1 00:00:05,195 --> 00:00:06,916 Late every day this week. 2 00:00:07,051 --> 00:00:08,339 We signed Ceecee for the staycare, 3 00:00:08,428 --> 00:00:09,722 it's on the other side of town. 4 00:00:09,818 --> 00:00:10,739 The traffic... 5 00:00:10,852 --> 00:00:12,150 - Why didn't I think of this before? 6 00:00:12,271 --> 00:00:13,638 Did you know that there is a daycare center 7 00:00:13,705 --> 00:00:16,073 Opening right here in this building? 8 00:00:16,141 --> 00:00:17,207 - Is there really? 9 00:00:17,275 --> 00:00:18,408 - Now that I own the building, 10 00:00:18,476 --> 00:00:20,178 I'm looking for new sources of revenue. 11 00:00:20,245 --> 00:00:22,865 And a daycare center? 12 00:00:27,776 --> 00:00:28,982 Well, I guess it's not an evil idea, 13 00:00:29,050 --> 00:00:31,360 It's just a regular idea, but there's no 14 00:00:31,428 --> 00:00:34,579 Good laugh for a regular idea. 15 00:00:34,647 --> 00:00:36,856 Welcome to the sesame Avenue daycare center 16 00:00:36,924 --> 00:00:38,830 For infants and toddlers. 17 00:00:42,913 --> 00:00:44,449 - You remember my cousin Mose? 18 00:00:44,517 --> 00:00:45,856 - Welcome, children. 19 00:00:45,923 --> 00:00:47,226 - Were you painting in the dark? 20 00:00:47,294 --> 00:00:49,704 - Wait, is this your place, Dwight? 21 00:00:49,772 --> 00:00:52,276 - Oh, no, no, I like to think of it as the kids' place. 22 00:00:52,344 --> 00:00:53,312 Would you like a tour? 23 00:00:53,380 --> 00:00:54,516 - I don't think we really need... 24 00:00:54,586 --> 00:00:56,022 - Oh, let's take the tour, Pam. 25 00:00:56,090 --> 00:00:58,162 - Yeah. - Come on. 26 00:00:58,230 --> 00:00:59,298 Here is the language skills 27 00:00:59,365 --> 00:01:01,905 And cognitive development area. 28 00:01:01,972 --> 00:01:04,243 These are English, uh, letters. 29 00:01:04,311 --> 00:01:06,548 I see you found our magical toy box, Jim. 30 00:01:06,618 --> 00:01:08,722 - These are actually forks and knives from the break room. 31 00:01:08,790 --> 00:01:11,630 - Jim, to you and me, maybe. But, come on. 32 00:01:11,698 --> 00:01:14,102 To a child's imagination that's mister fork, 33 00:01:14,170 --> 00:01:15,873 And lieutenant knife, and miss fork. 34 00:01:15,941 --> 00:01:17,745 - And a soy sauce packet. 35 00:01:20,885 --> 00:01:21,818 That shouldn't have been in there. 36 00:01:21,886 --> 00:01:22,818 I'm embarrassed. 37 00:01:22,886 --> 00:01:24,052 - Don't beat yourself up. 38 00:01:24,119 --> 00:01:26,521 - We come fully equipped with a restroom, 39 00:01:26,588 --> 00:01:29,291 Feeding trough, play bucket, 40 00:01:29,359 --> 00:01:30,993 And room for a plant, in success. 41 00:01:31,061 --> 00:01:32,229 - Who will be watching the children? 42 00:01:32,296 --> 00:01:33,364 - No one. The door locks from the outside. 43 00:01:33,432 --> 00:01:34,800 Escape is impossible. 44 00:01:34,868 --> 00:01:36,737 - Prove it. 45 00:01:36,805 --> 00:01:38,539 - What...No. - We're gonna head outside. 46 00:01:38,607 --> 00:01:39,541 Just give it a whirl. 47 00:01:39,609 --> 00:01:41,311 I just wanna see how it works. 48 00:01:41,379 --> 00:01:42,480 - Oh, no, no, no... I... - but I'll tell you this. 49 00:01:42,547 --> 00:01:43,983 If this works out, 50 00:01:44,051 --> 00:01:45,752 I think we're looking real good. 51 00:01:45,820 --> 00:01:48,190 - I promise you, that door locks. 52 00:01:52,500 --> 00:02:00,546 Sync by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 53 00:02:26,786 --> 00:02:27,753 - What's something you did that... 54 00:02:27,821 --> 00:02:28,988 - This is the worst! 55 00:02:29,056 --> 00:02:31,458 You are the worst. I hate looking at your face. 56 00:02:31,526 --> 00:02:32,828 I wanna smash it! 57 00:02:32,896 --> 00:02:33,829 Okay, you know what? 58 00:02:33,897 --> 00:02:35,098 I made a mistake. 59 00:02:35,166 --> 00:02:36,767 I committed corporate punishment. 60 00:02:36,835 --> 00:02:38,536 My bad. 61 00:02:38,603 --> 00:02:41,874 It's over, it's done. 62 00:02:41,942 --> 00:02:45,109 But, my punishment is, um, 63 00:02:45,177 --> 00:02:47,713 Worse than hell. 64 00:02:47,780 --> 00:02:50,349 - Michael's been assigned six hours of mandatory counseling 65 00:02:50,417 --> 00:02:51,551 With a trained professional. 