1 00:00:02,086 --> 00:00:05,089 Jesus, I'm raising five kids and I didn't miss last week. 2 00:00:05,215 --> 00:00:06,508 What's your excuse? 3 00:00:06,591 --> 00:00:07,634 (CLATTERING) 4 00:00:07,759 --> 00:00:09,385 (SIGHS) Carl! 5 00:00:09,552 --> 00:00:12,305 I tried to get your drugs, but V has her cabinet locked up. 6 00:00:12,472 --> 00:00:13,681 And she's making me buy them now. 7 00:00:13,848 --> 00:00:16,017 - I may have found a liver. - Really? Where? 8 00:00:16,184 --> 00:00:18,019 Your older sister, Sammi. 9 00:00:18,186 --> 00:00:19,979 A transplant? Oh, Frank. 10 00:00:20,146 --> 00:00:23,316 - I want to give you my liver. - Really? 11 00:00:23,483 --> 00:00:26,194 - You okay? - I could be better. You know, it's... 12 00:00:26,361 --> 00:00:28,363 - Different? - Different, yeah. 13 00:00:28,530 --> 00:00:30,240 The Gallaghers moving up the food chain. 14 00:00:30,406 --> 00:00:32,450 - So when do you plan on doing it? - How do I start? 15 00:00:32,617 --> 00:00:36,037 Bam, you drop trou and expos-ay some sex-ay. 16 00:00:36,204 --> 00:00:37,664 Does this make you cray? 17 00:00:37,830 --> 00:00:39,624 Uh... Um. 18 00:00:39,791 --> 00:00:41,876 So I invited my brother out to dinner with us tonight. 19 00:00:42,043 --> 00:00:45,004 - They have single malt flights. - Oh, no, no, no. Not tonight. 20 00:00:45,171 --> 00:00:47,048 Get it so I can drink vicariously through you. 21 00:00:47,215 --> 00:00:51,135 - Here we go. Almost there, brother. - Right by your right hand. Okay? 22 00:00:51,302 --> 00:00:52,512 Yeah. 23 00:00:55,932 --> 00:00:59,936 I'm not telling him, ever. This did not happen. 24 00:01:00,103 --> 00:01:03,982 Oh, yes it did. And it's gonna happen again, addict. 25 00:01:06,150 --> 00:01:08,278 (THEME MUSIC PLAYS) 26 00:04:20,303 --> 00:04:22,638 You let some dude finger you last night on the L? 27 00:04:22,805 --> 00:04:26,017 You make it sound so filthy. And he's not just any dude. 28 00:04:26,184 --> 00:04:29,520 - No, he's your boyfriend's brother. - I know. 29 00:04:29,687 --> 00:04:32,857 - Your boss's brother. - I know, okay? I can't explain it. 30 00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:35,818 I can. Remember Shawn? Did speedballs in front of Carl? 31 00:04:35,860 --> 00:04:37,111 You stayed with him for what, five months? 32 00:04:37,278 --> 00:04:41,365 And then it was Jason, right? Jason with the anger issues. 33 00:04:41,491 --> 00:04:44,410 I mean, if you consider stabbing a guy for jumping the line 34 00:04:44,494 --> 00:04:46,329 - at the Cracker Barrel an issue. - Yeah, I get it. 35 00:04:46,496 --> 00:04:50,666 And then there was Jimmy Steve. The lying, married car thief. 36 00:04:50,833 --> 00:04:52,919 Fi, this job is a good thing for you. 37 00:04:53,085 --> 00:04:56,255 It was a mistake, okay? It's over. 38 00:04:56,422 --> 00:05:00,176 It better be. I can't be over here Dr. Phil-ing your ass. 39 00:05:00,343 --> 00:05:02,595 - I got to go to the Alibi. - This early? 40 00:05:02,762 --> 00:05:05,515 Yeah, it saves Kev from having to pay Kate overtime. 41 00:05:05,681 --> 00:05:07,433 Is he still freaking out about the babies? 42 00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:10,186 And the bar. Payroll taxes are due next week. 43 00:05:10,353 --> 00:05:12,772 Business license has to be renewed, utilities. 44 00:05:12,939 --> 00:05:15,691 - Has anyone seen my lip gloss? - Well, hi, Debs. 45 00:05:15,858 --> 00:05:17,777 - Carl! - What? 46 00:05:17,944 --> 00:05:20,196 You're supposed to make Liam breakfast. 47 00:05:20,363 --> 00:05:22,323 - It's not my job. - It is your job. 48 00:05:22,490 --> 00:05:26,702 Relax, relax. Here, more nutritious than makeup. 49 00:05:26,869 --> 00:05:30,498 Made a big sale yesterday. Ten thousand units. 50 00:05:30,665 --> 00:05:33,292 "Congrats, Fiona! Great job! We're so proud of you!" 51 00:05:34,627 --> 00:05:35,795 What? 52 00:05:35,837 --> 00:05:37,797 He's still not talking to you. Lunch. 53 00:05:37,964 --> 00:05:42,134 You know, I used to be your sister, not just an ATM. 54 00:05:43,261 --> 00:05:46,597 - I like that top. You look cute. - Not trying to look cute. 55 00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:50,977 - I could walk you to school today. - I'm not in the first grade. 56 00:05:51,143 --> 00:05:52,854 We just haven't talked that much lately. 57 00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:55,022 And maybe that's my fault. I haven't been around as much. 58 00:05:55,231 --> 00:05:58,568 - Yeah, don't you have to get to work? - I can be late. Hey. 59 00:05:58,818 --> 00:06:01,863 Whatever you're going through, guess what? I did too. 60 00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:04,866 Got plenty of time to grow up. It's okay to just be a kid. 61 00:06:08,202 --> 00:06:10,538 - (DOOR CLOSES) - (SIGHS) 62 00:06:13,916 --> 00:06:16,252 Careful you don't pass out with all the blood rushing 63 00:06:16,419 --> 00:06:18,254 from your big head to your little head. 64 00:06:18,462 --> 00:06:20,214 - (BOTH LAUGHING) - Ow... 65 00:06:20,339 --> 00:06:22,925 I was beginning to wonder when I'd get your motor revving. 66 00:06:23,634 --> 00:06:25,761 (CHUCKLING) 67 00:06:26,846 --> 00:06:29,599 Okay, I'm gonna go see if they're ready yet. 68 00:06:30,516 --> 00:06:32,184 (EXHALES) 69 00:06:34,979 --> 00:06:36,606 Um... 70 00:06:38,691 --> 00:06:42,570 How soon do I go under the knife? The transplant. How soon? 71 00:06:42,778 --> 00:06:45,615 Uh, assuming your donor passes the cross match 72 00:06:45,781 --> 00:06:48,034 and oral glucosamine tests without issue, then... 73 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:49,660 She'll pass. She's my daughter. 74 00:06:49,827 --> 00:06:52,705 Then we'll have everything we need from a medical standpoint. 75 00:06:52,872 --> 00:06:54,582 What does that mean? 76 00:06:54,749 --> 00:06:56,751 You don't have health insurance. 77 00:06:56,918 --> 00:06:58,544 That's what the ER is for. 78 00:06:58,711 --> 00:07:00,504 They don't do transplants in the ER. 79 00:07:00,671 --> 00:07:02,423 We're gonna have to put you on a wait list 80 00:07:02,590 --> 00:07:06,010 with one of the few doctors who perform transplants pro bono. 81 00:07:06,177 --> 00:07:08,137 Unfortunately, that list is pretty long. 82 00:07:09,180 --> 00:07:10,932 - Weeks? - More like years. 83 00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:13,684 - Years? - A couple, unless it's dire. 84 00:07:13,851 --> 00:07:17,438 Dire? Well, um, I'm dying. 85 00:07:17,605 --> 00:07:20,399 So are the thousands of others on the pro bono list. 86 00:07:22,860 --> 00:07:24,654 How much? 87 00:07:24,820 --> 00:07:27,365 If I pay for the operation myself, how much? 88 00:07:27,531 --> 00:07:29,867 Transplant surgery is a very complicated procedure 89 00:07:30,034 --> 00:07:32,161 involving more than a dozen specialties 90 00:07:32,328 --> 00:07:34,163 and many different departments of the hospital. 91 00:07:34,330 --> 00:07:35,748 Okay, it's a shakedown. 92 00:07:35,915 --> 00:07:38,250 Our glorious health care system at work. 93 00:07:38,417 --> 00:07:39,919 How much? 94 00:07:40,086 --> 00:07:43,214 All in, 150 grand, give or take 10,000. 95 00:07:43,381 --> 00:07:46,425 Ready. The tests will be done by four. 96 00:07:46,592 --> 00:07:48,844 Come get me, and we'll celebrate. 