1 00:00:10,777 --> 00:00:13,897 You're traveling through another dimension- 2 00:00:13,932 --> 00:00:17,033 a dimension not only of sight and sound, but of mind, 3 00:00:17,068 --> 00:00:18,902 a journey into a wondrous land 4 00:00:18,937 --> 00:00:20,787 whose boundaries are that of imagination. 5 00:00:20,822 --> 00:00:23,907 Your next stop, the twilight zone. 6 00:00:40,173 --> 00:00:43,309 Hello, is anyone there? 7 00:00:56,439 --> 00:00:58,324 Hello! 8 00:01:10,837 --> 00:01:13,339 Is anyone there? 9 00:01:29,973 --> 00:01:31,224 Well, how do you do? 10 00:01:31,259 --> 00:01:33,726 I'm fitzgerald fortune... 11 00:01:34,978 --> 00:01:36,863 the theater critic. 12 00:01:36,898 --> 00:01:39,866 So what? 13 00:01:39,901 --> 00:01:43,236 Isn't rudeness something of a handicap in your line of work? 14 00:01:43,271 --> 00:01:45,238 What's that to you, hmm? 15 00:01:45,273 --> 00:01:47,740 When i saw the name "treasures unlimited," 16 00:01:47,775 --> 00:01:50,243 i stepped through that door fully expecting 17 00:01:50,278 --> 00:01:52,745 to encounter some sentimental old biddy 18 00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:55,882 in an ostrich-plumed hat and a moth-eaten feather boa. 19 00:01:55,917 --> 00:01:57,133 Instead, to my sincere delight, 20 00:01:57,168 --> 00:01:59,636 i seem to have discovered a misanthrope. 21 00:01:59,671 --> 00:02:00,887 What's that? 22 00:02:00,922 --> 00:02:02,755 A man who despises people. 23 00:02:02,790 --> 00:02:04,641 I got work to do, mister. 24 00:02:04,676 --> 00:02:06,509 What are you looking for? 25 00:02:06,544 --> 00:02:09,646 I am looking for a present for my wife's birthday. 26 00:02:09,681 --> 00:02:12,148 Wrong place, wrong place, junk shop. 27 00:02:12,183 --> 00:02:14,017 Exactly. 28 00:02:14,052 --> 00:02:15,518 You see, my wife has the absurd notion 29 00:02:15,553 --> 00:02:18,021 that she would like to learn to play the piano. 30 00:02:18,056 --> 00:02:20,523 Unfortunately, she hasn't a trace of talent. 31 00:02:20,558 --> 00:02:23,026 So, do you happen to have one of those old pianos 32 00:02:23,061 --> 00:02:24,277 that plays itself? 33 00:02:24,911 --> 00:02:26,779 Got one. Don't know if it works or not. 34 00:02:26,814 --> 00:02:28,031 But it's old. 35 00:02:28,066 --> 00:02:29,916 Splendid. 36 00:02:32,168 --> 00:02:34,170 Would you mind showing it to me, please? 37 00:02:38,541 --> 00:02:41,044 You're taking a lot of my time, mister. 38 00:02:41,079 --> 00:02:43,546 You're taking an equal amount of mine. 39 00:03:15,962 --> 00:03:19,082 What birthday does this make for your wife? 40 00:03:19,117 --> 00:03:20,333 The 26th. 41 00:03:20,368 --> 00:03:21,584 So young. 42 00:03:21,619 --> 00:03:24,721 You must be a man of great personal magnetism 43 00:03:24,756 --> 00:03:26,089 to attract a wife so young. 44 00:03:26,124 --> 00:03:27,340 I am. 45 00:03:27,375 --> 00:03:29,225 Utterly romantic- 46 00:03:29,260 --> 00:03:32,345 youth and wisdom, hand in hand. 47 00:03:32,380 --> 00:03:33,596 How i'd love to see 48 00:03:33,631 --> 00:03:35,481 the two of you together. 49 00:03:35,516 --> 00:03:37,350 What... what a picture you must make. 50 00:03:37,385 --> 00:03:41,738 And for her birthday, you're giving her the gift of music. 51 00:03:41,773 --> 00:03:43,606 Oh, how touching. 52 00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:45,491 What is the price of the piano? 53 00:03:46,109 --> 00:03:48,611 Youaretaking your young bride out somewhere tonight, hmm? 54 00:03:48,646 --> 00:03:50,496 Some quiet nook 55 00:03:50,531 --> 00:03:53,616 where you can be lost together in the midst of the great world, 56 00:03:53,651 --> 00:03:54,867 looking into each other's eyes. 57 00:03:55,501 --> 00:03:57,370 How much for the piano? 58 00:03:57,405 --> 00:03:59,872 It's worth $250, 59 00:03:59,907 --> 00:04:02,375 but since it's for a birthday present 60 00:04:02,410 --> 00:04:04,260 i'll let you have it for $200. 61 00:04:04,295 --> 00:04:05,511 I shall expect delivery 62 00:04:05,546 --> 00:04:06,763 before 6:00 this evening. 