1 00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:17,510 AH HA HA HA! 2 00:01:30,390 --> 00:01:32,892 OH, HELLO KIDDIES. 3 00:01:33,393 --> 00:01:37,897 TONIGHT'S COFFIN CAPER IS SO CRAMMED WITH GHASTLY GREED 4 00:01:38,398 --> 00:01:41,401 SICKENING SEX AND VOMITUS VIOLENCE. 5 00:01:41,436 --> 00:01:44,369 THAT PARENTAL GUIDANCE IS ADVISED. 6 00:01:44,404 --> 00:01:49,409 SO GUIDE YOUR PARENTS OUT OF THE ROOM SO WE CAN HAVE SOME FUN. 7 00:01:49,444 --> 00:01:51,411 HA HA HA HA HA HA! 8 00:01:52,412 --> 00:01:55,164 THIS TALE CONCERNS A GAMBLING MAN 9 00:01:55,199 --> 00:01:57,809 WITH A BAD CASE OF DOUBLE VISION 10 00:01:57,844 --> 00:02:00,385 WHO'S ABOUT TO HIT THEHACKPOT. 11 00:02:00,420 --> 00:02:03,223 I CALL THIS TWIN HELPING OF HORROR... 12 00:02:03,258 --> 00:02:06,726 SPLIT PERSONALITY. 13 00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:20,473 AH, THE BUZZARD TOOK THE MONKEY 14 00:02:20,508 --> 00:02:21,873 FOR A RIDE IN THE AIR 15 00:02:21,908 --> 00:02:23,910 THE MONKEY THOUGHT THAT EVERYTHING 16 00:02:23,945 --> 00:02:25,376 WAS ON THE SQUARE 17 00:02:25,411 --> 00:02:27,480 THE BUZZARD TRIED TO THROW THE MONKEY 18 00:02:27,515 --> 00:02:28,481 OFF HIS BACK 19 00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:31,951 THE MONKEY GRABBED HIS NECK AND SAID, "NOW, LISTEN, JACK" 20 00:02:31,986 --> 00:02:34,988 "STRAIGHTEN UP AND FLY RIGHT" 21 00:02:35,488 --> 00:02:38,241 "STRAIGHTEN UP AND FLY RIGHT" 22 00:02:38,276 --> 00:02:40,959 "STRAIGHTEN UP AND FLY RIGHT" 23 00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:43,997 "OH, COOL DOWN, PAPA, DON'T YOU BLOW YOUR TOP" 24 00:02:44,032 --> 00:02:45,498 WELL, THE BUZZARD TOLD THE MONKEY 25 00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:47,465 "YOU ARE CHOKING ME" 26 00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:50,468 "RELEASE YOUR HOLD, AND I'LL SET YOU FREE" 27 00:02:50,503 --> 00:02:53,471 THE MONKEY LOOKED THE BUZZARD RIGHT DEAD IN THE EYE 28 00:02:53,506 --> 00:02:55,258 SAID, "YOUR STORY'S TOUCHING, BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE A LIE" 29 00:02:55,293 --> 00:02:57,010 SAID, "YOUR STORY'S TOUCHING, BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE A LIE" 30 00:03:06,753 --> 00:03:08,288 HIT ME. 31 00:03:10,089 --> 00:03:12,257 I'M SORRY. I'M NEW AT THIS. 32 00:03:12,292 --> 00:03:16,362 THESE GREEN CHIPS ARE WORTH $5.00, RIGHT? 33 00:03:16,397 --> 00:03:17,581 $50, SIR. 34 00:03:17,616 --> 00:03:18,730 NO, NO, NO. 35 00:03:18,765 --> 00:03:22,468 I MADE A MISTAKE I MEANT TO BET 5. 36 00:03:22,869 --> 00:03:24,304 THE BET'S ON THE TABLE. 37 00:03:24,637 --> 00:03:25,572 I MADE A MISTAKE. 38 00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:27,207 THE BET'S ON THE TABLE. 39 00:03:27,407 --> 00:03:30,476 I MADE A MISTAKE. I CAN'T AFFORD THIS MUCH. 40 00:03:30,977 --> 00:03:32,478 I'M SORRY, SIR. HOUSE RULES. 41 00:03:32,979 --> 00:03:35,682 THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO. 42 00:03:38,818 --> 00:03:40,887 HIT ME. 43 00:03:43,256 --> 00:03:44,824 19. DEALER COULD HAVE 20. 44 00:03:45,325 --> 00:03:47,759 WOULD YOU LIKE ANOTHER CARD, SIR? 45 00:03:47,794 --> 00:03:49,862 UH... YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS, 46 00:03:50,363 --> 00:03:52,330 BUT MY KID, YOU KNOW... 47 00:03:52,365 --> 00:03:55,335 HE CAN'T TAKE CARE OF HIMSELF. 48 00:03:55,768 --> 00:03:57,302 NOW THEY TELL ME 49 00:03:57,337 --> 00:03:58,638 HE HAS THIS KIDNEY THING. 50 00:03:58,838 --> 00:04:00,673 THE INSURANCE WON'T COVER IT 51 00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:04,244 BECAUSE I HAD TROUBLE IN THE ARMY, IN NAM. 52 00:04:04,477 --> 00:04:06,479 WOULD YOU LIKE ANOTHER CARD, SIR? 53 00:04:11,851 --> 00:04:13,218 GO AHEAD. 