For those of you who were too fucking busy...
...this is what happened last week on Shameless.
-I left them. -You fuck!
LIP: This your home now?
First time in my life I ever felt like I actually belonged.
LIP: What is it like with my dad living at your house?
-Weird. -It's only gonna get weirder.
[TONY & FIONA PANTING]
-Last night was my ﬁrst time. -You mean with me?
-Virgin? -Yep,
Aunt Ginger has to go back?
-Don't make her go. -She doesn't belong to us.
VERONICA: Old guy next door died in March, which I guess makes us neighbors.
-Where‘s my damn toaster? -Leave me alone.
You would not be so pissed off if you didn't care.
I saw the way you looked at Steve like a D-O-G in heat.
My mom heard about it. She invited you to dinner.
HGYA
DEBBIE: Aw, Heh.
Sweet baby.
Put a scarf on.
[CHUCKLES]
Debbie, come in and eat breakfast, okay?
You're up next in the shower.
I wanna play for a while. Ask Carl if he'll get in the stroller.
Last time, you were locked in the basement for a day.
On purpose. We were playing Loser Goes to Gitmo.
Let's go. And put that stroller back in the garbage.
Oh, my God. That's, uh.... It's dead.
-You sure? -Uh-huh. The element's rusted out.
Anyone wanna make some cookies with me?
-How much to replace it? LIP: Uh....
-Two bills used, four new. FIONA: Shit.
How about pie? I can get started on the crust.
FIONA: Go take your shower.
I wanna make pie.
You know what? Hand me the obits.
Maybe, uh, we can scavenge a dead person's water heater. Thank you.
Oh. Mrs. Dombrowski.
Oh, the, uh, shaky-neck lady? I thought she drowned a couple years ago.
No. Mrs. Goga had the shaky neck and drowned in her own vomit last Easter.
No pie. Get in the shower. I'm not saying it again.
Carl, no.
I went to school with Kenny Dombrowski.
-Think he had a crush on me. -Shh! Wake's this morning. Let's go.
-Up. up. up- DEBBIE: Can I come?
Um....
No.
Debbie, what is going on with you?
Nothing.
[FIONA SIGHS]
[SNIFFSI
Oofl Shower. After Debbie.
Towel and robe upstairs. Go.
[LIAM JABBERS]
You need to learn how to change your own diaper.
[CHILDREN CHATTERING OUTSIDE]
[GRUNTS]
MAN: It's getting windy.
Beautiful day for a party.
MAN: It's for kids, Frank. No booze!
Aw,
How would you like your eggs, sweetie?
-Fluffy. -Aw.
They're having a party across the street.
What, dear’?
Across the street. Some sort of a party for kids.
No booze.
What's the point?
Dad?
What the hell is he doing here?
-Ha, ha. KEVIN: Yeah.
[BOTH GROANING]
-Debbie? -Heh. What?
-What? -Stay focused.
Are the Gallaghers in our bathroom?
-I know what you need. -Huh? Uh-huh.
-That's what I'm talking about. -Yeah?
Yeah. Right there.
SHEILA: They're pretty. Fluffy, ﬂuffy. -Aha! Woo! Mm.
Went to see a lawyer.
Yeah. It turns out I can't afford to live somewhere else and support you two.
Three.
Why can't you stay with Uncle Ray?
He's got gangrene. You ever smell a rotting foot?
Hey, why don't you get me a reﬁll there, huh, Karen, honey?
Did you lose your fucking legs?
That's your teenage diseased mind talking.
You know, you tasted penii and now you're just crazy.
[COUGHS]
[KEVIN SCREAMS]
Oh, shit!
That's cold!
What the hell? Veronica!
There's no hot water!
What?
Fucking Gallaghers.
Look at you letting yourself into people's houses.
Tall grande latte, two shots.
-Sugar? -Absolutely.
Kids home?
Mm.
Boys are out getting a water heater, Debbie's at the park...
...CarI's out looking for defenseless pets to torture, and Liam's down for a nap.
So.,.?
No. I'm up to my ass in housework.
That's why I'm taking you to a long, deep, leisurely lunch.
-Lunch? -It's a euphemism.
How quaint.
Or would you like a demon dog and a quick fuck over at the Sheridan.
-Liam? -Get a sitter.
-Costs too much. -How much?
At least 50 bucks.
