1
00:00:05,720 --> 00:00:08,220
(GATE CREAKING)

2
00:00:25,206 --> 00:00:27,706
(SCREECHING)

3
00:00:42,524 --> 00:00:45,024
(DOG HOWLING)

4
00:01:06,648 --> 00:01:09,148
(SCREECHING)

5
00:01:09,984 --> 00:01:12,484
(INDISTINCT WHISPERING)

6
00:01:19,227 --> 00:01:20,427
(CACKLING)

7
00:01:20,428 --> 00:01:22,928
(CRYPTKEEPER SPEAKING)

8
00:01:28,803 --> 00:01:31,670
So, then I was over in India,

9
00:01:32,273 --> 00:01:36,376
you know, and I whipped up
this little monsoon.

10
00:01:36,377 --> 00:01:39,980
Man, I must have reaped
hundreds that day.

11
00:01:39,981 --> 00:01:42,481
Hundreds, just like that.

12
00:01:42,784 --> 00:01:46,083
-Really?
-Oh, yes. Oh, yes.

13
00:01:47,121 --> 00:01:53,811
Of course, I normally prefer to take souls
one at a time, one at a time,

14
00:01:54,128 --> 00:01:57,731
but, you know,
I had taken some vacation days

15
00:01:57,732 --> 00:02:03,652
and it was the end of the month,
and, so, you know how it goes.

16
00:02:05,039 --> 00:02:09,142
By the way, did I mention
that I was in Europe?

17
00:02:09,143 --> 00:02:13,180
There was an Elvis sighting there,
so I figured I'd check it out,

18
00:02:13,181 --> 00:02:19,021
but it was just a fat guy in a sequin suit.
I took him anyway.

19
00:02:19,120 --> 00:02:24,124
CRYPT KEEPER: Is this guy boring or what?
All he ever talks about is himself.

20
00:02:24,125 --> 00:02:29,529
I gotta remember that the next time he
comes to town and wants to get together.

21
00:02:29,530 --> 00:02:30,964
Oh, really?

22
00:02:30,965 --> 00:02:35,545
-That's very interesting.
-Yes, I thought so, too.

23
00:02:35,870 --> 00:02:38,370
But enough about me.

24
00:02:38,606 --> 00:02:43,143
-I want to tell you why I am here.
-I know why you're here,

25
00:02:43,144 --> 00:02:46,179
to eat my food and drink my liquor.

26
00:02:46,180 --> 00:02:50,446
-More champagne?
-Why, sure. Thanks.

27
00:02:53,087 --> 00:02:56,577
Who are you saving the good stuff for?

28
00:02:57,859 --> 00:03:01,094
You know, you and I have been friends
for a long time,

29
00:03:01,095 --> 00:03:04,745
and much as I enjoy these little visits,

30
00:03:05,566 --> 00:03:11,538
it seems to me that this tomb is not
quite big enough for the both of us.

31
00:03:11,539 --> 00:03:14,007
What's that supposed to mean?

32
00:03:14,008 --> 00:03:18,570
I want to propose a contest
between you and me.

33
00:03:19,347 --> 00:03:22,805
-Winner take all.
-And the loser?

34
00:03:25,620 --> 00:03:28,120
You're on, pal.

35
00:03:28,923 --> 00:03:32,620
-One.
-Two.

36
00:03:37,498 --> 00:03:40,058
My rock beats your scissors.

37
00:03:41,736 --> 00:03:44,500
-Damn.
-Give me your hand.

38
00:03:51,345 --> 00:03:58,051
Well, kiddies, looks like your pal, the Crypt
Keeper, is in the fright of his life... Death...

39
00:03:58,052 --> 00:04:01,855
Which is kind of like the woman
in tonight's terror tale.

40
00:04:01,856 --> 00:04:05,792
It's a nasty little chopping spree I call...

41
00:04:05,793 --> 00:04:07,060
Chop!

42
00:04:07,061 --> 00:04:08,361
(EXCLAlMS)

43
00:04:08,362 --> 00:04:10,464
..."The Assassin."

