1
00:00:05,511 --> 00:00:08,011
(GATE CREAKlNG)

2
00:00:24,997 --> 00:00:27,497
(SCREECHlNG)

3
00:00:42,281 --> 00:00:44,781
(DOG HOWLlNG)

4
00:01:06,338 --> 00:01:08,838
(SCREECHlNG)

5
00:01:09,842 --> 00:01:12,342
(lNDlSTlNCT WHlSPERlNG)

6
00:01:18,984 --> 00:01:20,218
(CACKLlNG)

7
00:01:20,219 --> 00:01:22,719
(CRYPTKEEPER SPEAKlNG)

8
00:01:25,757 --> 00:01:30,261
(CRYPT KEEPER HUMMlNG DECK
THE HALLS WlTH BOUGHS OF HOLL Y)

9
00:01:30,262 --> 00:01:32,964
(SlNGlNG) La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

10
00:01:32,965 --> 00:01:35,465
La, la, la, la, la

11
00:01:36,168 --> 00:01:38,803
Deck the halls with parts of Charlie

12
00:01:38,804 --> 00:01:41,405
Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

13
00:01:41,406 --> 00:01:44,208
Make the Yuletide gross and gnarly

14
00:01:44,209 --> 00:01:46,644
Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

15
00:01:46,645 --> 00:01:48,312
(CACKLl NG )

16
00:01:48,313 --> 00:01:50,348
Oh, hello, creeps.

17
00:01:50,349 --> 00:01:56,554
It's me, your favorite holiday spirit,
doing a little Cryptmas decorating.

18
00:01:56,555 --> 00:01:58,789
Boy, do I love this time of year.

19
00:01:58,790 --> 00:02:03,160
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire,
Jack Frost nipping at your...

20
00:02:03,161 --> 00:02:04,228
(SNAPPlNG)

21
00:02:04,229 --> 00:02:06,564
Hey, Jack, get away from me.

22
00:02:06,565 --> 00:02:07,698
(GRUNTS)

23
00:02:07,699 --> 00:02:10,199
(SCREAMlNG)

24
00:02:13,872 --> 00:02:17,441
I guess he's off
my Christmas chopping list.

25
00:02:17,442 --> 00:02:20,411
Which brings to mind tonight's terror tale.

26
00:02:20,412 --> 00:02:25,182
It's about two martial artists
who do some chopping of their own

27
00:02:25,183 --> 00:02:30,120
in a tasteless fright to the finish
I call "The Pit."

28
00:02:31,757 --> 00:02:33,524
SPORTSCASTER:
We're down to the final moments here

29
00:02:33,525 --> 00:02:37,628
in this brutal, awesome display
ofraw power and stamina.

30
00:02:37,629 --> 00:02:39,630
Both of these fighters ha ve endured
more punishment

31
00:02:39,631 --> 00:02:41,465
than any fight that I can remember.

32
00:02:41,466 --> 00:02:42,934
A vicious exchange.

33
00:02:42,935 --> 00:02:46,470
Ladies and gentlemen, I can't believe
these guys are still on their feet.

34
00:02:46,471 --> 00:02:49,073
Will you look at the punishment
each one is doling out

35
00:02:49,074 --> 00:02:52,310
and the punishment each one is taking?

36
00:02:52,311 --> 00:02:54,946
Scott is downed
by a vicious blow to the head,

37
00:02:54,947 --> 00:02:57,615
but he is back up, unbelievably.

38
00:02:57,616 --> 00:03:01,185
Don't these guys know when to quit?
What is their limit?

39
00:03:01,186 --> 00:03:03,854
How can they endure this much pain?

40
00:03:03,855 --> 00:03:07,692
Another vicious exchange
and a crushing reverse kick.

41
00:03:07,693 --> 00:03:09,794
Ladies and gentlemen,
Johnson comes back

42
00:03:09,795 --> 00:03:12,625
with a quick exchange of blows.

43
00:03:12,798 --> 00:03:15,866
I've never,
in all of my years of broadcasting,

44
00:03:15,867 --> 00:03:19,503
seen anything as vicious and fabulous
as this fight.

45
00:03:19,504 --> 00:03:22,006
How can any one human being
endure this?