63 00:04:06,798 --> 00:04:09,882 The address is right here on my check. 64 00:04:09,917 --> 00:04:11,768 Certainly... i shouldn't like 65 00:04:11,803 --> 00:04:14,887 to have the little lady disappointed on her birthday. 66 00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:16,139 Has it occurred to you 67 00:04:16,174 --> 00:04:18,641 that you're extraordinarily susceptible 68 00:04:18,676 --> 00:04:19,892 to the power of music? 69 00:04:19,927 --> 00:04:22,395 Isn't everybody? 70 00:04:23,029 --> 00:04:25,531 Well... to some degree, yes. 71 00:04:29,902 --> 00:04:31,788 You going to stand around all day taking 72 00:04:31,823 --> 00:04:33,039 my good time? 73 00:04:33,074 --> 00:04:34,907 No, i was just going. 74 00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:35,908 Oh, there's the door. 75 00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:37,794 Tell me, are you sentimental 76 00:04:37,829 --> 00:04:39,662 about anything else beside birthdays? 77 00:04:40,296 --> 00:04:42,165 Birthdays? They're a stupid waste 78 00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:43,416 of time and money. 79 00:04:45,301 --> 00:04:46,552 Extraordinary. 80 00:04:56,562 --> 00:05:00,933 Mr. Fitzgerald fortune, theater critic and cynic at large, 81 00:05:01,567 --> 00:05:03,436 on his way to a birthday party. 82 00:05:03,471 --> 00:05:06,572 If he knew what is in store for him, he probably wouldn't go, 83 00:05:07,190 --> 00:05:09,075 because before this evening is over 84 00:05:09,110 --> 00:05:12,829 that cranky old piano is going to play "those piano-roll blues" 85 00:05:12,864 --> 00:05:15,331 with some effects that could happen only in 86 00:05:15,366 --> 00:05:17,200 the twilight zone. 87 00:05:50,616 --> 00:05:51,868 Good evening, sir. 88 00:05:51,903 --> 00:05:53,119 You've dusted the piano, i see. 89 00:05:53,154 --> 00:05:54,370 Yes, sir. 90 00:05:54,405 --> 00:05:56,239 It came an hour ago, sir. 91 00:05:56,274 --> 00:05:58,124 Oh, marvin... 92 00:05:58,159 --> 00:05:59,375 yes, sir? 93 00:05:59,410 --> 00:06:01,377 If you're going to wait at the party tonight 94 00:06:01,412 --> 00:06:03,880 do you think you could manage to do something about your face? 95 00:06:03,915 --> 00:06:05,131 My face, sir? 96 00:06:05,166 --> 00:06:07,633 A party is supposed to be a happy occasion. 97 00:06:07,668 --> 00:06:09,385 Do you think you could manage to be 98 00:06:09,420 --> 00:06:10,636 a little less miserable than usual? 99 00:06:10,671 --> 00:06:12,755 I will do my best, sir. 100 00:06:13,639 --> 00:06:15,508 Is that you, gerald? 101 00:06:15,543 --> 00:06:17,393 Yes, esther. 102 00:06:21,764 --> 00:06:23,015 Hello, darling. 103 00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:26,152 Esther, i want you to let marvin go. 104 00:06:26,187 --> 00:06:27,403 What's he done? 105 00:06:27,438 --> 00:06:28,654 No, it's not anything that he's done. 106 00:06:28,689 --> 00:06:29,906 It's just the way he looks. 107 00:06:29,941 --> 00:06:32,408 I hate to come home every evening and be confronted 108 00:06:32,443 --> 00:06:34,277 by that lugubrious expression of his- 109 00:06:34,312 --> 00:06:36,162 unspeakably depressing. Look at him! 110 00:06:36,197 --> 00:06:38,664 Looks as if he's going to burst into tears at any moment. 111 00:06:38,699 --> 00:06:41,167 Surely at least we can have a servant who's cheerful 112 00:06:41,202 --> 00:06:42,418 to have around. 113 00:06:42,453 --> 00:06:45,538 There's no need to hurt his feelings, dear. 114 00:06:45,573 --> 00:06:46,789 He has no feelings. 115 00:06:46,824 --> 00:06:48,040 The man's a clod. 116 00:06:49,792 --> 00:06:53,045 Well, you don't like the piano, i take it. 117 00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:56,432 Oh, i love the piano, i really do. 118 00:06:56,467 --> 00:06:58,050 Eh, have you played it? 119 00:06:58,085 --> 00:06:59,936 I didn't know how it worked, 120 00:06:59,971 --> 00:07:02,438 so i thought i'd wait until you came home. 121 00:07:02,473 --> 00:07:03,556 You see, i remembered 122 00:07:03,591 --> 00:07:06,058 that you wanted to learn to play the piano. 