97 00:07:54,809 --> 00:07:56,477 My daughter and I are very close. 98 00:07:56,602 --> 00:07:58,062 (DOOR CLOSES) 99 00:07:59,689 --> 00:08:01,899 - Three bucks a shot. - Since when? 100 00:08:02,066 --> 00:08:04,568 It ain't our fault you got a herd of kids on the way. 101 00:08:04,735 --> 00:08:06,362 And it's not our fault that Stan 102 00:08:06,445 --> 00:08:08,197 never took care of the asbestos upstairs. 103 00:08:08,364 --> 00:08:09,865 But guess who has to pay for it? 104 00:08:10,032 --> 00:08:11,242 Asbestos isn't so bad. 105 00:08:11,409 --> 00:08:14,203 I got lots of it in the ceiling at my house, and look at me. 106 00:08:14,370 --> 00:08:15,997 VERONICA: Tell that to the city. 107 00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:19,291 If we don't get it removed, they're gonna shut us down. 108 00:08:19,458 --> 00:08:22,795 - Removal company wants six grand. - Might as well be six million. 109 00:08:22,962 --> 00:08:27,425 Fucking candy striper giving a look like I'm a fucking degenerate. 110 00:08:27,591 --> 00:08:30,636 Egyptian royals, Incas, King Arthur, they all kept it in the family. 111 00:08:30,803 --> 00:08:34,015 We probably still would if Oedipus hadn't ruined it for all of us. 112 00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:37,101 So fine, cast the first stone. But let me ask you. 113 00:08:37,268 --> 00:08:40,479 If we all came from just Adam and Eve in the beginning, 114 00:08:40,563 --> 00:08:42,314 well, you do the math. 115 00:08:42,481 --> 00:08:44,692 Frank, can you please keep the nonsense rambling down to a minimum? 116 00:08:44,859 --> 00:08:47,194 Some of us have problems that we're trying to figure out. 117 00:08:47,361 --> 00:08:49,655 When you need 150 grand just to live, 118 00:08:49,822 --> 00:08:51,115 we'll talk about problems. 119 00:08:52,575 --> 00:08:54,952 You could burn your house down for the insurance money. 120 00:08:55,119 --> 00:08:56,370 That's what my Uncle Doris did. 121 00:08:56,537 --> 00:08:58,581 Yeah, and he almost burned down the entire neighborhood. 122 00:08:58,748 --> 00:09:00,207 Too much accelerant. 123 00:09:00,374 --> 00:09:02,752 But they never got the charges to stick. 124 00:09:02,918 --> 00:09:04,879 Jewish lightning. 125 00:09:05,046 --> 00:09:09,175 The most inspired of our Hebrew brethren's contribution to society. 126 00:09:09,341 --> 00:09:10,634 You don't even own the damn house. 127 00:09:10,801 --> 00:09:11,927 What about Sheila's house? 128 00:09:12,094 --> 00:09:15,139 You could split the dough with her. She got insurance? 129 00:09:15,306 --> 00:09:16,932 Yeah. 130 00:09:17,099 --> 00:09:20,478 Yeah, I saw the policy when I was looking for Eddie's will. 131 00:09:20,644 --> 00:09:22,688 Frank, if you're gonna smoke that, at least give me a hit. 132 00:09:22,855 --> 00:09:24,482 She's never gonna go for it. 133 00:09:24,648 --> 00:09:28,194 Well, wait, wait. Who says we have to tell her? 134 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:31,447 Frank, you are not gonna burn down that nice woman's house. 135 00:09:33,657 --> 00:09:37,369 No, not burn down. 136 00:09:37,536 --> 00:09:38,954 She's got liability. 137 00:09:39,121 --> 00:09:42,708 One big accident, and her insurance has to pay up. 138 00:09:45,336 --> 00:09:47,963 - Cartesian dualism. - Descartes. 139 00:09:49,006 --> 00:09:51,175 - Categorical... - Imperative. Kant. 140 00:09:51,342 --> 00:09:53,761 - We're gonna ace this test, bro. - All right. 141 00:09:53,928 --> 00:09:55,096 We got to jet. You ready to go? 142 00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:57,014 I got to grab my pants out of the dryer. 143 00:09:57,181 --> 00:09:59,141 - Right now? - Yeah. I'll be right behind you. 144 00:09:59,225 --> 00:10:00,392 All right. 145 00:10:06,732 --> 00:10:08,442 - Hi. - Hi. 146 00:10:16,492 --> 00:10:18,494 What the fuck? 147 00:10:19,787 --> 00:10:24,083 Yo! You at least leave me some quarters? 148 00:10:24,250 --> 00:10:25,584 Fuck. 149 00:10:36,011 --> 00:10:37,388 Ron? 150 00:10:46,647 --> 00:10:48,399 Hey, Sheila? 151 00:10:52,236 --> 00:10:53,904 Sheila? 152 00:10:55,114 --> 00:10:57,366 (STRAINING) 153 00:11:38,157 --> 00:11:40,201 (GRUNTING) 154 00:11:43,370 --> 00:11:47,750 Cock suck, fuck, motherfuck, fuck, fuck! 155 00:12:08,479 --> 00:12:12,566 - You're disrupting the midterm. - Oh, sorry, I'm a few minutes late. 156 00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:14,318 Six minutes. 157 00:12:14,485 --> 00:12:17,321 Yeah, I know. I just got locked out of my dorm room. 158 00:12:17,488 --> 00:12:19,490 Right, because this chick, she pulled my laundry 159 00:12:19,657 --> 00:12:24,286 out of the dryer early, and my jeans are still wet. 160 00:12:25,621 --> 00:12:29,792 I'm not asking for the time I missed, just the time I have left. 161 00:12:29,959 --> 00:12:32,127 - It doesn't work that way. - Why not? 162 00:12:32,294 --> 00:12:33,671 I'm not gonna argue about this. 163 00:12:33,837 --> 00:12:37,258 Look, I studied my ass off for this test, okay? 164 00:12:37,424 --> 00:12:39,385 Just let me in, and I will prove it to you. 165 00:12:39,551 --> 00:12:40,970 I'm sorry. 166 00:12:41,136 --> 00:12:44,348 Don't be a fucking prick. Just let me take the damn test. 167 00:12:56,777 --> 00:12:57,861 (WOMAN WHIMPERING) 168 00:12:57,987 --> 00:12:59,738 What the fuck is this? 169 00:12:59,822 --> 00:13:01,031 How many blowjobs did you give yesterday? 170 00:13:01,198 --> 00:13:02,283 Ten blowjobs. 171 00:13:02,449 --> 00:13:03,701 - How many tugs? - Five. 172 00:13:03,867 --> 00:13:06,203 That's on top of two guys who shelled out for a belly ride. 173 00:13:06,370 --> 00:13:08,247 You send her home with a measly 200 bucks? 174 00:13:08,414 --> 00:13:10,040 Sasha sets the price. 175 00:13:10,207 --> 00:13:13,502 Well, Sasha needs to find out my wife's a hooker, not a slave. 176 00:13:14,253 --> 00:13:15,421 (WOMAN CHUCKLES) 177 00:13:15,587 --> 00:13:19,425 Okay? Okay. Now this is happening. 178 00:13:19,591 --> 00:13:23,012 Out! Get out! Let's go! 179 00:13:23,178 --> 00:13:24,263 Yes. Put it on and let's go. 180 00:13:24,430 --> 00:13:26,265 Hey, come on, you deserve better than this. 181 00:13:26,432 --> 00:13:28,183 I don't care if you're mid-pump. Come with me. 182 00:13:28,350 --> 00:13:30,561 You want to get paid a little more 183 00:13:30,602 --> 00:13:32,062 for putting a stranger's dick in your mouth? 184 00:13:32,146 --> 00:13:34,565 - Come on, ladies. Move, move. - (OVERLAPPING CHATTER) 185 00:13:34,732 --> 00:13:37,776 You can clean it off later. I don't care if it's sticky. Go! 186 00:13:37,943 --> 00:13:40,738 Come on. Come on, get out. Let's fucking go. 187 00:13:40,904 --> 00:13:45,034 Yes, yes, yes, put that on. Fuck me. Hi, guys. Let's go! 188 00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:47,161 Look at all your happy customers, huh? 189 00:13:47,328 --> 00:13:49,371 No one's getting laid till they get paid. 190 00:13:49,538 --> 00:13:50,998 I tell Sasha. 191 00:13:51,165 --> 00:13:53,083 Yeah, tell him to go fuck himself. 192 00:13:55,002 --> 00:13:57,963 Are you kidding me? This is barely a sprain. 193 00:13:58,130 --> 00:13:59,923 Oh, like you've got a medical degree. 194 00:14:00,090 --> 00:14:02,217 Hey, I handled enough personal liability claims 195 00:14:02,384 --> 00:14:04,553 to know what a six-figure payout looks like. 196 00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:06,305 This is two grand tops. 197 00:14:06,472 --> 00:14:08,140 I need 150. 