1 00:00:09,735 --> 00:00:10,685 I'm not picking on you at all. 2 00:00:10,736 --> 00:00:11,703 You're English, correct? 3 00:00:11,787 --> 00:00:12,821 Yeah, big time, yeah. 4 00:00:12,872 --> 00:00:14,039 I'm working on an English character. 5 00:00:14,123 --> 00:00:15,090 Would you mind gi... 6 00:00:15,157 --> 00:00:17,075 it's called Reginald Pooftah. 7 00:00:18,494 --> 00:00:20,578 David Brent, my liege. How are you? 8 00:00:20,663 --> 00:00:22,530 - Michael Scott. - Oh, there you go. 9 00:00:22,581 --> 00:00:23,565 I do characters as well. 10 00:00:23,633 --> 00:00:24,899 I got a Chinese fella. 11 00:00:24,967 --> 00:00:27,368 He's called ho me. 12 00:00:27,420 --> 00:00:29,170 That's what it sounds like. 13 00:00:29,221 --> 00:00:31,089 - Herrow! Herrow! - I do ping. 14 00:00:31,173 --> 00:00:32,540 Herrow. I ping. 15 00:00:32,591 --> 00:00:34,009 You can't do that these days. You can't. 16 00:00:34,060 --> 00:00:36,261 No, no, no. And people don't understand 17 00:00:36,345 --> 00:00:39,380 that it has nothing to do with making fun 18 00:00:39,432 --> 00:00:40,515 of a different nationality. 19 00:00:40,583 --> 00:00:41,733 No, no, no. 20 00:00:41,817 --> 00:00:45,353 No, comedy is a place where the mind goes 21 00:00:45,421 --> 00:00:46,554 to tickle itself. 22 00:00:46,605 --> 00:00:47,572 That's what she said. 23 00:00:52,328 --> 00:00:54,395 That's good. Pleasure to meet you. 24 00:00:54,447 --> 00:00:55,697 - Where are you working? - Dunder Mifflin. 25 00:00:55,765 --> 00:00:57,532 - Any jobs now? - No, not right now. 26 00:00:57,600 --> 00:00:58,800 - Just let me know. - All right. 27 00:00:58,868 --> 00:01:00,902 All right. See ya around. 28 00:01:00,953 --> 00:01:03,404 Bye-bye. 29 00:01:03,456 --> 00:01:04,706 What a nice guy. 30 00:01:09,211 --> 00:01:16,918 Syn by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 31 00:01:28,164 --> 00:01:29,597 Your first student is here, 32 00:01:29,665 --> 00:01:31,116 mister Bernard. 33 00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:35,620 That's actually "master of ceremonies" Bernard. 34 00:01:35,705 --> 00:01:36,805 Last year, I went to a seminar 35 00:01:36,872 --> 00:01:38,206 called "the ten secrets of real estate." 36 00:01:38,274 --> 00:01:39,274 Turns out it was just a ploy 37 00:01:39,341 --> 00:01:41,042 to sell me time-shares in Idaho. 38 00:01:41,110 --> 00:01:44,913 Cut to, you know, I'm spending a weekend in Boise, 39 00:01:44,980 --> 00:01:46,815 terrible time, super lonely. 40 00:01:46,882 --> 00:01:48,466 But I get to thinking 41 00:01:48,551 --> 00:01:51,169 maybe I should put on my own seminar 42 00:01:51,253 --> 00:01:52,637 to lure clients. 43 00:01:52,722 --> 00:01:53,755 Oh, it's... 44 00:01:59,161 --> 00:02:00,478 Hello, I am here 45 00:02:00,563 --> 00:02:02,097 for the small business seminar. 46 00:02:02,164 --> 00:02:03,531 Michael? 47 00:02:03,599 --> 00:02:04,766 Neii'm Greek! 48 00:02:04,834 --> 00:02:06,367 My name is Mikanos. 49 00:02:09,655 --> 00:02:10,705 Wait, Michael? 50 00:02:10,773 --> 00:02:12,157 Michael? Okay. 51 00:02:12,241 --> 00:02:13,842 I am the plant. 52 00:02:13,909 --> 00:02:15,643 Every great seminar has one. 53 00:02:15,711 --> 00:02:17,579 My job is to make the speaker look good, 54 00:02:17,646 --> 00:02:19,748 and I do this through the techniques 55 00:02:19,815 --> 00:02:21,382 of leading questions 56 00:02:21,450 --> 00:02:23,885 and laughing at all jokes. 57 00:02:23,953 --> 00:02:26,087 And the character, Mikanos, 58 00:02:26,155 --> 00:02:27,555 is just a little added Flava. 59 00:02:27,623 --> 00:02:32,727 Mikanos is loosely based on another character I do, Spiros, 60 00:02:32,795 --> 00:02:34,662 who is more about the ladies. 61 00:02:34,730 --> 00:02:36,598 Thank you so much, tuna Turner. 62 00:02:36,665 --> 00:02:38,333 You are simply the best. 63 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:40,218 Listen, this isn't a favor, all right? 64 00:02:40,302 --> 00:02:41,803 This is a good idea. We all win. 65 00:02:41,854 --> 00:02:43,004 Go higher. 66 00:02:43,072 --> 00:02:44,939 I get super flexible when I'm nervous. 67 00:02:45,007 --> 00:02:47,142 Wow. 68 00:02:47,193 --> 00:02:49,110 Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. 