1 00:01:26,738 --> 00:01:29,138 Dying for a date? 2 00:01:29,207 --> 00:01:31,903 Aching for a little prick of... 3 00:01:33,344 --> 00:01:35,175 passion? 4 00:01:35,246 --> 00:01:37,806 Well, be careful what you wish for... 5 00:01:37,882 --> 00:01:40,874 or like the young man in tonight's terror tale... 6 00:01:40,952 --> 00:01:43,318 you may just get it! 7 00:01:43,888 --> 00:01:47,289 I call this nauseating number... 8 00:01:47,358 --> 00:01:50,486 Loved to Death. 9 00:02:32,737 --> 00:02:34,705 Hey, Bert! You miss me? 10 00:02:34,873 --> 00:02:35,999 Woof. 11 00:02:37,141 --> 00:02:39,701 Hi, honey. I'm home. 12 00:02:41,913 --> 00:02:44,507 - For me? - Yhat's the word around town. 13 00:02:44,582 --> 00:02:47,551 Well, find something to put them in, silly. 14 00:03:01,466 --> 00:03:05,402 - What's cooking? - Edward, it's a surprise. 15 00:03:05,703 --> 00:03:09,537 I've got one, too. Honey, I got that raise! 16 00:03:10,241 --> 00:03:12,402 Darling, that's wonderful. 17 00:03:12,477 --> 00:03:16,174 Now we can finally afford that beautiful RV. 18 00:03:16,247 --> 00:03:18,681 Here's to us, sweetheart. 19 00:03:26,457 --> 00:03:28,357 Christ, Edward! 20 00:03:28,426 --> 00:03:31,452 I need you now! 21 00:03:45,243 --> 00:03:48,212 I've been aching for you all day. 22 00:03:54,385 --> 00:03:56,046 Now, Louise... 23 00:03:57,488 --> 00:04:00,685 For once in your life, just enjoy being needed. 24 00:04:13,838 --> 00:04:17,638 Oh, my God, it's practically talking to me. 25 00:04:23,414 --> 00:04:25,006 No, not again. 26 00:04:35,526 --> 00:04:39,018 Jimmy, why do I keep doing this to myself? 27 00:05:00,184 --> 00:05:01,549 Mr. Stronham? 28 00:05:01,619 --> 00:05:05,316 It's Edward Foster from 501. 29 00:05:08,359 --> 00:05:10,452 Yeah, what do you want? 30 00:05:11,763 --> 00:05:14,891 - My kitchen faucet has a- - Yes, I know all about it. 31 00:05:16,901 --> 00:05:18,562 Well, do you think maybe you could- 32 00:05:20,238 --> 00:05:21,830 No one's ever seen him. 33 00:05:21,906 --> 00:05:25,171 I've been here for five years, and I've never seen him. 34 00:05:25,443 --> 00:05:28,173 But, God forbid, you should be a minute late with the rent... 35 00:05:28,246 --> 00:05:31,306 they shoot you out of here like a scud missile. 36 00:05:31,382 --> 00:05:33,475 Oh, honey. 37 00:05:33,551 --> 00:05:38,454 Boxer shorts in this town will get you exactly nowhere. 38 00:05:38,523 --> 00:05:42,482 Please, tell Mrs. Parker you're not one of those stupid actor types. 39 00:05:42,560 --> 00:05:43,822 I'm a screenwriter. 40 00:05:44,729 --> 00:05:48,028 My third husband was a screenwriter. 41 00:05:48,099 --> 00:05:49,657 Are you working for a big studio? 42 00:05:49,734 --> 00:05:51,531 No, I'm writing my first screenplay now. 43 00:05:51,602 --> 00:05:54,571 See, I quit my job in my uncle's hat shop... Blocking. 44 00:05:54,639 --> 00:05:57,369 - Blocking? - Blocking, you know... It doesn't matter. 45 00:05:57,442 --> 00:06:00,070 Anyway, I'm here now, I got about $5,000 saved, which- 46 00:06:00,511 --> 00:06:04,709 Well, you're probably making one of those gratuitous movies... 47 00:06:04,782 --> 00:06:06,477 with all the language and the nudity. 48 00:06:06,551 --> 00:06:09,543 No, no, I'm writing a decent, wholesome movie. 49 00:06:09,620 --> 00:06:12,953 Yhe kind of picture you want to take the kids to see, or your grandmother. 