1 00:01:30,339 --> 00:01:32,398 Out. - What? 2 00:01:32,475 --> 00:01:34,102 Are you blind? 3 00:01:34,176 --> 00:01:36,872 That ball was on the line, pal! 4 00:01:36,946 --> 00:01:38,777 Oh, hello, kiddies. 5 00:01:38,848 --> 00:01:42,875 I was just warming up for the Wimbletomb Tennis Tournament. 6 00:01:42,952 --> 00:01:46,115 Normally I love a bit of stiff competition, 7 00:01:46,188 --> 00:01:48,713 but this guy is driving me nuts! 8 00:01:48,791 --> 00:01:51,316 Still, the match isn't over yet. 9 00:01:51,394 --> 00:01:54,693 We're playing beast two out of three. 10 00:01:56,465 --> 00:01:59,730 Which brings to mind the man in tonight's tale. 11 00:01:59,802 --> 00:02:03,238 He's about to play a little die-breaker of his own 12 00:02:03,305 --> 00:02:06,797 in a sickening hacks-hibition I call 13 00:02:06,876 --> 00:02:08,776 "Kidnapper". 14 00:02:48,350 --> 00:02:50,978 It's funny the effects a baby can have on people. 15 00:02:51,053 --> 00:02:53,783 Not "ha-ha " funny, but funny. 16 00:02:53,856 --> 00:02:55,687 One time the vicar at my church said 17 00:02:55,758 --> 00:02:59,285 that children are God's opinion that the world should go on. 18 00:02:59,361 --> 00:03:01,352 I don't know if I agree with him or not. 19 00:03:01,430 --> 00:03:05,196 I guess, deep down, I always thought he stole that off a T-shirt. 20 00:03:05,267 --> 00:03:07,861 Still, it's funny the effects a child can have. 21 00:03:12,708 --> 00:03:14,175 Hello. 22 00:03:16,812 --> 00:03:18,074 Hello, there! 23 00:03:29,759 --> 00:03:30,885 Hello. 24 00:03:31,694 --> 00:03:32,922 Cute. 25 00:03:37,166 --> 00:03:38,997 Is it a boy or a girl? 26 00:03:39,668 --> 00:03:40,828 It's a boy. 27 00:03:41,370 --> 00:03:43,861 My girlfriend had a baby last year. 28 00:03:51,413 --> 00:03:53,404 I mean, there are things you never think about 29 00:03:53,482 --> 00:03:54,881 when a baby comes along. 30 00:03:54,950 --> 00:03:56,747 Until it's too late, that is. 31 00:03:56,819 --> 00:04:00,016 You have to feed them, clothe them and keep them healthy. 32 00:04:01,023 --> 00:04:02,991 Hello, little fellow. 33 00:04:03,058 --> 00:04:05,322 It's a lot of work, and expensive, too. 34 00:04:05,394 --> 00:04:06,656 I mean, you can't believe it. 35 00:04:06,729 --> 00:04:09,596 I'll take him now, thank you. 36 00:04:09,665 --> 00:04:13,593 Back to mummy. 37 00:04:13,669 --> 00:04:16,536 Babies can put a real strain on a relationship, 38 00:04:16,605 --> 00:04:18,095 even the strongest. 39 00:04:18,174 --> 00:04:20,369 Believe me, I know firsthand. 40 00:04:21,644 --> 00:04:25,136 My girlfriend and I, we're no different than any other couple. 41 00:04:25,214 --> 00:04:28,308 When I first met her, she was pregnant and homeless. 42 00:04:28,384 --> 00:04:29,544 It was Christmastime 43 00:04:29,618 --> 00:04:32,382 and nobody had come in for days except to use the toilet. 44 00:04:32,454 --> 00:04:34,854 By the way, my name's Danny Skeggs. 45 00:04:34,924 --> 00:04:37,586 Just like it says on my name tag. 46 00:04:37,660 --> 00:04:38,922 Hello. 47 00:04:44,567 --> 00:04:48,628 I'm sorry, the toilets are for employees only. 48 00:04:48,704 --> 00:04:50,331 I don't want to use your loo, 49 00:04:50,406 --> 00:04:52,670 I just wanted to do a bit business with you. 50 00:04:52,741 --> 00:04:55,369 Oh. Right. Sorry. 