1 00:01:26,671 --> 00:01:29,037 Good evening, culture vultures... 2 00:01:29,107 --> 00:01:34,044 and welcome to another installment of Mash-to-Pieces Theater. 3 00:01:37,482 --> 00:01:39,712 Tonight we ask the question: 4 00:01:40,218 --> 00:01:43,381 "To be, or not to be" 5 00:01:43,588 --> 00:01:47,615 Or in this case, an actor stuck with an average face... 6 00:01:47,692 --> 00:01:50,388 who's so sick and tired of auditioning... 7 00:01:50,461 --> 00:01:53,487 he's willing to do almost anything. 8 00:01:54,465 --> 00:01:56,831 Did I say "almost"? 9 00:02:00,104 --> 00:02:05,064 I call this sickening saga Top Billing. 10 00:02:11,015 --> 00:02:14,109 Does he still have a drug problem? Just tell me, Celia, does he? 11 00:02:14,185 --> 00:02:17,916 I was told he's finished with rehab, and now I hear that he's not. 12 00:02:18,356 --> 00:02:21,655 Get back to me when you know what's going on with him, okay? 13 00:02:21,826 --> 00:02:22,918 What? 14 00:02:23,194 --> 00:02:25,458 Yeah, sure I dated him but it was years ago... 15 00:02:25,530 --> 00:02:28,863 a whole fucking lifetime before all this drug stuff. 16 00:02:29,567 --> 00:02:30,829 Yeah, he was okay in bed. 17 00:02:30,902 --> 00:02:33,735 I mean, he wasn't great, but then again, who is? 18 00:02:33,805 --> 00:02:37,468 All right, I've got to run, honey. So you'll get back to me? 19 00:02:37,976 --> 00:02:39,102 All right. 20 00:02:39,444 --> 00:02:42,208 I tell you, such schmucks. Such schmucks! 21 00:02:51,456 --> 00:02:54,118 Jenny, did Leon ever call? 22 00:02:55,193 --> 00:02:56,490 Jenny? 23 00:03:01,933 --> 00:03:05,733 Leon, what are you doing? Where's Jenny? 24 00:03:06,704 --> 00:03:11,107 Jenny's dead. And you're next, bitch! 25 00:03:12,710 --> 00:03:15,270 No, don't, Leon. Don't! 26 00:03:15,346 --> 00:03:18,042 The silent scream is the loudest. 27 00:03:20,652 --> 00:03:23,712 That's great. Thanks for coming in. 28 00:03:26,591 --> 00:03:27,888 That's it? 29 00:03:28,159 --> 00:03:31,151 Yeah, you're terrific, but you're not quite what I'm looking for. 30 00:03:31,229 --> 00:03:34,164 Well, what do you need? I'm an actor. 31 00:03:34,599 --> 00:03:37,534 - I need someone heavier. - I can wear padding. 32 00:03:38,336 --> 00:03:41,328 I don't mean heavier. I mean bigger. 33 00:03:44,008 --> 00:03:46,238 You don't understand. I need this job. 34 00:03:46,311 --> 00:03:49,712 I know you do, but you're wrong for the part. 35 00:03:49,948 --> 00:03:51,609 I need a killer. 36 00:03:51,683 --> 00:03:55,175 Okay, how's this? I don't have any money, I haven't eaten in a week... 37 00:03:55,253 --> 00:03:56,914 and I need this fucking job! 38 00:03:56,988 --> 00:03:58,387 Great, it's great. 39 00:03:58,456 --> 00:04:01,653 But I need someone physically larger with a tan! 40 00:04:05,363 --> 00:04:07,957 Jenny's dead. And you're next, bitch! 41 00:04:17,842 --> 00:04:18,968 Fuck! 42 00:04:41,432 --> 00:04:42,694 Barry? 43 00:04:44,168 --> 00:04:45,533 Barry Blye. 44 00:04:46,004 --> 00:04:49,531 - Yeah, hi, Winton, how you doing? - I'm fine. How the hell are you? 45 00:04:49,807 --> 00:04:51,069 How's Lisa? 46 00:04:51,175 --> 00:04:53,268 She's still the best thing that ever happened to me. 47 00:04:53,344 --> 00:04:57,747 - Remember that rat-hole we all lived in? - Yeah, I sure do. We still live there. 