54 00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:17,423 YOU MAKE BLACKJACK ON THE NEXT CARD, 55 00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:20,510 THE HOUSE PAYS 5 TO 1. 56 00:04:20,545 --> 00:04:22,955 IF HE GIVES ME A 2. 57 00:04:22,990 --> 00:04:25,330 100 SAYS IT IS. 58 00:04:25,365 --> 00:04:27,617 YOU GOT MORE TO LOSE? 59 00:04:27,652 --> 00:04:30,370 UH, WHAT THE HELL. 60 00:04:32,739 --> 00:04:34,207 DEAL ME A 2. 61 00:04:43,516 --> 00:04:45,984 HEY. 62 00:04:46,019 --> 00:04:48,021 HEH HEH HEH! 63 00:04:48,056 --> 00:04:48,953 THERE. 64 00:04:48,988 --> 00:04:50,321 WHOA, WHOA. 65 00:04:50,356 --> 00:04:53,424 NO, THAT'S FOR YOUR BOYS OPERATION. 66 00:04:53,459 --> 00:04:55,361 ARE YOU KIDDING I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND THE GAME. 67 00:04:55,396 --> 00:04:57,395 NO. I CAN'T TAKE IT. 68 00:04:57,430 --> 00:04:59,899 NO. IT'S THE LEAST I CAN DO. 69 00:05:07,373 --> 00:05:09,309 I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY, DAN. 70 00:05:09,344 --> 00:05:12,243 DON. 71 00:05:12,278 --> 00:05:14,814 LISTEN, DON. 72 00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:18,818 IT'S VERY KIND OF YOU, BUT I CANNOT ACCEPT IT. 73 00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:20,251 YOU KEEP THAT. 74 00:05:20,286 --> 00:05:23,623 MY GUT SAYS YOU NEED THAT MORE THAN I. 75 00:05:23,658 --> 00:05:24,922 MY GUT NEVER LIES, 76 00:05:24,957 --> 00:05:27,710 LIKE KNOWING THAT 2 WAS WAITING FOR YOU. 77 00:05:27,745 --> 00:05:30,428 LET ME TELL YOU, 2'S MY LUCKY NUMBER. 78 00:05:30,463 --> 00:05:34,467 THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE COME IN TWOS, UNDERSTAND? 79 00:05:34,502 --> 00:05:38,604 THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE COMES IN TWOS. 80 00:05:38,639 --> 00:05:40,673 MAKE IT TWO DOUBLES. 81 00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:44,642 LOOK, DON. 82 00:05:44,677 --> 00:05:47,645 I'M NOT GOING TO LIE TO YOU. 83 00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:50,116 I'M NOT IN GREAT FINANCIAL SHAPE, 84 00:05:50,151 --> 00:05:52,517 BUT I CAN STILL CALL A FAVOR. 85 00:05:52,552 --> 00:05:56,622 I KNOW YOU NEED A WAD FOR YOUR MEDICAL EXPENSES, 86 00:05:56,657 --> 00:05:57,957 SO HERE'S THE DEAL. 87 00:05:58,224 --> 00:05:58,224 SO HERE'S THE DEAL. 88 00:06:00,293 --> 00:06:02,260 I GOT AN INSIDE LINE 89 00:06:02,295 --> 00:06:06,299 ON A NO-RISK, TAX-FREE, LIMITED-PARTNERSHIP INVESTMENT 90 00:06:06,334 --> 00:06:08,768 GUARANTEED TO DOUBLE OUR MONEY. 91 00:06:08,803 --> 00:06:10,568 MINIMUM-10 GRAND. 92 00:06:10,603 --> 00:06:13,889 YOU KEEP THAT CASH. WRITE ME A PERSONAL CHECK. 93 00:06:13,924 --> 00:06:17,252 GIVE ME YOUR ADDRESS AND YOUR PHONE NUMBER. 94 00:06:17,287 --> 00:06:20,580 INSIDE TWO WEEKS, WE'RE SITTING PRETTY. 95 00:06:20,615 --> 00:06:22,613 YOUR BOY GETS HIS OPERATION. 96 00:06:22,648 --> 00:06:24,817 FRIENDS DOING EACH OTHER A FAVOR. 97 00:06:25,318 --> 00:06:26,919 WHAT DO YOU SAY, DAN? 98 00:06:26,954 --> 00:06:28,421 DON. 99 00:06:30,990 --> 00:06:33,960 AND HOW WOULD YOU LIKE THAT, SIR? 100 00:06:33,995 --> 00:06:37,730 HUNDREDS WILL BE JUST FINE. 101 00:06:42,802 --> 00:06:44,804 ALWAYS A PLEASURE, JIMMY. 102 00:06:46,806 --> 00:06:48,307 DON'T MENTION IT, SLICK. 103 00:06:50,309 --> 00:06:53,679 I GOT TO GET OUT OF THIS SHIT HOLE. 104 00:06:53,980 --> 00:06:57,049 I'M SORRY TIRED OF DODGING FEDS. 105 00:06:57,084 --> 00:06:59,569 SWEET-TALKING OLD LADIES 106 00:06:59,604 --> 00:07:02,054 OUT OF THEIR RAINY-DAY CASH. 107 00:07:05,057 --> 00:07:07,024 ONE OF THESE DAYS. 108 00:07:07,059 --> 00:07:10,062 ONE OF THESE DAYS, I'M GOING TO SETTLE DOWN. 109 00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:13,065 I'M GOING TO MAKE THAT BIG CON. 110 00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:15,067 WHO KNOWS... 