1 00:00:03,121 --> 00:00:06,417 You know how those Amish people all chip in when it's time to build a barn ? 2 00:00:06,543 --> 00:00:09,642 Well, that's what we do at the motel with waxing Wilma's mustache. 3 00:00:09,768 --> 00:00:11,029 Thanks for doing this, guys. 4 00:00:11,155 --> 00:00:13,307 My husband says it's like French-kissing his brother Fred. 5 00:00:13,433 --> 00:00:14,300 No problem, Wilma. 6 00:00:14,426 --> 00:00:16,979 Maybe, someday, I'll need unwanted hair ripped off my body, 7 00:00:17,105 --> 00:00:18,980 and you'll be the one to hold me down. 8 00:00:26,543 --> 00:00:27,869 Disturbing as it was, 9 00:00:27,995 --> 00:00:29,700 staring at Wilma's ripped-off mustache 10 00:00:29,825 --> 00:00:32,122 helped me decide what to do next on my list. 11 00:00:32,242 --> 00:00:35,316 Number 91 : Made fun of Maggie Lester. 12 00:00:35,441 --> 00:00:38,013 Class, I would like you to meet our new student, Maggie Lester. 13 00:00:38,140 --> 00:00:40,476 She's from Arizona, and her parents are divorced. 14 00:00:40,605 --> 00:00:41,921 Let's make her feel welcome. 15 00:00:43,778 --> 00:00:45,371 Unfortunately for Maggie, 16 00:00:45,495 --> 00:00:48,033 Tom Selleck was the biggest star on TV and 17 00:00:48,157 --> 00:00:50,293 I was the biggest jerk in my class. 18 00:00:50,427 --> 00:00:52,543 Wow ! Look at the mustache on this girl. 19 00:00:52,665 --> 00:00:55,331 Hey, look, everybody. It's Maggie, P.I. 20 00:00:56,927 --> 00:00:59,961 She remained Maggie, P.I., until she left Williamsburg Junior High 21 00:01:00,088 --> 00:01:02,310 a couple of months later to be home-schooled. 22 00:01:02,445 --> 00:01:04,051 I never saw her again. 23 00:01:04,227 --> 00:01:06,583 There's a lot of Lesters here, but I don't see any Maggies. 24 00:01:07,025 --> 00:01:07,970 There's a Maggie. 25 00:01:08,605 --> 00:01:10,263 That's a Maggie Larsen, Randy. 26 00:01:10,478 --> 00:01:12,243 Oh. Both names have to be on the same line. 27 00:01:12,375 --> 00:01:14,062 I feel bad for this Maggie Lester. 28 00:01:14,198 --> 00:01:15,561 Children can be very cruel. 29 00:01:15,685 --> 00:01:18,342 In my village, they used to laugh and call me Chupa Chups. 30 00:01:18,556 --> 00:01:19,780 That sounds cute. 31 00:01:20,066 --> 00:01:21,323 It was not cute. 32 00:01:21,456 --> 00:01:22,342 It means Lollipop. 33 00:01:22,475 --> 00:01:23,970 I had a big head and a little body. 34 00:01:24,105 --> 00:01:25,211 I was always tipping over. 35 00:01:25,335 --> 00:01:26,012 Got it. 36 00:01:26,135 --> 00:01:29,772 Here's a Maggie Lester living somewhere called Shady Grove. 37 00:01:30,015 --> 00:01:32,562 While I was tracking down my old classmate Maggie, 38 00:01:32,686 --> 00:01:35,891 Joy was dealing with a situation from her more recent past. 39 00:01:36,028 --> 00:01:38,103 Baby, I love that spray-on stocking stuff. 40 00:01:38,225 --> 00:01:41,400 It makes your legs look hot, and it makes me a little high. 41 00:01:41,638 --> 00:01:44,573 And that's exactly how I want the public defender to feel when I meet him today. 42 00:01:44,697 --> 00:01:46,450 I want him to think if he gets me off, 43 00:01:46,578 --> 00:01:47,851 I'll return the favor. 44 00:01:49,396 --> 00:01:50,830 Damn it, I got Latina ! 45 00:01:50,958 --> 00:01:53,702 Recently, Joy had run into some trouble with the law. 46 00:01:53,826 --> 00:01:56,773 She was arrested for grand theft auto and kidnapping. 47 00:01:56,896 --> 00:01:59,342 If convicted, it would be her third strike. 48 00:01:59,466 --> 00:02:01,873 All right, now tell me if you can see my thong when I bend over. 49 00:02:03,648 --> 00:02:04,730 What thong ? 50 00:02:05,525 --> 00:02:07,262 Perfect. Let's go. 51 00:02:08,085 --> 00:02:08,770 And here. 52 00:02:08,907 --> 00:02:11,310 Put these socks down your pants just in case he's gay. 53 00:02:14,197 --> 00:02:16,340 Randy and I found Maggie's house, 54 00:02:16,476 --> 00:02:19,783 and it turned out Shady Grove wasn't too far from Camden County. 