1
00:00:04,296 --> 00:00:07,709
Oh, man. You guys missed
a great party last week.



2
00:00:10,302 --> 00:00:11,337
[BURPS]



3
00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:14,219
-Say hello to your new foster family.
-You're one of five wives?



4
00:00:14,389 --> 00:00:16,425
—Married to a dude named Clyde?
-Who's 65?



5
00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:18,761
Would it be all right
if my son Jonah came to visit?



6
00:00:18,936 --> 00:00:21,552
Keep laughing.
I will slit your throat while you sleep.



7
00:00:21,730 --> 00:00:24,893
-Shoplifting is out of hand.
IAN: You have to stand up to him.



8
00:00:25,067 --> 00:00:26,773
Tried that once with his father.



9
00:00:26,944 --> 00:00:29,401
No, hold it like you wanna
do something with it.



10
00:00:29,571 --> 00:00:32,438
IAN: Again?
—What was I supposed to do? Shoot?



11
00:00:32,616 --> 00:00:35,528
No touching the forbidden fruit
until I'm knocked up.



12
00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:37,158
IAN:
Slept with someone. Not Kash.



13
00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:39,282
-This was like a booty call.
MICKEY: Whatever.



14
00:00:39,456 --> 00:00:42,869
Steve got a text from Candace.
Is he dating someone else?



15
00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:44,453
Who the fuck is Candace?



16
00:00:44,628 --> 00:00:46,414
We work together. That's all.



17
00:00:46,588 --> 00:00:48,544
STEVE: I'm home.
CHARLES: Little brother!



18
00:00:49,132 --> 00:00:50,463
WOMAN:
Hey, you.



19
00:00:50,926 --> 00:00:52,382
Mm.



20
00:02:07,544 --> 00:02:09,034
DEBBIE:
Okay, but you gotta promise.



21
00:02:09,212 --> 00:02:12,704
Okay, I promise. I won't tell Fiona.
Now. whose house is this?



22
00:02:12,883 --> 00:02:14,214
I'm not sure.



23
00:02:15,218 --> 00:02:17,209
VERONICA:
What the hell are we doing here?



24
00:02:17,387 --> 00:02:19,548
Trying to find out if Steve's cheating.



25
00:02:19,723 --> 00:02:20,838
What?



26
00:02:21,016 --> 00:02:23,723
Tell me that's not
a woman's car parked out front.



27
00:02:26,897 --> 00:02:28,728
Fiona is a big girl.



28
00:02:28,899 --> 00:02:32,062
Fiona takes care of everyone,
but no one takes care of Fiona.



29
00:02:32,235 --> 00:02:36,069
Is this about Candace?
Because Fiona knows about Candace.



30
00:02:36,239 --> 00:02:39,527
She won't do anything.
Too proud. So we have to.



31
00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:41,991
You're a sweet kid, Debs.



32
00:02:44,206 --> 00:02:46,538
[BEATBULLYZ'S "BOUNCE"
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]



33
00:02:50,253 --> 00:02:51,459
Hey, bounce, come on



34
00:02:51,630 --> 00:02:54,292
Bounce, come on
Bounce, come on, bounce



35
00:02:54,466 --> 00:02:56,172
Everybody, just bounce, come on



36
00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:58,459
Bounce, come on
Bounce, come on



37
00:02:58,637 --> 00:03:00,252
Bounce, bounce



38
00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:05,056
I've just got this feeling
About to lose control



39
00:03:05,268 --> 00:03:09,227
Did you purposefully order a Sex on the
Beach so I'd say it to the gay bartender’?



40
00:03:09,398 --> 00:03:12,060
Maybe. Maybe I was hoping
you'd actually take me away...



41
00:03:12,234 --> 00:03:13,895
...so we could have sex on a beach.



42
00:03:14,069 --> 00:03:16,560
I could barely get you
overnight in a local hotel.



43
00:03:16,738 --> 00:03:18,569
Well, that was then. This is now.



44
00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:21,607
I just feel like I haven't seen
a lot of you lately.



45
00:03:22,661 --> 00:03:24,902
You mean that you'd like
to see more of me?



46
00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:29,163
Yes. I guess that's what I'm saying.



47
00:03:33,255 --> 00:03:35,291
Usually by this time
in a relationship...



48
00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:39,424
...guy starts just showing up for booty
calls, or wants me to meet his mother.



49
00:03:39,594 --> 00:03:41,880
Either way, I start looking
for reasons to walk,



50
00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:44,717
Well, my mom is in Michigan,
so you don't have to worry.



51
00:03:44,891 --> 00:03:48,133
I think that's the first time
you've ever mentioned your family.



52
00:03:48,311 --> 00:03:49,801
Really?



53
00:03:50,522 --> 00:03:52,683
Not much to say. I mean...



54
00:03:52,858 --> 00:03:54,940
...they live in Michigan.



55
00:03:55,110 --> 00:03:56,316
The whole state?



56
00:03:56,486 --> 00:03:57,601
No. Near Detroit.



57
00:03:57,779 --> 00:04:01,317
Uh, Dad used to work for GM,
so I try to send back what I can to help.



58
00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:04,983
Family business.
He builds them. You steal them.



59
00:04:05,871 --> 00:04:06,906
Come on, let's dance.



60
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:12,115
Come on.



61
00:04:14,171 --> 00:04:15,502
[DOOR opens]



62
00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:19,081
Liam is officially asleep.



63
00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:20,339
That was fast.



64
00:04:20,510 --> 00:04:24,253
Yeah, well, three pages from Deb's
Eat Pray Love and he's out.



65
00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:27,514
If James Franco wasn't in the movie,
I would've nodded off too.



66
00:04:27,684 --> 00:04:29,595
[CHUCKLES]



67
00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:33,354
You got any cash you can float me?
Florence and the Machine are playing...



68
00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:36,435
...the Chicago Theatre.
I wanna take Karen for her birthday.



69
00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:39,522
Pricey gift. Things getting serious?



70
00:04:39,696 --> 00:04:42,483
Fuck off. She's my best friend.



71
00:04:42,657 --> 00:04:46,241
Okay? You know I never spend
that kind of cash on a girl anyway.



72
00:04:46,703 --> 00:04:49,661
All right. Well, I gota Hamilton.
It's yours.



73
00:04:49,831 --> 00:04:51,116
Thanks, man.



74
00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:53,327
[LIAM CRYING]



75
00:04:53,502 --> 00:04:55,208
BOTH:
One, two, three.



76
00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:59,917
ETHEL:
God bless Jonah, my sweet baby boy.



77
00:05:00,091 --> 00:05:01,672
And God bless my husband, Clyde.



78
00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:05,506
May those caring for him remind him
to take his blood-pressure supplement...



79
00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:07,966
...and his glucosamine
chondroitin supplement...



80
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:11,224
...so that he can bend down
to pick up our child.



81
00:05:11,394 --> 00:05:14,181
God bless the other wives
who are on their knees now...



82
00:05:14,356 --> 00:05:18,099
-...asking you to bless me.
-Separated from her kid. Gotta suck.



83
00:05:18,276 --> 00:05:21,109
Hopefully, the visit with him
tomorrow will cheer her up.



84
00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:24,692
I'm kind of excited about it.
Having a full house. Two kids.



85
00:05:24,866 --> 00:05:28,825
Don't get too excited.
It's only temporary.



86
00:05:29,412 --> 00:05:30,447
Temporary, Kevin.



87
00:05:30,622 --> 00:05:31,702
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
—Mm-hm.



88
00:05:31,873 --> 00:05:34,364
Are you gonna put those in my ass?
I'm not even gonna feel it.



89
00:05:34,543 --> 00:05:36,909
They're earplugs, babe.
And they're for her.



90
00:05:38,922 --> 00:05:41,004
That would have sucked,
trying to fish those out.



91
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:42,209
[VERONICA LAUGHS]



92
00:05:57,941 --> 00:06:00,853
HGYA



93
00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:04,110
Wakey, wakey, Jackie Chan.



94
00:06:09,911 --> 00:06:12,118
Who the fuck are you?



95
00:06:12,956 --> 00:06:14,366
I'm Frank.



96
00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:18,120
Oh, my God.



97
00:06:18,295 --> 00:06:19,876
Did we...?



98
00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:21,377
[CHUCKLES]



99
00:06:23,341 --> 00:06:25,878
Oh, now, now.



100
00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:28,043
[GIRL SOBBING]



101
00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:30,303
Chins up.



102
00:06:33,852 --> 00:06:35,843
[GIRL WHIMPERING]



103
00:06:44,321 --> 00:06:46,061
KAREN:
Fuck off.



104
00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:48,400
How'd you know it was me?



105
00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:52,739
I was talking to my Promise Makers group
and I want you to know...



106
00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:58,704
...that I understand that so much of
your bad behavior is my responsibility.