48 00:04:57,815 --> 00:05:00,909 Well, it's nice chatting with you. I'll see you later. I gotta go. 49 00:05:00,985 --> 00:05:02,612 Come on, Barry. 50 00:05:02,687 --> 00:05:05,451 You can't still be angry with me because I work for a living. 51 00:05:05,523 --> 00:05:07,923 Sure I can. Let me ask you something, Winton. 52 00:05:07,992 --> 00:05:11,257 On your resume, does it still say "actor"? 53 00:05:13,931 --> 00:05:17,628 God, you crack me up, you know that? Haven't you got it yet? 54 00:05:17,735 --> 00:05:19,760 This business doesn't have anything to do with acting. 55 00:05:19,837 --> 00:05:21,202 Just get away from me, all right? 56 00:05:21,272 --> 00:05:23,672 When are you gonna learn an actor is one who acts... 57 00:05:23,741 --> 00:05:25,868 - not one who collects unemployment? - Just get away. 58 00:05:25,943 --> 00:05:29,572 If you spent a little less money on classes and more on some decent clothes... 59 00:05:29,647 --> 00:05:33,515 and maybe, maybe, some blue contact lenses... 60 00:05:33,918 --> 00:05:35,681 you might work for a change. 61 00:05:35,753 --> 00:05:38,119 Yeah? Well, I've seen your work, Winton. 62 00:05:38,189 --> 00:05:40,749 Let me tell you, I really loved that commercial you did... 63 00:05:40,825 --> 00:05:44,659 you know, that little tango you did on top of a disposable douche. 64 00:05:46,898 --> 00:05:49,025 Sure. I do commercials. 65 00:05:49,634 --> 00:05:52,728 I got $50,000 last year for one spot alone. 66 00:05:53,838 --> 00:05:57,365 I don't "do," okay? I act. 67 00:05:58,810 --> 00:06:01,404 This is Hamlet. It's about acting. 68 00:06:02,914 --> 00:06:05,041 "Avenue D, at Canal"? 69 00:06:06,284 --> 00:06:08,184 What the hell kind of theater would be down there? 70 00:06:08,252 --> 00:06:09,810 All right, I gotta go. 71 00:06:10,788 --> 00:06:12,756 Barry, you're 35 years old. 72 00:06:12,924 --> 00:06:16,917 How much longer are you gonna do free theater that no one wants to see? 73 00:06:17,728 --> 00:06:20,595 Hamlet doesn't need an audience. It's a classic. 74 00:06:21,365 --> 00:06:24,994 Maybe so, but Lisa deserves better, Barry. 75 00:06:28,673 --> 00:06:31,107 Barry! 76 00:06:32,343 --> 00:06:34,402 Mel can do Shakespeare. 77 00:06:35,213 --> 00:06:37,443 But Mel has the look. 78 00:06:40,451 --> 00:06:41,577 Incredible. 79 00:06:41,986 --> 00:06:45,012 Jesus Christ. I am a hell of an actor! 80 00:06:45,356 --> 00:06:49,156 I'm a lot more talented than a lot of those assholes out there making it. 81 00:06:49,227 --> 00:06:50,922 Guys like Winton Robbins. 82 00:06:51,262 --> 00:06:54,754 No, Winton Robbins has a face. 83 00:06:55,433 --> 00:06:59,062 - He has the look! - And I have talent! 84 00:06:59,637 --> 00:07:03,767 Well, yes, talent's nice, too. But you haven't got the look. 85 00:07:04,142 --> 00:07:07,873 You could have the look. I introduced you to that plastic surgeon. 86 00:07:07,945 --> 00:07:10,345 I'm not a prostitute. I'm not gonna alter my face. 87 00:07:10,414 --> 00:07:13,008 Look, you're an agent. You just do your job. 88 00:07:13,084 --> 00:07:15,746 You just call these people up and you get me this part, all right? 