For those of you who were solving worid peace or doing brain surgery...
...or whatever you were doing, this is what happened last week on Shameless.
Did you tell her, Jimmy? Family, dropped out of med school. different name?
-I remember you from the neighborhood. —I like you, Fiona. You're dirty.
—You‘re gonna work for me? -I am?
IAN: Where‘d you get the car’? -From Steve.
TONY: What does she see in him?
We'll ﬁnd you another skanky girl. Guess what car got reported stolen.
Steve may not be the guy you think.
FIONA: I think he suspects something. —No, he's just jealous. l'm careful.
Second place sucks, huh?
You bring me in, you risk Fiona hating you forever.
-Up to you. Turn yourself in. -What's the second choice?
Walk away. Leave everything behind.
This is off—duty officer reporting a stolen vehicle.
-Well, Steve.... —My brothers were just arrested.
Aah! Fuck! Aah!
-My daddy and I went to a purity ball. -Show up, confess your transgressions.
-When I did-- —You whore!
I'm just glad that my dad's not around anymore to call me a whore!
-But you have been kind of a whore. -Get the fuck out of my house!
What do you think now, Daddy? Am I still a whore?
Unh. Mother——
[SNORING]
ISIGHS]
[SCREAMS]
[GRUNTS]
No lattes or anything, but they did have hot chocolate for Debbie.
Thanks. And thanks for driving, but you don't have to stay.
JASMINE: Ah, it's cool. I'll hang for a bit.
-Tony. Did you see them? —They're still in back.
-When can I see them? —If Lip‘s not charged as an adult...
-...you can see them in court tomorrow. -Charged as an adult?
He's 17. They may charge him with felony grand theft auto.
No way Lip would steal a car, he's too smart, and Ian doesn't even drive.
TONY: If they didn't steal it—- -They didn't!
They have to tell the detectives who gave them the car and agree to testify.
If they don't give up a name, Lip could do ﬁve years.
IAN: I get convicted, I can't enlist.
LIP: What? -In the Marines.
Good. I was planning on knee-capping you in your sleep...
...to keep you out of Kandahar anyway.
[IAN CHUCKLES]
I was hoping for Korengal.
Isn't that where Todd |ggu|den's brother lost a foot?
Got him the Silver Star.
Yeah.
And a handicapped placard to hang from the mirror of his mom's Civic.
BERNERO: Phillip Gallagher.
No relation to our favorite overnight guest, Frank, I hope.
—Son. BERNERO: You're Frank's kid.
And this is your ﬁrst felony bust?
Getting a late start for a Gallagher, aren't you?
-Slow study, I guess. BERNERO: Hmm.
And Ian.
—Another Frank progeny? -Afraid so.
You always let your brother speak for you?
He's mute.
lcan talk.
So, what? You two geniuses stole a Porsche Cayenne, and what...
...decided to go on a little late-night White Castle run?
Come on, Ian.
You do not wanna do time.
Not with that face.
I stole the car.
Ian didn't know anything about it,
FRANK: Set them up, Mr. Barkeep.
Just said ''last call," Frank.
FRANK: So there's still time.
All right, one.
FRANK: Rot-gut, cheapest stuff you got in the house.
So, uh, Kev, just out of curiosity...
...you happen to know the age of consent in Illinois?
[LINE RINGING]
FIONA: Come on. Come on. Pick up. Pick up.
STEVE [ON MACHINE]: It's me. Leave a message.
Steve, Lip and Ian have just been arrested driving a stolen car.
Did they get it from you?
Did they?
Where the fuck are you?
What happened to you?
Ahem. Pick-up hockey game.
What were you, the puck? Hey, where's my Cayenne?
-Beeler called. Said you never showed. -It should have been there by now.
You were supposed to be delivering it yourself.
Yeah. I was out looking for that 911 you wanted.
I wanted the Cayenne.
Beeler needs it in the container before the ship leaves.
STEVE: Yeah. Don't worry about it.
[SNlFFS]
[DIALING]
[LINE RINGING]
Come on. Come on. Come on.
