1
00:00:02,169 --> 00:00:04,995
It was nice being out of my
coma and back where I belonged,
2
00:00:05,127 --> 00:00:06,948
but I couldn't get Billie
off my mind.
3
00:00:07,099 --> 00:00:09,296
I was pretty sure karma
wanted me to find her.
4
00:00:09,399 --> 00:00:10,197
It's official--
5
00:00:10,274 --> 00:00:13,307
there's only two Billie
Cunninghams in the phone book,
6
00:00:13,439 --> 00:00:16,002
and neither of those guys
thinks he's my soul mate.
7
00:00:16,086 --> 00:00:17,373
Billie, Billie, Billie...
8
00:00:17,476 --> 00:00:19,448
don't you want to hear
what's been going on with us?
9
00:00:19,532 --> 00:00:22,239
Randy was our town crier
while you were comatose.
10
00:00:22,305 --> 00:00:24,427
That's actually a clever
play on words, in that he both
11
00:00:24,540 --> 00:00:27,122
recorded the town
happenings and cried a lot.
12
00:00:27,394 --> 00:00:28,502
Read the list, dumb-dumb.
13
00:00:28,596 --> 00:00:32,061
I got a notepad, I got a paper cut,
14
00:00:32,242 --> 00:00:36,130
fire marshal kicked Joy and family
out of their sideways trailer.
15
00:00:36,270 --> 00:00:37,951
That's right, dip van winkle,
16
00:00:38,111 --> 00:00:40,346
the trailer's still on its
side since you knocked it over,
17
00:00:40,449 --> 00:00:41,942
so now we live in the Crab Shack.
18
00:00:42,019 --> 00:00:44,836
I'm telling you, you
gotta carry the three.
19
00:00:44,986 --> 00:00:47,052
This is my spelling homework.
20
00:00:47,399 --> 00:00:48,911
Joy, I promise i'll get your trailer
21
00:00:49,005 --> 00:00:51,905
tipped right side up as soon as I
get enough money to rent a crane.
22
00:00:51,990 --> 00:00:56,177
A raccoon fought a opossum
for half a bag of french fries
23
00:00:56,290 --> 00:00:57,905
in the motel parking lot.
24
00:00:58,121 --> 00:00:59,830
A fry got left behind.
25
00:01:00,027 --> 00:01:01,173
I ate a fry.
26
00:01:01,250 --> 00:01:03,099
Oh... And I'm a lesbian.
27
00:01:03,315 --> 00:01:04,724
Catalina, it's not your turn yet.
28
00:01:04,771 --> 00:01:07,719
Did I just hear chiquita banana
say she isn't into bananas anymore?
29
00:01:07,850 --> 00:01:09,419
What happened, you get a bad banana?
30
00:01:09,573 --> 00:01:12,653
It wasn't the bananas, it was
the trees who waggle them around.
31
00:01:12,737 --> 00:01:15,043
In the wizard of Oz,
the trees threw apples.
32
00:01:15,184 --> 00:01:16,132
Trees are bastards.
33
00:01:16,208 --> 00:01:17,494
All my men are bastards:
34
00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:19,776
My father, who gambled me
away in a foosball game,
35
00:01:19,832 --> 00:01:20,949
and my childhood sweetheart,
36
00:01:21,006 --> 00:01:23,766
who convinced me to come to
this country only to abandon me--
37
00:01:23,806 --> 00:01:27,064
Thanks to him, now I live a fairy
tale life of a maid and a stripper.
38
00:01:27,214 --> 00:01:29,703
Oh, please, I know what you're up to.
39
00:01:29,873 --> 00:01:32,944
Pretending to be a lesbian will probably
double your business at Club Chubby.
40
00:01:33,075 --> 00:01:34,099
When I was in high school,
41
00:01:34,211 --> 00:01:37,235
I told my gym teacher I was
a lesbian just to get a "B."
42
00:01:37,377 --> 00:01:38,908
If she hadn't called
my bluff in the shower,
43
00:01:38,983 --> 00:01:39,941
I would've gotten an "A."
44
00:01:40,016 --> 00:01:42,063
I'm a real chapstick lesbian.
45
00:01:42,166 --> 00:01:45,011
The only person I want to
strip for now is Miss Right.
46
00:01:45,097 --> 00:01:48,149
Well, good luck, I'm looking
for my miss right, too.
47
00:01:48,205 --> 00:01:51,191
Damn, Earl, you got Frank's
car, you got Frank's trailer.
48
00:01:51,275 --> 00:01:52,684
Now you want Frank's ex?
49
00:01:52,768 --> 00:01:54,806
Why you gotta sleep inside
everything that's Frank's?
50
00:01:54,883 --> 00:01:57,324
Joy's little insult
gave me an idea.
51
00:01:57,475 --> 00:01:58,968
That's how I'll find Billie:
52
00:01:59,137 --> 00:02:00,235
Frank.
53
00:02:00,536 --> 00:02:02,029
Let's go, Randy.
54
00:02:03,446 --> 00:02:04,986
Finish up your homework, boys.
55
00:02:05,118 --> 00:02:07,418
The crab water's almost
cool enough for your bath.
56
00:02:11,484 --> 00:02:13,625
We found out, because
of prison overcrowding,
57
00:02:13,719 --> 00:02:16,122
Frank had been sent
to a halfway house.
