1
00:00:04,789 --> 00:00:06,300
Randy, what are you doing ?
2
00:00:06,469 --> 00:00:08,916
Grandpa tied that tie for me,
five years ago.
3
00:00:09,042 --> 00:00:10,808
You know I don't know
how to tie it again.
4
00:00:11,176 --> 00:00:12,083
I'm sorry Earl.
5
00:00:12,209 --> 00:00:13,799
I just wanted to show you
how I'd look like
6
00:00:13,925 --> 00:00:15,623
as a drunk guy at Natey's party.
7
00:00:17,749 --> 00:00:19,839
Nice, Rock The Casbah.
8
00:00:19,965 --> 00:00:22,682
Hurry up, if I'm late for the funeral,
I'm gonna get in trouble.
9
00:00:22,808 --> 00:00:23,810
The last girl to show up
10
00:00:23,938 --> 00:00:26,120
has to give to the departed
his final lapdance.
11
00:00:28,472 --> 00:00:29,796
There was only one man in town
12
00:00:29,921 --> 00:00:32,683
who could make people afraid
of him even from beyond the grave.
13
00:00:35,100 --> 00:00:36,866
And that man was Richard Chubby.
14
00:00:37,399 --> 00:00:40,320
During his lifetime, Richard Chubby
was a powerful businessman.
15
00:00:40,456 --> 00:00:42,333
He owned everything
worth owning in Camden.
16
00:00:42,465 --> 00:00:45,122
Come on down !
And don't forget,
17
00:00:45,287 --> 00:00:48,590
sweat pants are allowed
and truckers shower for free
18
00:00:49,736 --> 00:00:52,773
And Richard Chubby liked more
than just the smell of money.
19
00:00:53,865 --> 00:00:56,403
And when you combine
all that money and all that power,
20
00:00:56,537 --> 00:00:57,893
you get a whole lot of crazy.
21
00:00:58,017 --> 00:00:58,902
Open up.
22
00:01:03,958 --> 00:01:04,901
Vodka.
23
00:01:05,327 --> 00:01:07,642
And, even if he didn't have
a weapon in his hand,
24
00:01:07,766 --> 00:01:09,650
his hand was still a weapon.
25
00:01:10,806 --> 00:01:13,483
It was the scariest, when even Chubby
didn't know what he was doing.
26
00:01:13,605 --> 00:01:15,591
Would you like me
to freshen that drink for you ?
27
00:01:18,978 --> 00:01:20,491
I got the wrong gun !
28
00:01:22,147 --> 00:01:24,131
The was a huge crowd
at Chubby's funeral.
29
00:01:24,267 --> 00:01:25,832
Not cause people loved him but,
30
00:01:25,965 --> 00:01:28,922
cause attendance was mandatory
for all of Chubby employees.
31
00:01:29,057 --> 00:01:29,852
Even worse,
32
00:01:29,987 --> 00:01:32,513
the service's scheduled
during their own paid lunch break.
33
00:01:32,637 --> 00:01:33,632
It's damn shame.
34
00:01:33,765 --> 00:01:36,273
I heard Chubby was just trying
to do a vodka shot,
35
00:01:36,408 --> 00:01:38,690
picked up the wrong gun
and blew his head off.
36
00:01:38,827 --> 00:01:39,800
Poor guy.
37
00:01:39,938 --> 00:01:41,242
Could happen to anybody.
38
00:01:41,365 --> 00:01:42,410
You know we could leave.
39
00:01:42,548 --> 00:01:44,293
It's not like Chubby
is gonna pop out of the coffin
40
00:01:44,428 --> 00:01:45,792
and kill people if they walk out.
41
00:01:45,928 --> 00:01:48,033
The reason we're staying
is because of the new boss.
42
00:01:48,167 --> 00:01:50,190
They say, he's even worse.
43
00:01:54,278 --> 00:01:55,472
Catalina was right.
44
00:01:55,598 --> 00:01:57,371
The new boss was even worse.
45
00:01:57,508 --> 00:01:58,690
Cause, with Big Chubby gone,
46
00:01:58,827 --> 00:02:01,731
there was only one person
to take over the family business.
47
00:02:02,045 --> 00:02:03,123
His son.
48
00:02:03,288 --> 00:02:04,542
Little Chubby.
49
00:02:04,668 --> 00:02:06,903
Transcript: Reivilo,
Cordesh and Raceman
50
00:02:06,996 --> 00:02:08,403
Synchro : Dingo
www.forom.com
51
00:02:06,437 --> 00:02:07,933
My name is Earl.
52
00:02:08,525 --> 00:02:09,921
Since Big Chubby had died,
53
00:02:10,045 --> 00:02:12,840
his son was the most powerful man
in Camden County.
54
00:02:13,018 --> 00:02:14,230
That made me nervous,
55
00:02:14,355 --> 00:02:16,193
since me and him had history.
56
00:02:17,277 --> 00:02:19,443
Few years ago,
Little Chubby favorite hobby
57
00:02:19,577 --> 00:02:20,862
was messing with people.
58
00:02:21,068 --> 00:02:22,793
- He messed with Randy.
- Hey, Randy.