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
It's almost 1. I gotta get going before Hal decides I'm having another affair.
Let me drive you home. You can get some sleep.
And then come back ﬁrst thing in the morning.
Thanks. I'm gonna stay.
You want me to take Debbie? She could sleep at our house tonight.
I wanna stay with Fiona.
Thanks for driving.
I'll give you a call tomorrow, make sure everything's okay.
[GRUNTS]
I saw you from the window.
Are you cold?
Yeah.
[GRUNTING]
Aw.
You're out of the house again.
Yeah. Every day, a few more steps.
I'm up to 13.
Yeah.
Come on, sweet man.
Let's get you a nice, warm bath.
Jail? Why didn't you call me?
-Jasmine was there. —Who?
FIONA: One of the moms from Deb's school.
She was there when the cops called. Gave us a ride.
VERONICA: You were there all night? -Till they moved them downtown.
What about a lawyer?
Gave them a public defender for their ﬁrst court appearance.
Fuck that. We need a real one, not some just-out-of—law-schoo|...
...libera| do-gooder with a 2000—ghetto-kid caseload.
She's right. My husband's public defender...
...never met Clyde before the arraignment...
...then suggested he plead guilty to child molestation and sexual abuse.
What about Dickie Day? He helped Marty with that arson thing.
Marty got six years.
Well, Tony says the judge might just release Ian to me.
-I mean, he doesn't have priors. -But what about Lip?
They might charge him as an adult. He's had scrapes with the cops.
Truancy, shoplifting, drinking and that ﬁght...
...where he fractured Cam Matlock's cheekbone.
But no felonies, though.
Stolen Porsche, you said?
Mm.
VERONICA: Still no Steve?
Steve?
Steve!
Shit, Steve.
-Yeah. -Uh, a couple of kids were brought in.
-Gallagher’? And has bail been set yet? SERGEANT: Turk, take 12-36, man.
Jackson backed 12-17 into a hydrant on Halsted last night.
Trashed the back end. Ha, ha.
All right. Uh, it's Gallagher.
It's Phillip and Ian.
[KEYBOARD CLICKING]
SERGEANT: No bail. Haven't been arraigned yet.
Probably make it into court today or tomorrow.
Thank you.
SHEILA: I'm worried about her, Frank.
After everything she's been through with her father.
The humiliation and rejection.
I'm just so worried that she's gonna make some terrible mistake...
...that she regrets the rest of her life.
Hi, sweetie. How did you sleep?
Karen, sweetie, do you wanna have some breakfast?
Don't go to the basement yet. Come and sit with us.
[DOOR SLAMS]
-More cookies to sell? -Is Jimmy here?
LISHMAN: No.
He's back in school in Michigan.
No.
He's living 96 blocks away on the South Side...
...dating my sister, stealing cars, and going by the name of Steve.
[DOOR OPENS]
Look, there's no easy way to say this...
...but we have to stop.
|['s my boy.
Lip. I'm sorry. I can't do it to him.
You and me. I mean, it was amazing. Earth-shattering.
The woI1d turned on its axis and all of that.
It was for me too.
And you, so young and sexy and taut and tight.
And—- But I'm—-
I'll still be there for you, of course.
If you need help with your homework or you need me to teach you how to drive...
...or the toilet needs plunging.
You know, normal things between a man and his girlfriend's daughter.
But you and me....
A man has to be able to look his son in the eye.
A man has to have the courage to ﬁght the things in his nature that»-
You understand, his passions, his needs and desires.
Well, okay. There. I've said it.
You go back to Lip. I'll go back to your mother.
Yes? Okay?
Good. Good.
Here. Here.
Get yourself something nice.
What the hell is that?
Your Cayenne.
ERICSON: It's supposed to be black. -Paint it.
ISIGHS]
-What? -I need my end.
-No. You get it when I get it. -No. I need it now.
-Yeah-- All right, I got a job. —Not interested.
Bring me two Lexuses. Black if possible, 450-LSs.
