1 00:00:04,988 --> 00:00:07,490 GOOD EVENING, FEAR FANS. 2 00:00:07,525 --> 00:00:09,958 YOU'RE JUST IN TIME. 3 00:00:09,993 --> 00:00:13,261 ONE VENTRILOQUIST'S DUMMY. 4 00:00:13,296 --> 00:00:16,800 HACME NOVELTY COMPANY, BATTLE SHRIEK, MICHIGAN. 5 00:00:16,835 --> 00:00:19,267 OH, GOODY! 6 00:00:19,302 --> 00:00:21,269 WATCH THIS, KIDDIES. 7 00:00:21,304 --> 00:00:23,807 YOU WON'T SEE MY LIPS MOVE. 8 00:00:23,842 --> 00:00:26,076 YOU KNOW WHY? 9 00:00:26,111 --> 00:00:28,311 I DON'T HAVE ANY! 10 00:00:28,812 --> 00:00:30,779 WELL, HELLO, DICKY. 11 00:00:30,814 --> 00:00:33,817 WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO TELL A TALE FROM THE CRYPT? 12 00:00:33,852 --> 00:00:37,202 NO, THANKS, DEATH BREATH. 13 00:00:37,237 --> 00:00:40,740 THEN HOW ABOUT SITTING A LITTLE CLOSER TO THE FIRE? 14 00:00:42,242 --> 00:00:44,209 THAT'S BETTER. 15 00:00:44,244 --> 00:00:47,247 NOW I CAN DOLE OUT A DISEASED LITTLE DITTY 16 00:00:47,747 --> 00:00:50,750 ABOUT THE SCHIZOFRANTIC NATURE OF SHOW BIZ 17 00:00:51,251 --> 00:00:54,128 AND HOW TO HACK YOUR WAY TO THE TOP. 18 00:00:54,163 --> 00:00:56,752 SO GRAB HOLD OF YOUR GUTS, KIDDIES, 19 00:00:56,787 --> 00:00:59,342 'CAUSE TONIGHT YOU GET TO RUB ELBOWS 20 00:00:59,377 --> 00:01:02,345 WITH THE VENTRILOQUIST'S DUMMY. 21 00:01:05,348 --> 00:01:08,601 SO YOU'RE GOING TO AFRICA ON SAFARI, HUH? 22 00:01:08,636 --> 00:01:11,496 ARE YOU CRAZY? THAT'S VERY DANGEROUS. 23 00:01:11,531 --> 00:01:14,357 YOU COULD RUN ACROSS A VERY ANGRY LION. 24 00:01:14,858 --> 00:01:16,359 I'LL HAVE MY GUN WITH ME. 25 00:01:16,394 --> 00:01:17,325 DOES IT SHOOT LIONS? 26 00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:19,337 NO, STUPID. IT SHOOTS BULLETS. 27 00:01:19,372 --> 00:01:21,279 LIONS ARE TOO BIG TO LOAD. 28 00:01:21,314 --> 00:01:23,316 HOW ABOUT A NICE POP IN THE MOUTH? 29 00:01:23,351 --> 00:01:25,283 WHAT, ARE YOU KIDDING ME? 30 00:01:25,318 --> 00:01:27,821 LISTEN, MAYBE YOU OUGHT TO SKIP GOING TO AFRICA. 31 00:01:27,856 --> 00:01:30,323 STAY HOME AND GO HUNTING HERE- 32 00:01:30,358 --> 00:01:32,290 DUCKS, GEESE. 33 00:01:32,325 --> 00:01:34,327 BUT I CAN'T TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DUCKS AND GEESE. 34 00:01:34,362 --> 00:01:35,293 IT'S VERY EASY. 35 00:01:35,328 --> 00:01:39,332 DUCKS GO "QUACK QUACK." UNDERSTAND? 36 00:01:39,367 --> 00:01:41,602 AND GEESE GO "HONK HONK." 37 00:01:41,637 --> 00:01:43,802 IF A PACK OF BIRDS FLY OVER 38 00:01:43,837 --> 00:01:46,005 AND THEY GO "HONK HONK," WHAT DO YOU DO? 39 00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:48,508 PULL OVER AND LET THEM PASS. 40 00:01:50,510 --> 00:01:52,011 WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU APPLAUDING ABOUT? 41 00:01:52,046 --> 00:01:53,311 WHAT ARE YOU? SEALS? 42 00:01:53,346 --> 00:01:54,430 THAT'S ONE OF MY BIG ONES. 43 00:01:54,931 --> 00:01:57,398 AND THE FAT GUY BETTER LAUGH. 44 00:01:57,433 --> 00:01:59,435 I SEE YOU, THE FAT GUY, AND I'M GONNA PUT STRIPES ON YOUR FACE 45 00:01:59,470 --> 00:02:02,939 AND ROLL YOU DOWN THE BEACH FOR A HALF HOUR. 46 00:02:02,974 --> 00:02:04,405 VERY SERIOUSLY, I'M LOOKING AROUND, 47 00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:05,907 AND I SEE THE FOOD SITTING ON THE TABLES. 48 00:02:05,942 --> 00:02:09,412 THERE'S FLIES STARTING TO DIE RIGHT IN-RIGHT ON THE PLATES. 49 00:02:09,447 --> 00:02:10,914 HOW'S THE FOOD IN THIS PLACE, HUH? 50 00:02:11,414 --> 00:02:13,331 DON'T ASK. TERRIBLE! LOUSY! 51 00:02:13,366 --> 00:02:15,869 I BROUGHT MY GIRL HERE FOR DINNER LAST NIGHT, 52 00:02:15,904 --> 00:02:17,388 AND SHE FOUND A BUG IN HER SOUP. 53 00:02:17,423 --> 00:02:18,872 OH, THAT'S TERRIBLE. WHAT HAPPENED? 54 00:02:19,372 --> 00:02:22,375 SHE YELLED, "WAITER, REMOVE THIS INSECT AT ONCE." 55 00:02:22,410 --> 00:02:23,341 AND? 56 00:02:23,376 --> 00:02:25,343 THE GUY THREW ME OUT. 57 00:02:25,378 --> 00:02:27,130 THAT WAS A GOOD ONE, HUH, LADY? 58 00:02:27,165 --> 00:02:28,897 THE OLD BROAD CAME ALIVE. 59 00:02:28,932 --> 00:02:30,433 WE'VE BEEN UP HERE A HALF-HOUR, 60 00:02:30,468 --> 00:02:31,702 AND THE OLD BROAD FINALLY WENT, 61 00:02:31,737 --> 00:02:32,901 "THAT WAS A GOOD ONE, LOU!" 62 00:02:32,936 --> 00:02:35,939 STOP COUGHING WHEN I'M DELIVERING FUNNY LINES. 