51 00:04:55,444 --> 00:04:57,935 Well, let's have a look. 52 00:05:00,082 --> 00:05:02,915 Could you tell me what this is worth? 53 00:05:11,093 --> 00:05:12,822 Family heirloom? 54 00:05:12,895 --> 00:05:14,658 It's my grandmother's. 55 00:05:24,139 --> 00:05:27,370 It's all right. How much? 56 00:05:27,443 --> 00:05:28,569 I'm not sure. 57 00:05:28,644 --> 00:05:33,081 I mean, I'll have to look it up. Stay right there. 58 00:05:48,931 --> 00:05:50,125 Miss? 59 00:05:52,301 --> 00:05:53,563 Miss? 60 00:06:17,793 --> 00:06:21,058 - What happened? - I don't know. You passed out. 61 00:06:21,130 --> 00:06:24,861 - Do you want me to call an ambulance? - No. No ambulances. 62 00:06:24,934 --> 00:06:26,765 Are you sure? Perhaps you should see a doctor. 63 00:06:26,835 --> 00:06:31,169 Look, can you just tell me how much for the bracelet? 64 00:06:32,341 --> 00:06:38,302 Well, it's worth about £350, but I can only afford to give you 75. 65 00:06:39,081 --> 00:06:43,245 - You should probably hang on to it. - I can't. I need the money. 66 00:06:43,319 --> 00:06:44,650 But it belonged to your grandmother. 67 00:06:44,720 --> 00:06:47,746 Look, I'll just take the £75, okay? 68 00:06:49,792 --> 00:06:51,157 Sit here. 69 00:06:52,695 --> 00:06:54,322 - You all right? - Yeah. 70 00:06:54,396 --> 00:06:56,296 - Yeah? - Yeah, I'm fine. 71 00:07:03,706 --> 00:07:07,164 Sorry. Sorry, people, they don't come back here much. 72 00:07:07,242 --> 00:07:08,641 It's okay. 73 00:07:08,711 --> 00:07:10,110 She's pretty. 74 00:07:11,246 --> 00:07:12,543 Don't. 75 00:07:12,614 --> 00:07:14,673 Look, have you got somewhere to live? 76 00:07:14,750 --> 00:07:16,684 Look, if you're not willing to give me the money... 77 00:07:16,752 --> 00:07:17,776 - You could stay with me. - What? 78 00:07:19,688 --> 00:07:20,916 No. 79 00:07:21,924 --> 00:07:24,950 At least until the baby's born. It's an option. 80 00:07:27,596 --> 00:07:31,965 That's very nice of you, but I couldn't. 81 00:07:32,034 --> 00:07:35,936 - I don't even know you. - There's not much to know. 82 00:07:36,739 --> 00:07:39,105 I own this shop. I live alone. 83 00:07:40,209 --> 00:07:43,508 Besides, you could keep your grandmother's bracelet. 84 00:07:44,146 --> 00:07:45,306 And... 85 00:07:49,184 --> 00:07:50,446 And what? 86 00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:52,610 It's Christmas. 87 00:07:55,958 --> 00:07:58,392 No one should be alone at Christmas. 88 00:08:01,196 --> 00:08:02,857 I just wanna help. 89 00:08:09,038 --> 00:08:11,370 Are you lonely, Danny? 90 00:08:12,508 --> 00:08:13,600 Danny... 91 00:08:14,309 --> 00:08:17,608 No one calls me that anymore. I like it. 92 00:08:20,249 --> 00:08:23,309 - Yes, I am. - Me, too. 93 00:08:26,822 --> 00:08:31,259 Look, Danny, I'm gonna be really honest with you. 94 00:08:31,326 --> 00:08:34,727 This baby's father hurt me really badly. 95 00:08:34,797 --> 00:08:37,766 And I'm not looking for anyone to replace him. 96 00:08:39,368 --> 00:08:42,064 What I need is a friend. 97 00:08:42,137 --> 00:08:43,126 Right. 98 00:08:43,205 --> 00:08:44,934 I understand. 99 00:08:45,007 --> 00:08:46,167 Friends. 100 00:09:00,189 --> 00:09:01,884 Teresa was wonderful. 