But there's only 3 grand in here.
Bring me the 450s. I'll give you 10 next week.
I'm not gonna be here next week, not gonna be here tomorrow.
All right. Come back tonight. I'll give you the 10 grand.
-What? —Hold on to my money.
I'll be back for it.
TONY: Detective. -Yeah.
Case landed on your desk last night. Gallagher, Phillip and Ian?
BERNERO: Yeah.
What's it going to take to let them walk?
Markovich, is it?
You related somehow?
They're from my neighborhood. Good kids.
Lip is bright, doing great at school.
Ian is in ROTC, wants to join the Marines.
They wouldn't have been in that car if they knew it was stolen.
BERNERO: So, uh, you just know them from around the neighborhood, is that it?
-I'm pretty close to their sister. BERNERO: Oh.
They get off, I promise I'll kick their asses...
...up and down the block.
Well, they gotta tell me who gave them that car.
They won't snitch and you know it.
BERNERO: Then they're doing time.
TONY: Bears tickets.
Forty—ﬁve yard line. Twenty-three rows up.
You pick the game.
Two games.
[SNIFFSI
All eight games next season.
Fine.
Preseason and playoffs.
VERONICA: Hey.
FIONA: Unh, unh, unh. -Oh, fuck—- Come on.
KEVIN: Ah.
-You guys popped your cherry. IAN: Yeah.
KEVIN: Hey, you guys see my dad in there?
[ALL LAUGHING]
They give you a cavity search?
No, we weren't there long enough. It was probably on the menu.
KAREN [ON MACHINE]: It's Karen. Leave a message.
Hey. Karen, it's me. Uh, call me back when you get this message, all right?
See anybody get shanked?
We were cuffed to a bench in a hallway most of the night, Carl.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
Clean towels. You both need showers. You're rank.
I'll go ﬁrst.
They take your belts and shoelaces so you wouldn't hang yourselves?
Carl, go help Veronica with dinner.
-I helped with breakfast. -You pulled out a cereal bowl. Go.
So?
Sorry, Fiona.
It was stupid.
Could have ended up in prison.
Where‘d you get the stolen car?
Lip‘s not here, okay? I'm asking you.
Was it from Steve?
Hey, Fiona?
I'm gay.
I know.
Well, I should have told you a long time ago.
I don't know why I didn't.
You're still on my shit list.
[DOOR CLOSES]
FRANK: Mind over matter.
That's the trick in matters of the ﬂesh.
It's all about willpower.
Some people have it, some don't.
Me? I got it in spades. Ah.
Lip and Ian were released.
Released from what?
Jail.
FRANK: Hmm. About time too.
You must struggle with temptation, Kevin.
Nubile, young temptress traipsing around your house.
In and out of the bathroom in her dainty little undies.
Are you talking about Ethel?
FRANK: What is she, 13?
Fourteen?
They know.
They pretend they don't, but they do.
Hannah Montana?
Those over-sexed kids on Glee?
Think they're selling good, wholesome, al|—American fun?
Hell, no.
Flesh and underage temptation.
You can look, but oh, no, don't touch.
Fuck off, Frank.
We see ﬁrm, young bodies...
...every synapse in our cerebellum screams:
"Procreate! impregnate!"
It's not our fault.
We're driven by the deep, invaluable, evolutionary need...
...to perpetuate the species.
TOMMY: My brother Bennie's girl?
Fifteen.
Running around his house in short shorts...
...|ace bra, underwear hanging out.
I banged Filipino hookers in the Navy looked more innocent than my niece.
All right. You two sick fucks are cutoff.
Willpower, my friend.
Willpower.
We are warriors battling against the dark forces of our primal nature.
Knights taking up arms against our animalistic impulses...
...in a debauched culture.
Doing battle every day, gentlemen.
Every single day.
Season tickets?
Just for the year.
ARTIE: Playoffs too?
Jesus, this Fiona better be the best pussy you've ever had.
She's the only pussy I've ever had.
ARTIE: Check out this idiot.