123 00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:07,310 This piano plays itself. 124 00:07:07,345 --> 00:07:09,195 Yes, wasn't that considerate of me? 125 00:07:09,230 --> 00:07:10,446 See, i didn't want you 126 00:07:10,481 --> 00:07:12,315 to take all those tedious lessons 127 00:07:12,350 --> 00:07:14,200 and then find out at the end of it all 128 00:07:14,235 --> 00:07:17,570 that you really had no musical talent at all. 129 00:07:17,605 --> 00:07:18,204 I see. 130 00:07:18,821 --> 00:07:20,206 Well, darling? 131 00:07:20,241 --> 00:07:23,326 No thanks for my birthday present? 132 00:07:23,361 --> 00:07:25,828 No emotion of any kind? 133 00:07:29,332 --> 00:07:31,217 Thank you, gerald. 134 00:07:31,252 --> 00:07:34,837 Well, now, let's hear what this one sounds like. 135 00:07:34,872 --> 00:07:36,722 It has a happy-enough sounding title. 136 00:07:47,350 --> 00:07:48,601 Thank you, marvin. 137 00:07:51,737 --> 00:07:55,491 Marvin, what on earth is the matter with you? 138 00:07:55,526 --> 00:07:56,859 Are you feeling 139 00:07:56,894 --> 00:07:57,493 all right, marvin? 140 00:07:57,528 --> 00:07:59,996 I'm very well, thank you, madame. 141 00:08:00,031 --> 00:08:02,114 But you're smiling. 142 00:08:02,149 --> 00:08:03,366 Am i? 143 00:08:03,401 --> 00:08:05,251 You most certainly are. 144 00:08:05,286 --> 00:08:08,371 That's probably because i'm happy, sir. 145 00:08:08,406 --> 00:08:10,256 What are you happy about? 146 00:08:10,291 --> 00:08:11,507 Everything... 147 00:08:11,542 --> 00:08:14,627 i make good money, got a nice place to live, 148 00:08:14,662 --> 00:08:17,763 my health, money in the bank, i like my job! 149 00:08:18,381 --> 00:08:19,131 But you couldn't possibly. 150 00:08:19,765 --> 00:08:21,017 I treat you atrociously. 151 00:08:21,052 --> 00:08:24,020 Oh, you don't bother me, mr. Fortune, you tickle me. 152 00:08:24,055 --> 00:08:25,888 Sometimes it's all i can do 153 00:08:25,923 --> 00:08:27,523 to keep from laughing out loud 154 00:08:27,558 --> 00:08:29,392 when you have one of your tantrums. 155 00:08:29,427 --> 00:08:32,528 I get a great kick of it when you go around 156 00:08:32,563 --> 00:08:35,648 flicking the furniture to see if i've dusted, 157 00:08:35,683 --> 00:08:39,402 or checking the silver to see if it's polished. 158 00:08:58,304 --> 00:09:01,307 I'm sorry if i spoke out of place, sir. 159 00:09:01,342 --> 00:09:03,559 Oh, on the contrary, marvin. 160 00:09:03,594 --> 00:09:04,810 I'm very glad you did. 161 00:09:04,845 --> 00:09:07,813 You may go, thank you. 162 00:09:16,572 --> 00:09:19,075 What a strange thing to happen. 163 00:09:19,110 --> 00:09:19,692 Yes, wasn't it? 164 00:09:19,727 --> 00:09:21,577 Who would have thought 165 00:09:21,612 --> 00:09:24,080 that beneath that gloomy exterior 166 00:09:24,115 --> 00:09:26,582 the man was concealing a sunny nature? 167 00:09:29,085 --> 00:09:32,838 Of course, i've always believed that we have two faces- 168 00:09:32,873 --> 00:09:33,956 one that we wear 169 00:09:33,991 --> 00:09:36,459 and the other that we keep hidden. 170 00:09:36,494 --> 00:09:40,212 The problem has always been to find some method 171 00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:43,349 to make people reveal their hidden faces. 172 00:09:43,384 --> 00:09:44,600 Yes, i suppose it helps 173 00:09:44,635 --> 00:09:47,720 if you know what particular hidden face 174 00:09:47,755 --> 00:09:48,971 you're looking for. 175 00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:55,227 How do you like this music, esther? 176 00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:06,622 You... beast! 177 00:10:06,657 --> 00:10:08,624 I've controlled myself 178 00:10:08,659 --> 00:10:11,377 for six years... 179 00:10:11,412 --> 00:10:13,245 and i can't stand it any longer. 