46
00:03:22,007 --> 00:03:24,976
Oh, and a vicious cross to the face.

47
00:03:24,977 --> 00:03:26,444
They're squaring off.

48
00:03:26,445 --> 00:03:28,913
Neither one is standing very steadily,

49
00:03:28,914 --> 00:03:31,415
yet they're still viciously fighting it out.

50
00:03:31,416 --> 00:03:34,485
Another vicious cross, and a counter.

51
00:03:34,486 --> 00:03:37,455
Ladies and gentlemen,
this can't go on much longer.

52
00:03:37,456 --> 00:03:40,526
Neither one has any strength left.

53
00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:50,368
(AUDlENCE APPLAUDlNG)

54
00:03:50,369 --> 00:03:53,337
Man. That's incredible, don't you think?
That really is amazing.

55
00:03:53,338 --> 00:03:55,106
Now, since the match
was declared a draw,

56
00:03:55,107 --> 00:03:59,043
a certain amount of controversy
has developed as to how it all went down.

57
00:03:59,044 --> 00:04:02,713
-I thought it was a good fight.
-Yeah, it was a clean fight.

58
00:04:02,714 --> 00:04:04,782
I mean, people got their money's worth.

59
00:04:04,783 --> 00:04:08,653
Of course, if I had another round,
I would have finished it.

60
00:04:08,654 --> 00:04:10,221
Yeah, right.

61
00:04:10,222 --> 00:04:12,423
Hey, I had the only knockdown,
remember?

62
00:04:12,424 --> 00:04:14,291
Look, I still had you on points.

63
00:04:14,292 --> 00:04:16,427
(AUDlENCE CHEERlNG)

64
00:04:16,428 --> 00:04:18,195
All right, now, but what about the rumors

65
00:04:18,196 --> 00:04:21,165
that sabotage forced the judges

66
00:04:21,233 --> 00:04:23,434
to disqualify all weapons
during the match?

67
00:04:23,435 --> 00:04:25,069
I mean, that could have
affected the outcome.

68
00:04:25,070 --> 00:04:27,938
-Yeah, well...
-The only person who needed sabotage

69
00:04:27,939 --> 00:04:30,141
to help win the fight
would be Felix Johnson.

70
00:04:30,142 --> 00:04:33,144
Now, that's just the low-class
kind of remark you'd expect

71
00:04:33,145 --> 00:04:36,080
from someone
with Aubrey Scott's background.

72
00:04:36,081 --> 00:04:38,416
(AUDlENCE CHEERlNG)

73
00:04:38,417 --> 00:04:41,887
Excuse me, Miss Private School (BLEEP).

74
00:04:44,022 --> 00:04:46,957
I'd just like to know if either of you ladies
ever feel trapped

75
00:04:46,958 --> 00:04:48,526
in the shadows of your husbands,

76
00:04:48,527 --> 00:04:50,828
or if you've ever considered
resuming your own careers.

77
00:04:50,829 --> 00:04:53,230
Well, as long as promoters are unwilling
to pay the same

78
00:04:53,231 --> 00:04:55,499
for women's events
as they do for the males',

79
00:04:55,500 --> 00:05:00,738
I am more than happy
to let old Felix here bring home the bacon.

80
00:05:00,739 --> 00:05:04,742
Amazing. This old cow
finally said something I can agree with.

81
00:05:04,743 --> 00:05:08,479
I mean, why should we go out
and punish ourselves

82
00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:10,915
when these guys can make
double, triple, what we can?

83
00:05:10,916 --> 00:05:14,819
Besides, who would pay money
to see a burnt-out has-been like Aubrey

84
00:05:14,820 --> 00:05:19,790
do anything except maybe rinse her hair
to see what color she's using this month?

85
00:05:19,791 --> 00:05:22,291
(AUDlENCE CHEERlNG)

86
00:05:28,300 --> 00:05:30,868
If I hear the name Johnson one more time,

87
00:05:30,869 --> 00:05:33,604
I'm gonna personally come down there,
dip your face in battery acid,

88
00:05:33,605 --> 00:05:36,435
and send pictures to your kids!

89
00:05:37,509 --> 00:05:39,310
I don't care how you do it, Lou.