66 00:02:51,619 --> 00:02:54,021 I actually have a degree in social work. 67 00:02:54,089 --> 00:02:55,156 I mean, I know a lot of people 68 00:02:55,224 --> 00:02:57,393 Would just ask a few standard questions 69 00:02:57,461 --> 00:02:59,429 And tick off a few boxes, 70 00:02:59,497 --> 00:03:02,198 But I've got a chance to do some good here. 71 00:03:02,266 --> 00:03:05,235 - I know what you wanna ask me. 72 00:03:05,303 --> 00:03:06,737 "did your mom ever see you naked?" 73 00:03:06,805 --> 00:03:09,073 - We can do this with more privacy. 74 00:03:09,141 --> 00:03:10,642 - So you can molest me? 75 00:03:10,710 --> 00:03:12,411 Oh, okay. I don't think so. 76 00:03:12,479 --> 00:03:14,181 We're gonna leave the blinds open, 77 00:03:14,248 --> 00:03:15,349 So everybody can see 78 00:03:15,416 --> 00:03:18,019 What a big failure you are. 79 00:03:20,858 --> 00:03:22,392 That's the key. 80 00:03:23,895 --> 00:03:26,230 - Boycott the steamtown mall! 81 00:03:26,298 --> 00:03:27,631 Everyone, you heard me. 82 00:03:27,699 --> 00:03:30,668 Cancel all your business with the steamtown mall! 83 00:03:30,735 --> 00:03:32,902 - The mall itself, or the stores in the mall? 84 00:03:32,970 --> 00:03:33,937 - All of it! 85 00:03:34,005 --> 00:03:35,138 The mall, the stores, the kiosks. 86 00:03:35,206 --> 00:03:36,708 - America's one big mall. 87 00:03:36,775 --> 00:03:37,809 - Did something happen, Dwight? 88 00:03:37,877 --> 00:03:40,012 - Yeah, something happened. Oh, yeah. 89 00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:41,480 Something happened, Jim. 90 00:03:41,548 --> 00:03:42,648 - Well, tell us what it is. 91 00:03:42,716 --> 00:03:44,484 I mean, it might help to get some context 92 00:03:44,552 --> 00:03:45,652 So we can get on board. 93 00:03:45,720 --> 00:03:48,188 - You don't wanna know. 94 00:03:48,256 --> 00:03:49,790 - I'd like you to imagine a place 95 00:03:49,858 --> 00:03:51,459 Where you feel very peaceful. 96 00:03:51,527 --> 00:03:54,863 For me, it's the walk from the yogurt shop 97 00:03:54,931 --> 00:03:55,998 To my car, after I drop 98 00:03:56,066 --> 00:03:59,536 My daughter off on Sunday afternoons. 99 00:04:02,808 --> 00:04:05,310 - I... I'm glad Michael's getting help. 100 00:04:05,378 --> 00:04:08,047 He has a lot of issues, and he's stupid. 101 00:04:08,115 --> 00:04:09,616 - Look, I'm not gonna tell you 102 00:04:09,684 --> 00:04:13,219 That we have lower prices. 103 00:04:13,287 --> 00:04:17,190 Is price something that is important to you? 104 00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:20,591 Okay, well, let me know if anything changes. 105 00:04:24,461 --> 00:04:26,629 - Pam? 106 00:04:26,696 --> 00:04:28,530 - I can't do this. 107 00:04:28,598 --> 00:04:33,830 I don't have this sales gene or whatever it is. 108 00:04:33,898 --> 00:04:35,632 Tell me everything's gonna be okay. 109 00:04:35,700 --> 00:04:39,001 - Everything's gonna be okay. 110 00:04:39,069 --> 00:04:41,303 - Tell me I'm good at sales. 111 00:04:41,371 --> 00:04:44,873 - You're good... you're good at sales. 112 00:04:44,941 --> 00:04:46,575 - The unfair thing about working in sales 113 00:04:46,642 --> 00:04:49,176 Is that your salary is almost all commission. 114 00:04:49,244 --> 00:04:50,444 So if you suck at sales, 115 00:04:50,512 --> 00:04:54,414 You make almost no money. 116 00:04:55,816 --> 00:04:58,384 I guess that's fair. 117 00:04:58,452 --> 00:05:00,519 - Dwight. - What? 118 00:05:00,587 --> 00:05:03,823 - Did you call all my clients at the mall 119 00:05:03,890 --> 00:05:07,025 And cancel all my business 120 00:05:07,093 --> 00:05:09,694 While using the "f" word? 121 00:05:09,762 --> 00:05:11,095 - Yes, I did. 122 00:05:11,163 --> 00:05:13,931 And I'm gonna do the same with all of your clients. 123 00:05:13,998 --> 00:05:15,332 - No, you will not. 124 00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:18,134 - Oh, yes, I will. That mall is corrupt. 125 00:05:18,201 --> 00:05:19,702 Okay, they're appearancist! 126 00:05:19,769 --> 00:05:21,670 - Okay, Dwight, we can't do that. 127 00:05:21,738 --> 00:05:23,439 So why don't you just tell us what happened? 128 00:05:23,507 --> 00:05:24,607 - Yeah. What happened, Dwight? 129 00:05:24,675 --> 00:05:27,176 - Okay? 130 00:05:28,779 --> 00:05:31,581 - You guys know me, you know that I'm... 131 00:05:31,649 --> 00:05:33,249 Not one for fancy things. 132 00:05:33,317 --> 00:05:34,350 But there was this one thing. 