63 00:02:36,439 --> 00:02:37,405 PUT YOURSELF IN A HOSPITAL 64 00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:38,441 AND JUST LAY THERE WITH THE COVERS OPEN 65 00:02:38,476 --> 00:02:40,909 AND LET THE NURSE STARE AT YOU. 66 00:02:40,944 --> 00:02:42,812 LOOK, IF YOU'RE HUNGRY, JUST THOUGHT OF SOMETHING. 67 00:02:42,847 --> 00:02:45,732 I HEAR THE TONGUE SANDWICH IS PRETTY GOOD. 68 00:02:45,767 --> 00:02:46,733 WELL, I'LL BE VERY HONEST WITH YOU. 69 00:02:46,768 --> 00:02:47,699 I NEVER EAT ANYTHING 70 00:02:47,734 --> 00:02:49,861 THAT COMES FROM AN ANIMAL'S MOUTH. 71 00:02:49,896 --> 00:02:51,988 WELL, THEN, HOW ABOUT SOME EGGS? 72 00:02:52,023 --> 00:02:53,489 OOH! 73 00:02:53,990 --> 00:02:54,991 OH, A WISE GUY, HUH, MORTY? 74 00:02:55,026 --> 00:02:56,009 YOU'RE STEAMING ME. 75 00:02:56,044 --> 00:02:56,993 REALLY GETTIN' TO ME. 76 00:02:57,028 --> 00:02:58,459 HA HA HA! 77 00:02:58,494 --> 00:03:00,496 Morty: HOLD ON TO THIS AUTOGRAPH, KID. 78 00:03:00,531 --> 00:03:02,463 IT WILL BE WORTH A BUNDLE SOME DAY. 79 00:03:02,498 --> 00:03:04,000 WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP, BILLY? 80 00:03:04,035 --> 00:03:05,967 A VENTRILOQUIST, JUST LIKE YOU. 81 00:03:06,002 --> 00:03:09,505 Woman: NONSENSE. HE WANTS TO BE A DOCTOR. DON'T YOU, BILLY? 82 00:03:09,540 --> 00:03:10,471 HEY, BILL. 83 00:03:10,506 --> 00:03:12,508 ANYTIME YOU NEED ANY ADVICE OR A FEW TIPS, 84 00:03:13,009 --> 00:03:14,510 FEEL FREE TO LOOK ME UP, OK, KID? 85 00:03:15,011 --> 00:03:16,512 GOLLY, MR. INGELS, THANKS. 86 00:03:16,547 --> 00:03:17,478 LOOK, MOM. 87 00:03:17,513 --> 00:03:19,015 IT'S LOVELY. LET'S GO. 88 00:03:19,515 --> 00:03:19,515 IT'S LOVELY. LET'S GO. 89 00:03:31,995 --> 00:03:33,461 WE STILL GOT OUR DATE, DON'T WE? 90 00:03:33,496 --> 00:03:35,999 I KNOW THIS GREAT LITTLE AFTER-HOURS JOINT. 91 00:03:36,034 --> 00:03:37,966 I'M NOT FEELING VERY WELL. 92 00:03:38,001 --> 00:03:39,869 WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU'RE NOT FEELING VERY WELL? 93 00:03:39,904 --> 00:03:41,586 DON'T LISTEN TO HIM, BABY. 94 00:03:41,621 --> 00:03:44,088 HE'S NEVER FELT BETTER. LET'S GO. 95 00:03:44,123 --> 00:03:45,625 AND WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE ME TO? 96 00:03:45,660 --> 00:03:47,394 HOW ABOUT OUR BUNGALOW, TOOTS? 97 00:03:47,429 --> 00:03:49,530 WE'LL SHOW YOU OUR ETCHINGS. 98 00:03:49,565 --> 00:03:51,631 YOU ARE SO CUTE. 99 00:03:51,666 --> 00:03:52,597 AND YOU- 100 00:03:52,632 --> 00:03:54,634 YOU'RE NOT SO BAD YOURSELF. 101 00:04:00,607 --> 00:04:03,109 Woman: FIRE! HELP! 102 00:04:08,982 --> 00:04:11,484 LIGHTS OUT NOW, BILLY! 103 00:04:11,519 --> 00:04:13,987 OK, MOM. LIGHTS OUT. 104 00:04:14,022 --> 00:04:15,989 I SAID NOW! 105 00:04:28,751 --> 00:04:30,637 Woman: IS THERE ANYBODY IN THERE? 106 00:04:30,672 --> 00:04:31,386 I DON'T KNOW YET. 107 00:04:31,421 --> 00:04:32,422 I LOOKED AROUND THE BACK. 108 00:04:32,457 --> 00:04:33,423 I COULDN'T SEE NOTHING. 109 00:04:33,923 --> 00:04:35,842 HURRY UP! IT'S GOING UP LIKE A FURNACE. 110 00:04:36,342 --> 00:04:37,827 ANYBODY IN THERE? 111 00:04:37,862 --> 00:04:39,312 MOM, COME HERE QUICK! 112 00:04:57,196 --> 00:04:59,631 WE'RE HERE. 113 00:04:59,666 --> 00:05:02,669 OOPS. COME ON, TIM. 114 00:05:02,704 --> 00:05:06,137 OH, WOW. 115 00:05:06,172 --> 00:05:07,173 WHERE ARE WE? IS THIS- 116 00:05:07,674 --> 00:05:07,674 WHERE ARE WE? IS THIS- 117 00:05:09,676 --> 00:05:12,178 136. MUST BE IT. 118 00:05:12,213 --> 00:05:14,681 HI, MR. INGELS. 119 00:05:15,181 --> 00:05:17,148 HELLO, SIR. YOU PROBABLY-NO. 120 00:05:17,183 --> 00:05:19,185 HI, SIR. YOU PROBABLY DON'T REMEMBER ME. 121 00:05:19,220 --> 00:05:21,705 MY NAME IS BILLY GOLDMAN. 122 00:05:21,740 --> 00:05:24,190 I MET YOU A LONG TIME AGO. 123 00:05:27,977 --> 00:05:30,479 Man: IT'S PRIVATE PROPERTY, JERK-OFF. GO AWAY! 124 00:05:30,514 --> 00:05:32,982 MR. INGELS, SIR, YOU PROBABLY DON'T REMEMBER ME, 125 00:05:33,017 --> 00:05:33,948 BUT MY NAME IS BILLY GOLDMAN- 126 00:05:33,983 --> 00:05:35,485 PISS OFF! YOU WANT IT IN WRITING, HUH? 127 00:05:35,985 --> 00:05:36,951 PISS OFF! 128 00:05:36,986 --> 00:05:38,453 I HAVE BEEN DRIVING FOR 3 DAYS. 129 00:05:38,488 --> 00:05:41,491 I AM NOT LEAVING UNTIL YOU TALK TO ME. 130 00:05:41,526 --> 00:05:43,958 HI, MY NAME IS TIM. 131 00:05:43,993 --> 00:05:46,462 HI THERE. CAN MORTY COME OUT AND PLAY? 132 00:05:46,497 --> 00:05:49,263 OH, SHIT! 133 00:05:49,298 --> 00:05:50,299 COME ON IN, YOU... 134 00:05:52,802 --> 00:05:54,721 WELL, CLOSE THE DOOR, SCHMUCK. IT'S NOT A BARN. 135 00:05:59,759 --> 00:06:01,225 HEY, HEY. 136 00:06:01,260 --> 00:06:02,261 IT AIN'T GOING TO BE THAT LONG. 137 00:06:02,762 --> 00:06:03,679 HUH? WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND? MAKE YOUR POINT. 