90
00:05:39,311 --> 00:05:41,378
All I care about
is that Aaron gets this part.

91
00:05:41,379 --> 00:05:42,813
You tell those wimpy producers,

92
00:05:42,814 --> 00:05:44,882
if they can't make up
their puny little minds...

93
00:05:44,883 --> 00:05:48,285
I'm going to pay them a visit
and help focus their attention.

94
00:05:48,286 --> 00:05:52,123
I don't care if Schwarzenegger
wants to bend over for all of them.

95
00:05:52,124 --> 00:05:55,226
You get Felix that part or you're gonna be
dangling by your you-know-what

96
00:05:55,227 --> 00:05:58,362
over lnterstate 10 during rush hour.

97
00:05:58,363 --> 00:06:02,253
My husband will be the Pulverizer, or else.

98
00:06:09,307 --> 00:06:14,967
Jesus, Andrea, I'm only
eight-tenths of a second off my pace.

99
00:06:17,149 --> 00:06:20,818
I am not willing to concede
eight-tenths of anything

100
00:06:20,819 --> 00:06:23,413
to that slime, Aubrey Scott.

101
00:06:27,259 --> 00:06:28,392
-Honey?
-Yeah?

102
00:06:28,393 --> 00:06:31,323
I'm gonna slip out for a while.

103
00:06:31,930 --> 00:06:35,599
How about getting a little slippery
right here first?

104
00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:36,667
Oh, come on.

105
00:06:36,668 --> 00:06:39,570
-Aaron, please. Come on, stop it.
-Come on, baby.

106
00:06:39,571 --> 00:06:42,071
Knock it off, you moron.

107
00:06:43,408 --> 00:06:45,908
I'm sorry, Aubrey.

108
00:06:46,044 --> 00:06:51,414
Look, why don't you
order up some room service,

109
00:06:52,250 --> 00:06:55,052
watch a little Three Stooges on TV?

110
00:06:55,053 --> 00:06:58,989
I'll be back in time to tuck you in, okay?

111
00:06:58,990 --> 00:07:01,490
Okay.

112
00:07:07,165 --> 00:07:09,665
You hold that thought.

113
00:07:18,476 --> 00:07:21,146
Don't start without me, baby.

114
00:07:25,150 --> 00:07:26,984
It's got drama, it's got pathos,

115
00:07:26,985 --> 00:07:30,985
not to mention
20 million viewers worldwide.

116
00:07:32,457 --> 00:07:37,328
Evander Holyfield versus Mike Tyson,
live from the lndiana State Prison.

117
00:07:37,329 --> 00:07:40,730
What more does he want?

118
00:07:40,799 --> 00:07:46,136
Jesus Christ, how the hell did this idiot
ever become governor?

119
00:07:46,137 --> 00:07:47,771
Hold it, hold it.

120
00:07:47,772 --> 00:07:51,609
Just tell me
what his favorite perversion is.

121
00:07:51,610 --> 00:07:55,020
I'll have it delivered with bells on.

122
00:07:57,182 --> 00:08:00,192
No, just call me when it's done.

123
00:08:05,724 --> 00:08:08,224
God, am I bored.

124
00:08:09,661 --> 00:08:12,162
We had waited three years
for this match-up,

125
00:08:12,163 --> 00:08:13,631
and we were not disappointed.

126
00:08:13,632 --> 00:08:15,332
Take a look at this action.

127
00:08:15,333 --> 00:08:20,771
It was wall-to-wall, non-stop body blows,
body slams, killer kicks.

128
00:08:20,772 --> 00:08:23,207
Just when you thought
one had the advantage,

129
00:08:23,208 --> 00:08:25,976
here comes the other,
exploding like a bomb.

130
00:08:25,977 --> 00:08:29,013
We knew there was no love
between Johnson or Scott,

131
00:08:29,014 --> 00:08:31,794
but this is unbelievable stuff.

132
00:08:36,855 --> 00:08:39,823
It's hard to imagine how one of them
was going to beat the other

133
00:08:39,824 --> 00:08:42,418
without killing him first.

134
00:08:42,494 --> 00:08:46,397
Maybe they're both better off
that the match was declared a draw.