198 00:14:08,307 --> 00:14:11,560 Well, then you better bring me a mangled femur, or lose an eye. 199 00:14:11,727 --> 00:14:12,853 Better yet, lose both eyes. 200 00:14:13,020 --> 00:14:15,522 You know, you walk in, empty sockets, we got us a winner. 201 00:14:16,940 --> 00:14:18,859 - Jesus, Frank. - What? 202 00:14:20,027 --> 00:14:21,570 Jesus. I'm sorry. 203 00:14:23,447 --> 00:14:26,742 - It does this sometimes. - Would you just go on? Get out. 204 00:14:26,909 --> 00:14:29,244 The hospital needs at least 50,000 down 205 00:14:29,411 --> 00:14:31,663 before they'll even schedule the operation. 206 00:14:31,789 --> 00:14:32,873 They take down payments? 207 00:14:32,998 --> 00:14:35,667 What are they gonna do if you don't pay up the rest, repo the liver? 208 00:14:35,834 --> 00:14:39,254 Lou, I'm dead without this. 209 00:14:39,421 --> 00:14:43,300 Fifty grand? Okay, we're talking, like, partial paralysis. 210 00:14:43,467 --> 00:14:45,761 Burns over at least 30 percent of your body. 211 00:14:45,928 --> 00:14:48,138 Hey, if you don't have the stones to hobble yourself, 212 00:14:48,305 --> 00:14:49,640 find someone who'll do it for you. 213 00:14:50,432 --> 00:14:52,726 (SHOOTING, SHOUTING FROM VIDEO GAME) 214 00:14:55,813 --> 00:14:57,564 You're just the man I'm looking for. 215 00:14:57,731 --> 00:15:00,776 - What happened to you? - I need your help. 216 00:15:00,943 --> 00:15:03,570 Took a hammer to V's stash, stole some pills. They're upstairs. 217 00:15:03,737 --> 00:15:06,657 No, no, no, not that... They're upstairs? 218 00:15:06,824 --> 00:15:08,117 I'll get them later. 219 00:15:14,081 --> 00:15:15,707 I want you to break my leg. 220 00:15:16,208 --> 00:15:17,751 (CHUCKLES) 221 00:15:17,835 --> 00:15:19,503 I need the insurance money. 222 00:15:19,670 --> 00:15:22,131 It's the only way I'll be able to pay for the transplant. 223 00:15:22,297 --> 00:15:24,216 You want me to hurt you? 224 00:15:26,301 --> 00:15:27,511 It's life or death. 225 00:15:29,012 --> 00:15:30,931 If you love me, son, you'll do this. 226 00:15:32,558 --> 00:15:34,017 Can I put it on YouTube? 227 00:15:34,726 --> 00:15:36,311 Sh... 228 00:15:37,771 --> 00:15:39,022 No. 229 00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:42,651 Just one push. 230 00:15:42,818 --> 00:15:44,486 What if I land on my head? 231 00:15:47,698 --> 00:15:50,534 Just stick your leg over the track and let it get run over. 232 00:15:50,701 --> 00:15:54,538 - What about the third rail? - What's a third rail? 233 00:16:02,546 --> 00:16:04,131 Fucking Obamacare. 234 00:16:04,298 --> 00:16:05,674 What kind of a system do we live in? 235 00:16:05,841 --> 00:16:08,218 You have to cripple yourself to stay alive. 236 00:16:08,385 --> 00:16:11,805 - I could get the sledgehammer. - No, that's all right. 237 00:16:11,972 --> 00:16:14,141 Mrs. Jesudian has a table saw. 238 00:16:14,308 --> 00:16:16,935 Forget it. Where are those perk-me-ups? 239 00:16:17,102 --> 00:16:18,479 You said life or death. 240 00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:21,565 Kev has an old lawn mower. It could run over your foot. 241 00:16:21,732 --> 00:16:24,693 You're a good man, son. The pills? 242 00:16:24,860 --> 00:16:26,069 Under the bed. 243 00:16:28,530 --> 00:16:30,157 (FRANK SIGHS) 244 00:16:30,824 --> 00:16:34,077 So, yeah, Matty and I spent the whole night like that, spooning. 245 00:16:34,244 --> 00:16:36,538 You see Billy Fergus? Ellie said he's here. 246 00:16:36,705 --> 00:16:39,458 It was really sweet. He made me breakfast. 247 00:16:39,625 --> 00:16:42,085 Wake me up when you get to the good part. 248 00:16:42,252 --> 00:16:44,379 You clean out your cabbage patch with Purell afterwards? 249 00:16:44,546 --> 00:16:46,215 What? 250 00:16:46,381 --> 00:16:47,674 It keeps you from getting knocked up. 251 00:16:47,841 --> 00:16:50,052 Gets the little swimmers so drunk, they can't find the egg. 252 00:16:50,677 --> 00:16:54,223 Um... No. Well, sex, we didn't have it. 253 00:16:54,389 --> 00:16:57,935 - Matt said that we should... - I got your frappucino, Holly. 254 00:16:58,101 --> 00:16:59,478 It better be caramel. 255 00:17:01,188 --> 00:17:02,773 Okay, go. 256 00:17:03,857 --> 00:17:06,401 - Who's that? - Sam? Seth? 257 00:17:06,568 --> 00:17:08,612 Who cares? I tell him what to do, he does it. 258 00:17:08,779 --> 00:17:09,780 Why? 259 00:17:09,947 --> 00:17:12,324 He thinks I'll maybe give him a quickie in the bathroom. 260 00:17:12,491 --> 00:17:15,452 He's lucky I let him be seen near me. 261 00:17:15,619 --> 00:17:17,746 There's Billy. How do I look? 262 00:17:17,913 --> 00:17:20,332 - Slutty. - Thanks. 263 00:17:20,499 --> 00:17:25,504 Wait, Holly. Is it bad that Matty said it wasn't the right time? 264 00:17:25,671 --> 00:17:27,756 He said that? "It's not the right time"? 265 00:17:27,923 --> 00:17:29,216 What does it mean? 266 00:17:29,383 --> 00:17:31,468 I don't know. I've never had a guy say that. 267 00:17:38,267 --> 00:17:40,310 Yeah, I know I promised it to you. 268 00:17:40,477 --> 00:17:43,146 Look, I'm gonna get you your money. 269 00:17:43,272 --> 00:17:44,523 (PHONE RECEIVER CLATTERS) 270 00:17:44,648 --> 00:17:45,816 Liquor distributor? 271 00:17:45,983 --> 00:17:49,778 No, it's Stan's son asking for his monthly $500 that I don't have 272 00:17:49,945 --> 00:17:51,488 for a bar that's in the black. 273 00:17:51,655 --> 00:17:54,283 Or the red, or whatever one it is where you're totally fucked! 274 00:17:54,449 --> 00:17:56,159 Are you gonna pay for something else? 275 00:17:56,326 --> 00:17:58,120 - Trying to get me drunk? - You're already drunk. 276 00:17:58,287 --> 00:17:59,746 I got bills. Pay for something. 277 00:17:59,913 --> 00:18:02,583 Hey, line up a shot for the Abe Lincoln of mouth whores. 278 00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:03,792 Excuse me? 279 00:18:03,959 --> 00:18:06,336 I emancipated my wife and her fellow cum guzzlers. 280 00:18:06,503 --> 00:18:08,880 Gonna do to the Russians what they've been doing to my girls. 281 00:18:09,047 --> 00:18:11,008 - Bring them to their knees. - MAN: Why? 282 00:18:11,174 --> 00:18:13,051 Your wife wouldn't even be in this country 283 00:18:13,218 --> 00:18:15,470 if the Russians hadn't smuggled her in originally. 284 00:18:15,637 --> 00:18:17,598 That gives them the right to pay her next to nothing, huh? 285 00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:19,266 We're thirsty. 286 00:18:19,433 --> 00:18:21,518 Good thing there's a sink in the fucking bathroom, huh? 287 00:18:21,643 --> 00:18:23,228 (SPEAKS RUSSIAN) 288 00:18:25,272 --> 00:18:28,317 - Well, how do they get away with it? - Get away with what? 289 00:18:28,483 --> 00:18:30,152 Forcing them to work for so cheap. 290 00:18:30,319 --> 00:18:32,529 Guns and beatings, mostly. 291 00:18:32,696 --> 00:18:34,698 I mean, look, what choice do they have? They got no ID. 292 00:18:34,865 --> 00:18:37,326 They barely speak the language. They're fresh off the boat. 293 00:18:37,492 --> 00:18:40,454 Sasha can pay them whatever the fuck he wants. 294 00:18:40,621 --> 00:18:43,457 Not anymore. Now they got me. 295 00:18:47,544 --> 00:18:49,421 - I'll be right back. - Where are you going? 