180 00:10:13,879 --> 00:10:16,382 I was a stupid child when i married you. 181 00:10:16,417 --> 00:10:20,386 I thought you were a great man. 182 00:10:20,421 --> 00:10:22,505 But you aren't. You're just a sadistic fiend. 183 00:10:22,540 --> 00:10:24,390 You take pleasure in humiliating me 184 00:10:24,425 --> 00:10:26,258 in front of your clever friends. 185 00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:28,894 You enjoy hurting me. 186 00:10:28,929 --> 00:10:31,263 I've stood your cruelty for six years, 187 00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:33,149 and i can't stand it anymore. 188 00:10:33,184 --> 00:10:36,018 Are you feeling well, my dear? 189 00:10:37,653 --> 00:10:40,773 I feel better than i've felt for years. 190 00:10:40,808 --> 00:10:44,527 It's a great relief to tell you what i really think about you. 191 00:10:44,562 --> 00:10:46,412 I've kept it bottled up for so long. 192 00:10:46,447 --> 00:10:47,663 I thought you needed me. 193 00:10:47,698 --> 00:10:50,166 I thought you needed my love, but you don't. 194 00:10:50,201 --> 00:10:51,417 You just need someone to bully 195 00:10:51,452 --> 00:10:53,285 and to torture when you feel like it. 196 00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:57,673 I tried to love you- heaven knows i did- 197 00:10:57,708 --> 00:11:00,176 but i hate you. 198 00:11:00,211 --> 00:11:02,044 I hate you! 199 00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:08,184 Congratulations, my dear. 200 00:11:08,219 --> 00:11:10,052 A magnificent performance. 201 00:11:10,087 --> 00:11:11,804 If you'd been on stage, esther, 202 00:11:11,839 --> 00:11:13,689 i should have given you superlative reviews. 203 00:11:19,695 --> 00:11:22,198 I don't know what possessed me. 204 00:11:22,233 --> 00:11:23,199 Well, i do! 205 00:11:23,234 --> 00:11:25,067 I seem to have bought you 206 00:11:25,102 --> 00:11:27,570 a more interesting birthday present 207 00:11:27,605 --> 00:11:28,204 than i'd thought. 208 00:11:28,239 --> 00:11:31,323 I wonder what other people are hiding. 209 00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:32,958 Gerald, promise me that you won't play 210 00:11:32,993 --> 00:11:34,827 the piano again at the party tonight. 211 00:11:34,862 --> 00:11:36,579 I promise no such thing. 212 00:11:36,614 --> 00:11:40,332 I wasn't looking forward to this party very much. 213 00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:42,835 But now i think we're going to have 214 00:11:42,870 --> 00:11:44,970 a most amusing evening. 215 00:11:58,517 --> 00:11:59,769 Good evening, marvin. 216 00:11:59,804 --> 00:12:01,020 Good evening, sir. 217 00:12:01,055 --> 00:12:01,654 Gerry? 218 00:12:02,271 --> 00:12:03,522 Greg! Good to see you. 219 00:12:03,557 --> 00:12:04,774 Scotch? 220 00:12:04,809 --> 00:12:06,025 Of course. 221 00:12:06,060 --> 00:12:07,276 You're unusually cordial tonight. 222 00:12:07,311 --> 00:12:09,161 That is yoursmileyou're wearing, isn't it? 223 00:12:09,196 --> 00:12:12,281 I took it out of cold storage in honor of esther's birthday. 224 00:12:12,316 --> 00:12:14,166 Well, not i. I don't plan to smile all evening. 225 00:12:14,201 --> 00:12:16,669 I'm glad to see you share my distaste for birthdays. 226 00:12:16,704 --> 00:12:17,920 Well, birthdays, anniversaries 227 00:12:17,955 --> 00:12:20,423 and certain holidays i overlook whenever possible. 228 00:12:20,458 --> 00:12:22,925 They seem to imply a certain sticky human involvement 229 00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:24,176 which i'd much rather avoid. 230 00:12:24,211 --> 00:12:26,679 Oh, is that true? I'd always gathered you were 231 00:12:26,714 --> 00:12:29,181 something of a ladies' man, rather thickly involved. 232 00:12:29,216 --> 00:12:31,050 You've been misinformed, gerry, my boy. 233 00:12:31,085 --> 00:12:32,301 I'm much too selfish to fall in love. 234 00:12:32,336 --> 00:12:34,186 And you're miserable. 235 00:12:34,221 --> 00:12:35,438 Not in the least. 236 00:12:35,473 --> 00:12:38,557 I value the peace and quiet of my orderly bachelor existence. 