1 00:00:03,196 --> 00:00:05,156 Camden County was having a heat wave. 2 00:00:05,282 --> 00:00:07,351 Me and Randy wanted to cool off in the pool. 3 00:00:07,477 --> 00:00:09,314 Unfortunately, we weren't the only ones. 4 00:00:09,440 --> 00:00:11,778 When do you think the mice are going to be done swimming ? 5 00:00:11,904 --> 00:00:13,207 I think they are done Randy. 6 00:00:13,333 --> 00:00:15,135 They're just never getting out of the pool. 7 00:00:16,007 --> 00:00:17,449 We can soak our feet in these, 8 00:00:17,575 --> 00:00:19,011 but my manager says we got to put the ice 9 00:00:19,137 --> 00:00:20,667 back in the machines when we're finished. 10 00:00:20,795 --> 00:00:22,670 I wish we had air conditioning. 11 00:00:23,122 --> 00:00:25,326 What Randy said got me thinking about someone else 12 00:00:25,451 --> 00:00:27,483 who probably wished he had air conditioning. 13 00:00:27,770 --> 00:00:29,806 He's #26 on my list. 14 00:00:32,519 --> 00:00:33,793 A few years back while Camden 15 00:00:33,915 --> 00:00:35,710 was in the middle of another heat wave, 16 00:00:35,845 --> 00:00:38,261 me and Randy were in the middle of a crime wave. 17 00:00:38,535 --> 00:00:41,520 Usually, we broke into houses looking for cool stuff. 18 00:00:41,686 --> 00:00:44,891 During the heat wave, we were happy just to find cool. 19 00:00:48,105 --> 00:00:50,140 Man, if everyone who had one of these 20 00:00:50,278 --> 00:00:52,080 would just open up their doors and share, 21 00:00:52,217 --> 00:00:54,192 we wouldn't have this stupid heat wave. 22 00:00:54,326 --> 00:00:55,763 I'm going shirts up. 23 00:00:58,337 --> 00:00:59,563 Hey... 24 00:01:03,807 --> 00:01:05,023 - Hey... - Hey... 25 00:01:08,098 --> 00:01:09,703 You guys want a sandwich ? 26 00:01:10,096 --> 00:01:12,460 Luckily for us, Woody smoked a lot of weed, 27 00:01:12,597 --> 00:01:14,673 and it never crossed his mind that we were burglars. 28 00:01:14,797 --> 00:01:16,970 He just assumed we were people he knew. 29 00:01:17,206 --> 00:01:17,803 I could eat. 30 00:01:20,756 --> 00:01:22,013 The right and proper thing to do 31 00:01:22,147 --> 00:01:24,022 would have been to clean him out and move on, 32 00:01:24,157 --> 00:01:26,843 but because of the heat wave, we decided to rob 33 00:01:26,977 --> 00:01:29,170 one piece at a time and enjoy the cool air. 34 00:01:38,475 --> 00:01:40,801 We thought we were busted for sure when Woody caught us 35 00:01:40,938 --> 00:01:42,831 rolling his fridge through the living room. 36 00:01:43,037 --> 00:01:45,193 But apparently, something called the munchies 37 00:01:45,326 --> 00:01:47,833 made it hard for him to concentrate on things, like, 38 00:01:48,047 --> 00:01:49,772 well, where the hell he was. 39 00:01:52,396 --> 00:01:54,462 We even tried smoking weed for the first time, 40 00:01:54,596 --> 00:01:55,750 but it wasn't for us. 41 00:01:55,888 --> 00:01:58,310 I kept having to check to see if I peed myself. 42 00:01:58,448 --> 00:02:01,280 And poor Randy was so high, he spent four and a half hours 43 00:02:01,406 --> 00:02:02,400 looking for his nose. 44 00:02:02,528 --> 00:02:04,781 Seriously, guys, did you hide it from me ? 45 00:02:08,755 --> 00:02:11,590 Eventually, there was only one thing left to steal. 46 00:02:19,198 --> 00:02:20,500 Go, go, go ! 47 00:02:23,908 --> 00:02:24,691 Hey, Woody. 48 00:02:24,828 --> 00:02:27,372 Uh, just adjusting the air here. 49 00:02:34,165 --> 00:02:35,692 I was sad to leave, but 50 00:02:35,826 --> 00:02:39,170 once we took the AC, well, there was no reason to stay. 51 00:02:42,105 --> 00:02:44,263 Come on, Randy, it's time to take care of #26. 52 00:02:44,385 --> 00:02:46,551 I need to give that stoner guy his AC back. 53 00:02:46,676 --> 00:02:49,363 It's too hot I can't take it anymore ! 54 00:02:53,267 --> 00:02:56,321 Nice splash, Randy. That got most of the mice out. 55 00:02:57,195 --> 00:03:00,111 We sold everything we took from Woody except for the AC, 56 00:03:00,247 --> 00:03:01,272 which was still at Joy's. 57 00:03:01,407 --> 00:03:03,042 - Hey Crab Man. - Hey Earl. 58 00:03:03,178 --> 00:03:04,393 What is that thing, a robot ? 59 00:03:04,516 --> 00:03:06,691 My deaf lawyer said that if I could pass a lie detector test 60 00:03:06,826 --> 00:03:09,000 saying that I didn't steal that truck, it'll help my case. 61 00:03:09,125 --> 00:03:10,880 So, I stole this old one from a swap meet. 62 00:03:11,345 --> 00:03:14,303 Don't bother trying to explain the irony ; she doesn't see it. 63 00:03:15,148 --> 00:03:16,170 Look, I got bad news. 64 00:03:16,307 --> 00:03:18,962 I need to take your air conditioner back to the guy I stole it from. 65 00:03:19,095 --> 00:03:21,473 Well, you're out of luck. We don't have an AC anymore. 