1 00:00:02,520 --> 00:00:06,559 Hi. Welcome to the show. My name's Howard Moon and this is Vince Noir. 2 00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:09,712 -All right? This week, the subject of heroes. 3 00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:13,236 What is a hero? Who is a hero? Am I a hero? 4 00:00:13,320 --> 00:00:16,199 - No way. We'll tackle that question in the show. 5 00:00:16,280 --> 00:00:19,557 Can anyone be a hero any more in the modern world? 6 00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:22,075 -Jagger. He's like... -1 mean real heroes. 7 00:00:22,160 --> 00:00:25,676 He's a hero. He's a monkey genius. - I'm talking about Livingstone. 8 00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:29,116 Explorers. People who went deep into the heart of darkness 9 00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:31,714 to confront the terrifying abyss. 10 00:00:31,800 --> 00:00:34,553 What would Jagger do when confronted by the abyss? 11 00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:36,597 He'd probably go like this. 12 00:00:41,160 --> 00:00:43,037 Enjoy the show. 13 00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:53,117 ..to the world of The Mighty Boosh. 14 00:00:54,040 --> 00:00:58,955 Come with us to The Mighty Boosh X The Mighty Boosh 15 00:00:59,040 --> 00:01:03,432 Come with us to The Mighty Boosh 16 00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:08,390 Can I squirt for a bit? No. You buff, I squirt. 17 00:01:08,480 --> 00:01:11,438 I've been here longer than you. Get on with it. 18 00:01:11,520 --> 00:01:15,753 - You're in a right mood. What's wrong? - The zoo's falling apart. 19 00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:19,629 Never used to be like this. Not when Tommy ran the zoo. 20 00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:23,190 Tommy, where you go 21 00:01:23,280 --> 00:01:26,159 Tommy, where you go, where you go 22 00:01:26,240 --> 00:01:28,709 Where are you now, Tommy? J1 23 00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:31,030 - He's dead. He's not dead. 24 00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:33,316 Everyone knows he fell in the ocelot pit. 25 00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:37,837 -They never found his body. -They munched on him like an old Twix. 26 00:01:37,920 --> 00:01:41,914 I find that difficult to believe. Tommy was one of the greatest zookeepers ever. 27 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:46,995 Ocelots were no match for him. He was a great man. Powerful and handsome. 28 00:01:47,080 --> 00:01:50,152 Handsome? I've seen footage of him. He had a big head. 29 00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:53,676 - Short, stocky legs. That was the look in the late '50s. 30 00:01:53,760 --> 00:01:55,797 -The barrel head? -It was all the rage. 31 00:01:55,880 --> 00:01:58,633 Women would swoon when Tommy shuffled into a room. 32 00:01:58,720 --> 00:02:02,634 It was a different aesthetic. None of your fashionable androgyny in his day. 33 00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:06,236 He was a man's man. I mean, look at you. Feather cut, pointy features. 34 00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:09,312 Put you in the '50s, you'd be imprisoned for being a witch. 35 00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:12,233 They'd lock you in a trunk. - This is the Mod style. 36 00:02:12,320 --> 00:02:15,233 - You're not a Mod. I am. I'm king of the Mods. 37 00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:17,994 I'm getting into the Mod scene. Check this guy out. 38 00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:20,515 Who's that berk? - Uber Mod. 39 00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:24,036 Look at his hair. It's over a metre tall. 40 00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:27,238 - That's good, is it? Yeah. I reckon I could take his title. 41 00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:31,518 With enough cheap wizz and a powerful hairdryer, I reckon I could beat that. 42 00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:35,753 Start off in Europe and take that title, and then bang! Worldwide. 43 00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:39,276 Whoa! It's gonna be enormous. It's gonna block out the sun. 44 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:41,954 -You'll be in the shadows. -Are you ill? 45 00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:46,194 Tommy hated Mods. - Thought he might. 46 00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:49,272 -They enraged him on sight. -1 thought they might. 47 00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:53,240 Cos he was a Rocker. Used to go down to Brighton at weekends. 48 00:02:53,320 --> 00:02:56,836 If he saw any Mods, he'd run at them, head-butt them off their scooters. 49 00:02:56,920 --> 00:03:01,039 - Rockabilly Rhino, we called him. Sounds like the work of a violent dwarf. 