1
00:00:00,860 --> 00:00:04,341
No, Earl, you're not listening.
I never said "instead of."
2
00:00:04,501 --> 00:00:08,417
You'd still have your regular hands,
but you'd also have robot hands.
3
00:00:08,664 --> 00:00:09,604
Okay, fine.
4
00:00:09,724 --> 00:00:12,411
Yes, with robot hands,
you could open beers faster.
5
00:00:12,531 --> 00:00:14,267
Thank you. Jeez!
6
00:00:15,188 --> 00:00:17,709
- Oh, wow. Look, a hat.
- Randy, wait!
7
00:00:17,829 --> 00:00:19,879
Every now and then
Randy found a new hat,
8
00:00:19,999 --> 00:00:22,984
which brought the unwelcome addition
of lice and a new personality.
9
00:00:24,496 --> 00:00:26,781
Let's go get some chicken wings.
10
00:00:28,948 --> 00:00:30,233
Howdy, pilgrim.
11
00:00:31,771 --> 00:00:34,050
Yo, yo, yo, what's up,
my home Earl?
12
00:00:34,896 --> 00:00:37,069
But Randy hadn't found
a hat in a while,
13
00:00:37,189 --> 00:00:39,209
and I was hoping this time,
it'd be different.
14
00:00:41,622 --> 00:00:44,201
Wouldst thou fancy a beer?
I certainly shall.
15
00:00:45,406 --> 00:00:46,716
Son of a bitch.
16
00:00:47,168 --> 00:00:48,176
Don't dally!
17
00:00:50,255 --> 00:00:52,514
STOLE AN RV
18
00:00:54,286 --> 00:00:57,063
Darnell, I do believe
I'll have a beer in a glass.
19
00:00:57,183 --> 00:00:59,145
And why don't we throw
a cherry on top?
20
00:01:01,191 --> 00:01:02,917
Thank you, my fine sir.
21
00:01:03,183 --> 00:01:04,625
Oh, so suave.
22
00:01:04,745 --> 00:01:07,298
I feel like
I'm in Rick's Cafe American.
23
00:01:09,535 --> 00:01:10,666
Casablanca.
24
00:01:10,900 --> 00:01:12,540
They don't watch
black & white movies,
25
00:01:12,660 --> 00:01:14,828
'cause it reminds them
too much of newspapers.
26
00:01:14,988 --> 00:01:16,659
They don't watch
black and white movies
27
00:01:16,779 --> 00:01:19,718
because it reminds whom
too much of newspapers.
28
00:01:19,838 --> 00:01:23,199
Now, if you'll excuse me,
therefore, what for,
29
00:01:23,847 --> 00:01:25,171
wherewithal, henceforth,
30
00:01:25,533 --> 00:01:26,830
English muffins.
31
00:01:29,922 --> 00:01:31,094
I seen the giant pig!
32
00:01:31,597 --> 00:01:32,969
I seen Pigsquatch!
33
00:01:33,673 --> 00:01:35,169
There was a legend
of a giant pig
34
00:01:35,289 --> 00:01:37,304
that lived in the woods
near the trailer park.
35
00:01:37,424 --> 00:01:39,637
Nobody sober
had ever actually seen it.
36
00:01:40,951 --> 00:01:42,098
Pigsquatch!
37
00:01:42,626 --> 00:01:43,659
Until Joy.
38
00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:45,282
Pigsquatch.
39
00:01:46,053 --> 00:01:47,657
Maybe the neighbor
just wheeled
40
00:01:47,777 --> 00:01:50,003
his shut-in mom out to the yard
to hose her off again?
41
00:01:50,282 --> 00:01:53,688
I know the difference between
a prehistoric pig and Jumbo Sally.
42
00:01:54,634 --> 00:01:56,249
You know what I'm going to do?
43
00:01:56,850 --> 00:01:57,662
Catch him.
44
00:01:58,135 --> 00:01:59,831
What would you do
with a giant pig?
45
00:02:00,096 --> 00:02:01,204
Make a damn fortune.
46
00:02:01,324 --> 00:02:03,346
Tourists pay good money
to see giant stuff.
47
00:02:03,466 --> 00:02:05,552
World's biggest Slinky,
world's biggest staircase,
48
00:02:05,672 --> 00:02:07,470
which is next to the world's
biggest Slinky.