138 00:06:04,180 --> 00:06:06,147 I'M BILLY GOLDMAN. 139 00:06:06,182 --> 00:06:07,683 YOU SAID I COULD LOOK YOU UP. 140 00:06:07,718 --> 00:06:08,952 OH, YEAH? 141 00:06:08,987 --> 00:06:10,151 WELL, UMM... 142 00:06:10,186 --> 00:06:11,687 IT WAS 15 YEARS AGO. 143 00:06:11,722 --> 00:06:13,154 I WAS 11 YEARS OLD. 144 00:06:13,189 --> 00:06:14,690 OH, HE'S GOT A MEMORY LIKE AN ELEPHANT. 145 00:06:15,074 --> 00:06:16,457 HOW LUCKY CAN YOU GET? 146 00:06:16,492 --> 00:06:19,495 I WAS THERE. I SAW YOUR LAST PERFORMANCE. 147 00:06:19,530 --> 00:06:20,461 HOW WAS I? 148 00:06:20,496 --> 00:06:21,998 YOU-WELL, YOU WERE GREAT. 149 00:06:22,498 --> 00:06:23,499 YOU WERE UNBELIEVABLE. 150 00:06:23,534 --> 00:06:24,382 GOOD ANSWER. 151 00:06:24,417 --> 00:06:26,335 WHO WRITES YOUR MATERIAL? 152 00:06:28,337 --> 00:06:30,088 WOW! 153 00:06:30,123 --> 00:06:31,858 IS THAT MORTY? CAN I-I WANNA- 154 00:06:31,893 --> 00:06:33,593 NO! HEY! HEY! DON'T TOUCH THAT! 155 00:06:33,628 --> 00:06:35,112 LEAVE IT ALONE, WILL YA? 156 00:06:35,147 --> 00:06:36,596 HE'S RETIRED, LIKE ME. 157 00:06:37,096 --> 00:06:38,062 WHAT IS IT WITH YOU? 158 00:06:38,097 --> 00:06:40,099 WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? 159 00:06:43,019 --> 00:06:44,495 SO MUCH HISTORY. 160 00:06:44,530 --> 00:06:45,937 SO MANY MEMORIES. 161 00:06:45,972 --> 00:06:49,776 "SHOWGIRL DIES IN TRAGIC RESORT FIRE. 162 00:06:49,811 --> 00:06:51,561 FAMOUS VENTRILOQUIST INJURED." 163 00:06:57,867 --> 00:07:00,678 SOME MEMORIES ARE BETTER THAN OTHERS. 164 00:07:00,713 --> 00:07:03,956 I'M NOT EVEN SURE HOW THE FIRE STARTED. 165 00:07:07,910 --> 00:07:09,877 ALL I KNOW IS... 166 00:07:09,912 --> 00:07:11,414 I LOST EVERYTHING THAT NIGHT. 167 00:07:11,449 --> 00:07:12,915 EVERYTHING. 168 00:07:13,416 --> 00:07:15,418 COULDN'T YOU OPERATE MORTY WITH YOUR LEFT HAND? 169 00:07:15,453 --> 00:07:17,920 LEFT? LEFT? LEFT? 170 00:07:18,421 --> 00:07:19,422 THAT'S GOOD FOR OPENING DOORS 171 00:07:19,457 --> 00:07:21,307 AND SWATTING FLIES. 172 00:07:21,724 --> 00:07:24,644 THIS IS THE HAND THAT HAD THE MAGIC IN IT. 173 00:07:24,679 --> 00:07:26,145 WHY DID YOU COME, HUH? 174 00:07:26,646 --> 00:07:28,598 TO STIR UP OLD MEMORIES? 175 00:07:28,633 --> 00:07:30,600 TO PRY INTO MY PAIN? 176 00:07:31,100 --> 00:07:33,367 SPEAK UP, DAMN IT! 177 00:07:33,402 --> 00:07:37,857 UM, TOMORROW IS AMATEUR NIGHT AT THE NAUTICAL CLUB. 178 00:07:37,892 --> 00:07:39,824 I WANTED MY FIRST TIME IN FRONT OF AN AUDIENCE 179 00:07:39,859 --> 00:07:43,362 TO BE ON THE VERY SAME STAGE THAT I SAW YOU PERFORM. 180 00:07:43,397 --> 00:07:45,248 I WAS HOPING THAT MAYBE YOU COULD COME BY 181 00:07:45,748 --> 00:07:47,965 AND GIVE ME YOUR CRITIQUE. 182 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:49,452 YOU KNOW, MAYBE SOME POINTERS. 183 00:07:49,487 --> 00:07:51,787 I DON'T GO OUT MUCH. 184 00:07:51,822 --> 00:07:53,306 YEAH, WELL... 185 00:07:53,341 --> 00:07:54,790 THANKS. UM... 186 00:07:55,291 --> 00:07:57,760 SORRY I WASTED YOUR TIME. 187 00:08:01,714 --> 00:08:05,718 MR. INGELS, EVER SINCE I SAW YOU THAT NIGHT, 188 00:08:05,753 --> 00:08:07,687 YOU'VE BEEN MY IDOL. 189 00:08:07,722 --> 00:08:09,353 BECAUSE OF YOU, 190 00:08:09,388 --> 00:08:13,809 ALL I'VE EVER WANTED TO BE IS A VENTRILOQUIST. 191 00:08:13,844 --> 00:08:17,313 I GOT TO KNOW IF I'VE GOT WHAT IT TAKES. 192 00:08:17,348 --> 00:08:18,648 ONLY YOU CAN TELL ME THAT. 193 00:08:22,201 --> 00:08:23,618 HEY, KID. 194 00:08:23,653 --> 00:08:27,156 WHAT'S YOUR NAME AGAIN? 195 00:08:27,191 --> 00:08:28,623 BILLY GOLDMAN. 196 00:08:28,658 --> 00:08:30,993 BILLY GOLDMAN, YOU FORGOT YOUR ACT. 197 00:08:37,750 --> 00:08:39,252 BILLY! 198 00:08:40,636 --> 00:08:41,971 I'LL THINK ABOUT IT. 199 00:08:46,309 --> 00:08:47,810 HE'LL THINK ABOUT IT. 200 00:08:54,817 --> 00:08:56,033 WHAT DO YOU THINK, MORTY? 