135
00:08:46,398 --> 00:08:49,500
You know, word out west is that
both of these guys are up for the lead

136
00:08:49,501 --> 00:08:52,636
in the new 20th Century Fox film
Pulverizer.

137
00:08:52,637 --> 00:08:55,873
Supposed to be a war going on
between Johnson and Scott's agents

138
00:08:55,874 --> 00:08:59,176
as they each try to land the role
for their client.

139
00:08:59,177 --> 00:09:01,278
Well, you tell that slut Aubrey Scott

140
00:09:01,279 --> 00:09:04,982
that The Pulverizer is an action-drama,
not slapstick comedy.

141
00:09:04,983 --> 00:09:07,184
But if she's determined
on embarrassing her husband,

142
00:09:07,185 --> 00:09:10,988
I hear they're casting Police Academy 10.
Excuse me.

143
00:09:10,989 --> 00:09:15,092
Oh, gosh. Felix Johnson.
He couldn't act his way

144
00:09:15,093 --> 00:09:18,062
out of a locker room towel fight.

145
00:09:18,063 --> 00:09:19,930
You know, I think the only reason

146
00:09:19,931 --> 00:09:23,834
the producers are going through
with this whole charade is for publicity.

147
00:09:23,835 --> 00:09:27,838
You know, maybe Andrea and Felix
have a future in game shows.

148
00:09:27,839 --> 00:09:30,007
I don't know.

149
00:09:30,008 --> 00:09:33,510
Be careful what you wish for, guys.
You just may get it.

150
00:09:33,511 --> 00:09:36,380
In other sports,
plenty of NFL action for you. In fact...

151
00:09:36,381 --> 00:09:39,783
Miss P., Miss P., get me
Judd Campbell's office in Hollywood.

152
00:09:39,784 --> 00:09:42,719
I've got a $100 million idea.

153
00:09:42,787 --> 00:09:47,124
A Malaysian-rules death match,
Johnson versus Scott.

154
00:09:47,125 --> 00:09:49,625
The match of the century.

155
00:09:49,694 --> 00:09:52,788
Kaos in the Kage!

156
00:09:55,467 --> 00:09:57,967
It's magnificent.

157
00:09:57,969 --> 00:10:00,437
Is this magnificent?

158
00:10:00,438 --> 00:10:03,828
Well, the Romans would surely approve.

159
00:10:04,809 --> 00:10:07,578
You know, I remember
staying up all night watching you

160
00:10:07,579 --> 00:10:09,680
when you won the gold medal
in Barcelona.

161
00:10:09,681 --> 00:10:12,049
I was sure
you were going to turn pro after that.

162
00:10:12,050 --> 00:10:15,686
In fact, I was kind of looking forward
to promoting

163
00:10:15,687 --> 00:10:18,747
some special events with you.

164
00:10:18,823 --> 00:10:22,192
Let me get this straight.
You said Malaysian rules?

165
00:10:22,193 --> 00:10:27,097
Yeah. No time limit.
No restrictions on moves or weapons.

166
00:10:27,098 --> 00:10:29,700
Anything goes, you know,
till one man concedes

167
00:10:29,701 --> 00:10:32,801
or is rendered totally unconscious.

168
00:10:33,171 --> 00:10:35,506
Define "totally unconscious."

169
00:10:35,507 --> 00:10:38,867
Kind of like your husband is already.

170
00:10:39,344 --> 00:10:42,594
I knew I smelled dead fish in here.

171
00:10:42,614 --> 00:10:47,384
My, my, my. Would you look at this?
Would you look at this?

172
00:10:47,385 --> 00:10:48,919
You're even more beautiful

173
00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:52,222
than when I saw you win the nationals
in Minneapolis.

174
00:10:52,223 --> 00:10:54,691
Oh, yeah, I remember that night.

175
00:10:54,692 --> 00:10:58,228
Felix and I were stranded
in a blizzard in Denver.

176
00:10:58,229 --> 00:11:00,789
Had to forfeit my match.

177
00:11:00,865 --> 00:11:03,033
Lucky break for you, Aubrey.

178
00:11:03,034 --> 00:11:05,035
Listen, you bitch,
I've already kicked your ass

179
00:11:05,036 --> 00:11:06,737
earlier this year in Johannesburg.