49
00:02:07,590 --> 00:02:10,341
Even me and this idiot paid $10 each
to see the world's biggest anthill.
50
00:02:10,758 --> 00:02:12,710
Remember that?
When we took that RV trip?
51
00:02:12,830 --> 00:02:13,926
I did remember,
52
00:02:14,046 --> 00:02:17,932
cause that RV trip she was talking about
was #47 on my list.
53
00:02:18,220 --> 00:02:22,039
A while back, the kids were mistakenly
detained by Child Protective Services.
54
00:02:22,159 --> 00:02:23,790
Since we knew
they were in good hands,
55
00:02:23,910 --> 00:02:26,030
we decided we wanted to go
on vacation.
56
00:02:26,150 --> 00:02:27,490
So we stole one.
57
00:02:32,970 --> 00:02:35,470
And we discovered
we hadn't just stole a vacation,
58
00:02:35,592 --> 00:02:37,687
we stole a whole new lifestyle.
59
00:02:38,468 --> 00:02:39,346
Check it out.
60
00:02:39,466 --> 00:02:42,207
These RV people have
special glasses just for wine.
61
00:02:42,367 --> 00:02:45,425
Wow, it looks like it's on stilts.
That's really smart.
62
00:02:45,545 --> 00:02:47,882
It's closer to your mouth,
so you can drink it faster.
63
00:02:48,002 --> 00:02:49,714
RVs are so much better
than trailers.
64
00:02:50,009 --> 00:02:51,904
When a twister's coming,
you just drive away.
65
00:02:52,024 --> 00:02:55,351
Instead of sitting in a bathtub
with a pillow on your head like a chump.
66
00:02:55,471 --> 00:02:56,888
I ain't ever going back.
67
00:02:57,008 --> 00:02:59,342
Don't have to.
We're RV people now.
68
00:02:59,970 --> 00:03:01,423
Thanks to this baby,
69
00:03:01,657 --> 00:03:03,144
it's going to be stilt glasses,
70
00:03:03,404 --> 00:03:05,082
cup holders on the walls,
71
00:03:05,202 --> 00:03:07,690
and tables that turn into beds
from now on.
72
00:03:07,850 --> 00:03:09,722
Cheers to hittin'
the freakin' jackpot!
73
00:03:15,725 --> 00:03:18,660
Randy, did you turn off the stove
when you were finished cooking?
74
00:03:20,118 --> 00:03:22,329
I mean, my hands were full,
so I blew it out.
75
00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:24,457
I figured what's the worst
that could happen?
76
00:03:25,407 --> 00:03:26,532
Now, we know.
77
00:03:26,826 --> 00:03:29,589
And just like that,
our RV'ing days were over.
78
00:03:30,581 --> 00:03:33,462
Luckily, the guy we stole it from
was living in the same spot.
79
00:03:33,582 --> 00:03:35,034
Just without wheels.
80
00:03:35,154 --> 00:03:37,338
There's gotta be something
I can do for ya.
81
00:03:37,458 --> 00:03:38,809
Get you a new RV?
82
00:03:39,231 --> 00:03:41,898
- Find you a new place to live?
- I don't want nothing.
83
00:03:42,279 --> 00:03:45,019
Just leave me alone
and let me sit here and wait to die.
84
00:03:45,703 --> 00:03:47,438
I got to cross you off my list.
85
00:03:47,598 --> 00:03:49,387
You wanna cross me
off your list,
86
00:03:49,507 --> 00:03:51,031
just pump me full of morphine
87
00:03:51,151 --> 00:03:53,361
and beat me over the head
with that rake till I'm dead.
88
00:03:57,798 --> 00:03:59,495
I wasn't going to kill the guy,
89
00:03:59,615 --> 00:04:01,283
but I wasn't gonna do
nothing, either.
90
00:04:01,403 --> 00:04:04,946
So I decided to watch him
and see if I came up with any ideas.
91
00:04:10,163 --> 00:04:12,117
And I found out
he wasn't lying.
92
00:04:12,237 --> 00:04:14,094
He was just waiting to die.
93
00:04:25,681 --> 00:04:28,624
And while I still didn't know
what I was supposed to do to help him,
94
00:04:28,744 --> 00:04:30,673
at least I figured out
a place to start.