201 00:08:56,068 --> 00:08:58,354 CAMPTOWN LADIES SING THIS SONG 202 00:08:58,389 --> 00:09:00,821 DOO-DAH, DOO-DAH 203 00:09:00,856 --> 00:09:02,858 CAMPTOWN RACETRACK 5 MILES LONG 204 00:09:02,893 --> 00:09:05,128 OH, DOO-DAH DAY... 205 00:09:05,163 --> 00:09:06,763 AMATEUR NIGHT. 206 00:09:06,798 --> 00:09:08,329 BOY, YOU SAID IT. 207 00:09:08,364 --> 00:09:09,865 SOUNDS LIKE A CAT IN HEAT. 208 00:09:09,900 --> 00:09:11,367 I THINK SHE'S PRETTY GOOD. 209 00:09:11,402 --> 00:09:12,368 HEY, WATCH IT! 210 00:09:12,403 --> 00:09:13,334 BIG TITS. 211 00:09:13,369 --> 00:09:14,870 THAT'S THE SECRET TO AMATEUR NIGHT. 212 00:09:14,905 --> 00:09:16,372 ALWAYS MAKE SURE YOU GOT BIG TITS. 213 00:09:16,407 --> 00:09:17,873 OTHERWISE, YOU'RE SOUTH. 214 00:09:17,908 --> 00:09:18,874 EXCUSE ME. HEY! 215 00:09:18,909 --> 00:09:20,376 THANK YOU. 216 00:09:20,876 --> 00:09:23,379 ... GOING TO RUN ALL NIGHT 217 00:09:23,879 --> 00:09:24,880 GOING TO RUN ALL DAY 218 00:09:25,381 --> 00:09:27,633 I BET MY MONEY ON A BOBTAIL NAG 219 00:09:27,668 --> 00:09:29,885 SOMEBODY BET ON THE BAY 220 00:09:30,386 --> 00:09:31,185 OH, MY GOD. 221 00:09:31,220 --> 00:09:32,772 HE ACTUALLY CAME. HE'S HERE. 222 00:09:32,807 --> 00:09:33,738 HE'S HERE! 223 00:09:33,773 --> 00:09:34,739 LET'S GO! YOU'RE ON! 224 00:09:34,774 --> 00:09:35,775 LET'S GO! LET'S GO! COME ON! COME ON! 225 00:09:35,810 --> 00:09:37,742 OK, OK. MY CHAIR. 226 00:09:37,777 --> 00:09:39,528 GET YOUR CHAIR! THEY'RE WAITING FOR YOU! 227 00:09:39,563 --> 00:09:41,280 WHAT'S THE MATTER? COME ON! COME ON! 228 00:09:41,315 --> 00:09:42,782 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, 229 00:09:43,282 --> 00:09:46,285 AMATEUR NIGHT CONTINUES AT THE NAUTICAL CLUB 230 00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:48,287 WITH AN UNKNOWN, UNHEARD-OF, 231 00:09:48,788 --> 00:09:50,289 AND LIKELY TO STAY THAT WAY- 232 00:09:50,790 --> 00:09:52,256 JUST KIDDING... 233 00:09:52,291 --> 00:09:54,794 THE FABULOUS VENTRILOQUISM OF TIM- 234 00:09:54,829 --> 00:09:55,760 WHAT'S YOUR NAME? 235 00:09:55,795 --> 00:09:56,796 BILLY. MY NAME'S BILLY- 236 00:09:57,296 --> 00:09:58,262 AND BILLY! TIM AND BILLY! 237 00:09:58,297 --> 00:10:00,299 COME ON! PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER! COME ON! 238 00:10:04,303 --> 00:10:07,138 UM, THIS WILL JUST BE A SECOND. 239 00:10:07,173 --> 00:10:10,142 Tim: GOOD EVENING, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN- 240 00:10:10,177 --> 00:10:11,510 UH, LADIES AND GERMS. 241 00:10:15,982 --> 00:10:19,235 BRING BACK THE FUCKIN' GIRL WITH THE TITS. 242 00:10:19,270 --> 00:10:22,488 I JUST RECENTLY FLEW IN FROM NEW JERSEY. 243 00:10:22,523 --> 00:10:24,940 Audience: BET YOUR ARMS ARE TIRED! 244 00:10:24,975 --> 00:10:27,443 AND MY ARMS ARE TIRED. 245 00:10:33,282 --> 00:10:36,252 COME ON, KID. YOU CAN DO IT. 246 00:10:36,287 --> 00:10:38,772 BUT... 247 00:10:38,807 --> 00:10:41,222 BOO! BOO! 248 00:10:41,257 --> 00:10:42,191 BUT SERIOUSLY, FOLKS-AHEM. 249 00:10:42,226 --> 00:10:43,125 BUT SERIOUSLY, FOLKS-AHEM. 250 00:10:46,712 --> 00:10:49,180 MY PARTNER AND MYSELF 251 00:10:49,215 --> 00:10:52,009 WOULD LIKE TO TAKE THIS TIME TO ANNOUNCE 252 00:10:52,044 --> 00:10:54,804 WE HAVE A SPECIAL GUEST IN THE AUDIENCE. 253 00:10:54,839 --> 00:10:55,736 UH... 254 00:10:55,771 --> 00:10:59,657 A MAN WHO, WITHOUT ANY DOUBT, 255 00:10:59,692 --> 00:11:03,696 IS PROBABLY THE WORLD'S GREATEST VENTRILOQUIST. 256 00:11:03,731 --> 00:11:06,198 Man: WHO CARES? 257 00:11:09,201 --> 00:11:11,404 GO HOME TO YOUR MAMA! 258 00:11:31,974 --> 00:11:32,940 HEY, CUTIE PIE. 259 00:11:32,975 --> 00:11:35,978 WANT TO BUY A GIRL A DRINK? 260 00:11:36,479 --> 00:11:38,230 YOU KNOW, YOU'RE KIND OF CUTE. 261 00:11:38,265 --> 00:11:39,982 YOU LOOK LIKE MY GRANDFATHER. 262 00:11:40,483 --> 00:11:43,486 I HAVE A SPECIAL TODAY ON FAMILY MEMBERS. 263 00:11:43,521 --> 00:11:44,952 LEAVE ME ALONE. LEAVE ME ALONE. 264 00:11:44,987 --> 00:11:47,990 WELL, IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND, I'M DOWN THERE. 265 00:11:48,491 --> 00:11:49,492 PERK UP. 266 00:12:01,003 --> 00:12:03,005 I WAS TERRIBLE, WASN'T I? 267 00:12:05,007 --> 00:12:06,008 IT WASN'T TERRIBLE. 