296 00:18:49,588 --> 00:18:52,507 I'm gonna... pick something up from the Home Depot. 297 00:18:52,674 --> 00:18:53,925 - Now? - (PHONE RINGING) 298 00:18:55,719 --> 00:18:57,721 (SPEAKING RUSSIAN) 299 00:18:57,971 --> 00:18:59,056 Sasha wants meeting. 300 00:18:59,222 --> 00:19:01,099 What did I tell you, huh? 301 00:19:01,266 --> 00:19:03,352 Russians waving the white flag already. 302 00:19:03,518 --> 00:19:05,437 You do know what happened to Lincoln in the end, right? 303 00:19:05,604 --> 00:19:07,648 You kidding? I could barely get through the opening credits. 304 00:19:15,197 --> 00:19:17,032 (PHONE RINGING) 305 00:19:19,910 --> 00:19:21,203 Okay. 306 00:19:21,370 --> 00:19:23,705 - You knew you had a test? - Yes, but I got locked out of my... 307 00:19:23,872 --> 00:19:25,040 A midterm? 308 00:19:25,207 --> 00:19:27,167 Yeah, yeah. I was only a few minutes late. 309 00:19:27,334 --> 00:19:30,587 And you knew what time the midterm was scheduled to begin? 310 00:19:30,754 --> 00:19:32,214 Yeah. 311 00:19:32,381 --> 00:19:34,716 Yet you weren't there on time. 312 00:19:34,883 --> 00:19:36,718 I think that's been established. 313 00:19:38,512 --> 00:19:39,721 And everyone else was? 314 00:19:40,806 --> 00:19:43,183 I don't know. I didn't count heads. 315 00:19:45,644 --> 00:19:49,272 Look, um, I just want a chance to take the test. 316 00:19:49,439 --> 00:19:51,775 You can take ten points off, whatever you have to do. 317 00:19:51,942 --> 00:19:55,070 It really wasn't my fault that I was late. 318 00:19:55,237 --> 00:19:58,407 Okay. I mean, stuff just happens sometimes, right? 319 00:20:00,492 --> 00:20:01,785 Okay, listen, you know, 320 00:20:01,952 --> 00:20:04,996 what if a student needed CPR or was choking, 321 00:20:05,163 --> 00:20:08,208 and I stopped to save his life? I mean, what then? 322 00:20:09,292 --> 00:20:11,586 Well, instead of some hypothetical dying student, 323 00:20:11,753 --> 00:20:14,506 I'd suggest we consider a live one. 324 00:20:14,673 --> 00:20:17,676 - Jay Santos. - Who? 325 00:20:17,843 --> 00:20:19,803 Runner up for the Glind Scholarship you received 326 00:20:19,970 --> 00:20:22,514 that allowed you to attend this university. 327 00:20:22,681 --> 00:20:25,475 I don't know where Jay Santos is, but if he were here, 328 00:20:25,642 --> 00:20:27,477 I'm sure of one thing. 329 00:20:27,644 --> 00:20:29,396 He would've been on time for his midterm. 330 00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:33,066 Think of this as a learning experience, Philip. 331 00:20:33,233 --> 00:20:37,237 Things do happen, so we have to anticipate that they might. 332 00:20:37,404 --> 00:20:39,573 I'm sure next test, you'll leave plenty of extra time 333 00:20:39,740 --> 00:20:41,491 and arrive early. 334 00:21:14,608 --> 00:21:16,693 (ALARM BLARING) 335 00:21:16,902 --> 00:21:18,195 (SHOUTS) 336 00:21:28,246 --> 00:21:29,414 Hey! 337 00:21:34,586 --> 00:21:35,921 Hey! 338 00:21:40,383 --> 00:21:42,135 (PEOPLE SHOUTING) 339 00:21:54,648 --> 00:21:55,982 Come on! 340 00:22:14,709 --> 00:22:17,587 (PANTING) 341 00:22:28,640 --> 00:22:30,058 (SHOUTING FROM OUTSIDE) 342 00:22:31,601 --> 00:22:33,353 (COCKS GUN) 343 00:22:33,478 --> 00:22:35,438 (TRUCK REVERSE BEEPING) 344 00:22:39,067 --> 00:22:41,194 (WOMAN SPEAKING RUSSIAN) 345 00:22:45,323 --> 00:22:46,783 - Sasha. - Huh? 346 00:22:47,909 --> 00:22:49,953 - Oh. - Wait, you're Sasha? 347 00:22:50,120 --> 00:22:53,081 You are smaller than I thought you would be. Hmm. 348 00:22:53,248 --> 00:22:55,166 Ditto. 349 00:22:56,877 --> 00:23:00,422 Okay, look, it's 20 percent raise on bumping uglies, 30 percent on BJs, 350 00:23:00,589 --> 00:23:02,382 and whatever happens in the ass stays in the ass. 351 00:23:02,549 --> 00:23:04,050 I don't know what that means. 352 00:23:04,217 --> 00:23:07,095 That means the ladies pocket tips for extras, not you. 353 00:23:07,304 --> 00:23:09,806 Hmm. You a tough negotiator? 354 00:23:09,973 --> 00:23:11,224 You need girls. 355 00:23:11,391 --> 00:23:12,893 True. 356 00:23:13,059 --> 00:23:15,228 Hey... (SPEAKING RUSSIAN) 357 00:23:19,524 --> 00:23:22,903 They grew up near Chernobyl, so got a discount. 358 00:23:26,239 --> 00:23:27,240 Come on. 359 00:23:28,283 --> 00:23:29,576 I'm flexible on those numbers. 360 00:23:29,743 --> 00:23:31,995 Your girls are tired and stretched out. 361 00:23:32,162 --> 00:23:33,496 Go fuck yourself. 362 00:23:38,460 --> 00:23:39,753 Hi. 363 00:23:42,631 --> 00:23:44,674 - Big birthday coming up. - (GASPS) 364 00:23:44,841 --> 00:23:45,884 You remembered. 365 00:23:46,009 --> 00:23:48,845 Well, you put it in my calendar. Huge letters, double underline. 366 00:23:49,012 --> 00:23:51,014 What do you want to do to celebrate? 367 00:23:51,181 --> 00:23:52,849 I was thinking of low keying it this year. 368 00:23:53,016 --> 00:23:54,643 Really? For the big 3-0? 369 00:23:54,809 --> 00:23:56,144 (LAUGHING) Asshole. 370 00:23:56,311 --> 00:23:57,312 4-0? 371 00:23:57,479 --> 00:24:00,774 Said the boyfriend who apparently never wants to get laid again. 372 00:24:02,150 --> 00:24:03,777 - What's he doing here? - What else? 373 00:24:03,944 --> 00:24:06,821 He's putting his greatest talent to work. 374 00:24:06,988 --> 00:24:10,075 - Which is? - Weaseling money out of my dad. 375 00:24:10,241 --> 00:24:12,994 - So birthday. - (CELL PHONE CHIMES) 376 00:24:16,331 --> 00:24:18,667 Uh, sorry, what? 377 00:24:18,833 --> 00:24:21,544 MIKE: I mean, I could jump out of a cake in nothing but a thong. 378 00:24:23,964 --> 00:24:26,257 Sorry, it's one of the kids. 379 00:24:26,424 --> 00:24:30,428 - Everything okay? - Yeah, I just... 380 00:24:30,595 --> 00:24:33,556 I'll let you deal with whatever's going down at Chez Gallagher. 381 00:24:33,723 --> 00:24:36,226 Let me know what you wanna do, and we'll make it happen. 382 00:24:36,393 --> 00:24:38,645 All right. 383 00:24:42,983 --> 00:24:44,234 Hey. 384 00:24:50,991 --> 00:24:53,660 Right in here. Here we go, guys. 385 00:24:55,996 --> 00:24:58,873 - Who are they? - Told you, had to run an errand. 386 00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:00,792 This is what you picked up at Home Depot? 387 00:25:00,959 --> 00:25:04,254 Mickey's not as dumb as he looks. Illegals are desperate for work. 388 00:25:04,421 --> 00:25:07,716 And a few bucks is a fortune for these guys. It's a win-win. 389 00:25:07,882 --> 00:25:10,844 - What's your name again? Nombre? - Mi nombre? Paco. 390 00:25:11,011 --> 00:25:13,888 Paco, get behind the bar. Grab a mop, okay? 391 00:25:14,055 --> 00:25:16,683 You two, come with me. 392 00:25:16,850 --> 00:25:20,729 You guys know what asbestos is? Good. Come on. 393 00:25:20,895 --> 00:25:23,481 - (OVERLAPPING CHATTER) - Tell them to shut the fuck up! 394 00:25:23,648 --> 00:25:24,941 You take jobs away! 395 00:25:25,066 --> 00:25:26,901 Yeah, I know. And I will think of something! 396 00:25:27,068 --> 00:25:29,279 They say you are stupid, fucking idiot! 397 00:25:29,446 --> 00:25:32,157 - Well, what did you say back? - That you also have small dick! 398 00:25:33,241 --> 00:25:37,120 Jesus Christ, what happened to a man's home being his fucking castle? 