1 00:00:58,993 --> 00:01:01,231 - Michael ! - Oh god, Dwight come on ! 2 00:01:01,235 --> 00:01:02,717 I wanted to talk to you about the downsizing. 3 00:01:02,808 --> 00:01:04,202 There's no downsizing. 4 00:01:04,388 --> 00:01:06,875 But if there were, I'd be protected as assistant regional manager ? 5 00:01:06,887 --> 00:01:09,902 - Assistant to the regional manager Dwight. - Yeah, so I don't have to worry ? 6 00:01:10,028 --> 00:01:12,459 Look look look, I talked to corporate, 7 00:01:12,719 --> 00:01:15,229 About protecting the sales staff and they said they couldn't guarantee it 8 00:01:15,247 --> 00:01:18,768 If there's downsizing. Ok ? But, there's no downsizing. 9 00:01:18,787 --> 00:01:21,460 Bottom line. Do I need to be worried ? 10 00:01:22,124 --> 00:01:23,494 Maybe. 11 00:01:24,447 --> 00:01:26,244 It looks like there's gonna be downsizing. 12 00:01:26,272 --> 00:01:28,124 That is part of my job, but... 13 00:01:29,817 --> 00:01:30,892 I hate it 14 00:01:31,076 --> 00:01:33,959 I think the main difference between me and Donald Trump 15 00:01:33,966 --> 00:01:38,518 Is that I get no pleasure out of saying the words "you're fired" 16 00:01:38,746 --> 00:01:41,339 "You're fired", "you're fired". 17 00:01:42,216 --> 00:01:43,532 He just makes people sad. 18 00:01:43,566 --> 00:01:45,718 And an office can't function that way. 19 00:01:45,856 --> 00:01:47,695 No way. "You're fired". 20 00:01:48,146 --> 00:01:50,172 I think that if I had a catch phrase it would be, 21 00:01:50,246 --> 00:01:53,486 "you're hired, and you can work here as long as you want". 22 00:01:53,545 --> 00:01:55,566 But that's unrealistic so... 23 00:01:59,765 --> 00:02:00,740 It's a real shame, 24 00:02:00,755 --> 00:02:03,493 cause studies have shown that more information get passed through, 25 00:02:03,523 --> 00:02:05,568 water cooler gossips than through official memos, 26 00:02:06,215 --> 00:02:09,313 Which puts me in a disadvantage because 27 00:02:09,996 --> 00:02:11,991 I bring my own water to work. 28 00:02:13,044 --> 00:02:14,937 - Why did you do this ? - I didn't do it. 29 00:02:14,984 --> 00:02:16,351 What do you mean ? 30 00:02:16,914 --> 00:02:19,805 The water cooler was brought over here for... 31 00:02:20,234 --> 00:02:21,541 Maintenance. 32 00:02:21,604 --> 00:02:23,605 So why are you guys here ? 33 00:02:23,924 --> 00:02:26,069 What's the schedule bud'? 34 00:02:28,004 --> 00:02:31,210 Gets that, for operation moral improvement, 35 00:02:31,384 --> 00:02:33,279 Starring Michael Scott. 36 00:02:33,405 --> 00:02:35,668 Now I think I had a little stroke of genius, 37 00:02:35,733 --> 00:02:38,440 in that I have had my assistant Pam, 38 00:02:38,473 --> 00:02:41,990 smile Pam, I have had her go out and find out whose birthday, 39 00:02:42,213 --> 00:02:45,291 is coming up, so we can have a little celebration for it. 40 00:02:45,493 --> 00:02:47,469 Not bad, not bad at all, all right. 41 00:02:47,537 --> 00:02:51,292 And the birthday person is : Drum roll please.... 42 00:02:58,841 --> 00:03:01,026 who is it ? Whose the birthday ? 43 00:03:01,094 --> 00:03:03,529 Actually we don't have any staff birthdays coming up. 44 00:03:04,311 --> 00:03:07,260 - Next person on the calendar. - Ok. 45 00:03:07,851 --> 00:03:09,876 - That would be Meredith. - Yes all right. 46 00:03:10,542 --> 00:03:14,546 - Come on down Meredith ! - But it's not until next month. 47 00:03:15,239 --> 00:03:16,261 Ok. 48 00:03:17,201 --> 00:03:19,155 Great ! you know, it will be a surprise. 