268 00:12:06,459 --> 00:12:06,459 IT WASN'T TERRIBLE. 269 00:12:09,879 --> 00:12:12,089 OK, IT WAS TERRIBLE. 270 00:12:12,124 --> 00:12:14,265 YOU HAD NO TECHNIQUE... 271 00:12:14,300 --> 00:12:16,719 NO CONCENTRATION, AND NO MATERIAL, 272 00:12:17,186 --> 00:12:19,603 AND YOU HAD NO IDEA HOW TO WORK THE AUDIENCE. 273 00:12:19,638 --> 00:12:23,025 BILLY, I SUGGEST YOU LOOK FOR ANOTHER LINE OF WORK. 274 00:12:23,526 --> 00:12:24,527 YEAH. 275 00:12:25,027 --> 00:12:27,029 LISTEN, UM, THANKS FOR COMING DOWN, 276 00:12:27,530 --> 00:12:30,449 AND, UM, I'M SORRY ABOUT THE WASTED TRIP. 277 00:12:32,952 --> 00:12:34,403 BILLY. 278 00:12:34,904 --> 00:12:34,904 BILLY. 279 00:12:38,407 --> 00:12:41,293 BILLY, I'M TRULY SORRY. 280 00:12:41,328 --> 00:12:43,177 BELIEVE ME. 281 00:12:43,212 --> 00:12:44,595 I KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE 282 00:12:44,630 --> 00:12:46,499 WHEN YOUR WHOLE LIFE'S DREAM 283 00:12:46,966 --> 00:12:49,802 CRUMBLES LIKE DUST IN YOUR HAND. 284 00:12:49,837 --> 00:12:50,803 THANKS. 285 00:13:03,566 --> 00:13:04,567 NO. 286 00:13:04,984 --> 00:13:04,984 NO. 287 00:13:33,462 --> 00:13:34,930 CAN I BUY YOU A DRINK, MY DEAR? 288 00:13:36,265 --> 00:13:38,766 WHAT WAS I FUCKIN' THINKING ABOUT? 289 00:13:38,801 --> 00:13:42,304 MY MOTHER WAS RIGHT! EVERYBODY'S BEEN RIGHT! 290 00:13:42,339 --> 00:13:43,305 FUCK YOU! 291 00:13:43,340 --> 00:13:45,575 AHH! 292 00:13:45,610 --> 00:13:47,711 AAH! 293 00:13:47,746 --> 00:13:49,812 OH! 294 00:13:52,147 --> 00:13:53,113 Man: WHAT HAPPENED HERE? 295 00:13:53,148 --> 00:13:54,615 Second man: AT FIRST, WE THOUGHT THEY WERE NECKING, 296 00:13:54,650 --> 00:13:57,653 BUT THEN THE GUY SAW US AND TOOK OFF RUNNING FOR THE WOODS! 297 00:13:57,688 --> 00:14:00,656 DID YOU SEE HIM? WHAT DID HE LOOK LIKE? 298 00:14:00,691 --> 00:14:02,925 IT WAS DARK. HE DID IT! 299 00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:05,125 HORRIBLE! IT WAS HORRIBLE! 300 00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:06,662 HE WAS TRYING TO SET THE CAR ON FIRE! 301 00:14:06,697 --> 00:14:08,163 IT STINKS OF GAS! NOBODY SMOKE! 302 00:14:08,198 --> 00:14:09,665 DON'T SMOKE! NOBODY SMOKE! 303 00:14:10,165 --> 00:14:10,165 DON'T SMOKE! NOBODY SMOKE! 304 00:14:19,358 --> 00:14:21,609 MR. INGELS! OH, MY GOD. 305 00:14:21,644 --> 00:14:23,646 GET OUT OF HERE, GOD DAMN IT! 306 00:14:23,681 --> 00:14:25,229 OH! 307 00:14:25,264 --> 00:14:26,765 HEY! HEY! JUST GET THAT- 308 00:14:27,266 --> 00:14:28,732 WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU PULLING HERE? 309 00:14:28,767 --> 00:14:30,769 HEY, GIVE ME THAT! THAT'S MY MORPHINE! GIVE ME THAT! 310 00:14:31,770 --> 00:14:33,772 YOU IDIOT! DON'T YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING? 311 00:14:33,807 --> 00:14:35,774 YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A JUNKIE! 312 00:14:35,809 --> 00:14:37,241 TO THINK I ADMIRED YOU. 313 00:14:37,276 --> 00:14:39,278 TO THINK I WANTED TO BE JUST LIKE YOU. 314 00:14:39,778 --> 00:14:40,744 PLEASE. PLEASE, DON'T HURT ME. 315 00:14:40,779 --> 00:14:42,281 YOU KILLED THAT WOMAN TONIGHT, DIDN'T YOU? 316 00:14:42,316 --> 00:14:43,747 NO! NO, NOT ME! 317 00:14:43,782 --> 00:14:45,284 DON'T LIE TO ME, OLD MAN! 318 00:14:45,319 --> 00:14:46,250 YOU KILLED HER! 319 00:14:46,285 --> 00:14:47,251 YOU STINK OF GASOLINE! 320 00:14:47,286 --> 00:14:49,288 YOU TRIED TO SET A FIRE TO COVER IT UP 321 00:14:49,323 --> 00:14:51,255 JUST LIKE THAT OTHER WOMAN 15 YEARS AGO! 322 00:14:51,290 --> 00:14:54,293 NO! NO! I SET THOSE FIRE, BUT I NEVER KILLED- 323 00:14:54,328 --> 00:14:55,794 THEN WHO KILLED HER? WHO KILLED HER? 324 00:14:56,295 --> 00:14:57,754 MORTY! 325 00:14:57,789 --> 00:14:59,214 WHO? 326 00:15:01,216 --> 00:15:02,217 MORTY. 327 00:15:02,685 --> 00:15:02,685 MORTY. 328 00:15:06,188 --> 00:15:09,156 HE HATES WOMEN. 329 00:15:09,191 --> 00:15:10,693 HE'S NEVER BEEN ABLE TO HAVE A WOMAN 330 00:15:10,728 --> 00:15:13,160 IN A NORMAL WAY. 331 00:15:13,195 --> 00:15:15,698 OH, I-I TRY TO STOP HIM, 332 00:15:16,198 --> 00:15:18,200 BUT THERE'S JUST NO REASONING WITH MORTY. 333 00:15:18,235 --> 00:15:19,652 HE'S VERY WILLFUL... 334 00:15:22,121 --> 00:15:24,073 AND VERY PSYCHOTIC. 