133 00:05:34,417 --> 00:05:36,384 It was in a fancy store, 134 00:05:36,452 --> 00:05:37,618 And it caught the corner of my eye 135 00:05:37,686 --> 00:05:40,154 When I took Mose down to the mall 136 00:05:40,222 --> 00:05:42,056 To get his blood pressure at the rite aid. 137 00:05:42,124 --> 00:05:43,558 And I thought, you know, 138 00:05:43,625 --> 00:05:45,293 Maybe I deserve this. 139 00:05:45,360 --> 00:05:47,962 You know, I had a great crop yield this fall. 140 00:05:48,030 --> 00:05:49,430 - So what happened? 141 00:05:49,497 --> 00:05:51,065 - I went to the store and I pressed the buzzer, 142 00:05:51,132 --> 00:05:54,133 And they looked right at me, and then they looked away. 143 00:05:54,201 --> 00:05:55,667 And then I pressed the buzzer again, 144 00:05:55,734 --> 00:05:58,402 And they started taking pictures of me 145 00:05:58,469 --> 00:06:00,536 With their mobile phones. 146 00:06:00,604 --> 00:06:03,871 I guess I'm not the kind of guy that's good enough 147 00:06:03,938 --> 00:06:05,471 For precious heirlooms. 148 00:06:05,539 --> 00:06:06,572 - You know what, Dwight? 149 00:06:06,639 --> 00:06:07,972 You need to go back there, and you need to 150 00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:09,541 Pretty woman their asses. 151 00:06:09,608 --> 00:06:10,708 - We should start our own mall. 152 00:06:10,776 --> 00:06:11,776 - Yeah! 153 00:06:11,843 --> 00:06:12,943 - Wait, wait, wait. 154 00:06:13,011 --> 00:06:14,011 Actually, that's a really good idea, Kelly. 155 00:06:14,079 --> 00:06:15,412 - What did I say? 156 00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:18,248 I talk a lot, so I've learned to just tune myself out. 157 00:06:18,315 --> 00:06:19,615 - Dwight, how about this? 158 00:06:19,683 --> 00:06:20,783 Instead of a boycott, 159 00:06:20,851 --> 00:06:23,886 You and I, together, go down to that store 160 00:06:23,953 --> 00:06:26,354 And we teach those snobs a lesson. 161 00:06:26,422 --> 00:06:31,258 - No, you and I...And I. 162 00:06:31,326 --> 00:06:34,260 I'm gonna come with you. - Okay. 163 00:06:34,327 --> 00:06:35,894 - Good. All right. 164 00:06:35,962 --> 00:06:37,929 - Did you assume that I would automatically side 165 00:06:37,997 --> 00:06:42,600 With the rich, snobby shop owner? 166 00:06:42,668 --> 00:06:44,670 How about now? 167 00:06:48,207 --> 00:06:49,707 How about now? 168 00:06:52,210 --> 00:06:54,044 How about now? 169 00:06:56,280 --> 00:06:57,613 How about now? 170 00:06:57,680 --> 00:07:00,082 - Uh, what's your favorite flavor of... 171 00:07:00,150 --> 00:07:01,317 - One hour. - What? 172 00:07:01,385 --> 00:07:03,652 - One hour. We've done one hour. 173 00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:05,821 Let's just speed this up. 174 00:07:05,889 --> 00:07:07,323 Okay, keep it moving. 175 00:07:07,390 --> 00:07:08,757 I wanna do all six hours today. 176 00:07:08,825 --> 00:07:10,993 - Okay, I can't count the hour if you don't talk. 177 00:07:11,060 --> 00:07:12,927 - No, no, no...No. 178 00:07:12,995 --> 00:07:14,462 I know my rights, all I had to do 179 00:07:14,530 --> 00:07:16,496 Is sit here for six hours. 180 00:07:16,564 --> 00:07:18,096 Do my time. 181 00:07:18,163 --> 00:07:19,463 - Michael, it's up to me to check off the boxes, 182 00:07:19,531 --> 00:07:20,797 And I can't do that unless I honestly... 183 00:07:20,864 --> 00:07:23,665 - Do you have any idea how angry that is making me? 184 00:07:23,733 --> 00:07:25,301 - Tell me. 185 00:07:25,368 --> 00:07:29,706 I think we might be about to maybe really get somewhere. 186 00:07:29,774 --> 00:07:33,109 - Yes, I will. I will talk all right. 187 00:07:33,177 --> 00:07:34,977 Be careful what you wish for, Toby. 188 00:07:38,113 --> 00:07:40,346 Apparently theres a famous Hollywood movie 189 00:07:40,414 --> 00:07:43,282 From the 1980s... beautiful girl. 190 00:07:43,349 --> 00:07:44,450 - Pretty woman. 191 00:07:44,517 --> 00:07:46,184 - Um, apparently... - Pretty woman. 192 00:07:46,252 --> 00:07:49,253 - It's one of the best revenge stories of all time, 193 00:07:49,321 --> 00:07:53,891 In which this sex worker, who is the protagonist... 194 00:07:53,959 --> 00:07:55,025 That can't be right. 195 00:07:55,093 --> 00:07:56,260 Andy, how does it... - no, no, no. 196 00:07:56,327 --> 00:07:57,461 - What? - I wanna hear you tell it. 197 00:07:57,528 --> 00:08:00,764 - Okay, um, the sex worker is denied service 198 00:08:00,832 --> 00:08:03,434 At a fancy store because she does not look wealthy. 199 00:08:03,501 --> 00:08:06,170 She later returns, dressed in all the trappings 200 00:08:06,238 --> 00:08:08,506 Of extravagant wealth, but instead of shopping... 