89 00:07:15,820 --> 00:07:19,881 Look, Barry, I've been in the business a long time. 90 00:07:20,291 --> 00:07:23,317 I've seen them come, and I've seen them go. 91 00:07:24,061 --> 00:07:27,758 And, Barry, I think it's time for you to go. 92 00:07:28,499 --> 00:07:32,697 So, you're just letting me go, just like that. 93 00:07:32,904 --> 00:07:36,067 Well, hey, dreams are great. 94 00:07:37,775 --> 00:07:39,743 But I've got expenses. 95 00:07:41,312 --> 00:07:44,406 So I think it's time you find some representation... 96 00:07:44,482 --> 00:07:46,848 more suitable to your needs. 97 00:07:48,352 --> 00:07:49,478 Fine. 98 00:07:50,688 --> 00:07:54,852 I'll get the part myself, and I'll be brilliant. 99 00:07:56,327 --> 00:07:57,555 You know what? 100 00:07:57,628 --> 00:08:01,689 I'm gonna take my rave reviews and my $250 a week... 101 00:08:01,799 --> 00:08:05,132 and shove them down your fucking throat! 102 00:08:26,324 --> 00:08:29,350 Use the goddamn freight elevator, asshole. 103 00:08:29,427 --> 00:08:31,190 I just climbed five flights. 104 00:08:32,296 --> 00:08:33,763 I'm talking to you! 105 00:08:34,532 --> 00:08:36,159 That's my stereo. 106 00:08:37,602 --> 00:08:40,571 That's my apartment. What the hell do you think you're doing? 107 00:08:40,638 --> 00:08:43,505 - Barry! - Lisa, what's going on here? 108 00:08:44,208 --> 00:08:47,143 I'm just taking what's mine... 109 00:08:48,479 --> 00:08:50,947 and enough of your stuff to make up for what you owe me. 110 00:08:51,015 --> 00:08:53,381 - What are you talking about? - I... 111 00:08:54,752 --> 00:08:56,049 You're a loser. 112 00:08:56,754 --> 00:08:59,086 I promised Mr. Kroger a few things... 113 00:08:59,156 --> 00:09:02,717 and he agreed not to have you thrown in jail for vagrancy. 114 00:09:05,830 --> 00:09:09,527 It's over, Barry. I'm moving in with Bruno. 115 00:09:10,935 --> 00:09:13,802 - Bruno? - We met in class. 116 00:09:15,172 --> 00:09:18,505 Barry, Bruno. Bruno, Barry. 117 00:09:19,477 --> 00:09:21,809 Lisa, I love you. 118 00:09:25,583 --> 00:09:29,019 Yeah. Look, we've gotta go. 119 00:09:31,889 --> 00:09:34,380 I left some chicken in the fridge for you. 120 00:09:35,793 --> 00:09:37,158 Chicken? 121 00:09:40,965 --> 00:09:42,899 We could still be friends. 122 00:09:49,774 --> 00:09:51,207 Excuse me. 123 00:09:58,349 --> 00:09:59,782 You're a loser. 124 00:10:05,456 --> 00:10:06,718 Spare change? 125 00:10:24,675 --> 00:10:26,370 You gotta be kidding. 126 00:10:50,801 --> 00:10:52,996 Excuse me, is this the theater... 127 00:10:54,538 --> 00:10:57,701 - What the hell are you doing here? - I'm here to audition. 128 00:10:57,842 --> 00:11:00,811 What are you doing here? This audition is for Hamlet. 129 00:11:01,112 --> 00:11:03,273 I came down to make a point to you. 130 00:11:03,347 --> 00:11:05,372 I bet you stayed up all night reading the play. 131 00:11:05,449 --> 00:11:06,746 You're damn right, I did. 132 00:11:06,817 --> 00:11:09,911 You don't walk into a Hamlet audition cold, you idiot. 133 00:11:10,121 --> 00:11:11,679 It's poetry, for Christ's sake. 134 00:11:11,756 --> 00:11:15,021 The part requires an actor, Winton, not a face. 135 00:11:15,359 --> 00:11:20,058 Fine. And had this been a theater, I bet you I would've gotten the part. 136 00:11:21,432 --> 00:11:23,229 I'll see you around, Barry. 