55 00:02:20,055 --> 00:02:21,512 This neighborhood is nice. 56 00:02:23,498 --> 00:02:25,170 I hope Maggie remembers me. 57 00:02:29,655 --> 00:02:31,832 I'm never going to find anyone to love me. 58 00:02:32,587 --> 00:02:33,352 What ? 59 00:02:33,485 --> 00:02:34,152 Oh, nothing. 60 00:02:34,287 --> 00:02:35,951 I was just thinking of something else. 61 00:02:38,196 --> 00:02:39,713 Maybe this is the wrong place. 62 00:02:39,847 --> 00:02:40,792 Coming ! 63 00:02:45,865 --> 00:02:47,481 No. This is the right place. 64 00:02:51,126 --> 00:02:52,570 Remember me ? Earl Hickey. 65 00:02:52,707 --> 00:02:53,672 And my brother Randy ? 66 00:02:53,797 --> 00:02:55,892 Earl Hickey from Junior High ? 67 00:02:57,297 --> 00:02:59,460 Wow ! I didn't recognize you. 68 00:02:59,588 --> 00:03:01,550 You look different with that mustache. 69 00:03:01,966 --> 00:03:03,602 And you... 70 00:03:04,175 --> 00:03:05,313 Look at you. 71 00:03:06,216 --> 00:03:10,081 Maggie invited us in for cookies, and I explained all about my list. 72 00:03:10,215 --> 00:03:12,572 So how can I make it up to you ? 73 00:03:13,336 --> 00:03:14,840 We could wax your face. 74 00:03:16,706 --> 00:03:17,583 Or your car... 75 00:03:17,708 --> 00:03:18,901 we'll wax... whichever. 76 00:03:19,037 --> 00:03:21,233 'Cause it's not like your beard isn't, uh... 77 00:03:21,805 --> 00:03:24,010 beautiful... and feminine. 78 00:03:24,145 --> 00:03:26,183 It's okay, Earl. I used to wax. 79 00:03:26,317 --> 00:03:27,413 And shave, and pluck. 80 00:03:27,535 --> 00:03:29,550 And I even wore a ski mask for a while, but it 81 00:03:29,707 --> 00:03:31,801 made it impossible to go to the bank. 82 00:03:31,938 --> 00:03:34,002 Then I realized this is just who I am. 83 00:03:34,208 --> 00:03:36,213 It's my life. It's my job. 84 00:03:36,488 --> 00:03:37,403 Your job ? 85 00:03:41,308 --> 00:03:43,753 Turned out Maggie was in the carnival business. 86 00:03:43,885 --> 00:03:45,973 And, as we got to know more about her, 87 00:03:46,108 --> 00:03:47,873 we found that she was very sweet, 88 00:03:47,998 --> 00:03:50,360 a great hostess, and had a lot of talents. 89 00:03:50,488 --> 00:03:51,853 You got a real pretty house. 90 00:03:52,765 --> 00:03:53,951 No plastic. 91 00:03:54,477 --> 00:03:55,861 The wood is actually made of wood. 92 00:03:55,995 --> 00:03:57,563 That was originally the kitchen door, 93 00:03:57,696 --> 00:04:00,560 but I removed it and turned it into a table when I did my remodel. 94 00:04:00,695 --> 00:04:02,520 A door for a table. Wow. 95 00:04:03,967 --> 00:04:06,103 You can touch it if you want to, Randy. 96 00:04:10,105 --> 00:04:11,710 It's so soft. 97 00:04:13,538 --> 00:04:14,542 I love fixing up houses. 98 00:04:14,667 --> 00:04:16,643 Not to mention it really increases their value. 99 00:04:16,778 --> 00:04:17,690 Sounds smart. 100 00:04:17,816 --> 00:04:20,072 I mean, anything you can do to incr... Randy. 101 00:04:20,205 --> 00:04:21,230 But I'm not done yet. 102 00:04:21,367 --> 00:04:22,430 Yes, you are. 103 00:04:24,267 --> 00:04:26,802 Well, I'm glad to know that you're doing so good, Maggie. 104 00:04:26,937 --> 00:04:28,731 But you still got to let me make this up to you. 105 00:04:28,867 --> 00:04:30,531 Oh, we were kids. 106 00:04:30,658 --> 00:04:32,242 You know what the worst part was ? 107 00:04:32,366 --> 00:04:33,533 You never got to know me as a person. 108 00:04:33,665 --> 00:04:35,212 And today you did that. 109 00:04:35,347 --> 00:04:37,560 So you can cross me off your list, Earl. 110 00:04:37,806 --> 00:04:38,932 Thanks, Maggie. 111 00:04:40,385 --> 00:04:41,393 Maggie was right. 112 00:04:41,525 --> 00:04:43,640 Not getting to know her was my mistake. 113 00:04:43,776 --> 00:04:45,511 A mistake I was glad to fix. 114 00:04:48,858 --> 00:04:50,291 Well, she sure was nice. 115 00:04:50,426 --> 00:04:53,340 I bet we would have been friends when we were kids if I wasn't so... 116 00:04:53,868 --> 00:04:55,222 Check it out. 117 00:04:56,186 --> 00:04:58,060 He's off to see the wizard. 