201 00:08:08,573 --> 00:08:10,041 - Julia Roberts goes in the store, and she's like, 202 00:08:10,108 --> 00:08:11,642 "I was in here yesterday, and you people wouldn't help me." 203 00:08:11,710 --> 00:08:13,443 And the shopgirl goes, "oh." 204 00:08:13,511 --> 00:08:15,345 And then Julia Roberts goes, 205 00:08:15,413 --> 00:08:16,647 "you girls work on commission, right?" 206 00:08:16,714 --> 00:08:18,215 And the girl's like, "yeah." 207 00:08:18,283 --> 00:08:19,249 And Julia Roberts goes... 208 00:08:19,317 --> 00:08:22,885 - "big mistake. Huge." 209 00:08:22,953 --> 00:08:24,853 - I was telling... I was telling that. 210 00:08:24,921 --> 00:08:27,823 - How many paper supplies and ink cartridges to go with that? 211 00:08:27,891 --> 00:08:29,989 Okay, sure. 212 00:08:30,057 --> 00:08:31,056 - Who can I speak to in this office 213 00:08:31,124 --> 00:08:33,057 About saving on window treatments? 214 00:08:33,125 --> 00:08:34,358 - I don't know. 215 00:08:34,426 --> 00:08:37,027 - Is one of you the office administrator? 216 00:08:39,630 --> 00:08:43,033 - I. 217 00:08:43,101 --> 00:08:44,903 I'm the office administrator! 218 00:08:44,971 --> 00:08:46,438 - Can I show you a few samples? 219 00:08:46,506 --> 00:08:48,105 - Uh, we're not interested. 220 00:08:48,173 --> 00:08:50,139 We're not interested at all. 221 00:08:53,341 --> 00:08:54,907 There are a few ways to get promoted. 222 00:08:54,975 --> 00:08:58,211 One is to wait for an opening and apply for it. 223 00:08:58,278 --> 00:09:00,480 That's the main way. 224 00:09:00,547 --> 00:09:02,014 But this could work. 225 00:09:02,082 --> 00:09:04,116 - Toby, can I really tell you anything? 226 00:09:04,184 --> 00:09:05,551 - Of course. 227 00:09:05,618 --> 00:09:07,152 - Well, the other night, 228 00:09:07,220 --> 00:09:09,020 When I was sitting at the table, 229 00:09:09,088 --> 00:09:13,991 Eating my penis... I mean peas. 230 00:09:14,058 --> 00:09:15,326 That was weird. 231 00:09:15,393 --> 00:09:16,627 - All right. - That's weird. 232 00:09:16,695 --> 00:09:18,062 I think it all stems 233 00:09:18,129 --> 00:09:20,297 From the fact that I was... 234 00:09:22,132 --> 00:09:24,600 I was probed. 235 00:09:24,668 --> 00:09:26,001 By an alien life force. 236 00:09:26,069 --> 00:09:28,936 An a.L.F. 237 00:09:29,004 --> 00:09:30,405 Alf. 238 00:09:30,472 --> 00:09:32,306 You know, I might have actually 239 00:09:32,374 --> 00:09:35,144 Been probed by Alf. 240 00:09:35,212 --> 00:09:36,913 You might think he's a puppet, 241 00:09:36,981 --> 00:09:38,947 You never see the lower half, 242 00:09:39,015 --> 00:09:40,281 But there's a lower half. 243 00:09:40,349 --> 00:09:42,349 - Office administrator. 244 00:09:42,417 --> 00:09:44,752 So when did this happen? 245 00:09:44,819 --> 00:09:45,986 - A few months ago. 246 00:09:46,053 --> 00:09:48,788 I was talking to someone at corporate. 247 00:09:48,856 --> 00:09:50,222 - Mm-hmm. - Who isn't there anymore. 248 00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:53,358 And I think the paperwork just got lost in the shuffle. 249 00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:54,893 Can you believe that? 250 00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:56,694 - Typical...Yeah, totally. Well, congrats. 251 00:09:56,762 --> 00:09:58,229 - Thanks, yeah. 252 00:09:58,297 --> 00:10:00,698 So I'm... I'm just gonna take care of stuff around the office 253 00:10:00,765 --> 00:10:02,065 And get paid a reasonable salary. 254 00:10:02,133 --> 00:10:04,100 We need that, right? - Totally, that's great. 255 00:10:04,167 --> 00:10:06,635 - I get paid $40,000 a year. - Great. 256 00:10:06,703 --> 00:10:08,303 - Maybe $50,000. - $50,000! 257 00:10:08,370 --> 00:10:09,804 - No, not $50,000. 258 00:10:09,871 --> 00:10:12,572 $41,000, I think. 259 00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:14,307 - $41,000. - $41,500. 260 00:10:14,375 --> 00:10:16,709 - That's great. 261 00:10:20,583 --> 00:10:22,452 - Before me stands your coworker, 262 00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:25,054 Dwight Kurt Schrute. 263 00:10:25,121 --> 00:10:26,655 Dwight, show them all sides, turn around. 264 00:10:26,723 --> 00:10:29,890 Now, today we need your help turning Dwight into a gentleman. 265 00:10:29,958 --> 00:10:33,159 - A gentleman, who is a rich snob. 266 00:10:33,226 --> 00:10:34,493 Who will go into shopping malls 267 00:10:34,561 --> 00:10:37,630 And drop huge amounts of cash on clothes. 