101 00:09:01,957 --> 00:09:05,859 As the months passed by I realized that for the first time in my life, 102 00:09:05,928 --> 00:09:09,091 I knew what it was like to be in love. 103 00:09:09,164 --> 00:09:11,997 It didn't matter that she was pregnant with another bloke's baby. 104 00:09:12,067 --> 00:09:13,659 Or that we didn't... 105 00:09:13,735 --> 00:09:14,861 You know. 106 00:09:14,937 --> 00:09:16,302 I couldn't have cared less. 107 00:09:16,371 --> 00:09:19,306 All that mattered was her happiness. 108 00:09:19,374 --> 00:09:22,400 And he just went splat. 109 00:09:23,512 --> 00:09:26,106 That never happened. You're making it up. 110 00:09:26,181 --> 00:09:30,049 No one's daft enough to dry a wet hamster in a microwave oven. 111 00:09:30,119 --> 00:09:34,488 It happened to a friend of a sister of one of my customers... 112 00:09:34,556 --> 00:09:38,151 - It's true, I swear it. - What do you know? 113 00:09:38,961 --> 00:09:40,155 I know this. 114 00:09:40,929 --> 00:09:43,363 I really like having you here, Teresa. 115 00:09:43,432 --> 00:09:45,024 You can stay here as long as you want. 116 00:09:45,100 --> 00:09:47,694 You and the baby. I mean that. 117 00:09:54,877 --> 00:09:56,538 I appreciate that. 118 00:10:05,387 --> 00:10:06,945 I love you. 119 00:10:14,863 --> 00:10:16,797 I'll clear the dishes. 120 00:10:27,543 --> 00:10:29,773 That look she'd given me clinched it. 121 00:10:29,845 --> 00:10:33,144 She was in love with me, too, in a big way. 122 00:10:33,215 --> 00:10:34,978 It didn't matter how we started. 123 00:10:35,050 --> 00:10:38,383 We were together now and everything was perfect. 124 00:10:38,453 --> 00:10:42,412 Me, Teresa and the baby. 125 00:10:49,298 --> 00:10:51,926 I thought you said we were going to the cinema tonight. 126 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:56,403 I can't. Not with his tummy hurting. Why can't you go by yourself? 127 00:10:57,973 --> 00:11:01,465 Because I went by my bloody self last time! 128 00:11:03,312 --> 00:11:04,973 I want to go with you, like we used to. 129 00:11:05,047 --> 00:11:06,844 Oh, grow up, Daniel. 130 00:11:12,588 --> 00:11:14,180 Maybe he wouldn't be crying all the time 131 00:11:14,256 --> 00:11:16,918 if he didn't have that bloody, great stupid birthmark on his arse! 132 00:11:16,992 --> 00:11:17,981 Fuck you! 133 00:11:18,060 --> 00:11:20,722 I think it was obvious. I wasn't angry for me. 134 00:11:20,796 --> 00:11:22,627 I was angry for Teresa. 135 00:11:22,698 --> 00:11:26,293 That baby, Mr. Needy, was draining the life out of her. 136 00:11:26,368 --> 00:11:28,427 He always had to be the center of attention. 137 00:11:28,503 --> 00:11:29,834 It just wasn't healthy. 138 00:11:29,905 --> 00:11:32,373 For her own good, and for the good of our relationship, 139 00:11:32,441 --> 00:11:34,602 something had to be done. 140 00:11:34,676 --> 00:11:38,476 I'm sorry about last night. - It's all right. 141 00:11:38,547 --> 00:11:42,643 I think all our problems are just temporary. 142 00:11:56,465 --> 00:11:59,298 I always wanted to do mime. Did you? 143 00:12:02,704 --> 00:12:04,331 Do you want a hot dog? 144 00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:07,868 Yeah. Yeah, that would be lovely. 145 00:12:10,846 --> 00:12:13,747 Are you warm? Are you happy? 146 00:12:33,602 --> 00:12:35,069 Stop it, Bernard. 