58
00:02:18,772 --> 00:02:20,612
I wasn't looking forward
to talking to Frank,
59
00:02:20,744 --> 00:02:23,382
seeing how he used to
date Billie and he's crazy,
60
00:02:23,570 --> 00:02:25,373
but he was my only
chance of finding her.
61
00:02:25,467 --> 00:02:26,490
Oh, my god.
62
00:02:26,558 --> 00:02:27,290
Hey.
63
00:02:27,450 --> 00:02:29,178
Oh, my god, it's good to see you.
64
00:02:29,281 --> 00:02:30,173
So how are you?
65
00:02:30,267 --> 00:02:31,197
Hungry--
66
00:02:31,319 --> 00:02:32,323
really hungry.
67
00:02:32,389 --> 00:02:35,544
They put tranquilizers in
our food to keep us down.
68
00:02:38,548 --> 00:02:39,693
I'm starving.
69
00:02:39,844 --> 00:02:42,210
I actually ate a bar of soap yesterday.
70
00:02:42,341 --> 00:02:43,844
This morning, I pooped bubbles.
71
00:02:44,050 --> 00:02:45,571
Guys were running around popping them.
72
00:02:45,741 --> 00:02:47,150
Hey, it's crazy in here.
73
00:02:47,234 --> 00:02:48,746
You want a little fruit?
74
00:02:52,004 --> 00:02:54,896
I carry apple slices in my pocket now.
75
00:02:55,166 --> 00:02:57,326
We haven't gotten to that page yet.
76
00:02:57,842 --> 00:03:00,190
I gotta say, you're looking good, Frank.
77
00:03:00,359 --> 00:03:02,068
Strong, healthy.
78
00:03:02,208 --> 00:03:03,194
Beautiful necklace.
79
00:03:03,279 --> 00:03:05,176
No, this is not just a necklace.
80
00:03:05,489 --> 00:03:07,611
I learned that the hard way.
81
00:03:09,629 --> 00:03:11,789
Ice cream! Ice cream!
82
00:03:18,483 --> 00:03:19,779
Hey, Paco.
83
00:03:19,948 --> 00:03:21,638
Saludos, Earl, Randy.
84
00:03:21,685 --> 00:03:24,098
I used to deliver for
Camden foreign foods.
85
00:03:24,276 --> 00:03:26,605
Being Señor Lo Mein sucks, doesn't it?
86
00:03:26,719 --> 00:03:28,729
Yes, but if you have a job,
87
00:03:28,776 --> 00:03:30,156
they take your collar
off and let you out
88
00:03:30,306 --> 00:03:31,621
of here for eight hours a day.
89
00:03:31,733 --> 00:03:33,461
Why don't you get a job like Paco?
90
00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:36,711
I refuse to dress like a bullfighting
yoler and dance like a monkey.
91
00:03:36,815 --> 00:03:38,514
Keep eating slop, genius.
92
00:03:38,685 --> 00:03:39,446
Bye.
93
00:03:41,258 --> 00:03:44,469
So we just, uh, came by to
find out how you were doing.
94
00:03:44,657 --> 00:03:47,070
I thought we were here
to find Billie, remember?
95
00:03:47,236 --> 00:03:49,828
You said you were scared
because Frank used to date her.
96
00:03:50,016 --> 00:03:53,349
You also said that one of us
should do all the talking...
97
00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:55,415
it was you--
go ahead, Earl.
98
00:03:55,527 --> 00:03:58,053
Whoa, whoa, whoa, you
want to date Billie?
99
00:03:58,117 --> 00:04:00,999
Yes, and... and I just want you
to know that karma's on my side,
100
00:04:01,093 --> 00:04:03,347
so if you attack me, something
bad will happen to you.
101
00:04:03,835 --> 00:04:05,300
You know what, don't worry about it.
102
00:04:05,356 --> 00:04:07,018
I... I'm over her anyway.
103
00:04:07,121 --> 00:04:09,469
Really? You're really over her?
104
00:04:09,530 --> 00:04:12,412
Yeah, plus she's living
a good life now, like you.
105
00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:16,009
It'd be like if Mother Theresa started
dating that bald guy in the diapers.
106
00:04:16,178 --> 00:04:18,084
What... What's his name?
107
00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:20,084
Gumby!
108
00:04:20,736 --> 00:04:22,690
Thanks, Frank, that means a lot.
109
00:04:22,962 --> 00:04:24,427
So, can you help me find Billie?
110
00:04:24,511 --> 00:04:26,981
Yeah, yeah, I can do that,
but you gotta help me first.
111
00:04:27,065 --> 00:04:29,347
I need a job, so I can
get out of here every day.
112
00:04:29,502 --> 00:04:32,535
Maybe we can get him a
job as a bikini inspector.
113
00:04:33,081 --> 00:04:35,428
I've seen uniforms on sale at the mall.
114
00:04:35,475 --> 00:04:36,959
Or he could be a beaver hunter,
115
00:04:37,156 --> 00:04:39,466
but you might need a license for that.
116
00:04:40,264 --> 00:04:41,597
I knew I needed Frank's help,
117
00:04:41,710 --> 00:04:44,020
so went to see if Darnell
would be willing to hire him.