-You're not paying me to fuck you. -No, I couldn't pay you enough.
['|'HUMPING]
-Did you hear that? -No.
You didn't hear that?
You trying to change the subject?
[FOOTSTEPS]
Liam?
He's too lazy to get out of his crib. He just yells.
[FOOTSTEPS]
-You stay with Liam. -Wait, wait, wait.
[VVHISPERS] Hey. Hey.
You take the baby. I'll take the bat.
All right.
[WHISPERS] Now. Go.
[METAL CLANGS]
STEVE: Debbie, Jesus.
I thought you went to the park.
I came back.
Are you okay?
Katie Crasden's having a party.
Katie Crasden?
Two streets over.
STEVE: And she didn't invite you?
She's only 3.
What happened?
Well, lwasjust walking past and her dad, he--
Her dad did what?
He was laughing and playing with them and itjust.... Just wasn't fair.
What wasn't fair? What?
Everythingr
So I, um....
I stole something.
Oh.
-So nobody touched you? -What?
You nearly gave me a heart attack.
[LIAM GIBBERS]
[CHILD SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
Debbie?
[CHUCKLES]
Who the hell is that?
[POLICE SIREN WAILING]
WOMAN: We can j-- We'll just organize. It'll be okay.
MAN: He's probably right around here.
Just relax.
Oh, here we go.
No trafﬁc tickets to issue today?
No one to pull over for swinging wide on a left-hand turn?
Or is this a supportive friend party...
...for a cop who shot some poor fucker wasn't even armed?
Leave the people around here alone. They're good folks.
Who are the parents? Let's go, people. Out of the way.
Um....
-Your child's missing? GARY: Yeah.
TONY: I need your names and the name of the child.
Uh, Beth and Gary Casden.
-When was the last time you saw...? -Uh, Casey.
-About an hour ago. -Okay.
Okay. Uh, what was he wearing?
-Heh. -Debbie...
...why would you steal a little girl?
Why would you steal a little boy and dress him like a little girl?
[G|BBERS, THEN CHUCKLES]
I wanted a girl, but there weren't any.
Wha--? Then back to my initial question. Why would you steal a baby at all?
I miss Ginger.
-What? -Who?
You took away Aunt Ginger.
Who is Aunt Ginger?
Somebody from V's nursing home.
-What? -She was my friend.
We have to take him back right away, okay?
Where are his boy clothes?
I washed them.
Oh, my God. It shrunk. You put it in the dryer?
That's what you do after you wash something.
Um....
We can put him in some of Liam's clothes.
We can't bring a missing kid back wearing different clothes.
I mean, people will say we did something to him. Something bad.
COP [OVER PA]: Attention, this is-- Attention, this is the Chicago--
-Push-- -I know what to push.
Attention. This is the--
-No, no. -What are you doing?
-We have to get the information out. -Then let me drive.
No.
I've been a cop a lot longer than you.
You don't get to drive and talk.
What, are you gonna call your uncle?
Attention. This is the Chicago Police.
We are looking for a missing 2-year-oId....
-Come on in. IAN: So we're just gonna wait?
He's a chain-smoking pothead in a stress-inducing situation.
He'll be out soon.
What are we supposed to say?
I don't know. Just play it cool.
Play what cool?
Things people play cool. Jesus, Ian.
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
You got your own cell?
-No, some kid left it in the cafeteria. -Ah.
Hey, Kar.
I'm at some dead lady's house trying to see if I can score a water heater.
Meet me after?
FIONA: Hey, v?
I'm in the bathroom.
Hey. I'm in a bit of a jam. Can you watch him for 15 minutes?
-Damn, Fi. I'm in the middle of-- -Thanks.
Okay. Sure.
Hey, Li....
Who the fuck are you?
[POLICE SIREN WAILING]
Oh, shit.
Hey, Fiona.
Hey, T0nY<
You remember Steve?
Yeah. How's it going?
Uh, hear about the missing boy?
No. What happened?
Got taken from a birthday party.
Think he might have just wandered off?
We got everybody out looking. Choppers, SWAT...
...extra units, Amber alerts.
Wow. Really?
We're gonna catch the bastard that took Casey and chop his pedophile nuts off.
[HELICOPTER ROTORS WHIRRING]
Less than two hours ago, a young boy only 2 years of age...
...was abducted from his front yard.