137 00:11:30,007 --> 00:11:34,444 - Is this Hamlet? - No, it's Shangri-la. 138 00:11:34,779 --> 00:11:37,976 Don't you recognize it? And I'm the Dalai Lama. 139 00:11:38,616 --> 00:11:41,084 Let me guess, you're here to audition? 140 00:11:41,352 --> 00:11:42,614 Yes. 141 00:11:44,455 --> 00:11:45,649 Yes, I am. 142 00:11:46,957 --> 00:11:50,654 Well, don't just stand around. Actors! 143 00:11:59,970 --> 00:12:01,335 Ouch. 144 00:12:03,841 --> 00:12:07,538 "Alas! poor Yorick. 145 00:12:08,412 --> 00:12:13,349 "I knew him, Horatio, a fellow of infinite jest... 146 00:12:14,151 --> 00:12:17,518 "excellent and fancy: he hath-" 147 00:12:17,588 --> 00:12:20,284 No! 148 00:12:20,357 --> 00:12:23,451 It's wrong, it's all wrong! 149 00:12:27,131 --> 00:12:30,828 Hamlet is holding in his hands the skull of Yorick. 150 00:12:31,168 --> 00:12:35,366 He sees what 20 years of rotting in the ground... 151 00:12:35,439 --> 00:12:37,236 have done to his friend. 152 00:12:37,308 --> 00:12:40,402 That is why he is so upset. 153 00:12:40,945 --> 00:12:45,279 - Who? Yorick? - No, you dunce! Hamlet. 154 00:12:46,183 --> 00:12:50,142 Hamlet. You pick up the skull... 155 00:12:51,155 --> 00:12:55,023 you look at it, you talk to it. 156 00:12:56,293 --> 00:12:57,624 You even kiss it. 157 00:12:59,830 --> 00:13:03,527 Here, kiss it. Kiss it. 158 00:13:03,601 --> 00:13:07,332 - But it's plastic. - You won't kiss plastic, will you? 159 00:13:07,671 --> 00:13:12,074 Get off of my stage! Do you hear me? 160 00:13:14,645 --> 00:13:16,044 Plastic. 161 00:13:17,214 --> 00:13:20,547 Beaks! They've lost another one. 162 00:13:21,218 --> 00:13:24,119 Where? Where are my props? 163 00:13:24,722 --> 00:13:26,587 Yes, your bloatedness. 164 00:13:28,058 --> 00:13:30,583 Searching. 165 00:13:39,236 --> 00:13:43,502 What are you doing? You're an actor. I command you to act! 166 00:13:45,276 --> 00:13:47,176 I don't have any lines. 167 00:13:47,978 --> 00:13:52,915 That's no excuse. Living is acting. Being is acting. 168 00:13:53,617 --> 00:13:56,381 This is the gravedigger scene. You're a gravedigger. 169 00:13:56,453 --> 00:14:00,822 Dig, or I'll ram this shovel down your putrid little throat! 170 00:14:01,559 --> 00:14:02,719 Dig! 171 00:14:04,795 --> 00:14:08,162 Jesus. That is one tough director. 172 00:14:08,866 --> 00:14:12,097 He's demanding. I respect that. 173 00:14:14,605 --> 00:14:19,099 Excuse me. I'm here to audition for the role of Hamlet. 174 00:14:19,877 --> 00:14:21,242 What? 175 00:14:25,049 --> 00:14:27,074 Who broke my concentration? 176 00:14:28,519 --> 00:14:30,749 Everyone... 177 00:14:30,821 --> 00:14:34,018 out of my sight! 178 00:14:36,627 --> 00:14:40,256 You two, come to my office. 179 00:14:54,712 --> 00:14:56,236 Do you know who I am? 180 00:14:57,514 --> 00:15:02,144 I am Nelson Halliwell, director of stage and screen. 181 00:15:06,490 --> 00:15:08,890 And it's a pleasure to meet you, sir. 182 00:15:08,959 --> 00:15:11,985 I'm Barry Blye. I'm here to audition for Hamlet. 