66 00:03:25,878 --> 00:03:28,992 All right, we do have an air conditioner, 67 00:03:29,115 --> 00:03:30,813 but it's not the one you stole. 68 00:03:32,766 --> 00:03:33,002 Darnell, 69 00:03:33,128 --> 00:03:35,492 unhook me from this thing so I can have a normal conversation with Earl. 70 00:03:35,628 --> 00:03:36,882 Sorry, Joy, I'm taking it. 71 00:03:37,018 --> 00:03:37,610 Fine ! 72 00:03:37,735 --> 00:03:39,773 It's got nasty yellow jackets in it anyway. 73 00:03:39,907 --> 00:03:40,962 Hope you get stung. 74 00:03:41,098 --> 00:03:42,413 Could you hook me up to the machine 75 00:03:42,536 --> 00:03:44,370 and ask it if I'm ever gonna get married ? 76 00:03:44,498 --> 00:03:46,343 Well, I can tell you the answer to that. 77 00:03:49,295 --> 00:03:51,012 We stopped by Woody's apartment, 78 00:03:51,136 --> 00:03:52,782 but his landlord told us he'd moved out 79 00:03:52,918 --> 00:03:54,250 a couple of years before. 80 00:03:54,386 --> 00:03:56,752 Luckily, he left a forwarding address. 81 00:03:58,498 --> 00:03:59,593 This is it. 82 00:04:12,175 --> 00:04:13,773 Man, these hippies are crazy, Randy. 83 00:04:13,906 --> 00:04:16,523 That dude just ate something that was growing out of the ground. 84 00:04:18,457 --> 00:04:19,703 You think that's weird. 85 00:04:19,827 --> 00:04:22,190 There's a chick over there squeezing on a goat's ta-tas. 86 00:04:22,327 --> 00:04:25,131 All right, look, we'll just get this over with and get out of here. 87 00:04:25,435 --> 00:04:27,493 Uh, excuse me. 88 00:04:27,626 --> 00:04:28,782 Uh, excuse me. 89 00:04:28,916 --> 00:04:30,350 Can I help you ? 90 00:04:31,785 --> 00:04:33,160 - There's a naked old lady in the bush... - I know Randy. 91 00:04:33,285 --> 00:04:34,660 - What do we do ? What do we do ? - Just don't panic. Don't panic. 92 00:04:34,795 --> 00:04:35,970 - Randy, you're panicking. - What do we do ? 93 00:04:36,108 --> 00:04:37,431 Don't panic ! Don't panic ! 94 00:04:38,728 --> 00:04:42,081 Hello. Uh, ma'am, we're looking for a guy named 95 00:04:42,205 --> 00:04:44,073 Woody Maruzak. 96 00:04:44,195 --> 00:04:46,110 He's over there fixing that house. 97 00:04:46,247 --> 00:04:47,252 I'll show you. 98 00:04:47,376 --> 00:04:49,661 No no. We'll find him. 99 00:04:55,768 --> 00:04:56,651 Woody ? 100 00:04:57,396 --> 00:04:58,793 Earl and Randy Hickey. 101 00:04:58,926 --> 00:05:01,993 Hey, Earl and Randy Hickey. 102 00:05:02,145 --> 00:05:02,930 Look, I got to warn you. 103 00:05:03,066 --> 00:05:04,720 There's a naked old lady in your bushes. 104 00:05:04,855 --> 00:05:07,140 Oh, yeah, that's Nora ; she's a nudist. 105 00:05:07,267 --> 00:05:09,253 Kind of weird, if you ask me. But then again, 106 00:05:09,388 --> 00:05:11,723 it might be a little weird that I live in a dung cottage. 107 00:05:11,857 --> 00:05:13,950 What's dung ? 'Cause it smells like cow ploppies. 108 00:05:14,078 --> 00:05:15,781 Well, it's got cow ploppies in it, 109 00:05:15,918 --> 00:05:19,001 along with straw and a little mud for insulation. 110 00:05:19,436 --> 00:05:20,233 Well, what do you know ? 111 00:05:20,365 --> 00:05:23,433 Cow crap houses. That's interesting. 112 00:05:23,817 --> 00:05:25,420 Not interesting, Earl, crazy. 113 00:05:25,545 --> 00:05:27,770 He puts poo on his walls. That's what crazy people do. 114 00:05:27,895 --> 00:05:29,762 While Randy tried to fight the smell, 115 00:05:29,896 --> 00:05:32,870 I explained to Woody about my list and why I was there. 116 00:05:32,998 --> 00:05:34,893 And it took a little longer than normal 'cause 117 00:05:35,018 --> 00:05:37,502 not all of Woody's brain cells have quite grown back yet. 118 00:05:37,627 --> 00:05:40,223 That's great, that is really beautiful. 119 00:05:40,438 --> 00:05:42,820 You've really changed your life. I'm proud of you. 120 00:05:46,627 --> 00:05:50,253 I got to be honest, though. I have no idea who you are. 121 00:05:50,668 --> 00:05:52,332 I don't know if you know this, but I used to partake 122 00:05:52,467 --> 00:05:53,870 a little bit in the doobage. 123 00:05:53,995 --> 00:05:55,793 In fact, thanks to the drugs, 124 00:05:55,915 --> 00:05:58,523 there were huge sections of Woody's life he didn't remember. 125 00:05:58,655 --> 00:06:02,000 Until he woke up one day out of pot and accidentally sober. 126 00:06:02,917 --> 00:06:05,772 They say you never change your life until you've really hit bottom. 