107
00:06:59,336 --> 00:07:02,419
If you leave a dog in the house alone
for more than eight hours...



108
00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:05,501
...you can't get mad at him
for peeing the rug, right?



109
00:07:07,135 --> 00:07:10,673
I found this in an album in the basement.



110
00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:14,927
I don't know.



111
00:07:15,685 --> 00:07:21,430
Maybe we can try to capture
more moments like these together.



112
00:07:25,362 --> 00:07:27,353
[BLOW DRYER WHIRRING]



113
00:07:33,870 --> 00:07:37,033
FIONA: Why is it that I feel like you can't
get away from me fast enough?



114
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:41,166
-Ha—ha-ha!
-Because you're paranoid.



115
00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:44,669
What happened to that computer class
you were gonna take?



116
00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:47,581
They canceled it.
Not enough people, I guess.



117
00:07:47,759 --> 00:07:50,216
Liam's gonna be up.
I gotta get him fed and dressed...



118
00:07:50,387 --> 00:07:55,051
...and to the clinic for some shots.
Don't tell Jenny McCarthy.



119
00:07:55,225 --> 00:07:56,305
Hey, Debs.



120
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:57,682
Steve.



121
00:07:58,603 --> 00:08:00,514
Liam up yen



122
00:08:00,689 --> 00:08:05,183
Squawking a little. So everything cool
with, uh, you and Steve?



123
00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:06,691
What? Why?



124
00:08:06,861 --> 00:08:09,102
No reason. I'm just checking in.



125
00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:24,410
Hi, baby bottoms.
Did you have sweet dreams?



126
00:08:24,587 --> 00:08:26,452
STEVE:
I thought I was baby bottoms.



127
00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:32,960
I swore I would never date a guy
whose ass was smaller than mine.



128
00:08:33,138 --> 00:08:37,472
But I seem to be breaking a lot of
my own rules lately, don't I? Don't I?



129
00:08:37,642 --> 00:08:39,598
He's assuming that was rhetorical.



130
00:08:40,937 --> 00:08:43,679
Hey, you wanna come by tonight
after Liam's down?



131
00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:45,939
V gave me a copy of
Queen of Outer Space.



132
00:08:46,109 --> 00:08:48,191
Zsa Zsa Gabor at her finest.



133
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:50,773
We could watch it. And not watch it.



134
00:08:50,947 --> 00:08:53,404
STEVE: I gotta go to work.
FIONA: Okay.



135
00:08:53,575 --> 00:08:56,282
STEVE:
Mrn. Ahh.



136
00:08:57,245 --> 00:08:58,530
Hey, Steve.



137
00:09:01,166 --> 00:09:02,372
Debs, breakfast?



138
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:03,952
I'm good.



139
00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:09,587
FIONA: Breakfast!
—Hey, can I get a ride to the library?



140
00:09:09,758 --> 00:09:11,419
Motorcycle. No can do.



141
00:09:11,593 --> 00:09:13,800
-When did you get a motorcycle?
—AIways had one.



142
00:09:13,970 --> 00:09:16,086
I guess there's a lot
I don't know about you.



143
00:09:16,264 --> 00:09:20,223
Truth? I'm in the CIA
and this is all just a cover.



144
00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:28,060
Any calls, Kate?



145
00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:32,898
Yeah, actually, some A-hole was
looking for you. Left this number.



146
00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:34,438
Hand me the phone, will you?



147
00:09:34,616 --> 00:09:38,234
Your tab is bigger than my ass
and you smell like kimchi and vomit.



148
00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:42,029
Now, stop that. Your ass looks great.



149
00:09:42,207 --> 00:09:44,289
Like you in the sack, make it quick.



150
00:09:44,459 --> 00:09:46,495
I wasn't quick.
I was just busy that day.



151
00:09:46,669 --> 00:09:48,000
[KATE SCOFFS]



152
00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:52,626
LOU [OVER PHONE]:
Hello.



153
00:09:52,801 --> 00:09:55,417
[IN WOMAN'S VOICE]
Yes. I have Frank Gallagher calling.



154
00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:58,007
LOU:
Hey, Frankie. Got great news.



155
00:09:58,181 --> 00:10:00,137
[IN NORMAL VOICE]
Who the fuck is this?



156
00:10:00,308 --> 00:10:01,798
LOU :
Your settlement is in.



157
00:10:01,976 --> 00:10:03,716
Yeah. Which one?



158
00:10:03,895 --> 00:10:05,806
LOU:
Yeah. Come see me. I'll give you the 411.



159
00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:07,561
[LAUGHING]



160
00:10:07,732 --> 00:10:11,475
Hey, everybody, next round's on me.



161
00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:18,485
DEBBIE:
Kev. Veronica.



162
00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:20,821
Didn't you just clean that yesterday?



163
00:10:20,995 --> 00:10:24,453
Child Protective Services is bringing
my baby, Jonah, for a visit.



164
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:27,411
Everything has to be just so.



165
00:10:27,585 --> 00:10:29,917
You're so lucky you have a baby.



166
00:10:30,088 --> 00:10:31,419
How old are you?



167
00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:33,545
Ten and a quarter.



168
00:10:33,842 --> 00:10:36,379
Two more years and you'll be
old enough to start trying.



169
00:10:38,346 --> 00:10:39,552
Does it hurt?



170
00:10:39,722 --> 00:10:41,883
Sexual relations or childbirth?



171
00:10:42,058 --> 00:10:43,047
Both.



172
00:10:43,226 --> 00:10:44,887
Yes.



173
00:10:45,061 --> 00:10:46,050
[LIP GRUNTING]



174
00:10:46,229 --> 00:10:48,185
KAREN:
He's such a douche bag.



175
00:10:48,356 --> 00:10:50,813
He's on this whole father-daughter
purity-ball kick.



176
00:10:51,818 --> 00:10:53,058


177
00:10:53,236 --> 00:10:55,727
KAREN:
He wants me to take a vow of celibacy...



178
00:10:55,905 --> 00:10:58,612
...so we can rekindle
our father-daughter relationship.



179
00:10:58,783 --> 00:11:01,320
LIP: Maybe we could not talk
about your father right now.



180
00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:03,325
KAREN:
Not what you had in mind for dirty talk?



181
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:05,077
LIP:
Not exactly, no. Unh!



182
00:11:07,125 --> 00:11:08,240
KAREN:
Fuck!



183
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:11,079
Oh, shit!



184
00:11:11,254 --> 00:11:12,585
Shh! Carl's right outside. Shh!



185
00:11:12,755 --> 00:11:15,246
KAREN: Oh, fuck! Fuck!
LIP: Fuck.



186
00:11:15,425 --> 00:11:17,256
KAREN:
Oh, shit! Oh!



187
00:11:17,427 --> 00:11:21,011
LIP: Shh! Shit!
KAREN: Keep going!



188
00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:22,296
[LIP 8. KAREN GROANING]



189
00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:29,345
Yes. Shatterproof, my ass.



190
00:11:31,274 --> 00:11:33,265
[BOTH SIGHING]



191
00:11:39,782 --> 00:11:43,616
Wanna go to the planetarium tonight
and get high?



192
00:11:43,786 --> 00:11:45,617
I can't. I'm busy.



193
00:11:45,788 --> 00:11:49,451
KAREN: Doing what? Danielle?
-Less you know, the better.



194
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:53,076
Are we still on for Friday night?



195
00:11:53,254 --> 00:11:54,664
Yeah.



196
00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:57,630
Can you give me a hint?



197
00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:00,462
Yeah, but not gonna.



198
00:12:06,809 --> 00:12:08,049
Aha.



199
00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:10,469
Crucial Confrontations.



200
00:12:11,814 --> 00:12:13,429
Haven't seen you here in a while.



201
00:12:13,608 --> 00:12:15,314
Been kind of busy, Simon.



202
00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:17,771
I got a signed first edition
of Harry Potter.



203
00:12:17,946 --> 00:12:20,437
Overrated.
Made a better movie than a book.



204
00:12:20,615 --> 00:12:22,776
And now with all those
kid actors grown up...



205
00:12:22,951 --> 00:12:25,567
...they're scarier looking
than the villains.



206
00:12:26,871 --> 00:12:28,657
Hey, can you help me
on the computers?



207
00:12:29,207 --> 00:12:30,242
What do you wanna do?



208
00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:31,826
Dig up some dirt.



209
00:12:32,001 --> 00:12:33,241
Name?



210
00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:36,456
Steve. Wilson? Wilton?



211
00:12:36,631 --> 00:12:39,293
You need to know what the name is
before you can look it up.



212
00:12:39,467 --> 00:12:42,129
Try "Wilton." In Lake Forest.



213
00:12:46,140 --> 00:12:49,598
There are zero in Illinois,
but there are 15 of them nationwide.