50 00:03:01,120 --> 00:03:03,680 Well, he did have violent episodes, that is true. 51 00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:07,310 But between those episodes, there was a calmer side to Tommy. 52 00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:10,950 -A flip side. Yeah. Tommy was a dreamer. 53 00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:13,953 We all dream. But do we really dream? 54 00:03:14,040 --> 00:03:15,997 Yeah. We do. 55 00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:18,674 Yeah, but do we really dream? 56 00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:21,718 - Yeah, we do. What's your point? - Tommy was a dreamer. 57 00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:25,475 He had many dreams. He had dreams about this place, Vince. 58 00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:29,235 He dreamt about a zoo so small it could fit inside a key. 59 00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:34,275 Not his best dream. He had other dreams. That was Tommy's gift. 60 00:03:34,360 --> 00:03:37,751 He could move from dream to dream, like the dream skipper. 61 00:03:37,840 --> 00:03:41,310 - Did he eat a lot of cheese? Yeah. A bit too much, actually. 62 00:03:41,400 --> 00:03:44,074 Yeah. He had a problem with calcium build-up. 63 00:03:44,160 --> 00:03:46,310 - Is that why his head was... - Yeah. 64 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:49,836 - Well, whatever. He's dead, so... - He's not dead. 65 00:03:49,920 --> 00:03:51,718 - What? He's alive. 66 00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:54,952 - He's dead. He's alive and guiding me. I sense him. 67 00:03:55,040 --> 00:03:56,633 Guiding you where? 68 00:03:56,720 --> 00:03:59,439 Guiding me about my business, thank you very much. 69 00:03:59,520 --> 00:04:03,878 About your business? You've gone wrong in your mind tank. 70 00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:08,397 - What are you on about? You've got to accept it. We all die. 71 00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:11,074 We all die. But do we really die? 72 00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:13,800 -What is that? -Something Tommy taught me. 73 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:16,269 Never stop questioning the nature of reality. 74 00:04:16,360 --> 00:04:19,352 You're questioning it, but are you really questioning it? 75 00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:21,954 -Now you're getting it. -1 am getting it. 76 00:04:22,040 --> 00:04:25,351 But am I really getting it? - That's enough now. 77 00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:28,273 It is enough. But is it really enough? 78 00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:35,480 This is a staff announcement. 79 00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:39,679 You are all fired, so pack up and ship out. Good day. 80 00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:43,833 - What's going on, Mr Fossil? Bainbridge is selling the zoo, Moon. 81 00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:46,560 - What do you mean? What part don't you get? 82 00:04:46,640 --> 00:04:50,270 Bainbridge sells zoo. They're building a road over it. 83 00:04:50,360 --> 00:04:53,113 'm gonna go to Miami and take up golf. 84 00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:56,192 -Bainbridge can't sell the zoo. -Why can't he? 85 00:04:56,280 --> 00:04:59,033 I'll tell you why. Because of Tommy. 86 00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:03,432 What do you know about Tommy? Tommy's dead. 87 00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:07,434 They never found his body. Under Zoo Regulation 409 subsection C, 88 00:05:07,520 --> 00:05:10,194 he's technically the owner and you can't sell it. 89 00:05:10,280 --> 00:05:11,475 Thanks. 90 00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:13,551 Oh, yeah? Let me show you something. 91 00:05:13,640 --> 00:05:16,712 This is a contract. It said that Tommy owned the zoo 92 00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:21,556 but in the event of his disappearance, after 10 years, it reverts to Bainbridge. 93 00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:24,712 Suck on that subsection. 94 00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:27,559 Right. 95 00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:30,954 Note to self. I hate whites. 96 00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:34,950 Hey, Naboo. How are you? 97 00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:40,112 I can't believe Bainbridge is selling up. - He's a ballbag. 98 00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:44,637 What are you gonna do? You'll be all right. You're a shaman. Specialist job. 99 00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:47,997 I might transform into a mighty hawk. - A what? 100 00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:50,230 -Mighty hawk. -Wow. 101 00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:52,994 Either that or work in Dixons. I haven't decided. 