59
00:02:22,928 --> 00:02:24,722
There is a spot on your shirt.
60
00:02:25,198 --> 00:02:27,083
I'm not looking down.
I'm not falling for that again.
61
00:02:27,206 --> 00:02:28,903
Come on, look at it,
I'll be a lot of laughs.
62
00:02:29,868 --> 00:02:31,083
All right, fine, you win.
63
00:02:35,856 --> 00:02:36,980
He messed with me.
64
00:02:37,118 --> 00:02:38,501
Come on, Earl,
get your ear pierced.
65
00:02:38,626 --> 00:02:39,220
You know,
66
00:02:39,225 --> 00:02:40,740
that way we can be
earring buddies.
67
00:02:40,875 --> 00:02:43,183
Earrings aren't really my thing, L.C.
68
00:02:44,428 --> 00:02:46,350
So what you're saying is you think--
69
00:02:46,476 --> 00:02:47,643
you think earrings look stupid.
70
00:02:47,778 --> 00:02:50,272
No, no, no, no, that's not
what I'm saying. I like earrings.
71
00:02:50,406 --> 00:02:51,720
Yeah, I think
that's what you're saying.
72
00:02:51,905 --> 00:02:54,370
Little Chubby ?!
Little Chubby ?!
73
00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:55,611
What are you doing ?
74
00:02:59,267 --> 00:03:00,273
Let me take a look.
75
00:03:01,676 --> 00:03:03,070
Maybe you're right.
It does look stupid.
76
00:03:05,475 --> 00:03:07,681
I think this ear means you're gay.
77
00:03:08,175 --> 00:03:09,921
Even messed with Crabman.
78
00:03:10,046 --> 00:03:11,962
Hey, that's Fine Young Cannibals.
79
00:03:14,288 --> 00:03:15,511
I'll tell you something.
80
00:03:15,747 --> 00:03:16,980
I do not...
81
00:03:17,108 --> 00:03:17,932
like...
82
00:03:20,426 --> 00:03:21,611
Fine Young Cannibals.
83
00:03:23,855 --> 00:03:25,830
But the reason
he ended up on my list was,
84
00:03:25,955 --> 00:03:28,231
he messed with Joy when she was
pregnant of Earl Junior.
85
00:03:28,367 --> 00:03:29,623
Did I ever tell that I--
86
00:03:29,757 --> 00:03:31,882
always had a fantasy to do it
with a pregnant chick.
87
00:03:32,156 --> 00:03:33,341
It's like having sex
with a fat chick,
88
00:03:33,476 --> 00:03:35,391
except I can't get her pregnant.
89
00:03:35,526 --> 00:03:37,411
Yeah, I wouldn't have sex with you
90
00:03:37,538 --> 00:03:40,662
if I was starving and
your wiener was a ham sandwich.
91
00:03:41,057 --> 00:03:43,030
Ham wiener, classic.
92
00:03:52,145 --> 00:03:53,473
Yeah, while...
93
00:03:53,597 --> 00:03:56,011
you were laughing, I accidentally
cut off your rat tail.
94
00:03:56,297 --> 00:03:58,172
So, I'll tell you what there,
pretty girl.
95
00:03:58,308 --> 00:04:00,650
Why don't we see
if you can drink this,
96
00:04:00,788 --> 00:04:02,520
before I cut off your hair.
97
00:04:05,216 --> 00:04:06,273
Hurry up.
98
00:04:12,025 --> 00:04:13,831
He made me drink Randy's rat tail.
99
00:04:13,967 --> 00:04:15,800
I would've rather drank
a real rat tail.
100
00:04:15,936 --> 00:04:17,343
You need to kill Little Chubby,
101
00:04:17,477 --> 00:04:18,192
slowly.
102
00:04:18,318 --> 00:04:20,701
Are you crazy ?
I'm not messing with that psycho.
103
00:04:20,827 --> 00:04:21,993
Well then, you should have
married a whore
104
00:04:22,128 --> 00:04:23,490
who doesn't mind
being disrespected by men,
105
00:04:23,628 --> 00:04:25,321
instead of a real lady like me.
106
00:04:25,458 --> 00:04:28,180
There was no point arguing with Joy
over Little Chubby, or
107
00:04:28,318 --> 00:04:29,980
that real lady comment.
108
00:04:30,118 --> 00:04:33,050
I wanted to make her happy
without getting myself killed
109
00:04:33,185 --> 00:04:35,393
wich mean I'd have to be
really really clever.
110
00:04:52,428 --> 00:04:54,060
Number 43 on my list.
111
00:04:54,197 --> 00:04:55,720
Racked a rich guy.
112
00:04:57,178 --> 00:04:58,323
The day after the funeral,
113
00:04:58,445 --> 00:05:01,271
I went to talk to little Chubby
to tell him what I had done.
114
00:05:01,405 --> 00:05:03,813
I'd expected him
to do something crazy, but
115
00:05:03,936 --> 00:05:04,902
not this.
116
00:05:05,027 --> 00:05:05,940
Earl.
117
00:05:06,107 --> 00:05:07,131
I want to thank you.
118
00:05:07,498 --> 00:05:09,131
Thruth is,
the day you kicked me was--
119
00:05:09,268 --> 00:05:10,921
that was a turning point in my life.