49 00:03:20,731 --> 00:03:23,837 - You still want to have a party ? - Yeah why not, sure, 50 00:03:23,998 --> 00:03:25,966 go ahead ! Lead a little. Come on Pam. 51 00:03:26,544 --> 00:03:28,551 Come on shake it up, shake it in. 52 00:03:29,187 --> 00:03:30,480 Shake it up. 53 00:03:33,733 --> 00:03:35,939 Spok, is there any signs of life down there ? 54 00:03:36,219 --> 00:03:37,762 Well, let me check captain. 55 00:03:43,019 --> 00:03:45,006 No captain no signs of life down there. 56 00:03:45,650 --> 00:03:48,055 Just a wet blanket, named Pam. 57 00:03:52,820 --> 00:03:54,344 Star Trek. 58 00:03:55,250 --> 00:03:57,652 Well for decorations maybe we could... 59 00:03:58,636 --> 00:04:00,642 - Stupid forget it. - What ? 60 00:04:01,588 --> 00:04:04,103 I was just gonna say maybe we could have streamers but, 61 00:04:04,144 --> 00:04:05,996 that's dumb. Everybody have streamers. 62 00:04:06,613 --> 00:04:09,199 - Never mind - No, yeah, I think that's a good idea. 63 00:04:09,594 --> 00:04:11,590 What color do you guys think ? 64 00:04:12,439 --> 00:04:14,321 Well there's green. 65 00:04:15,406 --> 00:04:16,602 Blue. 66 00:04:17,141 --> 00:04:18,328 Yellow. 67 00:04:19,157 --> 00:04:20,701 - Red. - How about green ? 68 00:04:21,376 --> 00:04:23,305 I think green is kind of whorish. 69 00:04:23,923 --> 00:04:25,109 This was tough. 70 00:04:25,206 --> 00:04:27,212 I suggested we flip a coin. 71 00:04:27,415 --> 00:04:30,000 But Angela said she doesn't like to gamble. 72 00:04:30,598 --> 00:04:34,003 Of course by saying that she was gambling that I wouldn't smack her. 73 00:04:35,180 --> 00:04:38,015 These are my party planning biatches, 74 00:04:38,497 --> 00:04:40,504 Pulled off an amazing eighties party last year. 75 00:04:40,687 --> 00:04:42,346 "Off the hook" ! 76 00:04:42,399 --> 00:04:45,627 So I was thinking, if you haven't already got the cake... 77 00:04:45,664 --> 00:04:48,442 Maybe going for one of those ice cream cakes from Baskin Robbins... 78 00:04:48,664 --> 00:04:50,343 they're very good. Very delicious. 79 00:04:50,478 --> 00:04:52,542 Meredith is allergic to dairy so... 80 00:04:53,323 --> 00:04:55,682 She's not the only one that's gonna be eating right ? 81 00:04:55,725 --> 00:04:57,790 I think everybody likes ice cream cake. 82 00:04:59,149 --> 00:05:00,866 It's not, not just about her so... 83 00:05:01,059 --> 00:05:03,104 - It's her birthday. - Milk chocolate chip ! 84 00:05:03,557 --> 00:05:04,502 Would be good. 85 00:05:08,406 --> 00:05:12,817 Hey, so listen, I was thinking that it might be a good idea... 86 00:05:12,904 --> 00:05:15,527 if you and I formed an alliance. 87 00:05:17,650 --> 00:05:19,404 Because of the downsizing. 88 00:05:19,481 --> 00:05:21,323 I think an alliance might be a good idea. 89 00:05:21,401 --> 00:05:23,118 You know, help each other out. 90 00:05:25,761 --> 00:05:27,864 Do you want to form an alliance ? 91 00:05:28,481 --> 00:05:30,179 With me ? 92 00:05:32,248 --> 00:05:34,447 - Absolutely I do. - Good, good. 93 00:05:34,674 --> 00:05:37,269 Excellent, ok, now we need to figure out who's vulnerable... 94 00:05:37,385 --> 00:05:38,898 who's protected the... 95 00:05:38,952 --> 00:05:41,073 At that moment I was just so happy. 96 00:05:41,224 --> 00:05:43,851 I mean everything Dwight does, annoys me. 97 00:05:43,967 --> 00:05:45,974 Did you get your tickets ? 98 00:05:46,302 --> 00:05:47,594 To what ? 99 00:05:47,671 --> 00:05:49,504 The gun show. 100 00:05:55,301 --> 00:05:56,806 And I spend... 101 00:05:56,883 --> 00:05:59,237 hours thinking of ways to get back at him... 102 00:05:59,632 --> 00:06:01,734 but only ways that would get me arrested. 103 00:06:01,840 --> 00:06:06,094 Then here he comes and he says "no, Jim, here's a way". 104 00:06:07,382 --> 00:06:09,311 Just one other thing and this is important. 