You see this? This is what happens when the world goes crazy.
People steal kids.
And Rastafarians are allowed to roam free.
I don't mean real Rastafarians. I mean Rastaman Goldbergs...
...from Lake Forest with rich parents who get dropped off in town cars...
...then go beg for money on the streets. What a load of crap.
Obama-care my ass!
What the news people don't tell you: they love it when kids get stolen.
They're just looking for a good story to saturate our airwaves with.
And why are all the news ladies Chinese?
They should stick to what they know: railroads, sushi and dim sum.
Frank. Guess what.
I made mufﬁns using a bunt cake batter.
I didn't even need to add another egg.
-Hi, sweetie. KAREN: The shithead gone?
SHEILA: He just left for work. EDDIE: I'm still here.
-I'm just getting my coat. -I just had some delicious penii.
SHEILA: What? FRANK: Little Casey up the street.
Gone missing right from his own backyard.
Hmm. That's terrible.
You missed--
[KAREN GROANS]
TONY: Yes, ma'am. WOMAN: But my husband--
-I know you're all concerned. -Of course.
Just everybody calm down. I'll get to all of you, okay?
-Uh, you ﬁrst, okay? MAN: All right.
I wasn't sure what size, so I bought three just in case.
Oh, slow down.
-What? -Stop the car.
-Hey! Hey. -Hey. Almost new.
Debbie stole a baby. We have to return it.
-Debbie stole a baby? STEVE: Yeah.
-Why? -It's Debbie.
I did not see that coming. Um....
-Can't we just give it back? -I wish we could. It's too late now.
-Wow. -Find Car! and get home now.
Yeah.
TONY [ON PA]: We're looking for a missing boy named Casey...
...last seen wearing a Superman costume.
Two years old. Any information would be greatly appreciated.
No questions asked.
Why the fuck wouldn't we ask questions?
Because we want people to feel safe.
How do you ﬁnd out what happened if you don't ask?
You understand the premise? People feel safe.
They give information. We ﬁnd the kid.
Safe my ass. I'm asking questions.
-Okay. Yeah. No. Go ahead. Yeah, sure. -That's what you do.
-You do what you want. -Uh....
Casey Casden. Uh, last seen wearing a Superman costume.
Kev, stop.
What's Liam doing here?
It's not Liam.
-Who the hell is this? -I don't know. Fiona dropped him off.
TONY: Attention, all residents. There's a child still missing.
Approximately 2 years of age...
...wearing a Superman costume. If you've seen....
Fucking Gallaghers.
FRANK: When I was a kid, we could go to a birthday party...
...and our parents wouldn't worry that we were gonna get...
...sto|en out of the front yard by some perv.
That's when America had values.
Before Walmart, Dukakis, peanut butter and jelly in one jar.
You're too young to remember this...
...but there was a time when policemen were respected.
When young men wanted to ﬁght for their country.
When you could go vote twice for Mayor Daley down at the 11th Ward.
Before some liberal pricks elected a Muslim who isn't even American.
We need to get your story straight for the police.
Why did you take the boy?
He was crying for his mom and his mom wasn't around.
Did you try to ﬁnd his mom?
No, he was crying and nobody cared. So I took him.
-You can't say that. What's with you? -Fi.
Debs, was he inside or outside of the yard when you grabbed him?
Inside.
-Okay. so how did you get him out? -I waved a Snickers bar at him.
Did anybody see you?
-I don't think so. We just ran. -That wasn't suspicious.
-So you were running down the street-- -I used a stroller.
-What stroller? -Liam's old one.
The one I told you to throw out?
I ﬁxed it. For emergencies.
[BANGING ON DOOR]
VERONICA: Open up! Hurry!
Shit.
What in the hell is going on?
-Is this that kid? FIONA: Debbie stole him.
We have to give him back without getting her in Juvie.
-Why in the world would she steal-? -Hmm.
There must be a couple hundred cops out there.
I know. I'm so sorry. Debs, will you watch him for a second?
Come with us.
Casey, we're gonna play games, okay?
I'm not sure what's going on.
Maybe it's because your mom bailed and Frank's a big drunk.
What, I'm the asshole now? She stole a baby.
She obviously planned it.
I mean, she took a stroller out of the garbage and she ﬁxed it.
Hey, Debbie still is a little kid. Worst thing is she gets help.
-Help? -What kind of help?