147 00:12:40,442 --> 00:12:43,468 Don't throw it so high, you're ruining my pacing. 148 00:12:43,545 --> 00:12:44,876 I warned you, 149 00:12:44,946 --> 00:12:48,211 but you had to go ahead and do it anyway, didn't you? 150 00:12:53,355 --> 00:12:56,256 I always end my act with it. 151 00:12:56,325 --> 00:12:59,317 It's my pièce de résistance, 152 00:12:59,394 --> 00:13:02,192 but you, you just couldn't leave well enough alone. 153 00:13:02,264 --> 00:13:03,822 Oh, you're jealous. 154 00:13:07,336 --> 00:13:12,672 The box within the box within the box has always been my illusion! 155 00:13:12,741 --> 00:13:15,938 - Mine! - Not anymore. I do it better! 156 00:13:16,011 --> 00:13:18,377 You stuck up bitch! 157 00:13:18,447 --> 00:13:19,436 Turn around! 158 00:13:19,581 --> 00:13:22,709 I told you. Don't criticize me! 159 00:13:22,784 --> 00:13:26,015 Stop it, you bastard, or I'll call the police! 160 00:13:52,581 --> 00:13:54,173 Danny! 161 00:13:57,285 --> 00:14:00,550 Stop! My baby! 162 00:14:00,622 --> 00:14:03,887 Stop him, he's got my baby! Someone! 163 00:14:03,959 --> 00:14:05,950 My baby! 164 00:14:08,530 --> 00:14:11,556 My baby! Stop him! 165 00:14:13,068 --> 00:14:16,435 - You all right? - Catch him! Get my baby! 166 00:14:19,741 --> 00:14:20,730 Stop! 167 00:14:22,644 --> 00:14:23,770 Stop! 168 00:14:23,845 --> 00:14:25,472 Come back! 169 00:14:26,715 --> 00:14:28,080 Come back! 170 00:14:30,318 --> 00:14:31,307 Stop! 171 00:14:32,621 --> 00:14:33,713 Stop! 172 00:14:35,924 --> 00:14:36,913 Stop! 173 00:14:46,034 --> 00:14:47,160 Stop! 174 00:15:01,283 --> 00:15:03,183 Everything had gone as planned. 175 00:15:03,251 --> 00:15:04,650 We were free. 176 00:15:10,659 --> 00:15:12,422 There must be something you could do. 177 00:15:12,494 --> 00:15:17,557 Look, I'd give up a month's pay if I could hand you that baby tonight. 178 00:15:17,632 --> 00:15:20,726 We're going to do everything we can. 179 00:15:20,802 --> 00:15:21,962 The birthmark helps, 180 00:15:22,037 --> 00:15:24,267 but if we could just have a better description of the guy who... 181 00:15:24,339 --> 00:15:27,934 I told you! I couldn't see him. What do you want from me? 182 00:15:28,009 --> 00:15:29,909 Teresa, come on, now. 183 00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:33,710 You did everything you could. 184 00:15:35,317 --> 00:15:36,909 We both did. 185 00:15:37,686 --> 00:15:40,746 Why did they take my baby? 186 00:15:59,908 --> 00:16:03,469 Here, give her these, they'll make her sleep. 187 00:16:03,545 --> 00:16:06,173 - Give you a chance to rest. - Thank you. 188 00:16:06,248 --> 00:16:08,773 For what it's worth, I've got three of my own. 189 00:16:08,850 --> 00:16:11,216 If I ever caught someone looking funny at one of them, 190 00:16:11,286 --> 00:16:15,518 I'd kill the bastard faster than he could scream police brutality. 191 00:16:15,590 --> 00:16:17,217 Look, Mr. Skeggs, 192 00:16:18,293 --> 00:16:20,022 I have to level with you. 193 00:16:20,095 --> 00:16:23,861 Over 100 babies turn up missing in this country every year. 194 00:16:23,932 --> 00:16:26,526 Most are what we call custody snatches, 195 00:16:26,601 --> 00:16:29,434 a few are grabbed by the emotionally disturbed, 196 00:16:29,504 --> 00:16:32,132 then there's the black market. 