335 00:15:26,492 --> 00:15:29,995 MR. INGELS, THERE'S, UM, PEOPLE WHO WILL UNDERSTAND, 336 00:15:30,030 --> 00:15:32,998 PEOPLE WHO CAN HELP YOU. 337 00:15:33,033 --> 00:15:34,917 WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? 338 00:15:34,952 --> 00:15:36,717 I'M CRAZY? 339 00:15:36,752 --> 00:15:39,136 SPLIT PERSONALITY? 340 00:15:39,171 --> 00:15:40,556 THAT I HEAR VOICES IN MY HEAD 341 00:15:40,973 --> 00:15:43,700 IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT? 342 00:15:43,735 --> 00:15:46,458 I THINK YOU BETTER GO NOW... 343 00:15:46,493 --> 00:15:49,181 BEFORE MORTY TRIES TO HURT YOU. 344 00:15:49,648 --> 00:15:51,115 MORTY CAN'T HURT ME. 345 00:15:51,150 --> 00:15:54,153 HE-HE'S MADE OF CLOTH AND WOOD, 346 00:15:54,188 --> 00:15:56,203 NOTHING ELSE. 347 00:15:56,238 --> 00:15:58,190 YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING. 348 00:16:00,192 --> 00:16:01,694 I'LL SHOW YOU. 349 00:16:04,196 --> 00:16:06,580 MORTY... 350 00:16:06,615 --> 00:16:08,575 PLEASE. NOT AGAIN. 351 00:16:08,610 --> 00:16:10,501 HE CAN'T HURT ME. 352 00:16:10,536 --> 00:16:12,886 HE'S-HE'S NOT REAL. 353 00:16:12,921 --> 00:16:12,921 HE'S-HE'S NOT REAL. 354 00:16:15,674 --> 00:16:18,177 HE CAN'T DO ANYTHING. HE ISN'T ALIVE. 355 00:16:18,212 --> 00:16:20,010 HE'S JUST A DUMMY. 356 00:16:20,045 --> 00:16:22,047 THEY MANUFACTURED HIM. I'LL PROVE IT TO YOU. 357 00:16:22,082 --> 00:16:22,896 COME HERE, MR. INGLES. 358 00:16:22,931 --> 00:16:24,850 COME OVER HERE. TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. 359 00:16:27,353 --> 00:16:28,319 HE ISN'T REAL. 360 00:16:28,354 --> 00:16:29,855 HE'S CONSTRUCTED OF WOOD AND CLOTH, 361 00:16:29,890 --> 00:16:32,858 SOME WIRES, SOME CABLES. 362 00:16:32,893 --> 00:16:35,361 HE HAS NO MIND... 363 00:16:35,396 --> 00:16:37,188 NO SOUL. 364 00:16:37,223 --> 00:16:38,981 AND NO HEAD. 365 00:16:39,016 --> 00:16:41,483 AAH! 366 00:16:44,486 --> 00:16:45,452 YOU KNOW IT ALL, HUH? 367 00:16:45,487 --> 00:16:46,872 KNOW IT ALL, YOU LITTLE SHIT? 368 00:16:46,907 --> 00:16:48,240 AAH! 369 00:16:51,243 --> 00:16:54,246 GO ON! GO ON! YOU MISSED SOMETHING. 370 00:16:54,281 --> 00:16:56,248 TAKE A LOOK. GO AHEAD. 371 00:16:56,283 --> 00:16:58,250 LOOK! LOOK! 372 00:16:58,751 --> 00:16:59,717 LOOK AT IT! 373 00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:01,218 THAT'S RIGHT, A MASK! 374 00:17:01,253 --> 00:17:02,755 MORTY'S LIKE ME. HE'S REAL! 375 00:17:02,790 --> 00:17:03,604 HE'S FLESH AND BLOOD! 376 00:17:03,639 --> 00:17:07,426 IN FACT, MORTY IS MY BROTHER! 377 00:17:07,461 --> 00:17:08,444 HA HA HA! 378 00:17:08,479 --> 00:17:09,395 MY BROTHER! 379 00:17:09,430 --> 00:17:10,830 YOU SEE HIM? 380 00:17:10,865 --> 00:17:12,231 HERE'S MORTY! 381 00:17:12,731 --> 00:17:13,564 AAH! 382 00:17:13,599 --> 00:17:15,032 WE WERE BORN LIKE THIS. 383 00:17:15,067 --> 00:17:16,033 I GUESS WE WERE MEANT TO BE TWINS, 384 00:17:16,068 --> 00:17:18,086 BUT NATURE CAN WORK IN A CRUEL WAY SOMETIMES. 385 00:17:18,121 --> 00:17:20,105 BUT RATHER THAN GOING THROUGH LIFE AS FREAKS, 386 00:17:20,140 --> 00:17:22,625 WE DECIDED ON A CAREER IN SHOW BUSINESS! 387 00:17:22,660 --> 00:17:25,386 YEAH. WE DECIDED TO PUT OUR HEADS TOGETHER. 388 00:17:25,421 --> 00:17:28,113 THAT'S A JOKE, SON. I DON'T SEE YOU LAUGHING. 389 00:17:28,148 --> 00:17:29,580 HA HA HA! 390 00:17:29,615 --> 00:17:32,201 FOR 15 YEARS, I KEPT HIM DRUGGED UP, 391 00:17:32,236 --> 00:17:33,594 AWAY FROM THE WORLD. 392 00:17:33,629 --> 00:17:34,918 ESPECIALLY THE LADIES. 393 00:17:34,953 --> 00:17:37,372 THEN YOU HAD TO COME ALONG AND STIR THINGS UP! 394 00:17:37,407 --> 00:17:39,723 Morty: GET THE CLEAVER! CUT HIM UP! 395 00:17:39,758 --> 00:17:41,510 YOU EVEN DESTROYED THE LAST OF THE MORPHINE, 396 00:17:41,545 --> 00:17:44,155 THE ONLY THING THAT COULD CALM HIM DOWN. 397 00:17:44,190 --> 00:17:46,729 NOW I CAN'T EVEN STOP HIM! HE'S VERY WILLFUL! 398 00:17:46,764 --> 00:17:49,268 WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? TALK HIM TO DEATH? 399 00:17:49,303 --> 00:17:50,734 SLICE HIM! 400 00:17:50,769 --> 00:17:53,772 UNZIP HIS GUTS! KILL HIM! KILL HIM! 401 00:17:54,273 --> 00:17:55,239 KILL HIM! 402 00:17:55,274 --> 00:17:56,275 STOP IT! HE DOESN'T CONTROL YOU! 403 00:17:56,775 --> 00:17:58,777 YOU'RE THE VENTRILOQUIST! HE'S THE DUMMY! 