268 00:10:37,698 --> 00:10:38,997 - Is he still doing his boycott? 269 00:10:39,065 --> 00:10:41,565 - No, no, this is instead of the boycott. Yeah. 270 00:10:41,633 --> 00:10:44,569 - Your shirt and tie are disgusto-barfo. 271 00:10:44,636 --> 00:10:46,103 - Agreed. - Really? 272 00:10:46,171 --> 00:10:47,804 - Maybe something not so monochromatic. 273 00:10:47,872 --> 00:10:49,139 Not so matching. 274 00:10:49,207 --> 00:10:51,840 - Wait, less matching to appear more rich? 275 00:10:51,908 --> 00:10:56,043 - The glasses are a little... 276 00:10:56,111 --> 00:10:57,711 - I liked them. 277 00:10:57,778 --> 00:10:59,746 - I thought they were kind of cute. 278 00:10:59,813 --> 00:11:03,484 - Yeah, I liked them too. - I can't see. 279 00:11:03,551 --> 00:11:05,151 - Say stuff like, "good morning, good afternoon." 280 00:11:05,218 --> 00:11:06,551 People appreciate that. 281 00:11:06,619 --> 00:11:09,488 - Wait, I see you every day. Can I say, "good month?" 282 00:11:09,555 --> 00:11:11,690 - I'm telling you how to do this, man. 283 00:11:11,757 --> 00:11:13,091 - If someone offers you a cocktail, 284 00:11:13,159 --> 00:11:15,459 Accept, but keep your wits about you. 285 00:11:15,527 --> 00:11:16,526 - Okay. 286 00:11:16,594 --> 00:11:18,294 - Please and thank you go a long way. 287 00:11:18,362 --> 00:11:21,664 - Copy. Thank you. 288 00:11:21,732 --> 00:11:23,466 - Thank you. 289 00:11:23,534 --> 00:11:25,268 - Please. 290 00:11:25,336 --> 00:11:27,670 I think he's got it. 291 00:11:27,738 --> 00:11:30,739 - And I was raised by wolves. 292 00:11:30,807 --> 00:11:34,007 I was 25 years old before I saw my first human being. 293 00:11:34,075 --> 00:11:37,277 Wait, is it a full moon tonight? 294 00:11:42,349 --> 00:11:45,117 - Come on, Michael. These are all fake stories. 295 00:11:45,185 --> 00:11:48,388 - Yes, yes, they are all fake stories. 296 00:11:48,455 --> 00:11:49,555 What sort of twisted mind 297 00:11:49,623 --> 00:11:52,057 Would come up with weird stories like that? 298 00:11:52,125 --> 00:11:54,359 Three hours, we're halfway done. 299 00:11:54,426 --> 00:11:56,428 - How? 300 00:12:02,532 --> 00:12:04,866 - Hey, do you have a second? 301 00:12:04,934 --> 00:12:06,867 - Yeah. - Well, as I'm sure you know, 302 00:12:06,935 --> 00:12:07,968 For the past few months, 303 00:12:08,035 --> 00:12:09,102 I've been the office administrator, 304 00:12:09,169 --> 00:12:11,337 Since right before you guys took over. 305 00:12:11,405 --> 00:12:12,638 - Right, of course. 306 00:12:12,706 --> 00:12:14,339 - And I haven't goen paid yet. 307 00:12:14,407 --> 00:12:15,440 I'm not blaming you. 308 00:12:15,508 --> 00:12:18,609 - Thank you so much. 309 00:12:18,676 --> 00:12:20,310 - I just think somebody lost the paperwork. 310 00:12:20,378 --> 00:12:22,179 - Oh, boy. 311 00:12:22,246 --> 00:12:23,780 Can you get every department head's signature on this, 312 00:12:23,848 --> 00:12:25,615 So I can back this up to corporate? 313 00:12:25,683 --> 00:12:27,684 - Yes, absolutely, right away. 314 00:12:29,188 --> 00:12:31,323 - You know what, Michael? 315 00:12:31,391 --> 00:12:32,624 You're right. You win. 316 00:12:32,692 --> 00:12:34,759 This is pointless. We're not getting anywhere. 317 00:12:34,826 --> 00:12:37,361 I got a bunch of fun stuff, 318 00:12:37,428 --> 00:12:39,429 In case my daughter ever comes over. 319 00:12:39,496 --> 00:12:41,530 Why don't we just run out the clock 320 00:12:41,598 --> 00:12:45,767 By playing games, drawing some pictures, talking? 321 00:12:53,045 --> 00:12:54,445 - We present to you, for your final comments 322 00:12:54,513 --> 00:12:57,582 And approval, Dwight k. Schrute. 323 00:13:00,018 --> 00:13:01,152 - Go get 'em, Dwight. 324 00:13:01,220 --> 00:13:02,854 - Wish us luck. 325 00:13:02,922 --> 00:13:04,288 - Thank you. 326 00:13:04,356 --> 00:13:06,189 - Dwight. 327 00:13:07,725 --> 00:13:09,726 Ooh, all done. 328 00:13:09,794 --> 00:13:12,728 Disposable cameras are fun, although it does seem wasteful 329 00:13:12,796 --> 00:13:15,530 And you don't ever get to see your pictures. 330 00:13:15,597 --> 00:13:18,431 If it's an important event that you want to remember, 331 00:13:18,499 --> 00:13:20,299 I recommend using a real camera. 332 00:13:20,367 --> 00:13:23,102 But I don't care if I forget today. 333 00:13:23,169 --> 00:13:26,004 - We could play something more complicated if you'd like. 334 00:13:26,072 --> 00:13:27,839 - This is plenty complicated. 