95
00:04:30,793 --> 00:04:33,526
Morning, Jerry!
I'm here to fix your roof.
96
00:04:35,254 --> 00:04:37,126
- Sorry.
- Doesn't matter.
97
00:04:39,314 --> 00:04:40,969
While I was fixing Jerry's roof,
98
00:04:41,089 --> 00:04:44,389
Joy was getting started
on her get-rich-quick pig plan.
99
00:04:45,282 --> 00:04:47,409
Baby, the boys are hungry.
Where's the bacon?
100
00:04:47,575 --> 00:04:50,049
On the end of this string.
Soon as Pigsquatch gets a whiff of it,
101
00:04:50,169 --> 00:04:52,030
I'm going to pull the string,
lure him to me,
102
00:04:52,150 --> 00:04:54,631
and then knock him out
with a baseball bat.
103
00:04:54,791 --> 00:04:56,504
You can't catch a pig
with bacon.
104
00:04:56,624 --> 00:04:59,280
That's like trying to catch
a cow with a cheeseburger.
105
00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:02,149
I'm hearing a lot of "no" and "can't"
from you right now,
106
00:05:02,269 --> 00:05:04,766
if you're not gonna get with the
pig-catching program, shut up.
107
00:05:05,042 --> 00:05:06,077
All I'm saying is,
108
00:05:06,197 --> 00:05:08,720
the boys are drinking
Tom Collins mix for breakfast.
109
00:05:08,840 --> 00:05:11,325
We can't send them
to school like that.
110
00:05:15,658 --> 00:05:17,970
Although I'd spent the morning
fixing Jerry's roof,
111
00:05:18,090 --> 00:05:20,281
I couldn't help feeling that
I still hadn't done enough.
112
00:05:20,592 --> 00:05:22,992
Well, at least it shouldn't rain
on you anymore, huh?
113
00:05:23,373 --> 00:05:25,245
Here, let me get that for ya.
114
00:05:43,401 --> 00:05:45,556
Wait, Randy.
Go back a station.
115
00:05:52,595 --> 00:05:54,183
Jerry, you're moving.
116
00:05:54,975 --> 00:05:56,232
You like that jug music?
117
00:05:57,160 --> 00:05:58,337
Love the jug.
118
00:05:59,274 --> 00:06:01,660
It's the easiest instrument
to learn.
119
00:06:02,066 --> 00:06:03,428
Hardest to master.
120
00:06:04,791 --> 00:06:06,477
Actually, that's not true.
121
00:06:06,597 --> 00:06:09,372
Hell, in a good wind,
it actually plays itself.
122
00:06:10,500 --> 00:06:12,750
You could be dead
for all that jug cares.
123
00:06:14,245 --> 00:06:15,437
I miss my jug.
124
00:06:16,143 --> 00:06:19,782
I used to have one before
you blew it up in that RV fire.
125
00:06:20,478 --> 00:06:21,478
Jackass.
126
00:06:21,910 --> 00:06:24,719
It still didn't seem like
it made up for burning an RV, but
127
00:06:24,839 --> 00:06:28,017
at least fixing his roof and getting him
a jug were better than doing nothing.
128
00:06:30,847 --> 00:06:32,286
That is a beauty.
129
00:06:33,378 --> 00:06:35,231
Brings back good memories, huh?
130
00:06:37,514 --> 00:06:39,495
My RV was filled with memories:
131
00:06:39,615 --> 00:06:41,988
doohickeys,
things from my past.
132
00:06:42,148 --> 00:06:43,719
You know, mementos.
133
00:06:44,163 --> 00:06:45,791
Yup, the freshmaker.
134
00:06:46,747 --> 00:06:48,996
Well, that's what I can do
to make up to you, Jerry.
135
00:06:49,519 --> 00:06:52,521
Find some way to replace the things
that got burned up in your RV.
136
00:06:53,091 --> 00:06:54,500
What else did you have in it?
137
00:06:54,878 --> 00:06:55,912
My dead wife.
138
00:06:56,585 --> 00:06:57,706
I don't think so.
139
00:06:57,826 --> 00:06:59,422
We would've remembered
a dead wife.
140
00:06:59,779 --> 00:07:01,229
No, pictures of her.
141
00:07:01,718 --> 00:07:04,323
I had pictures of her
all over the wall.