118
00:04:44,142 --> 00:04:45,494
He won't even be around to bother you,
119
00:04:45,616 --> 00:04:48,123
'cause he'll be helping me find Billie.
120
00:04:50,133 --> 00:04:51,550
Are you sure the boys are okay?
121
00:04:51,627 --> 00:04:55,101
I told them they were bunk
beds, and they believed me.
122
00:04:56,078 --> 00:04:58,810
Starting to realize there's no
point in saving up for college.
123
00:04:58,932 --> 00:05:00,885
I'll hire Frank if it's okay with Joy.
124
00:05:00,991 --> 00:05:04,042
The man did point a gun at her
belly when she was delivering a baby.
125
00:05:04,155 --> 00:05:06,709
It wasn't my baby,
I don't give a crap.
126
00:05:07,854 --> 00:05:11,009
Oh, come on, who calls a bar after 7:00?
127
00:05:11,142 --> 00:05:13,264
We got kids sleeping!
128
00:05:13,903 --> 00:05:16,185
The next day, Frank
was officially employed
129
00:05:16,241 --> 00:05:18,654
and pretty excited to get
a little taste of freedom.
130
00:05:27,751 --> 00:05:30,747
Frank thought the best place to look
for Billie was her cousin, Jocelyn's.
131
00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:32,859
You have a lot of nerve
thinking you can walk
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00:05:32,953 --> 00:05:34,869
in here and ask me for a favor, dirtbag.
133
00:05:34,965 --> 00:05:36,796
Did I mention that I
may have had sex with
134
00:05:36,881 --> 00:05:39,097
Jocelyn while me and Billie
were on a short break?
135
00:05:39,350 --> 00:05:40,787
No, you did not.
136
00:05:41,789 --> 00:05:44,156
Because he's too much of a gentleman.
137
00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:49,855
I'm gonna go for a run.
138
00:05:53,836 --> 00:05:55,517
So have you heard from Billie?
139
00:05:55,705 --> 00:05:56,738
I may have.
140
00:05:56,907 --> 00:05:58,832
Come on, Jocelyn, baby,
don't be pissed.
141
00:05:58,954 --> 00:06:03,893
Besides, me and Billie are over,
and you are looking so fine, girl.
142
00:06:04,099 --> 00:06:05,836
You know, she has the
most incredible feet.
143
00:06:05,893 --> 00:06:06,691
Go ahead, show him your feet.
144
00:06:06,738 --> 00:06:07,639
Let him see them.
145
00:06:08,982 --> 00:06:10,531
Frank.
146
00:06:11,545 --> 00:06:13,141
She stayed here for a while after
147
00:06:13,199 --> 00:06:15,716
she got kicked out of
nursing school for cheating.
148
00:06:15,810 --> 00:06:16,552
Mmm, there they are.
149
00:06:16,655 --> 00:06:19,077
There is the stuff right there, girl.
150
00:06:19,153 --> 00:06:19,876
Cheating?
151
00:06:19,941 --> 00:06:21,434
Billie was living a good life.
152
00:06:21,547 --> 00:06:23,086
My diabetic ass--
153
00:06:23,218 --> 00:06:24,523
that girl's been going nuts.
154
00:06:24,711 --> 00:06:27,096
She stole my rent
money, siphoned my gas,
155
00:06:27,190 --> 00:06:29,284
and then robbed a liquor
store on christmas day.
156
00:06:29,501 --> 00:06:32,384
I mean, who holds someone at
gunpoint on Jesus's birthday?
157
00:06:32,497 --> 00:06:34,309
Billie hit me on Christmas day.
158
00:06:34,816 --> 00:06:36,722
She was probably running
from the liquor store.
159
00:06:36,825 --> 00:06:38,891
Sounds like your girl's
gone back to the dark side.
160
00:06:39,024 --> 00:06:40,874
Come here and take a look
at these little sausages.
161
00:06:41,043 --> 00:06:42,357
They're fantastic.
162
00:06:42,677 --> 00:06:45,681
Jocelyn, do you have any
idea where Billie is now?
163
00:06:45,796 --> 00:06:48,190
She called a week or
so ago, needing help.
164
00:06:48,322 --> 00:06:49,824
Same old story.
165
00:06:50,050 --> 00:06:52,247
You can check my caller id if you want.
166
00:06:52,669 --> 00:06:54,237
This little piggy went to the market,
167
00:06:54,697 --> 00:06:56,566
this little piggy stayed home.
168
00:06:56,694 --> 00:06:59,173
Jocelyn, you remember where
this little piggy went?
169
00:07:00,271 --> 00:07:02,421
We didn't know how to
trace the caller id number,
170
00:07:02,478 --> 00:07:04,243
so we went
to the only person we knew
171
00:07:04,244 --> 00:07:06,008
who had access to the
world wide web.
172
00:07:06,095 --> 00:07:09,147
Yeah, it seemed like karma was
bringing Billie to me as a reward,
173
00:07:09,287 --> 00:07:12,339
but now I realize karma was
also bringing me to Billie.
174
00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:15,101
I think I'm supposed to help
her get her life back on track.
175
00:07:15,167 --> 00:07:17,552
Karma wants her to be our girlfriend.