127 00:06:05,925 --> 00:06:08,281 And it helps that you hit it from a thousand feet up. 128 00:06:09,475 --> 00:06:13,060 That's when I quit drugs and moved up here to Sunshine Collective. 129 00:06:13,805 --> 00:06:16,410 We're an off-the-grid commune, totally self-sufficient, 130 00:06:16,547 --> 00:06:19,882 grow our own food and live completely free of electricity. 131 00:06:20,878 --> 00:06:23,780 Man, that weed stays in your system a long time, doesn't it ? 132 00:06:24,218 --> 00:06:25,813 So, where do you want me to put the AC ? 133 00:06:25,945 --> 00:06:27,431 And don't worry, I'm going to take you shopping 134 00:06:27,565 --> 00:06:28,792 for the other stuff we stole. 135 00:06:28,915 --> 00:06:29,830 No can do, Earl. 136 00:06:29,967 --> 00:06:33,073 I don't need any of those items of convenience anymore. 137 00:06:33,195 --> 00:06:35,901 But I got to do something, or I can't cross you off my list. 138 00:06:36,036 --> 00:06:38,120 Hmm. Well, I see your pickle. 139 00:06:39,038 --> 00:06:41,580 Hmm. How about this ? You and your brother, 140 00:06:41,716 --> 00:06:43,992 you both seem like you're pretty good polluters. 141 00:06:44,117 --> 00:06:45,313 What makes you say that ? 142 00:06:45,436 --> 00:06:47,580 You've been here a half hour and your car's still running. 143 00:06:47,708 --> 00:06:49,720 Oh, no, that's just so we can keep the fan on. 144 00:06:49,842 --> 00:06:52,896 We got a couple of Styrofoam cups of soda in it we want to keep cool. 145 00:06:53,011 --> 00:06:53,743 Well, how about this ? 146 00:06:53,870 --> 00:06:56,036 Why don't you stay with us for a week, see what we're all about ? 147 00:06:56,169 --> 00:06:58,930 At the very least, you'll reduce your eco footprint while you're here. 148 00:06:59,066 --> 00:07:00,862 You sure you don't want a radio or something ? 149 00:07:00,995 --> 00:07:03,903 We got one back at the motel that doesn't even take electricity. 150 00:07:04,028 --> 00:07:05,333 We put batteries in it. 151 00:07:06,297 --> 00:07:08,291 I'm sorry, that's all I can think of. 152 00:07:08,425 --> 00:07:09,740 Just one week, right ? 153 00:07:09,875 --> 00:07:12,033 Don't worry, you're going to love it. 154 00:07:12,178 --> 00:07:13,223 Hey, Nora ! 155 00:07:13,358 --> 00:07:15,913 Do you mind if these boys bunk with you for a few days ? 156 00:07:16,035 --> 00:07:19,001 I call a middle. 157 00:07:24,868 --> 00:07:26,232 ...had straw mattresses, 158 00:07:26,356 --> 00:07:27,310 which were actually comfortable 159 00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:29,750 once you got used to the straw poking in your back. 160 00:07:29,885 --> 00:07:31,201 We should get out of here, Earl. 161 00:07:31,326 --> 00:07:32,623 This place isn't natural. 162 00:07:32,746 --> 00:07:34,290 You know what someone told me last night ? 163 00:07:34,426 --> 00:07:35,961 They said they don't believe in plastic. 164 00:07:36,095 --> 00:07:38,551 That's just crazy ! Plastic exists ; I've seen it. 165 00:07:38,676 --> 00:07:40,053 We can't leave, Randy. 166 00:07:40,176 --> 00:07:43,532 Sometimes I just have to deal with strange people on this list. 167 00:07:44,745 --> 00:07:46,490 Morning, dudes ; time to get to work. 168 00:07:46,626 --> 00:07:49,081 - Okay, see you when you get back. - No no. You guys got to work. 169 00:07:49,205 --> 00:07:50,753 With you guys here, we got two more mouths to feed. 170 00:07:50,886 --> 00:07:51,972 Up and at them ! 171 00:07:53,388 --> 00:07:54,512 You heard him. 172 00:07:56,125 --> 00:07:57,383 Let's do this. 173 00:07:57,517 --> 00:07:58,452 Five more minutes. 174 00:07:58,578 --> 00:08:01,120 Come on, Randy, wakey, wakey, hands up. 175 00:08:01,756 --> 00:08:03,470 Randy, Randy, Randy, there's a snake. 176 00:08:03,597 --> 00:08:05,340 Randy, get up, there's a snake ! 177 00:08:05,466 --> 00:08:07,511 The first day, we learned that being off the grid 178 00:08:07,636 --> 00:08:10,212 means stuff that should be easy took a lot of work. 179 00:08:10,347 --> 00:08:13,160 First, you search the woods for fallen branches. 180 00:08:13,288 --> 00:08:14,770 Then you drag them back here, 181 00:08:14,896 --> 00:08:16,392 you debark the wood for the mulch pile, 182 00:08:16,526 --> 00:08:18,472 then you chop the rest to fire up the boiler. 183 00:08:18,595 --> 00:08:19,662 Then, after about three hours, 184 00:08:19,788 --> 00:08:21,473 you got five minutes of hot water. 185 00:08:21,597 --> 00:08:22,790 Now, if you take your shower, 186 00:08:22,926 --> 00:08:24,860 you clean the soot from the boiler, you put it in the ash pit, 187 00:08:24,987 --> 00:08:26,890 and then we can make soap out if it later. 