237 00:12:38,592 --> 00:12:41,060 Lets me write my plays without interference from anyone. 238 00:12:41,095 --> 00:12:42,311 Oh, yes, how is the new play? 239 00:12:42,812 --> 00:12:44,697 Brilliant. 240 00:12:44,732 --> 00:12:46,315 By the way, where is the birthday girl? 241 00:12:46,350 --> 00:12:48,818 Oh, she's still at her makeup table. 242 00:12:48,853 --> 00:12:50,703 Her emotions were showing, 243 00:12:50,738 --> 00:12:52,571 and she's covering up a little. 244 00:12:52,606 --> 00:12:55,708 Tell me, what do you think of this amusing little toy 245 00:12:55,743 --> 00:12:56,959 i found for her? 246 00:12:56,994 --> 00:12:58,828 I haven't seen one of those old jobs in years. 247 00:12:58,863 --> 00:12:59,462 Doesn't play, does it? 248 00:12:59,497 --> 00:13:01,213 It does, indeed. 249 00:13:01,248 --> 00:13:03,082 Plays remarkably well. 250 00:13:03,117 --> 00:13:04,967 Let me show you. 251 00:13:05,002 --> 00:13:08,087 I have a piece especially for you. 252 00:13:12,376 --> 00:13:14,226 Romantic, wouldn't you say? 253 00:13:16,595 --> 00:13:19,098 Is esther pleased with it? 254 00:13:19,133 --> 00:13:21,600 Well, she hasn't shown any great enthusiasm. 255 00:13:22,234 --> 00:13:24,103 That doesn't sound like esther. 256 00:13:24,138 --> 00:13:27,857 Usually she's so grateful for any small show of affection. 257 00:13:27,892 --> 00:13:30,359 I think that's one of her most lovable qualities- 258 00:13:30,394 --> 00:13:33,496 the ability to accept a bouquet of daisies 259 00:13:33,531 --> 00:13:35,998 as though they were the rarest of orchids. 260 00:13:36,033 --> 00:13:39,752 I remember i once gave her a small ring, a turquoise ring. 261 00:13:39,787 --> 00:13:42,254 She accepted it as if it were the hope diamond. 262 00:13:42,289 --> 00:13:46,625 Oh, i remember when she brought that ring back from mexico city. 263 00:13:46,660 --> 00:13:49,762 But i seem to recall that she went there alone. 264 00:13:49,797 --> 00:13:51,013 Yes, yes, she did. 265 00:13:51,048 --> 00:13:52,882 We ran into each other down there. 266 00:13:52,917 --> 00:13:54,767 She never mentioned it. 267 00:13:54,802 --> 00:13:57,269 Wasn't that rather an odd coincidence? 268 00:13:57,304 --> 00:13:59,772 Gerry, has it ever occurred to you 269 00:13:59,807 --> 00:14:02,892 that i'm very deeply in love with your wife? 270 00:14:02,927 --> 00:14:06,028 My dear greg... i always believed that you were 271 00:14:06,063 --> 00:14:08,531 about as capable of passion as a head of lettuce 272 00:14:08,566 --> 00:14:12,284 and esther's emotional power was that of a newborn kitten. 273 00:14:12,319 --> 00:14:13,536 Now don't speak of her that way. 274 00:14:13,571 --> 00:14:16,038 I'll speak of her any way i please. 275 00:14:16,073 --> 00:14:17,289 She's my wife. 276 00:14:17,406 --> 00:14:18,657 You don't know esther at all. 277 00:14:18,692 --> 00:14:20,543 Esther is full of love. 278 00:14:20,578 --> 00:14:23,045 Her skin is warm and soft like velvet. 279 00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:26,165 The scent of her hair is enough to drive a man wild. 280 00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:29,301 And... her hands are gentle, sweet to kiss and to hold. 281 00:14:29,336 --> 00:14:30,553 Esther is music... 282 00:14:30,588 --> 00:14:31,804 gerald, no! 283 00:14:31,839 --> 00:14:33,672 ...honey, esther is... 284 00:14:34,924 --> 00:14:38,060 oh, i'm sorry you did that, my dear. 285 00:14:38,095 --> 00:14:41,814 I don't know when i've been so highly entertained. 286 00:14:41,849 --> 00:14:43,065 Esther, i'm sorry. 287 00:14:43,100 --> 00:14:44,934 I can't explain what happened. 288 00:14:44,969 --> 00:14:47,436 It's probably just as well. 289 00:14:47,471 --> 00:14:51,190 I never enjoyed deceiving you, gerald. 290 00:14:51,225 --> 00:14:53,325 My dear, you're incapable of deceiving me. 291 00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:55,194 I've known for years of your capacity 292 00:14:55,229 --> 00:14:57,696 for doing any number of sordid little things. 