180
00:11:06,738 --> 00:11:07,838
I had the flu.

181
00:11:07,839 --> 00:11:09,540
Well, I'll kick it again,
right here, right now,

182
00:11:09,541 --> 00:11:11,408
unless, of course,
you're coming down with something.

183
00:11:11,409 --> 00:11:15,179
-Are you forgetting Pittsburgh, May '92?
-No, I remember.

184
00:11:15,180 --> 00:11:18,082
Heard you only had to fuck, what,
two judges to win that one?

185
00:11:18,083 --> 00:11:19,616
Oh, you lying whore.

186
00:11:19,617 --> 00:11:22,820
I ought to rip that ugly wig
you call your hair right off your head.

187
00:11:22,821 --> 00:11:25,389
You go ahead, baby.
You give it your best shot.

188
00:11:25,390 --> 00:11:26,490
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

189
00:11:26,491 --> 00:11:31,731
Girls, girls, let's try and be gentlemen
about this, huh?

190
00:11:31,896 --> 00:11:37,868
Now, we're talking about 30 million
pay-per-view subscriptions worldwide,

191
00:11:37,869 --> 00:11:41,638
not to mention the live game,
not to mention HBO.

192
00:11:41,639 --> 00:11:45,242
And the winner of the match
will become the new star

193
00:11:45,243 --> 00:11:48,843
of the brand-new Fox feature Pulverizer.

194
00:11:51,783 --> 00:11:54,618
Now, I just happen to have in my pocket
the signed contracts

195
00:11:54,619 --> 00:12:00,579
from the Judd Campbell office
guaranteeing the role to the winner.

196
00:12:02,193 --> 00:12:04,693
Need I say more?

197
00:12:04,729 --> 00:12:07,164
Now, let's get a grip on this, girls.

198
00:12:07,165 --> 00:12:10,567
In my scenario,
even the loser of the match,

199
00:12:10,568 --> 00:12:12,202
and his wife, of course,

200
00:12:12,203 --> 00:12:17,007
are gonna walk out of that pit
with about $10 million.

201
00:12:17,008 --> 00:12:21,011
Now, that's enough dead presidents
to make anybody forget

202
00:12:21,012 --> 00:12:26,042
about a little old Hollywood premiere,
don't you agree?

203
00:12:35,793 --> 00:12:39,062
Malaysian death match?
How could you agree to that?

204
00:12:39,063 --> 00:12:40,764
What's the big deal?

205
00:12:40,765 --> 00:12:41,865
It only took you 10 minutes

206
00:12:41,866 --> 00:12:44,334
to put Hong Lee on permanent disability
last year.

207
00:12:44,335 --> 00:12:48,305
Yeah, that's right,
but Hong Lee is no Aaron Scott.

208
00:12:48,306 --> 00:12:51,074
And besides,
the last time me and Felix went at it,

209
00:12:51,075 --> 00:12:53,343
the judges called it a draw.

210
00:12:53,344 --> 00:12:55,779
Well, there's not gonna be any draws
this time, baby.

211
00:12:55,780 --> 00:12:57,748
Listen, that's exactly what I mean.

212
00:12:57,749 --> 00:12:59,349
I mean, we're gonna
have to hurt each other.

213
00:12:59,350 --> 00:13:01,752
Oh, you're gonna have to do more
than hurt him.

214
00:13:01,753 --> 00:13:04,154
You're gonna have to drop him dead.

215
00:13:04,155 --> 00:13:07,057
But I kind of like the guy. He's cool.

216
00:13:07,058 --> 00:13:09,459
No, you don't like him. You hate him.

217
00:13:09,460 --> 00:13:12,062
He is a piece of gum stuck to your shoe.

218
00:13:12,063 --> 00:13:16,667
Listen, honey, even if I lose,
I mean, we'll still be richer than God.

219
00:13:16,668 --> 00:13:18,735
I don't give a rat's ass about the money.

220
00:13:18,736 --> 00:13:21,772
I am not about to let
this stuck-up Boston bitch...

221
00:13:21,773 --> 00:13:24,241
That no-class Texas tramp...

222
00:13:24,242 --> 00:13:25,842
24-karat phony...

223
00:13:25,843 --> 00:13:27,711
That trailer park trash...