176
00:07:17,674 --> 00:07:21,611
Ah, that couldn't be more romantic
if manilow sang it in a bubble bath.
177
00:07:22,944 --> 00:07:24,503
Oh, here's the number.
178
00:07:24,597 --> 00:07:26,362
Oh, looks like it's a pay phone.
179
00:07:26,812 --> 00:07:29,451
Hey, what's this website
you got covered up?
180
00:07:29,613 --> 00:07:30,551
What's a dilf?
181
00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:31,349
Oh, uh, uh...
182
00:07:31,481 --> 00:07:32,119
that's, uh...
183
00:07:32,194 --> 00:07:33,932
dads I'd like to find.
184
00:07:34,026 --> 00:07:36,882
I... I've lost touch with the fathers
of some of my childhood friends.
185
00:07:36,955 --> 00:07:38,914
Well, let's check and
see if our dad's on there.
186
00:07:39,002 --> 00:07:39,524
Well...
187
00:07:41,282 --> 00:07:44,465
Is that really what dad's doing mom???
188
00:07:45,504 --> 00:07:47,528
Kenny gave us the
address for the pay phone,
189
00:07:47,594 --> 00:07:50,335
so we went there and waited,
hoping we'd see Billie.
190
00:07:50,450 --> 00:07:52,891
We decided that me and Frank
would watch to the south,
191
00:07:52,994 --> 00:07:54,534
Randy would keep an eye
on the north.
192
00:07:54,609 --> 00:07:56,469
So, Frank, what does Billie like?
193
00:07:56,591 --> 00:07:58,600
Any tips you can give me to help me out?
194
00:07:58,666 --> 00:08:00,525
Well, she was really
into my musky scent.
195
00:08:00,633 --> 00:08:03,281
Yeah, I used to drive
her crazy with this move.
196
00:08:07,384 --> 00:08:09,271
Women are complicated.
197
00:08:10,045 --> 00:08:10,833
Stuart?
198
00:08:11,463 --> 00:08:12,702
Oh, hey, Earl.
199
00:08:12,777 --> 00:08:15,200
That's Stuart Daniels,
former cop, current bowler.
200
00:08:15,303 --> 00:08:16,448
He was on my list.
201
00:08:16,777 --> 00:08:17,763
Hey, I remember you.
202
00:08:17,829 --> 00:08:18,580
Your, uh...
203
00:08:18,636 --> 00:08:20,592
your mother's the police chief, right?
204
00:08:20,686 --> 00:08:22,780
And your sister's that
fiery little redheaded cop
205
00:08:22,855 --> 00:08:25,353
that likes to frisk all
the way up to the sack.
206
00:08:25,972 --> 00:08:27,043
Is she seeing anyone?
207
00:08:27,118 --> 00:08:27,916
No...
208
00:08:28,029 --> 00:08:29,362
So what are you doing on my street?
209
00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:31,974
We're looking for a
girl, Billie Cunningham.
210
00:08:32,049 --> 00:08:33,176
She hit me with her car.
211
00:08:33,260 --> 00:08:34,368
Haven't seen her.
212
00:08:34,444 --> 00:08:37,692
Turned out Stuart knew more
about Billie than he was saying.
213
00:08:37,758 --> 00:08:40,812
Stuart first met Billie
when he hit her with his car.
214
00:08:45,567 --> 00:08:47,389
Oh, crap.
215
00:08:48,516 --> 00:08:51,436
He started visiting her,
because he was feeling guilty.
216
00:08:55,524 --> 00:08:59,392
But as he spent more time with her,
he started to feel other things.
217
00:08:59,974 --> 00:09:01,139
Stuart had once hit a dog,
218
00:09:01,233 --> 00:09:03,195
brought it home and
nursed it back to health,
219
00:09:03,467 --> 00:09:05,045
and he thought, if the
dog grew to love him,
220
00:09:05,112 --> 00:09:06,680
why couldn't Billie?
221
00:09:07,206 --> 00:09:09,168
And finally, Billie woke up.
222
00:09:09,544 --> 00:09:11,478
So, no one knows who hit me?
223
00:09:11,525 --> 00:09:12,577
Total mystery,
224
00:09:12,747 --> 00:09:14,297
and since you don't remember,
225
00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:15,574
I guess we'll never know.
226
00:09:15,649 --> 00:09:18,682
No, the only thing I
remember is hitting Earl.
227
00:09:19,067 --> 00:09:20,203
Is he okay?
228
00:09:20,334 --> 00:09:21,705
I'm the one who found you.
229
00:09:21,884 --> 00:09:23,264
I've been watching over you.
230
00:09:23,398 --> 00:09:24,665
Do you need a place to stay?
231
00:09:24,712 --> 00:09:25,576
I've got my own room.
232
00:09:25,642 --> 00:09:26,731
Is Earl okay?
233
00:09:26,834 --> 00:09:28,487
Uh, what if he was?
234
00:09:28,703 --> 00:09:30,478
I mean, how would you feel?
235
00:09:30,778 --> 00:09:31,501
Happy.
236
00:09:31,794 --> 00:09:33,982
But me, how would you feel about me?
237
00:09:34,545 --> 00:09:35,691
Would you stay with me?
238
00:09:35,822 --> 00:09:36,846
I don't even know you.
239
00:09:36,893 --> 00:09:37,681
Right.