214
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:51,430
-Can you do it backwards?
-"Notliw"?



215
00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:54,937
No, I mean, if! give you an address,
can you work from there?



216
00:12:55,692 --> 00:13:00,686
Hey, urn, maybe sometime we could
just casually hang out.



217
00:13:00,863 --> 00:13:03,195
Fine. Fine, yes.
We can casually hang out.



218
00:13:03,366 --> 00:13:05,698
1055 North Ave.



219
00:13:06,494 --> 00:13:10,908
Says the property owners
are Lloyd and Candace Lishman.



220
00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:12,989
Hello, Ms. D-Lish.



221
00:13:13,167 --> 00:13:16,330
-Cool. Then we can hang out sometime?
—We just did.



222
00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:29,088
She opened an ING Direct
savings account.



223
00:13:29,267 --> 00:13:32,634
Hasn't kept any large bills in there
for months. Believe me, I've looked.



224
00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:35,599
-You know where she is?
-No idea. How much you need?



225
00:13:35,773 --> 00:13:37,934
-Gotta buy concert tickets.
FIONA: Yikes.



226
00:13:38,109 --> 00:13:41,522
Wish I had it. Maybe you should take
Mrs. Niedereiter up on her offer.



227
00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:47,277
Well, that should do it, Mrs. Niedereiter.



228
00:13:52,874 --> 00:13:55,661
...that could use some attention, Phillip.



229
00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:01,914
-Thanks for the idea.
-You're not seriously gonna do it?



230
00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:03,922
LIAM: Mommy.
-No.



231
00:14:04,093 --> 00:14:06,049
But I could smash her birdhouse again.



232
00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:09,512
Hey...



233
00:14:10,058 --> 00:14:11,923
...what do you think of Steve?



234
00:14:12,101 --> 00:14:14,763
Ass is kind of small.
Not really my type.



235
00:14:16,647 --> 00:14:19,104
You about to retreat
and count your wounded?



236
00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:21,266
No, just...



237
00:14:21,444 --> 00:14:23,435
I just wanna know
if I should trust him.



238
00:14:23,613 --> 00:14:26,821
That's like asking if
you should believe in God.



239
00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:30,237
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]



240
00:14:30,411 --> 00:14:31,446
VERONICA:
Just be yourself.



241
00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:34,445
Okay. Okay»



242
00:14:34,624 --> 00:14:36,865
Here we go.



243
00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:40,668
Hi. Come in.



244
00:14:40,838 --> 00:14:45,047
ETHEL:
Jonah, baby! Mama missed you so much.



245
00:14:47,136 --> 00:14:49,843
Hi, baby. Hi.



246
00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:52,388
Good afternoon.



247
00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:53,593
-I'm Kev.
ANDREA: Mm—hm.



248
00:14:53,768 --> 00:14:55,884
KEVIN:
This is my wife, Veronica.



249
00:14:56,062 --> 00:14:58,769
Hello. Good afternoon.



250
00:14:58,940 --> 00:15:02,603
How you doing?
I'm Andrea Johnson from DCFS...



251
00:15:02,777 --> 00:15:04,733
...and I'm hereto observe
the home visit today.



252
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:08,772
So if everything go good,
then baby Jonah may stay overnight.



253
00:15:08,950 --> 00:15:10,986
Is your voice dressed up
for Halloween?



254
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:12,775
Excuse me?



255
00:15:12,954 --> 00:15:14,990
Think we don't know
how to, ha—ha-ha, raise a child?



256
00:15:15,164 --> 00:15:18,156
Come tell me
I don't know how to be a mother?



257
00:15:18,334 --> 00:15:20,416
ANDREA:
Uh, you got it wrong, sister girl.



258
00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:23,498
I'm here to see how Ethel mothers,
not you.



259
00:15:23,673 --> 00:15:25,664
What do you mean?
Oh, please. Have a seat.



260
00:15:25,842 --> 00:15:29,801
That girl is only 13 years old,
but she's still got her parental rights.



261
00:15:29,971 --> 00:15:33,008
I need to make sure the child
can handle the child. You feel me?



262
00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:36,049
KEVIN: Mm-hm.
-Yeah. I feel you.



263
00:15:37,645 --> 00:15:41,308
Oh, baby Jonah. Look at you.



264
00:15:41,482 --> 00:15:43,564
You're hung like a little bear, aren't you?



265
00:15:45,153 --> 00:15:46,609
Hey, Andrea?



266
00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:47,814
ANDREA: Andrea.
—Andrea.



267
00:15:47,989 --> 00:15:52,073
You think we could apply to get
baby Jonah as a foster kid too?



268
00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:54,367
ANDREA:
That's gonna be a crap load of paperwork...



269
00:15:54,537 --> 00:15:57,995
...but we do encourage keeping
family members together.



270
00:15:58,166 --> 00:15:59,497
Yay!



271
00:16:02,545 --> 00:16:04,536
[CHOIR SINGING HYMNS ON RADIO]



272
00:16:06,507 --> 00:16:08,122
All right, then.



273
00:16:08,301 --> 00:16:11,543
Uh, Eddie's just down in the basement.
He'll be right up.



274
00:16:11,721 --> 00:16:15,430
And, of course, you will all get your
shoes back when you go, so don't worry.



275
00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:18,057
It'd be great if mine
came back shined.



276
00:16:18,227 --> 00:16:20,218
[ALL LAUGHING]



277
00:16:21,063 --> 00:16:23,429
That would be great.



278
00:16:23,608 --> 00:16:25,599
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]



279
00:16:26,569 --> 00:16:28,184
But at last came a knock



280
00:16:28,362 --> 00:16:32,571
And I thought of the door
With no lock to lock.



281
00:16:33,284 --> 00:16:36,742
Robert Frost.
I was a poetry major in college.



282
00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:40,784
MAN: If you'll open your Bibles to Psalms...
SHEILA: Oh, sweetie.



283
00:16:40,958 --> 00:16:44,576
MAN: ...127 verses three to five.
SHEILA: Okay. Um....



284
00:16:44,754 --> 00:16:46,915
MAN:
"Children are a heritage of the Lord...."



285
00:16:47,089 --> 00:16:49,080
You guys...? Okay.



286
00:16:49,258 --> 00:16:50,873
Oh, sweetie.



287
00:16:52,053 --> 00:16:53,793
Oh!



288
00:16:53,971 --> 00:16:56,087
Oh, you are ripe.



289
00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:59,507
Nothing a little
Puerto Rican bath can't fix.



290
00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:01,892
Honey. Where were you last night?



291
00:17:02,063 --> 00:17:04,270
I had to spend the night with the kids.



292
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:06,601
-They needed a little Frankie time.
—Oh.



293
00:17:06,776 --> 00:17:09,893
You're such a good dad. Ha—ha-ha.



294
00:17:10,071 --> 00:17:11,186
Oh! Uh-oh. Uh-oh.



295
00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:14,276
Sorry, folks,
I had a little plumbing issue.



296
00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:16,031
The house is not mine.



297
00:17:16,202 --> 00:17:18,193
[GROUP LAUGHING]



298
00:17:52,989 --> 00:17:53,978
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]



299
00:17:54,156 --> 00:17:55,191
[DOGS BARKING]



300
00:17:55,366 --> 00:17:57,948
-Lou?
LOU: Frankie boy. How's it hanging?



301
00:17:58,119 --> 00:18:00,110
Still from the left.
Where the hell are you?



302
00:18:00,288 --> 00:18:02,745
Jesus, it's hard to take a piss
with this thing on.



303
00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:05,156
That's a lie. It was the wiping
that was tough.



304
00:18:05,334 --> 00:18:07,325
This from the escalator thing
at the mall?



305
00:18:07,503 --> 00:18:11,087
No, no, no. This is the train doors
closing on your ankle.



306
00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:14,340
-Right. I haven't been the same since.
-Yeah.



307
00:18:14,510 --> 00:18:19,550
All I need is your signature and Monica's,
and the money is all yours.



308
00:18:19,724 --> 00:18:22,591
With the exception of a third of it.
It goes to me.



309
00:18:22,768 --> 00:18:24,599
Plus expenses.



310
00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:26,476
Sounds fair.



311
00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:28,308
Me.



312
00:18:28,482 --> 00:18:29,892
And Monica.



313
00:18:30,067 --> 00:18:34,857
Yay. That was a hell of a warm-up.
Unfortunately, those aren't the originals.



314
00:18:35,031 --> 00:18:38,649
You two will have to go down to the city
legal offices and do it in person.



315
00:18:38,826 --> 00:18:42,239
What? I'm supposed to take off work
to go do this?



316
00:18:42,413 --> 00:18:44,745
Of course not, because, as you know...



317
00:18:44,915 --> 00:18:47,372
...this injury‘s prevented you
from working, remember?