120
00:05:11,718 --> 00:05:13,141
Little Chubby explained that
121
00:05:13,278 --> 00:05:16,133
what hurt more than a stabbing pain
in his baby makers was
122
00:05:16,257 --> 00:05:18,343
realization that everyone hated him.
123
00:05:20,908 --> 00:05:22,081
And even weeks later,
124
00:05:22,218 --> 00:05:23,860
he couldn't shake the pain.
125
00:05:28,387 --> 00:05:30,272
And so, he just kept walking.
126
00:05:31,977 --> 00:05:33,591
When a rich person is upset,
127
00:05:33,716 --> 00:05:36,080
they can do more than just
take a walk around the block.
128
00:05:36,207 --> 00:05:37,473
They can take a walk anywhere.
129
00:05:37,608 --> 00:05:39,030
What's up aborigines ?
130
00:05:41,395 --> 00:05:42,923
And somewhere along his walk,
131
00:05:43,058 --> 00:05:45,613
he got the idea to be
a nice person in the world.
132
00:05:45,748 --> 00:05:47,742
Do good deeds like feed the hungry.
133
00:05:47,877 --> 00:05:49,850
Alright, you aborigines,
wich one of you had a
134
00:05:49,985 --> 00:05:51,410
Vegemite on wheat ?
135
00:05:52,296 --> 00:05:55,163
The more he talked, the more I realized
we had something in common.
136
00:05:55,295 --> 00:05:56,772
We were both
trying to be better people.
137
00:05:56,908 --> 00:05:57,900
So I didn't want to come back
138
00:05:58,026 --> 00:05:59,633
but somebody had to run
the family business.
139
00:05:59,768 --> 00:06:01,331
I'm not gonna do like my Dad did.
140
00:06:01,465 --> 00:06:03,862
It's gonna be a kinder gentler
Club Chubby for now on.
141
00:06:03,995 --> 00:06:06,050
Got a heated stripper pole for gals.
142
00:06:06,186 --> 00:06:08,401
Screening for Hep C,
free of charge.
143
00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:10,090
And, huh, I finally put a...
144
00:06:10,222 --> 00:06:11,776
put a light bulb in the VIP room.
145
00:06:11,901 --> 00:06:13,263
Can I touch the heated pole ?
146
00:06:13,380 --> 00:06:14,686
Yeah, sure, knock yourself out.
147
00:06:16,299 --> 00:06:18,653
Anyway, Earl, I want to thank you
for making me a better person.
148
00:06:18,788 --> 00:06:21,162
Maybey if somebody kicked my dad
in the nuts years ago, he
149
00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:23,140
would'nt be such a mean guy and
150
00:06:23,418 --> 00:06:24,772
my mom wouldn't hit the highway.
151
00:06:24,905 --> 00:06:27,220
Well, that must have been tough
seeing your mom leave.
152
00:06:27,357 --> 00:06:28,131
No, she didn't leave.
153
00:06:28,268 --> 00:06:30,241
My dad threw her out a moving car.
154
00:06:30,408 --> 00:06:31,172
Still,
155
00:06:31,298 --> 00:06:32,333
it's tough to watch.
156
00:06:32,485 --> 00:06:33,302
Anyways,
157
00:06:33,735 --> 00:06:34,970
thanks a lot.
158
00:06:35,185 --> 00:06:36,973
Just want...
Just want to thank you.
159
00:06:37,815 --> 00:06:38,700
Come here.
160
00:06:38,865 --> 00:06:41,280
It's male intimacy.
It's not just for gays anymore.
161
00:06:55,257 --> 00:06:56,281
Thank you.
162
00:06:57,098 --> 00:06:57,990
Thank you.
163
00:06:58,128 --> 00:06:59,230
Thank you.
164
00:07:00,727 --> 00:07:03,121
I don't think I'm allowed
to take phone numbers.
165
00:07:05,197 --> 00:07:07,822
Since it turned out Little Chubby
was a whole new guy,
166
00:07:07,955 --> 00:07:09,752
we started to hanging out
with him again.
167
00:07:09,875 --> 00:07:11,731
Only this time, he didn't scare
the hell out of us.
168
00:07:11,865 --> 00:07:13,992
I wanted to get you a card,
but they didn't have one that said...
169
00:07:14,125 --> 00:07:15,760
sorry I cut out your rat tail.
170
00:07:17,335 --> 00:07:18,862
Cool.
171
00:07:20,366 --> 00:07:22,672
This is way softer
than my real hair.
172
00:07:24,117 --> 00:07:26,543
He even let us hang out
at the mansion he inherited and
173
00:07:26,667 --> 00:07:28,973
live like they did on silver spoons.
174
00:07:30,505 --> 00:07:31,262
Hey, Joy.
175
00:07:31,395 --> 00:07:32,010
Hey, foetus.
176
00:07:32,146 --> 00:07:32,921
How are you two doing, Joy.
177
00:07:33,057 --> 00:07:34,790
Living large L.C.
178
00:07:34,926 --> 00:07:36,541
Man, is this thing comfortable ?