224
00:13:27,712 --> 00:13:29,279
-Get one over...
-On me.

225
00:13:29,280 --> 00:13:31,848
-You're gonna go in there...
-And you're gonna kick some butt.

226
00:13:31,849 --> 00:13:33,250
You're gonna win that match...

227
00:13:33,251 --> 00:13:35,519
And get me to Hollywood.

228
00:13:35,520 --> 00:13:37,621
-ls that...
-Clear?

229
00:13:37,622 --> 00:13:40,122
-Okay, sugar.
-Okay, honey.

230
00:13:48,833 --> 00:13:51,268
SPORTSCASTER ON PA:
And here in the grand auditorium,

231
00:13:51,269 --> 00:13:53,136
Felix Johnson is in
the best shape ofhis career

232
00:13:53,137 --> 00:13:54,338
as he continues to train

233
00:13:54,339 --> 00:13:58,549
for the long-awaited rematch
with Aaron Scott.

234
00:14:02,914 --> 00:14:07,317
Now, this will be one of
the biggest pay-per-view events in history.

235
00:14:07,318 --> 00:14:09,319
Now, if orders continue
at their present rate,

236
00:14:09,320 --> 00:14:12,489
we're looking at an audience
of about 50 million people

237
00:14:12,490 --> 00:14:14,990
from 40 different countries.

238
00:14:22,467 --> 00:14:24,967
-You okay?
-Y eah.

239
00:14:44,722 --> 00:14:47,772
Whirling dervish. Whirling dervish!

240
00:14:50,995 --> 00:14:53,495
(YELLlNG)

241
00:15:03,608 --> 00:15:06,677
The whole world said you could not
put these two fighters together.

242
00:15:06,678 --> 00:15:09,638
This is a promoter's dream, a...

243
00:15:11,549 --> 00:15:13,317
MAN: Somebody get Security!

244
00:15:13,318 --> 00:15:17,414
Ladies and gentlemen,
amateur hour is over.

245
00:15:17,488 --> 00:15:22,693
Say hello to the one, the only,
the phenomenal Aaron Scott.

246
00:15:22,694 --> 00:15:25,194
Bitch!

247
00:15:29,667 --> 00:15:31,168
(GRUNTlNG)

248
00:15:31,169 --> 00:15:33,669
Get him! Get him!

249
00:15:40,411 --> 00:15:42,012
And that's merely just a taste

250
00:15:42,013 --> 00:15:45,649
of what Felix Johnson will be getting
this Friday night.

251
00:15:45,650 --> 00:15:48,952
-Come on, Felix! Me and you, right now!
-Come on. Come on.

252
00:15:48,953 --> 00:15:50,487
I'm gonna kill her.

253
00:15:50,488 --> 00:15:52,889
I'm gonna rip her heart out.

254
00:15:52,890 --> 00:15:55,759
Come on, you chickenshit.
I'll take you right now.

255
00:15:55,760 --> 00:15:58,295
Come on, you bitch. Let's go right now.
Right now, bitch!

256
00:15:58,296 --> 00:16:02,446
Let go of me. Get...
What the hell? Come on!

257
00:16:03,668 --> 00:16:06,168
I'm gonna kick your ass!

258
00:16:15,246 --> 00:16:19,549
Trust me, folks, you've never seen
anything like this before,

259
00:16:19,550 --> 00:16:21,985
and you will never see it again.

260
00:16:21,986 --> 00:16:25,615
Johnson versus Scott. Kaos in the Kage.

261
00:16:25,690 --> 00:16:28,190
Don't miss it!

262
00:17:03,027 --> 00:17:06,663
Wondering how much launch you need
to get up on that platform?

263
00:17:06,664 --> 00:17:08,932
Nope.

264
00:17:08,933 --> 00:17:12,569
I'm wondering if coyote dung
is a good cactus fertilizer.

265
00:17:12,570 --> 00:17:16,190
-I grow them, you know.
-No, I didn't.

266
00:17:17,608 --> 00:17:20,108
-Cactuses.
-Cacti.

267
00:17:20,745 --> 00:17:24,581
I got a whole farm of them over in Arizona.