105 00:06:09,436 --> 00:06:11,424 Let's keep this alliance totally a secret. 106 00:06:12,369 --> 00:06:13,083 Yeah. 107 00:06:13,276 --> 00:06:15,089 Don't tell anyone. 108 00:06:15,629 --> 00:06:17,038 - An alliance ? - Oh, yeah. 109 00:06:17,134 --> 00:06:18,496 What does that even mean ? 110 00:06:18,503 --> 00:06:21,234 I think it has something to do with "survivor", but I'm not sure. 111 00:06:22,921 --> 00:06:27,030 I know that it involves spying on people and we may build a fort, Pam. 112 00:06:27,136 --> 00:06:29,336 Jim ? Hey, Hi Pam. 113 00:06:29,582 --> 00:06:33,407 Can I talk to you a second about the paper products ? 114 00:06:34,121 --> 00:06:36,175 - Did you tell Pam about the alliance ? - No ! 115 00:06:36,407 --> 00:06:37,853 - Just now ! - Oh no, no, no ! 116 00:06:37,989 --> 00:06:40,072 Dwight no. I'm using her... 117 00:06:40,323 --> 00:06:43,129 for the alliance, who knows the most information about this office ? 118 00:06:43,370 --> 00:06:45,258 - Pam ! Right. - That's good, good, pursue this ! 119 00:06:45,285 --> 00:06:47,479 I'm trying to,. Do you see what I'm doing ? 120 00:06:47,615 --> 00:06:49,640 But listen, I'm gonna have to talk to her a lot. 121 00:06:49,765 --> 00:06:52,350 All right, there might chatting, and giggling, 122 00:06:52,435 --> 00:06:54,841 And you got to just pretend to ignore it, wipe it away. 123 00:06:54,887 --> 00:06:56,777 Done ! All right. 124 00:07:03,398 --> 00:07:05,616 Can you get her, she's right there. That is Meredith. 125 00:07:06,234 --> 00:07:07,931 The birthday girl. 126 00:07:08,250 --> 00:07:09,883 And this... 127 00:07:09,910 --> 00:07:12,378 Is Meredith card. "Happy Bird-day." 128 00:07:15,446 --> 00:07:17,144 Let's see... Jim. 129 00:07:18,050 --> 00:07:21,909 Jim wrote : "Meredith I heard you're turning forty-six but come on... 130 00:07:22,430 --> 00:07:24,696 You're an accountant, just fudge the numbers" 131 00:07:25,323 --> 00:07:26,875 Not bad, pretty funny. 132 00:07:26,890 --> 00:07:29,533 I don't appreciate condoning corporate fraud though. 133 00:07:30,749 --> 00:07:32,977 Here's the thing, whatever I write here... 134 00:07:33,102 --> 00:07:35,958 has to be really really funny. 135 00:07:36,064 --> 00:07:38,321 Because people out there are expecting it. 136 00:07:38,475 --> 00:07:40,848 I've already set the bar really high. 137 00:07:41,273 --> 00:07:43,240 And they're all worried about their jobs, 138 00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:45,174 you know, it's kind of dark out there. 139 00:07:45,350 --> 00:07:47,840 Can you imagine if I wrote something like : 140 00:07:48,052 --> 00:07:50,946 "Meredith, happy birthday... 141 00:07:51,527 --> 00:07:53,842 you're great, love Michael". 142 00:08:01,202 --> 00:08:03,228 They seem awfully chummy. Don't you think ? 143 00:08:03,392 --> 00:08:05,571 Yeah, what do you think that's about ? 144 00:08:05,687 --> 00:08:07,963 Only one way to find out. 145 00:08:08,426 --> 00:08:10,143 Come on. 146 00:08:12,169 --> 00:08:15,227 - You are not going to believe this. - What ? I believe it. 147 00:08:15,430 --> 00:08:18,420 - Well, tensions were high in the kitchen. - I can tell from the body language. 148 00:08:18,598 --> 00:08:21,362 - That looks good, what is it, turkey ? - Italian. 149 00:08:22,278 --> 00:08:24,401 Oh Italian ! Nice. Wow. 150 00:08:25,066 --> 00:08:27,959 Get the works there. Red onion, provolone... 151 00:08:28,027 --> 00:08:28,875 Yeah. 152 00:08:28,946 --> 00:08:31,393 Toby and Kevin, they're trying to get Angela kicked off. 153 00:08:31,470 --> 00:08:33,247 Good ! Let them, That's fine it helps our cause. 154 00:08:33,259 --> 00:08:36,033 Well I don't know. Because if Kevin is in accounting... 