69 00:02:49,178 --> 00:02:52,647 Hey, Andy, I'm really, really sorry to do this to you, 70 00:02:52,698 --> 00:02:54,849 but I have a meeting today 71 00:02:54,900 --> 00:02:57,068 that I totally forgot, 72 00:02:57,153 --> 00:02:58,219 so I can't be a part of this seminar. 73 00:02:58,287 --> 00:02:59,353 No. What? 74 00:02:59,405 --> 00:03:00,538 You can't do that. 75 00:03:00,623 --> 00:03:02,123 You are a critical part of this seminar. 76 00:03:02,191 --> 00:03:03,541 You're the charming warm-up guy. - I know. 77 00:03:03,626 --> 00:03:05,827 - If the seminar was a meal, you'd be the amuse-bouche. 78 00:03:05,878 --> 00:03:07,912 You, like, signal the flavors of the whole night. 79 00:03:07,997 --> 00:03:08,913 I'm really sorry. I can't do it 80 00:03:08,998 --> 00:03:10,498 you can't. You can't. 81 00:03:10,549 --> 00:03:11,599 I can't have this go badly. 82 00:03:11,667 --> 00:03:12,934 I'm a terrible salesman, 83 00:03:13,002 --> 00:03:15,003 and I haven't been making very many sales lately, 84 00:03:15,054 --> 00:03:16,370 or ever. 85 00:03:16,422 --> 00:03:18,039 This is my only idea on how to turn things around. 86 00:03:18,090 --> 00:03:19,674 If it goes badly, I might lose my job, 87 00:03:19,725 --> 00:03:20,942 which would suck, because this is 88 00:03:21,010 --> 00:03:22,443 the only job I've ever been good at. 89 00:03:23,512 --> 00:03:24,596 Will you let me know 90 00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:25,930 when this whole seminar thing's over? 91 00:03:26,015 --> 00:03:28,016 What's going on? Do you know that guy? 92 00:03:28,083 --> 00:03:30,218 I just have a meeting, uh, outside the office. 93 00:03:30,269 --> 00:03:33,154 Hey. 94 00:03:33,222 --> 00:03:34,555 How are the marks? 95 00:03:34,607 --> 00:03:36,524 What are some of your small business ideas? 96 00:03:36,575 --> 00:03:37,826 I was thinking we could buy up 97 00:03:37,893 --> 00:03:39,794 a bunch of abandoned mineshafts. 98 00:03:41,197 --> 00:03:42,263 That's great. 99 00:03:42,331 --> 00:03:44,065 There's a big, big future in that. 100 00:03:44,116 --> 00:03:45,066 A lot of mines in Scranton. 101 00:03:45,134 --> 00:03:46,234 Um, what about you? 102 00:03:46,285 --> 00:03:48,002 - Uh, credit cards. - Uh-huh. 103 00:03:48,070 --> 00:03:50,171 My company will act as an intermedium 104 00:03:50,239 --> 00:03:51,956 for, like, 0.2 cents off every transaction. 105 00:03:52,041 --> 00:03:53,141 Wow! 106 00:03:53,209 --> 00:03:54,375 Or something with cell phones, 107 00:03:54,426 --> 00:03:56,177 like, every time you make a phone call, 108 00:03:56,245 --> 00:03:57,745 I'd make 0.2 cents. 109 00:03:57,796 --> 00:04:00,098 Or anything... like, any online shopping, 110 00:04:00,182 --> 00:04:01,883 I get .2 cents basically. Right. 111 00:04:01,934 --> 00:04:04,636 Okay? Okay. Great. 112 00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:06,471 You promised us whales. These are worms. 113 00:04:06,555 --> 00:04:08,756 They're not worms, Dwight, okay? 114 00:04:08,824 --> 00:04:10,758 They're just people with tiny businesses. 115 00:04:10,809 --> 00:04:13,144 They're baby whales, which is even cuter. 116 00:04:13,229 --> 00:04:14,295 I'm out. 117 00:04:14,363 --> 00:04:15,630 Stanley, you're supposed to close. 118 00:04:15,698 --> 00:04:16,614 I'm out, too. 119 00:04:16,699 --> 00:04:18,199 What? 120 00:04:18,267 --> 00:04:19,450 I already lost Jim. 121 00:04:19,535 --> 00:04:21,369 Salesmen are supposed to help each other out. 122 00:04:21,436 --> 00:04:22,453 We're supposed to be a team. 123 00:04:22,538 --> 00:04:23,821 We're no more a team 124 00:04:23,906 --> 00:04:27,458 than the people staying in the same hotel are a team. 125 00:04:27,543 --> 00:04:28,993 You know what might be kind of fun? 126 00:04:29,078 --> 00:04:32,313 I was thinking, you know Andy's having a seminar today? 127 00:04:32,381 --> 00:04:33,781 What if we went in as a Greek couple? 