293 00:14:57,731 --> 00:15:00,199 The only revelation that's been made to me 294 00:15:00,234 --> 00:15:02,701 has been the specific details of your squalid little affair. 295 00:15:03,988 --> 00:15:05,204 Oh, our guests are arriving. 296 00:15:05,239 --> 00:15:07,089 Before i welcome them, 297 00:15:07,124 --> 00:15:08,958 may i wish you a happy birthday, my dear, 298 00:15:08,993 --> 00:15:10,843 and hope that the next 26 years 299 00:15:10,878 --> 00:15:12,711 will be equally rewarding. 300 00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:15,848 Gerald, please don't use the piano again tonight. 301 00:15:15,883 --> 00:15:17,716 It's not something that you fool with. 302 00:15:17,751 --> 00:15:19,602 I'm not fooling with it, my dear. 303 00:15:20,219 --> 00:15:22,104 I'm using it with deadly accuracy. 304 00:15:24,607 --> 00:15:26,475 Hi, marvin! 305 00:15:26,510 --> 00:15:27,726 Good evening, miss moore. 306 00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:29,612 Marge, my dear, do come in. 307 00:15:29,647 --> 00:15:32,731 Well, don't just stand there, devouring me with your eyes. 308 00:15:32,766 --> 00:15:33,983 Kiss me, you fool. 309 00:15:34,617 --> 00:15:35,868 Marge, i'm really vexed with you. 310 00:15:35,903 --> 00:15:37,736 You promised me the next time i saw you 311 00:15:37,771 --> 00:15:39,622 you'd be as svelte as an antelope. 312 00:15:39,657 --> 00:15:42,374 I've been on more diets than arcaro has horses. 313 00:15:42,409 --> 00:15:43,742 But somehow, i always manage 314 00:15:43,777 --> 00:15:46,245 to get thrown before the finish line. 315 00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:47,496 Happy birthday, esther. 316 00:15:48,130 --> 00:15:48,747 Thank you, marge. 317 00:15:48,782 --> 00:15:51,250 I'm not even speaking to you, handsome. 318 00:15:51,285 --> 00:15:55,004 Do you realize it's been months since you've called me? 319 00:15:55,039 --> 00:15:56,889 Somebody else been taking my place? 320 00:15:56,924 --> 00:15:58,757 As a matter of fact, yes. 321 00:15:58,792 --> 00:16:01,894 We've just been having an illuminating discussion about 322 00:16:01,929 --> 00:16:04,396 greg's new romance. 323 00:16:04,431 --> 00:16:06,148 Don't tell me her name, 324 00:16:06,183 --> 00:16:08,651 or i just might scratch her eyes out. 325 00:16:08,686 --> 00:16:12,404 Or worse yet, i might just sit on her and mash her to death. 326 00:16:13,691 --> 00:16:14,907 Well, isn't somebody 327 00:16:14,942 --> 00:16:17,409 going to offer me a drink? 328 00:16:17,444 --> 00:16:19,161 Oh, you'll have to talk to marvin. 329 00:16:19,196 --> 00:16:21,664 I believe another stagecoach is arriving. 330 00:16:22,915 --> 00:16:24,166 Darling, you look ravishing. 331 00:16:24,783 --> 00:16:25,417 How are you? Mwa. 332 00:16:25,452 --> 00:16:26,669 Hi. Ross, good to see you. 333 00:16:26,704 --> 00:16:29,171 Hello, mary. Happy birthday. 334 00:16:31,674 --> 00:16:34,793 Oh, this looks marvelous. Oh, this looks marvelous! 335 00:16:34,828 --> 00:16:36,045 Why don't you have one? 336 00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:37,296 Not with my diet. 337 00:16:37,331 --> 00:16:37,930 Diet? What's that? 338 00:16:38,547 --> 00:16:39,798 All right, everyone, 339 00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:42,301 now, may i have your attention, please? 340 00:16:42,336 --> 00:16:44,186 Now, um, would you just find seats. 341 00:16:44,221 --> 00:16:46,689 Anywhere, uh, on the floor will be fine. 342 00:16:46,724 --> 00:16:48,557 Not me, i'd never be able to get up. 343 00:16:48,592 --> 00:16:51,060 The time has come for fun and games. 344 00:16:51,095 --> 00:16:54,196 Now, being mostly friends of esther's 345 00:16:54,231 --> 00:16:56,315 you're probably inclined to such intellectual pursuits 346 00:16:56,350 --> 00:16:57,816 as, uh, spin the bottle or pin the tail 347 00:16:58,450 --> 00:17:00,452 on the donkey. However, tonight 348 00:17:00,487 --> 00:17:03,455 i thought rather than cater to your juvenile mentalities 349 00:17:03,490 --> 00:17:05,324 we might perhaps have a rather more adult game. 350 00:17:05,359 --> 00:17:07,826 When are we going to cut the cake? I'm hungry! 