404 00:17:58,812 --> 00:18:00,744 I'M THE BRAINS OF THIS OUTFIT! 405 00:18:00,779 --> 00:18:02,746 IT WAS MY IDEA TO GO INTO SHOW BIZ. 406 00:18:02,781 --> 00:18:06,785 I DESIGNED THE ACT! I WROTE ALL THE MATERIAL! 407 00:18:06,820 --> 00:18:08,752 I WROTE HIS AD-LIBS! 408 00:18:08,787 --> 00:18:12,256 HE'S JUST A STRAIGHT MAN. I'M THE FUNNY ONE! 409 00:18:12,291 --> 00:18:15,127 YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE BEING STUCK WITH MY BROTHER? 410 00:18:15,162 --> 00:18:18,497 ALL THOSE GORGEOUS BABES FLAUNTING THEMSELVES 411 00:18:18,997 --> 00:18:22,000 AND NOT ABLE TO DO A THING ABOUT IT WITHOUT HIM? 412 00:18:22,035 --> 00:18:24,503 DO IT! CARVE HIM UP! 413 00:18:24,538 --> 00:18:25,469 AAH! 414 00:18:25,504 --> 00:18:28,006 I'M SORRY, BILLY. YOU'RE A NICE KID. 415 00:18:28,041 --> 00:18:29,473 BUT I GOT TO CHOP YOU. 416 00:18:29,508 --> 00:18:31,009 I GOTTA CUT YOU TO STEAMING LITTLE PIECES! 417 00:18:31,510 --> 00:18:33,512 STOP! YOU CAN FIGHT HIM, MR. INGELS! 418 00:18:33,547 --> 00:18:34,978 YOU CAN FIGHT HIM. 419 00:18:35,013 --> 00:18:36,480 HE'LL TELL EVERYBODY ABOUT US! 420 00:18:36,515 --> 00:18:38,517 THEY'LL PUT US AWAY IN A DARK PLACE. 421 00:18:38,552 --> 00:18:41,037 LOCK US UP WITH ALL THE OTHER FREAKS! 422 00:18:41,072 --> 00:18:43,522 NOW, DO IT! CHOP HIS HEAD IN TWO! 423 00:18:43,557 --> 00:18:44,872 KILL HIM! KILL HIM! 424 00:18:44,907 --> 00:18:46,692 GET OUT OF MY HEAD, YOU LITTLE SHIT! 425 00:18:46,727 --> 00:18:47,993 GET OUT OF MY HEAD! 426 00:18:48,028 --> 00:18:49,495 AAH! 427 00:18:50,863 --> 00:18:54,833 AAH! 428 00:18:55,334 --> 00:18:56,835 AAH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 429 00:18:57,336 --> 00:18:59,087 I'M SPLITTING UP THE ACT! 430 00:19:06,929 --> 00:19:08,931 DON'T WORRY, MR. INGELS. YOU'LL BE OK! 431 00:19:08,966 --> 00:19:10,950 IT DOESN'T MATTER, BILLY. 432 00:19:10,985 --> 00:19:12,935 I'M FREE. I'M FINALLY FREE. 433 00:19:13,435 --> 00:19:13,435 I'M FREE. I'M FINALLY FREE. 434 00:19:14,937 --> 00:19:16,939 AU CONTRAIRE, MEIN FR?RE. 435 00:19:16,974 --> 00:19:17,940 AAH! 436 00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:20,442 I'M THE ONE WHO'S FINALLY FREE! 437 00:19:20,477 --> 00:19:21,443 HA HA HA HA HA! 438 00:19:21,478 --> 00:19:22,811 AAH! 439 00:19:23,812 --> 00:19:25,314 AAH! 440 00:19:26,815 --> 00:19:27,316 AAH! 441 00:19:27,816 --> 00:19:27,816 AAH! 442 00:19:29,818 --> 00:19:31,820 BILLY, GET HIM OFF ME! 443 00:19:31,855 --> 00:19:33,280 GET HIM OFF ME! 444 00:19:33,315 --> 00:19:34,706 GET HIM-AAH! 445 00:19:34,741 --> 00:19:36,074 AAH! 446 00:19:37,576 --> 00:19:39,578 AAH! 447 00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:43,549 MR. INGELS! 448 00:19:43,584 --> 00:19:44,550 AAH! 449 00:19:47,553 --> 00:19:49,555 ALL RIGHT, YOU LITTLE FUCKER! 450 00:19:50,055 --> 00:19:53,058 I'M GOING TO PARK YOU IN THE CHEAP FUCKIN' SEATS! 451 00:19:53,093 --> 00:19:56,061 ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT, WHERE ARE YA? 452 00:19:56,096 --> 00:19:58,789 COME ON OUT. WHERE ARE YOU? 453 00:19:58,824 --> 00:20:01,483 GET THE POINT? HA HA HA! 454 00:20:01,984 --> 00:20:03,986 I'M GONNA TURN YOU INTO A GREASY LITTLE SMEAR, 455 00:20:04,021 --> 00:20:05,953 YOU SICK TURD! 456 00:20:05,988 --> 00:20:07,990 WHERE ARE YOU, YOU LITTLE FUCK? 457 00:20:08,025 --> 00:20:08,991 OVER HERE, TURKEY! 458 00:20:10,492 --> 00:20:11,959 WHAT A LOVELY BASTARD. 459 00:20:11,994 --> 00:20:14,997 YOU INBRED FUCKIN' CABBAGE PATCH KID! 460 00:20:15,032 --> 00:20:16,413 YOU'RE A REAL SCHMUCK! 461 00:20:16,448 --> 00:20:19,409 I'M GONNA TURN YOU INTO BRAIN FUCKIN' PIE! 462 00:20:19,444 --> 00:20:22,371 HEY, MOE! HEY, LARRY! WOO WOO WOO WOO! 463 00:20:24,373 --> 00:20:26,375 HEY, BATTER, BATTER, BATTER. 464 00:20:27,376 --> 00:20:28,877 SWING! 465 00:20:28,912 --> 00:20:30,344 OHH! 466 00:20:30,379 --> 00:20:32,756 HEY, UMP. THE BATTER'S BLIND. 467 00:20:32,791 --> 00:20:35,197 THROW THAT BUM OUT OF THE GAME. 468 00:20:35,232 --> 00:20:37,568 GET HIM A DOG. WALK HIM AROUND. 469 00:20:37,603 --> 00:20:40,055 WHY, MY OWN GRANDMOTHER CAN HIT BETTER THAN THAT. 470 00:20:40,090 --> 00:20:42,024 WHAT A MORON! MORON! 471 00:20:42,524 --> 00:20:44,943 THERE'S THE PITCH! BATTER SWINGS! 