128 00:04:33,832 --> 00:04:35,350 Mikanos and... 129 00:04:35,417 --> 00:04:37,168 Oh, I don't know, Michael. I'm not feeling up to that. 130 00:04:37,253 --> 00:04:38,319 Okay. 131 00:04:38,387 --> 00:04:40,004 Holly broke up with a.J. Last week, 132 00:04:40,089 --> 00:04:41,489 which is the greatest thing 133 00:04:41,557 --> 00:04:43,424 that has ever happened... To me. 134 00:04:43,492 --> 00:04:46,928 To Holly, it's been the worst week of her life, 135 00:04:46,996 --> 00:04:48,496 and I know for a fact 136 00:04:48,564 --> 00:04:51,015 that there was a week for her in High School 137 00:04:51,100 --> 00:04:54,836 when she got mono and her first period ever. 138 00:04:54,904 --> 00:04:56,170 Too much information? 139 00:04:56,238 --> 00:04:57,805 That's what I thought. 140 00:04:57,873 --> 00:04:59,374 But you know what? 141 00:04:59,441 --> 00:05:01,526 Here I am using it. 142 00:05:01,610 --> 00:05:04,512 If-a you change-a you mind, 143 00:05:04,580 --> 00:05:06,681 why don't you talk to mikanos? 144 00:05:06,749 --> 00:05:09,484 Is mikanos Greek? He sounds Italian. 145 00:05:09,551 --> 00:05:11,953 Ugh. You're the fifth person to tell me that today. 146 00:05:12,021 --> 00:05:15,156 Maybe mikanos ran away to join the Italian circus. 147 00:05:15,207 --> 00:05:16,708 Okay, yeah, like a character history. 148 00:05:16,792 --> 00:05:19,394 Good. Tom Hanks does that. 149 00:05:19,461 --> 00:05:21,212 Down...There. 150 00:05:24,433 --> 00:05:26,200 Is "JLP" a word? 151 00:05:26,268 --> 00:05:28,536 - "Jelp"? J-e-l-p? 152 00:05:28,604 --> 00:05:29,704 - No, j-l-p. 153 00:05:29,772 --> 00:05:32,340 Like, "I JLP... I JLP you!" 154 00:05:32,391 --> 00:05:34,392 I don't think that's a word. 155 00:05:34,476 --> 00:05:36,110 I'm playing scrabble with Gabe, 156 00:05:36,178 --> 00:05:38,346 and I've never won a game. 157 00:05:38,397 --> 00:05:40,281 The winner gets to pick the movie we watch. 158 00:05:40,349 --> 00:05:41,950 I have won no games. 159 00:05:42,017 --> 00:05:45,453 So far I've seen the shining, 160 00:05:45,521 --> 00:05:47,789 Rosemary's baby, 161 00:05:47,856 --> 00:05:48,990 the ring. 162 00:05:49,058 --> 00:05:51,492 Not really my thing. 163 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:52,927 Although, I... 164 00:05:52,995 --> 00:05:55,163 I do like the early parts of the movies 165 00:05:55,230 --> 00:05:57,932 where they have a perfect family and everything. 166 00:05:58,000 --> 00:05:59,267 You want some help? 167 00:05:59,335 --> 00:06:01,085 Really? 168 00:06:02,304 --> 00:06:03,721 Yes. 169 00:06:03,806 --> 00:06:06,507 - K-a. "Ka"? 170 00:06:06,575 --> 00:06:08,092 What does "ka" mean? 171 00:06:08,177 --> 00:06:09,444 It means you're playing someone 172 00:06:09,511 --> 00:06:12,313 who's going to destroy you. 173 00:06:12,381 --> 00:06:13,931 Why did you play "moo"? 174 00:06:14,016 --> 00:06:15,483 Because I'm playing to win. 175 00:06:15,550 --> 00:06:17,518 I'm playing "moo," I'm playing "milk, 176 00:06:17,586 --> 00:06:18,903 whatever it takes. 177 00:06:18,988 --> 00:06:22,056 Okay, but look, you could have hit "mood." 178 00:06:22,124 --> 00:06:23,624 Would have played a... Uh! 179 00:06:23,692 --> 00:06:24,692 A triple word. 180 00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:26,494 Like the cow mood yesterday. 181 00:06:26,561 --> 00:06:28,262 God. 182 00:06:28,330 --> 00:06:29,563 Or moon. 183 00:06:29,615 --> 00:06:32,583 The cow jumped over the moon. 184 00:06:32,668 --> 00:06:34,919 No, it doesn't have to just be cow stuff, right? 185 00:06:35,004 --> 00:06:38,673 Kevin, Jim dropped out of my seminar, 186 00:06:38,741 --> 00:06:39,841 and I'm just... 187 00:06:39,908 --> 00:06:41,109 I was wondering if you could replace him 188 00:06:41,176 --> 00:06:42,377 as my charming warm-up guy. 189 00:06:42,444 --> 00:06:44,245 Andy, I'm no Jim. 190 00:06:44,313 --> 00:06:48,049 The only way that I'm Jim is in the movie version 191 00:06:48,100 --> 00:06:51,185 when Jim sees what his future would be like 192 00:06:51,253 --> 00:06:52,720 if he never met Pam. 193 00:06:52,771 --> 00:06:55,440 Hey, that's crazy talk. 194 00:06:55,524 --> 00:06:56,757 I think you're great. 195 00:06:56,809 --> 00:06:59,644 Then I won't let you down. 196 00:06:59,728 --> 00:07:00,945 - Cake. - In you go. 197 00:07:01,030 --> 00:07:03,297 Hi, Ryan, you went to business school, right? 198 00:07:03,365 --> 00:07:04,599 - Yeah. - I need someone 199 00:07:04,666 --> 00:07:06,067 to talk to this seminar about business. 