240
00:09:38,029 --> 00:09:39,240
Right.
241
00:09:40,669 --> 00:09:42,472
Earl's dead--
you killed him.
242
00:09:44,726 --> 00:09:45,824
Oh, God.
243
00:09:46,012 --> 00:09:47,073
Oh, my God.
244
00:09:47,235 --> 00:09:49,376
Stuart told Billie she was in trouble
and the cops had been coming every day,
245
00:09:49,460 --> 00:09:52,080
waiting to ask her questions.
246
00:09:52,221 --> 00:09:54,850
And, believing him,
she let him sneak her out of the hospital.
247
00:09:54,918 --> 00:09:57,096
He squeezed me, he squeezed me!
248
00:09:57,209 --> 00:10:00,035
Eventually, she got away from Stuart
long enough to make a phone call.
249
00:10:00,082 --> 00:10:01,782
Jocelyn, you gotta help me.
250
00:10:01,857 --> 00:10:03,998
I'm sure the cops have
been there looking for me.
251
00:10:04,092 --> 00:10:06,329
I'm staying with this really creepy guy.
252
00:10:06,535 --> 00:10:08,948
He wears swim trunks in the shower...
253
00:10:09,108 --> 00:10:10,150
and a baseball hat.
254
00:10:10,638 --> 00:10:11,690
Good luck finding
that girl -
255
00:10:11,765 --> 00:10:12,516
I'll keep an eye out for her.
256
00:10:12,650 --> 00:10:15,720
Uh, sorry, I have to go,
I have some lettuce I gotta put in the crisper.
257
00:10:16,237 --> 00:10:17,720
The cops are right outside
looking for you.
258
00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:19,119
We gotta move.
259
00:10:24,777 --> 00:10:27,726
After two long days
of staking out Billie's pay phone,
260
00:10:27,773 --> 00:10:29,444
we finally caught a break.
261
00:10:29,566 --> 00:10:32,017
Unfortunately, it was a bad break.
262
00:10:33,737 --> 00:10:35,747
While we were figuring out
what to do next,
263
00:10:35,822 --> 00:10:39,700
Stuart and Billie had already
settled into their new hiding place.
264
00:10:43,493 --> 00:10:44,404
Hello.
265
00:10:44,708 --> 00:10:47,112
Did someone order... towels?
266
00:10:47,337 --> 00:10:49,262
Sure, you can just put them right there.
267
00:10:52,718 --> 00:10:53,704
Hi!
268
00:10:53,807 --> 00:10:55,206
I'm Catalina.
269
00:10:55,328 --> 00:10:56,905
And you are?
270
00:10:58,539 --> 00:10:59,647
Roxanne.
271
00:10:59,779 --> 00:11:01,159
Roxanne.
272
00:11:01,377 --> 00:11:03,968
You look like you have
some tangles in the back.
273
00:11:04,128 --> 00:11:05,752
Would you like me to...
274
00:11:09,245 --> 00:11:11,302
This is nice.
275
00:11:11,349 --> 00:11:14,176
Two girls hanging out,
276
00:11:14,335 --> 00:11:18,730
brushing each other's hair,
like God intended.
277
00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:26,039
Did you just lick my neck?
278
00:11:26,199 --> 00:11:27,757
Yes. No. Maybe.
279
00:11:27,861 --> 00:11:28,518
It was a bug.
280
00:11:28,584 --> 00:11:30,049
Did you like it?
281
00:11:30,935 --> 00:11:33,310
I think I'm just go
get my clothes on now.
282
00:11:33,404 --> 00:11:35,329
I'm probably coming on too strong.
283
00:11:35,479 --> 00:11:36,803
I'm a new lesbian.
284
00:11:36,925 --> 00:11:38,381
Please call.
285
00:11:39,423 --> 00:11:42,447
Hey! You're that balding guy
my friend Earl helped.
286
00:11:42,653 --> 00:11:43,621
He lives two doors down.
287
00:11:43,705 --> 00:11:45,611
I'll let him know you're here.
288
00:11:47,311 --> 00:11:48,287
Hey, Billie,
289
00:11:48,606 --> 00:11:49,752
I just saw the cops outside.
290
00:11:49,799 --> 00:11:50,982
We got to move!
291
00:11:51,115 --> 00:11:52,176
Do I have time to get dressed?
292
00:11:52,336 --> 00:11:54,993
Yes. But no bra and panties.
293
00:11:56,345 --> 00:11:57,923
I didn't know what to do next.
294
00:11:58,112 --> 00:12:01,690
But I'd never been more sure
Karma wanted me and Billie to be together.
295
00:12:01,821 --> 00:12:03,896
She's robbing liquor
stores on Christmas?
296
00:12:04,093 --> 00:12:06,131
I got to find her.
Not just for me,
297
00:12:06,244 --> 00:12:08,103
her life's out of control.
298
00:12:08,537 --> 00:12:09,683
Very interesting, Earl.
299
00:12:09,748 --> 00:12:11,204
How's that crane rental coming?
300
00:12:11,307 --> 00:12:12,988
Hook me up, Darnell.
301
00:12:15,251 --> 00:12:16,396
Damn it, Darnell!
302
00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:18,208
You hit the tonic button.