111 00:07:16,569 --> 00:07:18,070 MAYBE I'LL EVEN GET MARRIED. 112 00:07:20,072 --> 00:07:22,675 DID YOU PAY ME TO FUCK OR LISTEN TO YOUR LIFE STORY? 113 00:07:22,710 --> 00:07:25,211 SHUT UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP! 114 00:07:25,711 --> 00:07:29,682 I PAY YOU TO BE, WHAT EVER. 115 00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:38,624 I REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME I SAW THAT PICTURE 116 00:07:38,659 --> 00:07:41,092 THE PARENT TRAP WITH HAYLEY MILLS. 117 00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:46,132 I USED TO POP A WOODY EVERY TIME I SAW THOSE TWO DO A SCENE. 118 00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:52,138 I ALWAYS WANTED TO MAKE IT WITH TWINS. 119 00:07:52,438 --> 00:07:52,438 I ALWAYS WANTED TO MAKE IT WITH TWINS. 120 00:07:53,239 --> 00:07:56,742 CATERINA 121 00:07:56,777 --> 00:07:59,262 OH HO HO 122 00:07:59,297 --> 00:08:01,712 OH HO HO 123 00:08:01,747 --> 00:08:04,750 WHEN WE KISS, PRETTY MISS, PRETTY MISS 124 00:08:04,785 --> 00:08:06,836 I'M IN ECSTASY 125 00:08:06,871 --> 00:08:08,888 SI, SI, SI, SI 126 00:08:09,121 --> 00:08:11,924 OH, HOW HAPPY MY LIFE WOULD BE 127 00:08:12,425 --> 00:08:15,428 IF I KNEW THAT YOU LOVED JUST ME 128 00:08:15,463 --> 00:08:17,447 SAY IT'S TRUE 129 00:08:17,482 --> 00:08:19,958 SAY YOU DO 130 00:08:19,993 --> 00:08:22,435 CATERINA 131 00:08:22,768 --> 00:08:22,768 CATERINA 132 00:08:38,284 --> 00:08:39,285 SON OF A BITCH! 133 00:08:39,785 --> 00:08:39,785 SON OF A BITCH! 134 00:08:47,627 --> 00:08:50,296 TALK ABOUT A WARM WELCOME. 135 00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:20,726 WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS PIECE OF SHIT. 136 00:09:39,845 --> 00:09:41,479 COME IN. 137 00:09:41,514 --> 00:09:44,584 THANK YOU. DON'T MIND IF I DO. 138 00:09:47,019 --> 00:09:48,054 HELLO? 139 00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:48,421 HELLO? 140 00:10:09,208 --> 00:10:12,243 "ETCHYSON DOBBS BLAIR." 141 00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:15,648 WHAT A GOOFY LOOKING FUCK HE WAS. 142 00:10:15,683 --> 00:10:17,582 DON'T MOVE! 143 00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:21,420 UNLESS YOU WANT YOUR BRAINS ALL OVER DADDY'S PICTURE. 144 00:10:21,455 --> 00:10:24,423 HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE ANYWAYS? 145 00:10:24,458 --> 00:10:25,890 TAKE IT EASY, O. K.? 146 00:10:25,925 --> 00:10:28,327 I JUST HAD A LITTLE ACCIDENT. 147 00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:31,163 I JUST WANT TO MAKE A PHONE CALL. 148 00:10:31,530 --> 00:10:32,465 I PROMISE. 149 00:10:43,342 --> 00:10:44,576 I'M APRIL. 150 00:10:44,611 --> 00:10:45,811 THAT'S JUNE. 151 00:10:46,178 --> 00:10:47,513 WHAT HAPPENED TO MAY? 152 00:10:48,748 --> 00:10:49,780 EXCUSE ME. 153 00:10:49,815 --> 00:10:52,668 PARDON MY ATTEMPT AT A LITTLE LEVITY. 154 00:10:52,703 --> 00:10:55,521 I'LL JUST USE THE TELEPHONE, O. K.? 155 00:10:55,556 --> 00:10:56,554 DON'T DO NOTHING. 156 00:10:56,589 --> 00:10:58,090 THANK YOU. THANK YOU. 157 00:10:58,125 --> 00:10:59,091 SEE? 158 00:10:59,525 --> 00:11:02,361 I JUST WANT TO USE THE PHONE. 159 00:11:02,595 --> 00:11:03,996 YOU HAVE A BEAUTIFUL HOME. 160 00:11:04,263 --> 00:11:07,500 NEXT TO THE CASE OBSERVATORY UP IN OAK VALLEY, 161 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,002 I THINK THAT THIS HOUSE MIGHT BE BLAIR'S 162 00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:12,555 GREATEST ARCHITECTURAL ACHIEVEMENT. 