No. Whose idea was this hat? 625 00:25:58,349 --> 00:25:59,392 Was that Dana's idea, too? 626 00:25:59,726 --> 00:26:00,935 Uh-uh. 627 00:26:01,018 --> 00:26:02,895 - Did you talk to her? - We texted. 628 00:26:02,979 --> 00:26:05,189 - And? - She... 629 00:26:05,273 --> 00:26:07,673 She may have mentioned the signals to one of her girlfriends. 630 00:26:09,277 --> 00:26:11,237 The link to your video conference is up, ma'am. 631 00:26:14,031 --> 00:26:15,032 Gary... 632 00:26:16,743 --> 00:26:19,495 I do not like to say this, 633 00:26:19,579 --> 00:26:23,332 but you have truly disappointed me today. 634 00:26:24,917 --> 00:26:28,045 Do you have any idea how foolish you have made me look? 635 00:26:28,129 --> 00:26:29,672 I do. 636 00:26:36,804 --> 00:26:38,264 I am having the best day. 637 00:26:38,347 --> 00:26:41,350 This is such a great time. 638 00:26:41,434 --> 00:26:44,145 We're on air force two. Us, hey is getting started. 639 00:26:44,228 --> 00:26:46,689 Guys, we saved the Florida vote. 640 00:26:46,773 --> 00:26:48,524 You guys want to play iPad scrabble? 641 00:26:48,608 --> 00:26:51,569 Jonah, please. Just shut up. 642 00:26:52,195 --> 00:26:54,405 Mike, you want to 643 00:26:54,489 --> 00:26:56,491 suck some of the pork fat out of myjacket? 644 00:26:56,574 --> 00:26:58,367 Come on, it's a free meal. 645 00:27:00,036 --> 00:27:02,538 Hey, Lori. Does Kent davison still come here? 646 00:27:02,622 --> 00:27:03,831 No, he left. 647 00:27:03,915 --> 00:27:06,542 He said it was too full of DC people or something. 648 00:27:06,626 --> 00:27:08,836 I see you got a mention in playbook yesterday. 649 00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:10,755 - Yep. - Awesome. 650 00:27:10,838 --> 00:27:13,883 I have a Google alert set up for your name. 651 00:27:13,966 --> 00:27:16,552 - Wow. - Hey, did you catch krauthammer 652 00:27:16,636 --> 00:27:18,346 in the post about the hostage situation? 653 00:27:18,429 --> 00:27:20,115 Are you the guy that always says hi to me in the garage? 654 00:27:20,139 --> 00:27:21,432 Yeah. 655 00:27:21,516 --> 00:27:23,476 Yeah, I got to do some fucking weights. 656 00:27:23,559 --> 00:27:25,561 This is for rubber idiots.