399 00:25:37,287 --> 00:25:40,957 Three things. This is my home. You do have a small dick. 400 00:25:41,124 --> 00:25:43,251 And you started this all because you thought your wife 401 00:25:43,418 --> 00:25:45,462 is worth more than a couple of bucks a lay. 402 00:25:45,628 --> 00:25:47,672 Let me tell you from experience. She's not. 403 00:25:47,797 --> 00:25:49,632 (YELLING IN RUSSIAN) 404 00:25:49,758 --> 00:25:53,344 I don't know what the fuck you're saying! Oh, my God! 405 00:25:53,511 --> 00:25:55,013 I don't know what that means! 406 00:25:55,180 --> 00:25:58,558 Look, don't worry! We'll get a dick in you as soon as we can! 407 00:25:58,725 --> 00:26:00,060 Fuck. 408 00:26:01,728 --> 00:26:03,063 Hi. 409 00:26:04,230 --> 00:26:06,274 Uh, is Mandy home? 410 00:26:07,609 --> 00:26:10,612 - Dad? Dad? - FRANK: Yeah, yeah, yeah. 411 00:26:10,779 --> 00:26:13,448 You seen my happy pills? I can't find them anywhere. 412 00:26:13,615 --> 00:26:15,533 Look what I got. 413 00:26:15,700 --> 00:26:17,243 Bullitt? 414 00:26:17,410 --> 00:26:19,996 Stole it from the store while the checkout guy was huffing out back. 415 00:26:20,163 --> 00:26:21,623 You said it was your favorite. 416 00:26:21,790 --> 00:26:27,253 Two keys to cinematic gold. Steve McQueen and fast cars. 417 00:26:27,420 --> 00:26:30,673 You know, people said I resembled him as a young man. 418 00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:34,052 Get comfortable. I heated you up some soup. 419 00:26:34,219 --> 00:26:37,931 You really know how to take care of your old man. 420 00:26:38,098 --> 00:26:39,849 Thank you, son. 421 00:26:47,607 --> 00:26:51,111 - FRANK: Carl, what are you doing? - Almost ready. Just killing a roach. 422 00:26:52,987 --> 00:26:54,322 Big fucking roach. 423 00:27:01,204 --> 00:27:04,124 - (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING) - He's so nice and I really like him. 424 00:27:04,290 --> 00:27:06,251 I think it's time we take it to the next level. 425 00:27:06,417 --> 00:27:08,628 - How old are you now? - Thirteen. 426 00:27:08,795 --> 00:27:10,046 What took you so long? 427 00:27:10,213 --> 00:27:12,674 This is why I came to you. You get it. 428 00:27:12,841 --> 00:27:14,676 Fiona wants me to stay a little girl forever. 429 00:27:14,843 --> 00:27:16,386 So, what's stopping you? 430 00:27:16,553 --> 00:27:19,180 He said he wasn't ready. What does that mean? 431 00:27:19,347 --> 00:27:20,390 He's older? 432 00:27:20,598 --> 00:27:22,809 - Mm-hm, he's 20. - Wow. 433 00:27:22,976 --> 00:27:25,645 - Thanks. - He doesn't wanna get in trouble. 434 00:27:25,812 --> 00:27:27,355 He needs to know that you're totally cool with it 435 00:27:27,522 --> 00:27:29,065 and won't go running to the cops afterwards. 436 00:27:29,232 --> 00:27:31,609 - The cops? - Statutory rape. 437 00:27:31,776 --> 00:27:33,611 Some old school shit left over 438 00:27:33,778 --> 00:27:36,239 from when women wore corsets and didn't carry mace. 439 00:27:37,073 --> 00:27:40,076 - Hmm? - Sure you're ready? 440 00:27:40,243 --> 00:27:43,288 - So let him know. - But how? 441 00:27:43,454 --> 00:27:47,375 - Hey, babe, I'm out. - Watch. 442 00:27:49,544 --> 00:27:52,714 Oh, again? I'm gonna be late for work. 443 00:27:52,881 --> 00:27:54,966 Oh, come on, girl. 444 00:27:56,092 --> 00:27:58,303 It's okay. I don't think I'd be able to do that. 445 00:27:58,469 --> 00:28:02,432 - So just send him a selfie. - A selfie? 446 00:28:02,599 --> 00:28:06,269 You know, a picture? 447 00:28:08,771 --> 00:28:10,315 Okay. (CHUCKLES) 448 00:29:14,337 --> 00:29:16,798 (SCREAMING) 449 00:29:21,094 --> 00:29:25,056 - What do you think you're doing? - Making ramen. Want some? 450 00:29:25,223 --> 00:29:28,434 - I told you to stop texting me. - Did you? 451 00:29:28,643 --> 00:29:32,563 Uh-huh. What part of stop do you not understand? 452 00:29:33,398 --> 00:29:35,108 What are you doing here? 453 00:29:35,275 --> 00:29:38,611 Trying to get it through your thick skull that this is over. 454 00:29:39,487 --> 00:29:41,823 - Is it? - Yes. 455 00:29:42,991 --> 00:29:46,911 Well, I mean, you could've... (CLEARS THROAT) 456 00:29:47,161 --> 00:29:50,873 You could've called, or texted. 457 00:29:53,251 --> 00:29:55,795 Or used Facebook. 458 00:30:01,759 --> 00:30:05,471 - I'm not on Facebook. - No? 459 00:30:46,846 --> 00:30:48,389 (KNOCKING) 460 00:30:48,514 --> 00:30:50,850 MIKE: Yo, Robbie, it's me. 461 00:30:52,060 --> 00:30:54,520 - Did you know he was coming over? - No. 462 00:30:54,687 --> 00:30:56,689 MIKE: I hear you moving around in there. Come on, open up. 463 00:30:56,856 --> 00:31:00,943 Oh, my God. What are you doing? 464 00:31:01,110 --> 00:31:04,697 - Mike's at the door. - Oh, well, don't answer it. 465 00:31:06,866 --> 00:31:08,534 - MIKE: Robbie. - Coming! 466 00:31:11,579 --> 00:31:13,623 (DOOR OPENING) 467 00:31:18,086 --> 00:31:19,295 - Hey. - Hey. 468 00:31:19,462 --> 00:31:20,713 Were you in the neighborhood? 469 00:31:20,880 --> 00:31:22,590 Yeah, sorry. I probably should have called. 470 00:31:22,757 --> 00:31:25,176 That's all right. 471 00:31:25,343 --> 00:31:26,969 What's up? 472 00:31:27,762 --> 00:31:29,597 Wanted to know what you went and saw Dad about today. 473 00:31:29,764 --> 00:31:31,682 None of your damn business. 474 00:31:31,849 --> 00:31:33,976 How much you ask him for, Robbie? 475 00:31:34,143 --> 00:31:37,188 Can I get you a drink? Let me get you a drink. 476 00:31:37,355 --> 00:31:39,649 You know the money he gives you comes right out of the company 477 00:31:39,816 --> 00:31:42,151 that I bust my ass to make profitable? 478 00:31:42,318 --> 00:31:43,528 That makes it my business. 479 00:31:43,694 --> 00:31:45,238 I got a Red Bull and a half a Sprite, 480 00:31:45,405 --> 00:31:46,864 but I can't vouch for how long it's been in there. 481 00:31:47,031 --> 00:31:49,700 Dad takes the money he gives you out of his retirement account. 482 00:31:49,867 --> 00:31:53,162 - Got water, but not the fancy kind. - Whatever's fine, I don't care. 483 00:31:53,329 --> 00:31:55,456 Well, you sure you just don't want to look in the fridge? 484 00:31:55,623 --> 00:31:58,793 - All right, that's fine. - Oh, wait. Got a bottle. 485 00:31:58,960 --> 00:32:00,586 Bubbles. I know what you like, right? 486 00:32:01,671 --> 00:32:04,132 Listen, I know you think that they're rich, 487 00:32:04,298 --> 00:32:07,176 but they don't have nearly as much as you think they do. 488 00:32:14,600 --> 00:32:16,060 Hey. 489 00:32:19,522 --> 00:32:22,817 - You look good. - Yeah, my boyfriend thinks so. 490 00:32:22,984 --> 00:32:25,862 - Boyfriend, huh? - What are you doing here? 491 00:32:27,363 --> 00:32:28,698 Just saying hi. 492 00:32:30,950 --> 00:32:33,953 You know I smashed up a bunch of car windows at school today? 493 00:32:35,413 --> 00:32:39,208 - Hammer? - No, it was a pipe bender, actually. 494 00:32:39,375 --> 00:32:44,964 Got chased by the cops. Well, campus security, but still... 495 00:32:45,131 --> 00:32:47,717 - Did they catch you? - What do you think? 496 00:32:49,051 --> 00:32:52,722 Anyway, it made me think of you. 497 00:32:52,889 --> 00:32:55,766 Random destruction makes you think of me? 498 00:32:55,933 --> 00:33:00,521 Yeah, it was, uh... It was beautiful. 499 00:33:03,858 --> 00:33:05,193 What do you want? 500 00:33:06,903 --> 00:33:08,738 I don't know. I, um... 501 00:33:10,114 --> 00:33:12,325 I almost called you a couple of times. 502 00:33:12,492 --> 00:33:15,870 I figured you were doing your own thing. 