197 00:16:32,207 --> 00:16:33,868 The rest... 198 00:16:33,942 --> 00:16:38,675 So you're telling me the odds aren't good? 199 00:16:38,747 --> 00:16:41,682 I'm telling you to prepare yourself. 200 00:16:41,750 --> 00:16:46,187 If this doesn't work out, it's gonna be a long road back. 201 00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:53,689 I want my baby. 202 00:16:55,630 --> 00:16:58,258 - I want my baby back. - Don't worry. 203 00:16:59,834 --> 00:17:02,462 Please, God, give me back my baby. 204 00:17:02,537 --> 00:17:04,505 We'll get him back. 205 00:17:08,109 --> 00:17:09,371 Danny? 206 00:17:10,845 --> 00:17:12,005 Yeah? 207 00:17:12,747 --> 00:17:14,544 Will you sit with me? 208 00:17:15,350 --> 00:17:16,783 Please. 209 00:17:16,851 --> 00:17:18,375 Yeah, sure. 210 00:17:27,562 --> 00:17:32,363 Remember, no matter what happens, you've still got me. 211 00:17:32,434 --> 00:17:34,402 I'll still be here. 212 00:17:38,039 --> 00:17:40,405 It'll be like the old days. 213 00:17:40,475 --> 00:17:41,840 Better, even. 214 00:17:42,911 --> 00:17:45,744 We can have our own baby, if you want. 215 00:17:48,984 --> 00:17:50,349 I love you. 216 00:17:54,289 --> 00:17:56,587 Danny, don't. 217 00:17:59,260 --> 00:18:00,784 Stop it. 218 00:18:00,862 --> 00:18:02,523 Danny, stop. 219 00:18:02,597 --> 00:18:04,394 I want to show you. 220 00:18:05,166 --> 00:18:09,364 Danny. Danny, stop it! Stop it! 221 00:18:09,437 --> 00:18:11,530 Fuck, don't touch me! 222 00:18:11,606 --> 00:18:14,006 Don't you understand? I don't want you. 223 00:18:14,075 --> 00:18:16,305 I want my baby. 224 00:18:32,727 --> 00:18:35,161 Teresa needed a hero. 225 00:18:35,230 --> 00:18:38,859 If I could return the baby to her, she'd have to love me. 226 00:18:38,933 --> 00:18:40,230 You what? 227 00:18:41,269 --> 00:18:42,964 Get the fuck out of here. 228 00:18:43,038 --> 00:18:46,201 - I want my baby back. - You can't have him back. 229 00:18:46,274 --> 00:18:47,707 He's gone. 230 00:18:47,776 --> 00:18:50,370 What do you mean? You only picked him up the other day. 231 00:18:50,445 --> 00:18:53,710 Yeah, and he's already been placed, you Mancie. 232 00:18:55,550 --> 00:19:00,453 Do you have any idea what a white newborn baby is worth? 233 00:19:02,524 --> 00:19:03,650 Yeah. 234 00:19:05,193 --> 00:19:09,095 Exactly what you paid me. £2,000. 235 00:19:11,666 --> 00:19:14,464 Ten times that, idiot. 236 00:19:14,536 --> 00:19:16,766 I know doctors and lawyers who'd queue up 237 00:19:16,838 --> 00:19:19,534 round the block for a placement like him. 238 00:19:19,607 --> 00:19:24,635 That kid was signed, sealed and delivered in under two hours. 239 00:19:26,047 --> 00:19:28,379 Now, look, you get my baby back 240 00:19:28,450 --> 00:19:31,044 or I'll have the police in here so fast your head will spin. 241 00:19:31,119 --> 00:19:33,713 Okay, okay. Sit down. 242 00:19:33,788 --> 00:19:37,724 - You made your point. - Just get me my baby back. 243 00:19:42,197 --> 00:19:43,494 Snaps! 244 00:19:44,299 --> 00:19:47,097 Meet Daniel Skeggs. 245 00:19:53,641 --> 00:19:57,077 - How's it hanging, Skeggs? - All right, I suppose. 246 00:19:57,145 --> 00:20:01,809 Mr. Skeggs here was just telling me he wanted his baby back. 247 00:20:01,883 --> 00:20:06,252 He said if we don't, he's going to call the police. 