102 00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:56,471 - That's a tough call. - What about you? 103 00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:59,951 I am king of the Mods so I'll put a parka on and walk about like that, 104 00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:01,792 chewing gum. 105 00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:06,197 It's a shame, though. I love this place. Gonna miss it. 106 00:06:06,280 --> 00:06:10,513 Well, when the lion roars and the wind blows, who knows what might happen? 107 00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:12,671 What? 108 00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:14,398 Sorry. 109 00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:22,392 Balabang-mamphor... 110 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:25,996 Hey, Naboo. Naboo? 111 00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:31,397 (Drumming) 112 00:06:35,680 --> 00:06:37,557 (Drumming stops) 113 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:40,795 (Drumming) 114 00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:41,995 (Drumming stops) 115 00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:43,309 (Drumming) 116 00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:46,358 (Drumming stops and starts) 117 00:06:47,360 --> 00:06:49,556 (Drumming starts then fades) 118 00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:53,032 Don't try and take me on. I'm king of the Mods. 119 00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:57,834 Put me through to Dixon Bainbridge. 120 00:06:57,920 --> 00:07:00,753 I don't know how to dial. Thank you. 121 00:07:00,840 --> 00:07:03,275 (Phone ringing) 122 00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:05,349 Dixon Bainbridge. 123 00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:08,353 Hello, Bainbridge. It's Bobby-bob-bob. 124 00:07:08,440 --> 00:07:11,558 I'm busy, Fossil. Is there a problem with the sale of the zoo? 125 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:17,875 That's all fine and dandy. But Howard's been asking questions about Tommy. 126 00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:23,239 You catch Moon sniffing around that jungle room, do what we did last time. 127 00:07:23,320 --> 00:07:26,233 What, ride in a pick-up truck and beat up midgets? 128 00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:31,076 Lock him in there. The place is crawling with wolves. He'll be dead by dawn. 129 00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:33,879 Oh, yeah. Right. - Good day, sir. 130 00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:37,749 -Are you wearing any pants? -1 said good day, sir. 131 00:07:39,280 --> 00:07:40,714 Rhino! 132 00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:43,238 (Owl hoots) 133 00:07:46,040 --> 00:07:49,078 So this is it? - Yeah. 134 00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:51,800 The crazy times we've had here, eh? 135 00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:54,030 Remember my first day? - Yeah. 136 00:07:54,120 --> 00:07:57,954 You took me out of school. You said GCSEs weren't important. 137 00:07:58,040 --> 00:08:01,670 I remember I was on frogs. There was a newt involved. 138 00:08:01,760 --> 00:08:05,071 -1 started trembling. Never tremble with a newt. 139 00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:07,276 -Exactly. -You change its sex. 140 00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:10,239 I didn't know that. You taught me that. - Yeah. 141 00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:12,880 Remember when that llama got out? - Yeah. 142 00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:16,351 He went AWOL, he went crazy. Started hoofing the public. 143 00:08:16,440 --> 00:08:20,354 Do you remember? He was out there hoofing doctors, hoofing vicars. 144 00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:24,354 He got in a gift shop, put a moustache on. A girl said, "Can I have a pencil?" 145 00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:28,195 Hooo! Hoofed her out of the shop. 146 00:08:28,280 --> 00:08:33,753 Ah... No one could get near that llama. But you, you got off on it. 147 00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:36,400 It's one of the few ways to calm a llama down. 148 00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:38,357 Calm a llama down. 149 00:08:38,440 --> 00:08:40,590 J' Calmallama deep down in the ocean 150 00:08:40,680 --> 00:08:43,752 J' Blue like a barnacle Sittin' in a tight place 151 00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:46,878 J' Laughing like a monkey, I'm pulling like a China boy 152 00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:49,679 Caraway, caraway, caraway, noise Being, tikka masala 153 00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:52,593 J' Being, tikka masala, oh! 154 00:08:52,680 --> 00:08:54,273 Tooth, tooth, phoot! J1 155 00:08:58,680 --> 00:09:02,594 Oh, well. I've got you something. A little gift there. 