303
00:12:18,304 --> 00:12:20,492
Now I got to add some gin
just to make it taste right.
304
00:12:20,595 --> 00:12:22,041
So what are we gonna do now, Earl?
305
00:12:22,116 --> 00:12:23,093
Where are we gonna find her?
306
00:12:23,196 --> 00:12:24,163
I don't know.
307
00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:26,379
Why don't you ask Karma?
308
00:12:29,529 --> 00:12:31,332
What do I do now, Karma?
309
00:12:31,374 --> 00:12:33,064
How do I find her?
310
00:12:36,848 --> 00:12:39,364
Crab shack/Turner residence.
311
00:12:39,796 --> 00:12:41,261
It's for you.
312
00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:45,265
Hello?
313
00:12:45,538 --> 00:12:46,223
I've got your girl;
314
00:12:46,326 --> 00:12:47,463
get over here fast.
315
00:12:47,735 --> 00:12:49,697
Stuart and Kenny had
a unique friendship,
316
00:12:49,838 --> 00:12:53,795
and apparently, Stuart felt like
Kenny's would a safe hiding place.
317
00:12:54,180 --> 00:12:54,987
Hi, Stuart.
318
00:12:55,072 --> 00:12:56,612
Oh, who's your ugly friend?
319
00:12:56,724 --> 00:12:57,964
This is, uh, Roxanne.
320
00:12:58,086 --> 00:13:00,462
Stuart told Kenny he was doing
some undercover police work
321
00:13:00,527 --> 00:13:03,222
for his mom
and Roxanne was a witness
322
00:13:03,299 --> 00:13:05,412
in an upcoming murder trial.
323
00:13:10,832 --> 00:13:11,884
Just say something.
324
00:13:11,940 --> 00:13:13,386
We're live on my blog.
325
00:13:13,546 --> 00:13:14,560
Hello, Kenny's friends.
326
00:13:14,701 --> 00:13:16,297
See? I told you he was funny.
327
00:13:16,645 --> 00:13:17,762
Stuart.
328
00:13:18,335 --> 00:13:19,969
Mom's here.
329
00:13:20,372 --> 00:13:22,264
Is this really the plan?
330
00:13:22,377 --> 00:13:25,973
Am I supposed to just sit around
while you two blog each other?
331
00:13:26,593 --> 00:13:28,969
Well, what a little mouth on her.
332
00:13:29,166 --> 00:13:31,091
Kenny, can you keep a secret?
333
00:13:31,466 --> 00:13:33,542
Is it about something
you tried in college?
334
00:13:34,772 --> 00:13:37,964
So Stuart told him about Billie
and Kenny couldn't pass up
335
00:13:38,058 --> 00:13:40,969
the chance to make
their threesome a twosome.
336
00:13:42,988 --> 00:13:44,152
There she is.
337
00:13:47,093 --> 00:13:48,868
How's my breath?
338
00:13:50,276 --> 00:13:51,779
Really warm.
339
00:13:51,893 --> 00:13:54,935
Seeing Billie took my
"really warm" breath away.
340
00:13:55,170 --> 00:13:58,897
Unfortunately, seeing Billie seemed
to have the same effect on Frank.
341
00:13:59,095 --> 00:14:01,742
I should have known as soon as
he heard Billie was bad again,
342
00:14:01,839 --> 00:14:03,172
he'd want her back.
343
00:14:04,609 --> 00:14:05,717
Come on,
344
00:14:05,998 --> 00:14:07,454
let's go get that woman.
345
00:14:07,660 --> 00:14:08,862
For me.
346
00:14:09,365 --> 00:14:10,492
Of course, for you.
347
00:14:10,633 --> 00:14:13,647
Now, if you're nervous,
I could go in there and talk to her first.
348
00:14:13,713 --> 00:14:15,572
Th-that's really nice of you.
349
00:14:15,619 --> 00:14:16,605
Yeah.
350
00:14:17,685 --> 00:14:20,426
Yeah, well, I'm a really nice guy.
351
00:14:21,864 --> 00:14:25,047
You know I just realized,
I can't talk to Billie now.
352
00:14:25,151 --> 00:14:27,141
I got to go home, get cleaned up,
353
00:14:27,198 --> 00:14:29,461
maybe write down what I want to say.
354
00:14:29,770 --> 00:14:33,017
That, sir, is a great idea.
355
00:14:33,401 --> 00:14:35,589
We'll come back tomorrow.
356
00:14:36,688 --> 00:14:40,528
Well, I guess I should
be getting you back to the halfway house.
357
00:14:40,669 --> 00:14:43,469
And again, thank you for your help,
358
00:14:43,610 --> 00:14:45,929
my loyal, honest friend.
359
00:14:47,028 --> 00:14:49,929
Fire him, fire the bastard now.
360
00:14:50,397 --> 00:14:53,092
The next morning, Frank waited
to be released for work,
361
00:14:53,167 --> 00:14:54,519
but nobody unlocked him.
362
00:14:54,604 --> 00:14:57,299
Hey. Don't forget to unlock me.
363
00:14:57,393 --> 00:14:58,932
You got fired, champ.
364
00:14:59,928 --> 00:15:01,918
Now who looks ridiculous?
365
00:15:02,574 --> 00:15:05,794
Okay, still me,
but at least I, Paco, get to leave.