Are you stupid orjust hard of hearing?
STEVE: Ian and Lip are in jail.
I told you to leave town.
They were driving a car that I stole.
-Yeah. Yeah, I know. -They told you?
No. Of course not. They're South Side.
You gotta get them off.
Yeah? And why's that?
Because they're innocent.
They didn't know they were driving a stolen car?
I'll give you the house.
What?
The house that I bought besides Fiona's.
I'll give you the title. It's paid for. You get the charges dropped, it's yours.
-You paid for a house in cash? -It's a shitty neighborhood.
How many cars have you stolen?
Do we have a deal or not?
Nothing else has changed. You're gone.
You don't see her, don't call, don't write. Disappear.
I'm gone tonight.
What the hell was that?
I think I might have just found a way to move out of my mom's basement.
[MOTORCYCLE ENGINE REVS]
-Good job. Good job. VERONICA: Hey. Where is everyone?
Kitchen!
Chopped up some leftover chuck for Bolognese ragu.
I hope everybody is good and hungry.
-Hey. FIONA: Yeah. Carl, set the table.
Hi. I'm Jasmine.
Oh, sorry. Jasmine, this is Veronica. V lives next door.
Hiya, V.
Those are great boots. Macy's?
Famous Footwear.
Oh, wow, I gotta check that place out.
Pour yourself some bubbly, V. We are celebrating the boys‘ big breakout.
FIONA: Silverware, plates, now. —I brought some Chianti.
Oh, great.
Well, we're making stir-fry.
Hey, try this.
-Is it ready? FIONA: Mm.
-Mm. Perfect. -Good? All right. Do you wanna try it?
-Uh, no. -Okay.
What do you got there, V? What's in here?
I, uh.... I made some pasta sauce.
Oh. Good, good. With teenage boys in the house, you can never have enough.
CARL: You ﬁgured out what you're gonna do to them yet?
FIONA: Huh? —Punishment. Ground them for a year?
Nothing. I'm not their mother.
I can steal a car and nothing will happen to me?
You steal a car, and I'll smother you in your sleep.
-I need to talk to you. -Can it wait, Debs?
I'll stick to my red.
JASMINE: Okay. Debbie. -It's okay.
To Chicago jurisprudence and adolescent misadventure.
-Cheers. -Cheers.
FIONA: Where you going? -Karen's.
-Dinners almost ready. LIP: Not hungry.
Hello.
g
-The jailbird? -Yeah. One of them.
He's cute.
Hey, so we can deﬁnitely use some help at the ofﬁce with tax season coming up.
You want that job, come by tomorrow. I'll be in the ofﬁce all day.
FIONA: Thanks. -A job?
Yeah, guess so.
Karen?
Hey, Karen, you down here?
Hey, you okay?
I left you a couple messages, but you, uh, didn't call me back, so....
You doing all right?
I'm sorry for what I said.
I was being a fucking asshole.
[LIP GRUNTING]
[KAREN GRUNTING]
LIP: I love you.
Oh, my God.
I spent last night in jail.
Ian and I, grand theft auto.
I think we should stop seeing each other.
What, because the sex is shit? Heh.
I think we should just be friends.
Why?
Don't make this harder than it has to be.
Wait, wait, wait. is it because I said that I love you?
Because I don't "love you" love you.
That was, like, middle-of-sex, you know, love you.
Listen, honest, I don't love you.
Okay, no, listen. I promise. I promise I don't love you.
Karen.
Karen, I don't love you.
Anyways, forms are—- It's so much fun, actually.
It's really, like, you ﬁll out forms—-
Lip?
[GRUNTS]
[KNOCKING]
You all right?
How was Karen?
Lip?
LIP: She fucking dumped me.
Were you two even a couple?
[LIP SIGHS]
Still feels shitty.
She is kind ofa slut.
Yeah, but...
-...then so am I. —Heh.
Mavbe why you two got along?
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
I think I was kind of falling in love with her.
Hey, we're heading over to the Tiki, grab a couple. Wanna come?