-She stole a baby. -She‘s not crazy.
She just sort of accidentally took a kid.
Not if she lured him with a candy bar.
-What are you suggesting? -Some professional to--
-A shrink? -Gallaghers do not do therapy.
TONY [ON PA]: --missing 2-year-old boy, Casey Casden.
He was last seen wearing a Superman costume.
If you have any information, call 911.
Look, we need a plan to get that boy back.
Family Services is gonna have a ﬁeld day.
Family Services?
If they ﬁnd out Frank's moved, they'll take the kids, split them up.
Remember last time?
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING]
Shit.
Exactly.
You know that payphone that's outside the Kash and Grab?
-Yeah. LIP: Get on your bike...
...go to the payphone and call the police.
Tell them that you saw a little boy walking down Southport Avenue at 2:45.
-Okay? -Why should I?
You wanna be in a children's home?
Group home on Union has a climbing wall.
-Carl. -Ugh, I don't have a bike.
Wire cutters in the drawer.
What?
Steve, Fiona, you guys have to get Debs to take that kid back.
I don't know that I can make that happen.
You have to or we're all fucked.
okay-
Why do I have to do it?
We've already told the police we didn't know anything.
-I'm not a good liar. -You can do this.
-I'm not. You always say so. -All right. Hey. You know what?
It's been hours and Casey's parents are really worried about him.
Remember that pie you wanted to make? Let's do that tonight.
What do I have to do?
I saw a little boy walking down Southport Avenue at like 2:45.
COP [OVER PHONE]: Two forty-ﬁve? -Yeah, 2:45. Asshole.
Got a sighting. A kid saw the boy walking down Southport.
DEBBIE: I was walking up Southport Avenue...
...when I saw little Casey.
You didn't know his name.
-A little boy. -Yeah.
-All alone. -All alone.
And crying. I asked her where her mom was.
Not "her."
Oh, um, I asked him where his mom was and he didn't know.
He seemed upset, so I gave him some chocolate.
Good, Debs. You're doing great.
Veronica, go to the cleaners, ask Mrs. Bergdoll...
-...to use the phone. -That woman's a cold bitch.
I've got something for that. Don't worry.
Hey, Mrs. B. Can I use your phone really quick?
I got some green bud for your glaucoma.
Hmm....
I saw a little boy with a Superman suit walking down Grand.
-And what time was that? -About 15 minutes ago.
I thought maybe this is the boy everyone's talking about.
I'm sorry. A Spider-Man suit?
I didn't say Spider-Man. I said Superman.
He had a cape and he was with a girl.
-Can you describe--? -Assho|e.
DEBBIE: So I went to the phone outside Connie's Pizza to call the police...
...but I couldn't use the phone, because it was broken.
-And did you try to call anyone else? -Yes, I did.
Oh. Right. I was standing on the street...
...and I asked people who were passing if I could use their phone.
I said it was an emergency, but no one listened.
I don't know if it was because I was young...
...or poor.
Ha-ha-ha-ho!
[BLOWS AIR]
Okay, let's see.
Oh.
Frank?
Uh-oh.
What am I gonna do?
Stop?
[GRUNTS]
[FRANK FARTS]
-Hi, Frank. -Shit! Sorry, Karen.
-I thought you were gone. -Frank?
Pass me a towel?
You got it all wet.
A hand toweI's ﬁne. And don't throw it, please.
Casey!
LIP: What time do you go into work today? -Uh....
-I go in at 6. -You're going in early.
Tell them you saw a little boy in a Superman costume...
...waIklng down Grand Avenue.
What are you doing? You're not on till 6.
I'm here now, what's the harm? Gary, how you doing, man?
-Another Old Style? -Yup.
Gosh, you know what? I am feeling nostalgic today.
Hear what I said? I said I was feeling nostalgic.
MAN: What's "nostalgic"? -Well, I'm glad you asked.
I was walking to work and I saw this cute little kid wearing a Superman costume.
You know, with a cape and everything? Takes you back. He was a cute kid.
Yeah, Superman costume. Cute little kid.
-A little kid in a Superman costume? -Superman costume, sandy hair.
That's the boy that's missing. Where?
On Grand. ljust passed him ﬁve minutes ago.
-Well, we have to call that in, Kev. -Yes, we do.
How's my favorite lady?
She'll be better when her numbers come up...