200 00:07:06,118 --> 00:07:07,785 - And? - Can you do it? 201 00:07:07,870 --> 00:07:10,772 Okay. I don't... I don't like committing to things 202 00:07:10,839 --> 00:07:12,407 just like that. 203 00:07:12,458 --> 00:07:13,458 So no? 204 00:07:13,542 --> 00:07:15,276 No, I don't like committing 205 00:07:15,344 --> 00:07:16,577 to not doing things, either. 206 00:07:16,628 --> 00:07:18,446 That's just as big a commitment. 207 00:07:18,497 --> 00:07:19,797 Oh, baby. 208 00:07:19,882 --> 00:07:21,282 What do I put you down for, bro hombre? 209 00:07:21,350 --> 00:07:22,784 Yes. 210 00:07:22,851 --> 00:07:24,052 - All right! - Yes, I'll do it. 211 00:07:24,119 --> 00:07:25,386 Okay, thank you so much. 212 00:07:25,454 --> 00:07:26,504 It's gonna be awesome. 213 00:07:26,588 --> 00:07:28,122 - And if I flake, I flake. - What? 214 00:07:28,190 --> 00:07:30,641 Kevin, you open it up. Yep. 215 00:07:30,726 --> 00:07:31,826 Ryan, you come in 216 00:07:31,894 --> 00:07:33,061 with your small biz expertise, right? 217 00:07:33,128 --> 00:07:37,632 And then creed, guest speaker extraordinaire. 218 00:07:37,699 --> 00:07:41,635 And then I come in and just close all the sales and stuff. 219 00:07:41,687 --> 00:07:43,488 Um, okay, here we go. 220 00:07:43,572 --> 00:07:45,273 One, two, three! 221 00:07:45,340 --> 00:07:46,991 - Go. - Creed! 222 00:07:51,841 --> 00:07:55,201 Welcome everybody. Awesome to see you guys. My name's Andy Bernard, 223 00:07:55,269 --> 00:07:56,936 but you can call me the nard dog. 224 00:07:56,987 --> 00:07:58,988 Hi, nard dog. I'm Lu Peachem. 225 00:07:59,073 --> 00:08:00,406 Let's get things started, shall we? 226 00:08:00,474 --> 00:08:01,608 You guys ready to hear 227 00:08:01,659 --> 00:08:03,209 from the dunder Mifflin business experts? 228 00:08:04,695 --> 00:08:06,546 Good. Well, as you can see on your program, 229 00:08:06,614 --> 00:08:08,248 first up is a speech called, 230 00:08:08,315 --> 00:08:09,549 "don't just dream it, do it." 231 00:08:09,617 --> 00:08:13,520 Yes! Please give a big hand to Mr. Kevin Malone. 232 00:08:13,587 --> 00:08:15,788 All aboard! 233 00:08:31,071 --> 00:08:32,004 Three, four, five. 234 00:08:47,404 --> 00:08:48,521 Yes! 235 00:08:51,492 --> 00:08:53,493 There are some people who have charm 236 00:08:53,561 --> 00:08:55,562 and some people who don't. 237 00:08:55,629 --> 00:08:58,731 Guess which type I am. 238 00:08:58,799 --> 00:09:01,167 Charm type. 239 00:09:01,235 --> 00:09:04,170 Dream...Big. 240 00:09:04,238 --> 00:09:05,871 Right? 241 00:09:05,923 --> 00:09:09,142 So what I want you to do 242 00:09:09,210 --> 00:09:13,429 is dream the biggest that you c...An. 243 00:09:19,653 --> 00:09:22,522 And then double it! 244 00:09:30,965 --> 00:09:32,081 Are you okay? 245 00:09:32,166 --> 00:09:34,200 No. Yes! 246 00:09:34,268 --> 00:09:35,335 - Here. - N... 247 00:09:35,402 --> 00:09:36,669 I'm fine. 248 00:09:36,737 --> 00:09:40,273 Okay, from here now. 249 00:09:40,341 --> 00:09:43,142 The first lesson that I'm gonna teach you, 250 00:09:43,210 --> 00:09:46,429 right, is about finding success. 251 00:09:46,513 --> 00:09:50,416 And the key to finding success is to picture a winner. 252 00:10:02,263 --> 00:10:05,965 Okay, so then, what are you picturing right now, 253 00:10:06,033 --> 00:10:08,001 right this second? 254 00:10:08,068 --> 00:10:12,238 'Cause the universe is yours, people. 255 00:10:12,289 --> 00:10:15,325 Get out of the way. 256 00:10:20,547 --> 00:10:22,782 I'm really excited to introduce you guys 257 00:10:22,833 --> 00:10:24,300 to Ryan Howard. 258 00:10:24,385 --> 00:10:26,636 He has achieved a great deal in the last... 259 00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:28,504 but perhaps no achievement is greater 260 00:10:28,589 --> 00:10:30,757 than his on-again, off-again girlfriend. 261 00:10:30,808 --> 00:10:32,508 What are you... 262 00:10:32,593 --> 00:10:33,593 who am I? 263 00:10:33,661 --> 00:10:35,561 I'm Kelly Kapoor, 264 00:10:35,629 --> 00:10:37,513 the business bitch. 265 00:10:37,598 --> 00:10:39,098 It is important to brand yourself, 266 00:10:39,166 --> 00:10:40,733 so I have a couple of things in the works. 267 00:10:40,801 --> 00:10:41,734 The business bitch, 268 00:10:41,802 --> 00:10:42,869 the diet bitch, 269 00:10:42,936 --> 00:10:43,903 the shopping bitch, 270 00:10:43,970 --> 00:10:45,004 the etiquette bitch. 