188 00:08:31,686 --> 00:08:33,271 Guess who won't be taking showers. 189 00:08:33,407 --> 00:08:34,200 Yeah. 190 00:08:35,437 --> 00:08:36,220 The second day, 191 00:08:36,345 --> 00:08:38,473 we learned that stuff that should be complicated 192 00:08:38,608 --> 00:08:39,773 was way too simple. 193 00:08:40,406 --> 00:08:42,031 The bathroom is a bucket, Earl. 194 00:08:42,167 --> 00:08:43,181 Of course it is, Randy. 195 00:08:43,317 --> 00:08:45,452 Where do you think all this compost comes from ? 196 00:08:55,557 --> 00:08:57,630 The third day, we learned these hippie people 197 00:08:57,758 --> 00:08:59,191 could do some pretty amazing things. 198 00:08:59,325 --> 00:09:01,281 So you guys can make your own shirts ? 199 00:09:01,418 --> 00:09:03,862 We make a lot of our own clothes on this loom. 200 00:09:05,125 --> 00:09:06,311 Fruit of the loom. 201 00:09:07,067 --> 00:09:08,393 It all makes sense now. 202 00:09:10,566 --> 00:09:12,971 And every day, we learned when you grow your own food, 203 00:09:13,106 --> 00:09:15,051 you get vegetables at every meal. 204 00:09:15,187 --> 00:09:17,602 Even if they try to fool you into thinking it's something else. 205 00:09:17,736 --> 00:09:20,392 Hey, that's a fine-looking "burrito". 206 00:09:23,145 --> 00:09:24,583 Ooh... 207 00:09:25,095 --> 00:09:26,093 "Pizza." 208 00:09:30,916 --> 00:09:32,413 You got to love beet-loaf. 209 00:09:34,967 --> 00:09:37,880 I need to eat an animal. 210 00:09:39,686 --> 00:09:42,422 As the week went on, Randy wasn't doing well. 211 00:09:42,556 --> 00:09:45,733 And by the sixth day, I was really worried about him. 212 00:09:46,088 --> 00:09:47,372 Hey, guys. 213 00:09:48,318 --> 00:09:49,561 I know you've been having a little trouble 214 00:09:49,686 --> 00:09:51,631 unplugging from the grid, so I spoke to the gang. 215 00:09:51,768 --> 00:09:53,311 We thought we'd give you a little treat. 216 00:09:53,447 --> 00:09:54,710 You like the TV show "Friends" ? 217 00:09:54,908 --> 00:09:55,441 Yeah. 218 00:09:55,548 --> 00:09:58,551 We thought we'd put it on for you. Cheer you up a little. Come on. 219 00:10:03,806 --> 00:10:05,092 Hi, Joey. 220 00:10:05,226 --> 00:10:06,373 Hi, Rachel. 221 00:10:06,496 --> 00:10:07,762 How you doing ? 222 00:10:07,896 --> 00:10:08,682 What's happening ? 223 00:10:08,818 --> 00:10:10,510 These are real people. Where's the TV ? 224 00:10:10,637 --> 00:10:13,592 We don't have a TV, but one of our members was a huge fan. 225 00:10:13,727 --> 00:10:16,641 Today's episode is loosely based on what she remembers of 226 00:10:16,776 --> 00:10:19,073 "The One With the Evil Orthodontist." 227 00:10:19,205 --> 00:10:20,291 Hey... 228 00:10:20,425 --> 00:10:22,003 it's Chandler. 229 00:10:22,136 --> 00:10:25,823 Hey, Chandler, is it hot out today ? 230 00:10:25,948 --> 00:10:27,933 Could it be any hotter ? 231 00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:32,230 Whoa, did I just say that out loud ? Hey, Ross has a monkey. 232 00:10:32,367 --> 00:10:34,573 Oh, man, I've seen this episode. 233 00:10:34,706 --> 00:10:36,551 Chandler hooks up with Monica. 234 00:10:38,255 --> 00:10:40,863 This sucks ! I want to watch real TV. 235 00:10:40,986 --> 00:10:42,581 I want real food. 236 00:10:42,858 --> 00:10:45,571 Sorry everyone. When my brother gets hungry, 237 00:10:45,696 --> 00:10:49,300 he gets kind of like an angry, dizzy hulk thing going on. 238 00:10:49,567 --> 00:10:50,951 That's the angry part. 239 00:10:53,527 --> 00:10:54,982 And that's the dizzy part. 240 00:10:56,076 --> 00:10:58,200 Watching those weirdoes help Randy made me feel 241 00:10:58,326 --> 00:11:00,652 a little ashamed for how I'd been judging them. 242 00:11:01,186 --> 00:11:04,232 They were good people, even if they were a little nutty. 243 00:11:05,607 --> 00:11:07,021 Whoa, don't lick that. 244 00:11:08,086 --> 00:11:09,441 But it smells like butter and syrup. 245 00:11:09,578 --> 00:11:11,340 It's potent stuff, man, 246 00:11:11,476 --> 00:11:14,112 made from herbs and roots from the woods. 247 00:11:14,236 --> 00:11:16,203 Just put it on once a day, okay ? 248 00:11:30,927 --> 00:11:33,043 Crazy day, huh ? Want some wine ? 249 00:11:33,156 --> 00:11:34,852 We made it out of grapes from our garden. 250 00:11:34,978 --> 00:11:36,933 You guys make your own wine ? 251 00:11:37,067 --> 00:11:38,690 I tried to make tequila once, but 252 00:11:38,828 --> 00:11:40,912 I didn't know what was in it besides worms. 253 00:11:41,046 --> 00:11:43,403 Pretty gross... still got me drunk, though. 254 00:11:46,595 --> 00:11:48,050 That is not bad. 255 00:11:49,147 --> 00:11:50,981 I got to say, I don't get it, Woody. 