44
00:04:10,465 --> 00:04:12,965
That didn't hurt one bit.

45
00:04:13,067 --> 00:04:15,567
-Second round?
-Go for it.

46
00:05:03,017 --> 00:05:05,517
Honey.

47
00:05:18,733 --> 00:05:21,233
Perfect.

48
00:05:21,669 --> 00:05:24,365
-I love you.
-I love you.

49
00:05:25,206 --> 00:05:27,641
-I want to take you away this weekend.
-Where to?

50
00:05:27,642 --> 00:05:29,075
Anywhere you want.

51
00:05:29,076 --> 00:05:34,756
-Just as long as you're happy.
-I'm happy when I'm with you.

52
00:05:35,683 --> 00:05:36,783
See you tonight.

53
00:05:36,784 --> 00:05:40,887
Don't forget, the Seldons
are coming for dinner.

54
00:05:40,888 --> 00:05:43,738
How you do it I'll never know.

55
00:05:46,327 --> 00:05:48,495
Janet McKay, you are quite a woman.

56
00:05:48,496 --> 00:05:52,566
Of course I am, silly. What else would I be?

57
00:06:13,454 --> 00:06:15,954
(GASPS)

58
00:06:16,891 --> 00:06:20,019
Excuse me, may I help you?

59
00:06:20,094 --> 00:06:22,262
I hope so, Mrs. McKay.
My name's Simone Bardou.

60
00:06:22,263 --> 00:06:24,130
I'm with the
Los Angeles Police Department.

61
00:06:24,131 --> 00:06:26,066
I'd like to ask you a few questions
about your husband.

62
00:06:26,067 --> 00:06:28,201
-My husband?
-Yes. When do you expect him home?

63
00:06:28,202 --> 00:06:31,671
-At 7:00. May I ask what this is all about?
-Routine matter, ma'am.

64
00:06:31,672 --> 00:06:33,874
When you say 7:00,
do you mean he leaves work at 7:00

65
00:06:33,875 --> 00:06:35,709
or he actually arrives home at 7:00?

66
00:06:35,710 --> 00:06:39,940
I think I'd better call
my husband right now.

67
00:06:43,417 --> 00:06:47,087
That really won't be necessary. As I said,
the questions are merely a formality.

68
00:06:47,088 --> 00:06:48,188
I think you should know

69
00:06:48,189 --> 00:06:51,057
that my husband and I have friends
in the Police Department, Miss Bardou.

70
00:06:51,058 --> 00:06:52,559
Friends in high places.

71
00:06:52,560 --> 00:06:54,027
Do you know Captain Landau?

72
00:06:54,028 --> 00:06:56,296
Yes ma'am. I know the Captain very well.

73
00:06:56,297 --> 00:06:59,699
-You do?
-lt was his idea I speak with you alone.

74
00:06:59,700 --> 00:07:03,603
We believe that you'd be in great danger
if your husband ever found out I was here.

75
00:07:03,604 --> 00:07:07,507
Danger? What're you talking about?
Jeremy would never hurt anybody.

76
00:07:07,508 --> 00:07:09,409
Perhaps not the Jeremy you know.

77
00:07:09,410 --> 00:07:10,944
But the man I'm acquainted with

78
00:07:10,945 --> 00:07:16,785
would kill a man as casually
as he'd pull the wings off a fly.

79
00:07:18,853 --> 00:07:21,353
You're crazy.

80
00:07:26,227 --> 00:07:28,727
"Say goodnight, Gracie."

81
00:07:38,706 --> 00:07:41,206
(MOANS)

82
00:07:41,375 --> 00:07:43,476
The bitch went for the phone.
I had no choice.

83
00:07:43,477 --> 00:07:45,412
TODD: Come on.
She had you nailed from the get go.

84
00:07:45,413 --> 00:07:47,948
-SIMONE: You're wrong.
-William, am I wrong?

85
00:07:47,949 --> 00:07:49,616
WILLIAM: From the get go.