118 00:04:58,205 --> 00:04:59,731 Look at that tall guy, Earl. 119 00:04:59,866 --> 00:05:03,180 He looks just like your Stretch Armstrong doll right before I pulled him in half. 120 00:05:04,275 --> 00:05:05,810 Oh, man ! Look at her. 121 00:05:06,416 --> 00:05:08,370 Oh, my God. You know what this place must be ? 122 00:05:08,567 --> 00:05:09,373 A cartoon ? 123 00:05:09,507 --> 00:05:12,012 No. I think it's where all the carnival people live when they aren't working. 124 00:05:12,147 --> 00:05:13,340 It's a freak town. 125 00:05:15,685 --> 00:05:17,803 Except for that kid. He's normal. 126 00:05:19,735 --> 00:05:21,111 Look at his hands, Earl ! 127 00:05:21,726 --> 00:05:22,622 They're like a lobster's. 128 00:05:22,755 --> 00:05:25,740 But without the rubber bands to stop him from biting us with his hands. 129 00:05:25,876 --> 00:05:26,830 This place is freaky, Randy. 130 00:05:26,955 --> 00:05:28,202 Let's get out of here. 131 00:05:30,248 --> 00:05:31,430 Wait a second. 132 00:05:31,688 --> 00:05:33,433 I'm doing it again, Randy. 133 00:05:33,565 --> 00:05:36,030 I'm making fun of people 'cause they look a little different, 134 00:05:36,167 --> 00:05:37,673 just like I did with Maggie. 135 00:05:37,807 --> 00:05:39,921 Look, karma brought us here for a reason. 136 00:05:40,055 --> 00:05:42,583 I mean, what good is it to cross Maggie off the list 137 00:05:42,707 --> 00:05:45,101 if I'm going to keep doing the same thing to other people ? 138 00:05:45,435 --> 00:05:46,540 You know what, Randy ? 139 00:05:46,678 --> 00:05:48,782 I'm going to get to know every person in this neighborhood 140 00:05:48,918 --> 00:05:50,571 for who they are on the inside. 141 00:05:53,417 --> 00:05:56,082 If you make friends with anybody, make friends with the tall guy. 142 00:05:56,216 --> 00:05:58,193 I know where there's a Frisbee stuck in a tree. 143 00:06:00,035 --> 00:06:03,140 When I went back and told Maggie I wanted to get to know her neighbors, 144 00:06:03,272 --> 00:06:06,456 she thought it was a great idea and invited everybody over for a barbecue. 145 00:06:09,371 --> 00:06:11,103 One by one, we got to know them, 146 00:06:11,220 --> 00:06:12,826 and we learned all kinds of things, 147 00:06:12,958 --> 00:06:15,482 like the fact that William was a hell of a cook. 148 00:06:15,665 --> 00:06:17,001 This burger is delicious. 149 00:06:17,127 --> 00:06:18,940 Thank you. It's Black Angus. 150 00:06:19,407 --> 00:06:22,202 I don't think I can eat it now that I know the cow's name. 151 00:06:25,216 --> 00:06:27,142 Kevin might have had a horn on his head, but 152 00:06:27,275 --> 00:06:28,892 he didn't have a chip on his shoulder. 153 00:06:29,025 --> 00:06:30,290 That's pretty cool. 154 00:06:30,416 --> 00:06:32,142 Can you take your head on a plane ? 155 00:06:32,277 --> 00:06:33,780 Not since 9/11. 156 00:06:33,917 --> 00:06:35,692 We're all making sacrifices. 157 00:06:37,287 --> 00:06:39,231 Kevin also worked magic on cars. 158 00:06:39,358 --> 00:06:41,962 He had restored more than 20 all on his own. 159 00:06:42,597 --> 00:06:45,041 And Paul knew everything about the stock market. 160 00:06:45,177 --> 00:06:47,310 He didn't look down on us for not understanding, 161 00:06:47,445 --> 00:06:49,672 he only looked down on us 'cause he was so tall. 162 00:06:49,805 --> 00:06:50,901 I'm confused. 163 00:06:51,025 --> 00:06:53,300 You own $20,000 worth of Krispy Kremes, 164 00:06:53,426 --> 00:06:54,953 but you still have to pay for doughnuts ? 165 00:06:55,085 --> 00:06:56,913 I don't get doughnuts. I get dividends. 166 00:06:57,045 --> 00:06:58,891 Mmm ! Dividends. 167 00:06:59,076 --> 00:07:01,360 Are they, like those little powdered munchkins ? 168 00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:02,570 No offense, William. 169 00:07:02,707 --> 00:07:03,590 No worries. 