256 00:11:51,117 --> 00:11:52,453 You're all so smart. 257 00:11:52,587 --> 00:11:54,163 Why do you live in such a dumb way ? 258 00:11:54,288 --> 00:11:55,672 Because it's good for the environment. 259 00:11:55,807 --> 00:11:57,871 If we want our children and our children's children 260 00:11:58,005 --> 00:11:58,863 to keep living on Earth, 261 00:11:58,995 --> 00:12:00,733 we got to keep reducing greenhouse gases 262 00:12:00,858 --> 00:12:02,631 and reverse global warming. 263 00:12:03,435 --> 00:12:05,201 You know what global warming is, right ? 264 00:12:06,787 --> 00:12:09,700 Chemistry, geography, algebra, 265 00:12:09,836 --> 00:12:12,800 vocabulary... Nope. 266 00:12:12,986 --> 00:12:14,643 All right, come with me ; I want to show you a presentation 267 00:12:14,777 --> 00:12:15,953 I give at the high school. 268 00:12:16,088 --> 00:12:19,491 I hated high school, and I tend to hate presentations, 269 00:12:19,625 --> 00:12:22,252 but to my surprise, Woody's little show didn't suck. 270 00:12:22,377 --> 00:12:24,142 As a result of fossil fuel use, 271 00:12:24,277 --> 00:12:25,813 and if the glaciers keep melting at this rate, 272 00:12:25,938 --> 00:12:29,312 in 20 years, Camden County will look like this ! 273 00:12:30,216 --> 00:12:32,683 And because of warming, deadly diseases like West Nile 274 00:12:32,816 --> 00:12:34,992 are spreading like wildfire and will kill you. 275 00:12:35,127 --> 00:12:36,761 Now, do you want to die a virgin ? 276 00:12:37,727 --> 00:12:39,452 Sorry, that's in there for the high school kids. 277 00:12:39,575 --> 00:12:40,811 Really shakes them up. 278 00:12:41,197 --> 00:12:43,321 And this is what CO-2 levels will look like in 10 years. 279 00:12:43,455 --> 00:12:44,360 You know what we do then ? 280 00:12:44,496 --> 00:12:46,150 Nothing ! 'Cause it'll be too late. 281 00:12:46,276 --> 00:12:48,102 We'll all just sit around and watch each other fry 282 00:12:48,238 --> 00:12:49,793 like we're bugs in a zapper. 283 00:12:49,925 --> 00:12:51,611 Poof ! Poof ! Poof ! Poof ! 284 00:12:51,736 --> 00:12:53,851 By the end, I was freaking out. 285 00:12:53,977 --> 00:12:55,720 And I could tell by the look on Randy's face 286 00:12:55,858 --> 00:12:57,353 he was freaking out, too. 287 00:13:01,536 --> 00:13:04,130 Hey, this is messed up, man. Does anyone else know about this ? 288 00:13:04,265 --> 00:13:05,441 'Cause we should tell the President. 289 00:13:05,575 --> 00:13:08,292 People know ; they just don't want to change. 290 00:13:08,428 --> 00:13:09,892 Well, not me, Woody. 291 00:13:10,097 --> 00:13:11,700 You've really opened my eyes. 292 00:13:11,835 --> 00:13:14,253 Me and my brother are never going to look at the world the same again. 293 00:13:14,386 --> 00:13:15,421 Right, buddy ? 294 00:13:20,027 --> 00:13:21,253 When we finished our week with Woody, 295 00:13:21,386 --> 00:13:24,640 I was anxious to get back to Camden and start saving the planet. 296 00:13:28,305 --> 00:13:29,703 Bye, Randy. 297 00:13:29,825 --> 00:13:31,271 Nice bunking with you. 298 00:13:31,397 --> 00:13:33,673 Come back soon, and I'll teach you yoga. 299 00:13:37,427 --> 00:13:38,601 See y'all later. 300 00:13:42,048 --> 00:13:43,503 This is exciting, huh ? 301 00:13:43,637 --> 00:13:45,182 I'm a changed man, Randy. 302 00:13:45,317 --> 00:13:46,982 We're going to start living life different. 303 00:13:47,116 --> 00:13:48,712 I already have "Been wasteful" on my list, 304 00:13:48,848 --> 00:13:50,361 so it works out perfect. 305 00:13:57,955 --> 00:13:58,822 I know, buddy. 306 00:13:58,955 --> 00:14:00,651 I feel like I'm dreaming, too. 307 00:14:01,136 --> 00:14:02,463 You know what, Woody ? 308 00:14:04,176 --> 00:14:05,811 In honor of what I've learned, 309 00:14:05,948 --> 00:14:07,940 I'm going to save some of that CO-2 stuff 310 00:14:08,067 --> 00:14:09,531 and coast down the mountain. 311 00:14:35,305 --> 00:14:37,841 I'll coast after I get over this hump. 312 00:14:45,048 --> 00:14:46,212 Good, you're here. 313 00:14:46,347 --> 00:14:49,350 I went through the checklist Woody gave me and got some things. 314 00:14:49,495 --> 00:14:51,981 Florescent bulbs that use less electricity. 315 00:14:53,108 --> 00:14:55,281 Reusable hemp bags for shopping. 316 00:14:55,538 --> 00:14:56,372 And look. 317 00:14:57,387 --> 00:14:59,590 Shampoo that's not tested on animals. 