142
00:07:06,814 --> 00:07:09,599
I met her when I first came back
from the war in Korea.
143
00:07:09,999 --> 00:07:11,476
Those pictures
kind of made me
144
00:07:11,636 --> 00:07:13,304
feel like her arms
were around me.
145
00:07:15,799 --> 00:07:18,296
This was her song,
"Moonlight Sonata".
146
00:07:48,220 --> 00:07:50,682
And that, gentlemen,
will get you laid.
147
00:07:51,422 --> 00:07:54,125
I didn't know how to replace
pictures of Jerry's dead wife,
148
00:07:54,245 --> 00:07:57,063
but if he needed some arms around him,
I had an idea where to go.
149
00:07:58,716 --> 00:08:00,098
That's a good one.
150
00:08:00,444 --> 00:08:02,849
My favorite's still the one
where you're riding it sidesaddle.
151
00:08:03,227 --> 00:08:05,340
Acting ladylike on a giant pig.
152
00:08:05,967 --> 00:08:07,198
That makes me laugh.
153
00:08:07,358 --> 00:08:10,034
Just keep taking pictures
before this thing wakes up.
154
00:08:10,485 --> 00:08:13,204
Holy crap!
You caught Pigsquatch?!
155
00:08:14,315 --> 00:08:15,296
How'd you do it?
156
00:08:15,416 --> 00:08:17,285
Put some sleeping pills
in a bucket of slop.
157
00:08:17,405 --> 00:08:19,599
Basically, the pig version
of how I got you to marry me.
158
00:08:19,719 --> 00:08:20,609
Nice!
159
00:08:20,729 --> 00:08:23,598
Do you still have that doll you bought
to make Darnell think you were
160
00:08:23,718 --> 00:08:25,812
in bed when you ran to Mexico
to avoid the cops,
161
00:08:25,932 --> 00:08:27,779
but got caught
by Dog the Bounty Hunter,
162
00:08:27,899 --> 00:08:29,845
went on trial,
and I went to prison for it,
163
00:08:29,965 --> 00:08:32,288
then got out, then got hit by a car
and went into a coma
164
00:08:32,408 --> 00:08:34,308
where I thought I was living
in a sitcom world?
165
00:08:35,441 --> 00:08:37,186
Can I take her?
It's for a good cause.
166
00:08:37,953 --> 00:08:38,776
Don't know.
167
00:08:38,896 --> 00:08:41,133
Me and Darnell still use her
sometimes on date night.
168
00:08:42,828 --> 00:08:44,735
Boys, Mommy and Daddy
are going out.
169
00:08:44,895 --> 00:08:47,204
Aunt Gretchen's here to babysit
and if I were you,
170
00:08:47,324 --> 00:08:49,963
I'd stay in your room,
'cause she brought her paddle!
171
00:08:52,201 --> 00:08:54,666
Okay, baby.
Let's go eat some shrimps.
172
00:09:00,403 --> 00:09:02,598
You know what?
If you want her, you can have her.
173
00:09:02,718 --> 00:09:04,846
I caught Darnell taking a bath
with her the other day.
174
00:09:04,966 --> 00:09:07,216
Says he was washing her.
I have my doubts.
175
00:09:07,796 --> 00:09:08,903
Thanks, Joy.
176
00:09:11,180 --> 00:09:12,180
Joy, come here.
177
00:09:12,568 --> 00:09:14,348
Does this pig look funny to you?
178
00:09:14,508 --> 00:09:18,393
All pigs look funny to me, Darnell.
Porky, Petunia, Miss Piggy...
179
00:09:18,513 --> 00:09:19,645
Hilarious.
180
00:09:19,964 --> 00:09:21,864
No, I mean in that
it's not breathing.
181
00:09:21,984 --> 00:09:22,975
He's dead.
182
00:09:23,095 --> 00:09:25,704
And I don't think anybody's going to pay
to see a dead pig.
183
00:09:26,099 --> 00:09:27,904
He's not dead.
He's just sleeping.
184
00:09:30,323 --> 00:09:31,323
Oh, hell!
185
00:09:32,382 --> 00:09:33,760
I only gave him 50 pills.