179
00:07:36,665 --> 00:07:38,923
They should make wheelchairs
out of this stuff.
180
00:07:39,057 --> 00:07:41,213
Then nobody would bitch
about being in one.
181
00:07:44,427 --> 00:07:45,912
I love it here.
182
00:07:52,426 --> 00:07:54,022
Man, I'm rusty.
183
00:08:00,446 --> 00:08:01,450
Who's that ?
184
00:08:02,825 --> 00:08:03,972
Well, just enjoy.
185
00:08:04,546 --> 00:08:05,950
Pretty nice up here, huh ?
186
00:08:06,086 --> 00:08:07,390
Huh, yeah.
187
00:08:07,517 --> 00:08:09,812
I could get used
to living like this again.
188
00:08:11,228 --> 00:08:13,580
Well, I'm just happy I can share
with people, you know ?
189
00:08:13,795 --> 00:08:14,571
Friends.
190
00:08:18,046 --> 00:08:20,781
It was nice seeing a man who used
to be so angry all the time
191
00:08:20,915 --> 00:08:21,910
be so happy.
192
00:08:22,288 --> 00:08:23,291
Hey, I want you to, huh,
193
00:08:23,416 --> 00:08:25,071
grab yourself some fresh food.
194
00:08:25,517 --> 00:08:27,192
And I'm gonna catch a few of Z's.
195
00:08:33,385 --> 00:08:34,750
Still, I wanted to do some'
196
00:08:34,876 --> 00:08:37,152
so I could cross
Little Chubby off my list.
197
00:08:37,288 --> 00:08:40,643
But, I couldn't figure out what
since his life was so perfect.
198
00:08:42,246 --> 00:08:44,683
Then I saw his freakishly
damaged Little Chubbies
199
00:08:44,815 --> 00:08:46,893
and I realized
he had two giant problems.
200
00:08:47,016 --> 00:08:48,612
Hey, Earl, you never gonna...
201
00:08:49,028 --> 00:08:50,593
Oh my God....
202
00:08:50,717 --> 00:08:52,723
Ever since I've seen
his robe fall open,
203
00:08:52,845 --> 00:08:54,591
I couldn't get
Little Chubby crazy looking
204
00:08:54,716 --> 00:08:56,750
gonad pouch off my brain.
205
00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:59,011
And so, he was back on my list.
206
00:08:59,148 --> 00:08:59,740
Yeah,
207
00:08:59,858 --> 00:09:03,060
it's about half big each one was.
Now, show 'em the color.
208
00:09:03,185 --> 00:09:05,340
It was mostly purple like this.
209
00:09:05,476 --> 00:09:07,323
But there was black and blue too.
210
00:09:07,458 --> 00:09:10,510
Then, there where streaks
of a color I can only describe as
211
00:09:11,438 --> 00:09:12,033
roarange.
212
00:09:12,167 --> 00:09:15,093
That's probably why he always
made that sound when he sat down.
213
00:09:15,215 --> 00:09:17,481
I thought it's 'cause
he was just relaxing.
214
00:09:18,396 --> 00:09:19,450
Hey guys, how's it going ?
215
00:09:19,586 --> 00:09:21,030
Hey, man.
Sit down and join us.
216
00:09:21,168 --> 00:09:22,191
Don't mind if I do ?
217
00:09:37,406 --> 00:09:38,373
So, how're you guys doing ?
218
00:09:38,566 --> 00:09:39,852
And for the shape,
219
00:09:39,978 --> 00:09:41,170
I'm really gonna need a hammer.
220
00:09:41,307 --> 00:09:44,381
It looks like I always picturing
Grimace's McNuggets.
221
00:09:44,515 --> 00:09:46,963
I bet that's why
he doesn't have a woman.
222
00:09:47,235 --> 00:09:48,330
Little Chubby, not Grimace.
223
00:09:48,458 --> 00:09:50,332
I'm sure Grimace
pulls chicks left and right.
224
00:09:50,458 --> 00:09:52,281
The injury could have
affected his libido
225
00:09:52,416 --> 00:09:53,533
like when you get a dog neutered
226
00:09:53,655 --> 00:09:55,310
and he doesn't wanna hump
your leg anymore
227
00:09:55,446 --> 00:09:56,902
even if you're wearing corduroy.
228
00:09:57,026 --> 00:09:58,652
That explain why he didn't even look
229
00:09:58,775 --> 00:10:01,003
when I kissed Lacy
on stage the other day.
230
00:10:01,855 --> 00:10:04,161
See, that's the look
I expected to get.
231
00:10:04,286 --> 00:10:06,800
Well, I got to make it up
to him somehow.
232
00:10:07,386 --> 00:10:09,703
I just hope he doesn't need
a transplant, cause,
233
00:10:09,835 --> 00:10:11,671
I don't think we're the same type.
234
00:10:12,808 --> 00:10:16,202
Okay, we don't compare this mango
to a man's nads, cause I wanna eat it.
235
00:10:17,435 --> 00:10:20,372
Nobody had any ideas
about how I could help Chubby.
236
00:10:20,505 --> 00:10:22,582
So I decided
to talk to him man-to-man.
237
00:10:22,716 --> 00:10:23,801
So you guys saw it, huh ?