155 00:08:36,076 --> 00:08:39,072 and Toby is in human resources... and they're talking ? 156 00:08:39,104 --> 00:08:40,282 They're forming an alliance. 157 00:08:40,350 --> 00:08:42,564 - I love their sandwich. - I love their sandwich too. 158 00:08:42,687 --> 00:08:45,626 - Their bread is really good. - Their bread is very good. 159 00:08:45,935 --> 00:08:47,863 Damn it ! God ! 160 00:08:48,745 --> 00:08:50,294 God ! 161 00:08:53,101 --> 00:08:54,741 Ok, listen. 162 00:08:54,992 --> 00:08:58,231 We need to assume that everyone in the office is forming an alliance. 163 00:08:58,272 --> 00:09:00,095 And is therefore trying to get us kicked out. 164 00:09:00,259 --> 00:09:02,583 Damn it, why us ? 165 00:09:02,883 --> 00:09:05,294 Because we're strong Dwight, because we're strong. 166 00:09:06,181 --> 00:09:07,601 Meredith, Meredith... 167 00:09:07,645 --> 00:09:09,962 "Mary had a little lamb"... 168 00:09:10,019 --> 00:09:12,426 Meredith had a little lamb, 169 00:09:12,436 --> 00:09:15,007 don't bring that lamb to work or it'll poop on the floor... 170 00:09:15,074 --> 00:09:17,525 Hey ! Oscar ! Come on in. What's up ? 171 00:09:17,785 --> 00:09:19,998 - I'm sorry to bother you. - No not at all come on in. 172 00:09:20,041 --> 00:09:23,244 - What's going on ? - My nephew is involved with... 173 00:09:23,823 --> 00:09:26,253 With charity for Cerebral Palsy, 174 00:09:26,427 --> 00:09:28,760 And I was wondering if maybe you would like to. 175 00:09:30,361 --> 00:09:32,252 - You know, if... - What ? 176 00:09:32,542 --> 00:09:33,988 A donate to the charity. 177 00:09:34,085 --> 00:09:36,053 Oh God !'Course I would. 178 00:09:36,699 --> 00:09:39,477 Get it over here ! Get that over here. 179 00:09:39,776 --> 00:09:42,014 - Thank you. - No I'm always good... 180 00:09:42,766 --> 00:09:46,278 For some serious buckage. Wow ! Two dollars, three dollars ? 181 00:09:47,358 --> 00:09:49,653 People out here, do not care about... 182 00:09:50,656 --> 00:09:51,717 diseases. 183 00:09:51,814 --> 00:09:55,132 I'm going to give you twenty five dollars. 184 00:09:56,791 --> 00:09:58,369 That's... 185 00:09:58,466 --> 00:10:01,109 - That's, that's very generous. - Oh my gosh, well. 186 00:10:01,572 --> 00:10:05,739 Listen Oscar, generosity and togetherness, and community... 187 00:10:06,568 --> 00:10:09,407 all convalescences into... 188 00:10:10,272 --> 00:10:11,779 Moral. 189 00:10:11,904 --> 00:10:14,161 That's what I say, so... 190 00:10:16,939 --> 00:10:19,891 - Hey Jim, can I talk to you for second ? - Sure, what's up ? 191 00:10:21,009 --> 00:10:23,344 I don't know I'm just going a little crazy... 192 00:10:23,498 --> 00:10:26,064 cause I keep overhearing all these conversations... 193 00:10:26,807 --> 00:10:30,550 between Michael and corporate about like staff issues. 194 00:10:30,684 --> 00:10:33,519 - Oh no ! - Yeah. He's making me take notes 195 00:10:33,789 --> 00:10:36,934 on his meetings, and I'm like, these people are my friends. 196 00:10:37,030 --> 00:10:38,458 - Right. - But he's all like 197 00:10:38,824 --> 00:10:41,091 this is confidential you can't tell anybody but..." 198 00:10:41,863 --> 00:10:43,783 I don't know I just feel like I want to... 199 00:10:43,862 --> 00:10:46,076 Just promise me you're gonna say anything. 200 00:10:46,112 --> 00:10:48,541 - I will not. I'm not gonna tell anybody - Ok. 201 00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:50,530 - It's between you and me. - Yeah. 202 00:10:54,446 --> 00:10:55,970 Jackpot. 203 00:10:56,163 --> 00:10:58,391 That was beautiful. All her idea, too. 204 00:10:58,936 --> 00:11:00,480 Awesome. 