318 00:14:59,726 --> 00:15:03,100 I feel bad for those lab animals running around with dirty hair, but 319 00:15:03,228 --> 00:15:04,482 if it's better for the environment, 320 00:15:04,616 --> 00:15:06,533 that's the sacrifice they have to make. 321 00:15:11,568 --> 00:15:14,783 Look, Randy, I notice you've been quiet recently, and... 322 00:15:14,915 --> 00:15:16,112 well, I understand how freaky 323 00:15:16,245 --> 00:15:18,150 this whole global warming thing can be. 324 00:15:18,276 --> 00:15:19,053 But don't you worry, 325 00:15:19,187 --> 00:15:20,973 we're going to fix it, okay, buddy ? 326 00:15:40,116 --> 00:15:42,291 I was feeling so good about saving the planet, 327 00:15:42,417 --> 00:15:45,492 I even gave up the biggest status symbol an American has. 328 00:15:46,115 --> 00:15:46,843 Hey ! 329 00:15:46,976 --> 00:15:48,351 Lance Armstrong ! 330 00:15:48,495 --> 00:15:51,702 Don't you know riding bikes gives you nut cancer ? 331 00:15:54,147 --> 00:15:55,601 That's when I realized, 332 00:15:55,727 --> 00:15:58,153 it didn't matter how ecological I was living if... 333 00:15:58,286 --> 00:16:00,562 Joy was going to pollute and cancel me out. 334 00:16:08,535 --> 00:16:10,940 Why is your fridge open ? You're wasting electricity. 335 00:16:11,077 --> 00:16:12,743 You're the one that took the damn AC. 336 00:16:12,867 --> 00:16:14,702 Look, Joy, there's a thing called global warming, 337 00:16:14,827 --> 00:16:15,873 and we got to stop it. 338 00:16:15,996 --> 00:16:16,963 What do you think we're doing 339 00:16:17,098 --> 00:16:18,943 in front of the cold 'frigerator, dummy. 340 00:16:19,538 --> 00:16:20,772 Move that thing. 341 00:16:20,906 --> 00:16:22,731 Blowing turtle sweat all over me. 342 00:16:24,357 --> 00:16:27,192 And did you know you had a can of used oil in the front yard ? 343 00:16:27,706 --> 00:16:29,681 Darnell keeps forgetting to dump it in the creek. 344 00:16:29,818 --> 00:16:31,622 You can't pour oil in the creek. 345 00:16:31,756 --> 00:16:33,762 If you do, the bar graph goes up, 346 00:16:33,895 --> 00:16:35,153 the pie chart gets bigger. 347 00:16:35,285 --> 00:16:37,132 The next thing you know, you got a big picture 348 00:16:37,257 --> 00:16:39,431 of the Earth with a sweaty forehead and a sad face. 349 00:16:39,556 --> 00:16:41,280 The Earth doesn't have a face, stupid. 350 00:16:41,416 --> 00:16:42,790 You're thinking of the Moon. 351 00:16:43,627 --> 00:16:45,050 Fine, I'll take care of the oil. 352 00:16:45,187 --> 00:16:46,970 I can't believe you guys aren't more worried. 353 00:16:47,106 --> 00:16:48,712 Even Randy's freaked out. 354 00:16:49,077 --> 00:16:51,682 Darnell, you care about global warming, don't you ? 355 00:16:51,867 --> 00:16:52,722 I do care. 356 00:16:52,856 --> 00:16:55,601 I'm just not sure global warming is caused by man. 357 00:16:55,736 --> 00:16:57,392 I think it's a bit anthropocentric 358 00:16:57,525 --> 00:16:59,601 to think humans could have that much effect. 359 00:16:59,728 --> 00:17:02,313 Yeah. And why does it always got to be the people's fault ? 360 00:17:02,448 --> 00:17:04,071 What about what nature's doing to us ? 361 00:17:04,208 --> 00:17:06,663 I saw a show the other day where these two caribou 362 00:17:06,787 --> 00:17:08,233 attacked an innocent hunter. 363 00:17:08,357 --> 00:17:10,240 I mean, he shot them, but still, 364 00:17:10,376 --> 00:17:12,011 those animals are vicious. 365 00:17:17,227 --> 00:17:19,012 Are you looking at my boobs, dummy ?! 366 00:17:23,145 --> 00:17:24,771 I was frustrated 'cause I realized 367 00:17:24,906 --> 00:17:26,280 I was going to have to double my efforts 368 00:17:26,408 --> 00:17:28,502 to make up for Joy canceling me out. 369 00:17:28,997 --> 00:17:29,942 Then it hit me. 370 00:17:30,157 --> 00:17:32,473 I wasn't just being cancelled out by Joy. 371 00:17:32,608 --> 00:17:35,430 * They paved paradise, put up a parking lot * 372 00:17:35,568 --> 00:17:37,640 I was being cancelled out by everyone. 373 00:17:38,025 --> 00:17:42,543 * With a pink hotel, a boutique And a swinging hot spot * 374 00:17:42,677 --> 00:17:45,841 So I spent a couple days trying to get people to open their eyes. 375 00:17:46,875 --> 00:17:48,583 But most just didn't want to listen. 376 00:17:48,715 --> 00:17:49,653 Hey ! 377 00:17:49,798 --> 00:17:52,870 * They paved paradise, put up a parking lot * 378 00:17:53,007 --> 00:17:54,591 And the people who did listen 379 00:17:54,726 --> 00:17:55,861 didn't seem to care. 380 00:17:55,995 --> 00:17:57,881 Look, pal, they're putting a cell phone tower in here. 381 00:17:58,015 --> 00:18:00,453 - Trees have got to go, I'm sorry. - A cell phone tower ? 