186
00:09:33,880 --> 00:09:35,887
My mama used to take that many
every friday night,
187
00:09:36,007 --> 00:09:37,260
wash it down with a gin,
188
00:09:37,380 --> 00:09:39,245
and wake up the next morning
fresh as a daisy
189
00:09:39,365 --> 00:09:40,499
to do her paper route.
190
00:09:41,473 --> 00:09:42,877
Damn lightweight.
191
00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:45,265
Once I got the real doll
from Joy,
192
00:09:45,385 --> 00:09:48,681
me and Randy gave it a makeover
and changed it into a real old doll.
193
00:09:50,071 --> 00:09:53,012
Hey, Jerry, check it out.
Arms to put around you.
194
00:09:57,104 --> 00:09:59,867
What good is a plastic mannequin
going to do me?
195
00:09:59,987 --> 00:10:01,187
Give it a shot.
196
00:10:04,067 --> 00:10:05,858
Can you make the hug tighter?
197
00:10:06,252 --> 00:10:07,480
After he got the doll,
198
00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:09,403
Jerry started thinking
about more things
199
00:10:09,563 --> 00:10:11,885
from his trailer
that he wanted us to replace.
200
00:10:14,692 --> 00:10:16,533
Like his old animal heads.
201
00:10:18,692 --> 00:10:21,696
And the more stuff we replaced,
like his old hunting equipment,
202
00:10:21,816 --> 00:10:23,445
the more alive he became.
203
00:10:25,136 --> 00:10:28,589
When we tracked down an exact replica
of his Special Forces uniform,
204
00:10:29,164 --> 00:10:30,424
he was a new man.
205
00:10:33,761 --> 00:10:37,341
And he was feeling so good,
he even wanted to go out for a drink.
206
00:10:38,153 --> 00:10:40,135
Oh, there's one more
thing I need.
207
00:10:40,255 --> 00:10:41,572
It's a pendant.
208
00:10:41,692 --> 00:10:44,639
There's only one other like it
in the whole wide world.
209
00:10:44,759 --> 00:10:47,010
An old army buddy
of mine has it,
210
00:10:47,130 --> 00:10:49,277
I would like to go
with you to get it.
211
00:10:50,019 --> 00:10:51,570
That's the spirit.
212
00:10:51,730 --> 00:10:53,406
Hip-hip cheerios, Harry Potter.
213
00:10:57,348 --> 00:10:58,693
I was feeling good.
214
00:10:58,813 --> 00:11:01,207
I hadn't given up on Jerry,
and it paid off.
215
00:11:01,699 --> 00:11:04,145
I really felt like
I brought a man back to life.
216
00:11:08,067 --> 00:11:10,636
According to the VFW,
this is the place.
217
00:11:12,537 --> 00:11:14,454
I want to thank you, Earl.
218
00:11:17,252 --> 00:11:20,141
All I wanted to do was die.
Now look at me.
219
00:11:20,590 --> 00:11:22,018
I got my stuff back,
220
00:11:22,374 --> 00:11:24,274
I got my plastic wife to hug,
221
00:11:24,689 --> 00:11:27,523
and now I'm going
to cut this jackass's ear off!
222
00:11:28,991 --> 00:11:31,053
I can't thank you enough, Earl.
223
00:11:32,047 --> 00:11:33,964
Did you say
"cut off his ear"?
224
00:11:37,576 --> 00:11:39,493
You're going to cut off
your army buddy's ear?
225
00:11:39,653 --> 00:11:41,009
That's what the pendant was.
226
00:11:41,129 --> 00:11:43,622
I'd have called it an ear,
but you wouldn't have driven me here.
227
00:11:44,497 --> 00:11:46,292
Ends up,
during the Korean War,
228
00:11:46,452 --> 00:11:48,436
Jerry and his buddy were caught
behind enemy lines
229
00:11:48,556 --> 00:11:50,205
when Jerry got wounded.
230
00:11:52,374 --> 00:11:54,383
Jerry, we both can't make it.
231
00:11:54,659 --> 00:11:55,711
No, don't go!
232
00:11:55,831 --> 00:11:58,179
Haven't you seen the movies?
Never leave a man behind.
233
00:11:58,423 --> 00:12:01,557
No, but I've seen the ones
where they say, "Go on without me."
234
00:12:02,068 --> 00:12:04,772
Sometimes they even say,
"Marry my best girl!" Sorry!