268
00:17:24,582 --> 00:17:26,783
But I got these coyotes
shitting all over the place,

269
00:17:26,784 --> 00:17:28,618
and if they mess up my crop,

270
00:17:28,619 --> 00:17:31,121
I swear,
I'll single-handedly put the little bastards

271
00:17:31,122 --> 00:17:33,902
on the endangered species list.

272
00:17:34,692 --> 00:17:37,727
A man's gotta have a hobby, right?

273
00:17:37,728 --> 00:17:43,928
I mean, can't keep doing this forever,
can we?

274
00:17:45,937 --> 00:17:50,203
Yeah, it's gonna be a mess, all right.

275
00:17:50,708 --> 00:17:52,909
I can handle it.

276
00:17:52,910 --> 00:17:55,410
-You bet.
-So can you.

277
00:17:57,915 --> 00:18:00,083
You bet.

278
00:18:00,084 --> 00:18:02,886
How did it come down to this, I wonder?

279
00:18:02,887 --> 00:18:05,789
I mean, how did we let it go this far?

280
00:18:05,790 --> 00:18:08,925
There's only two reasons I can think of,

281
00:18:08,926 --> 00:18:11,426
both of them female.

282
00:18:13,130 --> 00:18:15,800
No turning back now, I guess.

283
00:18:18,169 --> 00:18:20,669
You having second thoughts?

284
00:18:22,440 --> 00:18:24,940
Not really. You?

285
00:18:26,511 --> 00:18:28,345
No.

286
00:18:28,346 --> 00:18:31,548
I guess I'm kind of looking forward to it.

287
00:18:31,549 --> 00:18:33,383
Yeah.

288
00:18:33,384 --> 00:18:35,884
I guess I am, too.

289
00:18:46,764 --> 00:18:50,333
I'll take it. Just put it on our bill.

290
00:18:50,334 --> 00:18:52,834
(TELEPHONE RlNGlNG)

291
00:19:00,645 --> 00:19:03,145
-Yes?
-MAN: Andrea Johnson?

292
00:19:06,083 --> 00:19:08,583
What?

293
00:19:10,988 --> 00:19:13,488
That dismal bitch!

294
00:19:19,263 --> 00:19:21,763
(TELEPHONE RlNGlNG)

295
00:19:27,305 --> 00:19:28,872
-Hello?
-MAN: Aubrey Scott?

296
00:19:28,873 --> 00:19:31,174
Who is this?

297
00:19:31,175 --> 00:19:32,876
Are you sure?

298
00:19:32,877 --> 00:19:35,278
Are you sure about this?

299
00:19:35,279 --> 00:19:37,779
(GRUNTS)

300
00:19:38,115 --> 00:19:40,615
Damn her!

301
00:19:51,028 --> 00:19:52,729
I'm done.

302
00:19:52,730 --> 00:19:55,230
You can go.

303
00:20:34,739 --> 00:20:37,173
What the hell do you think you're doing?

304
00:20:37,174 --> 00:20:40,944
-What the hell are you doing here?
-You first.

305
00:20:40,945 --> 00:20:44,581
I came down to see what a cheating,
low-life scum your husband is.

306
00:20:44,582 --> 00:20:45,915
Really?

307
00:20:45,916 --> 00:20:50,153
Looks to me like you're the only one
doing the cheating, low-life scum thing.

308
00:20:50,154 --> 00:20:53,456
Well, rumor has it
Felix modified his weapons,

309
00:20:53,457 --> 00:20:55,725
added a few little nasty surprises.

310
00:20:55,726 --> 00:20:58,862
You know,
you are such a lying sack of silicone.

311
00:20:58,863 --> 00:21:00,764
The only surprise going on around here

312
00:21:00,765 --> 00:21:04,334
is how you actually thought
that you could sabotage his weapons.

313
00:21:04,335 --> 00:21:07,604
I don't need to sabotage weapons.
Felix is a loser.

314
00:21:07,605 --> 00:21:09,172
But then again, I guess you'd know that.

315
00:21:09,173 --> 00:21:10,840
That's how he ended up with you, isn't it?

316
00:21:10,841 --> 00:21:14,044
Funny, I don't remember being the loser

317
00:21:14,045 --> 00:21:17,247
working in
a Cleveland mud wrestling dump.