86
00:07:49,617 --> 00:07:53,286
You walk right into my house, cop or
no cop, I'm gonna blow your head off.

87
00:07:53,287 --> 00:07:54,854
-Wasn't very smart.
-Smart?

88
00:07:54,855 --> 00:07:57,390
We're not even talking about smart,
don't mention the other thing.

89
00:07:57,391 --> 00:07:58,825
What a boner.

90
00:07:58,826 --> 00:08:01,661
You're both so full of shit,
like you could have done better.

91
00:08:01,662 --> 00:08:06,322
TODD: Hello, cloak-and-dagger 101.
SIMONE: Shut up!

92
00:08:06,467 --> 00:08:07,934
She's coming around.

93
00:08:07,935 --> 00:08:09,002
(MUMBLES)

94
00:08:09,003 --> 00:08:10,403
What did she say?

95
00:08:10,404 --> 00:08:13,273
Well, it sounds like "closer, closer."

96
00:08:13,274 --> 00:08:15,842
She wants the drink moved closer.
She's thirsty.

97
00:08:15,843 --> 00:08:18,979
No. If she wanted a drink,
she'd say, "drink" or "Scotch."

98
00:08:18,980 --> 00:08:21,147
She wouldn't say, "Puh." Use your head.

99
00:08:21,148 --> 00:08:23,316
Who cares how she says it.
Just give her the drink.

100
00:08:23,317 --> 00:08:25,817
No wait.

101
00:08:26,087 --> 00:08:27,921
(MUMBLES)

102
00:08:27,922 --> 00:08:30,516
Look, look, see.

103
00:08:31,325 --> 00:08:33,825
Coaster.

104
00:08:36,163 --> 00:08:38,064
Use a coaster.

105
00:08:38,065 --> 00:08:40,565
-Yes.
-Damn it!

106
00:08:41,002 --> 00:08:43,803
How did I get stuck with the two of you
as my clean up crew?

107
00:08:43,804 --> 00:08:45,739
Listen, I would look in the mirror
if I were you, okay?

108
00:08:45,740 --> 00:08:49,476
'Cause I'm not the only one who's got this
bitch figured out back-asswards, all right?

109
00:08:49,477 --> 00:08:51,411
Question time, lady.

110
00:08:51,412 --> 00:08:54,481
This Captain Landau you mentioned,
fact or fiction?

111
00:08:54,482 --> 00:08:58,792
-Don't answer. I don't want to know.
-Fiction.

112
00:08:59,387 --> 00:09:02,689
She fed you a line. You took it in the cheek
hook, line and sinker.

113
00:09:02,690 --> 00:09:05,925
Now, I beg your pardon,
but who is stuck with whom here?

114
00:09:05,926 --> 00:09:07,360
Look, I couldn't take the chance.

115
00:09:07,361 --> 00:09:09,396
Why would she lie to me about
something like that anyway?

116
00:09:09,397 --> 00:09:11,931
'Cause she's onto your
pathetic cop routine, that's why.

117
00:09:11,932 --> 00:09:13,033
Bullshit.

118
00:09:13,034 --> 00:09:15,702
Something about this bitch
that makes me very nervous.

119
00:09:15,703 --> 00:09:18,873
Why would you lie to me like that?

120
00:09:19,140 --> 00:09:20,807
Because you're dumb.

121
00:09:20,808 --> 00:09:26,578
No policeman in his right mind
would break into someone's home.

122
00:09:28,115 --> 00:09:29,983
What a mess.

123
00:09:29,984 --> 00:09:32,986
Women are always bleeding
on the furniture.

124
00:09:32,987 --> 00:09:35,088
Let's grab some munchies.

125
00:09:35,089 --> 00:09:37,919
Sorry. Hope that doesn't stain.

126
00:09:40,895 --> 00:09:43,196
That's a real kicker.

127
00:09:43,197 --> 00:09:47,100
Your hubby used to glare at me just
like that, real fire in his eyes.

128
00:09:47,101 --> 00:09:50,970
-He ever tell you about us? I bet not.
-What about you?