183 00:15:12,062 --> 00:15:15,930 And well, as you can see, I'm highly, highly qualified for the part. 184 00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:19,731 I have extensive qualifications, I've done the part in several workshops... 185 00:15:19,803 --> 00:15:22,363 and I know the entire role by heart. 186 00:15:22,439 --> 00:15:23,667 Do you? 187 00:15:24,742 --> 00:15:27,074 And do you know that we are planning... 188 00:15:27,678 --> 00:15:30,875 the most stirring production of Hamlet ever? 189 00:15:33,017 --> 00:15:35,417 I want to bring to the stage a Hamlet... 190 00:15:36,220 --> 00:15:41,157 that will look, and feel, and be so real... 191 00:15:41,859 --> 00:15:44,794 that the people will stumble from their seats... 192 00:15:44,862 --> 00:15:48,821 tumble from the theater, their minds reeling... 193 00:15:49,099 --> 00:15:52,591 and retch their guts upon the curb! 194 00:15:54,605 --> 00:15:55,833 Yuck. 195 00:15:56,173 --> 00:15:59,609 It's all yours, Barry. Break a leg. Break both. 196 00:15:59,677 --> 00:16:01,269 - You! - Yes? 197 00:16:01,912 --> 00:16:05,643 High cheekbones, fair skin, slightly frosted hair. 198 00:16:05,716 --> 00:16:08,082 - You must be Danish. - Actually, I'm Polish. 199 00:16:08,185 --> 00:16:10,949 Perfect, I knew it! The part is yours. 200 00:16:11,021 --> 00:16:12,352 - What? - What? 201 00:16:12,623 --> 00:16:15,285 I said, young man, the part is yours! 202 00:16:15,359 --> 00:16:18,351 - I thought you were leaving. - Not anymore. I'm Hamlet! 203 00:16:18,429 --> 00:16:22,024 But you didn't even read him. You don't even know if he can read. 204 00:16:22,466 --> 00:16:24,127 Halliwell has chosen! 205 00:16:25,269 --> 00:16:28,466 Young man, there's a dressing room for you down the hall. 206 00:16:28,539 --> 00:16:32,031 But this is Hamlet. How can you cast this asshole? 207 00:16:33,310 --> 00:16:36,040 He has the look. 208 00:16:43,187 --> 00:16:45,155 What did I tell you, Barry? 209 00:16:45,222 --> 00:16:46,917 You don't know anything about this play. 210 00:16:46,990 --> 00:16:49,618 I know one thing, I've got the part. 211 00:16:51,795 --> 00:16:55,731 Son of a bitch! 212 00:16:56,366 --> 00:16:59,927 Everyone, center stage, everyone. Quickly. 213 00:17:00,170 --> 00:17:03,401 Gather around, gather together, meet our new actor. 214 00:17:03,474 --> 00:17:06,602 Beaks, see that he's outfitted properly... 215 00:17:07,044 --> 00:17:11,003 shown his dressing room, and welcomed to the group. 216 00:17:11,281 --> 00:17:14,182 Quickly, everyone! No time to waste. 217 00:17:16,086 --> 00:17:17,348 Only five minutes, everybody. 218 00:17:17,421 --> 00:17:21,790 That's it, leave. I must be alone now. Quickly, out. 219 00:17:43,213 --> 00:17:47,274 "From this time forth, My thoughts be bloody... 220 00:17:48,719 --> 00:17:50,687 "or be nothing worth! " 221 00:18:17,414 --> 00:18:19,974 "Thus conscience does make cowards of us all" 222 00:18:22,686 --> 00:18:24,779 Came to congratulate me, did you? 223 00:18:26,190 --> 00:18:29,023 Well, I hope you learned something today, Barry. 224 00:18:30,627 --> 00:18:34,654 You're overdue, you know. I mean, this isn't about art. 225 00:18:35,699 --> 00:18:39,760 It's about commerce. It's about people standing in line and buying tickets. 226 00:18:40,137 --> 00:18:41,604 It's about product. 