238
00:10:23,938 --> 00:10:24,682
Well...
239
00:10:25,108 --> 00:10:25,800
Sorry, I--
240
00:10:25,927 --> 00:10:27,452
I hope that wasn't
too traumatic for you.
241
00:10:27,587 --> 00:10:29,371
You know some aborigine tribes actually,
242
00:10:29,507 --> 00:10:30,481
used to pray to them.
243
00:10:39,075 --> 00:10:41,020
So what do you say ?
Almost done here fellows ?
244
00:10:42,167 --> 00:10:44,012
To be honest,
I haven't looked at myself
245
00:10:44,145 --> 00:10:46,062
for months.
It kinda freaks me out.
246
00:10:46,658 --> 00:10:48,363
So one part of it has still--
247
00:10:48,746 --> 00:10:50,531
I just don't even have
the word to describe it, can I-- ?
248
00:10:50,656 --> 00:10:51,663
Browrange ?
249
00:10:51,795 --> 00:10:53,232
- Yeah, that's it.
- I'm afraid so.
250
00:10:53,366 --> 00:10:54,052
You also have
251
00:10:54,187 --> 00:10:54,831
bleen,
252
00:10:54,955 --> 00:10:55,551
yurple,
253
00:10:55,588 --> 00:10:56,480
and gred.
254
00:10:56,616 --> 00:10:57,462
Oh, that's not cool.
255
00:10:57,587 --> 00:10:59,042
So, it's nothing
that doctors can do ?
256
00:10:59,168 --> 00:11:00,060
Oh, I don't know.
257
00:11:00,195 --> 00:11:01,122
I've never been to a doctor.
258
00:11:01,258 --> 00:11:02,912
My dad always used to say--
259
00:11:03,206 --> 00:11:04,350
He said never trust a man, that
260
00:11:04,485 --> 00:11:05,691
wants to put his fingers
in your butt.
261
00:11:05,817 --> 00:11:07,590
Yeah, well, you can't argue
with that logic.
262
00:11:07,726 --> 00:11:08,720
Yeah, but on the other hand,
263
00:11:08,845 --> 00:11:11,060
if dad was so smart, why would he have a giant hole in his head,
264
00:11:11,198 --> 00:11:12,492
where vodka should be.
265
00:11:13,246 --> 00:11:15,011
So, uh...
Let's go see a doc, huh ?
266
00:11:18,566 --> 00:11:20,531
Cheese and crackers...
267
00:11:21,137 --> 00:11:22,803
That's something.
268
00:11:22,966 --> 00:11:24,532
I can see your heart beat.
269
00:11:25,086 --> 00:11:26,581
So, can you fix him ?
270
00:11:27,217 --> 00:11:29,171
Without a transplant, hopefully.
271
00:11:29,545 --> 00:11:30,860
Not that I wouldn't be willing.
272
00:11:30,995 --> 00:11:33,043
No, no transplant,
but I gotta say...
273
00:11:34,018 --> 00:11:36,603
You couldn't have kicked him
in a more perfect spot.
274
00:11:36,736 --> 00:11:37,872
Mister Chubby.
275
00:11:37,998 --> 00:11:40,383
You 've got an obdurate
testicular hematoma.
276
00:11:41,917 --> 00:11:43,162
You know any of those words ?
277
00:11:43,767 --> 00:11:45,622
He took the jingle
out of your bells, son,
278
00:11:45,747 --> 00:11:47,061
you're not making testosterone.
279
00:11:47,196 --> 00:11:48,980
That explains your low sex drive.
280
00:11:49,108 --> 00:11:51,520
And why you rented Memoirs
of a Geisha, the other night..
281
00:11:51,646 --> 00:11:54,372
Man that was the worst
kungfu movie ever.
282
00:11:54,517 --> 00:11:55,660
So as you can see, doc,
283
00:11:55,788 --> 00:11:57,700
we gotta fix this right away.
284
00:11:59,397 --> 00:12:01,503
Since I was the one
who had broken little Chubby,
285
00:12:01,625 --> 00:12:03,523
I thought, I should be there
when he got fixed.
286
00:12:03,648 --> 00:12:04,711
How you doing ?
287
00:12:04,847 --> 00:12:06,752
I'm not gonna lie to you,
Earl, I'm a little scared.
288
00:12:06,875 --> 00:12:08,050
I miss my mom.
289
00:12:08,265 --> 00:12:09,603
When I was a kid,
290
00:12:09,895 --> 00:12:12,093
I was afraid of the dark
and she'd hold my hand.
291
00:12:13,137 --> 00:12:14,621
Hold my hand, would you, Earl ?
292
00:12:20,236 --> 00:12:21,042
Sure.
293
00:12:21,166 --> 00:12:22,032
Thank you.
294
00:12:22,166 --> 00:12:23,091
Then she...
295
00:12:23,747 --> 00:12:25,043
She'd stroke my hair.
296
00:12:29,847 --> 00:12:30,631
There you go.
297
00:12:30,888 --> 00:12:32,012
Then she'd sing to me.
298
00:12:33,318 --> 00:12:35,100
Yeah, she was one hell
of a woman, wasn't she ?