...and Allied Shippers can kiss her ﬁne black ass.
[KEVIN CHUCKLES]
-I got a good feeling. -You say that every week.
-Four vodka tonics? CAROL: Only three today.
Marilyn wants a virgin colada.
She blacked out last night, so she a little nervous.
No, no, no. If! can't buy my girlfriend's mom drinks, what good am I?
No damn good.
-That's right. Can I get these for you? -No, I got them.
WOMAN: Yes. He took it out.
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
WOMAN 1: You were right there. Yeah. WOMAN 2: I was. No. I was.
Ladies, I'm just gonna grab these glasses, okay?
You can grab anything of mine you like. What's your name?
sag.‘ 5
Well, that's nice and short and easy to whisper.
Like, "Do it again, Kev."
-Heh. -Uh-huh.
Yeah, heh.
FRANK: Mr. Barkeep...
...a large boilermaker.
And keep them coming.
Did you bring in the water heater from the porch?
-No. -Well, it's not on the porch.
Seriously?
Bunch of fucking animals.
Steve, Debbie, Liam, we gotta go. Fiona, you got Casey.
I'll see you at Sheila's after.
Hey, don't worry, she's gonna be great.
-She doesn't even seem sorry. -She is, she's just a kid.
She can't tell lies. She never could.
We're all going to jail.
DEBBIE: Why can't I just take Casey back now?
We can't let anybody see you with Casey leaving our house.
Fiona is gonna take Casey to the rendezvous spot.
She'll give him to you and you'll take him back to his house.
Othenrvise, the plan won't work.
Fiona is gonna go to Sheila's to make sure she has an alibi.
I don't think I can do this.
Yeah, you're gonna be great, Debs. Just don't fuck it up.
-Hey, Debs? -Yeah?
Do you know why doctors, lawyers and nurses are great liars?
DEBBIE: No. STEVE: Because they lie to help people.
A doctor wouldn't tell a sick patient, "You're gonna die."
He would say, "We're doing everything we can." Wouldn't he?
Yeah?
So pretend you're being a doctor today, and tell a doctor's kind of tie.
Can you be a doctor for me?
Can I be a nurse?
That's my girl.
In a moment we will take you live to the scene of the crime...
...with our head correspondent, Charles Catino.
But ﬁrst, if you have any information...
...regarding the whereabouts of Casey Casden...
...please call the number at the bottom of your screen.
Charles, are you there?
[WOMEN CHATTERING]
[WOMEN LAUGHING]
Shots on me.
You are soaking wet.
WOMAN 1: Wipe it up. WOMAN 2: Get it. Get it.
WOMAN 1: Check, please. Can we have the check?
Uh, so...
-...ﬁxing up the basement? -Mm-hm.
Gonna try. Sheetrock that corner space for my bed.
The other halfs already paneled, so I'm good there.
Got a spot for the sink. ToiIet's already in.
So just run some cable for the ﬂat screen and I'm all set.
So...
...that Sheila, she's something, huh? Heh.
That's one way to put it.
Does your ass ever stop hurting?
No. AdviI's your best bet. It helps with the inﬂammation.
Hey, Kev.
-Hey. TINA: See my friend?
I know she acts like she hits on everyone, but she doesn't.
She likes you.
Well, I'm ﬂattered, but I can't.
Kev, you wanna get to it?
Oh, come on, what could one little drink hurt?
Um, you know. Really, no.
Look, she doesn't care if you have a girlfriend.
Neither do I.
Can you handle two?
What, the both of you?
[CLEARS THROAT]
Uh, I can't, really.
Actually, I'm getting married.
Wha--? What's that, now? Married?
-No, no-- Frank, can I get you a shot? -Veronica?
-Frank-- -Hey, Jess, roll out the champagne.
-Our boy here's getting hitched. -What?
-Kev is marrying Veronica. -Frank--
-Carol. Carol, come here. -Ahh!
-No, Frank-- FRANK: Carol.
-No, no, no. FRANK: Carol.
No, no, no. Frank--
Kev's making an honest woman out of your daughter.
-You what? -Yeah!
CAROL: Oh, my God! Ha, ha.
To think I was drinking, worrying about that missing boy.
-Who gives a shit about that now? FRANK: Hey!
-My daughter's getting married! FRANK: Kev's getting married to Veronica.