318
00:18:47,543 --> 00:18:48,999
Oh, shit.



319
00:18:49,170 --> 00:18:50,660
[PAGER BEEPING]



320
00:18:50,838 --> 00:18:52,044
Hey, look at that.



321
00:18:52,214 --> 00:18:54,296
Client just went into labor.



322
00:18:54,759 --> 00:18:57,216
Is that gonna be a problem?
Getting Monica to sign?



323
00:18:57,386 --> 00:18:59,047
No. Why would it be a problem?



324
00:18:59,221 --> 00:19:02,930
Well, if memory serves,
she was a summa cum laude cunt.



325
00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:05,386
Yeah, well, she was a lot of things.



326
00:19:05,561 --> 00:19:06,846
You even know where she is?



327
00:19:07,021 --> 00:19:10,479
-I have a phone number. I'll make it happen.
-Uh-huh. I hope so.



328
00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:13,312
She's a joint claimant on this thing.
No Monica, no money.



329
00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:15,693
Do me a favor.
Feed the dogs before you go?



330
00:19:15,863 --> 00:19:18,400
Bag of dog food in my desk drawer.
Thanks, buddy.



331
00:19:18,574 --> 00:19:20,360
Yeah.



332
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:31,500
Mm!



333
00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:34,162
All right. Come on.



334
00:19:34,340 --> 00:19:35,580
Get off of her.



335
00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:40,001
LIP [ON MACHINE]: Hey, man. It's Lip.
l'rn calling you from a phone booth.



336
00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:44,092
Just hit me back at whatever number
comes up on your cell. It's important.



337
00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:52,351
[PHONE RINGS]



338
00:19:52,525 --> 00:19:55,062
Thanks for taking long enough
to let me enjoy the scent of urine.



339
00:19:55,236 --> 00:19:57,352
I didn't know phone booths
existed anymore.



340
00:19:57,530 --> 00:19:58,940
What's up? Sounded urgent.



341
00:19:59,115 --> 00:20:02,778
Yeah. Iwasjust wondering. You, uh-?



342
00:20:02,952 --> 00:20:07,537
-You think you can loan me a couple bills?
—I can pay you for a job.



343
00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:10,164
STEVE: You got a driver's license?
-Few of them, yeah.



344
00:20:10,334 --> 00:20:12,996
STEVE:
All right. Meet me by the EL at 11.



345
00:20:18,509 --> 00:20:20,500
Are you screwing my sisters boyfriend?



346
00:20:22,138 --> 00:20:25,221
If you're selling cookies,
that's a hell of an opening line.



347
00:20:26,517 --> 00:20:27,757
Do come in.



348
00:20:36,527 --> 00:20:37,733
Can I get you something?



349
00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:40,064
Milk? Soda?



350
00:20:40,948 --> 00:20:43,564
Ajoint? It's medicinal.



351
00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:46,109
No, thank you, Mrs. Lishman.



352
00:20:46,287 --> 00:20:48,073
How do you know Steve?



353
00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:50,454
Who is Steve?



354
00:20:51,041 --> 00:20:52,872
He's my sister's boyfriend.



355
00:20:53,627 --> 00:20:55,458
How nice.



356
00:20:56,797 --> 00:20:58,003
So he's not pushing it into you?



357
00:20:58,174 --> 00:20:59,459
[COUGHING]



358
00:21:01,010 --> 00:21:04,502
Hey, Mom, me and Chip are gonna
swing by the hospital to see Dad...



359
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:06,466
-...so you can relax tonight.
—0h!



360
00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:08,972
-Okay?
—Thank you, Jimmy.



361
00:21:09,143 --> 00:21:11,384
You take such good care
of your Mama Bear.



362
00:21:11,562 --> 00:21:13,223
BOTH:
Mwah!



363
00:21:14,732 --> 00:21:17,815
-Oh! Uh, this is, oh....
DEBBIE: Debbie.



364
00:21:17,985 --> 00:21:19,020
Debbie Gallagher.



365
00:21:19,987 --> 00:21:22,820
Nice to meet you. Jimmy.



366
00:21:22,990 --> 00:21:25,322
Jimmy is my youngest.



367
00:21:25,743 --> 00:21:30,112
Top of his class at Michigan
in med school.



368
00:21:30,706 --> 00:21:33,743
He is going to be
a cardiothoracic surgeon...



369
00:21:33,918 --> 00:21:37,160
...like his big brother and his daddy.



370
00:21:37,338 --> 00:21:39,329
He has been taking
such good care of me...



371
00:21:39,507 --> 00:21:42,749
...since his father went
into the hospital.



372
00:21:42,927 --> 00:21:44,042
A fender bender.



373
00:21:44,220 --> 00:21:45,960
Broke his knee cap.



374
00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:49,551
And you know,
doctors make the worst patients.



375
00:21:49,725 --> 00:21:52,967
Would you like to stay for dinner,
sweetheart?



376
00:21:53,145 --> 00:21:56,103
Oh, shit. I liked her.



377
00:21:57,066 --> 00:21:59,057
[LINE RINGING]



378
00:21:59,985 --> 00:22:03,227
MONICA [OVER PHONE]:
Hello? Hello?



379
00:22:03,405 --> 00:22:05,487
Shit! Shit!



380
00:22:05,658 --> 00:22:07,273
Shit, shit, shit!



381
00:22:08,661 --> 00:22:09,992
Frank?



382
00:22:12,289 --> 00:22:17,329
Frank, I certainly hope you're not
pooping in there. It's a closet.



383
00:22:18,254 --> 00:22:19,835
Frank?



384
00:22:25,010 --> 00:22:26,671
You didn't poop in there, did you?



385
00:22:26,846 --> 00:22:30,338
-I was waiting to surprise you.
—Oh.



386
00:22:31,350 --> 00:22:32,715
-Surprise!
-Aah!



387
00:22:32,893 --> 00:22:34,349
[BOTH LAUGH]



388
00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:36,761
You got me!



389
00:22:37,565 --> 00:22:39,146
Oh, Frankie.



390
00:22:39,316 --> 00:22:40,647
Hey, do me a favor.



391
00:22:41,277 --> 00:22:45,941
Call this number
and ask if Monica is there.



392
00:22:46,115 --> 00:22:48,948
And if she is, tell her...



393
00:22:49,285 --> 00:22:51,617
...congratu|ations, she's won.



394
00:22:51,787 --> 00:22:53,698
Who's Monica?



395
00:22:54,164 --> 00:22:56,576
-Doesn't matter.
—What'd she win?



396
00:22:56,792 --> 00:23:01,081
Uh, I don't know, whatever.
A lottery. Something.



397
00:23:01,255 --> 00:23:03,166
-Lottery?
-A prize.



398
00:23:03,340 --> 00:23:04,705
A teddy bear.



399
00:23:06,135 --> 00:23:07,170
What for?



400
00:23:07,344 --> 00:23:10,211
Jesus, with the questions already.



401
00:23:10,389 --> 00:23:13,756
Just call. Say it's a teddy bear.
And a hundred bucks.



402
00:23:13,934 --> 00:23:17,472
And she has to pick it up.
Just say that.



403
00:23:18,606 --> 00:23:20,142
Well...



404
00:23:20,649 --> 00:23:22,685
...I hope this Monica...



405
00:23:22,860 --> 00:23:25,101
...whoever she is...



406
00:23:25,279 --> 00:23:29,943
...worked really hard for this prize.



407
00:23:32,286 --> 00:23:34,242
FRANK: Sheils.
-I didn't get a teddy bear.



408
00:23:34,413 --> 00:23:38,031
Sheil. Shit.



409
00:23:38,751 --> 00:23:40,082
[SOFT KNOCKING ON DOOR]



410
00:23:42,796 --> 00:23:44,832
He)’:



411
00:23:45,883 --> 00:23:47,999
He)’:



412
00:23:48,177 --> 00:23:50,884
Come on.



413
00:23:54,099 --> 00:23:58,217
She didn't really win a teddy bear.



414
00:23:58,395 --> 00:24:00,260
But you wanna know what?



415
00:24:00,439 --> 00:24:02,646
If I was giving away teddy bears...



416
00:24:02,816 --> 00:24:07,606
...you would be absolutely
top of the list.



417
00:24:07,780 --> 00:24:09,771
[SHEILA SOBBING]



418
00:24:20,459 --> 00:24:22,450
[FRANK HUMMING]



419
00:24:26,048 --> 00:24:29,711
If you will do this for me...



420
00:24:29,885 --> 00:24:32,718
...I will dress up any way you want.



421
00:24:34,139 --> 00:24:36,130
No safety word.



422
00:24:38,185 --> 00:24:39,595
Is this Monica?



423
00:24:42,731 --> 00:24:46,895
Well, hello. This is Sheila
from Market Promotions.



424
00:24:47,069 --> 00:24:51,312
Can I ask you where you do
all of your grocery shopping?