271 00:10:45,072 --> 00:10:46,406 I could sit here, 272 00:10:46,473 --> 00:10:48,641 and I could tell you the ten secrets of business, 273 00:10:48,692 --> 00:10:50,026 and you would have a great time, 274 00:10:50,110 --> 00:10:51,411 and you would learn a lot. 275 00:10:51,478 --> 00:10:52,829 But who better to tell you 276 00:10:52,913 --> 00:10:57,116 than the Yale university adjunct Professor in management, 277 00:10:57,184 --> 00:10:59,502 Professor Scott Powell, 278 00:10:59,586 --> 00:11:02,188 who I have on my BlackBerry. 279 00:11:03,290 --> 00:11:04,457 It's ringing. 280 00:11:04,525 --> 00:11:07,960 Hey, Kelly Kapoor. 281 00:11:08,028 --> 00:11:10,863 What a delicious surprise. 282 00:11:10,931 --> 00:11:13,900 Professor Powell, you are on speakerphone. 283 00:11:13,967 --> 00:11:16,019 Uh, why? 284 00:11:16,103 --> 00:11:17,470 Do you think you could tell us 285 00:11:17,521 --> 00:11:19,055 the ten secrets of business? 286 00:11:19,139 --> 00:11:22,141 Um, there aren't really ten secrets. 287 00:11:22,209 --> 00:11:23,776 Come on, Scott, please. It's me. 288 00:11:23,844 --> 00:11:25,395 Um, all right. 289 00:11:25,479 --> 00:11:28,414 Well, um, 290 00:11:28,482 --> 00:11:31,684 I guess know your market would be key. 291 00:11:31,735 --> 00:11:33,786 Practice fiscal discipline. 292 00:11:33,854 --> 00:11:35,221 - Mm-hmm. 293 00:11:35,289 --> 00:11:37,590 That brilliant little bitch. 294 00:11:37,658 --> 00:11:40,059 A little treat for our old friend, Gabe. 295 00:11:40,127 --> 00:11:42,412 Put that "q" right there. 296 00:11:42,496 --> 00:11:43,996 Wait. Why? 297 00:11:44,048 --> 00:11:45,565 Put the "q" there, sweetie. 298 00:11:45,632 --> 00:11:48,701 - I think there's better... - Put the "q" there! 299 00:11:52,005 --> 00:11:53,890 Sorry I yelled. 300 00:11:53,974 --> 00:11:56,409 You could have just told us what you were thinking. 301 00:11:56,477 --> 00:11:57,844 There's no theater in that. 302 00:11:57,895 --> 00:11:59,345 There's no yelling in that, either. 303 00:11:59,396 --> 00:12:00,380 Well... 304 00:12:00,447 --> 00:12:02,215 What do you do in your free time? 305 00:12:02,282 --> 00:12:03,399 Practice Olympics. 306 00:12:03,484 --> 00:12:05,284 Mmm. Do you like movies? 307 00:12:05,352 --> 00:12:09,122 I like the musical grease, 308 00:12:09,189 --> 00:12:13,259 or as we call it "home." 309 00:12:13,327 --> 00:12:15,611 We have to try this out on somebody. 310 00:12:17,581 --> 00:12:18,698 Hello. 311 00:12:18,766 --> 00:12:20,199 Look, you want to order something? 312 00:12:20,267 --> 00:12:23,136 She will have a greekaccino. 313 00:12:23,203 --> 00:12:25,304 I don't know what that is. 314 00:12:25,372 --> 00:12:26,589 It... 315 00:12:26,673 --> 00:12:29,074 It's a very strong coffee 316 00:12:29,126 --> 00:12:31,544 with milk from a goat. 317 00:12:31,612 --> 00:12:34,580 I can't believe-ee. 318 00:12:34,631 --> 00:12:35,848 It's a miracle. 319 00:12:35,916 --> 00:12:37,550 She can talk! 320 00:12:37,618 --> 00:12:39,419 No more brain damage. 321 00:12:39,486 --> 00:12:41,087 No more brain damage! 322 00:12:42,689 --> 00:12:46,092 I don't know. 323 00:12:46,160 --> 00:12:47,360 Ladies and gentlemen, 324 00:12:47,427 --> 00:12:50,229 our special guest speaker will provoke you. 325 00:12:50,297 --> 00:12:53,099 He will inspire you. 326 00:12:53,167 --> 00:12:55,701 He is... 327 00:12:55,769 --> 00:12:57,236 Creed Bratton. 328 00:12:59,289 --> 00:13:02,842 Two eyes, two ears, 329 00:13:02,910 --> 00:13:05,077 a chin, a mouth, 330 00:13:05,145 --> 00:13:08,414 ten fingers, two nipples. 331 00:13:08,465 --> 00:13:11,050 A butt, two kneecaps, a penis. 332 00:13:11,118 --> 00:13:13,486 I have just described to you 333 00:13:13,554 --> 00:13:15,588 the loch ness monster. 334 00:13:15,639 --> 00:13:18,457 And the reward for its capture? 335 00:13:18,509 --> 00:13:21,461 All the riches in Scotland. 336 00:13:21,528 --> 00:13:23,563 So I have one question: 337 00:13:23,630 --> 00:13:25,364 Why are you here? 338 00:13:28,302 --> 00:13:29,602 Okay! 339 00:13:29,653 --> 00:13:31,571 All right, ladies and gentlemen, 340 00:13:31,638 --> 00:13:35,441 it is now time for the rarest of things, 341 00:13:35,492 --> 00:13:36,859 an actual free lunch. 