227 00:18:44,141 --> 00:18:47,542 If you invested half as much energy into the business side of things... 228 00:18:47,611 --> 00:18:52,275 as you do in maintaining that stupid struggling-artiste crap... 229 00:18:55,686 --> 00:18:57,119 What the hell? 230 00:19:00,390 --> 00:19:02,824 Are you out of your fucking mind? 231 00:19:02,993 --> 00:19:06,656 "How now! a rat? Dead, for a ducat! " 232 00:19:07,231 --> 00:19:10,291 That's Hamlet. Act 3, Scene 4. 233 00:19:17,140 --> 00:19:20,473 Hamlet. I'm not Hamlet. 234 00:19:30,254 --> 00:19:32,017 You can say that again. 235 00:20:49,900 --> 00:20:52,528 That's how I'd like it done! Props. 236 00:20:52,903 --> 00:20:55,371 Where's the prop for the gravedigger scene? 237 00:20:55,439 --> 00:20:58,772 I'm working on it. They don't grow on trees. 238 00:21:00,844 --> 00:21:03,005 - Mr. Halliwell. - Yes, what do you want? 239 00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:05,776 Don't you see you're interrupting rehearsal? 240 00:21:05,949 --> 00:21:09,407 Where's your friend? He should be on this stage this instant. 241 00:21:09,619 --> 00:21:11,746 I'm afraid he left, Mr. Halliwell. 242 00:21:11,955 --> 00:21:14,788 Left a Halliwell production? 243 00:21:15,192 --> 00:21:17,820 The worst case of stage fright I've ever seen. 244 00:21:19,463 --> 00:21:21,090 He was totally blue. 245 00:21:23,100 --> 00:21:26,592 What are we going to do? 246 00:21:26,770 --> 00:21:30,206 Well, I'd like to suggest myself for the part, sir. 247 00:21:30,974 --> 00:21:35,001 No, you're all wrong! You don't have the look! 248 00:21:35,078 --> 00:21:37,740 I'm an actor, Mr. Halliwell. I can give you what you want. 249 00:21:37,814 --> 00:21:40,647 No. 250 00:21:40,717 --> 00:21:44,050 Yes, if I change my interpretation slightly. 251 00:21:44,121 --> 00:21:47,750 Well, then, the part is yours. Beaks! 252 00:21:47,824 --> 00:21:49,621 You mean it? I'm cast? 253 00:21:49,693 --> 00:21:53,288 Yes. Show our new member to his dressing room, Beaks. 254 00:21:53,497 --> 00:21:55,692 You won't regret it, Mr. Halliwell. 255 00:21:55,966 --> 00:21:57,331 We open. 256 00:21:58,168 --> 00:21:59,635 "Speak the speech, I pray you... 257 00:22:00,070 --> 00:22:01,230 "as I pronounced it to you... 258 00:22:01,638 --> 00:22:03,367 "trippingly on the tongue 259 00:22:05,008 --> 00:22:09,445 "but if you mouth it, as many of your players are wont to... 260 00:22:09,513 --> 00:22:12,846 "I had as lief the towncrier spoke my lines. " 261 00:22:17,421 --> 00:22:19,787 - Ready for the final run-through? - What? 262 00:22:20,290 --> 00:22:22,690 Final run-through? I haven't had a rehearsal yet. 263 00:22:23,827 --> 00:22:25,818 You won't need much rehearsing. 264 00:22:26,263 --> 00:22:29,994 Hamlet is a complicated role. I can't do it without rehearsal. 265 00:22:30,634 --> 00:22:34,434 Who said you were playing Hamlet? I'm playing Hamlet. 266 00:22:34,738 --> 00:22:37,901 Didn't you see me out there before, holding up a plastic skull? 267 00:22:38,008 --> 00:22:40,909 "Alas! poor Yorick. 268 00:22:40,977 --> 00:22:42,968 "I knew him, Horatio. " 269 00:22:43,046 --> 00:22:45,742 Beaks, did you tag the costumes as I instructed? 270 00:22:46,149 --> 00:22:48,481 Yes, your vastness. 