299
00:12:35,226 --> 00:12:36,363
She was an angel, Earl.
300
00:12:36,498 --> 00:12:39,443
An absolute angel, you have no idea.
But, now she's dead.
301
00:12:39,728 --> 00:12:41,823
And this guy is gonna take
about a quart of
302
00:12:41,956 --> 00:12:43,530
liquid out of my sack.
303
00:12:43,887 --> 00:12:44,643
So,
304
00:12:45,067 --> 00:12:46,130
just sing to me, Earl.
305
00:12:47,135 --> 00:12:48,122
I remember she--
306
00:12:48,596 --> 00:12:49,881
she loved Skynyrd.
307
00:12:53,476 --> 00:12:54,480
Fine.
308
00:12:58,505 --> 00:13:03,533
If I leave here tomorrow
309
00:13:05,865 --> 00:13:10,161
Would you still remember me
310
00:13:12,416 --> 00:13:17,970
For I must be trav'ling on now
311
00:13:19,808 --> 00:13:24,053
'Cause there's too many places
I've got to see
312
00:13:27,437 --> 00:13:28,692
So, Little Chubby's doctor
313
00:13:28,827 --> 00:13:31,250
finally put Humptey and Dumptey
back together again.
314
00:13:31,378 --> 00:13:33,992
And me and Randy let our new friend
recover at the motel.
315
00:13:34,115 --> 00:13:35,890
The store is out of ice so
316
00:13:36,166 --> 00:13:37,681
your option is Popsicles or
317
00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:38,791
frozen dinners.
318
00:13:38,926 --> 00:13:41,390
I'd better stick with the Popsicles.
That picture of Mama Mia looks--
319
00:13:41,526 --> 00:13:43,240
a little bit too much like my grandma.
320
00:13:43,376 --> 00:13:46,072
Besides, it would be easyier to work
with popcycles around my stitches.
321
00:13:55,135 --> 00:13:56,023
Oh, no !
322
00:13:56,565 --> 00:13:57,330
Oh, please, no !
323
00:13:57,466 --> 00:13:58,683
Another sneeze ?
324
00:13:58,947 --> 00:14:00,080
Oh, yeah, a big one.
325
00:14:06,077 --> 00:14:08,381
I can barely look.
Did I pop a stitch ?
326
00:14:10,185 --> 00:14:12,001
No, it looks alright.
327
00:14:14,545 --> 00:14:17,710
Have Catalina bring up more towels
and I'll call the doctor.
328
00:14:22,056 --> 00:14:23,832
Luckily nothing fell out
before the doctor could
329
00:14:23,967 --> 00:14:25,230
restitch Little Chubby.
330
00:14:25,368 --> 00:14:26,622
And within a few days,
331
00:14:26,755 --> 00:14:28,370
his cherries didn't just look normal,
332
00:14:28,496 --> 00:14:30,961
they started sending
the proper signals up to his brain.
333
00:14:31,086 --> 00:14:32,153
Holy crap !
334
00:14:32,287 --> 00:14:36,132
Now, I get it. She jumps and all
the female body parts move around.
335
00:14:36,268 --> 00:14:37,211
Amazing.
336
00:14:37,525 --> 00:14:38,850
No wonder we make
a fortune in this place.
337
00:14:38,978 --> 00:14:41,341
I bet everybody here
has working testicles.
338
00:14:42,415 --> 00:14:43,873
Unfortunaly, testosterone
339
00:14:43,996 --> 00:14:46,700
brought back more than just
Little Chubby lust for the ladies.
340
00:14:46,835 --> 00:14:48,683
It brought back his aggression.
341
00:14:50,155 --> 00:14:51,693
Oh my God, I won.
342
00:14:52,007 --> 00:14:53,361
I never win.
343
00:14:53,667 --> 00:14:55,191
You must really suck.
344
00:14:55,327 --> 00:14:58,103
Yeah, congratulations.
345
00:15:12,328 --> 00:15:15,030
Before we knew it,
Chubby was up to his old tricks.
346
00:15:15,167 --> 00:15:16,721
Hey, that's my boat.
347
00:15:17,035 --> 00:15:18,270
How'd you like it
if I went to your house
348
00:15:18,398 --> 00:15:19,670
and used your crock pot...
349
00:15:19,806 --> 00:15:21,852
or whatever it is
you poor people cook with ?
350
00:15:27,587 --> 00:15:28,642
LC !
351
00:15:28,886 --> 00:15:30,210
What was that, limo backfire ?
352
00:15:30,347 --> 00:15:32,142
Hey, those are my Water Wings.
353
00:15:41,306 --> 00:15:42,790
You need to kill Little Chubby.
354
00:15:42,918 --> 00:15:45,583
He shot at the kids and then
he farted in my pool bag.
355
00:15:45,705 --> 00:15:46,971
And I had my lunch in there, Earl.
356
00:15:47,095 --> 00:15:48,870
He threw Mr. Turtle
on the trampoline.
357
00:15:48,996 --> 00:15:51,442
Mr. turtle can't do anything
on the trampoline.
358
00:15:51,577 --> 00:15:53,182
He was scared out of his mind.