366
00:15:05,869 --> 00:15:06,602
Bye.
367
00:15:10,996 --> 00:15:14,027
I thought about going to Billie's
right after I dropped Frank off,
368
00:15:14,234 --> 00:15:17,802
but I realized I only had one shot to
convince Billie she was my soul mate.
369
00:15:17,952 --> 00:15:19,398
I wanted to make sure I got it right.
370
00:15:19,502 --> 00:15:23,786
And even though most of those words were
written by Bret Michaels in the '80s,
371
00:15:23,861 --> 00:15:25,720
they're coming straight from my heart.
372
00:15:26,142 --> 00:15:26,950
What do you think?
373
00:15:27,081 --> 00:15:30,302
I think she's gonna lo... bird!
374
00:15:34,856 --> 00:15:37,382
It's not every day you tell a
woman you're meant to be together,
375
00:15:37,476 --> 00:15:39,523
but I felt surprisingly calm.
376
00:15:39,665 --> 00:15:42,191
Everything in my life was
finally coming together.
377
00:15:42,989 --> 00:15:43,891
Billie's mine!
378
00:15:43,966 --> 00:15:45,346
You can't have her.
379
00:15:45,468 --> 00:15:47,393
Karma wants us together, Frank.
380
00:15:47,496 --> 00:15:48,690
You can't stop this.
381
00:15:48,737 --> 00:15:49,169
Yeah?!
382
00:15:49,235 --> 00:15:50,953
Eat poo, backstabber.
383
00:15:51,113 --> 00:15:54,493
While I had my hands full outside,
Billie was in a battle of her own.
384
00:15:54,559 --> 00:15:57,723
I need to go on the run by myself,
and I'm gonna need money.
385
00:15:58,005 --> 00:15:59,629
So I'm robbing you, Kenny.
386
00:15:59,723 --> 00:16:00,850
I want to be up front about that.
387
00:16:00,962 --> 00:16:02,343
Billie, please,
let's be reasonable, okay?
388
00:16:02,399 --> 00:16:03,582
Think about all I've done for you.
389
00:16:03,620 --> 00:16:05,676
Just like a woman.
I'll bet she's on her period.
390
00:16:05,751 --> 00:16:06,831
Tie yourselves up.
391
00:16:07,002 --> 00:16:08,101
Oh, I'll do it.
392
00:16:09,443 --> 00:16:12,805
Billie, where are you gonna find a guy
who cares about you as much as I do?
393
00:16:12,870 --> 00:16:14,899
I don't need anyone to care about me.
394
00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:16,298
I can take care of myself.
395
00:16:16,421 --> 00:16:17,689
There's not a lot of rope here.
396
00:16:17,820 --> 00:16:19,464
I know, I'll tie us together.
397
00:16:20,252 --> 00:16:21,858
Face-to-face is
probably safest.
398
00:16:21,961 --> 00:16:23,191
Billie, please, let's think...
399
00:16:23,266 --> 00:16:24,694
She is over you!
400
00:16:24,872 --> 00:16:26,806
Can you put in
that Moby CD on your way out?
401
00:16:26,847 --> 00:16:29,072
You can't go outside, Billie,
the cops are after you.
402
00:16:29,148 --> 00:16:31,692
You murdered Earl Hickey.
403
00:16:34,190 --> 00:16:34,828
Earl?
404
00:16:34,950 --> 00:16:36,209
Not my day.
405
00:16:36,594 --> 00:16:37,899
But I thought I murdered you.
406
00:16:38,004 --> 00:16:41,309
I was just in a coma,
but it was beautiful there.
407
00:16:41,469 --> 00:16:46,652
In my mind, I saw you every day
and we had a kid and a theme song.
408
00:16:48,489 --> 00:16:50,292
Why are they tied up?
409
00:16:51,428 --> 00:16:53,156
Billie, I love you.
410
00:16:53,306 --> 00:16:55,334
And before you decide
which one of us you want to kiss,
411
00:16:55,419 --> 00:16:58,729
you should know that about five minutes ago,
Earl ate poo right outside.
412
00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:00,537
What is going on?
413
00:17:00,828 --> 00:17:02,340
Karma brought us together;
414
00:17:02,462 --> 00:17:03,870
that's why you hit me.
415
00:17:04,077 --> 00:17:05,223
We're supposed to be together.
416
00:17:05,267 --> 00:17:05,990
I hit her, too -
417
00:17:06,079 --> 00:17:07,534
maybe Karma brought us together.
418
00:17:07,628 --> 00:17:09,102
Wait, you're the one that hit me?
419
00:17:09,224 --> 00:17:10,135
I was going to tell you.
420
00:17:10,245 --> 00:17:12,226
Stuart, shut up and
press tighter against me.
421
00:17:12,329 --> 00:17:13,907
It's the only way we're
gonna survive this thing.
422
00:17:14,057 --> 00:17:16,677
There's even $100,000 insurance
settlement waiting for you.
423
00:17:16,789 --> 00:17:18,489
All you have to do is sign a form.
424
00:17:18,631 --> 00:17:21,101
I thought we could use it to
get married and buy a house?
425
00:17:21,223 --> 00:17:23,242
Hello, lover, your getaway car is here.