503 00:33:17,580 --> 00:33:19,123 I just missed you. 504 00:33:22,877 --> 00:33:24,629 Is your boyfriend here? 505 00:33:29,926 --> 00:33:32,178 Hey, who are all those chicks in your living room? 506 00:33:32,345 --> 00:33:34,222 - Hookers. - Hookers? 507 00:33:34,388 --> 00:33:37,642 - Mickey's wife. Long story. - Okay. 508 00:33:46,734 --> 00:33:48,694 (BOTH GRUNTING) 509 00:33:51,739 --> 00:33:54,408 Man, I almost forgot how good this feels. 510 00:33:57,119 --> 00:33:58,955 Oh, God. 511 00:34:00,623 --> 00:34:01,999 (GRUNTS) 512 00:34:06,712 --> 00:34:08,381 (PANTING) 513 00:34:11,384 --> 00:34:13,010 Shit. (CHUCKLES) 514 00:34:13,219 --> 00:34:17,056 Sorry. I didn't mean for that to be a sprint. 515 00:34:17,223 --> 00:34:20,184 Not getting any from the white bread sorority sluts? 516 00:34:20,351 --> 00:34:22,311 It's not the same. 517 00:34:25,606 --> 00:34:27,900 You got any cash on you? 518 00:34:28,067 --> 00:34:30,236 Yeah, yeah. There might be something down there. 519 00:34:30,403 --> 00:34:31,737 I don't know, I'm not exactly raking it 520 00:34:31,904 --> 00:34:33,823 in bussing dishes at the student union. 521 00:34:33,990 --> 00:34:36,033 Yeah, I need the morning-after pill. 522 00:34:37,785 --> 00:34:39,120 Or not. 523 00:34:39,245 --> 00:34:41,080 I think I'm ovulating. My tits are sore. 524 00:34:42,081 --> 00:34:44,083 I could have just used one of those condoms. 525 00:34:44,250 --> 00:34:46,836 The Kenyatta's Trojan Magnums would have slipped right off 526 00:34:47,003 --> 00:34:48,212 of your skinny, little, white Johnson. 527 00:34:48,379 --> 00:34:49,964 Ouch. Harsh. 528 00:34:51,048 --> 00:34:54,510 - Six bucks? - Yeah. 529 00:34:54,677 --> 00:34:58,431 So skip the pill. 530 00:34:58,598 --> 00:35:01,392 Fuck you. You know how much an abortion costs now? 531 00:35:01,559 --> 00:35:03,477 No, roll the dice. 532 00:35:03,644 --> 00:35:05,563 You know, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world, 533 00:35:06,647 --> 00:35:09,400 having a little ghetto rug rat running around. 534 00:35:11,110 --> 00:35:15,406 - That's not funny. - I'm serious. 535 00:35:17,408 --> 00:35:20,161 Yeah, that's just what I need. Raising your bastard kid in the hood 536 00:35:20,328 --> 00:35:23,372 while you bang co-eds in the back of a robotics lab. 537 00:35:24,498 --> 00:35:27,418 Not gonna be any co-eds or any robotics lab. 538 00:35:27,585 --> 00:35:29,128 Why? 539 00:35:29,295 --> 00:35:33,758 Well, the place is bullshit. 540 00:35:34,884 --> 00:35:37,053 It's just like I said it would be. 541 00:35:37,219 --> 00:35:38,721 - I'm bailing. - You're quitting? 542 00:35:38,888 --> 00:35:41,641 You know how hard I worked to get you in there? 543 00:35:41,807 --> 00:35:42,808 Then you go. 544 00:35:42,975 --> 00:35:46,687 I don't think they'd accept my 1 .2 GPA. 545 00:35:46,854 --> 00:35:50,232 - You can't just bail. - Drop it, okay? 546 00:35:50,399 --> 00:35:52,318 You came to me, asshole. 547 00:35:52,485 --> 00:35:55,905 Look, I'm sorry, all right? I felt like shit. 548 00:35:56,072 --> 00:35:58,908 I thought this would be fun, not an interrogation. 549 00:36:00,284 --> 00:36:02,328 So what, whenever you feel like shit or wanna quit, 550 00:36:02,495 --> 00:36:05,373 you figure you're gonna hop on the L and come and knock me up? 551 00:36:05,539 --> 00:36:09,293 That was my mistake. It won't happen again. 552 00:36:11,462 --> 00:36:13,547 - Shithead. - Skank. 553 00:36:48,457 --> 00:36:51,877 - You know, I hate being the bad guy. - But you're so good at it. 554 00:36:52,002 --> 00:36:54,672 All right, think about what I said, yeah? 555 00:36:54,839 --> 00:36:56,799 - Mm-hm. - All right. Thanks. 556 00:36:59,385 --> 00:37:02,513 - You serious? Come on. - All right. Bye. 557 00:37:02,680 --> 00:37:04,682 - Later. - Later. 558 00:37:07,435 --> 00:37:11,272 - You're a motherfucker. - Wanna pick up where we left off? 559 00:37:11,439 --> 00:37:14,942 - What is wrong with you? - I didn't ask him to come over. 560 00:37:15,109 --> 00:37:16,777 Plus, you got off on it as much as I did. 561 00:37:16,944 --> 00:37:20,030 - Excuse me? - Game recognizes game. 562 00:37:20,197 --> 00:37:21,824 We're nothing alike. 563 00:37:21,991 --> 00:37:24,660 - (CELL PHONE RINGING) - Hold on. 564 00:37:26,829 --> 00:37:29,290 Oh, you mind if I take this? It's my girlfriend. 565 00:37:31,792 --> 00:37:35,588 Don't ever come near me again. 566 00:37:48,684 --> 00:37:50,144 (CAR ALARM CHIRPS) 567 00:37:55,941 --> 00:37:57,193 (SIGHS) 568 00:38:03,407 --> 00:38:05,117 (SCREAMING) 569 00:38:05,284 --> 00:38:09,330 - What the fuck did you do to me? - I saved your life. 570 00:39:14,770 --> 00:39:15,896 (CELL PHONE CHIMES) 571 00:39:22,528 --> 00:39:23,946 (CELL PHONE CHIMES) 572 00:39:29,159 --> 00:39:33,998 (WHIMPERING) Oh, Jesus! 573 00:39:34,164 --> 00:39:38,377 - Ready? - Wait, wait. Okay. 574 00:39:38,502 --> 00:39:41,005 (SCREAMING) 575 00:39:41,213 --> 00:39:44,717 Oh, God. Fuck. God. 576 00:39:47,011 --> 00:39:49,805 - Help! Help! Someone, please, help! - Oh, God. 577 00:39:49,972 --> 00:39:53,434 - My dad's fallen. He can't get up! - Oh, my God. 578 00:39:53,559 --> 00:39:56,312 (COUGHING) 579 00:39:56,520 --> 00:39:59,899 No, it's okay, it's okay. Just get it out. Get it out. 580 00:40:00,983 --> 00:40:02,234 - Hey! - Hey, man. 581 00:40:02,401 --> 00:40:04,236 - Look who it is! Lip! - How you doing? 582 00:40:04,403 --> 00:40:06,906 How you doing, man? Straight from the ivory tower. 583 00:40:07,072 --> 00:40:08,324 - Nice shiner. - Oh, yeah. Yeah. 584 00:40:08,490 --> 00:40:10,117 What, a professor clock you for being a smart ass? 585 00:40:10,284 --> 00:40:12,411 Oh, no. I got in a fight. I could use a beer. 586 00:40:12,578 --> 00:40:15,164 Yeah, yeah, and an ice pack. Take a seat. 587 00:40:17,458 --> 00:40:19,960 (KNOCKING) 588 00:40:20,127 --> 00:40:22,338 MATTY: Oh, the door's open. 589 00:40:26,383 --> 00:40:29,178 - I'll be out in a sec. - Okay. 590 00:40:36,268 --> 00:40:39,229 Hey, you. How you doing? 591 00:40:39,396 --> 00:40:43,692 Oh, Debbie, Debbie, Debbie. Debbie, stop. Stop. 592 00:40:45,110 --> 00:40:49,114 - Am I not doing it right? - No, what? What has gotten into you? 593 00:40:50,908 --> 00:40:53,702 Why did you ask me over? I thought you liked the picture. 594 00:40:53,869 --> 00:40:55,412 I mean, I deleted it. 595 00:40:58,290 --> 00:41:00,501 Well, why? 596 00:41:01,543 --> 00:41:05,923 Debbie, you're awesome. I have a great time with you, but... 597 00:41:06,090 --> 00:41:08,592 No, no, it's okay. I'm not gonna run to the cops. 598 00:41:08,759 --> 00:41:13,389 Yeah, this isn't about the cops. Maybe a little, but it's you. 599 00:41:14,556 --> 00:41:18,060 No. That came out wrong. 600 00:41:24,650 --> 00:41:28,696 - Don't you want to? - Sure, yeah. Yeah, someday. 601 00:41:28,862 --> 00:41:33,367 - Well, why not now? - Because you're 13. 602 00:41:35,119 --> 00:41:37,788 - So? - You're just too young. 603 00:41:38,831 --> 00:41:41,709 I'm not a little girl. I'm ready. 604 00:41:41,875 --> 00:41:46,588 - I know you think you are, but... - (SCOFFS) 605 00:41:50,134 --> 00:41:55,264 Debbie, Deb, no. Please stay. Deb. 606 00:41:59,810 --> 00:42:01,311 LIP: It's 50 grand a year 607 00:42:01,478 --> 00:42:05,357 for four years of frat parties, you know, intellectual circle jerks, 608 00:42:05,524 --> 00:42:07,818 speed reading 300-year-old novels 609 00:42:07,985 --> 00:42:10,112 that'll be forgotten the second the test is over, 610 00:42:10,279 --> 00:42:11,947 all because, you know, we're told 611 00:42:12,114 --> 00:42:15,034 we can't succeed in the world without a piece of paper. 