351 00:17:07,861 --> 00:17:09,712 Compulsive eaters 352 00:17:09,747 --> 00:17:12,214 will find hors d'oeuvres within arm's reach. 353 00:17:12,249 --> 00:17:14,967 Now, for this game, we shall need a volunteer. 354 00:17:17,219 --> 00:17:19,471 Well, in the absence of a volunteer 355 00:17:19,506 --> 00:17:21,974 i shall have to conscript someone. 356 00:17:22,009 --> 00:17:23,842 Um... marge moore. 357 00:17:24,476 --> 00:17:25,844 Me? 358 00:17:30,349 --> 00:17:32,851 Okay, svengali, uh, what's the caper? 359 00:17:32,886 --> 00:17:34,103 All i want you 360 00:17:34,138 --> 00:17:37,239 to do is to listen to some music, my dear. 361 00:17:38,490 --> 00:17:40,993 Oh, well, i can do that! 362 00:17:51,503 --> 00:17:53,372 Talk to me, marge. 363 00:17:53,407 --> 00:17:56,508 Tell me what you're feeling. 364 00:17:56,543 --> 00:17:59,011 My name isn't marge. 365 00:17:59,046 --> 00:18:01,513 What is your name? 366 00:18:04,016 --> 00:18:06,518 My name is tina. 367 00:18:06,553 --> 00:18:09,021 Who are you, tina? 368 00:18:09,056 --> 00:18:11,523 I'm a little girl. 369 00:18:11,558 --> 00:18:14,026 What do you like to do? 370 00:18:14,061 --> 00:18:16,528 Oh, i love to dance. 371 00:18:16,563 --> 00:18:19,648 All right, tina, dance for us. 372 00:18:39,168 --> 00:18:41,053 Shh! 373 00:18:46,809 --> 00:18:51,180 All right, you may stop dancing now, tina. 374 00:18:51,215 --> 00:18:54,566 Tell me, are you always tina? 375 00:18:54,601 --> 00:18:57,436 Not always. 376 00:18:57,471 --> 00:18:59,822 What else are you, marge? 377 00:18:59,857 --> 00:19:05,444 Sometimes, i pretend that i'm a snowflake; 378 00:19:05,479 --> 00:19:10,449 white and tiny and perfectly formed. 379 00:19:10,484 --> 00:19:12,084 I float on the air 380 00:19:12,119 --> 00:19:16,338 of a pale blue moonlit night. 381 00:19:16,373 --> 00:19:18,957 I'm never lonely... 382 00:19:18,992 --> 00:19:22,711 beautiful and slender. 383 00:19:22,746 --> 00:19:25,848 Oh, and i'm loved. 384 00:19:25,883 --> 00:19:31,470 I see a man with his hand stretched out. 385 00:19:31,505 --> 00:19:35,858 I drift down and reach that hand. 386 00:19:37,726 --> 00:19:43,365 I'm enclosed by his warmth and i melt with his love. 387 00:19:59,283 --> 00:20:01,750 It was all in fun, my dear. 388 00:20:01,785 --> 00:20:03,752 I chose you especially, because i thought 389 00:20:03,787 --> 00:20:06,255 you'd enjoy a joke. 390 00:20:27,025 --> 00:20:28,277 Gerald! 391 00:20:28,312 --> 00:20:29,027 Don't you think that we've had 392 00:20:29,062 --> 00:20:31,530 enough of that piano for tonight? Oh, not quite. 393 00:20:31,565 --> 00:20:32,781 Sit down, sit down, everybody. 394 00:20:32,816 --> 00:20:34,666 I'm going to call forth the devil. 395 00:20:34,701 --> 00:20:37,169 I hardly think we shall get a volunteer, 396 00:20:37,204 --> 00:20:38,420 but that doesn't matter. 397 00:20:38,455 --> 00:20:40,289 Esther, put this on the piano. 398 00:20:41,540 --> 00:20:43,425 Now, cheer up, darling. 399 00:20:44,042 --> 00:20:45,294 It's only a game. 400 00:20:55,973 --> 00:20:57,806 Now, this is going to befaust. 401 00:20:57,841 --> 00:21:00,309 So if there really is a devil among us 402 00:21:00,344 --> 00:21:02,194 we shall know it soon enough. 403 00:21:27,336 --> 00:21:29,221 Say something, devil. 404 00:21:30,839 --> 00:21:32,090 I'm afraid. 405 00:21:32,125 --> 00:21:34,092 What are you afraid of, devil? 406 00:21:34,127 --> 00:21:37,846 I'm afraid of the dark. 407 00:21:37,881 --> 00:21:40,599 Why, you're not a devil. 408 00:21:40,634 --> 00:21:43,735 You're just a poor, frightened kid. 409 00:21:43,770 --> 00:21:45,604 That's a secret. 410 00:21:47,489 --> 00:21:49,992 Tell us your secret, gerry. 411 00:21:51,860 --> 00:21:55,614 I'm afraid of you all. 412 00:21:56,865 --> 00:22:00,002 I'm afraid of people. 