426
00:17:23,307 --> 00:17:24,293
I don't believe this.
427
00:17:24,350 --> 00:17:25,448
What are you doing here?
428
00:17:25,533 --> 00:17:27,035
I'm here because I'm in love with her.
429
00:17:27,148 --> 00:17:28,218
I'm in love with her.
430
00:17:28,271 --> 00:17:30,149
- So am I.
- Yeah, me too.
431
00:17:31,964 --> 00:17:34,772
Look, Billie, this isn't
how I wanted things to go.
432
00:17:34,885 --> 00:17:38,002
I came here wearing a clean shirt
and holding flowers.
433
00:17:38,064 --> 00:17:40,703
And I was supposed to be the only person
in the room who loved you.
434
00:17:40,787 --> 00:17:41,746
Oh, whatever.
435
00:17:41,801 --> 00:17:43,830
I'm the only person in the
room who really knows you.
436
00:17:43,923 --> 00:17:46,496
I mean, who was there when
your aunt - what's her name? - died?
437
00:17:46,571 --> 00:17:47,529
You mean my mom.
438
00:17:47,614 --> 00:17:48,543
Yeah, her.
439
00:17:49,763 --> 00:17:52,824
Billie, Karma brought us together
for a reason.
440
00:17:53,050 --> 00:17:56,129
I went back to my old ways,
you went back to your old ways.
441
00:17:56,214 --> 00:17:57,453
We both got hit.
442
00:17:57,594 --> 00:17:59,406
Karma wants us to be good,
443
00:17:59,758 --> 00:18:01,683
but I think we're supposed
to be good together.
444
00:18:01,796 --> 00:18:04,500
Or... we could be bad together.
445
00:18:04,582 --> 00:18:07,633
I learned things in prison
that will blow your mind.
446
00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:10,291
Billie, how else can you explain it?
447
00:18:10,384 --> 00:18:13,924
When we both lost our way,
we found each other.
448
00:18:17,415 --> 00:18:18,729
I'm sorry, Frank.
449
00:18:19,987 --> 00:18:21,339
I can't go with you.
450
00:18:22,391 --> 00:18:23,555
Or you.
451
00:18:24,213 --> 00:18:26,147
And certainly not you.
452
00:18:30,112 --> 00:18:32,685
Because I'm supposed to be with you.
453
00:18:40,523 --> 00:18:41,575
Fine.
454
00:18:41,978 --> 00:18:43,247
Fine, well...
455
00:18:43,948 --> 00:18:46,186
you know, you should know
that you're gonna be saying bye
456
00:18:46,390 --> 00:18:49,604
to the best thing you ever had.
457
00:18:50,309 --> 00:18:51,306
Oh, who am I kidding.
458
00:18:51,504 --> 00:18:52,858
Even I don't believe that.
459
00:18:52,982 --> 00:18:54,427
Hey, best of luck to you, all right?
460
00:18:57,332 --> 00:18:59,191
This isn't the way
I thought it would end.
461
00:18:59,534 --> 00:19:01,606
I thought it would end with our
naked breasts pressed together,
462
00:19:01,878 --> 00:19:03,808
our long, smooth legs intertwined.
463
00:19:04,093 --> 00:19:05,031
Barf.
464
00:19:11,980 --> 00:19:13,165
You smell great.
465
00:19:14,106 --> 00:19:16,967
Oh, yeah, Frank must have sweated
on me when we were fighting.
466
00:19:17,373 --> 00:19:19,621
No. It's not him.
467
00:19:22,464 --> 00:19:23,593
It's you.
468
00:19:24,177 --> 00:19:26,413
Me and Billie had finally found each other,
469
00:19:26,509 --> 00:19:29,118
but we weren't the only ones
Karma was looking out for.
470
00:19:30,547 --> 00:19:32,806
I'm gonna die alone
in my mother's house.
471
00:19:33,389 --> 00:19:35,870
Or we could die in each
other's arms as old men living
472
00:19:35,978 --> 00:19:38,027
in Boca Raton surrounded
by Jack Russell terriers.
473
00:19:40,995 --> 00:19:42,350
I love Jack Russell terriers.
474
00:19:46,810 --> 00:19:49,245
And Karma wasn't only
connecting new lovers;
475
00:19:49,302 --> 00:19:50,930
it was reconnecting old ones.
476
00:19:51,043 --> 00:19:52,699
Catalina!
477
00:19:58,269 --> 00:19:59,596
Catalina!
478
00:19:59,652 --> 00:20:00,864
Paco!
479
00:20:06,248 --> 00:20:08,348
Like Catalina and her childhood sweetheart.
480
00:20:09,382 --> 00:20:11,645
And a convict and his plus-sized lover.
481
00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:17,886
And Billie did use that $100,000
from Stuart's insurance to get married.
482
00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:19,491
But not to Stuart.
483
00:20:20,226 --> 00:20:23,039
For the third time,
I got hitched to a woman I hardly knew.
484
00:20:23,463 --> 00:20:27,656
But much like fifth grade, I think
the third time, I got it right.
485
00:20:37,186 --> 00:20:39,859
Finally, life was just
where Karma wanted it.
486
00:20:40,085 --> 00:20:42,033
And where I wanted it, too.
487
00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:46,464
Karma Team
experts.heberg-forum.net