163 00:11:12,590 --> 00:11:14,607 GERMAN EXPRESSION EASTERN INFLUENCE, 164 00:11:14,642 --> 00:11:17,541 50'S FUTURISM. 165 00:11:17,576 --> 00:11:19,912 YOU KNEW WHO OUR FATHER WAS? YOU KNEW WHO OUR FATHER WAS? 166 00:11:19,947 --> 00:11:22,866 ARE YOU KIDDING? THE MAN WAS A GENIUS. 167 00:11:22,901 --> 00:11:25,785 IF YOU LOOK ATWHO'S WHO IN ARCHITECTURE, 168 00:11:25,820 --> 00:11:27,787 YOUR FATHER'S THE ONLY LISTING. 169 00:11:27,822 --> 00:11:29,253 I DON'T KNOW ANYBODY 170 00:11:29,288 --> 00:11:32,091 WHO TOOK THE INFLUENCE OF THE BAUHAUS SCHOOL 171 00:11:32,591 --> 00:11:35,628 AND ADAPTED IT BETTER TO HIS OWN UNIQUE STYLE. 172 00:11:35,663 --> 00:11:38,097 THE GUY WAS UNBELIEVABLE. 173 00:11:38,132 --> 00:11:39,398 I NEED A TOW TRUCK. 174 00:11:39,433 --> 00:11:41,634 DO THAT LATER. 175 00:11:41,867 --> 00:11:43,401 YOU'VE BEEN IN AN ACCIDENT. 176 00:11:43,436 --> 00:11:45,938 WELL, IT WASN'T A SERIOUS ACCIDENT. 177 00:11:45,973 --> 00:11:47,440 WHAT'S YOUR NAME AGAIN? 178 00:11:47,475 --> 00:11:48,406 I'M APRIL. 179 00:11:48,441 --> 00:11:49,942 A PLEASURE. AND YOU? 180 00:11:49,977 --> 00:11:51,409 JUNE. 181 00:11:51,444 --> 00:11:53,744 VERY NICE TO SEE YOU. 182 00:11:53,779 --> 00:11:55,613 WE DON'T HAVE MANY VISITORS. 183 00:11:55,648 --> 00:11:58,651 REALLY? GIRLS AS BEAUTIFUL AS YOU TWO? 184 00:11:59,151 --> 00:12:01,118 I FIND THAT HARD TO BELIEVE. 185 00:12:01,153 --> 00:12:04,023 THE OCCASIONAL ARCHITECTURAL JOURNAL, BUT... 186 00:12:04,323 --> 00:12:05,891 MOST PEOPLE THINK WE'RE NAIVE. 187 00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:08,828 THEY'D LOVE TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF US. 188 00:12:09,228 --> 00:12:11,797 YOU DIDN'T KNOW WE WERE WORTH 2 BILLION? 189 00:12:16,102 --> 00:12:18,135 SO THERE I WAS AT SOTHERBY'S. 190 00:12:18,170 --> 00:12:19,972 WHEN MY GOOD FRIEND, PRESTON CHATFIELD. 191 00:12:20,473 --> 00:12:21,806 THE HYANNIS PORT, CHATFIELDS. 192 00:12:21,841 --> 00:12:27,311 AND I WAS READY TO MAKE A BID ON THIS EXQUISITE LAMP. 193 00:12:27,346 --> 00:12:32,017 AND ALL OF A SUDDEN I NOTICED A TINIEST SCRATCH ON THE FINISH. 194 00:12:32,052 --> 00:12:34,704 I SAID, OH, MY CAT DID THAT TWO YEARS AGO. 195 00:12:34,739 --> 00:12:37,356 THAT LAMP USED TO BE IN MY COLLECTION. 196 00:12:37,391 --> 00:12:38,908 COULD YOU IMAGINE. 197 00:12:38,943 --> 00:12:40,151 DO YOU LIKE CATS? 198 00:12:40,186 --> 00:12:41,360 DO I LIKE CATS? 199 00:12:41,861 --> 00:12:45,498 SOMETIMES I TRUST CATS MORE THAN I DO PEOPLE. 200 00:12:52,838 --> 00:12:54,723 SOMEBODY CALL FOR A TOE TRUCK? 201 00:12:54,758 --> 00:12:56,609 I KNEW IT WAS TOO GOOD TO LAST. 202 00:12:58,711 --> 00:13:02,047 WELL, LADIES THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR HOSPITALITY. 203 00:13:04,016 --> 00:13:07,019 I HOPE I DIDN'T CAUSE TOO MUCH OF AN INCONVENIENCE. 204 00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:10,389 I AM TRULY HUMBLED. 205 00:13:10,956 --> 00:13:12,057 MR. STETSON? 206 00:13:13,125 --> 00:13:15,659 MY SISTER AND I... 207 00:13:15,694 --> 00:13:17,196 IF YOU'D CARE TO COME BY AGAIN. 208 00:13:18,731 --> 00:13:21,966 I FIGURED I MUST OF DIED AND WENT TO HEAVEN. 209 00:13:22,001 --> 00:13:25,571 AT FIRST I COULDN'T FIGURE OUT WHY A COUPLE RICH BABES LIKE THAT 210 00:13:25,606 --> 00:13:27,037 HOLED UP LIKE HERMITS? 211 00:13:27,072 --> 00:13:31,577 HEY, WHEN FISH COME TO YOU ALREADY IN A BARREL, 212 00:13:31,612 --> 00:13:34,079 A GUY CAN'T COMPLAIN TOO MUCH. 213 00:13:34,114 --> 00:13:36,547 SO, I WENT TO WORK. 214 00:13:36,582 --> 00:13:43,338 EVERYBODY LOVES SOMEBODY SOMETIME 215 00:13:43,373 --> 00:13:50,060 EVERYBODY FALLS IN LOVE SOMEHOW 216 00:13:50,095 --> 00:13:55,601 SOMETHING IN YOUR KISS JUST TOLD ME 217 00:13:55,636 --> 00:13:57,102 MY SOMETIME... 