425
00:24:52,616 --> 00:24:54,823
Well, yes. That's right.



426
00:24:54,994 --> 00:24:59,203
You've won. First prize.
Congratulations.



427
00:24:59,623 --> 00:25:01,989
It's $100.



428
00:25:02,167 --> 00:25:03,247
-And a teddy bear.
—Yes.



429
00:25:03,419 --> 00:25:05,125
-And-- What?
—Teddy bear.



430
00:25:05,295 --> 00:25:07,160
-Teddy bear.
-And a teddy bear!



431
00:25:07,339 --> 00:25:10,752
And a great big teddy bear.



432
00:25:12,511 --> 00:25:13,546
Hello?



433
00:25:13,721 --> 00:25:15,757
-What?
-Yeah.



434
00:25:15,931 --> 00:25:19,298
-She's crying.
-Oh, fuck.



435
00:25:19,476 --> 00:25:22,138
Yeah. No, I've never won
anything either.



436
00:25:22,312 --> 00:25:23,472
No one cares.



437
00:25:23,647 --> 00:25:27,356
-It's so great. Yeah. I'm thrilled.
-Zip it.



438
00:25:27,526 --> 00:25:28,891
I'm thrilled for you.



439
00:25:29,069 --> 00:25:30,275
Get to the fucking point.



440
00:25:30,446 --> 00:25:35,065
Anyway, prizes will be given out at 3:00.



441
00:25:35,659 --> 00:25:37,866
At the store.



442
00:25:38,495 --> 00:25:39,610
Yes.



443
00:25:40,247 --> 00:25:43,739
WGN's own Tom Skilling
will be presenting.



444
00:25:43,917 --> 00:25:45,532
FRANK:
What? What?



445
00:25:47,212 --> 00:25:48,668
She doesn't know Tom Skilling.



446
00:25:48,839 --> 00:25:51,171
—I don't know Tom Skilling.
-He does the weather.



447
00:25:51,341 --> 00:25:54,208
Tom Skilling does the weather on WGN.



448
00:25:54,386 --> 00:25:56,798
Anyway, 3:00 on the dot.



449
00:25:56,972 --> 00:25:59,338
-Jim Ramsey might be there too.
-Oh, Jesus Christ.



450
00:25:59,516 --> 00:26:01,472
-He does weekend weather. Okay.
—Hang up.



451
00:26:01,643 --> 00:26:03,634
Congratulations.
See you there, Monica.



452
00:26:03,812 --> 00:26:05,552
What did she say? Is she coming?



453
00:26:05,731 --> 00:26:09,519
How can you not know who
two of Chicago's weathermen are?



454
00:26:09,693 --> 00:26:11,354
What kind of person is this Monica?



455
00:26:11,528 --> 00:26:14,440
Is she coming to get
the fucking prize or not?



456
00:26:14,615 --> 00:26:17,106
Yeah. She~ Oh, she's going.



457
00:26:17,284 --> 00:26:20,401
She's excited about that teddy bear.



458
00:26:31,673 --> 00:26:37,339
You know, not sure I can prove it,
but I think it's colder on the North Side.



459
00:26:38,555 --> 00:26:40,841
Let me take you home, Debs.



460
00:26:41,016 --> 00:26:43,507
I'm not supposed to take rides
from strangers...



461
00:26:43,685 --> 00:26:46,051
...and it's clear that you are a stranger.



462
00:26:46,688 --> 00:26:48,644
Oh, man.



463
00:26:49,066 --> 00:26:50,931
Are you gonna tell Fiona?



464
00:26:51,110 --> 00:26:53,522
Exactly what am I supposed to tell her?



465
00:26:54,113 --> 00:26:56,069
That your name isn't Steve?



466
00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:58,947
That you have a family in Chicago
she's never met?



467
00:26:59,159 --> 00:27:02,447
Or that your mom kisses you on the lips?
Which is really gross.



468
00:27:02,621 --> 00:27:04,987
Life gets really complicated
when you're an adult.



469
00:27:05,165 --> 00:27:09,204
I mean, you can't possibly understand
these things right now.



470
00:27:10,963 --> 00:27:15,002
I understand that you lied
to my sister. Why?



471
00:27:15,175 --> 00:27:18,212
Because I was raised
by a pack of wolves.



472
00:27:18,804 --> 00:27:21,921
Just like you were.
Only my wolves went to Harvard.



473
00:27:22,099 --> 00:27:24,090
They have red wolves at Lincoln Park Zoo.



474
00:27:24,268 --> 00:27:26,850
Maybe we could go
check them out sometime.



475
00:27:27,020 --> 00:27:29,727
Trying to distract me
by asking me out on a date?



476
00:27:29,898 --> 00:27:33,516
I do not wanna be a doctor.
I do not wanna be like the rest of my family.



477
00:27:33,694 --> 00:27:37,812
What I want is Fiona. I love her.



478
00:27:39,449 --> 00:27:42,782
Love is fleeting, Jimmy.
What are your intentions?



479
00:27:42,953 --> 00:27:46,912
You're distracting her, and I need her
in the game for at least a few more years.



480
00:27:47,666 --> 00:27:51,158
I can't have you breaking her heart
or running off with her.



481
00:27:51,336 --> 00:27:55,295
So if you're not serious about
sticking around, back off now.



482
00:27:56,216 --> 00:28:00,004
I bought her a house.
Is that serious enough?



483
00:28:00,179 --> 00:28:01,589
You what?



484
00:28:02,806 --> 00:28:04,717
Come on. I'll show you.



485
00:28:17,446 --> 00:28:18,561
-Really?
-Yeah.



486
00:28:18,739 --> 00:28:20,149
DEBBIE:
Yes! Yes!



487
00:28:20,324 --> 00:28:21,780
This was Mr. Harris’ house.



488
00:28:21,950 --> 00:28:25,613
They said he died of lung cancer, but
we're pretty sure it was full-blown AIDS.



489
00:28:28,790 --> 00:28:31,953
OIL my God!



490
00:28:32,127 --> 00:28:34,914
-Has Fiona seen it?
-No, she doesn't know about it yet.



491
00:28:35,088 --> 00:28:38,376
I was gonna fix it up a bit
and surprise her when the time is right.



492
00:28:40,135 --> 00:28:42,251
Think we could build
an aboveground walkway...



493
00:28:42,429 --> 00:28:43,965
...that connects the two houses?



494
00:28:44,139 --> 00:28:45,424
What, like a Habitrail tube?



495
00:28:46,099 --> 00:28:48,135
That would be awesome.



496
00:28:49,186 --> 00:28:50,892
Are you gonna tell Fiona?



497
00:28:54,775 --> 00:28:56,561
Don't know yet, Jimmy.



498
00:28:56,735 --> 00:28:59,226
Saw a really cool pink vest at the mall.



499
00:28:59,404 --> 00:29:00,769
Really?



500
00:29:00,948 --> 00:29:03,439
And I could use a new rolling pin
and flour sifter.



501
00:29:03,617 --> 00:29:05,903
Sheila's teaching me how to bake.



502
00:29:06,536 --> 00:29:07,616
Anything else?



503
00:29:10,290 --> 00:29:11,746
Not for the moment.



504
00:29:11,917 --> 00:29:15,751
So which room would be mine
when I sleep over?



505
00:29:18,090 --> 00:29:20,081
[PHONE RINGING]



506
00:29:27,015 --> 00:29:30,132
Not going out
with that Gallagher degenerate tonight?



507
00:29:31,520 --> 00:29:34,887
Good. You deserve better.



508
00:29:35,065 --> 00:29:37,772
I've been reading more
about this purity-ball thing.



509
00:29:37,943 --> 00:29:41,026
It says here you can
rededicate yourself as a virgin.



510
00:29:41,196 --> 00:29:43,528
Start over. Isn't that nice?



511
00:29:47,786 --> 00:29:50,698
I mean, you show up,
you confess your transgressions...



512
00:29:50,872 --> 00:29:54,831
...and pledge yourself to be pure again
in the eyes of the Lord.



513
00:29:57,129 --> 00:29:58,369
I'll give you the damn car.



514
00:30:00,924 --> 00:30:01,959
Really?



515
00:30:13,186 --> 00:30:16,974
Fiona would be pissed if she knew
you were into this shit with me.



516
00:30:17,816 --> 00:30:20,808
Well, what she doesn't know
won't hurt her, right?



517
00:30:21,903 --> 00:30:25,395
All right. Task at hand,
you'll be driving the follow car.



518
00:30:25,574 --> 00:30:28,065
Golden rule: always use a follow car.



519
00:30:28,243 --> 00:30:31,906
-Hey, silver Mercedes.
-And a security camera at the intersection.



520
00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:34,787
Why don't we head up to some
asshole town like Lake Forest?