205 00:11:00,520 --> 00:11:02,660 She's so great. 206 00:11:04,734 --> 00:11:07,415 Meredith bad-breath. Meredith has bad breath. 207 00:11:08,129 --> 00:11:10,078 - Hey - Hey 208 00:11:10,731 --> 00:11:13,409 - You wanted to see me ? - Yeah. What do you know about Meredith ? 209 00:11:13,453 --> 00:11:15,787 I don't think she'd be missed. 210 00:11:15,845 --> 00:11:18,044 There's not going to be downsizing Dwight, ok ? 211 00:11:18,065 --> 00:11:20,697 I just, I need to know a little bit more about... 212 00:11:21,430 --> 00:11:23,051 My friend. 213 00:11:23,263 --> 00:11:24,479 Name : Meredith Palmer. 214 00:11:24,614 --> 00:11:27,170 Personal information : divorced twice, two kids. 215 00:11:27,845 --> 00:11:29,735 Employer : Dundler Mifflin Paper Incorporated. 216 00:11:30,083 --> 00:11:32,495 - Awards : multiple "Dundies". - I know that, I know, 217 00:11:32,530 --> 00:11:35,274 I just, I need something kind of embarrassing, you know. 218 00:11:35,303 --> 00:11:38,298 - Kind of fun, inside. - She had a hysterectomy. 219 00:11:40,387 --> 00:11:42,331 - Which one is that again ? - That's when they remove the uterus. 220 00:11:42,398 --> 00:11:43,932 Ho, God ! Dwight no ! 221 00:11:45,292 --> 00:11:47,535 I'm trying to write something funny here ok ? 222 00:11:47,704 --> 00:11:49,314 What am I gonna do with a removed uterus ? 223 00:11:49,411 --> 00:11:52,786 - It can be kind of funny. - You know what, I'm on a deadline here, 224 00:11:52,917 --> 00:11:55,443 And just, ok, thanks, thanks for your help, 225 00:11:55,540 --> 00:11:58,241 I'll work it out, thank you Dwight. 226 00:12:00,459 --> 00:12:02,283 That wasn't a waste of time. 227 00:12:03,614 --> 00:12:05,070 Ok, here's the deal, all right. 228 00:12:05,398 --> 00:12:07,559 Pam says that one of the alliances is meeting... 229 00:12:07,781 --> 00:12:10,231 - In the warehouse during Meredith birthday. - Oh, my god we have to be there. 230 00:12:10,279 --> 00:12:11,746 I know ! But it's going to be a little tough 231 00:12:11,767 --> 00:12:14,243 - Because there's no good place to hide. - No no ! Yes there is. 232 00:12:14,340 --> 00:12:16,577 - Behind the shells. Oh my god. - What ? What ? What ? 233 00:12:16,886 --> 00:12:19,625 - I know. I know exactly what to do. - Great. 234 00:12:20,136 --> 00:12:22,239 I'm a deer hunter. I go all the time with my dad. 235 00:12:23,001 --> 00:12:25,992 One thing about deer. They have very good vision. 236 00:12:26,513 --> 00:12:28,693 One thing about me... 237 00:12:28,828 --> 00:12:32,628 I'm better at hiding than they are at vision. 238 00:12:34,963 --> 00:12:37,007 It's gonna be perfect, ok ? Centrally located, 239 00:12:37,161 --> 00:12:39,264 Perfect cover, I can hear and see everything. 240 00:12:40,132 --> 00:12:41,097 Good. 241 00:12:41,174 --> 00:12:42,409 - Michael ? - Just a sec. 242 00:12:42,525 --> 00:12:43,335 - Are you done yet ? - Almost there. 243 00:12:43,383 --> 00:12:45,428 Ok. Just a second. It is perfect. 244 00:12:45,948 --> 00:12:48,264 Thank you, excellent, here we go. 245 00:12:48,842 --> 00:12:51,804 It is time, thank you, ok come one ! Let's go ! Get the cake, let's go. 246 00:12:52,199 --> 00:12:53,916 Here we go ! Come on come on come on ! 247 00:12:54,842 --> 00:12:55,846 Be quiet. 248 00:12:55,937 --> 00:12:57,962 Wait this isn't gonna work. The lid is open. 249 00:12:58,058 --> 00:13:00,142 - So tape it down. - I can't do that, 250 00:13:00,277 --> 00:13:03,817 - then you won't be able to breathe. - I can breathe just fine, ok ? 251 00:13:03,856 --> 00:13:06,284 But if it makes you feel better, I'll poke holes in the box. 252 00:13:06,335 --> 00:13:08,939 - Thank you. Thank you, - Ok. 253 00:13:11,525 --> 00:13:13,898 Surprise ! 