50 00:06:13,024 --> 00:06:14,787 Yhat's too bad. 51 00:06:18,529 --> 00:06:21,123 Walter, listen to me! 52 00:06:21,199 --> 00:06:24,600 Walter, I just can't be involved with anyone right now. 53 00:06:24,902 --> 00:06:27,564 No, Walter, it's not you, it's me. 54 00:06:28,139 --> 00:06:30,369 I'm just not ready. 55 00:06:30,441 --> 00:06:33,239 Listen, if you could just get me in. 56 00:06:33,311 --> 00:06:35,040 Come on, just to meet. 57 00:06:35,113 --> 00:06:39,015 Walter, he's a major filmmaker. Come on! 58 00:07:11,449 --> 00:07:14,543 Walter, all I want is a chance. Just a chance. 59 00:07:15,153 --> 00:07:19,453 Walter, you do it for me, or you're dead meat with me forever! 60 00:07:30,535 --> 00:07:32,435 Hey, kid. 61 00:07:33,771 --> 00:07:35,705 I fixed your faucet. 62 00:07:35,773 --> 00:07:37,968 Already? I've only been gone- 63 00:07:38,042 --> 00:07:39,737 Rent's due tomorrow, kid. 64 00:07:41,646 --> 00:07:45,241 Mr. Stronham, there is a beautiful girl who lives in this building. 65 00:07:45,616 --> 00:07:49,177 - Miranda Singer, 509. - Miranda. 66 00:07:51,556 --> 00:07:53,547 Happy hunting, kid. 67 00:08:23,421 --> 00:08:26,185 Hi, you the messenger? Come on in, I'll sign. 68 00:08:26,257 --> 00:08:29,920 No. I'm Edward Foster. I live down... 69 00:08:30,261 --> 00:08:33,321 Alex, every girl in town is reading for this part. 70 00:08:33,998 --> 00:08:36,159 And they're not reading cold, they've got pages. 71 00:08:38,336 --> 00:08:40,736 Alex, I am this girl, I know I am. 72 00:08:41,305 --> 00:08:45,071 Alex, I will scream if you mention Bimbo Beach 2! 73 00:08:45,876 --> 00:08:48,640 I need those pages! You got it? 74 00:08:52,350 --> 00:08:55,319 - What are you doing? - French Lick, Indiana. 75 00:08:57,488 --> 00:09:00,821 - Who the hell are you, anyway? - Larry Bird's hometown. 76 00:09:01,125 --> 00:09:02,649 Get out of here! 77 00:09:02,727 --> 00:09:05,628 Out, out, out! 78 00:09:08,232 --> 00:09:10,530 Because I'm from Indiana, too, you see. 79 00:09:13,904 --> 00:09:15,394 Hello. 80 00:09:15,606 --> 00:09:18,632 Whatever your name is, I'm sorry. 81 00:09:19,644 --> 00:09:22,875 Sometimes I let things get to me, you know. Yhis town... 82 00:09:22,947 --> 00:09:25,541 - Miranda Singer. - Edward Foster. 83 00:09:25,616 --> 00:09:28,380 I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been going through your mail like that. 84 00:09:28,452 --> 00:09:31,080 Hello? Alex! 85 00:09:31,155 --> 00:09:33,419 Hey, why don't you come over later for a drink? 86 00:09:36,360 --> 00:09:37,691 Okay. 87 00:09:38,195 --> 00:09:40,823 Great. Yeah, I can do that. 88 00:10:50,401 --> 00:10:51,800 - Oh, hi! - Hi. 89 00:10:52,770 --> 00:10:54,101 Pretty flowers. 90 00:10:56,307 --> 00:10:58,400 Got yourself a midnight rendezvous? 91 00:11:10,721 --> 00:11:15,124 See you soon, kid. See you real soon. 92 00:11:31,208 --> 00:11:33,142 Hey, Edward Indiana. 93 00:11:34,945 --> 00:11:37,641 I must be the most insensitive person in the world. 94 00:11:37,715 --> 00:11:40,309 Weren't we supposed to have drinks the other night? 95 00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:44,585 Aren't you going somewhere? 96 00:11:46,223 --> 00:11:47,588 No. 97 00:11:55,166 --> 00:11:57,760 I'm working on this script you'd be perfect for. 98 00:11:58,636 --> 00:12:01,002 - Yhat's nice. - I even... Yhank you. 99 00:12:01,071 --> 00:12:04,199 I even changed the girl's name to Miranda after we met. 100 00:12:06,377 --> 00:12:09,835 - From Louise to Miranda, after you. - Yhat's sweet. 