335 00:13:27,906 --> 00:13:29,340 - So you've played it before? 336 00:13:29,408 --> 00:13:31,542 - I played it once or twice with Jeff. 337 00:13:31,610 --> 00:13:33,143 - Who's Jeff? 338 00:13:33,211 --> 00:13:34,877 - Jeff was my mother's boyfriend, 339 00:13:34,945 --> 00:13:35,945 Who she married. 340 00:13:36,012 --> 00:13:39,281 - So her husband and your stepdad. 341 00:13:39,349 --> 00:13:40,649 - Yeah. 342 00:13:40,717 --> 00:13:43,418 Yeah, I guess I never thought of it that way, though. 343 00:13:45,221 --> 00:13:47,055 - Did you guys do much stuff together? 344 00:13:47,123 --> 00:13:48,323 - Yeah, you know what, 345 00:13:48,391 --> 00:13:51,260 He took me to a baseball game once, I remember. 346 00:13:51,327 --> 00:13:53,328 It was weird, though; They took the pitcher 347 00:13:53,396 --> 00:13:55,029 Out of the game, and I felt really bad 348 00:13:55,097 --> 00:13:56,831 Because the pitcher wasn't going to be able to play 349 00:13:56,898 --> 00:13:58,332 With his friends anymore. 350 00:13:58,400 --> 00:14:01,802 But Jeff said that the manager was making a really good move 351 00:14:01,869 --> 00:14:03,269 By taking the pitcher out. 352 00:14:03,337 --> 00:14:07,673 He really respected the manager. 353 00:14:07,741 --> 00:14:10,309 - It's working. 354 00:14:10,377 --> 00:14:12,177 I'm doing it. 355 00:14:12,245 --> 00:14:14,079 - Ahem. 356 00:14:17,249 --> 00:14:19,283 - What? - My place, tonight. 357 00:14:19,351 --> 00:14:21,552 Wear this. - Do you have your card? 358 00:14:21,619 --> 00:14:23,353 - Yes. 359 00:14:23,421 --> 00:14:26,654 - Don't forget the pipe. 360 00:14:26,722 --> 00:14:28,122 - It's really sad that your dog ran away, 361 00:14:28,190 --> 00:14:31,892 But why did it keep you from going to the park? 362 00:14:31,959 --> 00:14:33,360 - I was afraid I would find him 363 00:14:33,427 --> 00:14:34,827 In the park playing with another kid. 364 00:14:34,895 --> 00:14:36,362 - Why? 365 00:14:36,430 --> 00:14:38,297 - I guess that's why I thought he ran away in the first place... 366 00:14:38,365 --> 00:14:39,398 To find a kid he liked better. 367 00:14:39,466 --> 00:14:41,767 - Dogs don't do that. - Right? 368 00:14:41,835 --> 00:14:44,036 Why would a dog do that? - I don't know. 369 00:14:44,104 --> 00:14:46,438 - When I hear myself say it, it just sounds ridiculous. 370 00:14:46,506 --> 00:14:49,340 But I never said it out loud, so... 371 00:14:52,277 --> 00:14:53,611 - It's very important for you 372 00:14:53,679 --> 00:14:56,580 To be liked, isn't it? 373 00:14:56,648 --> 00:14:59,749 - Well, let's not get too... 374 00:14:59,817 --> 00:15:02,485 This isn't a counseling session. 375 00:15:05,457 --> 00:15:08,925 Okay. 376 00:15:08,992 --> 00:15:12,060 You son of a gun. 377 00:15:12,128 --> 00:15:14,063 You son of a bitch. 378 00:15:14,130 --> 00:15:15,264 Wow, okay. 379 00:15:15,332 --> 00:15:16,732 - I'm just trying to help you, Michael. 380 00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:19,701 - You bitch, God! - Michael. 381 00:15:19,769 --> 00:15:21,135 - You're very helpful, aren't you? 382 00:15:21,203 --> 00:15:22,636 - I'm trying to... - you try to help everybody. 383 00:15:22,704 --> 00:15:24,404 Do you wanna play another game? 384 00:15:24,472 --> 00:15:25,638 - I just wanna... - you are good. 385 00:15:25,706 --> 00:15:27,106 But you know what? You can't help people. 386 00:15:27,173 --> 00:15:28,307 You couldn't help your marriage. 387 00:15:28,375 --> 00:15:29,875 - Hey. - Lose, you lose. 388 00:15:29,943 --> 00:15:30,976 I don't need your help, 389 00:15:31,044 --> 00:15:32,477 Nobody needs your help. 390 00:15:32,545 --> 00:15:35,613 Nobody wants it! You can't help anybody. 391 00:15:35,681 --> 00:15:37,648 I don't need your help! 392 00:15:37,716 --> 00:15:39,983 Am I gonna make you cry? 393 00:15:40,050 --> 00:15:41,784 - Just fill them out any way you want. 394 00:15:41,852 --> 00:15:43,752 - Okay. 395 00:15:43,820 --> 00:15:45,220 - Have Erin fax them back to corporate. 396 00:15:45,288 --> 00:15:46,788 - Will do. 397 00:15:46,855 --> 00:15:48,189 - Okay, filled out...Good. 398 00:15:48,257 --> 00:15:49,190 Thank you, doctor, take two of these 399 00:15:49,257 --> 00:15:50,658 And call me in the morning. 400 00:15:53,698 --> 00:15:55,431 - Hey, Michael? 401 00:15:55,499 --> 00:15:57,166 Um, about three months ago, 402 00:15:57,234 --> 00:15:58,901 I was talking... 