382 00:18:00,587 --> 00:18:02,142 But trees make air, and look, 383 00:18:02,268 --> 00:18:03,643 there's a bird living in one of them. 384 00:18:03,768 --> 00:18:05,103 But trees make air, and look, 385 00:18:05,226 --> 00:18:06,921 there's a bird living in one of them. 386 00:18:09,207 --> 00:18:11,841 So I decided if people weren't going to change on their own, 387 00:18:11,965 --> 00:18:13,871 I was going to have to make them change. 388 00:18:14,317 --> 00:18:15,903 I figured people couldn't waste gas 389 00:18:16,037 --> 00:18:18,423 if I broke off their air valves and their tires went flat. 390 00:18:18,546 --> 00:18:20,260 * Ooh bah bah bah bah * 391 00:18:20,395 --> 00:18:23,362 * Ooh bah bah bah bah * 392 00:18:23,495 --> 00:18:24,390 * Hey, farmer, farmer * 393 00:18:24,527 --> 00:18:27,711 And they couldn't waste electricity when they didn't have that, either. 394 00:18:28,606 --> 00:18:30,093 * Give me spots on my apples * 395 00:18:30,216 --> 00:18:30,853 Here we go ! 396 00:18:30,976 --> 00:18:35,970 * Please! Don't it always seem to go * 397 00:18:36,105 --> 00:18:36,830 Damn. 398 00:18:36,966 --> 00:18:38,491 * That you don't know what you've got... * 399 00:18:38,626 --> 00:18:41,521 Looking back, I can see I was losing my mind a little. 400 00:18:41,645 --> 00:18:43,432 * Put up a parking lot * 401 00:18:43,565 --> 00:18:45,781 But I was on a mission to save the world, and 402 00:18:45,915 --> 00:18:47,433 nothing was going to stop me. 403 00:18:48,397 --> 00:18:51,631 * They paved paradise, put up a parking lot * 404 00:18:51,766 --> 00:18:54,033 * Ooh bah bah bah bah * 405 00:18:54,156 --> 00:18:55,940 * They paved paradise, put up a parking lot * 406 00:18:56,075 --> 00:18:59,001 It felt good to hit back against all those wasteful people 407 00:18:59,128 --> 00:19:02,752 * They paved paradise, put up a parking lot * 408 00:19:02,877 --> 00:19:04,192 * Ha ha ha * 409 00:19:31,326 --> 00:19:33,041 I made a difference today. 410 00:19:34,865 --> 00:19:36,510 Earl Hickey made a difference. 411 00:19:36,645 --> 00:19:39,001 And in a new report, coal pollution 412 00:19:39,126 --> 00:19:43,062 from China is believed to contribute to global warming more 413 00:19:43,195 --> 00:19:47,093 than all the cars in major U.S. cities combined. 414 00:19:47,427 --> 00:19:49,233 And that pushed me over the edge. 415 00:19:49,396 --> 00:19:52,160 I wasn't being cancelled out by all the people in Camden. 416 00:19:52,298 --> 00:19:54,472 I was being canceled out by the whole world. 417 00:19:54,716 --> 00:19:57,573 It doesn't matter what I do ! Millions of people are undoing it. 418 00:19:57,697 --> 00:19:59,031 What, am I supposed to go to China 419 00:19:59,165 --> 00:20:00,841 and convince everybody to ride bicycles ? 420 00:20:00,967 --> 00:20:02,133 They'll never go for that. 421 00:20:02,267 --> 00:20:05,043 We're all screwed, man ! Scre-ewed ! 422 00:20:06,517 --> 00:20:08,133 And there's nothing we're going to be able to do about it, buddy. 423 00:20:08,256 --> 00:20:11,222 We're screwed, man, screwed. Screwed ! 424 00:20:13,348 --> 00:20:15,421 Dude, your brother is totally bugging out. 425 00:20:21,918 --> 00:20:23,001 Woody ! 426 00:20:23,828 --> 00:20:25,230 There's millions of them ! 427 00:20:25,358 --> 00:20:28,923 I can't stop everyone. We're all going to die ! 428 00:20:29,046 --> 00:20:30,242 Poof ! Poof ! 429 00:20:30,467 --> 00:20:31,451 Poof ! Poof ! Poof ! 430 00:20:31,585 --> 00:20:33,872 John, grab his legs. We got a meltdown. 431 00:20:34,007 --> 00:20:36,242 Poof ! Poof ! Poof ! Poof... 432 00:20:36,377 --> 00:20:37,880 * Hallelujah * 433 00:20:38,015 --> 00:20:41,783 * Michael row the boat ashore * 434 00:20:41,905 --> 00:20:45,581 * Hallelujah * 435 00:20:45,715 --> 00:20:48,231 I think he's feeling better, guys. Thanks a lot. 436 00:20:49,857 --> 00:20:51,200 I don't know what to do, Woody. 437 00:20:51,326 --> 00:20:52,910 I can't un-know what I know, 438 00:20:53,036 --> 00:20:55,833 and I can't keep people from doing what they shouldn't do. 439 00:20:55,957 --> 00:20:58,803 There's a lot in life, you... you can't control. 440 00:20:58,925 --> 00:21:01,580 I mean, like, every time it rains, our houses dissolve. 441 00:21:01,716 --> 00:21:05,050 All you can do is keep feeding the cows and rebuilding. 442 00:21:05,175 --> 00:21:06,910 I want to move up here with you guys. 443 00:21:07,037 --> 00:21:08,572 At least you guys get it. 444 00:21:08,746 --> 00:21:09,843 Look, Earl. 445 00:21:10,336 --> 00:21:12,361 I have the feeling your list has really opened your eyes 446 00:21:12,485 --> 00:21:14,542 to a lot of things. You're starting to see all the 447 00:21:14,677 --> 00:21:16,923 bad things in the world that need fixing. 