156 00:09:02,680 --> 00:09:05,240 - Oh, thanks. Little something. Memento. 157 00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:07,994 When you look at that, you'll think of me. 158 00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:12,993 - What did you get me? - Er... 159 00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:15,117 Oh. Erm... 160 00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:17,752 Oh, I got you this. 161 00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:21,949 -Where did you get this? -1 didn't steal it. 162 00:09:22,040 --> 00:09:24,759 - Where did you find it? Outside the old jungle room. 163 00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:27,480 - The old jungle room? This is Tommy's necklace. 164 00:09:27,560 --> 00:09:29,597 -So? Do you see what this means? 165 00:09:29,680 --> 00:09:30,829  166 00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:34,390 Jungle room shut down ten years ago. Tommy disappeared ten years ago. 167 00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:38,713 Shut down ten years ago. Tommy disappeared ten years ago. Necklace... 168 00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:42,554 Tommy's in the jungle room. We've got to get him. 169 00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:45,200 He can stop the sale of the zoo. Let's go! 170 00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:47,590 (Mad bongo drumming) 171 00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:34,310 Hey. How's it going? 172 00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:36,710 - What are you wearing? - What? 173 00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:41,237 You can't go in the jungle dressed like a Camden leisure pirate. 174 00:10:41,320 --> 00:10:44,517 - I'm king of the Mods. - We're in a rainforest. 175 00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:47,991 So? I might have to do a benefit for some pine cones. 176 00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:51,630 The forest is no respecter of fashion. - Really? 177 00:10:51,720 --> 00:10:54,075 Look. Check out what I've got going on. 178 00:10:54,160 --> 00:10:56,834 This is my look, yeah? Forest casual. 179 00:10:56,920 --> 00:10:59,912 -Forest casual for the leafy gent. -What's this? 180 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:02,719 Get off my juju beads. - Juju beads? 181 00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:05,440 - They're Sugar Puffs. Shut up. This is my look. 182 00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:08,638 - You look like a knob. We'll see who survives here. 183 00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:10,358 You little pimp. 184 00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:26,233 This is ridiculous. I mean, we're lost. 185 00:11:26,320 --> 00:11:31,349 How will we get back to the zoo? - Don't worry about that, OK? 186 00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:35,195 Tommy taught me an efficient system of jungle navigation. 187 00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:38,796 Ever since we set off, I've been leaving a trail of sweets. 188 00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:42,111 We'll be able to retrace our steps, don't you worry. 189 00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:47,036 - How are we gonna find Tommy? Calm down. I've got it under control. 190 00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:49,191 You've got to be at one with this place. 191 00:11:49,280 --> 00:11:52,159 You've got to get with the bracken, move with the moss. 192 00:11:52,240 --> 00:11:54,800 You've got to speak the forest's language. 193 00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:57,793 Cor-demahek-ayyy... 194 00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:01,430 Cor-misahek... J1 195 00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:06,239 I don't think the forest liked what you were saying. 196 00:12:06,320 --> 00:12:08,152 It's just that one tree, OK? 197 00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:12,276 You having fun? - (Wolf howls) 198 00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:14,431 What was that? - Owls. 199 00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:17,638 Pretending to be wolves? - They're good mimics. 200 00:12:17,720 --> 00:12:21,190 - What? It's OK. I know how to deal with wolves. 201 00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:24,910 You simply punch it on the nose. - That's sharks, isn't it? 202 00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:28,277 Works for any animal. Something Tommy taught me. 203 00:12:28,360 --> 00:12:31,876 He had a lot of wisdom in his head. - It was big enough. 