359
00:15:53,317 --> 00:15:54,473
I miss my tail.
360
00:15:54,598 --> 00:15:56,772
Well, you're the ones
who said I should help him.
361
00:15:56,897 --> 00:15:59,962
We said you needed to fix him,
not turn him into a damn monster.
362
00:16:00,086 --> 00:16:03,340
And when I left tonight, he was forcing
two truckers to lap dance each other.
363
00:16:03,476 --> 00:16:05,350
It's getting dangerous
down there, I'm quitting.
364
00:16:05,487 --> 00:16:06,531
Oh, hell no, you're not.
365
00:16:06,665 --> 00:16:08,493
If you quit, Little Chubby
will pull my bail bond,
366
00:16:08,617 --> 00:16:09,622
and I ain't trying to go to prison
367
00:16:09,748 --> 00:16:11,931
just because you're afraid
of getting murdered at work.
368
00:16:12,196 --> 00:16:13,883
Earl, you better fix this.
369
00:16:15,857 --> 00:16:17,562
Fine, I'll talk to him.
370
00:16:17,695 --> 00:16:19,372
Were those truckers
good dancers like me,
371
00:16:19,497 --> 00:16:21,061
or did they just phone it in ?
372
00:16:24,356 --> 00:16:25,050
Little Chubby ?
373
00:16:25,178 --> 00:16:26,051
Hey, Earl.
374
00:16:26,615 --> 00:16:27,892
Okay, beat it, broads, come on.
375
00:16:28,026 --> 00:16:28,923
What's shaking ?
376
00:16:29,048 --> 00:16:30,233
Well, uh...
377
00:16:31,356 --> 00:16:32,002
Well, I--
378
00:16:32,128 --> 00:16:35,733
I'm just here 'cause the gang asked me
to come by and say hello and...
379
00:16:37,287 --> 00:16:39,252
Ah, that's funny.
That's The Three Stooges.
380
00:16:39,928 --> 00:16:41,371
Yeah, they're good.
381
00:16:41,926 --> 00:16:43,313
Listen, Little Chubby.
382
00:16:43,446 --> 00:16:44,952
I got to be honest with you.
383
00:16:46,156 --> 00:16:47,682
You're kind of becoming
a mean guy again.
384
00:16:47,807 --> 00:16:49,123
Mean guy ?
I don't understand.
385
00:16:50,385 --> 00:16:51,282
See that ?
386
00:16:51,486 --> 00:16:52,860
Well, kind of like that.
387
00:16:52,995 --> 00:16:55,282
I mean, that's something
your dad would have done.
388
00:16:55,415 --> 00:16:57,682
For God's sake, you've got one
of his guns in your pants,
389
00:16:57,807 --> 00:16:59,973
and nobody knows if it's loaded
with vodka or bullets.
390
00:17:00,105 --> 00:17:01,670
- It's bullets.
- Bullets.
391
00:17:01,807 --> 00:17:03,120
- Sure.
- See ?
392
00:17:03,866 --> 00:17:05,850
Well, you're right, Earl.
393
00:17:05,978 --> 00:17:07,450
What's happened to me ?
I'm becoming...
394
00:17:07,588 --> 00:17:08,710
becoming a jerk.
395
00:17:08,988 --> 00:17:11,901
I treat the girls bad.
I take shots at kids.
396
00:17:12,927 --> 00:17:13,953
I'm gonna have a drink.
397
00:17:14,738 --> 00:17:15,470
You want one ?
398
00:17:15,607 --> 00:17:16,550
Sure.
399
00:17:17,467 --> 00:17:18,503
I got to say,
400
00:17:18,627 --> 00:17:21,062
this is the third time
I've had to come into your club
401
00:17:21,195 --> 00:17:23,182
and have to tell you
something really awkward,
402
00:17:23,317 --> 00:17:25,471
but, hey, every time,
it turns out...
403
00:17:27,726 --> 00:17:28,962
That wasn't the Stooges.
404
00:17:29,097 --> 00:17:30,273
That was The Fall Guy.
405
00:17:32,397 --> 00:17:34,611
Oh, man, that was a weird dream.
406
00:17:35,176 --> 00:17:37,261
I was being hung up
in the back of a...
407
00:17:37,946 --> 00:17:39,160
Oh, my God !
408
00:17:42,108 --> 00:17:43,822
Hey, pally, how they hanging ?
409
00:17:43,946 --> 00:17:46,031
- What are you doing ?
- A little thing called payback.
410
00:17:46,167 --> 00:17:48,001
You may know it as a great
Mel Gibson movie,
411
00:17:48,127 --> 00:17:50,303
but it's also a synonym for revenge.
412
00:17:54,115 --> 00:17:55,272
Are you crazy ?
413
00:17:55,398 --> 00:17:58,531
No, you explode my marble pouch
and I explode yours.
414
00:17:58,655 --> 00:18:00,723
- Let me just adjust this.
- No, no, no, no, no !
415
00:18:00,857 --> 00:18:03,173
What happened to being
a good person ?
416
00:18:04,395 --> 00:18:05,311
What about...
417
00:18:06,628 --> 00:18:09,043
God, it hurts,
but I'm glad it's not my clackers.