129
00:09:50,971 --> 00:09:54,061
We were an item once upon a time.

130
00:09:54,108 --> 00:09:58,178
But we'll save the girl talk for later,
shall we?

131
00:09:58,179 --> 00:10:01,014
I don't know how you eat those things.

132
00:10:01,015 --> 00:10:03,450
It's grain. It's good for you.

133
00:10:03,451 --> 00:10:08,088
I love the decor in the kitchen.
Did you do that yourself, ma'am?

134
00:10:08,089 --> 00:10:11,858
Would somebody please tell me what this
is all about?

135
00:10:11,859 --> 00:10:14,609
I have a dinner party tonight.

136
00:10:15,196 --> 00:10:17,130
That's a good one.

137
00:10:17,131 --> 00:10:21,151
She has a dinner party tonight. I like that.

138
00:10:22,103 --> 00:10:24,370
Wanna know what this is about?

139
00:10:24,371 --> 00:10:27,407
-We're here to kill Ronald Wald.
-Who?

140
00:10:27,408 --> 00:10:31,511
-SlMONE: Your husband.
-My husband's name is Jeremy McKay.

141
00:10:31,512 --> 00:10:35,148
But in a former life it was Ronald Wald.

142
00:10:35,149 --> 00:10:38,918
Okay, Ronald was an operative for a covert
group within the ClA,

143
00:10:38,919 --> 00:10:41,955
set up to eradicate
certain problematic situations.

144
00:10:41,956 --> 00:10:43,623
Radicals on US soil.

145
00:10:43,624 --> 00:10:45,525
Hush-hush situations
where the President felt

146
00:10:45,526 --> 00:10:48,261
it was better for that individual
to just disappear

147
00:10:48,262 --> 00:10:51,865
than for the entire nation
to just air its dirty laundry.

148
00:10:51,866 --> 00:10:55,096
My husband worked for the President?

149
00:10:55,836 --> 00:11:00,256
-Your husband was an assassin.
-One of the best.

150
00:11:00,407 --> 00:11:03,009
And then a few years ago,
he just up and disappeared.

151
00:11:03,010 --> 00:11:04,344
Left a letter behind saying

152
00:11:04,345 --> 00:11:06,980
he thought that The Company
was trying to set him up.

153
00:11:06,981 --> 00:11:11,818
Of course, they were.
But in our line of work, you don't just quit.

154
00:11:11,819 --> 00:11:16,222
The Company retires you
when they're ready not before.

155
00:11:16,223 --> 00:11:18,424
And this man you think is my husband,

156
00:11:18,425 --> 00:11:22,428
this Ronald Wald,
nobody has seen him since?

157
00:11:22,429 --> 00:11:26,189
Exactly. Vanished into thin air until now.

158
00:11:28,469 --> 00:11:31,199
No. No!

159
00:11:32,239 --> 00:11:35,640
You idiots. You have the wrong man.

160
00:11:36,310 --> 00:11:42,050
This isn't my husband.
This doesn't even look like my husband.

161
00:11:43,083 --> 00:11:45,583
This...

162
00:11:48,189 --> 00:11:52,625
This is my husband.
This is the man I'm married to.

163
00:11:52,626 --> 00:11:55,061
Jeremy McKay, see?

164
00:11:55,062 --> 00:11:59,863
I said the man is an AWOL assassin
for the ClA.

165
00:12:00,134 --> 00:12:02,068
He has been missing for five years.

166
00:12:02,069 --> 00:12:07,440
Do you really think he could avoid us for
this long walking around in his own skin?

167
00:12:07,441 --> 00:12:10,843
He's changed his appearance,
you stupid cow.

168
00:12:10,844 --> 00:12:16,954
He's changed his hair, his face,
his fingerprints. He's a new man.

169
00:12:17,117 --> 00:12:21,154
-But he got sloppy. He forgot one thing.
-His teeth.

170
00:12:21,155 --> 00:12:23,456
That's right, his teeth.