271 00:22:48,652 --> 00:22:50,813 Wait. I spy... 272 00:22:52,489 --> 00:22:55,617 Well, if I'm not playing Hamlet, what role am I playing? 273 00:23:02,699 --> 00:23:05,793 Yorick's been dead 23 years before the play starts. 274 00:23:06,036 --> 00:23:08,561 We've had a hell of a time casting the part. 275 00:23:08,905 --> 00:23:11,533 Someone keeps stealing the skull. 276 00:23:15,078 --> 00:23:17,945 That's crazy. Beaks, help me. 277 00:23:18,548 --> 00:23:22,075 Certainly, sir. Just slip into this hood. 278 00:23:30,427 --> 00:23:31,826 You're all mad. 279 00:23:32,929 --> 00:23:34,123 Mad? 280 00:23:35,699 --> 00:23:37,462 You're fucking nuts. 281 00:23:44,808 --> 00:23:46,332 Come, come, Mr. Blye. 282 00:23:48,078 --> 00:23:49,511 Help! 283 00:23:53,383 --> 00:23:54,680 Shit. 284 00:24:08,031 --> 00:24:09,157 Help! 285 00:24:45,335 --> 00:24:47,530 Hello? 286 00:24:47,704 --> 00:24:50,468 Thank goodness. We've been trying to call you for hours. 287 00:24:50,540 --> 00:24:53,304 Dr. Morrison, are you there? Hello? 288 00:24:53,376 --> 00:24:55,037 I know how you feel. 289 00:24:55,879 --> 00:24:57,938 I really wanted someone with high cheekbones. 290 00:24:58,014 --> 00:25:01,177 What are those voices? Dr. Morrison, are you all right? 291 00:25:01,251 --> 00:25:03,879 - Your friend looked much more the part. - Hey, Dr. Morrison... 292 00:25:03,954 --> 00:25:05,080 what's going on? 293 00:25:05,155 --> 00:25:07,214 - But don't worry. - What is going on over there? 294 00:25:07,290 --> 00:25:09,121 It's showtime! 295 00:25:12,829 --> 00:25:14,228 "Let me see. 296 00:25:15,498 --> 00:25:17,864 "Alas! poor Yorick. 297 00:25:19,536 --> 00:25:23,802 "I knew him, Horatio, a friend of infinite jest... 298 00:25:24,107 --> 00:25:26,098 "of most excellent fancy:" 299 00:25:26,243 --> 00:25:28,734 I think I was wrong about the young man. 300 00:25:29,446 --> 00:25:31,641 He does have the look after all. 301 00:25:34,517 --> 00:25:36,314 "My gorge rises at it" 302 00:25:49,899 --> 00:25:52,993 Brady, this is Concord, what is your status? I repeat, what is your status? 303 00:25:53,069 --> 00:25:55,902 We haven't heard any more screams, but that doesn't mean there aren't hostages. 304 00:25:55,972 --> 00:25:57,701 I want you all to be extremely careful in there. 305 00:25:57,774 --> 00:26:00,299 - We go in 30 seconds. - All right. 306 00:26:01,077 --> 00:26:03,841 Give me the big bar. Big bar. Okay. 307 00:26:05,615 --> 00:26:07,014 One more! 308 00:26:07,951 --> 00:26:09,213 All right. Go! 309 00:26:09,486 --> 00:26:11,249 - Move! - Go! 310 00:26:36,913 --> 00:26:39,780 Bravo. Encore. 311 00:26:40,850 --> 00:26:45,082 Well, Barry axed for the part and he got it. 312 00:26:45,555 --> 00:26:49,651 But typical Barry, they still couldn't use his face. 313 00:26:50,327 --> 00:26:55,026 It's just as well. The critics would have cut him to pieces. 314 00:26:57,801 --> 00:26:59,428 I'm calling my agent. 315 00:26:59,769 --> 00:27:02,636 I've waited all my death to play the part of Yorick. 316 00:27:03,073 --> 00:27:05,769 So until next time, kiddies. 317 00:27:06,076 --> 00:27:09,477 Hello? I'd like to speak with my agent. 318 00:27:10,547 --> 00:27:13,015 What do you mean he's in a beating?