170 00:07:06,545 --> 00:07:08,591 Jean gave the most amazing neck rubs. 171 00:07:08,715 --> 00:07:09,743 Who's next ? 172 00:07:10,106 --> 00:07:10,901 Kevin ? 173 00:07:11,038 --> 00:07:12,810 You can go. I don't have a neck. 174 00:07:15,275 --> 00:07:16,653 Well, son of a bitch. 175 00:07:16,785 --> 00:07:18,280 I didn't even notice that. 176 00:07:18,418 --> 00:07:20,361 Guess I was too busy looking at the horn. 177 00:07:20,485 --> 00:07:22,240 Yeah, the horn kind of steals the show. 178 00:07:23,725 --> 00:07:25,442 And Tommy taught me how to ride a skateboard 179 00:07:25,576 --> 00:07:27,551 without falling off and scraping my knees. 180 00:07:30,078 --> 00:07:32,280 As we got to meet Maggie's neighbors, 181 00:07:32,528 --> 00:07:34,531 Joy got to finally meet her lawyer. 182 00:07:38,028 --> 00:07:40,170 Wow ! Look at you ! 183 00:07:40,308 --> 00:07:42,691 Glad you're the one that's going to be handling my briefs. 184 00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:44,980 Don't get insecure, baby. It's all an act. 185 00:07:45,118 --> 00:07:47,092 Oh, no, no. I'm not your attorney. 186 00:07:47,218 --> 00:07:48,412 I'll go get her. 187 00:07:49,317 --> 00:07:50,142 Her ! 188 00:07:51,468 --> 00:07:55,261 Darnell, there is no way in hell. I want a woman to represent me. 189 00:07:55,388 --> 00:07:57,720 Nobody pays attention to a woman unless she's on their lap 190 00:07:57,855 --> 00:07:59,222 with two minutes left in the damn song. 191 00:07:59,345 --> 00:08:00,150 That's not true. 192 00:08:00,286 --> 00:08:01,872 There are a lot of smart women out there. 193 00:08:02,007 --> 00:08:02,880 Diane Sawyer. 194 00:08:03,006 --> 00:08:05,883 And that Chinese chick at the deli. She always gets our order right. 195 00:08:06,006 --> 00:08:09,063 And she totally guessed who would win at the Kentucky Derby. 196 00:08:09,235 --> 00:08:12,382 I'm Ruby Whitlow, and this is my interpreter Doug. Hi. 197 00:08:13,727 --> 00:08:15,031 Sorry I'm late. 198 00:08:15,986 --> 00:08:17,713 It's very nice to meet you. 199 00:08:18,107 --> 00:08:20,343 Can you please tell her that I'm gonna need another lawyer ? 200 00:08:20,468 --> 00:08:22,471 It's nothing personal. It's just I don't want to be represented 201 00:08:22,606 --> 00:08:25,251 by somebody whose ears are only good for holding up glasses. 202 00:08:25,756 --> 00:08:27,271 Don't tell her that last part though. 203 00:08:27,407 --> 00:08:29,091 She can read lips. 204 00:08:29,246 --> 00:08:29,892 Oh. 205 00:08:32,746 --> 00:08:35,481 It's nothing against the deaf. 206 00:08:36,938 --> 00:08:40,210 The way my kids act up most days, 207 00:08:40,398 --> 00:08:42,010 I wish I couldn't hear. 208 00:08:44,056 --> 00:08:46,633 No, but seriously, not to be rude, I will let you bag my groceries, 209 00:08:46,767 --> 00:08:47,733 I will let you greet me at Wal-Mart, 210 00:08:47,855 --> 00:08:50,001 I will even buy pencils from you at the bus station 211 00:08:50,098 --> 00:08:51,591 for an unreasonable price. 212 00:08:51,926 --> 00:08:54,781 But this is my third strike, and I really just don't feel comfortable 213 00:08:54,916 --> 00:08:56,583 putting my life in your deaf hands. 214 00:08:57,067 --> 00:08:58,372 You understand that, right ? 215 00:08:58,936 --> 00:09:01,312 She says she's the lawyer the court appointed you and, 216 00:09:01,447 --> 00:09:03,852 if you don't like it, you can represent yourself, 217 00:09:03,986 --> 00:09:06,360 you ignorant white trash whore. 218 00:09:07,227 --> 00:09:10,143 Well, those are tough words coming from a woman who can't even say 'em ! 219 00:09:11,567 --> 00:09:12,722 Come on, Darnell. 220 00:09:25,628 --> 00:09:29,063 Not surprisingly, carnival folk know how to have a good time, 221 00:09:29,186 --> 00:09:30,832 so we stayed for hours. 222 00:09:34,678 --> 00:09:36,661 Ringer ! Score one for the freaks ! 