171
00:12:23,457 --> 00:12:26,559
Two weeks ago, we matched a set of
dental records on the NSA computer

172
00:12:26,560 --> 00:12:29,662
with a Ronald Wald and a J. McKay
in Chatsworth, California.

173
00:12:29,663 --> 00:12:33,099
Now, after all these years,
it just so happens

174
00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:37,203
that your husband decided that he wanted
to have a little problem tooth capped.

175
00:12:37,204 --> 00:12:40,644
That little vanity cost him his cover.

176
00:12:41,308 --> 00:12:43,009
Ring a bell?

177
00:12:43,010 --> 00:12:45,510
I don't understand.

178
00:12:45,846 --> 00:12:51,546
Mrs. McKay, your husband has
some very unusual bridgework.

179
00:12:52,720 --> 00:12:55,416
So unusual, in fact,

180
00:12:55,789 --> 00:12:59,292
that his dentist plugged into
a dental forum on the lnternet

181
00:12:59,293 --> 00:13:01,794
to get some help
from his fellow tooth fairies.

182
00:13:01,795 --> 00:13:06,232
Now, it just happens, on pure fluke, one of
our spooks was listening to the exchange.

183
00:13:06,233 --> 00:13:09,836
Well, we ran his x-rays
through our computer, well...

184
00:13:09,837 --> 00:13:10,903
Here we are.

185
00:13:10,904 --> 00:13:15,408
Your husband's been a very bad boy.
Time to clean up his mess.

186
00:13:15,409 --> 00:13:18,177
It's going to take me about three hours
to set up.

187
00:13:18,178 --> 00:13:20,880
I'd like to get started,
if it's all right with you.

188
00:13:20,881 --> 00:13:24,317
Do it. Take her to the basement.
Put a gun in her mouth.

189
00:13:24,318 --> 00:13:28,187
We have a no witness policy here,
Mrs. McKay. I'm sure you understand.

190
00:13:28,188 --> 00:13:30,423
Let's go for a walk.

191
00:13:30,424 --> 00:13:32,659
(WILLIAM SCATTING)

192
00:13:32,660 --> 00:13:35,228
I haven't done anything, please.

193
00:13:35,229 --> 00:13:39,489
Chalk it up to being born
helpless and pretty.

194
00:13:43,070 --> 00:13:45,204
Okay, here we go.

195
00:13:45,205 --> 00:13:49,575
Problem is we don't want anybody getting
in on our business.

196
00:13:49,576 --> 00:13:51,044
Throw light on the subject.

197
00:13:51,045 --> 00:13:53,313
I don't wanna frighten you in the dark,
you know.

198
00:13:53,314 --> 00:13:56,115
Coming down these stairs,
you know, this is scary.

199
00:13:56,116 --> 00:13:57,350
Look at that.

200
00:13:57,351 --> 00:14:00,420
You know, Mrs. McKay, it's always the
toughest first time to whack somebody.

201
00:14:00,421 --> 00:14:02,221
After that, you generally get used to it.

202
00:14:02,222 --> 00:14:06,092
Well, not you, of course,
because it will be your only time.

203
00:14:06,093 --> 00:14:08,461
Got one little critique for you, though.
The kitchen floor.

204
00:14:08,462 --> 00:14:11,364
Ceramic tile is out.
Kitchen carpeting is the way to go.

205
00:14:11,365 --> 00:14:13,433
Trust me, I don't know
if you can tell that or not

206
00:14:13,434 --> 00:14:15,501
but just look at me
and you'll know it's true.

207
00:14:15,502 --> 00:14:18,938
Oh, gee, I don't want to get
into the whole thing, you know.

208
00:14:18,939 --> 00:14:21,439
(BUZZING)

209
00:14:22,209 --> 00:14:23,710
I like this.

210
00:14:23,711 --> 00:14:26,979
This is a nice set up you got here.

211
00:14:26,980 --> 00:14:29,082
Let me ask you a question, Mrs. McKay.
What do you prefer?

212
00:14:29,083 --> 00:14:32,893
Do you prefer the StairMaster or the bike?