342 00:13:36,944 --> 00:13:39,028 There's sandwiches in the back. Certainly help yourselves. 343 00:13:39,112 --> 00:13:40,146 We'll meet back up in an hour. 344 00:13:40,214 --> 00:13:41,280 I picked out our movie. 345 00:13:41,331 --> 00:13:42,732 It's called suspiria. 346 00:13:42,766 --> 00:13:43,933 It pushes all the boundaries. 347 00:13:44,017 --> 00:13:45,218 All your preconceived notions 348 00:13:45,269 --> 00:13:47,053 about what horror can be come crashing down. 349 00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:48,888 - When I win... - Ooh. 350 00:13:48,939 --> 00:13:50,523 - We're gonna watch wall-e, 351 00:13:50,591 --> 00:13:53,960 where all the boundaries of color are pushed. 352 00:13:54,027 --> 00:13:55,528 It is hard to explain 353 00:13:55,596 --> 00:13:57,363 why Erin is doing so well today. 354 00:13:57,431 --> 00:13:58,564 The only thing I can think 355 00:13:58,632 --> 00:14:00,132 is Erin is living out 356 00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:03,169 some slumdog millionaire scenario, 357 00:14:03,237 --> 00:14:05,004 where every word she's playing 358 00:14:05,072 --> 00:14:09,208 has a connection to her orphan past. 359 00:14:09,276 --> 00:14:11,110 It's possible. 360 00:14:14,882 --> 00:14:17,550 So what's your crazy business pipe dream? 361 00:14:17,617 --> 00:14:19,618 Well, I started my own golf supply company. 362 00:14:19,670 --> 00:14:20,920 Really? 363 00:14:20,988 --> 00:14:22,922 It's taken off faster than I expected, 364 00:14:22,973 --> 00:14:25,491 so I came here to learn about creating manageable growth. 365 00:14:28,495 --> 00:14:30,296 - Phyllis? - Hmm? 366 00:14:30,347 --> 00:14:32,565 Some of these people are for real. 367 00:14:34,834 --> 00:14:37,019 Hey, friend. How's it going? 368 00:14:37,104 --> 00:14:38,804 Oh, you know what? Let me steep that for you. 369 00:14:41,108 --> 00:14:42,024 Thank you. 370 00:14:42,109 --> 00:14:43,075 Hey, you know what? 371 00:14:43,143 --> 00:14:45,027 Good news. We're back in. 372 00:14:45,112 --> 00:14:46,979 Let's go sell some paper, buddy. Huh? 373 00:14:47,030 --> 00:14:48,030 Really? 374 00:14:48,115 --> 00:14:50,516 Ahem! 375 00:14:50,567 --> 00:14:53,852 - Excuse me. - I got it. I got it. 376 00:14:53,904 --> 00:14:56,289 Hey, do you need a lozenge? 377 00:14:56,356 --> 00:14:57,856 They're a bunch a jackals. 378 00:14:57,908 --> 00:14:59,191 What? 379 00:14:59,243 --> 00:15:00,793 They left you in the lurch, 380 00:15:00,860 --> 00:15:02,295 and if they want to jump in, 381 00:15:02,362 --> 00:15:04,881 it means you're almost there. 382 00:15:04,965 --> 00:15:06,666 You did this. 383 00:15:06,717 --> 00:15:08,100 Bring it home. 384 00:15:16,042 --> 00:15:17,476 Let me tell you what you can do 385 00:15:17,544 --> 00:15:19,245 with your offer to help. 386 00:15:19,313 --> 00:15:21,213 You can table it and offer it up another time. 387 00:15:21,265 --> 00:15:23,048 Just know that I really appreciate the gesture. 388 00:15:24,985 --> 00:15:27,086 Hi. Hope you enjoyed your lunch. 389 00:15:27,154 --> 00:15:29,188 Welcome back. 390 00:15:29,239 --> 00:15:31,757 Ooh. Well, hello. 391 00:15:31,825 --> 00:15:33,559 Welcome to the seminar. 392 00:15:33,610 --> 00:15:35,778 Hey, man. What's goin' on? 393 00:15:35,862 --> 00:15:37,079 You're gonna blow it. 394 00:15:37,164 --> 00:15:38,614 Maybe. 395 00:15:38,699 --> 00:15:40,499 Only maybe. 396 00:15:46,478 --> 00:15:48,846 I got it. 397 00:15:48,913 --> 00:15:50,580 Oscar, wait. I think the victory 398 00:15:50,632 --> 00:15:51,748 would be more meaningful 399 00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:54,151 if Erin puts the last word in herself. 400 00:15:56,020 --> 00:15:57,054 Yes, Pam. 401 00:15:57,122 --> 00:15:58,422 Yes, most definitely. 402 00:15:58,490 --> 00:15:59,422 Yes. Yes. 403 00:15:59,474 --> 00:16:00,774 Ah! No 404 00:16:03,812 --> 00:16:06,780 Although I must say, I will have apoplexy 405 00:16:06,865 --> 00:16:08,532 if you lose. 406 00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:09,733 Do you understand? 407 00:16:09,801 --> 00:16:12,402 Apoplexy is what I will have. 408 00:16:12,454 --> 00:16:14,071 Apoplexy. 409 00:16:14,122 --> 00:16:16,140 - Yes. - Got it. 410 00:16:20,378 --> 00:16:22,079 Oh, Oscar. 