223 00:09:37,117 --> 00:09:37,712 Nice. 224 00:09:37,766 --> 00:09:40,200 We're going again, right after I get another beer. 225 00:09:41,976 --> 00:09:44,593 Man, that little freak can ringtoss. 226 00:09:44,717 --> 00:09:46,200 Randy, don't call him a freak. 227 00:09:46,328 --> 00:09:47,422 But he called himself that. 228 00:09:47,555 --> 00:09:49,972 Yeah, but that's like black guys calling each other... 229 00:09:50,177 --> 00:09:51,041 you know. 230 00:09:51,747 --> 00:09:52,541 Brother-man ? 231 00:09:52,676 --> 00:09:54,650 Look, just don't call these guys freaks. 232 00:09:54,986 --> 00:09:57,720 Who wants to go to Shady Pond and skip some rocks ? 233 00:09:57,856 --> 00:09:59,021 I do ! 234 00:09:59,437 --> 00:10:00,290 I'll drive us. 235 00:10:00,426 --> 00:10:03,021 I'm in, but somebody's got to throw my rocks for me. 236 00:10:10,305 --> 00:10:11,643 Earl, you need to turn the car around. 237 00:10:11,777 --> 00:10:13,240 This isn't the way to Shady Pond. 238 00:10:13,376 --> 00:10:14,801 I'm taking us to ice cream first. 239 00:10:14,936 --> 00:10:15,623 My treat. 240 00:10:15,758 --> 00:10:17,421 I know the best place, just a couple towns over. 241 00:10:17,558 --> 00:10:20,042 No, no, no, no, no, no.... 242 00:10:36,535 --> 00:10:38,831 What's going on ? Why did everybody run ? 243 00:10:39,307 --> 00:10:41,043 Shady Grove's our safe place. 244 00:10:41,175 --> 00:10:42,993 If we leave here, people gawk at us. 245 00:10:43,128 --> 00:10:46,221 It's like we're a traveling freak show. 246 00:10:47,957 --> 00:10:51,131 But you are a traveling freak show. 247 00:10:51,268 --> 00:10:53,011 Look, we know we're different. 248 00:10:53,147 --> 00:10:54,753 That's why we joined the carnival. 249 00:10:54,888 --> 00:10:56,263 People coming into a tent 250 00:10:56,397 --> 00:10:58,770 and staring at us is the only way we can make a living. 251 00:10:58,908 --> 00:11:02,222 But when we're not working, we don't want to be freaks. 252 00:11:02,356 --> 00:11:03,990 We don't want to be in a show. 253 00:11:04,318 --> 00:11:06,220 That's why we all live in Shady Grove. 254 00:11:06,348 --> 00:11:08,543 'Cause it's the only place we feel normal. 255 00:11:09,965 --> 00:11:11,980 But it was just a trip for ice cream. 256 00:11:12,117 --> 00:11:13,061 Soft serve. 257 00:11:13,187 --> 00:11:14,833 It comes out of the machine in a star shape, 258 00:11:14,957 --> 00:11:16,670 kind of like one of them Play-Doh machines. 259 00:11:16,806 --> 00:11:19,232 Except you can't play with it, 'cause it'll melt in your hands too fast. 260 00:11:19,366 --> 00:11:20,483 We're still gonna go, right ? 261 00:11:20,607 --> 00:11:23,153 I don't expect you guys to understand. 262 00:11:23,535 --> 00:11:26,011 You don't know what it's like to have strangers pointing and laughing at you 263 00:11:26,138 --> 00:11:27,632 because of the way that you look. 264 00:11:27,817 --> 00:11:30,881 You can't understand a freak until you've been treated like a freak. 265 00:11:31,396 --> 00:11:34,392 Something about what Maggie said made the wierdest thing happen. 266 00:11:34,657 --> 00:11:37,671 My brain reminded me of something I haven't thought of in years. 267 00:11:45,567 --> 00:11:47,800 Hey, Hickey, come on, take off that shirt. 268 00:11:47,926 --> 00:11:49,013 Pool rules. 269 00:11:49,145 --> 00:11:52,063 If I want to see a Hickey in a wet T-shirt, I'll call your mother, all right ? 270 00:11:52,556 --> 00:11:54,543 Coach Lou, we talked about this. 271 00:11:54,677 --> 00:11:55,323 My problem ? 272 00:11:55,445 --> 00:11:57,301 Take off the shirt or come back down the ladder. 273 00:11:57,437 --> 00:11:58,903 Let's go. Come on, buddy. 274 00:12:28,257 --> 00:12:30,540 All the kids called me Rasta Nipples. 275 00:12:30,668 --> 00:12:32,110 Are they still that hairy ? 276 00:12:32,248 --> 00:12:34,552 Yeah, but the rest of my chest has kind of caught up with them. 277 00:12:34,967 --> 00:12:36,810 Looks like the floor of a barber shop. 278 00:12:37,045 --> 00:12:39,070 I still don't like taking my shirt off in public. 