213
00:14:33,053 --> 00:14:36,656
-Treadmill.
-Treadmill? Yeah, me, too. Yeah.

214
00:14:36,657 --> 00:14:40,493
Yeah, tightens the old buns,
you know what I'm saying?

215
00:14:40,494 --> 00:14:44,664
Good buns to tighten, too. I got some
tight buns. You should feel them.

216
00:14:44,665 --> 00:14:47,995
Go ahead, grab them. It's all right.

217
00:14:48,402 --> 00:14:50,903
-See? See what I mean? Yeah.
-You're right.

218
00:14:50,904 --> 00:14:53,473
-That's nice.
-Thank you, I know.

219
00:14:53,474 --> 00:14:57,143
-Don't kill me.
-Mrs. McKay, just, you know, stop that.

220
00:14:57,144 --> 00:14:58,544
I've got a job to do.

221
00:14:58,545 --> 00:15:01,414
You've got a job to do. Your job is to die.
My job is to kill you.

222
00:15:01,415 --> 00:15:05,184
-So sit down and just, you know...
-But what about sex, Todd?

223
00:15:05,185 --> 00:15:08,755
Well, what about it?
I mean, you know, personally speaking,

224
00:15:08,756 --> 00:15:13,526
I think it's, you know, a lot of hard work
to smell somebody's bad breath,

225
00:15:13,527 --> 00:15:14,994
personally. But that's just me.

226
00:15:14,995 --> 00:15:16,496
-That's not true.
-You know...

227
00:15:16,497 --> 00:15:19,327
Hey, hey, hey, hey, Mrs. McKay.

228
00:15:19,366 --> 00:15:23,786
-Slow down, okay? You know...
-I could show you.

229
00:15:24,004 --> 00:15:26,806
-You could?
-Don't you like girls?

230
00:15:26,807 --> 00:15:30,766
Yeah, I like girls just fine, Mrs. McKay.

231
00:15:31,311 --> 00:15:33,811
I... I...

232
00:15:34,348 --> 00:15:36,783
I just think they kind of find me creepy,
you know what I mean?

233
00:15:36,784 --> 00:15:38,251
I don't find you creepy.

234
00:15:38,252 --> 00:15:40,586
-You don't?
-No.

235
00:15:40,587 --> 00:15:43,222
-Come on. Come on.
-Mrs. McKay.

236
00:15:43,223 --> 00:15:45,625
-I really think you should stop now...
-I know just how you like it.

237
00:15:45,626 --> 00:15:46,726
No, you don't.

238
00:15:46,727 --> 00:15:47,827
-Yes, I do.
-You couldn't possibly know

239
00:15:47,828 --> 00:15:49,328
-how I like it, all right?
-Come on.

240
00:15:49,329 --> 00:15:52,532
Okay? All right. Just stop, please.
Take your hand off me.

241
00:15:52,533 --> 00:15:53,633
Take your...

242
00:15:53,634 --> 00:15:59,272
-Take your hand off of me, Mrs. McKay.
-Just the way you like it.

243
00:15:59,273 --> 00:16:01,773
Come on, Todd.

244
00:16:03,510 --> 00:16:06,212
-Hey, Mrs. McKay...
-Why don't you take me this way, Todd?

245
00:16:06,213 --> 00:16:07,780
Yeah...

246
00:16:07,781 --> 00:16:11,321
Mrs. McKay, that is the way I like it.

247
00:16:42,082 --> 00:16:47,212
Mrs. McKay,
I'm still gonna kill you when I'm finished.

248
00:16:47,554 --> 00:16:48,754
(YELLS)

249
00:16:48,755 --> 00:16:50,523
Whoa! Whoa!

250
00:16:50,524 --> 00:16:54,694
Hey, Mrs. McKay. Mrs. McKay.
Stop it. Stop it!

251
00:16:54,695 --> 00:16:56,996
Stop it! Stop! Mrs. McKay!

252
00:16:56,997 --> 00:16:59,332
Mrs. McKay, stop it.