254 00:13:14,322 --> 00:13:16,676 - Surprise ! - No, it's... 255 00:13:17,158 --> 00:13:19,626 It's surprise Meredith ! One, Two. 256 00:13:19,916 --> 00:13:23,427 Happy birthday to you 257 00:13:23,639 --> 00:13:25,569 - Find the key. - Happy birthday. 258 00:13:25,945 --> 00:13:29,456 So you want me to stay here, and stand next to the box. 259 00:13:29,649 --> 00:13:32,446 No, you need to go upstairs to the party. 260 00:13:32,774 --> 00:13:36,006 - So people don't notice we're both gone. - Right. That's good. 261 00:13:36,199 --> 00:13:38,417 Can I trust Jim ? I don't know. 262 00:13:39,458 --> 00:13:41,252 Do I have a choice ? No. 263 00:13:41,368 --> 00:13:43,827 Frankly I don't. Will I trust Jim ? Yes. 264 00:13:44,464 --> 00:13:46,896 Should I trust Jim ? 265 00:13:47,117 --> 00:13:48,545 You tell me. 266 00:13:48,699 --> 00:13:51,564 Happy birthday to you, Meredith... 267 00:13:51,757 --> 00:13:57,950 Happy birthday to you, and many more 268 00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:06,420 - You were surprised weren't you ? - Yes. 269 00:14:06,429 --> 00:14:08,936 You looked freaked, man, when we said surprise 270 00:14:09,264 --> 00:14:12,524 You were like, "what ? What the hell is going on here ? 271 00:14:13,740 --> 00:14:16,171 - Ice cake. Why don't you have some ? - I can't. 272 00:14:16,537 --> 00:14:18,773 - Come on, a little bit, a little bit. - No I can't eat dairy. 273 00:14:18,814 --> 00:14:21,272 Oh right. Oh god too bad it's so good. 274 00:14:21,494 --> 00:14:23,038 That makes me sick. 275 00:14:23,134 --> 00:14:26,452 You know what if I were allergic to dairy I think I'd kill myself. 276 00:14:27,735 --> 00:14:30,012 This is way way too good. 277 00:14:33,234 --> 00:14:36,388 - He's in a box ? - Pam, he's in a BOX. 278 00:14:36,957 --> 00:14:40,063 He's downstairs, in a box, on the floor near the shells. 279 00:14:41,049 --> 00:14:44,160 So you just go down there, and work your magic. 280 00:14:48,136 --> 00:14:51,995 Hey ! Where are you ? Yeah, we were supposed to meet here ! 281 00:14:53,172 --> 00:14:54,761 What ? 282 00:14:55,535 --> 00:14:57,647 Oh my Gosh ! 283 00:14:57,889 --> 00:15:02,344 That ties in perfectly with something that Michael was telling me earlier ! 284 00:15:03,463 --> 00:15:07,052 I just don't know what some of the people in like accounting are gonna do. 285 00:15:08,315 --> 00:15:10,688 It's not specifically that... 286 00:15:13,486 --> 00:15:15,646 Hey Jim, good party eh ? 287 00:15:15,753 --> 00:15:19,283 Just a little some’ wiped up you know a little moral boost, no big deal. 288 00:15:20,103 --> 00:15:21,994 Speaking of which I meant to tell you, very impressive, 289 00:15:22,046 --> 00:15:24,703 the donation you gave to Oscar's charity. 290 00:15:24,886 --> 00:15:27,879 - Was that twenty-five bucks ? - Well no, yeah you know. 291 00:15:27,933 --> 00:15:31,533 Money isn't everything Jim. Not the key to happiness. 292 00:15:31,725 --> 00:15:33,963 You know what is ? Joy. 293 00:15:34,822 --> 00:15:37,986 You should remember that, maybe give more than three dollars next time. 294 00:15:39,018 --> 00:15:42,438 Yeah well, three dollars a miles will end up like fifty bucks. 295 00:15:42,909 --> 00:15:47,007 So, god, can't even calculate what you're gonna have to give. 296 00:15:54,967 --> 00:15:56,559 Is Oscar around ? 297 00:15:56,631 --> 00:15:59,641 I just thought it was a kind of a flat, you know, 298 00:16:00,007 --> 00:16:02,612 twenty-five dollars one time donation. 299 00:16:02,786 --> 00:16:05,833 Didn't think it was a per-mile kind of deal, you know so... 300 00:16:06,826 --> 00:16:08,775 - Well, that's what a walk-athon is. - I know. 301 00:16:08,842 --> 00:16:10,463 It says here right on the sheet. 