218 00:14:00,105 --> 00:14:01,572 AND SLOWLY BUT SURELY, 219 00:14:01,607 --> 00:14:06,111 THEY STARTED TO COME OUT OF THE SHELLS THEY WERE IN. 220 00:14:06,146 --> 00:14:08,078 ICEBERGS STARTING TO THAW OUT. 221 00:14:08,113 --> 00:14:13,869 THERE'S NO TELLING WHERE LOVE MAY APPEAR 222 00:14:13,904 --> 00:14:18,533 SOMETHING IN MY HEART KEEPS SAYING... 223 00:14:18,568 --> 00:14:23,162 I WAS REELING THEM IN, ALL RIGHT. 224 00:14:23,629 --> 00:14:26,381 ARE YOU THINKING WHAT I'M THINKING? 225 00:14:26,416 --> 00:14:29,099 I ONLY WISH THERE WERE TWO OF HIM. 226 00:14:29,134 --> 00:14:32,638 THEN THE DAY CAME I HAD TO MAKE MY MOVE. 227 00:14:32,673 --> 00:14:35,641 I HAD TO GET EACH OF THEM ALONE. 228 00:14:35,676 --> 00:14:37,676 AND WHEN I DID, 229 00:14:38,143 --> 00:14:40,179 THAT'S WHEN THINGS GOT REAL INTERESTING. 230 00:14:46,118 --> 00:14:50,623 YOU SEE, DADDY DESIGNED BOTH BEDROOMS EXACTLY ALIKE... 231 00:14:51,123 --> 00:14:53,625 LIKE TWO SIDES OF A MIRROR. 232 00:14:53,660 --> 00:14:56,128 KIND OF LIKE ME AND JUNE. 233 00:14:56,629 --> 00:14:57,630 OH, YEAH? 234 00:14:57,665 --> 00:14:58,631 MM-HMM. 235 00:14:59,131 --> 00:15:00,883 WHERE IS JUNE ANYWAY? 236 00:15:00,918 --> 00:15:02,600 APRIL? OH, SHE WENT OUT. 237 00:15:02,635 --> 00:15:06,639 HASN'T BEEN OUT OF THE HOUSE IN MONTHS. 238 00:15:07,139 --> 00:15:08,140 JUNE'S ALWAYS BEEN 239 00:15:08,641 --> 00:15:11,143 A LITTLE MORE OUTGOING THAN ME, ANYWAY. 240 00:15:11,644 --> 00:15:14,647 WE NEVER NEEDED TO GO OUT BEFORE DADDY DIED. 241 00:15:15,147 --> 00:15:16,649 WE FOUGHT OVER HIM CONSTANTLY, 242 00:15:17,149 --> 00:15:19,151 BUT NOW WE HAVE EACH OTHER. 243 00:15:19,652 --> 00:15:22,154 YOU TWO ARE PRETTY CLOSE, AREN'T YOU? 244 00:15:22,655 --> 00:15:24,156 INSEPARABLE. 245 00:15:24,657 --> 00:15:26,624 UNTIL NOW. 246 00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:28,125 SHE SEEMS SWEET. 247 00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:31,330 OH, SHE IS... UNLESS YOU CROSS HER. 248 00:15:31,365 --> 00:15:32,548 COME AGAIN? 249 00:15:32,583 --> 00:15:33,732 WELL, I MEAN, 250 00:15:34,199 --> 00:15:36,769 EVERYONE HAS A DARK SIDE, DON'T THEY? 251 00:15:37,269 --> 00:15:38,604 THE SIDE YOU DON'T SEE. 252 00:15:39,171 --> 00:15:40,539 SHE'S GOT A TEMPER, HUH? 253 00:15:41,106 --> 00:15:42,406 ALMOST LIKE A SPLIT PERSONALITY. 254 00:15:42,441 --> 00:15:46,779 I CAN'T SEE YOUR SISTER OR YOU HURTING A FLY. 255 00:15:47,346 --> 00:15:48,314 YOU DON'T KNOW. 256 00:15:48,881 --> 00:15:51,383 LOOK, I WOULD NEVER SAY THIS TO HER, 257 00:15:51,884 --> 00:15:54,887 SO IT'S GOT TO BE OUR LITTLE SECRET, O. K.? 258 00:15:55,387 --> 00:15:57,489 MY SISTER AND I DON'T HAVE SECRETS. 259 00:15:58,057 --> 00:16:01,226 WE SHARE EVERYTHING... 50-50. 260 00:16:01,727 --> 00:16:03,796 BUT THIS MIGHT HURT HER FEELINGS. 261 00:16:04,296 --> 00:16:06,498 YOU DON'T WANT THAT, DO YOU? 262 00:16:07,066 --> 00:16:12,137 SEE, I'M AFRAID YOU TWO AIN'T EXACTLY IDENTICAL. 263 00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:14,340 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 264 00:16:14,907 --> 00:16:17,042 ONE OF YOU IS A LITTLE MORE BEAUTIFUL 265 00:16:17,576 --> 00:16:19,345 THAN THE OTHER. 266 00:16:23,315 --> 00:16:26,385 NO OFFENSE, BUT FOR A COUPLE OF WALLFLOWERS 267 00:16:26,420 --> 00:16:28,352 WHO DON'T GET OUT MUCH, 268 00:16:28,387 --> 00:16:32,057 THESE TWO MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE A NUN. 269 00:16:35,861 --> 00:16:38,864 I GOT THEM IN THE PALM OF MY HAND. 270 00:16:39,431 --> 00:16:42,901 EITHER ONE WOULD MARRY ME IN A NEW YORK MINUTE. 271 00:16:42,936 --> 00:16:46,472 ALL I GOT TO DO IS POP THE QUESTION. 