253
00:16:59,333 --> 00:17:01,833
(SCREAMlNG)

254
00:17:03,604 --> 00:17:06,104
Help me. Help...

255
00:17:09,209 --> 00:17:11,709
Help me.

256
00:17:13,647 --> 00:17:15,348
(NECK SNAPS)

257
00:17:15,349 --> 00:17:17,849
(WHISTLING)

258
00:17:21,622 --> 00:17:22,688
Are we ready yet?

259
00:17:22,689 --> 00:17:27,827
You know, I would very much like to make
my 12-step program tonight.

260
00:17:27,828 --> 00:17:30,763
Oh, don't worry.
We'll be out of here way before then.

261
00:17:30,764 --> 00:17:34,567
I'd like them both to leave
in a two-ply garbage bag.

262
00:17:34,568 --> 00:17:38,504
-Drawstring or twistie top?
-Which ever.

263
00:17:40,407 --> 00:17:43,077
What the hell is keeping him?

264
00:17:43,410 --> 00:17:46,450
-I'll be right back.
-Chop-chop.

265
00:17:49,516 --> 00:17:52,016
(SCATTING)

266
00:17:54,555 --> 00:17:57,055
(WHIRRING)

267
00:18:05,098 --> 00:18:10,648
So, did she go out sniveling
or did she take it like a man?

268
00:18:12,506 --> 00:18:15,006
Todd?

269
00:18:20,247 --> 00:18:22,348
Todd?

270
00:18:22,349 --> 00:18:24,849
(EXCLAIMS)

271
00:18:46,206 --> 00:18:48,706
(GUN FIRES)

272
00:18:59,219 --> 00:19:00,319
(GASPS)

273
00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:02,820
Son of a bitch!

274
00:19:09,262 --> 00:19:11,762
(TOILET FLUSHING)

275
00:19:20,841 --> 00:19:23,341
Okay.

276
00:19:23,710 --> 00:19:26,210
Okay.

277
00:19:35,956 --> 00:19:38,550
We have to talk.

278
00:19:41,261 --> 00:19:42,828
Who are you?

279
00:19:42,829 --> 00:19:47,009
I'm your worst nightmare,
a woman with balls.

280
00:19:47,434 --> 00:19:49,301
You don't have balls, lady.

281
00:19:49,302 --> 00:19:51,737
You don't know the first thing about them.

282
00:19:51,738 --> 00:19:55,708
I've disemboweled a man
while he was screwing me.

283
00:19:55,709 --> 00:19:58,209
That took balls.

284
00:19:59,546 --> 00:20:03,015
I've shot my own people in the head
so as not to blow my cover.

285
00:20:03,016 --> 00:20:07,887
I even let your husband use me up
while he held a loaded gun to my head.

286
00:20:07,888 --> 00:20:10,990
Why? Because I knew
it really turned him on.

287
00:20:10,991 --> 00:20:12,858
Does he still like the rough stuff, huh?

288
00:20:12,859 --> 00:20:16,562
Does he still like it when you bite
his neck so hard that it draws blood?

289
00:20:16,563 --> 00:20:19,828
-Does he? Does he?
-Yes.

290
00:20:21,301 --> 00:20:27,473
See, you can change the way you look, but
you can't change what you're made of.

291
00:20:27,474 --> 00:20:30,209
To tell you the truth,
it's gonna be really good to see him.

292
00:20:30,210 --> 00:20:34,313
-It's been such a long time.
-Not long enough, Gwen.

293
00:20:34,314 --> 00:20:37,316
-What did you just call me?
-(IN MAN'S VOICE) I called you Gwen.

294
00:20:37,317 --> 00:20:41,887
At least that's what you told me
your name was when we were dating.

295
00:20:41,888 --> 00:20:45,157
I would've thought you of all people
would have something nice to say

296
00:20:45,158 --> 00:20:47,526
about my new bridgework.

297
00:20:47,527 --> 00:20:49,862
Ronald?

298
00:20:49,863 --> 00:20:51,297
Goodbye, Gwen.