204 00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:35,919 - Don't bad-mouth my hero. Will you ever shut up about Tommy? 205 00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:39,470 Don't you understand anything? We're here to find him. 206 00:12:39,560 --> 00:12:41,915 Rescue him, bring him back. 207 00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:44,037 Do you love him? 208 00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:49,076 You say one more thing about Tommy and you're on your own. 209 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:54,389 Did you kiss him? 210 00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:03,909 (Wolf howls) - Howard? 211 00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:13,717 (Wolf) Ben Sherman. Mmm... 212 00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:39,273 Howard? 213 00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:43,793 Howard? 214 00:13:43,880 --> 00:13:47,157 (J' Guitar wailing) 215 00:13:50,480 --> 00:13:53,836 -Who are you? -1 go by many names. 216 00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:57,877 Well, what are they? 217 00:13:57,960 --> 00:14:01,635 I'm getting round to that in my own good mystical time. 218 00:14:02,520 --> 00:14:06,957 Some call me Shatoon, bringer of corn. 219 00:14:07,040 --> 00:14:11,750 Others call me Mickey Nine, the dream weaver. 220 00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:14,195 Some call me Photoshop. 221 00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:18,035 Others call me Trenu, the boiler. 222 00:14:18,120 --> 00:14:21,476 Some call me Marjorie Keek. 223 00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:23,756 Others call me Captain Mas... 224 00:14:23,840 --> 00:14:28,311 Others call me... R-R-Rubbady-pubbady. 225 00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:31,153 -Look, I haven't really got time for this. -Oi! 226 00:14:31,240 --> 00:14:35,393 - Are you gonna tell me your real name? - My name is Rudi. 227 00:14:35,480 --> 00:14:38,950 Rudi Van Der Saniel, jazz fusion guitarist. 228 00:14:39,040 --> 00:14:41,270 (J1 Plays fast lick) 229 00:14:41,360 --> 00:14:45,558 You are searching for something, yes? - Yeah. How do you know? 230 00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:49,235 -1 know all things. -Basically, I'm looking for my mate... 231 00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:54,872 Do not tell me. Perhaps what you seek is inside yourself. 232 00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:59,113 - No, it's not. Damn. That usually works. 233 00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:04,274 Well, then, let us see what is behind the door of Kakundu. 234 00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:07,517 (Creaking) 235 00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:09,750 (Groans) 236 00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:14,192 Ah. The sacred pipe. 237 00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:18,990 - This is what you seek, yes? No. I'm looking for my mate Howard. 238 00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:22,789 I told you not to tell me. Your friend is dead. 239 00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:26,396 - What? Eaten by wolves. 240 00:15:26,480 --> 00:15:28,949 By what? 241 00:15:29,040 --> 00:15:30,599 Wolves. 242 00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:37,158 Oh, here's your pipe. 243 00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:39,675 Thanks, anyway. 244 00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:42,798 Wait. You have passed the test. 245 00:15:42,880 --> 00:15:46,111 - What test? The pipe test. 246 00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:52,271 Most men would have taken the pipe for it is worth well over 35 Euros. 247 00:15:52,360 --> 00:15:55,318 But you have an honest heart. You brought it back to me. 248 00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:59,189 So I will help you. Your friend is not dead. He is alive. 249 00:15:59,280 --> 00:16:02,318 But he is deep in the centre of the jungle room. 250 00:16:02,400 --> 00:16:05,711 -Can you take me there? -1 cannot take you the whole way 251 00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:07,791 for it is far too dangerous. 252 00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:13,637 But I can take you some of the way. Hop upon my small section of Woodstock. 253 00:16:13,720 --> 00:16:15,438 Right. 254 00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:18,676 Let the journey commence. 255 00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:28,918 -Is that it? -1 can go no further. 256 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:32,038 - Oh, great. Do not be afraid, pretty lady. 257 00:16:32,120 --> 00:16:36,796 If you are in danger, play this simple tune and I will come to your aid. 258 00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:39,110 (J1 Plays three notes) 259 00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:43,159 Wow. Thanks, Rudi. You've been great. I don't know what to say. 260 00:16:43,240 --> 00:16:46,471 Don't say anything. Simply kiss my balls. 