272 00:16:46,972 --> 00:16:50,726 BUT THAT ONLY GETS ME HALF THE FORTUNE. 273 00:16:50,761 --> 00:16:54,480 THEY BOTH GOT EQUAL SAY IN EVERY CENT- 274 00:16:54,515 --> 00:16:57,448 50-50. 275 00:16:57,483 --> 00:17:03,489 THE ONLY WAY I CAN GET IT ALL IS IF I MARRY BOTH OF THEM. 276 00:17:03,524 --> 00:17:04,990 PPFFT. 277 00:17:05,991 --> 00:17:09,995 AND THE ONLY WAY I COULD DO THAT... 278 00:17:10,030 --> 00:17:11,962 HUH... 279 00:17:11,997 --> 00:17:16,502 IS IF THERE WERE... 280 00:17:16,537 --> 00:17:18,303 TWO OF ME! 281 00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:19,605 TWIN BROTHER? TWIN BROTHER? 282 00:17:20,139 --> 00:17:24,543 I WAS EMBARRASSED TO BRING IT UP TILL NOW. 283 00:17:24,578 --> 00:17:26,076 WHAT'S HIS NAME? 284 00:17:26,111 --> 00:17:28,614 HIS NAME IS JACK. HE'S IN SOUTH AFRICA. 285 00:17:28,649 --> 00:17:30,115 WE HAVE HOLDINGS THERE. 286 00:17:30,682 --> 00:17:34,853 BUSINESS DEMANDS THAT ONE OF US STAY THERE AT ALL TIMES. 287 00:17:34,888 --> 00:17:36,772 HE STAYS THERE A MONTH. 288 00:17:36,807 --> 00:17:38,657 I SPOT HIM THE NEXT. 289 00:17:39,224 --> 00:17:40,125 THIS MEANS... 290 00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:41,394 YOU'RE LEAVING? 291 00:17:41,429 --> 00:17:42,593 I'M AFRAID SO. 292 00:17:42,628 --> 00:17:43,762 IT'S ONLY FOR A MONTH. 293 00:17:44,329 --> 00:17:46,932 MY BROTHER WILL BE HOME IN A FEW DAYS. 294 00:17:47,499 --> 00:17:48,232 I TOLD HIM ABOUT YOU TWO. 295 00:17:48,267 --> 00:17:50,836 MAYBE HE COULD DROP BY FOR A LITTLE VISIT? 296 00:17:51,236 --> 00:17:55,541 BUT, I MUST WARN YOU, HE'S MORE OUT GOING THAN I AM. 297 00:17:55,576 --> 00:17:57,007 HE'S NOT AS EDUCATED OR WELL SPOKEN. 298 00:17:57,042 --> 00:18:00,045 YOU KNOW HE TALKS THAT CALIFORNIA JARGON. 299 00:18:00,546 --> 00:18:02,448 AND HE'S VERY FLAMBOYANT. 300 00:18:08,821 --> 00:18:10,856 WHOA, LADIES. 301 00:18:11,290 --> 00:18:14,526 VIC TOLD ME YOU WERE RADICAL BABES, 302 00:18:14,561 --> 00:18:15,993 BUT I MUST CONFESS 303 00:18:16,028 --> 00:18:19,098 TO BEING TOTALLY STOKED AND OVERWHELMED, YOU DIG? 304 00:18:19,133 --> 00:18:20,566 HEE HEE! HEE HEE! 305 00:18:20,601 --> 00:18:23,500 HA HA HA! 306 00:18:23,535 --> 00:18:26,304 I'M TOO SEXY FOR MILAN 307 00:18:26,339 --> 00:18:29,039 TOO SEXY FOR MILAN 308 00:18:29,074 --> 00:18:31,041 DO YOU, APRIL DOBBS BLAIR, 309 00:18:31,076 --> 00:18:34,079 TAKE THIS MAN TO HAVE AND TO HOLD 310 00:18:34,114 --> 00:18:36,013 IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH 311 00:18:36,048 --> 00:18:39,051 AS LONG AS YOU BOTH SHALL LIVE? 312 00:18:39,086 --> 00:18:40,552 I DO. 313 00:18:46,091 --> 00:18:48,025 DO YOU, JUNE ETCHYSON BLAIR, 314 00:18:48,060 --> 00:18:51,063 TAKE THIS MAN TO HONOR AND CHERISH 315 00:18:51,098 --> 00:18:53,030 IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH 316 00:18:53,065 --> 00:18:56,068 AS LONG AS YOU BOTH SHALL LIVE? 317 00:18:56,103 --> 00:18:57,534 I DO. 318 00:18:57,569 --> 00:19:00,037 BY THE POWERS VESTED IN ME, 319 00:19:00,072 --> 00:19:02,975 I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU HUSBAND AND WIFE. 320 00:19:03,010 --> 00:19:06,044 BINGO. 321 00:19:32,404 --> 00:19:35,372 HO! HEY! SHUT THAT! 322 00:19:35,407 --> 00:19:37,325 CHARLIE CHAN, EXCUSE ME. 323 00:19:37,360 --> 00:19:39,209 I DON'T MEAN TO INTRUDE, 324 00:19:39,244 --> 00:19:42,614 BUT I'D LIKE TO CATCH A FEW ZZZS. 325 00:19:43,115 --> 00:19:48,020 DO YOU MIND? GO PLAY SOMEPLACE ELSE, O. K.? 326 00:19:48,055 --> 00:19:49,521 CHARMING. 327 00:19:52,357 --> 00:19:54,860 SEE? NICE AND QUIET, CALM, SERENE. 328 00:19:54,895 --> 00:19:56,361 IT'S BEAUTIFUL. 