279 00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:42,341 So you never jumped off the high dive like you wanted to ? 280 00:12:43,117 --> 00:12:43,761 Nope. 281 00:12:44,127 --> 00:12:46,690 Did you ever confront the people who hurt your feelings ? 282 00:12:46,826 --> 00:12:47,470 No, but that's... 283 00:12:47,608 --> 00:12:48,850 So what did you do ? 284 00:12:49,295 --> 00:12:50,803 You ran away and hid. 285 00:12:54,685 --> 00:12:56,900 I thought they were calling you Pasta Nipples. 286 00:12:57,038 --> 00:12:59,761 I was wondering how they knew what your nipples tasted like. 287 00:13:01,128 --> 00:13:02,273 Without a public defender, 288 00:13:02,407 --> 00:13:05,002 the only other lawyer Joy can afford was herself. 289 00:13:05,316 --> 00:13:06,620 How's it going, lawyer lady ? 290 00:13:06,756 --> 00:13:07,352 Cruddy. 291 00:13:07,477 --> 00:13:09,563 I need the damn Dummies Guide to the Dummies Guide. 292 00:13:09,687 --> 00:13:12,083 I swear it seems like half this legal stuff is written in Latin. 293 00:13:12,208 --> 00:13:14,181 Can't even understand the dang cartoons. 294 00:13:14,816 --> 00:13:16,232 Well, this cartoon is easy. 295 00:13:16,355 --> 00:13:18,681 Obviously, the camel is suing for intentional tort because 296 00:13:18,818 --> 00:13:19,840 the turtle had prior knowledge 297 00:13:19,976 --> 00:13:22,270 that the rock would slip and it would cause physical injury, 298 00:13:22,406 --> 00:13:24,883 as well as deny him his liberty to cross the stream. 299 00:13:25,008 --> 00:13:26,782 Therefore, it leaving the turtle liable. 300 00:13:28,497 --> 00:13:29,403 Wrong ! 301 00:13:29,535 --> 00:13:31,931 It's a llama not a camel, stupid. 302 00:13:32,535 --> 00:13:33,423 I can't believe this. 303 00:13:33,558 --> 00:13:35,801 I'm gonna have to go kiss that deaf lady's ass. 304 00:13:42,046 --> 00:13:44,441 That's definitely a dromedary camel. 305 00:13:46,088 --> 00:13:48,963 I was having a hard time dealing with what Maggie had said. 306 00:13:49,095 --> 00:13:51,243 So the next morning I went to do something about it. 307 00:13:51,377 --> 00:13:52,710 You're a jackass. 308 00:13:54,017 --> 00:13:54,612 Excuse me ? 309 00:13:54,655 --> 00:13:55,632 Earl Hickey. 310 00:13:55,766 --> 00:13:57,233 Very hairy nipples. 311 00:13:58,328 --> 00:13:59,400 Look at that. Hickey. 312 00:13:59,526 --> 00:14:00,632 How are you, Hickey ? 313 00:14:00,765 --> 00:14:03,550 You know I could've jumped off that high dive with my shirt on. 314 00:14:03,685 --> 00:14:06,561 But you made me stand up there like a freak while everybody laughed. 315 00:14:06,817 --> 00:14:07,681 It was mean. 316 00:14:07,818 --> 00:14:10,402 Because of you, I never got to experience the thrill 317 00:14:10,527 --> 00:14:13,740 of flying through the air into a pool of water on a hot summer day. 318 00:14:14,378 --> 00:14:17,371 Ow ! Ow ! Ow ! Ow ! 319 00:14:17,506 --> 00:14:19,410 What, do you think I'm some kind of meathead gym teacher 320 00:14:19,546 --> 00:14:21,371 who gets his kicks picking on weak little kids ? 321 00:14:21,497 --> 00:14:22,691 I was under that impression, yes. 322 00:14:22,817 --> 00:14:24,600 Yeah ? Did it ever occur to you 323 00:14:24,725 --> 00:14:27,001 that maybe I was making you take your shirt off for your own good ? 324 00:14:27,095 --> 00:14:28,742 I... please let my ear go. 325 00:14:29,027 --> 00:14:30,580 Of course the kids were going to laugh at you, Hickey. 326 00:14:30,715 --> 00:14:31,800 You have hairy nipples. 327 00:14:31,937 --> 00:14:33,281 But so what ? 328 00:14:33,415 --> 00:14:37,323 Listen, never let other people keep you from living your life, Hickey. 329 00:14:37,445 --> 00:14:41,132 And never poke a gym teacher in his chest in front of his class. 330 00:14:41,256 --> 00:14:42,021 Huh ? 331 00:14:42,257 --> 00:14:44,510 I see you peeing in there, Inchworm. 