No, I'm behind on the damn paperwork.
I haven't even checked my e—mails all day.
Hey, I got the ice hut set up on the lake. We ﬁshing this weekend?
Course.
You bring the Old Style, I'll bring the kielbasa?
-Got it. —Ha, ha. All right.
FRANK [ON SCREEN]: Oh, mother of God.
[FRANK & KAREN MOANING ON SCREEN]
No, no, no.
What do you think now Daddy? Am Istill a whore?
FRANK: Oh, God. Oh, mother of God.
She never misses dinner without calling.
She's so sweet that way.
You gonna ﬁnish your pie?
Oh, no, no. No, you go right ahead, sweetie.
Mm.
You know what I was thinking? Maybe I should buy her a car.
You know, she was so disappointed when Eddie didn't give her his.
I mean, I've got some money saved. I could do it.
How much money?
I think, like, about 12,000, I think.
I know a guy who sells cars.
Why don't you give me the money, and I'll ﬁnd her something nice?
Would you do that, Frank?
—That would be wonderful. -Ah.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
Oh. She must have forgot her key.
Maybe you could teach her to drive.
—Would you do that, Frank? Teach her? -Yeah.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
SHEILA: Hold your horses, I'm coming.
Maybe a Vulva. I heard those are real safe.
[DOORKNOB RATTLING]
SHEILA: Eddie. You know you're not welcome here.
EDDIE: I saw, Frank! I saw what you did! SHEILA: You're not coming in.
[DOOR THUMPING]
SHEILA: Eddie, stop. You're gonna break the door. Eddie!
[EDDIE YELLS]
Where are you, Frank? Where are you?
SHEILA: Eddie!
Shit. Eddie!
Frank!
You better run, you bastard!
SHEILA: Eddie!
Eddie! Eddie!
Frank! Eddie!
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
DEBBIE: Fiona? —Debs, why aren't you in bed?
We need to talk.
What's up?
DEBBIE: It's about Steve.
There are things you don't know about him.
I already know, Debs.
You do?
Life's messy, and people have secrets.
I don't want you worrying about this kind of stuff, okay?
You're still a kid.
So just be a kid, okay?
The grown-ups around here have got things covered.
Really?
Really.
Come on.
[COMMENTATOR SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ON TV]
Where is he?
Where is who?
Frank.
-Frank Gallagher! -He's not here.
If you happen to see Frank, tell him he's a dead man.
I don't care how long it takes, I don't care how much he begs...
...he's fucking dead.
You fucked the wrong guy's daughter, Gallagher!
[DOOR SLAMS]
FRANK: He gone? -Yeah.
[WHISTLES THEN CHUCKLES]
Anybody got a spare pair of shoes I could borrow?
Fuck.
STEVE: Leave the lights off, please.
Are Lip and Ian home?
You bastard.
-Are they out of jail? -You gave them a stolen car?
Lip asked to borrow one to run some errands or something, and he asked me»-
[STEVE GRUNTS]
-I have to leave town. -Where the fuck have you been?
Come with me.
Costa Rica. It's beautiful. I have friends there.
Why do you have to go?
Police?
Costa Rica.
We can rent a house on the beach.
I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
The kids will be all right. Lip and Ian can run things.
-Debbie? Carl? Liam? -Kev and V can still help around here.
Is that what you actually think this is? Like people popping in, feeding dogs?
How much time will you get if you turn yourself in?
Look at me. I can't go to jail. I might as well wear heels.
Come with me, Fiona.
How long is it gonna be about them and not about you?
When are you gonna ﬁnally do something for yourself?
Liam's 2. Sixteen more years till he's out of the house.
You'll be what, 37, 38?
And who says Frank's done dumping babies in your lap to raise?
You deserve a life of your own.
-Costa Rica. -Heh.
Then maybe Rio. You ever been to Rio?
Have you ever been outside of Chicago?
I love you. I wanna be with you.
It's not forever. We'll come back.
Three months. Six months. Maybe a year.
You can call them every single day.
Come with me, Fiona.