329 00:19:56,862 --> 00:19:58,964 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 330 00:19:58,999 --> 00:19:59,965 HA HA HA! 331 00:20:00,465 --> 00:20:00,465 HA HA HA! 332 00:20:05,103 --> 00:20:07,606 LIFE'S A BITCH, AIN'T IT, WONG? 333 00:20:11,476 --> 00:20:14,346 APRIL LOVE IS FOR THE VERY YOUNG 334 00:20:14,381 --> 00:20:17,300 ARE YOU THINKING WHAT I'M THINKING? 335 00:20:17,335 --> 00:20:20,219 THAT WE CAN PUT THE PAST BEHIND US? 336 00:20:20,254 --> 00:20:21,720 WE DESERVE TO BE HAPPY. 337 00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:25,557 DADDY WOULD HAVE WANTED IT THIS WAY. 338 00:20:25,592 --> 00:20:27,524 I WISH BOTH OUR HUSBANDS 339 00:20:27,559 --> 00:20:30,762 COULD BE WITH US AT THE SAME TIME. 340 00:20:30,797 --> 00:20:34,800 WE COULD ALWAYS SHARE. 341 00:20:50,716 --> 00:20:54,286 DARLING, WHY CAN'T I COME WITH YOU TO SOUTH AFRICA? 342 00:20:54,321 --> 00:20:57,856 I TOLD YOU IT'S HOT, IT'S STICKY, YOU'D HATE IT. 343 00:21:00,359 --> 00:21:02,826 WHEN'S YOUR BROTHER COMING BACK ANYWAYS? 344 00:21:02,861 --> 00:21:06,114 JUNE MISSES HIM SO MUCH, SHE'S BESIDE HERSELF. 345 00:21:06,149 --> 00:21:09,368 TOMORROW NIGHT. WHY IS THIS DRAWER ALWAYS LOCKED? 346 00:21:09,403 --> 00:21:11,370 WHAT THE HELL'S IN IT, ANYWAY? 347 00:21:11,405 --> 00:21:13,372 WHERE'S MY SHIRT? 348 00:21:14,873 --> 00:21:16,875 OH. THANK YOU. 349 00:21:18,377 --> 00:21:20,212 HONEY. 350 00:21:20,612 --> 00:21:21,680 WHAT? 351 00:21:22,114 --> 00:21:23,647 YOUR BACK. 352 00:21:23,682 --> 00:21:26,685 OH, YEAH, YEAH. I GOT A LITTLE SUNBURN. 353 00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:29,638 SUN'S A LOT HOTTER IN SOUTH AFRICA. 354 00:21:29,673 --> 00:21:32,522 I'LL TELL YOU, THE MAN IS AN ANIMAL. 355 00:21:32,557 --> 00:21:36,428 LAST NIGHT, HE TIED ME TO THE BED WHEN WE... 356 00:21:36,463 --> 00:21:37,394 YOU KNOW. 357 00:21:37,429 --> 00:21:40,432 AND IT WASN'T THE FIRST TIME EITHER. 358 00:21:40,467 --> 00:21:41,898 YOU'RE KIDDING. 359 00:21:41,933 --> 00:21:44,436 VIC DOES THAT TO ME, TOO. 360 00:21:44,471 --> 00:21:45,904 NO! 361 00:21:47,406 --> 00:21:50,342 THEY'RE ALIKE IN ALL SORTS OF WAYS. 362 00:21:50,377 --> 00:21:53,278 WHEN JACK TOOK OFF HIS SHIRT FOR BED, 363 00:21:53,313 --> 00:21:55,212 HIS BACK WAS ALL TANNED 364 00:21:55,247 --> 00:21:59,084 EXCEPT FOR THIS LITTLE PALE STRIP. 365 00:21:59,119 --> 00:22:00,384 YOU'RE KIDDING. 366 00:22:00,419 --> 00:22:03,155 JUST BEFORE VIC LEFT FOR SOUTH AFRICA, 367 00:22:03,622 --> 00:22:05,157 HE SUNBURNED HIS BACK. 368 00:22:05,192 --> 00:22:06,658 HE HAD THE SAME... 369 00:22:06,958 --> 00:22:06,958 HE HAD THE SAME... 370 00:22:08,026 --> 00:22:09,828 THING. 371 00:22:55,273 --> 00:22:57,607 I'M TOO SEXY FOR MY HAIR 372 00:22:57,642 --> 00:22:59,644 TOO SEXY FOR THIS EARRING 373 00:22:59,679 --> 00:23:00,577 TOO SEXY 374 00:23:00,612 --> 00:23:03,615 I'M TOO SEXY FOR THIS HOUSE 375 00:23:03,650 --> 00:23:04,884 TOO SEXY- 376 00:23:04,919 --> 00:23:06,083 HEY, HONEY! 377 00:23:06,118 --> 00:23:09,721 YOU TWO BITCHING BABES BETTER BE GETTING DRESSED! 378 00:23:09,756 --> 00:23:13,325 I'M TAKING YOU OUT FOR THE MOST AWESOME FEAST EVER! 379 00:23:13,825 --> 00:23:13,825 I'M TAKING YOU OUT FOR THE MOST AWESOME FEAST EVER! 380 00:23:44,790 --> 00:23:46,358 GET THE FUCK OUT. 381 00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:49,728 "TWINS ACQUITTED OF FATHER'S DEATH 382 00:23:49,763 --> 00:23:51,263 BY JUVENILE COURT." 383 00:23:51,763 --> 00:23:54,499 YOU GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING! 384 00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:55,000 YOU GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING! 385 00:24:05,043 --> 00:24:06,009 HEY. 386 00:24:06,044 --> 00:24:07,546 WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? 