101 00:12:09,914 --> 00:12:12,940 I think it can make us both really famous. I got a feeling about this. 102 00:12:13,017 --> 00:12:14,416 I mean, we're both from Indiana- 103 00:12:14,485 --> 00:12:17,648 - You want to go out with me, don't you? - Very much, yes, I do. 104 00:12:20,558 --> 00:12:25,154 Look, you're a really nice guy, and I want to be as honest as possible here. 105 00:12:25,262 --> 00:12:28,425 You can't do anything for me, and I can't do anything for you. 106 00:12:28,499 --> 00:12:30,933 I'm sure you're gonna be rich and famous one day... 107 00:12:31,001 --> 00:12:32,901 and on that day, we have a date. 108 00:12:33,504 --> 00:12:36,098 8.. 00. I'll cook for you. 109 00:12:39,510 --> 00:12:42,843 Here's to persistence and getting what you want. 110 00:12:46,717 --> 00:12:48,412 You can find your way out. 111 00:12:52,089 --> 00:12:54,683 Hello, Alex? You what? 112 00:12:54,992 --> 00:12:58,257 Alex, you call them right back and tell them that frontal nudity... 113 00:12:58,329 --> 00:13:00,661 has never been a problem for Miranda Singer. 114 00:13:01,232 --> 00:13:02,893 Yes, I'll hold. 115 00:13:24,822 --> 00:13:26,414 How did you know? 116 00:13:27,258 --> 00:13:30,159 You fucking mind-reader. 117 00:13:32,763 --> 00:13:36,290 You dipshit little Midwest weasel! 118 00:13:38,135 --> 00:13:40,797 Out, out, out! 119 00:13:53,884 --> 00:13:58,446 Mr. Stronham, it's Edward Foster from down the hall. 120 00:14:00,758 --> 00:14:02,623 I have the rent money here. 121 00:14:03,994 --> 00:14:06,758 Do you want me to just slide it under the door? 122 00:14:24,682 --> 00:14:26,115 Hello? 123 00:14:36,260 --> 00:14:38,057 Mr. Stronham? 124 00:15:08,359 --> 00:15:10,190 Mr. Stronham. 125 00:15:21,171 --> 00:15:25,972 She kept you waiting for five fucking hours... 126 00:15:26,043 --> 00:15:29,035 and she didn't even remember that she had a date with you. 127 00:15:34,818 --> 00:15:38,276 You want my help, don't you, kid? 128 00:15:40,724 --> 00:15:41,816 I do? 129 00:15:45,562 --> 00:15:46,893 Women... 130 00:15:48,699 --> 00:15:50,758 you can't live with them... 131 00:15:51,468 --> 00:15:53,834 but you can't cut them up into tiny pieces... 132 00:15:53,904 --> 00:15:56,634 and tell the neighbors she's in Palm Springs, either. 133 00:15:59,209 --> 00:16:00,801 Good point. 134 00:16:03,747 --> 00:16:05,442 You must be quite a lady's man. 135 00:16:05,516 --> 00:16:08,508 Yhat's some collection you've got out there, those photographs. 136 00:16:08,585 --> 00:16:10,382 You want to know the truth, kid? 137 00:16:14,224 --> 00:16:15,919 I never met a single one of them. 138 00:16:20,731 --> 00:16:24,167 You really love her, this Miranda? 139 00:16:25,402 --> 00:16:27,768 I've been waiting for her my whole life. 140 00:16:33,510 --> 00:16:35,705 I don't do drugs, Mr. Stronham. 141 00:16:38,148 --> 00:16:40,309 If you really love her, kid... 142 00:16:41,385 --> 00:16:44,548 just say "yes. " 143 00:16:55,065 --> 00:16:56,726 I want to apologize about before. 144 00:16:56,800 --> 00:16:58,859 Move out of the building. We'll call it even. 145 00:16:58,936 --> 00:17:01,029 I can't stand having you hate me. 146 00:17:03,674 --> 00:17:07,474 - One drink? - I want this to be over with quickly. 147 00:17:12,483 --> 00:17:13,950 I need an opener. 148 00:17:14,251 --> 00:17:16,481 Anything to make the time go faster. 149 00:17:29,233 --> 00:17:30,530 Yhank you. 150 00:17:41,979 --> 00:17:43,412 Here is to- 151 00:17:50,420 --> 00:17:53,685 Why don't you leave now, and we'll pretend you drank yours? 