411 00:16:22,130 --> 00:16:24,081 Oscar? 412 00:16:24,149 --> 00:16:26,116 I played "ape." 413 00:16:28,553 --> 00:16:30,587 I just want to make a point to that last caller. 414 00:16:30,655 --> 00:16:31,989 I disagree. 415 00:16:32,056 --> 00:16:33,791 I don't think it is the running game at all. 416 00:16:33,858 --> 00:16:36,326 I think we do have to make a few moves in this off-season. 417 00:16:36,394 --> 00:16:37,377 Wow! 418 00:16:37,445 --> 00:16:39,629 What a day, right? 419 00:16:39,681 --> 00:16:41,765 Guess you guys are probably ready to go. 420 00:16:41,833 --> 00:16:43,784 And you got my business card, so... 421 00:16:43,852 --> 00:16:45,936 Dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. 422 00:16:45,987 --> 00:16:47,521 You know, I like you. 423 00:16:47,605 --> 00:16:50,190 I'm going to give you my secret gyro recipe. 424 00:16:50,275 --> 00:16:51,492 Come out here 425 00:16:51,576 --> 00:16:53,443 since it's a secret, and I'll tell you. 426 00:16:55,446 --> 00:16:57,281 All right, you have to close right now. 427 00:16:57,332 --> 00:16:58,615 Yeah, I mean, I'm getting to it. 428 00:16:58,666 --> 00:17:00,017 No, you're not. You're getting past it. 429 00:17:00,084 --> 00:17:01,251 You have to close. You can do it. 430 00:17:01,319 --> 00:17:02,286 Yeah, yeah. 431 00:17:02,337 --> 00:17:03,854 Andy, what's the problem? 432 00:17:03,922 --> 00:17:05,923 This is hard for me. I'm a nice guy. 433 00:17:05,990 --> 00:17:08,425 You know, Kelly and creed, Kevin, 434 00:17:08,492 --> 00:17:10,160 they believe in you. 435 00:17:10,211 --> 00:17:11,962 Don't let them down. 436 00:17:12,030 --> 00:17:14,331 Don't let yourself down, Andy. 437 00:17:14,382 --> 00:17:15,666 I'm gonna go back in. 438 00:17:15,733 --> 00:17:18,035 I'm going to stall them for a little bit. 439 00:17:18,102 --> 00:17:19,669 I want you to get your head together, 440 00:17:19,721 --> 00:17:20,771 and then come back in. 441 00:17:20,839 --> 00:17:22,306 I want you to close. 442 00:17:22,357 --> 00:17:26,276 What is taking that guy so long? 443 00:17:27,779 --> 00:17:28,979 Psst. 444 00:17:34,452 --> 00:17:35,986 You think this thing's gonna go much longer? 445 00:17:36,037 --> 00:17:37,871 I don't know. They're still in there. 446 00:17:37,956 --> 00:17:38,956 Ohh! Good-bye. 447 00:17:39,023 --> 00:17:41,191 Stop. 448 00:17:41,242 --> 00:17:42,209 Out with it. 449 00:17:42,293 --> 00:17:43,693 Here's the story. 450 00:17:43,745 --> 00:17:45,212 That guy in there 451 00:17:45,296 --> 00:17:48,198 is Jim's childhood friend, tom. 452 00:17:48,249 --> 00:17:49,366 Tom Witochkin. 453 00:17:49,417 --> 00:17:50,968 One of my best buddies, actually. 454 00:17:51,035 --> 00:17:52,936 And when they were both in the third grade, 455 00:17:53,004 --> 00:17:55,138 Jim was placed in the top reading group. 456 00:17:55,206 --> 00:17:57,074 I was blue group, so it was second from the top. 457 00:17:57,141 --> 00:17:59,576 - And tom... - Was in green group. 458 00:17:59,644 --> 00:18:01,545 And Jim's mom suggested 459 00:18:01,613 --> 00:18:03,931 that Jim spend time hanging with the kids 460 00:18:04,015 --> 00:18:05,282 in his reading group, 461 00:18:05,350 --> 00:18:07,751 because she thought that they would be a good influence. 462 00:18:07,819 --> 00:18:09,486 And that's what I told him. 463 00:18:09,553 --> 00:18:10,887 Right. 464 00:18:10,939 --> 00:18:12,389 But how'd you say it? 465 00:18:14,559 --> 00:18:17,160 "My mom thinks you're too dumb to hang out with." 466 00:18:17,228 --> 00:18:20,163 Okay, who would like to purchase 467 00:18:20,231 --> 00:18:23,233 this small business package from me right now? 468 00:18:24,736 --> 00:18:26,703 Yes, we got one. 469 00:18:26,754 --> 00:18:29,456 Okay, the snowball is rolling. 470 00:18:29,540 --> 00:18:30,874 Who else? 471 00:18:33,628 --> 00:18:35,212 You can put it off for a couple of days, 472 00:18:35,263 --> 00:18:37,147 but I guarantee you, 473 00:18:37,215 --> 00:18:39,600 eventually you're gonna realize 474 00:18:39,684 --> 00:18:41,018 you need this. 475 00:18:41,085 --> 00:18:44,521 So the only thing that's gonna be different 476 00:18:44,588 --> 00:18:46,940 is you'll be a couple of days behind 477 00:18:47,025 --> 00:18:51,428 where you would be if you bought this from me right now. 478 00:18:52,763 --> 00:18:54,364 So who's gonna buy one right now? 479 00:18:54,432 --> 00:18:55,899 I'll take one. 480 00:18:55,967 --> 00:18:57,734 Yes! Awesome! 