612 00:42:15,200 --> 00:42:18,871 You know, and it's bullshit. Bill Gates dropped out. Steve Jobs. 613 00:42:19,038 --> 00:42:20,706 That's that center for the Blackhawks? 614 00:42:21,790 --> 00:42:25,294 Yeah, you know, it just all one big collegiate scam. 615 00:42:25,461 --> 00:42:27,546 I'm glad that place didn't turn you into an elitist prick. 616 00:42:27,713 --> 00:42:31,216 No, still a Southside prick like all the rest of you. 617 00:42:31,383 --> 00:42:34,511 Jesus Christ, Russian whores know how to run their mouths 618 00:42:34,636 --> 00:42:37,973 when there ain't some dude's junk jammed in there. 619 00:42:38,515 --> 00:42:40,684 Weren't you supposed to be at college or some shit? 620 00:42:40,851 --> 00:42:42,686 Nope, packing up my Kant and Milton Friedman. 621 00:42:42,853 --> 00:42:45,022 I'm done with all that crap. 622 00:42:47,733 --> 00:42:49,318 Why'd you go over there in the first place? 623 00:42:49,485 --> 00:42:50,986 To tell him to knock it off. 624 00:42:51,153 --> 00:42:53,363 - Could have called. - You're taking his side? 625 00:42:53,530 --> 00:42:56,075 Please, you wanted a hit, you little smack head. 626 00:42:56,241 --> 00:42:58,911 - I did not. - Really? 627 00:42:59,078 --> 00:43:00,204 Did you get that little tingle 628 00:43:00,370 --> 00:43:02,915 when you stepped up to his front door? 629 00:43:03,082 --> 00:43:04,708 Maybe. 630 00:43:04,875 --> 00:43:08,045 What do you want me to say, that I'm self-destructive? 631 00:43:08,212 --> 00:43:11,799 That liars and thieves and addicts turn me on? 632 00:43:11,965 --> 00:43:14,468 That I don't know how to do a normal relationship? 633 00:43:14,635 --> 00:43:16,428 Was that so hard? 634 00:43:18,138 --> 00:43:19,431 The worst part 635 00:43:19,598 --> 00:43:22,226 is I keep checking my phone to see if he's texted. 636 00:43:23,310 --> 00:43:26,396 I mean, what the fuck is wrong with me? 637 00:43:28,899 --> 00:43:31,860 Who the hell broke into my pills? 638 00:43:34,947 --> 00:43:37,199 You were joking, right, about not going back to college? 639 00:43:39,993 --> 00:43:42,538 Serious. I'm done. 640 00:43:42,704 --> 00:43:45,290 I was hoping you were blowing off some steam. 641 00:43:45,457 --> 00:43:48,710 Well, the truth is, it's not only up to me. 642 00:43:48,877 --> 00:43:50,587 My grades suck. 643 00:43:50,754 --> 00:43:52,464 But the only reason I'm going back there 644 00:43:52,631 --> 00:43:54,299 is to pack my shit and split. 645 00:43:54,466 --> 00:43:58,178 - So you quit. Then what? - I'll figure it out. 646 00:43:58,846 --> 00:44:00,097 (SCOFFS) 647 00:44:01,223 --> 00:44:03,559 What? 648 00:44:03,725 --> 00:44:06,353 - Grow a pair. - Excuse me? 649 00:44:06,520 --> 00:44:09,982 You heard me. Tough it out, man. What are you, a pussy? 650 00:44:10,149 --> 00:44:13,026 It's like I said. It's not only up to me. 651 00:44:13,193 --> 00:44:14,987 You're resourceful. You'll figure it out. 652 00:44:15,154 --> 00:44:18,282 Look, Kev, this is the first good day I've had 653 00:44:18,448 --> 00:44:19,658 since I left for that shithole. 654 00:44:19,825 --> 00:44:23,704 Lip, do you want to end up like me? 655 00:44:23,871 --> 00:44:25,080 Clawing for every penny, 656 00:44:25,247 --> 00:44:27,541 praying that you can figure out some way to support your family? 657 00:44:27,708 --> 00:44:29,209 Because that's what I'm going through. 658 00:44:29,376 --> 00:44:31,461 I got bills up to my ass and let me tell you something. 659 00:44:31,628 --> 00:44:32,754 It fucking sucks. 660 00:44:32,921 --> 00:44:35,716 Well, you're resourceful. You'll figure it out. 661 00:44:38,844 --> 00:44:41,638 All right. College is a racket, huh? 662 00:44:41,805 --> 00:44:43,891 Well, guess what? 663 00:44:44,057 --> 00:44:45,851 There's no one better at beating the system than you. 664 00:44:46,018 --> 00:44:49,730 Hell, man, you got them to give you four fucking years for free. 665 00:44:49,897 --> 00:44:51,648 Why don't you get your damn diploma, 666 00:44:51,815 --> 00:44:54,318 spit in their faces and have a fucking future? 667 00:44:54,484 --> 00:44:59,907 Kev, I am trying to drink my beer, enjoy being back home. 668 00:45:00,073 --> 00:45:02,034 This isn't your home. It's where you grew up. 669 00:45:03,660 --> 00:45:04,786 It's not where you're supposed to be. 670 00:45:04,912 --> 00:45:07,831 And what, now you're the arbiter on where everybody's supposed to be? 671 00:45:08,040 --> 00:45:11,585 Yeah, maybe, if I knew what arbiter meant. 672 00:45:11,752 --> 00:45:13,462 I'm getting pretty damn tired of everybody telling me 673 00:45:13,629 --> 00:45:15,422 where I should be and what I should be doing. 674 00:45:15,589 --> 00:45:18,508 Then stop making them have to! Grow the fuck up! 675 00:45:21,386 --> 00:45:23,138 Um... 676 00:45:23,305 --> 00:45:25,182 - Thanks for the beers, Kev. - Yeah, you're welcome. 677 00:45:26,475 --> 00:45:29,353 - GFY. - Yeah, TGIF. 678 00:45:31,355 --> 00:45:32,481 (DOOR CLOSES) 679 00:45:41,740 --> 00:45:43,617 Is Holly here? She's not answering her phone. 680 00:45:43,784 --> 00:45:45,786 She left with some guy. Had a nose ring. 681 00:45:45,953 --> 00:45:47,412 Made him look like a prize bull. 682 00:45:51,917 --> 00:45:53,126 You wanna go somewhere? 683 00:45:54,962 --> 00:45:58,006 - Where? - Bathroom, with me. 684 00:46:00,384 --> 00:46:04,513 - Yes or no? - Okay. 685 00:46:13,563 --> 00:46:17,442 Okay, son, I can take it from here. 686 00:46:19,152 --> 00:46:22,364 Go. Vamanos. Hasta luego. 687 00:46:34,584 --> 00:46:35,961 (KNOCKING) 688 00:46:40,299 --> 00:46:42,592 - Oh, fuck, don't! - Frank? 689 00:46:42,759 --> 00:46:47,139 - It's just me. - (EXHALES) Come on. 690 00:46:51,268 --> 00:46:54,521 - Lights on or off? - Off, please. 691 00:46:56,440 --> 00:47:01,194 - So have you done this before? - Um... Yeah. 692 00:47:01,361 --> 00:47:02,529 - Yeah? - Yeah. 693 00:47:02,696 --> 00:47:04,197 Me, too. 694 00:47:09,578 --> 00:47:13,290 So, uh... how do you want to do it? 695 00:47:14,541 --> 00:47:17,836 Um, however you've done it before. 696 00:47:18,003 --> 00:47:21,882 Okay, or we could do it how you've done it before. 697 00:47:24,718 --> 00:47:28,638 - I'm gonna take my shirt off now. - Cool. 698 00:47:34,269 --> 00:47:36,521 - I'm sorry. - What's wrong? 699 00:47:36,688 --> 00:47:39,608 I can't do this. I can't do this. 700 00:47:40,692 --> 00:47:44,780 That's okay. I think I already did. 701 00:48:10,680 --> 00:48:13,517 Sorry I didn't come get you after your tests. 702 00:48:13,683 --> 00:48:15,769 I had the accident. 703 00:48:15,936 --> 00:48:17,896 When you never came back, I thought maybe you turned out 704 00:48:18,063 --> 00:48:19,731 to be like all the other men in my life. 705 00:48:19,898 --> 00:48:21,316 Not a chance. 706 00:48:23,193 --> 00:48:26,363 - How's the pain? - It's okay. 707 00:48:26,530 --> 00:48:27,864 Now that I'm here with you. 708 00:48:30,325 --> 00:48:32,160 Did they schedule the transplant? 709 00:48:32,327 --> 00:48:36,456 I'll have the money soon as Liberty Mutual cuts the check. 710 00:48:36,665 --> 00:48:39,626 Um... Good news and bad news. 711 00:48:40,544 --> 00:48:42,003 (CHUCKLING) 712 00:48:42,129 --> 00:48:43,880 Okay, good? 713 00:48:44,047 --> 00:48:47,717 I sent Chuckie to the neighbor's so we can be alone tonight. 