418
00:18:09,928 --> 00:18:11,183
Well, that one was a little high.
419
00:18:11,315 --> 00:18:13,071
I'll just adjust it here and...
420
00:18:13,717 --> 00:18:15,431
You're going to be bummed out
about this one, I think.
421
00:18:15,558 --> 00:18:17,202
Please, can we,
can we talk about this ?
422
00:18:17,338 --> 00:18:18,673
You were happy being nice.
423
00:18:18,795 --> 00:18:22,091
You said you didn't want to die
being hated and alone like your dad.
424
00:18:22,216 --> 00:18:23,960
Well, that was back
when my sack was destroyed.
425
00:18:24,095 --> 00:18:25,811
Now I'm all man.
426
00:18:30,125 --> 00:18:30,752
I saved you.
427
00:18:30,878 --> 00:18:34,083
Look, I know there's
a good person in there.
428
00:18:34,557 --> 00:18:37,513
You're not just your dad's son,
you're your mom's son, too.
429
00:18:37,638 --> 00:18:40,111
Look, you're part her,
you are, but
430
00:18:40,245 --> 00:18:43,430
her part is being overwhelmed
by your dad's freaky hormone part.
431
00:18:43,555 --> 00:18:46,030
Look, I understand
what you're saying there, Earl, but
432
00:18:46,167 --> 00:18:47,063
what can I tell you ?
433
00:18:47,197 --> 00:18:50,311
I'm a Chubby : it's my destiny ;
it's in my blood.
434
00:18:52,207 --> 00:18:55,381
I knew he wasn't going to bunt
those balls away from mine forever.
435
00:18:55,517 --> 00:18:57,653
I needed to say something, anything.
436
00:18:57,775 --> 00:19:03,432
* 'Cause I'm as free as a bird now *
437
00:19:03,676 --> 00:19:05,262
* And this bird you cannot change... *
438
00:19:05,387 --> 00:19:07,802
I heard of people singing
for their supper, and
439
00:19:07,936 --> 00:19:11,042
I guess you might say I was singing
for my meat and potatoes, too.
440
00:19:12,436 --> 00:19:18,662
* Lord, I can't change *
441
00:19:23,307 --> 00:19:24,893
Little Chubby, pick up the bat.
442
00:19:26,956 --> 00:19:28,470
Please, pick up the bat.
443
00:19:28,865 --> 00:19:29,902
All I could do was
444
00:19:30,025 --> 00:19:31,553
hold my breath, cringe and
445
00:19:31,678 --> 00:19:33,850
wait to get rapped
by karma's baseball.
446
00:19:34,396 --> 00:19:35,122
And then,
447
00:19:35,256 --> 00:19:38,290
Little Chubby did something
I never thought I'd see a man do.
448
00:19:38,605 --> 00:19:40,612
He stood between me and karma.
449
00:19:45,657 --> 00:19:47,153
He didn't do it to protect me.
450
00:19:47,278 --> 00:19:50,312
He did it to protect himself...
from himself.
451
00:19:51,085 --> 00:19:53,240
And like someone
who can't handle their liquor,
452
00:19:53,377 --> 00:19:56,393
Little Chubby realized he couldn't
handle his testosterone.
453
00:19:56,567 --> 00:19:58,992
- So he went cold turkey.
- Thanks, Earl.
454
00:20:00,088 --> 00:20:03,163
I can't say I completely understood
why Little Chubby did what he did,
455
00:20:03,296 --> 00:20:06,530
but, well, it made sense to him,
and that was good enough for me.
456
00:20:06,655 --> 00:20:09,002
The thing, Earl, is that
in my life I've been
457
00:20:09,127 --> 00:20:10,771
feared and I've been loved,
458
00:20:10,905 --> 00:20:12,702
and I like being loved
a whole lot better.
459
00:20:12,836 --> 00:20:13,813
Little Chubby !
460
00:20:13,948 --> 00:20:15,173
Thank you for everything.
461
00:20:15,306 --> 00:20:17,253
I never had a health plan before.
462
00:20:17,375 --> 00:20:19,202
I have 12 cavities.
463
00:20:19,378 --> 00:20:21,090
So you have no regrets ?
464
00:20:21,216 --> 00:20:23,592
Well, looking back, I probably
would have gone the surgical route,
465
00:20:23,718 --> 00:20:25,513
but you mentioned my mother
and I got carried away.
466
00:20:25,645 --> 00:20:27,051
But the doctors say I should be
467
00:20:27,178 --> 00:20:29,000
walking again
in about a year or so.
468
00:20:29,638 --> 00:20:30,541
It's all good.
469
00:20:31,316 --> 00:20:32,992
As crazy as it all was,
470
00:20:33,127 --> 00:20:35,090
it also kind of
made me realize something.
471
00:20:35,396 --> 00:20:38,200
Sometimes happiness is about
giving up something precious
472
00:20:38,327 --> 00:20:39,411
to get something better.
473
00:20:39,676 --> 00:20:42,221
And it made me wonder :
would I do the same ?
474
00:20:42,357 --> 00:20:44,483
What would I sacrifice to be loved ?
475
00:20:45,328 --> 00:20:46,523
Not my balls.