302 00:16:10,675 --> 00:16:14,119 Look look at the sheet, it says "it's however many dollars per-mile". 303 00:16:14,321 --> 00:16:16,868 Got it, yes so it does. 304 00:16:17,215 --> 00:16:20,051 I just think it's kind of cheap to undonate money to a charity. 305 00:16:20,148 --> 00:16:23,640 No, no no no. I wasn't I wasn't, no no, 306 00:16:23,736 --> 00:16:25,607 It's it's not about the money. 307 00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:29,099 It's just it it... It's the ethics of the thing, 308 00:16:29,877 --> 00:16:31,491 Oscar. 309 00:16:33,130 --> 00:16:35,638 How's your nephew ? Is he in a good shape ? 310 00:16:36,101 --> 00:16:37,741 - Yeah. - How many miles did he do last year ? 311 00:16:37,850 --> 00:16:40,490 - Last year he walked eighteen miles. - Son of a bitch ! 312 00:16:40,769 --> 00:16:43,345 That is impressive, good for him. 313 00:17:05,193 --> 00:17:07,140 - Happy birthday Meredith. - Read it out loud ! 314 00:17:07,362 --> 00:17:10,275 Say who wrote everything. So we know whose is the best. 315 00:17:10,931 --> 00:17:12,697 Happy bird-day. 316 00:17:16,032 --> 00:17:19,661 "Meredith, good news ! You're not actually a year older, 317 00:17:20,037 --> 00:17:22,873 Because you work here, where time stand still." 318 00:17:24,590 --> 00:17:27,234 - Not bad. - That was Stanley. 319 00:17:27,406 --> 00:17:29,770 "Meredith, happy birthday 320 00:17:30,618 --> 00:17:32,953 You're the best, love Pam." 321 00:17:36,445 --> 00:17:37,815 Thanks darer. 322 00:17:38,017 --> 00:17:39,773 This is from Michael : 323 00:17:39,888 --> 00:17:43,940 "Meredith. Let's hope that the only downsizing that happens to you... 324 00:17:44,114 --> 00:17:46,911 Is that someone downsizes your age." 325 00:17:49,684 --> 00:17:52,018 Because of the downsizing. Rumours. 326 00:17:52,736 --> 00:17:54,700 And because you're getting old. 327 00:17:54,847 --> 00:17:58,088 No, I, I get it. 328 00:17:58,416 --> 00:18:00,924 - It's funny. - You didn't get the joke. 329 00:18:01,368 --> 00:18:03,210 That's cool, that's you know what actually 330 00:18:03,287 --> 00:18:05,786 I have a bunch of these, 331 00:18:06,229 --> 00:18:08,699 good ones that I didn't use. 332 00:18:09,658 --> 00:18:12,533 What was that ? Oh ok ! Here's a good one. 333 00:18:12,957 --> 00:18:16,546 "Meredith, Liz Taylor called, she wants her age back and her divorces back". 334 00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:20,069 Cause Meredith has been divorced like, twice. Is that right ? 335 00:18:20,124 --> 00:18:21,977 - You're right. - Is that right ? 336 00:18:22,054 --> 00:18:23,606 - Ok. - You're right. Yes 337 00:18:23,694 --> 00:18:25,314 Divorce... 338 00:18:27,842 --> 00:18:29,847 Oh ok, "Meredith is so old..." 339 00:18:30,936 --> 00:18:33,232 - "How old is she ?" - Right everybody, you can do it ? 340 00:18:33,281 --> 00:18:35,133 "Meredith is so old..." 341 00:18:35,750 --> 00:18:37,776 - How old is she ? - "She's so old... 342 00:18:37,949 --> 00:18:40,303 She went into an antique store and they kept her". 343 00:18:45,801 --> 00:18:48,811 That wasn't even mine, I got that off the internet. Website. 344 00:18:49,255 --> 00:18:51,376 Don't get mad at me. 345 00:18:51,482 --> 00:18:54,106 - Nice party Michael. - This isn't my fault. 346 00:18:56,392 --> 00:18:59,556 Ladies, not your best effort. Streamers ? 347 00:19:00,502 --> 00:19:02,778 You could have done better than that don't you think ? 