[ALL CHEERING]
And I got the oldest bottle of Asti Spumante.
You have made me the happiest woman in the world.
-I'm gonna go call Veronica. -Wait, wait! No.
She'll wanna call you. Don't ruin the surprise.
Okay, everybody, drinks on the house!
Here we go. One for the mama. There you go.
All right, one for the big daddy. Now for the mama. There we go.
Yeah!
MAN 1: You're getting married!
MAN 2: Woo-hoo!
[SLURPSI
Fiona Gallagher?
Yeah.
-Yeah, what about her? -Nothing.
Good.
You really wanna hook up with her? A lot of kids over there, man.
Heh. You're kidding, right? Your marriage only lasted six weeks.
-Seven. -And she wound up with the house.
My car's paid off!
You giving me advice is ridiculous.
[SLURPING]
Fiona, what a pleasant surprise.
They haven't found him yet?
ISIGHS]
I can't stop thinking about what his parents must be going through.
I know.
ISIGHS]
REPORTER [ON TV]: Less than two hours ago, a young boy only 2 years of age....
Do you want a drink?
I've got a lot of booze. No mixers.
Cup of coffee would be great.
REPORTER: --will not rest until the little boy is returned home.
Why don't I make it?
Oh, don't mind me.
I accidentally took three of my pills instead of one.
REPORTER: In just a moment we will take you live to the scene of the crime....
Hey, wait a second.
Hi, mister. Hey there.
How about giving me a big hug?
REPORTER: --I quote, "The city will not rest.... "
[POLICE SIREN WAILING]
I'm gonna blush and then they'll know.
I can't be a nurse. I'm not patient, I hate bed pans.
I can't walk in clogs, and let's face it, I'm too small.
SHEILA: Peekaboo. Peekaboo.
-Peekaboo. Peeka-- -Oh, my God.
GIRL: Mommy!
-Casey's back! -I don't believe it.
-Is it him? GIRL: Mommy!
-It is. It is. -It's him, he's back.
My baby. My babY<
Where have you been? We've been worried sick.
Where did you ﬁnd him?
He was walking all by himself. I didn't know where he lived.
-Thank you, you're an angel. -I don't-- I don't--
I don't know how to thank you. Uh, here, just, um--
Here, take all-- Take it. Take all of it. Just take everything. Thank you. Thank you.
I told you we'd ﬁnd him.
My Debbie found him. A Gallagher saved the day.
You bunch of losers. Heh.
DEBBIE: Bye.
LIP: That's Debs’.
No, I'm just helping her.
[FRANK GRUNTS]
You're on my hand. You're--
All right, I am your father.
Hey, Deb. Good job.
-Fiona, you wanna come with us? -Where?
-We need to take Deb to the station. -What for?
We need to take a statement.
She found him. I mean, isn't that enough?
We need a statement. You can stay with her.
Nurse Debbie can handle it.
What I'm trying to tell you is...
...that I have never seen her love anybody--
-I mean, anybody-- -Come on.
No. Anybody as much as she loves you.
-For real? -Mm. For real.
-Including her daddy. Mm-hm. -No.
Come on.
Ooh, and, honey, she love him like.... Mm.
Ooh. Mm.
Shit.
KEVIN: V!
.\/I MAN: Hey!
V!
You hear me? I need to speak to Veronica Fisher.
-What the hell? MAN: Would you shut up out there?
-What are you doing? -I'm here to tell you something.
I mean, I'm here to ask you something.
How did you get so drunk in the afternoon?
Veronica Fisher, will you do me the honor of being my wife?
-Yes, heh. Yeah! Yeah! Yes. -0h.
-I love you, baby. -Ha-ha-ha.
I ﬁrst saw him on Southport.
He caught my eye because my baby brother Liam loves Superman.
After I noticed he was alone, I took his hand. He's a good walker.
Very well-mannered for a toddler.
I thought for sure someone would let me use their phone.
I'm just so shocked at the lack of humanity.
Yes, I'd love a cookie.
I remembered Grand Avenue from my Aunt Ginger.
Do they require you to wear a jacket and tie, or is that your choice?
I ﬁnd it very sexy.
TONY: Big day. -Yeah.
TONY: Happy ending.
YGPA
You missed a good pot roast last week. My mom really, uh, pulled out all the stops.
Yeah.
Sorry about that.