261 00:16:46,560 --> 00:16:49,916 - I'm not doing that. You have passed the test. 262 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:52,719 - What test? The ball test. 263 00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:55,713 Most men would have kissed my balls for they are worth... 264 00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:58,030 - Bye. Good luck. 265 00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:29,034 Hello, stranger. You look weary from your travels. 266 00:17:29,120 --> 00:17:33,239 Come. Sit down and warm yourself by the fire. 267 00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:34,993 Thank you. 268 00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:43,400 Only two kinds of people venture this far into the depths of the jungle. 269 00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:46,916 A fool or an idiot. 270 00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:51,119 Well, if risking life and limb to rescue a great man makes me a fool, 271 00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:53,032 then call me a fool. 272 00:17:53,120 --> 00:17:55,157 -Well, fool... -Thanks. 273 00:17:55,240 --> 00:18:00,918 This person must be very important. - He is important. He's my mentor. 274 00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:02,673 He's my hero. 275 00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:07,436 Maybe this hero is closer than you think, Howard Moon. 276 00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:12,949 - How do you know my name? I thought you'd recognise my voice. 277 00:18:13,040 --> 00:18:15,554 Oh, my God. Allan Holdsworth. 278 00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:18,792 No, you numb nut. It is I, Tommy. 279 00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:19,950 Tommy! 280 00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:23,719 Whoa, now! 281 00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:27,111 Woo! What's happening there? 282 00:18:29,120 --> 00:18:30,918 Howard? 283 00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:40,239 (Wolf howling) 284 00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:45,955 (J1 Plays different three notes) 285 00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:48,956 All right, mate? What's the problem? 286 00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:51,953 -Where's Rudi? -The geezer with the Afro? 287 00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:55,556 Oh, no. This happens all the time. You played the wrong tune. 288 00:18:55,640 --> 00:18:57,597 He's doo-dee-do. I'm doo-dee-da. 289 00:18:57,680 --> 00:19:00,433 He should get it changed. Losing a lot of business. 290 00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:02,989 Why? What do you do? - I'm a locksmith. 291 00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:07,153 You haven't seen my mate Howard, have you? Kind of tall, scruffy hair. 292 00:19:07,240 --> 00:19:08,833 Small eyes like a crab. 293 00:19:08,920 --> 00:19:11,673 He's talking to a geezer with a big head. 294 00:19:11,760 --> 00:19:14,912 Excellent. Cheers. Thanks, mate. See you later. 295 00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:18,709 Don't blow that wrong number again, will you? 296 00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:20,996 What, I walk home, do I? 297 00:19:21,840 --> 00:19:23,478 Brilliant. 298 00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:27,913 I have survived only by eating cheese. 299 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:31,789 And as the saying goes, you are what you eat. 300 00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:33,917 And I am freaking cheese! 301 00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:40,076 I have built up an enormous fatty deposit about my face, much like a camel. 302 00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:42,151 But you can barely notice. 303 00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:44,880 Yeah. Tommy, we've got to get you back. 304 00:19:44,960 --> 00:19:47,839 You're the only one who can stop the sale of the zoo. 305 00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:50,275 -Hey, Howard. -Ah! A Mod! 306 00:19:50,360 --> 00:19:52,510 Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. 307 00:19:52,600 --> 00:19:55,513 - What are you doing? I am a Rocker! He is a Mod! 308 00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:57,830 We are mortal enemies! - He's a friend. 309 00:19:57,920 --> 00:20:00,070 Oh, sorry. 310 00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:03,755 Who's this yellow lunatic? - Vince, this is Tommy. 311 00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:06,639 -1 found him. I thought you said he was handsome. 312 00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:10,475 -Shh. That's OK, Howard. The Mod is right. 