248 00:20:06,354 --> 00:20:08,652 Sounds pretty grim. 249 00:20:08,723 --> 00:20:10,520 I'm desperate. 250 00:20:10,592 --> 00:20:11,957 My girlfriend... 251 00:20:12,026 --> 00:20:14,859 We paid you good money for the kid. 252 00:20:14,929 --> 00:20:18,160 That makes you an accessory to kidnapping. 253 00:20:18,233 --> 00:20:20,394 The police wouldn't like that much. 254 00:20:20,468 --> 00:20:22,060 But they wouldn't have to know. 255 00:20:22,137 --> 00:20:24,571 You're still not getting it, Skeggs. 256 00:20:26,241 --> 00:20:28,106 It's like this! 257 00:20:28,176 --> 00:20:30,201 If I ever see you again, 258 00:20:30,278 --> 00:20:32,872 if I ever even hear your name, 259 00:20:34,749 --> 00:20:37,309 you are a dead man! 260 00:20:43,691 --> 00:20:45,090 Now... 261 00:20:46,027 --> 00:20:47,551 Get him out of here. 262 00:21:01,442 --> 00:21:02,932 Teresa? 263 00:21:06,181 --> 00:21:08,649 - Teresa? - Danny, 264 00:21:08,716 --> 00:21:10,741 can't you see he's asleep? 265 00:21:10,819 --> 00:21:15,256 Mummy's little baby was hiding in the rubbish behind the flat, weren't you? 266 00:21:15,323 --> 00:21:16,415 Yes, you were. But I found him. 267 00:21:16,491 --> 00:21:19,426 No! No! 268 00:21:19,494 --> 00:21:21,462 No! 269 00:21:24,632 --> 00:21:25,997 I'll take him back. 270 00:21:26,067 --> 00:21:27,659 Sorry, what did you say? 271 00:21:27,735 --> 00:21:29,293 My baby. 272 00:21:29,370 --> 00:21:31,463 Please, give him to me. 273 00:21:31,539 --> 00:21:34,099 Holding the baby suddenly got me thinking. 274 00:21:34,175 --> 00:21:37,144 I can make Teresa better and be her hero. 275 00:21:37,212 --> 00:21:38,406 All babies look alike. 276 00:21:38,479 --> 00:21:40,674 They all eat, sleep and cry. 277 00:21:40,748 --> 00:21:42,147 What's the difference? 278 00:21:42,217 --> 00:21:44,708 If you ask me, one baby's as good as another. 279 00:21:44,786 --> 00:21:45,878 Thank you. 280 00:21:47,589 --> 00:21:48,954 No! 281 00:21:49,023 --> 00:21:52,457 My baby! 282 00:21:53,294 --> 00:21:54,784 My baby! 283 00:22:20,655 --> 00:22:22,020 It's all right. 284 00:22:26,861 --> 00:22:28,954 The boss was right about you, mate. 285 00:22:29,030 --> 00:22:31,760 - He had a feeling you'd try something. - Over here. 286 00:22:31,833 --> 00:22:33,164 - There he is! - Come on, let's get him! 287 00:22:33,234 --> 00:22:35,725 - Get him! - Give me that kid! 288 00:22:35,803 --> 00:22:37,464 - After him! - Stop him! 289 00:22:37,538 --> 00:22:38,937 Give me that kid! 290 00:22:39,007 --> 00:22:40,804 Get the baby away! 291 00:22:51,986 --> 00:22:53,476 Bastard! 292 00:22:53,554 --> 00:22:55,249 Give him to me. 293 00:23:05,099 --> 00:23:08,830 It was Teresa's baby, my baby. 294 00:23:08,903 --> 00:23:12,031 But there was nothing I could do about it now. 295 00:23:12,106 --> 00:23:15,041 It's funny the effect a baby can have on people. 296 00:23:18,413 --> 00:23:19,846 Poor Daniel. 297 00:23:19,914 --> 00:23:24,044 I bet he never thought he'd get such a kick from falling in love. 298 00:23:24,118 --> 00:23:27,679 At least in the end, he did the writhe thing. 299 00:23:31,192 --> 00:23:34,923 As for me, kiddies, I've got to get back to my game. 300 00:23:34,996 --> 00:23:37,988 I've been on quite a winning shriek. 301 00:23:41,669 --> 00:23:45,400 Now, that's what I call a service break.