481 00:18:57,785 --> 00:19:00,103 All right, anyone else? 482 00:19:02,323 --> 00:19:03,540 Sold! 483 00:19:03,607 --> 00:19:04,808 Anybody else? 484 00:19:04,876 --> 00:19:06,576 Yes! All right! 485 00:19:06,628 --> 00:19:08,778 - Yeah, bitch. - Good choice. 486 00:19:08,830 --> 00:19:11,081 The rest of you are dead to me. 487 00:19:11,149 --> 00:19:12,916 You made the stupidest decisions of your life. 488 00:19:12,984 --> 00:19:14,784 No, no, no. 489 00:19:14,836 --> 00:19:16,336 But it was a pleasure meeting you, 490 00:19:16,421 --> 00:19:17,721 and you've got my information, 491 00:19:17,788 --> 00:19:19,089 so feel free to call anytime. 492 00:19:23,645 --> 00:19:25,095 Hey, you think it's cool if I grab a soda? 493 00:19:25,146 --> 00:19:26,296 Yeah. Whoa. 494 00:19:26,347 --> 00:19:27,831 Yep, absolutely, go ahead. 495 00:19:27,899 --> 00:19:29,132 Hey. 496 00:19:29,183 --> 00:19:31,801 Hey. 497 00:19:31,853 --> 00:19:33,136 How's it goin'? 498 00:19:33,187 --> 00:19:34,805 - Pretty good. - It's been a while. 499 00:19:34,872 --> 00:19:36,740 It has been, yeah. 500 00:19:36,808 --> 00:19:38,108 So you work here, huh? 501 00:19:38,159 --> 00:19:39,142 Sales. 502 00:19:39,193 --> 00:19:40,344 Must be a front 503 00:19:40,411 --> 00:19:42,312 for some kind of famous laboratory. 504 00:19:43,414 --> 00:19:45,082 'Cause you're so smart. 505 00:19:45,149 --> 00:19:47,834 Oh, man. You remember that, huh? 506 00:19:47,919 --> 00:19:49,052 Oh, barely. 507 00:19:49,120 --> 00:19:50,120 I'm so dumb, 508 00:19:50,188 --> 00:19:51,838 you know, stuff goes in, stuff goes out. 509 00:19:51,923 --> 00:19:53,206 Not like you probably remember 510 00:19:53,291 --> 00:19:54,541 every paper sale you ever made. 511 00:19:54,625 --> 00:19:56,626 Paper salesman genius. 512 00:19:59,330 --> 00:20:00,630 - All right, good catch-up. 513 00:20:00,682 --> 00:20:02,516 - Yeah. - See ya. 514 00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:04,217 Where's your jetpack, Zuckerberg? 515 00:20:06,270 --> 00:20:07,888 Andy. 516 00:20:09,073 --> 00:20:10,974 I didn't think you had it in ya. 517 00:20:11,042 --> 00:20:12,876 Well, I guess when you looked in me, 518 00:20:12,944 --> 00:20:14,728 you forgot about my balls. 519 00:20:14,812 --> 00:20:16,346 They're on the outside. 520 00:20:17,565 --> 00:20:18,815 Don't know how you missed 'em. 521 00:20:20,234 --> 00:20:21,684 Wonderful seminar! 522 00:20:21,736 --> 00:20:22,686 Almost as good 523 00:20:22,754 --> 00:20:25,855 as the day when we first met. 524 00:20:25,907 --> 00:20:28,692 You are the love of my life. 525 00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:31,428 Come to me, necropolis. 526 00:20:31,496 --> 00:20:33,413 Put your lips on my lips. 527 00:20:33,498 --> 00:20:35,632 Come on. 528 00:20:35,700 --> 00:20:37,700 Michael, I should get back to work. 529 00:20:37,752 --> 00:20:39,002 What? Come on. 530 00:20:39,053 --> 00:20:40,921 It's time for grapes. 531 00:20:43,941 --> 00:20:45,308 Real fun day. 532 00:20:48,633 --> 00:20:50,250 - So, I won. - I know. 533 00:20:50,334 --> 00:20:51,801 You get to pick. 534 00:20:51,869 --> 00:20:54,204 Well, that's actually what I came to talk to you about. 535 00:20:54,272 --> 00:20:55,772 I know how much you want to watch wall-e. 536 00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:57,240 Yes? 537 00:20:57,308 --> 00:20:59,634 So I got us a compromise. 538 00:20:59,635 --> 00:21:02,758 This movie is called hardware, it tells the story of a killer 539 00:21:02,974 --> 00:21:04,614 combat robot, just like wall-e 540 00:21:04,830 --> 00:21:07,302 that the government invented to destroy humans. 541 00:21:07,337 --> 00:21:09,898 It's some of what you like and some of what I like. 542 00:21:09,933 --> 00:21:13,917 I heard you talked about movies before 543 00:21:13,918 --> 00:21:17,219 **** 544 00:21:17,220 --> 00:21:19,290 there's a Shrek 2? 545 00:21:19,291 --> 00:21:22,158 Oh, yeah. 546 00:21:22,159 --> 00:21:23,685 Nice guy. 547 00:21:23,686 --> 00:21:24,686 Sync by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com