235
00:12:05,338 --> 00:12:08,702
But the only thing Jerry could keep
from leaving was Joe's ear.
236
00:12:13,713 --> 00:12:15,363
Come back here, you coward!
237
00:12:16,022 --> 00:12:17,782
You're a coward!
238
00:12:19,904 --> 00:12:21,243
Jerry got captured,
239
00:12:21,403 --> 00:12:22,995
and held onto the ear
as a reminder
240
00:12:23,155 --> 00:12:24,762
of how much
he wanted to survive.
241
00:12:25,835 --> 00:12:28,966
And as the months passed,
the ear became more than a reminder.
242
00:12:29,086 --> 00:12:30,352
It became a companion.
243
00:12:30,472 --> 00:12:33,464
I got four pretty ladies.
What do you got, Joe's ear?
244
00:12:35,462 --> 00:12:37,455
Damn, Joe's ear,
you're good.
245
00:12:39,129 --> 00:12:41,784
It continued to be a part of his life
even after the war.
246
00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:44,683
Okay, Isabel,
Joe's ear,
247
00:12:45,711 --> 00:12:47,508
we're off to see the world.
248
00:12:51,934 --> 00:12:55,217
- Sorry, I can't let you do this.
- I'm not asking for your permission.
249
00:12:55,337 --> 00:12:57,791
That coward left me for dead
for 50 years,
250
00:12:57,911 --> 00:13:00,260
and he never gave it
another thought.
251
00:13:01,147 --> 00:13:02,852
Jerry, give me the knife.
252
00:13:21,373 --> 00:13:22,611
Look out, Joe!
253
00:13:25,336 --> 00:13:28,769
- What the hell's going on out here?
- Jerry Burn, he's here for your ear.
254
00:13:33,144 --> 00:13:34,859
I'm here to protect you from him.
255
00:13:35,099 --> 00:13:36,220
Where is he?
256
00:13:41,692 --> 00:13:44,398
After I got my voice back,
I told Joe about the RV
257
00:13:44,518 --> 00:13:47,121
and finding Jerry half dead,
and what I'd been doing.
258
00:13:49,524 --> 00:13:50,662
You idiots.
259
00:13:51,411 --> 00:13:53,043
Do you know
what you've done?
260
00:13:53,799 --> 00:13:56,046
You brought a killing machine
back to life.
261
00:13:58,837 --> 00:14:00,708
- You okay?
- Heart pills.
262
00:14:01,523 --> 00:14:02,602
Top pocket.
263
00:14:03,753 --> 00:14:07,558
Do you ever perchance think of gluing
a seashell to where your ear used to be,
264
00:14:07,718 --> 00:14:09,059
so it would look normal?
265
00:14:09,877 --> 00:14:12,229
And you'd always get
to hear the ocean.
266
00:14:12,389 --> 00:14:15,074
Yeah, that's my biggest problem,
right now.
267
00:14:15,442 --> 00:14:18,694
You guys don't seem to understand
what we're dealing with here.
268
00:14:20,189 --> 00:14:22,452
I saw Jerry kill three Koreans
269
00:14:23,008 --> 00:14:24,616
with a single bullet.
270
00:14:25,289 --> 00:14:26,289
No gun.
271
00:14:26,772 --> 00:14:29,914
Just pressed the bullet
right into their skulls.
272
00:14:31,911 --> 00:14:33,534
I'm calling the cops!
273
00:14:38,596 --> 00:14:39,926
He cut the line.
274
00:14:40,651 --> 00:14:43,627
Well, he's not the only
crazy old man around here.
275
00:14:47,629 --> 00:14:49,479
- Oh, mother.
- Blimey!
276
00:14:51,428 --> 00:14:54,054
Before we panic
and do something we might regret,
277
00:14:54,174 --> 00:14:55,662
at least let me talk to Jerry.
278
00:14:55,782 --> 00:14:58,234
He seemed reasonable,
except for the throat punch.
279
00:14:59,202 --> 00:15:00,532
Okay. Let's see.
280
00:15:06,583 --> 00:15:08,869
Hey, Jerry,
I'm sorry about what hap...
281
00:15:12,154 --> 00:15:14,017
Okay, boys, this is it.
282
00:15:14,628 --> 00:15:16,390
Cinch up your apple sacks.
283
00:15:16,691 --> 00:15:18,337
We're going to war.