472 00:20:44,978 --> 00:20:46,945 OHH! AAH! 473 00:20:49,948 --> 00:20:50,914 OH! 474 00:20:50,949 --> 00:20:51,915 HOME RUN! 475 00:20:51,950 --> 00:20:54,453 NO, NOT THE MEAT GRINDER! 476 00:20:54,488 --> 00:20:55,919 OW! 477 00:20:55,954 --> 00:20:57,421 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 478 00:20:57,456 --> 00:20:59,458 I'M MAKIN' AN ASSHOLE CASSEROLE, PAL, 479 00:20:59,958 --> 00:21:02,711 AND YOU'RE THE MAIN INGREDIENT. 480 00:21:02,746 --> 00:21:05,464 OH, JESUS, IT'S KILLING-NO! 481 00:21:05,499 --> 00:21:06,430 WAIT! 482 00:21:06,465 --> 00:21:07,966 WE CAN MAKE A DEAL. 483 00:21:08,001 --> 00:21:09,433 SHUT UP! 484 00:21:09,468 --> 00:21:11,935 YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? 485 00:21:11,970 --> 00:21:13,972 OH, JESUS CHRIST, IT'S KILLING ME. 486 00:21:14,473 --> 00:21:16,475 I'LL DO ANYTHING YOU WANT. 487 00:21:16,510 --> 00:21:17,476 OW! 488 00:21:17,976 --> 00:21:20,979 ANYTHING! ANYTHING! I SWEAR! 489 00:21:21,014 --> 00:21:23,749 ANYTHING? 490 00:21:23,784 --> 00:21:26,485 MMM. MMM. 491 00:21:28,487 --> 00:21:33,442 AND NOW, DIRECT FROM LAS VEGAS, HERE'S MORTY AND BILLY! 492 00:21:33,477 --> 00:21:35,444 IT'S SHOWTIME, FOLKS. 493 00:21:36,945 --> 00:21:39,948 SHE SAYS TO ME, "YOU KNOW A BETTER WAY TO STUDY ASTRONOMY?" 494 00:21:39,983 --> 00:21:41,450 WELL, WHAT DID YOU DO THEN? 495 00:21:41,485 --> 00:21:42,416 WHAT ELSE? 496 00:21:42,451 --> 00:21:44,953 I SHOWED HER MY TELESCOPE, THE BIG ONE! 497 00:21:45,454 --> 00:21:45,454 I SHOWED HER MY TELESCOPE, THE BIG ONE! 498 00:21:46,955 --> 00:21:49,541 I'M TELLING YA. SHE REALLY SAW STARS THAT NIGHT. 499 00:21:51,043 --> 00:21:52,392 HOLD THE PHONE. 500 00:21:52,427 --> 00:21:55,881 LOOK WHAT JUST WALKED IN. 501 00:21:55,916 --> 00:21:59,685 HUBBA HUBBA YEOW! 502 00:22:00,102 --> 00:22:01,568 WHAT A TOMATO. 503 00:22:01,603 --> 00:22:04,071 MORTY, UM, ABOUT THE TELESCOPE, 504 00:22:04,106 --> 00:22:07,109 DID YOU DISCOVER ANY OTHER NEW HEAVENLY BODIES THAT NIGHT? 505 00:22:07,144 --> 00:22:09,879 YOU BET YOUR ASS. FEAST YOUR EYES ON HER. 506 00:22:09,914 --> 00:22:12,614 HEY, BABY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING AFTER THE SHOW? 507 00:22:13,115 --> 00:22:14,116 STICK TO THE MATERIAL, DAMN IT. 508 00:22:14,616 --> 00:22:16,083 FORGET THE MATERIAL. 509 00:22:16,118 --> 00:22:17,119 THAT TOOTS IS MAKING EYES AT ME. 510 00:22:17,619 --> 00:22:18,585 I'M WARNING YOU. 511 00:22:18,620 --> 00:22:21,039 I BET SHE COULD SUCK THE VARNISH OFF A FOOT STOOL. 512 00:22:21,074 --> 00:22:23,006 COULDN'T YA, HONEY? 513 00:22:23,041 --> 00:22:24,543 LOOK, WE HAD AN AGREEMENT! 514 00:22:24,578 --> 00:22:25,544 YOU GET TOP BILLING. 515 00:22:26,044 --> 00:22:27,045 THE LADIES ARE OFF-LIMITS! 516 00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:28,512 NOW, CUT THIS SHIT 517 00:22:28,547 --> 00:22:31,007 OR I'LL SHOVE YOU RIGHT BACK INTO THAT MEAT GRINDER. 518 00:22:31,042 --> 00:22:33,468 I THINK YOU'RE GONNA FIND THAT A LITTLE DIFFICULT, 519 00:22:33,503 --> 00:22:34,987 NOT TO MENTION PAINFUL. 520 00:22:35,022 --> 00:22:36,681 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 521 00:22:36,716 --> 00:22:38,340 RENEGOTIATING OUR DEAL. 522 00:22:38,375 --> 00:22:40,190 AAH! 523 00:22:40,225 --> 00:22:42,978 LET'S GO. COME ON. 524 00:22:43,013 --> 00:22:44,311 AAH! 525 00:22:44,346 --> 00:22:46,598 PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER. 526 00:22:46,633 --> 00:22:49,366 AAH! 527 00:22:49,401 --> 00:22:52,404 TRY TO SCRATCH YOUR ASS NOW, BUSTER. 528 00:22:52,439 --> 00:22:53,870 HA HA HA! 529 00:22:53,905 --> 00:22:56,408 LOOKS LIKE WE'RE STUCK WITH EACH OTHER. 530 00:22:56,443 --> 00:22:57,909 AAH! 531 00:23:00,779 --> 00:23:02,280 WHAT DO YOU SAY, FOLKS? 532 00:23:02,781 --> 00:23:05,784 BILLY DESERVES A BIG HAND, DON'T YOU THINK? 533 00:23:06,701 --> 00:23:07,619 SHEESH! 534 00:23:08,120 --> 00:23:10,355 THE THINGS SOME FOLKS WILL DO 535 00:23:10,390 --> 00:23:12,591 TO GET AHEAD IN SHOW BUSINESS. 536 00:23:13,091 --> 00:23:14,057 OH, WELL. 537 00:23:14,092 --> 00:23:17,546 NEXT TIME SOMEBODY TELLS BILLY HE'S NO DUMMY, 538 00:23:18,046 --> 00:23:20,515 HE CAN SAY, "WANT TO BET?" 539 00:23:21,016 --> 00:23:22,517 AH HA HA HA HA HA HA!