313 00:20:10,560 --> 00:20:12,836 I haven't aged well. 314 00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:15,116 But let me tell you something. 315 00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:18,272 Beauty is but skin deep, my pointy friend. 316 00:20:18,360 --> 00:20:21,478 Get ready for some Tommy magic. Here comes the wisdom. 317 00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:26,077 Yes, my face is hideous to behold. 318 00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:30,791 But when I dance, oh, how my beauty shines forth 319 00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:33,269 and lights up the jungle! 320 00:20:34,120 --> 00:20:35,918 J' Cheese is a kind of meat 321 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:38,310 A tasty yellow beef 322 00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:40,516 J' I milk it from my teat 323 00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:43,194 J' But I try to be discreet 324 00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:45,794 Ooh, cheese 325 00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:47,473 Ooh, cheese J1 326 00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:49,870 Is that your hero? 327 00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:53,476 - Yeah. He's gone a bit wrong. - I'm gonna stick with Jagger. 328 00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:55,756 (Human beatbox) 329 00:20:57,240 --> 00:20:58,196  330 00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:00,669 -Tommy, that's enough. -Comejoin me. 331 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:04,799 No, this isn't a time for dancing, OK? We've got a long journey ahead. 332 00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:08,430 Fools. I know how to get out of the jungle instantly. 333 00:21:08,520 --> 00:21:13,037 - How? Gather round. I will reveal all. 334 00:21:13,120 --> 00:21:15,191 Come closer. 335 00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:17,715 Not you, Fire. 336 00:21:18,840 --> 00:21:22,037 I leave this jungle every night. - How? 337 00:21:22,120 --> 00:21:25,875 Through the dreams that come with cheese. 338 00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:32,671 Mmm... I'm skiing in France. I'm flying a boat. 339 00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:35,957 I'm turning tricks in Chad! Cheese dreams! 340 00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:38,600 'm off my ever-loving tits! 341 00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:41,593 - Come on, Babybel. J' Cheese is a kind of meat 342 00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:43,591 A tasty yellow beef! J1 343 00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:54,558 Stop. Stop. 344 00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:59,237 I can't go on any further. I am too old. 345 00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:02,312 You and your wife must go on without me. 346 00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:06,473 But we're nearly there. We've got to get back, stop the sale of the zoo. 347 00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:09,552 I am slowing you down and the wolves are getting closer. 348 00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:12,439 You must go on alone. - Come on. Let's go. 349 00:22:12,520 --> 00:22:16,593 I'm not leaving him. If we go back without him, it's all been for nothing. 350 00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:20,071 Howard, I have a plan to save the zoo. 351 00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:23,994 - What plan? First, you must kill me. 352 00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:27,277 --1 can't do that. -1 could do that. 353 00:22:27,360 --> 00:22:31,354 Do you mind? This is a poignant moment between me and my hero. 354 00:22:31,440 --> 00:22:35,434 Listen, Howard. Remember the first thing I taught you? 355 00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:39,115 That dolphins are evil. - No. The other thing. 356 00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:42,556 --We all die. -We all die. 357 00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:44,631 But do we really die? 358 00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:49,191 Perhaps even in death I can save the zoo. 359 00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:53,069 But you must help me, Howard Moon. 360 00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:57,119 -1 think I understand. - You do understand. 361 00:22:57,200 --> 00:23:01,671 But do you really understand? - Yeah. 362 00:23:01,760 --> 00:23:04,354 Now you must be the hero 363 00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:07,239 and do what must be done. 364 00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:17,797 Have you got anything bigger? 