284
00:15:18,708 --> 00:15:21,958
And I wasn't the only one dealing
with a scary thing in the front yard.
285
00:15:22,078 --> 00:15:24,195
Since the pig didn't die
of natural causes,
286
00:15:24,315 --> 00:15:25,761
the county wouldn't haul it away.
287
00:15:26,099 --> 00:15:28,973
I can't believe the county
won't remove dead pigs.
288
00:15:29,221 --> 00:15:32,476
I can't believe nobody answered our ad
for 800 pounds of free pork.
289
00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:35,517
You know what?
Screw it.
290
00:15:35,637 --> 00:15:37,193
I'm going old school.
291
00:15:39,930 --> 00:15:41,029
Oh, my God!
292
00:15:42,780 --> 00:15:44,474
I'm in the pig!
293
00:15:48,652 --> 00:15:50,922
Earl, this hat sucks now.
It's got a hole in it.
294
00:15:51,042 --> 00:15:54,039
- It looks like a hobo's hat.
- Randy, this really isn't the time.
295
00:15:55,046 --> 00:15:56,194
Joe, this is crazy.
296
00:15:56,314 --> 00:15:59,391
You don't have to kill each other over
something that happened 40 years ago.
297
00:15:59,511 --> 00:16:02,756
Learn your history!
It was 55 years ago.
298
00:16:03,272 --> 00:16:04,586
Pin, pin, pin!
299
00:16:05,127 --> 00:16:08,254
Nuts, and I'm shaking
like a geisha on sake.
300
00:16:08,525 --> 00:16:11,121
It must be the Parkinson's.
You better do it.
301
00:16:12,444 --> 00:16:14,280
Earl, we got to go
back to that bus stop,
302
00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:16,163
see if they got another hat
like this one.
303
00:16:16,283 --> 00:16:17,863
Randy, I'm defusing a grenade!
304
00:16:17,983 --> 00:16:19,547
I can't wear this.
I'll look stupid.
305
00:16:19,667 --> 00:16:22,559
You're gonna look stupid anyway.
It's a stupid hat.
306
00:16:22,679 --> 00:16:24,238
Like all your other hats
are stupid,
307
00:16:24,358 --> 00:16:26,596
'cause when you wear a hat,
you act stupid.
308
00:16:27,145 --> 00:16:29,790
- Even the newsie cap?
- Yes, the newsie cap.
309
00:16:30,262 --> 00:16:32,077
"Hey, mister, want a paper?
310
00:16:32,237 --> 00:16:34,455
"I'll have a sandwich
with extra mayonnaise."
311
00:16:34,615 --> 00:16:36,153
I hate all your hats!
312
00:16:36,273 --> 00:16:39,168
Will you guys shut up
and put the... put the pin in!
313
00:16:47,263 --> 00:16:49,020
I don't believe you two guys.
314
00:16:49,140 --> 00:16:51,305
Arguing over a hat,
a damn hat!
315
00:16:51,466 --> 00:16:54,011
I'm going to get killed because
there's a lunatic out there
316
00:16:54,131 --> 00:16:56,867
who's mad as hell because
I left him in the field!
317
00:16:59,546 --> 00:17:01,649
I left him... in the field.
318
00:17:01,809 --> 00:17:03,008
My best buddy.
319
00:17:03,557 --> 00:17:04,925
He needed my help,
320
00:17:05,281 --> 00:17:06,556
and I left him.
321
00:17:07,700 --> 00:17:08,700
I left him.
322
00:17:08,820 --> 00:17:11,642
That was the first time
Joe ever said those words out loud,
323
00:17:11,899 --> 00:17:14,161
but it'd been in his head
since the day it happened.
324
00:17:14,900 --> 00:17:16,766
He'd gone off to war
hoping to be a hero,
325
00:17:16,886 --> 00:17:19,765
but quickly found out
he was just a scared kid.
326
00:17:24,414 --> 00:17:27,206
Jerry felt that Joe ran away
and never gave it a second thought,
327
00:17:27,326 --> 00:17:28,954
but Jerry was wrong.
328
00:17:29,074 --> 00:17:31,224
Joe thought about it
every day of his life.
329
00:17:32,059 --> 00:17:34,525
Joe, come back here,
you coward!