318
00:21:17,248 --> 00:21:20,617
-That was just an exhibition.
-Oh, for two years?

319
00:21:20,618 --> 00:21:26,322
You know, Aubrey, I don't really give a shit
if Felix gets that job or not.

320
00:21:26,323 --> 00:21:30,493
All I care about is that you never see
the inside of a movie studio, ever.

321
00:21:30,494 --> 00:21:32,328
Well, isn't that a shame?

322
00:21:32,329 --> 00:21:35,899
'Cause as soon as I get done
kicking your gold-plated, fat ass

323
00:21:35,900 --> 00:21:41,980
into the has-been locker room,
I'm on the first plane back to LA.

324
00:21:50,514 --> 00:21:53,014
What the hell?

325
00:22:03,928 --> 00:22:06,428
(MAN APPLAUDlNG)

326
00:22:16,040 --> 00:22:18,540
(CROWD APPLAUDlNG)

327
00:22:20,111 --> 00:22:23,471
-You! This is your doing.
-Fuck you.

328
00:22:26,016 --> 00:22:28,516
(CROWD CHEERlNG)

329
00:22:32,289 --> 00:22:36,025
SPORTSCASTER:
Underway, live from Las Vegas,

330
00:22:36,026 --> 00:22:38,061
a Malaysian-rules death match.

331
00:22:38,062 --> 00:22:41,297
Johnson versus Scott,
the match of the century.

332
00:22:41,298 --> 00:22:43,798
Kaos in the Kage!

333
00:23:07,458 --> 00:23:09,958
Come on.

334
00:23:19,436 --> 00:23:22,605
FELlX: Man! Andrea never hit me that hard.

335
00:23:22,606 --> 00:23:26,176
AARON: Yeah. The last time
Aubrey used her claws like that,

336
00:23:26,177 --> 00:23:28,611
I had to get three stitches in my back.

337
00:23:28,612 --> 00:23:31,112
(BOTH LAUGHlNG)

338
00:23:55,573 --> 00:23:57,106
Okay.

339
00:23:57,107 --> 00:23:59,676
Well, guys, the producers loved your idea,

340
00:23:59,677 --> 00:24:03,680
and they're putting the writers on it
first thing tomorrow.

341
00:24:03,681 --> 00:24:06,349
Yeah! Well, how hard can it be
to rewrite a movie script, anyway?

342
00:24:06,350 --> 00:24:09,752
-Yeah. Besides, I like buddy pictures.
-Hey, that makes two of us, bro.

343
00:24:09,753 --> 00:24:11,554
I can see it all now.

344
00:24:11,555 --> 00:24:15,358
The new Newman and Redford.
The new Glover and Gibson.

345
00:24:15,359 --> 00:24:19,362
We have got Johnson and Scott
starring in...

346
00:24:19,363 --> 00:24:22,493
-The Pulverizers!
-The Pulverizers!

347
00:24:25,002 --> 00:24:27,337
They're gonna kill each other down there.

348
00:24:27,338 --> 00:24:30,348
That's the whole idea, isn't it?

349
00:24:51,095 --> 00:24:55,598
I guess, in the end,
the choke was on the girls.

350
00:24:55,599 --> 00:24:57,834
Choke hold, that is.

351
00:24:57,835 --> 00:25:00,335
(CACKLlNG)

352
00:25:00,671 --> 00:25:05,108
I don't know about you, kiddies,
but my money's on Aubrey.

353
00:25:05,109 --> 00:25:08,311
I think she's a little fester to the punch.

354
00:25:08,312 --> 00:25:12,982
Well, you know what they say.
The scream always rises.

355
00:25:12,983 --> 00:25:15,483
(CACKLlNG)

356
00:25:16,854 --> 00:25:19,322
There, all done.

357
00:25:19,323 --> 00:25:24,794
Now I'll have a little eggnog,
listen to a few helliday tunes

358
00:25:24,795 --> 00:25:27,835
and wait for Santa Claus to come.

359
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:34,630
Maybe I should throw
another Yule log on the fire.

360
00:25:36,974 --> 00:25:39,909
I wonder how Yule will feel about that.

361
00:25:39,910 --> 00:25:42,410
(CACKLlNG)