299
00:20:51,298 --> 00:20:53,933
I'd love to reminisce a little longer,
but as I said before,

300
00:20:53,934 --> 00:20:56,784
I have a dinner party at 7:00.

301
00:20:59,172 --> 00:21:00,239
(GUN FIRES)

302
00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:01,407
(BEEPING)

303
00:21:01,408 --> 00:21:03,908
Oh, my God, it's 5:00.

304
00:21:04,978 --> 00:21:08,047
I really have my work cut out for me.

305
00:21:08,048 --> 00:21:12,678
Well, you and your friends
will just have to help.

306
00:21:26,833 --> 00:21:28,734
Round we go.

307
00:21:28,735 --> 00:21:30,536
JEREMY: And the ball was heading
straight for the hole.

308
00:21:30,537 --> 00:21:31,937
I am looking at a birdie,

309
00:21:31,938 --> 00:21:35,141
and out of nowhere comes
this ground squirrel, steals the ball

310
00:21:35,142 --> 00:21:37,643
and I suppose
is putting it away for the winter.

311
00:21:37,644 --> 00:21:40,513
Honey, only a squirrel
could ruin your perfect putting.

312
00:21:40,514 --> 00:21:44,274
-More salad anyone?
-No. Fine, thank you.

313
00:22:16,383 --> 00:22:18,883
Darn it.

314
00:22:40,106 --> 00:22:41,574
Honey, look what Larry found.

315
00:22:41,575 --> 00:22:44,075
(GASPS)

316
00:22:45,245 --> 00:22:48,047
Sweetheart, it was a joke.
Larry's just kidding around.

317
00:22:48,048 --> 00:22:52,849
Well, it isn't funny.
I nearly had a heart attack.

318
00:22:55,422 --> 00:22:58,691
-What are you doing later?
-I don't know. What did you have in mind?

319
00:22:58,692 --> 00:23:01,327
-I bought a new paddle.
-You did?

320
00:23:01,328 --> 00:23:02,628
Yes, I did.

321
00:23:02,629 --> 00:23:06,165
And when daddy gets through spanking
mommy, maybe we can play spy.

322
00:23:06,166 --> 00:23:09,368
Only if you bite Ronnie right here,
just where I like it.

323
00:23:09,369 --> 00:23:14,239
-Bite who? Who's Ronnie?
-I said "mommy". Bite mommy.

324
00:23:19,145 --> 00:23:20,980
Great flavor. What's in it?

325
00:23:20,981 --> 00:23:24,283
Just a little something some friends
helped me throw together.

326
00:23:24,284 --> 00:23:26,018
How you do it I'll never know.

327
00:23:26,019 --> 00:23:28,287
Janet McKay, you are quite a woman.

328
00:23:28,288 --> 00:23:29,955
Of course I am, silly.

329
00:23:29,956 --> 00:23:33,496
(IN MAN'S VOICE) What else would I be?

330
00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:38,220
-CRYPT KEEPER: One, two, three.
-Damn!

331
00:23:41,635 --> 00:23:45,204
That Janet, she must be a hell of a cook.

332
00:23:45,205 --> 00:23:50,242
I don't know about you, kiddies, but l
found Simone pretty hard to swallow.

333
00:23:50,243 --> 00:23:51,510
(CACKLING)

334
00:23:51,511 --> 00:23:55,014
Personally, I wouldn't have made them
into a stew.

335
00:23:55,015 --> 00:23:58,884
I think creeps suzette would have been
much more appropriate.

336
00:23:58,885 --> 00:24:01,120
(CACKLING)

337
00:24:01,121 --> 00:24:03,621
Ready?

338
00:24:06,559 --> 00:24:09,551
Well, looks like I won.

339
00:24:09,629 --> 00:24:12,998
Hey, what are you talking about?
I am still here.

340
00:24:12,999 --> 00:24:17,179
Let's play again. Come on.
Double or nothing.

341
00:24:17,304 --> 00:24:21,507
Take my advice, pal,
quit while you're a head.

342
00:24:21,508 --> 00:24:24,008
(CACKLING)