387 00:24:07,581 --> 00:24:08,512 WHAT'S GOING ON? 388 00:24:08,547 --> 00:24:10,315 HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 389 00:24:10,350 --> 00:24:12,451 WHAT THE FUCK YOU DOING? 390 00:24:12,486 --> 00:24:14,553 LET ME GO. LET ME GO. 391 00:24:16,488 --> 00:24:18,390 HELLO, DARLING. HELLO, DARLING. 392 00:24:18,425 --> 00:24:20,743 O. K., SO I LOVED YOU BOTH. 393 00:24:20,778 --> 00:24:22,820 WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO? 394 00:24:22,855 --> 00:24:24,826 DIDN'T I MAKE YOU HAPPY? 395 00:24:24,861 --> 00:24:26,763 DIDN'T I MAKE YOU HAPPY? 396 00:24:26,798 --> 00:24:29,234 I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FATHER. 397 00:24:29,269 --> 00:24:31,835 I'M NOT SAYING YOU DID ANYTHING. 398 00:24:31,870 --> 00:24:34,139 EVEN IF YOU DID, WHAT THE FUCK IS THE DIFFERENCE? 399 00:24:34,174 --> 00:24:35,705 WHAT DO I CARE? 400 00:24:35,740 --> 00:24:39,077 GIRLS, YOU WERE FRIVOLOUS LITTLE KIDS. 401 00:24:39,112 --> 00:24:42,247 WHO GIVES A SHIT WHAT YOU DID? 402 00:24:42,781 --> 00:24:43,882 WE DID DO IT. 403 00:24:44,449 --> 00:24:45,984 WE SHARED EVERYTHING. 404 00:24:46,551 --> 00:24:49,054 WE DIDN'T WANT TO SHARE HIM ANYMORE. 405 00:24:49,554 --> 00:24:50,856 IT WAS TOO HARD. 406 00:24:51,423 --> 00:24:52,491 WE WERE TOO SELFISH. 407 00:24:53,058 --> 00:24:55,525 LIKE NOW. 408 00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:57,562 WHERE ARE YOU GOING? 409 00:24:58,129 --> 00:24:59,130 WHERE'S SHE GOING? 410 00:24:59,631 --> 00:25:02,334 WHERE'S SHE GOING? HEY! HEY! 411 00:25:02,601 --> 00:25:03,500 WHAT'S SHE DOING? 412 00:25:03,535 --> 00:25:05,303 I'M GOING TO LET HER DO THE HONORS. 413 00:25:05,604 --> 00:25:06,636 WHAT HONORS? 414 00:25:06,671 --> 00:25:08,974 SHE WAS ALWAYS THE MORE OUTGOING ONE, 415 00:25:09,009 --> 00:25:10,976 RIGHT, JACK? 416 00:25:18,884 --> 00:25:22,621 HEY! 417 00:25:23,121 --> 00:25:24,888 SCREWBALLS! 418 00:25:24,923 --> 00:25:26,189 I DIDN'T MEAN THAT. 419 00:25:26,224 --> 00:25:28,626 I DIDN'T MEAN THAT. COME ON. 420 00:25:28,661 --> 00:25:31,029 GET OUT OF HERE WITH THAT! 421 00:25:31,296 --> 00:25:32,731 ARE YOU CRAZY? 422 00:25:33,164 --> 00:25:33,164 ARE YOU CRAZY? 423 00:25:43,708 --> 00:25:45,610 AH, THE BUZZARD TOOK A MONKEY 424 00:25:45,645 --> 00:25:47,043 FOR A RIDE IN THE AIR 425 00:25:47,078 --> 00:25:49,114 IT'S ALL RIGHT NOW, HONEY. 426 00:25:49,149 --> 00:25:50,580 IT'S ALL RIGHT. 427 00:25:50,615 --> 00:25:52,117 THE BUZZARD TRIED TO THROW THE MONKEY 428 00:25:52,617 --> 00:25:53,583 OFF HIS BACK 429 00:25:53,618 --> 00:25:57,122 THE MONKEY GRABBED HIS NECK AND SAID, "NOW, LISTEN, JACK" 430 00:25:57,157 --> 00:26:00,091 "STRAIGHTEN UP AND FLY RIGHT" 431 00:26:00,625 --> 00:26:03,628 EVERYTHING'S GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT FROM NOW ON. 432 00:26:03,663 --> 00:26:05,562 "STRAIGHTEN UP AND FLY RIGHT" 433 00:26:05,597 --> 00:26:09,599 "OH, COOL DOWN, PAPA, DON'T YOU BLOW YOUR TOP" 434 00:26:09,634 --> 00:26:09,634 "OH, COOL DOWN, PAPA, DON'T YOU BLOW YOUR TOP" 435 00:26:28,820 --> 00:26:34,859 I GUESS, VINO VIC, THOUGHT HE COULD DOUBLE HIS FUN AND HIS BANK ACCOUNT. 436 00:26:34,894 --> 00:26:36,861 TO BAD HE WAS ONLY HALF RIGHT. 437 00:26:37,362 --> 00:26:40,865 OH WELL, IT JUST PROVES THE OLD SAYING. 438 00:26:41,366 --> 00:26:43,368 BEHIND EVERY BAD MAN 439 00:26:43,868 --> 00:26:45,620 THERE'S TWO WOMAN 440 00:26:45,655 --> 00:26:47,372 WITH A CHAIN SAW! 441 00:26:47,872 --> 00:26:49,874 HA HA HA HA HA! 442 00:26:51,876 --> 00:26:56,381 SO, KIDDIES, CARE FOR A LITTLEMAIMOF CHANCE? 443 00:26:56,416 --> 00:27:00,385 DEADS, I WIN, TAILS, YOUOOZE! 444 00:27:00,420 --> 00:27:02,887 AH HA HA HA!