348 00:19:02,895 --> 00:19:06,194 - Phyllis wanted red, I didn't. - Oh, boy. 349 00:19:07,370 --> 00:19:10,158 Ok we, all right people hold on hold on. 350 00:19:10,448 --> 00:19:13,924 Just a second ok, I think we're losing sight of what is really important here. 351 00:19:14,141 --> 00:19:16,289 And that is that we are... 352 00:19:17,392 --> 00:19:20,832 A group of people who work together. 353 00:19:22,032 --> 00:19:24,197 I was, I really wasn't gonna with on this. 354 00:19:25,255 --> 00:19:29,610 I've made a very sizable donation to Oscar's nephews 355 00:19:31,506 --> 00:19:32,792 walk-athon. 356 00:19:33,994 --> 00:19:35,345 Twenty-five dollars. 357 00:19:35,441 --> 00:19:37,293 - Per mile. - Per-mile, yes. 358 00:19:37,525 --> 00:19:39,637 When I retire I... 359 00:19:40,158 --> 00:19:42,531 I don't want to just disappear to one island somewhere. 360 00:19:43,525 --> 00:19:45,647 I want to be the guy who gives everything back. 361 00:19:46,004 --> 00:19:49,168 A check for the kids, and for the teen. 362 00:19:49,814 --> 00:19:51,107 I want it to be like : 363 00:19:52,361 --> 00:19:56,141 "Who donated that hospital wing that is saving somebody's life ? 364 00:19:57,395 --> 00:20:00,520 Well, I don't know that was anonymous. 365 00:20:01,157 --> 00:20:02,324 Guess what ? 366 00:20:03,212 --> 00:20:05,507 That was Michael Scott. 367 00:20:05,614 --> 00:20:08,739 But it was anonymous, how do you know ? 368 00:20:11,006 --> 00:20:13,379 Because I met him." 369 00:20:14,439 --> 00:20:16,021 Thank you Michael. 370 00:20:17,719 --> 00:20:19,397 Come here. 371 00:20:20,217 --> 00:20:22,629 Don't cash that until Friday ok ? 372 00:20:22,908 --> 00:20:25,011 - Really today ? - Yeah. 373 00:20:25,137 --> 00:20:26,738 - Happy birthday. - Nice. 374 00:20:26,989 --> 00:20:28,976 - I could say something... - No don't do that. 375 00:20:32,159 --> 00:20:35,361 Ok, ok, I have something that totally tops the box. 376 00:20:35,525 --> 00:20:36,837 Oh tell me, tell me. 377 00:20:37,020 --> 00:20:40,879 I have just convinced Dwight that he needs to go to Stanford 378 00:20:41,166 --> 00:20:44,718 and spy on our other branch, no no no, but before he does so, 379 00:20:44,962 --> 00:20:48,390 I told him that he should die his hair, to go undercover. 380 00:20:48,472 --> 00:20:51,403 If we can get him to drive to Connecticut 381 00:20:51,502 --> 00:20:53,715 and put some bright side in his hair. 382 00:20:53,770 --> 00:20:54,744 What the hell is this ? 383 00:20:54,785 --> 00:20:56,257 What, are you trying to cop a feel or something Halpert ? 384 00:20:56,479 --> 00:20:59,005 - No, Dude no. Dude no ! Just listen ! - Hey hey, come on ! 385 00:20:59,142 --> 00:21:01,987 God, I don't even know how to explain this. 386 00:21:03,241 --> 00:21:05,817 Dwight asked me to be in an alliance, 387 00:21:06,338 --> 00:21:08,730 And then... 388 00:21:08,894 --> 00:21:10,949 We've just been messing with him 389 00:21:11,219 --> 00:21:13,592 because of the whole alliance thing... 390 00:21:14,508 --> 00:21:17,247 - It's just office pranks. - It's stupid, it's just office pranks. 391 00:21:17,411 --> 00:21:19,475 Dwight, what the hell is he talking about ? 392 00:21:20,951 --> 00:21:23,363 I have absolutely no idea. 393 00:21:25,379 --> 00:21:27,154 Come on. 394 00:21:32,015 --> 00:21:33,877 Do I feel bad about betraying Jim ? 395 00:21:34,051 --> 00:21:36,154 Not at all. 396 00:21:36,646 --> 00:21:39,249 That's the game. Convince him we're on an alliance. 397 00:21:39,558 --> 00:21:42,217 Gets him information, throw him to the wolves. 398 00:21:42,332 --> 00:21:44,995 That's politics baby, get what you can out of someone, 399 00:21:45,535 --> 00:21:46,963 Then crush them. 400 00:21:47,368 --> 00:21:49,779 I think Jim might have learned a very valuable lesson.