413 00:22:00,037 --> 00:22:02,504 There's a small, frightened boy, 414 00:22:02,539 --> 00:22:06,258 and i've kept him hidden away inside me. 415 00:22:06,293 --> 00:22:09,378 And he only likes to hurt people, 416 00:22:09,413 --> 00:22:12,514 and i can't stop him from doing it. 417 00:22:12,549 --> 00:22:16,385 Did you know that i envied you, marge? 418 00:22:16,420 --> 00:22:18,887 I can't embrace the world as you do. 419 00:22:18,922 --> 00:22:22,391 And in my envy, i released 420 00:22:22,426 --> 00:22:26,778 that frightened child inside me and i let him hurt you. 421 00:22:26,813 --> 00:22:29,281 I tried to hurt you, too, greg. 422 00:22:29,316 --> 00:22:31,400 I gave bad reviews to your plays 423 00:22:31,435 --> 00:22:33,902 when i should have given praise. 424 00:22:33,937 --> 00:22:37,039 I coveted your talent because i have none. 425 00:22:37,074 --> 00:22:39,908 And i hurt you in every childish way i could. 426 00:22:39,943 --> 00:22:43,795 I, uh, i think we'd better go. 427 00:22:43,830 --> 00:22:45,664 Esther... 428 00:22:46,950 --> 00:22:50,052 i've hurt you most of all. 429 00:22:50,087 --> 00:22:52,554 You came to me with love, 430 00:22:52,589 --> 00:22:54,423 but you frightened me. 431 00:22:54,458 --> 00:22:56,308 I don't know how to return love 432 00:22:56,343 --> 00:23:00,679 except as a child does- 433 00:23:00,714 --> 00:23:04,433 with shrieks and blows and indifference. 434 00:23:04,468 --> 00:23:06,318 Good night, esther. 435 00:23:06,353 --> 00:23:07,569 Uh... 436 00:23:07,604 --> 00:23:09,438 esther... 437 00:23:09,473 --> 00:23:12,190 will you come with me? 438 00:23:12,225 --> 00:23:14,076 Where are you all going?! 439 00:23:14,111 --> 00:23:15,944 I don't want you to leave. 440 00:23:15,979 --> 00:23:17,829 Come back! 441 00:23:18,447 --> 00:23:21,083 If you leave me, i'm going to be very naughty! 442 00:23:50,862 --> 00:23:53,365 Don't laugh at me. 443 00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:56,485 I'm not laughing, mr. Fortune. 444 00:23:56,520 --> 00:23:58,987 You're not funny anymore. 445 00:24:00,238 --> 00:24:02,124 Mr. Fitzgerald fortune, 446 00:24:02,159 --> 00:24:04,993 a man who went searching for concealed persons 447 00:24:05,028 --> 00:24:09,381 and found himself in the twilight zone. 448 00:24:14,202 --> 00:24:17,305 Rod serling, creator ofthe twilight zone, 449 00:24:17,340 --> 00:24:19,174 will tell you about next week's story 450 00:24:19,209 --> 00:24:21,059 after this message. 451 00:24:23,011 --> 00:24:24,513 And now, mr. Serling. 452 00:24:24,548 --> 00:24:27,599 A symbol of a sad but rather commonplace event. 453 00:24:27,634 --> 00:24:30,101 An impressive funeral, the deceased laid out 454 00:24:30,136 --> 00:24:31,987 in a most acceptable manner... 455 00:24:32,022 --> 00:24:34,489 but in this case, at the last moment deciding 456 00:24:34,524 --> 00:24:37,609 that in matters concerning the trip to the great beyond, 457 00:24:37,644 --> 00:24:39,494 perhaps this trip wasn't necessary. 458 00:24:39,529 --> 00:24:41,997 You'll see it next week onthe twilight zone 459 00:24:42,032 --> 00:24:43,865 when we present montgomery pittman's 460 00:24:43,900 --> 00:24:47,619 "the last rites of jeff myrtlebank." 461 00:24:47,654 --> 00:24:50,755 Very often when you write for a living, you run across blocks- 462 00:24:50,790 --> 00:24:53,258 moments when you can't think of the right thing to say. 463 00:24:53,293 --> 00:24:55,760 Now happily, there are no blocks to get in the way 464 00:24:55,795 --> 00:24:57,629 of the full pleasure of chesterfield. 465 00:24:57,664 --> 00:24:59,514 Great tobaccos make it a wonderful smoke. 466 00:24:59,549 --> 00:25:02,017 Try 'em; they satisfy. 467 00:25:32,163 --> 00:25:33,415 This is james arness. 468 00:25:33,450 --> 00:25:35,300 You know, it's only a short hop 469 00:25:35,335 --> 00:25:37,802 fromthe twilight zone to dodge city andgunsmoke, 470 00:25:37,837 --> 00:25:41,056 saturday nights over most of these stations.