521
00:30:34,958 --> 00:30:36,368
-Plenty of douche-mobiles.
-No.



522
00:30:36,543 --> 00:30:38,249
-I was thinking-—
—Listen. No.



523
00:30:38,420 --> 00:30:41,082
Two hundred bucks
to follow me after I lift the car.



524
00:30:41,256 --> 00:30:44,464
You get your concert tickets,
I get my work done. That's it. Okay?



525
00:30:44,634 --> 00:30:45,714
All right, man.



526
00:30:50,349 --> 00:30:52,010
Shit.



527
00:30:52,184 --> 00:30:57,520
Rule number two: always remember
where you parked the follow car.



528
00:31:10,952 --> 00:31:12,533
Fuck.



529
00:31:28,887 --> 00:31:30,798
Monica.



530
00:31:44,903 --> 00:31:45,938
Monica?



531
00:32:05,924 --> 00:32:07,130
Deb.



532
00:32:07,676 --> 00:32:09,337
Jimmy.



533
00:32:09,970 --> 00:32:12,382
Fiona's next door with Liam.



534
00:32:12,806 --> 00:32:14,512
That my shut-up gift?



535
00:32:14,683 --> 00:32:18,016
Well, I like to think of it
as a peace offering.



536
00:32:18,186 --> 00:32:21,428
A peace offering implies
a one-time thing.



537
00:32:21,606 --> 00:32:24,348
This could take a while.



538
00:32:24,526 --> 00:32:25,811
How long?



539
00:32:26,570 --> 00:32:29,607
Until I'm sure that you're not still lying.



540
00:32:30,615 --> 00:32:31,695
okay-



541
00:32:31,867 --> 00:32:35,030
I gotta get back up to Lake Forest.
They're releasing my dad.



542
00:32:35,203 --> 00:32:39,196
I'm gonna take him home.
You know everything there is to know.



543
00:32:39,374 --> 00:32:43,242
No more secrets. I promise.



544
00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:47,337
Sifter sifts and rolling pin rolls.



545
00:32:48,133 --> 00:32:50,374
Nice when things do
what they say they will.



546
00:32:57,893 --> 00:32:59,975
-Jimmy.
—Steve.



547
00:33:00,145 --> 00:33:02,306
-Is this your idea of a joke?
MAN: No, ma'am.



548
00:33:02,481 --> 00:33:04,847
Because you're scared
of women with an opinion.



549
00:33:05,025 --> 00:33:06,105
MAN: No.
—Yeah?



550
00:33:06,276 --> 00:33:09,894
Yeah? Watch this, crinkIe—dick.
Oh, yeah, I'll show you what's funny...



551
00:33:10,071 --> 00:33:13,029
...when I rip your fucking face
off your fucking head!



552
00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:16,237
-Bob. Bob. No. No. No.
BOB: Out of the way, Monica.



553
00:33:16,411 --> 00:33:18,367
—Get out of my way! Out of the way, now.



554
00:33:18,538 --> 00:33:21,154
MONICA:
Put the shovel down. Let's just leave.



555
00:33:21,333 --> 00:33:23,949
-Just go.
-I'm sorry.



556
00:33:24,127 --> 00:33:25,958
BOB:
Who lies about a teddy bear?



557
00:33:26,588 --> 00:33:29,500
Wasting my fucking time!
Are you sure this is the right store?



558
00:33:29,674 --> 00:33:31,756
-Yes!
-Did they specifically say this store?



559
00:33:31,927 --> 00:33:35,920
Yes! I told you. Yes. I wrote it down.
I wrote everything down.



560
00:33:36,097 --> 00:33:39,089
Stop talking to me like I'm stupid.



561
00:33:46,816 --> 00:33:49,182
Frank?



562
00:33:50,946 --> 00:33:53,107
-Frank!
BOB: What?



563
00:33:53,281 --> 00:33:55,693
MONICA:
Frank!



564
00:33:59,955 --> 00:34:01,320
Start the car!



565
00:34:01,498 --> 00:34:03,034
KEVIN:
What?



566
00:34:03,416 --> 00:34:05,782
-Go, go, go!
KEVIN: What the fuck, Frank?



567
00:34:05,961 --> 00:34:07,747
-She saw me.
—What's going on?



568
00:34:09,422 --> 00:34:11,583
FRANK: Come on!
We gotta get out of here! Go!



569
00:34:19,474 --> 00:34:21,886
I'm gonna rip it off when I catch you!



570
00:34:24,563 --> 00:34:27,805
—Can't this piece of shit go any faster?
-No!



571
00:34:28,567 --> 00:34:30,649
Monica's batting for the other team.



572
00:34:30,819 --> 00:34:32,605
KEVIN: What?
FRANK: My wife's a lesbian.



573
00:34:32,779 --> 00:34:33,939
KEVIN:
Shit!



574
00:34:36,491 --> 00:34:37,776
[TRUCK HORN HONKS]



575
00:34:47,168 --> 00:34:49,284
-No. No. No.
-Shut up, Frank.



576
00:34:49,462 --> 00:34:51,077
FRANK:
No. No.



577
00:34:57,596 --> 00:34:59,962
Fuck off, lesbosl



578
00:35:00,140 --> 00:35:01,346
[KEVIN LAUGHS]



579
00:35:01,516 --> 00:35:06,681
Okay. My advice to you would be to let
Fiona live in her own relationship.



580
00:35:06,855 --> 00:35:08,891
You can't do it for her.



581
00:35:09,065 --> 00:35:10,601
There's things she should know.



582
00:35:10,775 --> 00:35:14,267
Well, sometimes, sweetie,
when people are in love...



583
00:35:14,446 --> 00:35:17,904
...they don't tell someone
everything for a reason.



584
00:35:18,074 --> 00:35:19,610
That's like lying.



585
00:35:19,784 --> 00:35:24,869
No, sweetie, it's just»-
It's a little editing.



586
00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:31,502
Now, by sifting, see, we separate
and aerate those fiour particles...



587
00:35:31,671 --> 00:35:34,834
...to make them absorb liquids better.



588
00:35:35,008 --> 00:35:37,465
Someone should sift my dad.



589
00:35:37,636 --> 00:35:41,424
Ha, ha. You Gallaghers.
You're all so funny.



590
00:35:42,140 --> 00:35:45,849
KEVIN: Frank! This is bullshit!
FRANK: Lock the door! Lock the door!



591
00:35:46,019 --> 00:35:48,510
What is happening?!



592
00:35:48,688 --> 00:35:50,474
DEBBIE: It's okay.
-I thought we lost them.



593
00:35:50,649 --> 00:35:52,685
Did you even have a plan back there?



594
00:35:52,859 --> 00:35:56,727
I was going to charm her into signing
once she was there.



595
00:35:56,905 --> 00:35:59,066
How was I supposed to know
she would show up...



596
00:35:59,240 --> 00:36:02,198
...with ghetto Godzilla in a Peterbilt?



597
00:36:02,369 --> 00:36:05,532
I am seriously this close
to punching you in the dick.



598
00:36:18,134 --> 00:36:20,250
Get-- They're just girls.



599
00:36:20,428 --> 00:36:22,544
Stop. You talk to them.



600
00:36:22,722 --> 00:36:25,088
I need the key to the back door.



601
00:36:25,266 --> 00:36:28,008
That is not a sexual euphemism.
I need the fucking key.



602
00:36:28,186 --> 00:36:29,551
What did you do with it?



603
00:36:29,729 --> 00:36:31,720
I don't know.
I can't think when you yell!



604
00:36:31,898 --> 00:36:33,684
I'm not! What did you do with the key?



605
00:36:33,858 --> 00:36:36,816
-You're still yelling.
-I need the key, Sheila!



606
00:36:36,986 --> 00:36:40,228
Okay. It's by the-- It's by the-
It's by the washing machine.



607
00:36:40,407 --> 00:36:42,568
FRANK: It's not by the washing machine.
SHEILA: It is.



608
00:36:42,742 --> 00:36:46,030
-I put it by the washing machine.
FRANK: It's not by....



609
00:36:46,204 --> 00:36:47,660
Morn.



610
00:36:50,083 --> 00:36:52,620
It's Mom.



611
00:37:01,261 --> 00:37:03,252
MONICA:
Debbie.



612
00:37:04,973 --> 00:37:08,090
My sweet pea.



613
00:37:24,159 --> 00:37:27,651
What the fuck are you looking at?



614
00:37:31,916 --> 00:37:33,577
-I got nothing to do with it.
—Sit.



615
00:37:33,752 --> 00:37:36,209
-I'm just the driver.
-Sit your ass down.



616
00:37:43,303 --> 00:37:48,423
That was a nasty trick.
Even for you, Frank.



617
00:37:48,600 --> 00:37:50,841
I had my heart set on that teddy bear.