332 00:14:44,666 --> 00:14:45,383 Pinch it off. 333 00:14:45,508 --> 00:14:47,653 Coach Lou was right to almost pull off my ear. 334 00:14:47,777 --> 00:14:48,832 I shouldn't have poked him. 335 00:14:48,965 --> 00:14:51,090 And he was right about my nipples, too. 336 00:14:51,226 --> 00:14:54,061 Laying there, I decided what I needed to do next. 337 00:14:54,356 --> 00:14:57,761 So I realized I let being called a freak ruin something fun for me. 338 00:14:57,885 --> 00:15:00,151 And I decided I'm not going to let that happen again. 339 00:15:00,285 --> 00:15:01,660 So, first thing tomorrow morning, 340 00:15:01,797 --> 00:15:03,791 I'm going to go back down to that swimming pool 341 00:15:03,925 --> 00:15:06,541 and I'm gonna jump off that high dive shirtless and hairy. 342 00:15:06,667 --> 00:15:08,171 And I want you to all come, too. 343 00:15:08,298 --> 00:15:09,331 Who's with me ? 344 00:15:16,667 --> 00:15:18,750 Come on, guys, you can do this. 345 00:15:19,078 --> 00:15:22,411 Together we'll break free from the judging stares of the world and... 346 00:15:22,548 --> 00:15:24,841 and live the lives we want to. William... 347 00:15:25,368 --> 00:15:26,320 Jean... 348 00:15:26,877 --> 00:15:27,820 Tommy... 349 00:15:28,138 --> 00:15:29,610 Dude, you've got a hairy chest. 350 00:15:29,735 --> 00:15:32,211 I've got hands like a frickin' lobster. 351 00:15:32,567 --> 00:15:33,723 It's not the same. 352 00:15:36,315 --> 00:15:37,201 Maggie ? 353 00:15:50,165 --> 00:15:51,063 Hello ? 354 00:15:51,198 --> 00:15:52,602 Can I come inside ? 355 00:15:55,838 --> 00:15:56,613 Hey. 356 00:15:58,178 --> 00:15:59,192 Um... 357 00:15:59,318 --> 00:16:03,410 where is the man who hears for you ? 358 00:16:07,637 --> 00:16:08,560 That's okay. 359 00:16:08,697 --> 00:16:10,663 I brought you something you can read anyway. 360 00:16:11,348 --> 00:16:13,141 They didn't have any for the hearing impaired, 361 00:16:13,278 --> 00:16:15,603 so I got you a blind people card with all the bumps on it. 362 00:16:18,708 --> 00:16:20,760 Listen, I can understand why you'd be mad at me. 363 00:16:20,896 --> 00:16:23,871 I mean, it was wrong of me to think you'd be stupid just because you're deaf. 364 00:16:23,998 --> 00:16:26,673 But in my defense, the only other deaf person I've known was stupid. 365 00:16:26,805 --> 00:16:29,070 Actually, I think he might've been brain damaged and maybe he really could hear, 366 00:16:29,198 --> 00:16:30,172 but he was missing an ear. 367 00:16:30,305 --> 00:16:32,921 Anyway, the point is I'm sorry I was unfair. 368 00:16:33,046 --> 00:16:35,132 I mean, I know what it's like to be prejudiced against. 369 00:16:35,265 --> 00:16:36,921 After all, my husband is black. 370 00:16:43,677 --> 00:16:45,200 Mrs. Whitlow... 371 00:16:45,947 --> 00:16:48,292 look, I can't go to jail, please, I'm a mother. 372 00:16:48,528 --> 00:16:50,502 And I know I might not be the best mother there ever was, 373 00:16:50,628 --> 00:16:51,940 but I love my kids. 374 00:16:52,076 --> 00:16:54,303 And if I get locked up, who's gonna tuck them in at night 375 00:16:54,437 --> 00:16:55,973 and rub their bellies when they have tummy aches 376 00:16:56,105 --> 00:16:58,132 and kiss their little boo-boos till they smile ? 377 00:16:58,415 --> 00:17:02,743 And if you take my case, I promise that I will give you the respect 378 00:17:02,877 --> 00:17:05,413 and dignity that you so clearly deserve. 379 00:17:06,496 --> 00:17:07,992 Please help me. 380 00:17:10,448 --> 00:17:11,770 Okay, Joy. 381 00:17:12,145 --> 00:17:13,563 I'll represent you. 382 00:17:18,848 --> 00:17:20,353 I'm sorry. 383 00:17:21,078 --> 00:17:24,270 It's just if you could hear the way you sound... 384 00:17:25,727 --> 00:17:26,563 It's cool, though. 385 00:17:26,696 --> 00:17:27,780 It's cool. 386 00:17:28,208 --> 00:17:28,860 I'm fine. 387 00:17:28,997 --> 00:17:30,981 The next morning, I went down to the pool. 388 00:17:31,115 --> 00:17:33,181 I was bummed no one wanted to come with me, 389 00:17:33,317 --> 00:17:35,551 but I still wanted to prove something to myself. 