403 00:16:05,108 --> 00:16:07,109 There are a lot of one-person departments here, 404 00:16:07,177 --> 00:16:10,011 So there's a lot of department heads. 405 00:16:10,079 --> 00:16:12,513 But I'm off to a good start. 406 00:16:12,581 --> 00:16:14,415 Oh, man, if I can pull this off, 407 00:16:14,483 --> 00:16:18,285 It will be the scam of all scams. 408 00:16:18,352 --> 00:16:20,286 And yet, very helpful to everyone. 409 00:16:20,354 --> 00:16:23,356 - So corporate got your evaluations, 410 00:16:23,424 --> 00:16:24,790 And they wanted me to double-check... 411 00:16:24,858 --> 00:16:27,459 Is that really how you feel about Michael's situation? 412 00:16:27,526 --> 00:16:29,727 - Yes. 413 00:16:29,795 --> 00:16:32,031 - That is not how he seemed to me. 414 00:16:32,099 --> 00:16:33,732 - I thought he seemed fine. 415 00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:36,468 - You marked "severe" in all the categories, 416 00:16:36,535 --> 00:16:38,336 Including "at risk for homicidal behavior." 417 00:16:42,039 --> 00:16:45,275 - I saw a TLC show on Kate Walsh's home office. 418 00:16:45,342 --> 00:16:46,376 All corkboard. 419 00:16:46,443 --> 00:16:48,144 - We can do that. - Right in here. 420 00:16:48,211 --> 00:16:49,245 - Easily. 421 00:16:49,312 --> 00:16:50,446 - Knock, knock. 422 00:16:50,513 --> 00:16:52,314 Pam? Perfect. 423 00:16:52,382 --> 00:16:53,749 Um, I was hoping to talk to the office administrator 424 00:16:53,817 --> 00:16:56,084 About a little office administration problem. 425 00:16:56,152 --> 00:17:00,054 - But of course. - Great. 426 00:17:00,122 --> 00:17:01,789 The problem, unfortunately, 427 00:17:01,856 --> 00:17:05,926 Is about the office administrator. 428 00:17:05,993 --> 00:17:08,228 I have gone through everything from the past three years. 429 00:17:08,296 --> 00:17:10,063 There is nothing that says 430 00:17:10,131 --> 00:17:11,565 That you're office administrator. 431 00:17:11,632 --> 00:17:14,331 - So weird that there's no paperwork. 432 00:17:14,398 --> 00:17:15,732 - At all. 433 00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:18,601 - Although, like, unlikely things happen 434 00:17:18,669 --> 00:17:19,935 All the time. 435 00:17:20,003 --> 00:17:22,571 My best friend in High School, she went to Australia, 436 00:17:22,639 --> 00:17:24,239 Canberra I think, and she met this guy 437 00:17:24,307 --> 00:17:26,708 Who lived only two streets away from her in America. 438 00:17:26,775 --> 00:17:29,776 - Pam, I don't want to accuse you of anything. 439 00:17:29,844 --> 00:17:31,511 I just want everything to be back 440 00:17:31,579 --> 00:17:34,414 The way it's supposed to be. 441 00:17:34,482 --> 00:17:36,616 Can you just admit... 442 00:17:36,684 --> 00:17:38,551 Admit... 443 00:17:38,619 --> 00:17:39,685 - Admit what? 444 00:17:39,753 --> 00:17:41,353 - I don't want to say it. 445 00:17:47,592 --> 00:17:48,626 - Say it. 446 00:17:49,961 --> 00:17:52,596 - Say that I'm lying, or say I have the job. 447 00:17:52,663 --> 00:17:53,697 Make a definitive statement, Gabe. 448 00:17:53,764 --> 00:17:54,831 - Statements of such a nature, 449 00:17:54,899 --> 00:17:56,132 While they have their place, are overused 450 00:17:56,199 --> 00:17:57,933 In a competitive business environment. 451 00:17:58,000 --> 00:17:59,234 - Great. 452 00:17:59,301 --> 00:18:01,168 Well, let me know if you need a new chair, 453 00:18:01,236 --> 00:18:03,537 Or anything that an office administrator can handle. 454 00:18:03,605 --> 00:18:05,806 - Will do. 455 00:18:09,310 --> 00:18:12,346 Could I get one of those nameplates 456 00:18:12,413 --> 00:18:14,381 That says "Gabe lewis"? 457 00:18:14,449 --> 00:18:17,650 - For sure. Anything else? 458 00:18:17,718 --> 00:18:20,519 I'll get it right away. 459 00:18:20,587 --> 00:18:21,787 The first lesson of watching 460 00:18:21,855 --> 00:18:23,788 World poker tour at 2:00 A.M.: 461 00:18:23,856 --> 00:18:27,924 You play the opponent, not the cards. 462 00:18:29,493 --> 00:18:31,060 - Is that what we're here for? 463 00:18:31,128 --> 00:18:32,427 A crystal wizard. 464 00:18:32,495 --> 00:18:33,628 I like it. 465 00:18:33,696 --> 00:18:38,499 - It's a pewter wizard, holding a crystal. 466 00:18:38,567 --> 00:18:39,700 - Wait a second. 467 00:18:39,768 --> 00:18:42,603 You know you can't buy that now, right? 468 00:18:42,671 --> 00:18:44,104 I can come back and get it for you later, 469 00:18:44,172 --> 00:18:46,005 But I'm saying right now, we can't do that. 470 00:18:46,073 --> 00:18:47,140 - Right. 