618
00:37:51,019 --> 00:37:54,682
Poor Monica.
Well, what about your kids?



619
00:37:54,856 --> 00:37:57,188
Remember? The six kids?



620
00:37:57,358 --> 00:38:00,145
Youngest was only 2 months old
before you ran off...



621
00:38:00,320 --> 00:38:03,027
...ended up with fucking Shrek here.



622
00:38:03,198 --> 00:38:07,612
-You want me to step in?
-No. I didn't leave you, Frank.



623
00:38:07,786 --> 00:38:08,866
Yes, you did.



624
00:38:09,037 --> 00:38:13,371
I didn't choose to leave my family.
You almost destroyed me.



625
00:38:13,541 --> 00:38:15,452
When I turned up at Roberta's
that night...



626
00:38:15,627 --> 00:38:17,618
-...I was an emotional cripple.
BOB: Emotional cripple.



627
00:38:17,796 --> 00:38:20,037
—With not one ounce of self-respect.
-Bullshit.



628
00:38:20,215 --> 00:38:24,504
-I'm gonna start crying.
-You drove me into the ground, Frank.



629
00:38:24,677 --> 00:38:31,139
You robbed me
of any sense of dignity I ever had and....



630
00:38:32,268 --> 00:38:33,678
Where's the rest of the kids?



631
00:38:33,853 --> 00:38:37,516
-They're out playing.
-They live down at Fiona's.



632
00:38:39,943 --> 00:38:41,899
You mind putting some bags on?



633
00:38:42,070 --> 00:38:44,152
Can you put some bags
on your feet, please?



634
00:38:44,322 --> 00:38:48,065
BOB: Bags on my feet?
SHEILA: Yeah, I need you to put bags on.



635
00:39:05,385 --> 00:39:08,422
VERONICA: Don't, don't, don't.
-Hell hath no fury like popcorn burned.



636
00:39:08,596 --> 00:39:09,676
LIP:
All right.



637
00:39:09,848 --> 00:39:11,554
VERONICA: Steve coming?
-Hope so.



638
00:39:11,724 --> 00:39:14,215
Are you guys gonna make a baby
while we watch Cosmos?



639
00:39:14,394 --> 00:39:16,180
Because that's gonna
make me throw up.



640
00:39:16,354 --> 00:39:19,687
—BiI|ions and billions of sperm.
-Ew!



641
00:39:20,650 --> 00:39:25,565
-Can you please turn it on already?
-Yeah, hurry up, I gotta get back to work.



642
00:39:25,738 --> 00:39:26,853
Cool.



643
00:39:27,031 --> 00:39:28,441
SAGAN [ON TV]:
Shaped our evoIution--



644
00:39:28,616 --> 00:39:29,651
He)’:



645
00:39:29,826 --> 00:39:31,566
—-and what our fate may be.



646
00:39:31,744 --> 00:39:33,700
-Missed you, stranger.
-You too.



647
00:39:36,291 --> 00:39:37,531
Get a room.



648
00:39:37,709 --> 00:39:39,825
STEVE: Get your tickets?
LIP: Yeah. Thanks.



649
00:39:40,295 --> 00:39:42,035
STEVE:
Glad I could help.



650
00:39:42,213 --> 00:39:43,453
Glad you're glad.



651
00:39:43,631 --> 00:39:44,746
Steve.



652
00:39:44,924 --> 00:39:46,664
STEVE:
Boy.



653
00:39:46,843 --> 00:39:48,708
This popcorn's burnt.



654
00:39:48,887 --> 00:39:50,423
Our microwave sucks.



655
00:39:50,597 --> 00:39:52,883
It doesn't mean I want you
to buy us a new one.



656
00:39:53,057 --> 00:39:55,890
SAGAN [ON TV]:
—unlverses smaller than atoms.



657
00:39:56,060 --> 00:39:58,426
-But it's also a story of our own planet...
FIONA: Debs?



658
00:39:58,605 --> 00:40:00,220
...and the plants and animals....



659
00:40:00,398 --> 00:40:03,811
-Honey, what happened?
LIP: Dad have one too many again?



660
00:40:04,777 --> 00:40:06,893
You just gotta ignore him
when he's like that, Debs.



661
00:40:07,822 --> 00:40:09,813
Why do you always blame Dad first?



662
00:40:09,991 --> 00:40:11,231
Who else is there?



663
00:40:11,409 --> 00:40:13,320
[LIAM BABBLES]



664
00:40:13,494 --> 00:40:15,030
She's over at Sheila's.



665
00:40:15,747 --> 00:40:18,113
-Who?
-Monica.



666
00:40:18,291 --> 00:40:21,158
SAGAN [ON TV]:
—-exquisite interrelationships...



667
00:40:21,336 --> 00:40:23,622
...of the awesome machinery of nature.



668
00:40:24,547 --> 00:40:26,959
—Who the hell is Monica?
-Our mother.



669
00:40:27,133 --> 00:40:29,294
SAGAN [ON TV]:
-shore of the cosmic ocean.



670
00:40:29,469 --> 00:40:30,675
On this shore....



671
00:40:30,845 --> 00:40:35,305
FIONA: Debs, did you s--?
DEBBIE: What do you care?



672
00:40:35,475 --> 00:40:39,059
You'll be living with Steve
in that house he bought next door.



673
00:40:45,985 --> 00:40:48,317
Surprise.



674
00:40:49,030 --> 00:40:51,817
SAGAN:
Because the cosmos is also within us.



675
00:40:51,991 --> 00:40:53,856
We're made of stars. We are....



676
00:40:54,035 --> 00:40:57,527
-I'm going to work.
-Ian, come on. Wait.



677
00:41:00,208 --> 00:41:02,870
LIAM:
Mommy. Mommy.



678
00:41:03,044 --> 00:41:04,580
STEVE:
I know.



679
00:41:04,754 --> 00:41:09,293
Mommy.



680
00:41:27,568 --> 00:41:28,683
What the fuck?



681
00:41:28,861 --> 00:41:31,273
-I need to see you.
-Not a good time.



682
00:41:31,447 --> 00:41:35,110
TERRY: Who keeps hanging
their fucking laundry on my pull—up bar?



683
00:41:35,284 --> 00:41:37,024
I don't know where else to go.



684
00:41:38,746 --> 00:41:41,078
I thought you were working today.



685
00:41:41,916 --> 00:41:46,000
Linda's gonna have my ass.
I'm supposed to be there now.



686
00:41:46,838 --> 00:41:48,578
I'll meet you there in 20.



687
00:41:52,385 --> 00:41:54,216
-Aw, bullshit!
—Yes!



688
00:41:54,387 --> 00:41:57,595
-You physically abused me.
—What? When?



689
00:41:57,765 --> 00:41:59,847
-That 4th of July.
-Oh, come on!



690
00:42:00,018 --> 00:42:02,805
You hit me in the face
with a tray of apple pandowdy.



691
00:42:02,979 --> 00:42:04,560
And you hit me back.



692
00:42:04,731 --> 00:42:07,723
Yeah, after you broke my nose
and scratched my cornea.



693
00:42:07,900 --> 00:42:09,390
Oh, yeah? What about this?



694
00:42:09,569 --> 00:42:11,400
Oh, come on! You started that one!



695
00:42:11,571 --> 00:42:13,732
And I'll finish it
if you lay a finger on her.



696
00:42:13,906 --> 00:42:16,522
SHEILA: Roberta.
-"Bob.“ Only Moni calls me Roberta.



697
00:42:17,118 --> 00:42:21,202
All right. Well, Bob,
perhaps we're just in the way here.



698
00:42:21,372 --> 00:42:27,163
And we should make our exit
and leave Monica for her apologies.



699
00:42:27,336 --> 00:42:30,703
Apologies? For walking out
on this piece of shit?



700
00:42:30,882 --> 00:42:33,794
No. For walking out on them.



701
00:42:39,891 --> 00:42:42,257
Oh, my God.



702
00:42:42,810 --> 00:42:46,473
It's all right. I'm not one of yours.
Just came to rubberneck.



703
00:42:50,651 --> 00:42:52,642
[BOTH GRUNTING]



704
00:42:54,155 --> 00:42:56,316
[YELLS]



705
00:42:56,491 --> 00:42:58,231
Ian! I did it!



706
00:42:58,409 --> 00:43:01,651
Linda's pregnant! Ian!



707
00:43:01,829 --> 00:43:04,036
Finally knocked her up!
Where are you? I did it!



708
00:43:04,624 --> 00:43:06,114
It's over!



709
00:43:06,292 --> 00:43:07,907
[GRUNTING]



710
00:43:14,175 --> 00:43:16,291
What the fuck?



711
00:43:28,648 --> 00:43:30,639
[BABBLING]



712
00:43:35,154 --> 00:43:36,644
MONICA:
You're all so big.