152 00:17:55,425 --> 00:17:57,916 Miranda, when you just get to know me- 153 00:17:57,995 --> 00:18:00,327 911, you heard of it? 154 00:18:04,868 --> 00:18:07,393 Don't you feel... 155 00:18:08,539 --> 00:18:11,007 anything for me? 156 00:18:11,375 --> 00:18:14,367 - Yes, I'd like to report an intruder. - At all? 157 00:18:14,444 --> 00:18:17,345 Yes, there's a man in my apartment, and he won't get out! 158 00:18:18,048 --> 00:18:20,915 He won't get out. He won't get... 159 00:18:21,785 --> 00:18:23,377 He won't get... 160 00:18:24,955 --> 00:18:25,944 out... 161 00:18:27,591 --> 00:18:29,582 of his clothes. 162 00:18:46,109 --> 00:18:48,339 - Christ, you taste good! - I know. 163 00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:52,371 I can't stand it. I can't wait. 164 00:19:19,243 --> 00:19:20,710 Edward. 165 00:19:22,913 --> 00:19:24,676 Let me read your script. 166 00:19:25,115 --> 00:19:27,413 Not till it's finished, honey. 167 00:19:28,619 --> 00:19:30,814 Yhat reminds me. 168 00:19:37,594 --> 00:19:41,086 - We're not finished. - We're not? 169 00:19:44,601 --> 00:19:47,502 We've been at it all night. It's time to get up. 170 00:19:48,205 --> 00:19:50,230 Yes, it is, Edward. 171 00:19:53,710 --> 00:19:55,769 I will love you, Edward. 172 00:19:56,413 --> 00:19:59,780 All the way, in every way. 173 00:20:00,684 --> 00:20:02,709 I will be so good to you. 174 00:20:04,221 --> 00:20:05,552 You will? 175 00:20:19,436 --> 00:20:21,904 You're beautiful, you know that? 176 00:20:22,239 --> 00:20:25,231 Physically, spiritually... 177 00:20:25,342 --> 00:20:27,276 you're a total writing machine. 178 00:20:27,344 --> 00:20:29,938 A capital "G" genius. 179 00:20:31,915 --> 00:20:33,678 I love you, too, darling. 180 00:20:33,750 --> 00:20:35,775 "I love you, too, darling. " 181 00:20:36,420 --> 00:20:39,981 Oh, God, what a line. I mean, that should be in your scene. 182 00:20:41,925 --> 00:20:44,894 Didn't Alex say something about an audition today? 183 00:20:45,362 --> 00:20:48,422 Yeah, but I canceled it to be near you. 184 00:20:51,001 --> 00:20:53,265 I have to write, Miranda. 185 00:20:53,337 --> 00:20:56,204 Of course you do, darling... 186 00:20:56,807 --> 00:20:59,970 and I'm going to help you with the scene. 187 00:21:16,159 --> 00:21:19,754 - What do you think, my darling? - What do I think? 188 00:21:20,464 --> 00:21:22,295 I think I'm exhausted. 189 00:21:22,366 --> 00:21:25,028 Yo use words I never thought would cross these lips... 190 00:21:25,102 --> 00:21:26,399 Miranda... 191 00:21:27,938 --> 00:21:29,132 I'm fucked out. 192 00:21:29,639 --> 00:21:31,698 Well, I'm not exhausted. 193 00:21:32,542 --> 00:21:35,067 I'm not fucked out. 194 00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:38,814 I'll never be with you. 195 00:21:40,784 --> 00:21:44,345 Yhe more I do it, the more I want to do it. 196 00:21:45,255 --> 00:21:48,554 I'm going to drain you dry! 197 00:21:54,131 --> 00:21:55,530 Give it to me! 198 00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:57,389 Oh, God! 199 00:22:11,915 --> 00:22:13,177 No, please don't! 200 00:22:13,784 --> 00:22:16,150 My body's aching for you. 201 00:22:17,554 --> 00:22:19,749 I've got a hole in my heart. 202 00:22:21,425 --> 00:22:23,552 Don't play with me. 203 00:22:26,596 --> 00:22:29,622 Don't keep us apart, darling Edward! 204 00:22:29,699 --> 00:22:33,032 Edward, please! Edward, I've got to love you! 205 00:22:33,537 --> 00:22:35,300 I gotta go out. 206 00:22:35,372 --> 00:22:37,397 - Good, I'll get dressed. - No, alone. 