Come with me.
First class.
Miami out of O'Hare. Tomorrow afternoon.
-Well, I don't have a passport. -We'll get one in Miami.
I'll meet you at O'Hara tomorrow afternoon. The American terminal.
I love you.
He's right.
You should go, Fiona.
You've done more than enough.
We'll be all right.
[SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE]
[SHIVERING]
EDDIE: Gallagher!
I'm gonna ﬁnd you, Frank!
It's just a matter of time, you asshole!
[MEN LAUGHING AND CHA'I'|'ERING]
NATHAN: I don't even know what the hell's going on there.
-Whoa, whoa, whoa. NATHAN: That is awesome.
[FRANK & KAREN MOANING ON SCREEN]
MAN: Okay, guys. Turn it off. FRANK: No, no, no. No means no.
[JOEY LAUGHING]
Those Gallaghers.
LIP: What?
JoeYr
What?
Be a pal, Lip. When you and Frank get done passing around, uh, "Daddyz Girl"...
...send her on over to our place.
Someone's gotta pop this little pussy's cherry.
We'll just make sure to double-bag his itsy-bitsy johnson ﬁrst.
Frank?
Frank?!
One more person deserting them.
Costa Rica? Drinking blended margaritas...
...under an umbrella on a white-sand beach?
Give me the ticket. Shit, I'll go.
I've got a job offer, you know? I could start bringing in some steady cash.
Answering phones at some ofﬁce in Cermak or sambaing in Rio?
That's the Sophie's choice you're agonizing over?
What are you afraid of?
That the kids won't miss you?
That by day three or four, Carl will be saying, "Fiona who?" when you call?
Afraid if you ever do something even remotely selﬁsh...
...the Earth's gravitational pull will end and we'll all go ﬂying into space?
No. Shit.
I think I might be in love with him.
I know.
Scary, isn't it?
Come here.
FRANK: Oh, shit. Shit.
Jeez.
[FRANK GRUNTS]
—Lip. Jesus. What--? LIP: You fucked her?
[BOTH GRUNTING]
LIP: You fucked her’?
KEVIN: All right, all right. Come on. Calm down.
-Now, calm down! -Get the fuck off me!
Enough. Enough! Enough!
Calm down.
[LIP PANTING]
KEVIN: Get out of here.
-You motherfucker. KEVIN: Go!
Why would he do this?
FRANK: Because he's a fucking psycho.
I told him straight, very nice, very reasonable:
"You'll get your 40 bucks when my new disability claim kicks in."
The next thing I know, he's beating me to death.
Honey. This is all over money? You should have asked me for it.
-I would have given it to you. FRANK: No, I couldn't take advantage.
SHEILA: Sweetie, you are too easy on them.
They don't deserve you.
[SHEILA SIGHS]
You know, when it's all said and done...
-...you're the only one that's nice to me. -Oh, honey.
You're really nice to me.
You sweet man.
[SQUEAKS]
How's your hand?
It's broken, I think.
Where‘d you get the car?
What?
The one you wrecked trying to kill your dad.
LIP: I stole it.
KAREN: Getting pretty good at that, huh?
Quick study.
I'm sorry, Lip.
Fucking fathers, huh?
FRANK: Lip?
Lip, I'm sorry, okay? I'm a shit.
No, I am.
A complete asshole. I know it.
If your grandmother was here, she'd say it too.
It's totally my fault.
We all do things.
Well, not all.
It's like...
...the moon orbiting the Earth.
These things show up and you know you shouldn't...
...but then you do, and then you don't know what to do.
But we can't hold it against her. She's young and carefree.
I mean, we're both victims here, you and me.
The Bible says it is blessed to forgive, son.
And that forgiveness is the ﬁrst step on the stairway to heaven.
[SIGHS]
We're both fucking victims!
Open the window, son.
How can I ever really say I'm sorry?
Shit.
What the fuck?
Fair enough.
[CHUCKLES]
STEVE: Hey.
Oh, sorry.
HGYA
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
[English - US - SDH]