714 00:48:48,969 --> 00:48:52,597 Great. Uh, what's the bad? 715 00:48:54,015 --> 00:48:57,561 - We're not a match. - What? 716 00:48:57,727 --> 00:49:00,856 The transplant lady said my white blood cells attacked yours. 717 00:49:01,982 --> 00:49:07,446 - Why the fuck did they do that? - Oh, I don't know. I'm so sorry. 718 00:49:07,612 --> 00:49:09,948 - Sorry? What the hell does...? Good does that do me? 719 00:49:10,115 --> 00:49:12,200 I need a liver, not a goddamn apology. 720 00:49:12,367 --> 00:49:14,661 - Frank. - Do you know what I've been through? 721 00:49:14,828 --> 00:49:18,457 I shattered my leg in six places. I stopped drinking. 722 00:49:18,623 --> 00:49:20,250 I know you're disappointed... 723 00:49:20,375 --> 00:49:23,753 Just one small piece of liver, that's all I need. 724 00:49:23,920 --> 00:49:28,425 But no. Thank you, God. Thank you for the cosmic fuck you. 725 00:49:28,592 --> 00:49:31,845 - Even my own daughter isn't a match. - What? 726 00:49:32,012 --> 00:49:33,513 Anything else you wanna throw at me? 727 00:49:33,680 --> 00:49:36,766 How about a flesh-eating virus, huh? Wanna toss that in? 728 00:49:36,933 --> 00:49:38,560 What did you say? 729 00:49:40,437 --> 00:49:43,773 - What? - Your... daughter? 730 00:49:46,276 --> 00:49:49,905 - I didn't say that. - Yes, you did. 731 00:49:51,448 --> 00:49:55,410 No. Oh, fuck it. What's the use? 732 00:49:55,577 --> 00:49:58,413 Hate me now, hate me later, you all hate me eventually. 733 00:49:58,580 --> 00:50:00,874 And for what? What did I ever do to you? 734 00:50:01,041 --> 00:50:03,919 You're my dad? 735 00:50:04,085 --> 00:50:08,423 - I almost put you in my mouth. - I didn't ask you to do that. 736 00:50:08,590 --> 00:50:11,801 You dry-humped my thigh for half an hour yesterday. 737 00:50:11,968 --> 00:50:13,887 Dry-humping is not incest. 738 00:50:17,724 --> 00:50:20,018 - Shit. - Get out. 739 00:50:20,185 --> 00:50:22,604 What are you yelling about? I'm the one not getting a liver. 740 00:50:22,687 --> 00:50:27,150 (PROLONGED SCREAMING) Get out! 741 00:50:27,317 --> 00:50:29,611 Jesus. God Almighty. Okay. 742 00:50:29,778 --> 00:50:34,199 - Get out! Now! Now! - Okay, okay, okay. No, I'm going! 743 00:50:34,366 --> 00:50:38,703 - All right. Jesus! Jesus! - Freak! Fucking sick! 744 00:50:39,246 --> 00:50:40,830 (SCREAMING) 745 00:50:42,541 --> 00:50:44,584 And stay out! 746 00:50:47,212 --> 00:50:48,964 (SPEAKING SPANISH) 747 00:50:49,130 --> 00:50:52,676 You guys all done? Muy bien. Where did you dump the asbestos? 748 00:50:52,842 --> 00:50:55,387 You know what? Don't tell me. It's better that I don't know. 749 00:50:56,846 --> 00:50:59,015 Here you go. One for each of you. 750 00:50:59,182 --> 00:51:01,560 Don't send it all back home, okay? Thanks, amigos. 751 00:51:01,726 --> 00:51:05,146 Hey, Paco, get a round of half shots for my friends here. 752 00:51:05,313 --> 00:51:06,648 Make sure it's half shots, okay? 753 00:51:06,815 --> 00:51:08,275 - Yo, Kev. - Yeah? 754 00:51:08,441 --> 00:51:10,819 - You clean out that apartment yet? - Yeah, just got it cleaned out. 755 00:51:10,986 --> 00:51:12,862 I'm gonna set up some flyers and see if I can rent it out. 756 00:51:13,029 --> 00:51:15,365 I know how you can make a boatload more. Rent it by the hour. 757 00:51:16,616 --> 00:51:17,867 Look, I got the labor force already. 758 00:51:18,034 --> 00:51:19,786 All I need is clientele and a location. 759 00:51:19,953 --> 00:51:21,162 You got both. 760 00:51:24,165 --> 00:51:26,084 (DEBBIE SOBBING) 761 00:51:26,293 --> 00:51:27,961 Debbie? 762 00:51:30,380 --> 00:51:32,215 Hey. 763 00:51:32,382 --> 00:51:35,093 What's going on? 764 00:51:35,260 --> 00:51:36,386 (LOCK CLICKS) 765 00:51:38,805 --> 00:51:41,683 - Hey, you okay? - (SOBBING) 766 00:51:41,850 --> 00:51:45,895 What's going on? Come on, open up. Talk to me, please. 767 00:51:52,944 --> 00:51:58,199 - Hey, what's going on? - My boyfriend. 768 00:51:58,366 --> 00:52:02,621 - I messed up. - How? 769 00:52:06,750 --> 00:52:12,380 You screwed up. That just proves you're a Gallagher. 770 00:52:12,547 --> 00:52:14,215 (SOBS, COUGHS) 771 00:52:19,012 --> 00:52:21,640 Let me let you in on a little secret. 772 00:52:23,183 --> 00:52:25,644 I don't know what the hell I'm doing either. 773 00:52:25,810 --> 00:52:28,063 Who doesn't know that? 774 00:52:30,774 --> 00:52:32,609 I just wish I could skip the part 775 00:52:32,776 --> 00:52:35,362 where I don't know the right thing to do 776 00:52:35,528 --> 00:52:38,990 and get to the part where I do. 777 00:52:40,659 --> 00:52:42,327 Me, too. 778 00:52:59,260 --> 00:53:01,054 Thank you. 779 00:53:02,806 --> 00:53:04,599 Water? 780 00:53:11,481 --> 00:53:14,984 My kingdom for a lobe, amigo. 781 00:53:15,151 --> 00:53:17,987 My kingdom for a lobe. 782 00:53:22,784 --> 00:53:25,161 Didn't expect to see you again. 783 00:53:28,248 --> 00:53:33,962 Do you know how many nights I laid awake, year after year 784 00:53:34,129 --> 00:53:37,257 wondering where you were, if you ever thought about me? 785 00:53:40,885 --> 00:53:43,930 Did you? Ever? 786 00:53:45,974 --> 00:53:47,142 No. 787 00:53:50,395 --> 00:53:52,272 I will now, though. 788 00:53:54,566 --> 00:53:56,526 I'm sorry. I should've told you sooner. 789 00:53:56,693 --> 00:54:00,238 I just didn't want to ruin what we had together. 790 00:54:16,129 --> 00:54:19,132 - Ow. - (BOTH CHUCKLING) 791 00:54:22,010 --> 00:54:26,097 - Come on, buy me a fucking beer. - Hey, hey. 792 00:54:26,264 --> 00:54:28,808 I need a beer for my daughter here. 793 00:54:44,407 --> 00:54:48,495 - I want a retest. - How long have you been out here? 794 00:54:48,661 --> 00:54:52,999 A couple of hours. I didn't wanna miss you. 795 00:54:53,166 --> 00:54:55,293 I wish you'd shown this concern for punctuality yesterday. 796 00:54:55,460 --> 00:54:57,712 Is that your goal, to graduate students 797 00:54:57,879 --> 00:54:59,172 who can punch a clock? 798 00:54:59,339 --> 00:55:01,674 My goal is to graduate students who can manage 799 00:55:01,841 --> 00:55:03,927 the organizational demands of the real world. 800 00:55:04,093 --> 00:55:05,303 Okay, listen, listen. 801 00:55:05,470 --> 00:55:08,598 I understand all of the demands of the real world. 802 00:55:08,765 --> 00:55:11,100 Okay, it's just the demands of this place 803 00:55:11,267 --> 00:55:13,144 that are taking me some time to figure out. 804 00:55:13,311 --> 00:55:14,729 But I'm getting there. 805 00:55:14,896 --> 00:55:19,359 I just need someone to say, "Fuck it. 806 00:55:19,526 --> 00:55:21,402 This kid deserves a break." 807 00:55:22,487 --> 00:55:23,905 I take it that's me. 808 00:55:27,492 --> 00:55:31,913 - You got a blue book? - Yeah. Right here. 809 00:55:32,080 --> 00:55:35,583 - Pen? - Yeah, I got three, just in case. 810 00:55:36,960 --> 00:55:38,044 Then fuck it. 811 00:55:51,766 --> 00:55:54,143 That's my high school graduation. 812 00:55:54,310 --> 00:55:58,523 - Nice mullet. - (CHUCKLING) Yeah. 813 00:55:58,690 --> 00:56:01,651 Oh, first wedding. 814 00:56:01,818 --> 00:56:05,154 I wish I could have been there to walk you down the aisle. 815 00:56:06,155 --> 00:56:07,991 You're here now. 816 00:56:12,620 --> 00:56:14,622 Ignore that. 817 00:56:41,149 --> 00:56:43,151 (English US - SDH)