KAREN: That's so great about Debbie ﬁnding that little Casey.
LIP: Yeah, I know. He's lucky it was her and not some crazy fucker.
[KAREN CH UCKLES]
Like your new jeans.
Oh, thanks. They didn't cheer me up as much as I'd hoped.
My house is so fucking weird. I wish I'd been kidnapped.
Is it that bad?
You should have seen them at breakfast.
I can't imagine what dinners are gonna be like.
In fact, as soon as he gets down to the bottom...
...I look back and there are all these people behind us.
-And I start yelling, "Go back! Go back!" -Why? Heh.
Because he stepped off of the thing and just stopped there...
...and there are all of these people»- Thank you, love.
You know, your house is Frank's wet dream.
-Never gonna get him out. -Mm-mm.
Wanna sneak into my backyard and do it on the tire swing?
-Lip? -Wait, I'm thinking.
REPORTER 1 [ON TV]: Well, I guess sometimes there are happy endings.
Casey Casden, the little boy who disappeared...
...from his own front yard earlier today, has been delivered home...
...safe and sound.
REPORTER 2 [ON TV]: Thank you, Lisa.
-That is indeed great, great news. -Fiona.
REPORTER 2: In other matters, a medical...
What's up?
Um....
For Debbie.
Okay. Mm-hm?
Hey, Debs. Look what Steve bought.
Oh, my God. For me?
Absolutely. For doing such a great job today.
-Thank you. -What are you gonna name her?
[LAUGHS]
Gin-Gin. After Aunt Ginger. Let's go up to my room. We can play.
Oh, Gin-Gin, you're so funny, heh.
Oh, Gin-Gin, you're so much fun.
[GRUNTS]
VERONICA: Kev, babe, wake up. It's time to get drunk again.
DEBBIE: Six-ninety, 700, 710...
...715 exactly.
Hmm.... Ah!
ISIGHS]
-Thanks for buying her that doll. -Not a problem.
-You know what'd feel great right now? -Hmm?
A long, hot shower.
I'll wash your back.
Shit.
No hot water.
You really are beautiful.
Like....
I hope I'm not fucking up the kids.
VERONICA: Fiona?
Fiona, where are you?
[CHUCKLES]
Here.
Fiona!
-Hey, hey. -Mommy.
[CHUCKLES]
What the hell? Champagne?
I'm getting married.
Oh, my God!
[ALL CHEERING]
VERONICA: Bitches, start planning the bachelorette party.
IAN: Congratulations. VERONICA: Are you drunk?
What are you doing? What are you doing?
IAN: She's just happy you're getting married.
She's great.
Yeah, man. She's a good egg. She deserves it.
Yes, but does she deserve you, you bastard?
[CHUCKLES]
No. Nobody does.
Take the Advil now. You wanna stay ahead of the pain.
ISIGHS]
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO]
STEVE: Congratulations.
[CHUCKLES]
-Penny for your thoughts. -Really, Grandma?
I know. I'm a 60-year-old lady with the vaj of a newborn.
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
You know I love you guys, right?
I couldn't raise these kids without you and V.
They borrow your shit all the time. I'm sorry. I know it's lame. But thanks.
I don't know how I'd do it without you guys. I love you so much.
I'm just so happy for you both.
Yeah, yeah. You know that Jagermeister really makes you chatty, right?
You know that?
[GIGGLING]
Look at V.
Isn't she beautiful?
Yeah. She sure is.
[TRUCK BEEPING]
What the hell is that?
MAN: Sign right there, please. -Debbie?
IAN: What is this?
It's our new water heater. I got it on sale.
LIP: All right, Deb. All: Ha, ha.
DEBBIE: And free delivery.
-They said because I'm a hero. VERONICA: That you are, my girl.
IAN: Oh, man. VERONICA: Heh.
You're gonna go to the back and make a sharp left and install it in the kitchen.
LIP: Right on back. DEBBIE: Yeah, straight down.
Bump-
-By the way, I call the ﬁrst hot shower. IAN: How much did that set you back?
That was something, huh?
Yeah.
You know, for a guy who just got engaged...
...you don't seem very happy to be getting married.
It's because I'm already married.
Debs, you gotta get ready for school.
DEBBIE: I can't go to school.
Why not?
Gin-Gin had me up half the night with diarrhea.
Oh.
[English - US - SDH]