471 00:18:47,207 --> 00:18:48,508 'cause I'm here Revenge. 472 00:18:48,575 --> 00:18:50,076 - That's it. - Okay. 473 00:18:50,144 --> 00:18:52,545 - Let me know if I can help you with anything. 474 00:18:52,613 --> 00:18:55,347 - Excuse me, sir. - Yes? 475 00:18:55,415 --> 00:18:58,149 - I was here yesterday, and you refused to wait on me. 476 00:18:58,216 --> 00:18:59,516 - I remember, yes. 477 00:18:59,584 --> 00:19:00,784 I'm terribly sorry about what happened. 478 00:19:00,852 --> 00:19:01,785 - You work on commission, don't you? 479 00:19:01,853 --> 00:19:03,020 - Stop, stop. - No. 480 00:19:03,087 --> 00:19:04,054 - Hold on one second. 481 00:19:04,122 --> 00:19:05,021 Did you just say you remember him? 482 00:19:05,089 --> 00:19:06,222 - Of course. 483 00:19:06,290 --> 00:19:08,191 But, uh, he looks much less threatening now. 484 00:19:08,258 --> 00:19:09,191 - What does that mean? 485 00:19:09,259 --> 00:19:10,826 - We had a safety concern. 486 00:19:10,894 --> 00:19:13,061 We very politely indicated that he'd be welcomed back... 487 00:19:13,129 --> 00:19:14,328 - Good morning. 488 00:19:14,396 --> 00:19:15,996 - If he were in accordance with our dress policy. 489 00:19:16,063 --> 00:19:19,065 - What? - The bloodstained hands. 490 00:19:23,769 --> 00:19:25,571 - It was beet juice. 491 00:19:25,638 --> 00:19:27,706 I'm a beet farmer, id... 492 00:19:27,773 --> 00:19:29,107 - I'm very sorry. - Good sir. 493 00:19:29,175 --> 00:19:32,811 I happened to have been working a very long day that day, 494 00:19:32,878 --> 00:19:35,348 When I came to your fine estab... 495 00:19:35,415 --> 00:19:36,682 You are so... I'm gonna... 496 00:19:36,749 --> 00:19:40,418 Okay, listen, you can't treat... 497 00:19:40,485 --> 00:19:42,486 Thank you. Good morning, sir! 498 00:19:42,554 --> 00:19:43,754 - Okay. 499 00:19:43,822 --> 00:19:46,790 - You made a big mistake! Huge! 500 00:19:46,857 --> 00:19:49,325 - There it is. All right. 501 00:19:52,028 --> 00:19:54,496 - That was pretty good. - Thank you. Please. 502 00:19:54,564 --> 00:19:56,865 I'll take the wizard. 503 00:19:56,932 --> 00:19:58,700 - Uh, okay. 504 00:20:01,371 --> 00:20:04,905 - You forged them. You forged the forms. 505 00:20:04,973 --> 00:20:06,807 - You filled them in and faxed them yourself. 506 00:20:06,875 --> 00:20:08,175 - Yes. - You remember that. 507 00:20:08,243 --> 00:20:11,211 - Yes, but you had me so worked up 508 00:20:11,279 --> 00:20:12,579 That I made a mistake. 509 00:20:12,647 --> 00:20:15,348 - Unless a part of you made that mistake on purpose. 510 00:20:15,416 --> 00:20:18,150 - You don't make a mistake on purpose, Toby. 511 00:20:18,218 --> 00:20:21,921 Then it's no longer a mistake. 512 00:20:21,988 --> 00:20:25,090 Gabe. He messed it up. 513 00:20:25,158 --> 00:20:27,693 He messed up the forms, I bet. 514 00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:29,159 I wanna mess everything up 515 00:20:29,227 --> 00:20:30,893 So I can fix it and keep my job. 516 00:20:32,594 --> 00:20:35,427 - Good thing I'm here, 'cause I do nothing. 517 00:20:35,495 --> 00:20:37,861 I make everybody nervous. Aah! 518 00:20:37,929 --> 00:20:40,062 Okay. 519 00:20:40,130 --> 00:20:42,598 That's your notebook? All right. 520 00:20:42,665 --> 00:20:45,400 All right. Let's bang this out. 521 00:20:45,468 --> 00:20:46,968 Let's do it to it. 522 00:20:52,234 --> 00:20:53,154 That's the office, huh? 523 00:20:55,130 --> 00:20:55,849 Look at that. 524 00:20:56,700 --> 00:20:57,769 Angela's cat. 525 00:20:59,498 --> 00:21:01,881 Why is Angela taller than Dwight? 526 00:21:04,543 --> 00:21:05,928 Right, oh.. 527 00:21:06,367 --> 00:21:07,784 I wonder why, uh... 528 00:21:08,255 --> 00:21:09,247 It feels like that. 529 00:21:09,344 --> 00:21:12,578 Psychiatrists tend to be more crazy than their patients. 530 00:21:12,817 --> 00:21:14,985 Therapists are whores. 531 00:21:15,578 --> 00:21:17,738 Psychiatry is a narcissism machine. 532 00:21:19,082 --> 00:21:21,338 I learn more from Dr.** than from Dr. Froyd. 533 00:21:21,929 --> 00:21:22,618 Earth. 534 00:21:22,816 --> 00:21:24,330 You don't have to be crazy to live here. 535 00:21:24,776 --> 00:21:25,729 But it helps. 536 00:21:27,242 --> 00:21:28,210 I don't know... Just use the best one. 537 00:21:28,245 --> 00:21:28,900 Sync by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com