390 00:17:35,826 --> 00:17:38,100 And besides, all I needed was me, 391 00:17:38,235 --> 00:17:41,011 my two hairy nipples, and a diving board. 392 00:17:58,765 --> 00:18:01,070 But wanting to do something and actually doing it 393 00:18:01,198 --> 00:18:02,700 are two different things. 394 00:18:07,256 --> 00:18:08,660 What are you guys doing here ? 395 00:18:08,787 --> 00:18:11,261 We thought about what you said, Earl. You're right. 396 00:18:11,397 --> 00:18:14,463 We came here to live our lives and to watch you live yours. 397 00:18:17,535 --> 00:18:20,141 I had never felt more brave in all my life. 398 00:18:21,868 --> 00:18:25,001 * Well, if you want to sing out, sing out * 399 00:18:25,175 --> 00:18:27,323 * And if you want to be free * 400 00:18:27,458 --> 00:18:29,130 And I'm pretty sure they hadn't either. 401 00:18:29,266 --> 00:18:32,543 * 'Cause there's a million things to be * 402 00:18:32,668 --> 00:18:34,330 * You know that there are * 403 00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:39,811 * And if you want to live high, live high * 404 00:18:40,355 --> 00:18:43,541 * And if you want to live low, live low * 405 00:18:43,997 --> 00:18:49,051 * 'Cause there's a million ways to go, * * you know that there are * 406 00:18:52,376 --> 00:18:58,213 * You can do what you want * * The opportunity's on... * 407 00:18:59,315 --> 00:19:01,591 And their bravery didn't stop at the pool. 408 00:19:01,725 --> 00:19:03,783 They set out to follow their dreams. 409 00:19:04,065 --> 00:19:06,001 Kevin got a job as a mechanic. 410 00:19:08,825 --> 00:19:10,571 Paul became a stock trader. 411 00:19:13,848 --> 00:19:17,903 Jean used her natural gift of massage to get her chiropractor's license. 412 00:19:22,665 --> 00:19:24,241 William worked as a chef. 413 00:19:27,277 --> 00:19:29,681 Maggie took her love for fixing up houses 414 00:19:29,818 --> 00:19:31,990 and became a very successful house seller. 415 00:19:34,315 --> 00:19:35,423 And it turned out, 416 00:19:35,555 --> 00:19:38,303 all Tommy ever wanted was to be a kid. 417 00:19:42,156 --> 00:19:45,250 That year, the traveling carnival had its rides 418 00:19:45,538 --> 00:19:46,890 and its fun foods, but... 419 00:19:47,017 --> 00:19:49,303 because of me there was something missing... 420 00:19:49,426 --> 00:19:50,642 the sideshow. 421 00:19:52,746 --> 00:19:54,581 And I felt good about that. 422 00:19:55,706 --> 00:19:57,883 * You know that there are... * 423 00:19:59,307 --> 00:20:03,142 Transcript: Raceman Synchro: Dingo 424 00:20:04,888 --> 00:20:07,721 What a bunch of freaks. 425 00:20:08,086 --> 00:20:11,470 www.forom.com http://experts.heberg-forum.net 426 00:20:11,846 --> 00:20:12,820 Hey, Earl ? 427 00:20:13,328 --> 00:20:14,491 Yeah, Randy. 428 00:20:14,637 --> 00:20:17,330 You think I could grow up beard that is nice as Maggy's ? 429 00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:18,651 Maybe. 430 00:20:18,775 --> 00:20:20,132 If you willing to put the time. 431 00:20:20,268 --> 00:20:22,842 I'll put the time and I'll try really hard. 432 00:20:23,338 --> 00:20:27,131 If I do grown nice beard, you think they'd let me been in the carnival ? 433 00:20:27,616 --> 00:20:30,732 No, they're nothing that special about a bearded man. 434 00:20:31,277 --> 00:20:33,453 Unless you're let it on fire or something. 435 00:20:33,988 --> 00:20:37,390 But then you have to wait for it to grow back between shows, so... 436 00:20:37,527 --> 00:20:39,452 it probably wouldn't pay too much. 437 00:20:39,647 --> 00:20:42,783 They probably just give you like free snow cones and 438 00:20:42,916 --> 00:20:44,992 unlimited ****** or something. 439 00:20:45,115 --> 00:20:48,153 If I have my face on fire, screw that. 440 00:20:48,595 --> 00:20:50,260 Yeah, that's the right thing. 441 00:20:51,038 --> 00:20:52,192 Good night, Earl. 442 00:20:52,378 --> 00:20:53,493 Good night, Randy.