448 00:21:17,048 --> 00:21:19,031 But you're trying to take on too much, man. 449 00:21:19,166 --> 00:21:21,101 You can't fix everything out there. 450 00:21:21,635 --> 00:21:23,301 Your list is your destiny. 451 00:21:23,508 --> 00:21:25,363 That's how you're going to change the world. 452 00:21:27,418 --> 00:21:30,033 But what about the fossilized fuels in China ? 453 00:21:30,166 --> 00:21:31,782 Why are you thinking about China ? 454 00:21:32,087 --> 00:21:33,921 Well, you know, "think global, act local". 455 00:21:34,047 --> 00:21:35,292 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 456 00:21:35,427 --> 00:21:36,783 That's your problem right there ; 457 00:21:36,906 --> 00:21:39,063 you're reading too many bumper stickers, man. 458 00:21:39,187 --> 00:21:42,143 Don't try to think global you'll drive yourself crazy. 459 00:21:42,265 --> 00:21:43,363 Think local. 460 00:21:43,498 --> 00:21:46,303 Just take five minutes a day to do something you wouldn't normally do. 461 00:21:46,425 --> 00:21:49,401 If everybody did that, global warming wouldn't be a problem. 462 00:21:49,596 --> 00:21:50,350 You dig ? 463 00:21:51,947 --> 00:21:53,662 Oh, and, uh, you know what they said 464 00:21:53,795 --> 00:21:54,953 about eating an apple a day ? 465 00:21:55,087 --> 00:21:57,680 Don't, 'cause they're loaded with pesticides. 466 00:21:58,255 --> 00:22:00,700 And whoever said laughter was the best medicine 467 00:22:01,228 --> 00:22:02,780 never had gonorrhea. 468 00:22:05,925 --> 00:22:07,053 Woody was right. 469 00:22:07,185 --> 00:22:08,933 I still had a bunch of messes on my list 470 00:22:09,058 --> 00:22:11,881 that needed cleaning up before I tried cleaning up the world. 471 00:22:12,255 --> 00:22:14,620 And spending five minutes a day helping the Earth, 472 00:22:14,756 --> 00:22:16,231 well, made me feel better. 473 00:22:16,647 --> 00:22:19,163 Even if it did get my fingers a little sticky. 474 00:22:30,048 --> 00:22:31,572 Plus, once I calmed down, 475 00:22:31,698 --> 00:22:33,552 I think Randy started feeling better, too. 476 00:22:33,675 --> 00:22:34,511 Whew. 477 00:22:39,748 --> 00:22:40,692 Hey, Earl. 478 00:22:41,758 --> 00:22:42,853 Yeah, Randy. 479 00:22:43,146 --> 00:22:44,631 Who do you think would win in a fight ? 480 00:22:44,767 --> 00:22:46,740 Muppets or Sesame Street ? 481 00:22:48,418 --> 00:22:49,922 I don't really think they'd fight. 482 00:22:50,047 --> 00:22:52,530 - They're both pretty peaceful. - Well, what if they had to ? 483 00:22:52,668 --> 00:22:54,172 Like in that head-chopping-off movie 484 00:22:54,306 --> 00:22:55,720 where there could be only one ? 485 00:22:55,857 --> 00:22:56,642 Muppets. 486 00:22:59,917 --> 00:23:02,552 Okay, what about Muppets or Fraggles ? 487 00:23:03,985 --> 00:23:04,932 Muppets. 488 00:23:05,058 --> 00:23:07,193 Okay, what about Muppets or He-Man ? 489 00:23:07,315 --> 00:23:09,272 Just He-Man or He-Man and his friends ? 490 00:23:09,397 --> 00:23:10,652 Just He-Man. 491 00:23:11,118 --> 00:23:12,071 Muppets. 492 00:23:12,207 --> 00:23:13,643 That's who I had. 493 00:23:14,596 --> 00:23:15,551 Good night, Earl. 494 00:23:15,686 --> 00:23:16,761 Good night, Randy. 495 00:23:17,405 --> 00:23:18,340 Hey, Darnell ? 496 00:23:19,308 --> 00:23:20,320 Yeah, Joy ? 497 00:23:20,858 --> 00:23:22,400 Who do you think would win in a fight ? 498 00:23:22,535 --> 00:23:23,860 Your aunt or my mama ? 499 00:23:24,167 --> 00:23:27,113 Well, your mom's a scrapper, but my aunt's got reach. 500 00:23:27,248 --> 00:23:28,592 I think I'd go with my aunt. 501 00:23:28,928 --> 00:23:30,872 What about your aunt versus my dad ? 502 00:23:31,168 --> 00:23:32,233 Does he have weapon ? 503 00:23:32,367 --> 00:23:33,680 Like a baseball bat or something ? 504 00:23:33,818 --> 00:23:35,960 Just chairs, but they'd both have them. 505 00:23:37,107 --> 00:23:38,382 I'm still going to have to go with my aunt. 506 00:23:38,517 --> 00:23:39,922 Even if my cousins got involved ? 507 00:23:40,048 --> 00:23:42,412 Yeah. I assumed they would jump in as soon as my aunt 508 00:23:42,548 --> 00:23:44,513 attacked your father or mother, or whatnot. 509 00:23:44,707 --> 00:23:46,521 Your aunt scares me, Darnell. 510 00:23:46,706 --> 00:23:47,731 Me, too. 511 00:23:47,978 --> 00:23:49,982 Maybe we shouldn't do Thanksgiving this year. 512 00:23:50,118 --> 00:23:51,832 I was thinking the same thing. 513 00:23:52,505 --> 00:23:53,702 - Good night, sweetie. - Good night, baby. 514 00:23:53,716 --> 00:23:54,700 Transcript : Raceman Synchro : Dingo 515 00:23:54,715 --> 00:23:55,991 www.forom.com http://experts.heberg-forum.net