713
00:43:36,823 --> 00:43:38,438
Thank you.



714
00:43:39,408 --> 00:43:41,945
I missed you so much.



715
00:43:43,788 --> 00:43:45,494
Why didn't you take us with you?



716
00:43:48,543 --> 00:43:50,909
MONICA:
Because...



717
00:43:51,087 --> 00:43:54,045
...I knew you'd be fine with Fiona.



718
00:44:21,909 --> 00:44:24,241
Fucking right,
you keep your mouth shut.



719
00:44:28,457 --> 00:44:29,867
You better keep it shut.



720
00:44:32,086 --> 00:44:33,201
You hear me?



721
00:44:34,505 --> 00:44:36,837
Put the candy back, Mickey.



722
00:44:40,845 --> 00:44:43,632
Mm. That's sweet.



723
00:44:44,140 --> 00:44:46,051
I like them sweet.



724
00:44:47,101 --> 00:44:52,141
But then, uh, so do you, huh? Ha, ha.



725
00:44:52,315 --> 00:44:56,934
Put it back. Now.



726
00:45:00,948 --> 00:45:02,108
Fuck.



727
00:45:03,534 --> 00:45:06,697
-Kash, what are you doing?
-It's a fucking Snickers bar.



728
00:45:07,663 --> 00:45:10,245
MICKEY: Fuck!
IAN: Holy shit!



729
00:45:10,875 --> 00:45:14,083
MICKEY: Jesus Chr—-
IAN: Okay.



730
00:45:14,253 --> 00:45:15,584
-You okay?
-Fuck.



731
00:45:16,881 --> 00:45:20,248
-Hey. Hey. Listen to me. Look at me.
-You fucking suck!



732
00:45:27,475 --> 00:45:29,557
LIP:
I thought you were at work.



733
00:45:30,895 --> 00:45:32,635
There was a shooting.



734
00:45:32,813 --> 00:45:34,223
Mickey and Kash.



735
00:45:34,649 --> 00:45:36,890
Holy shit. Mickey shot Kash?



736
00:45:37,068 --> 00:45:39,275
-Kash shot Mickey.
—What?



737
00:45:39,445 --> 00:45:43,654
In the leg. He's fine. Just wanted to get
out of there before the cops got there.



738
00:45:43,824 --> 00:45:45,155
:};:=.-E



739
00:45:45,660 --> 00:45:47,742
What'd I miss with Mom?



740
00:45:47,912 --> 00:45:51,404
Well, you know how Dad's
a total fucking asshole?



741
00:45:51,582 --> 00:45:52,697
Yeah.



742
00:45:52,875 --> 00:45:55,241
Turns out he's the good one.



743
00:45:55,419 --> 00:45:58,126
I can't believe you sucked me
back in here for money.



744
00:45:58,297 --> 00:46:00,583
I did no such thing!



745
00:46:01,342 --> 00:46:04,675
But since you're in town,
why don't you sign up for this little thing...



746
00:46:04,845 --> 00:46:07,086
-...and I'll cut you in.
MONICA: Fuck you, Frank!



747
00:46:07,265 --> 00:46:08,846
Wait. You brought her back here?



748
00:46:09,976 --> 00:46:11,136
Oh, Ian.



749
00:46:11,310 --> 00:46:13,847
Wait. You knew where
she was the whole time?



750
00:46:14,021 --> 00:46:17,229
This little reunion was bound to happen
sooner or later, anyway.



751
00:46:17,400 --> 00:46:20,016
We were thinking about
coming around to talk to you.



752
00:46:20,194 --> 00:46:22,560
-No, no. Not now.
BOB: Yes, now! Yes, now!



753
00:46:22,738 --> 00:46:24,979
Mon! and I wanna take Liam
to live with us.



754
00:46:25,157 --> 00:46:26,897
-What?
—Over my dead body!



755
00:46:27,076 --> 00:46:30,864
How about Moni sign whatever
the hell it is you need, we get Liam?



756
00:46:31,038 --> 00:46:32,653
-Done.
-No fucking way!



757
00:46:32,832 --> 00:46:34,072
You can't have Liam.



758
00:46:34,250 --> 00:46:36,536
Why the hell not?
He's not even Frank's.



759
00:46:36,711 --> 00:46:38,622
Fact is Liam is black.



760
00:46:38,796 --> 00:46:41,037
All you white folks
scooping up black babies...



761
00:46:41,215 --> 00:46:44,082
...like fashion accessories
have a rude awakening coming.



762
00:46:44,260 --> 00:46:48,128
No. There will be a backlash
if people don't stop underestimating...



763
00:46:48,306 --> 00:46:52,766
...the cultural importance
of a black parent raising a black baby.



764
00:46:52,935 --> 00:46:55,768
Liam needs me
and he's coming with us.



765
00:46:55,938 --> 00:46:58,054
No. Out of the fucking question,
Roberta.



766
00:46:58,232 --> 00:47:00,723
Roberta and I wanna start
a family of our own.



767
00:47:00,901 --> 00:47:02,892
How about you finish this one first?



768
00:47:03,070 --> 00:47:04,435
-Taking Liam?
BOB: Yes!



769
00:47:04,613 --> 00:47:09,698
-No. Nobody's taking anyone anywhere.
-You don't get to abandon your kids...



770
00:47:09,869 --> 00:47:12,781
...and then show up one day
to take your pick of the litter.



771
00:47:12,955 --> 00:47:14,991
Oh, now, that's not fair.



772
00:47:15,166 --> 00:47:18,078
Your mother's made mistakes,
but she's here now.



773
00:47:18,252 --> 00:47:21,790
-That's got to count for something.
FIONA: Shut up, Frank!



774
00:47:22,173 --> 00:47:24,255
This isn't about you.



775
00:47:24,884 --> 00:47:26,420
This is about you.



776
00:47:26,594 --> 00:47:29,051
This is about what you didn't do.



777
00:47:29,472 --> 00:47:31,008
It's about what I did.



778
00:47:31,182 --> 00:47:35,596
And you know what?
I did a fucking great job.



779
00:47:35,770 --> 00:47:37,476
Debbie is class president.



780
00:47:37,646 --> 00:47:40,604
She's on the debate team
going to nationals.



781
00:47:40,775 --> 00:47:43,312
And Lip, he's top of his class.



782
00:47:43,486 --> 00:47:45,101
He set the curve.



783
00:47:45,279 --> 00:47:48,863
Ian was promoted in ROTC
and he tested out of English.



784
00:47:49,033 --> 00:47:53,777
And Car! made something blow up for
his science fair. And you know what?



785
00:47:53,954 --> 00:47:58,118
They did it all, no thanks to you,
because you weren't here.



786
00:47:58,626 --> 00:48:03,586
And I appreciate that, Fiona,
but I'm here now...



787
00:48:03,756 --> 00:48:07,590
...and Liam belongs with me.



788
00:48:07,760 --> 00:48:09,921
-He doesn't even know who you are.
—I'm his mother!



789
00:48:10,096 --> 00:48:12,132
You were my mother too!



790
00:48:12,306 --> 00:48:14,638
[LIAM BABBLING]



791
00:48:16,644 --> 00:48:18,054
LIAM:
I don't! I don't know!



792
00:48:18,229 --> 00:48:21,642
Maybe I'll never be able
to make things right with you...



793
00:48:23,651 --> 00:48:26,142
...but there's still time with Liam.



794
00:48:27,363 --> 00:48:29,820
And, Debbie and Carl...



795
00:48:29,990 --> 00:48:32,652
...I am so sorry if I hurt you.



796
00:48:34,161 --> 00:48:37,619
Please. I love you so much.



797
00:48:37,790 --> 00:48:40,406
Please let me be your mommy again.



798
00:48:40,751 --> 00:48:42,366
Please.



799
00:48:48,008 --> 00:48:49,339
MONICA:
Oh!



800
00:48:54,014 --> 00:48:55,220
FIONA:
You know what?



801
00:48:57,393 --> 00:48:58,849
You're right.



802
00:48:59,854 --> 00:49:01,640
You are their mother.



803
00:49:02,189 --> 00:49:05,647
And you're here now, so I'm done.



804
00:49:05,818 --> 00:49:09,857
I'm done with the school
and the bills and the clinics.



805
00:49:10,030 --> 00:49:11,611
I'm done.



806
00:49:12,616 --> 00:49:14,902
They're all yours now, Mom.



807
00:49:15,494 --> 00:49:17,325
Good luck.



808
00:49:23,627 --> 00:49:25,333
It's okay.



809
00:49:52,573 --> 00:49:53,983
STEVE:
Come here.



810
00:49:59,163 --> 00:50:00,778
FIONA:
Show me the house?



811
00:50:00,956 --> 00:50:02,321
STEVE:
Yeah.



812
00:50:43,374 --> 00:50:45,365
[English - US - SDH]