330
00:17:34,963 --> 00:17:36,767
You coward!
331
00:17:38,269 --> 00:17:40,714
When I was given
the choice to save my life
332
00:17:41,137 --> 00:17:43,824
or save someone else's,
I chose to save my own.
333
00:17:44,393 --> 00:17:46,568
Maybe Jerry deserves
to take the other ear.
334
00:17:47,133 --> 00:17:49,274
Hell, I'd give it to him, too,
if I didn't remember
335
00:17:49,394 --> 00:17:51,240
it hurt so damn much.
336
00:17:51,947 --> 00:17:53,450
How much did it hurt?
337
00:17:54,370 --> 00:17:56,161
About as much as
getting your ear cut off.
338
00:17:58,566 --> 00:18:00,082
Oh, God, he's on the roof!
339
00:18:00,242 --> 00:18:01,625
Wait, wait, wait.
Joe, wait!
340
00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:13,126
Maybe we should
call an ambulance.
341
00:18:15,696 --> 00:18:16,696
Or that.
342
00:18:18,822 --> 00:18:20,768
Oh, my God.
You killed his wife!
343
00:18:20,888 --> 00:18:23,058
Now he's really
gonna be pissed.
344
00:18:23,490 --> 00:18:25,764
Quick, back in the house!
Come on!
345
00:18:36,599 --> 00:18:38,829
Jerry may have had
the heart of a killer,
346
00:18:38,989 --> 00:18:41,148
but that heart
was 75 years old.
347
00:18:46,788 --> 00:18:49,339
I think he's having a heart attack.
Randy, go for help.
348
00:18:50,828 --> 00:18:52,092
Joe, I need your pills.
349
00:18:53,883 --> 00:18:55,012
Both of you?
350
00:18:55,383 --> 00:18:57,388
This should be a lesson
about trying to kill people
351
00:18:57,549 --> 00:18:58,682
when you're over 60.
352
00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:02,267
I only got one pill left.
353
00:19:07,351 --> 00:19:08,904
What are you doing?
354
00:19:09,024 --> 00:19:11,450
What I shoulda done
50 years ago.
355
00:19:13,466 --> 00:19:15,783
Open your mouth,
you old buzzard.
356
00:19:18,827 --> 00:19:20,663
Never leave a man behind.
357
00:19:25,568 --> 00:19:27,383
In the end, they both survived.
358
00:19:27,983 --> 00:19:29,007
It's okay.
359
00:19:29,443 --> 00:19:32,088
You saved my life,
so we're even.
360
00:19:33,139 --> 00:19:35,047
There's no doubt in my mind.
361
00:19:38,585 --> 00:19:40,825
While you can't reattach
a severed ear,
362
00:19:40,945 --> 00:19:43,730
it's never too late
to fix a severed friendship.
363
00:19:48,392 --> 00:19:50,576
Losing your temper
can be a good thing.
364
00:19:50,696 --> 00:19:53,947
Jerry and Joe had let their bad feelings
sit inside them for years,
365
00:19:54,067 --> 00:19:56,136
rotting like a pig
in a front yard,
366
00:19:56,256 --> 00:19:58,634
and it took a fight
to work everything out.
367
00:19:58,754 --> 00:20:00,744
The same with me and Randy.
368
00:20:01,019 --> 00:20:03,372
Thanks for telling me
I acted different in hats.
369
00:20:03,492 --> 00:20:04,915
I won't do it again.
I promise.
370
00:20:05,155 --> 00:20:06,959
I'm just sorry I yelled at you.
371
00:20:07,238 --> 00:20:09,150
Oh, that's okay.
Brothers fight.
372
00:20:09,617 --> 00:20:11,230
Friends cut each other's ears off.
373
00:20:11,350 --> 00:20:13,058
It's a crazy world, Earl.
374
00:20:14,446 --> 00:20:16,122
I guess this is good-bye.
375
00:20:19,877 --> 00:20:21,522
It can make anyone look good.
376
00:20:22,231 --> 00:20:24,428
I guess, every now and then
when you're stuck,
377
00:20:24,548 --> 00:20:27,012
the best way to clear the air
is to have a big blowup.
378
00:20:27,132 --> 00:20:28,576
Fire in the hole!
379
00:20:36,126 --> 00:20:38,699
Subtitles:
Jarick & loky