207 00:22:37,507 --> 00:22:39,873 - No! - No, I don't want to anymore, Miranda. 208 00:22:39,943 --> 00:22:42,434 Yes, hate me! Hate me! 209 00:22:42,512 --> 00:22:44,571 I deserve it! 210 00:22:53,223 --> 00:22:55,589 You could never hurt me. 211 00:23:15,212 --> 00:23:16,372 I can't take anymore. 212 00:23:16,446 --> 00:23:19,438 For God's sake, give me something to make her stop, please. 213 00:23:21,718 --> 00:23:24,482 Yhere is no cure for this love, Edward. 214 00:23:25,722 --> 00:23:29,317 Yhere's no antidote for a poison this strong. 215 00:23:30,927 --> 00:23:33,896 You'd do anything to be rid of her, wouldn't you? 216 00:23:37,734 --> 00:23:38,894 Anything. 217 00:23:43,573 --> 00:23:47,509 Yhose women on the wall outside, those pictures, they're all dead, aren't they? 218 00:23:49,146 --> 00:23:51,114 Other men wanted love. 219 00:23:51,448 --> 00:23:53,814 I had the power to give it to them. 220 00:23:55,252 --> 00:23:57,243 Yhen they wanted death. 221 00:23:58,755 --> 00:24:01,690 Yhe only way out, Edward. 222 00:24:02,425 --> 00:24:05,861 Yeah, well, maybe for them, but not for me, pal, okay? 223 00:24:09,099 --> 00:24:10,361 Edward? 224 00:24:11,067 --> 00:24:12,500 Edward? 225 00:24:13,837 --> 00:24:16,670 Edward, I know you're in there. 226 00:24:17,107 --> 00:24:19,200 I can wait, darling. 227 00:24:19,442 --> 00:24:21,808 We have plenty of time. 228 00:24:24,347 --> 00:24:26,907 We have the rest of our lives. 229 00:24:29,085 --> 00:24:30,347 Edward? 230 00:24:31,021 --> 00:24:32,716 Edward? 231 00:24:37,727 --> 00:24:40,321 You knew this would happen, didn't you? 232 00:24:42,766 --> 00:24:45,496 I'm just here to help, kid. 233 00:24:52,075 --> 00:24:53,440 Hello, darling. 234 00:24:53,977 --> 00:24:56,309 - Hi, honey, I'm back. - Hi. 235 00:24:56,379 --> 00:24:58,939 See, I'm helping you finish your script. 236 00:24:59,015 --> 00:25:01,950 - Wonderful. - And look, there's champagne. 237 00:25:03,119 --> 00:25:06,179 - Great. - I'll get an opener. 238 00:25:06,423 --> 00:25:07,913 Would you? 239 00:25:26,876 --> 00:25:28,309 Silly me. 240 00:25:28,378 --> 00:25:31,245 Champagne doesn't need an opener. It needs a pop! 241 00:25:31,815 --> 00:25:34,978 - Yhat's right, silly. - Now, go see what I wrote. 242 00:25:35,051 --> 00:25:37,713 It's all about you and me. Go on, go on. 243 00:25:42,225 --> 00:25:44,193 I should have the dirty glass. 244 00:25:49,499 --> 00:25:52,627 It's wonderful, darling. Very romantic. 245 00:25:52,702 --> 00:25:54,169 Let's toast. 246 00:25:54,237 --> 00:25:55,898 Yes, let's. 247 00:25:56,306 --> 00:25:59,605 Here's to persistence and getting what you want. 248 00:26:14,491 --> 00:26:15,981 Oh, shit. 249 00:26:43,987 --> 00:26:45,955 Edward? 250 00:26:46,589 --> 00:26:49,490 Edward! 251 00:26:49,559 --> 00:26:52,926 My darling, I found you! 252 00:26:53,863 --> 00:26:58,562 When you died, I was so upset I threw myself out the window. 253 00:26:59,235 --> 00:27:02,568 Now we'll be together, my love. 254 00:27:03,673 --> 00:27:05,800 Forever! 255 00:27:22,692 --> 00:27:24,523 Good old Edward. 256 00:27:24,594 --> 00:27:27,563 He should have stuck to sending mash notes. 257 00:27:27,831 --> 00:27:32,700 Maybe then he wouldn't have ended up in a state of holy deadlock. 258 00:27:37,140 --> 00:27:41,338 So, was it good for you, too? 259 00:27:44,147 --> 00:27:46,377 Yalk about head over heels.