365 00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:19,439  366 00:23:19,520 --> 00:23:22,114 (Tommy shouts) 367 00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:25,830 (Tommy) Yes... No... Oh, great. A little to the left. 368 00:23:25,920 --> 00:23:30,596 Oh, good. No! Oooh! Nice. 369 00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:36,709 Aaahh! Oh, not again! Yes! 370 00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:40,077 Oooh, you're killing me! Oh, that's good! 371 00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:45,278 - Have you done it? He's in here. Don't prod him. 372 00:23:45,360 --> 00:23:49,399 - How's this gonna help? Don't worry. I've got a plan. 373 00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:53,110 With this bag of cheesy gratings, we'll save the zoo. I'm the hero now. 374 00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:56,318 All we've gotta do now is get back before the wolves arrive. 375 00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:58,198 (Wolves howl) 376 00:24:00,280 --> 00:24:03,193 Have you got another plan? - Punch them on the nose? 377 00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:06,159 I'm gonna be down here weeping. 378 00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:09,278 I don't wanna die. I've got so much to give. 379 00:24:09,360 --> 00:24:11,351 Howard? - What? 380 00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:14,478 I think it's gonna be all right. Look. 381 00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:16,233 Mod wolves. 382 00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:20,232 And I'm king of the Mods. 383 00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:23,870 (J1 Hymn-like Hammond organ chords) 384 00:24:25,320 --> 00:24:27,994 (J1 Hammond organ groove) 385 00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:21,119 See ya. 386 00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:23,794 -It's locked. -Don't worry. Leave it to me. 387 00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:25,632 Check this out. 388 00:25:25,720 --> 00:25:27,836 (J1 Plays three notes) 389 00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:32,556 Oh, no. Not you again, mate. I told you, I'm a locksmith. 390 00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:34,711 - Can you open this? - Fair enough. 391 00:25:34,800 --> 00:25:37,838 (J1 Hammond organ groove) 392 00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:43,590 Oi, where's my fee? 393 00:25:43,680 --> 00:25:47,310 Erm... You can have this pipe. It's worth over 35 Euros. 394 00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:49,437 There you go. 395 00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:52,160 -What's this? -Change. 396 00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:05,915 Animals come and go, roads go on forever. Here's to Tarmac and to me. 397 00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:09,595 -Can you just sign, please? -All right, all right. Pen. 398 00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:14,390 Here, Bainbridge. You just click the end like this. Clickety-click, clickety... 399 00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:16,915 Yeah, I know how it works. 400 00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:21,756 - Wait. What the hump are you doing here? 401 00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:24,878 We thought you might want cheese to go with your wine. 402 00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:28,351 -1 hate cheese. I'm quite partial to a bit of cheese. 403 00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:30,477 I love cheese. 404 00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:33,359 - Mmm. Cracker? 405 00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:36,353 I don't use them. Quite meaty. What is it? 406 00:26:36,440 --> 00:26:38,556 Tommyzola. - What? 407 00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:41,553 Tommyzola. It's a kind of jungle cheese. 408 00:26:41,640 --> 00:26:45,838 - Superb. Can you sign? We have a lot to do. 409 00:26:45,920 --> 00:26:48,196 I will sign. - Good. 410 00:26:48,280 --> 00:26:51,159 But will I really sign? - What? 411 00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:54,835 -Do you want to sell the zoo or not? -1 do want to sell the zoo. 412 00:26:54,920 --> 00:26:58,470 But do I really want to sell the zoo? - This is ludicrous. 413 00:26:58,560 --> 00:27:02,713 It is, but is it really ludicrous? - We're leaving now. 414 00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:06,236 - You are. But are you really leaving? 415 00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:10,553 -Bainbridge, you're acting crazy. -1 am acting crazy. 416 00:27:10,640 --> 00:27:14,554 - But am I really acting crazy? - It's the end of the show. 417 00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:17,439 It is the end of the show, but is it really the... 418 00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:19,431 (J1 Funky groove)