1 00:00:05,505 --> 00:00:09,771 [ Earl Narrating ] I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous about doing number 86 on my list- 2 00:00:09,876 --> 00:00:11,867 stole a car from a one-legged girl. 3 00:00:13,079 --> 00:00:15,877 You said you loved me! 4 00:00:15,982 --> 00:00:17,973 [ Ricochet ] 5 00:00:24,457 --> 00:00:27,085 [ Earl Narrating ] I understand why she was so upset. 6 00:00:27,193 --> 00:00:29,661 That car was like a leg to her. 7 00:00:31,364 --> 00:00:33,355 If you'll just let me explain. 8 00:00:33,466 --> 00:00:35,491 You son of a bitch! 9 00:00:38,438 --> 00:00:41,999 Wow. You move pretty good with that leg, Didi. 10 00:00:42,108 --> 00:00:45,100 [ Earl Narrating ] And as handi-capable as one-legged Didi was... 11 00:00:45,211 --> 00:00:47,509 her no-legged boyfriend was handi-capabler. 12 00:00:47,614 --> 00:00:49,548 Damn! 13 00:00:52,852 --> 00:00:56,879 I was starting to think that today wasn't the day to do number 86 on the list. 14 00:00:56,990 --> 00:00:59,049 Maybe karma wanted me somewhere else. 15 00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:08,993 And then I got a sign. Number 4- 16 00:01:09,102 --> 00:01:11,127 blew Dad's chance to be elected mayor. 17 00:01:14,140 --> 00:01:17,109 You know the kind of guy who does nothing but bad things... 18 00:01:17,210 --> 00:01:19,144 and then wonders why his life sucks? 19 00:01:19,245 --> 00:01:23,477 Well, that was me. Every time somethin' good happened to me... 20 00:01:23,583 --> 00:01:26,882 somethin' bad was always waitin' around the corner. 21 00:01:28,221 --> 00:01:29,848 Karma. 22 00:01:29,956 --> 00:01:32,049 That's when I realized I had to change. 23 00:01:33,426 --> 00:01:35,690 So I made a list of everything bad I've ever done... 24 00:01:35,795 --> 00:01:38,889 and, one by one, I'm gonna make up for all my mistakes. 25 00:01:38,998 --> 00:01:40,966 I'm just tryin' to be a better person. 26 00:01:41,067 --> 00:01:43,627 My name is Earl. 27 00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:51,809 So how many times did this robot man hit you with that sign? 28 00:01:51,911 --> 00:01:54,402 I don't know. I blacked out after about seven. 29 00:01:54,514 --> 00:01:56,675 Still can't figure out why he took my boots. 30 00:01:56,783 --> 00:01:58,876 Seems like a pointless crime. 31 00:01:58,985 --> 00:02:00,976 Man, I wish I had robot legs. 32 00:02:01,087 --> 00:02:04,454 Or robot hands. Robot hands would be cool. 33 00:02:04,557 --> 00:02:08,823 With like, a knife finger, and a spoon finger, and a fork finger... 34 00:02:08,928 --> 00:02:13,524 and a toothbrush finger, and a comb finger, and a bottle opener finger... 35 00:02:13,633 --> 00:02:17,330 and a flashlight finger and a screwdriver finger. 36 00:02:18,738 --> 00:02:21,206 But regular thumbs. You gotta have regular thumbs. 37 00:02:21,307 --> 00:02:23,605 True. 38 00:02:23,710 --> 00:02:27,339 So, you're gonna ask your father to run for this mayor thinger? 39 00:02:27,447 --> 00:02:31,645 If he'll talk to me. We don't exactly have the best relationship. 40 00:02:31,751 --> 00:02:35,414 [ Earl Narrating ] That's me-baby Earl. And that's my dad, Carl Hickey. 41 00:02:35,522 --> 00:02:38,184 Typical dirty politicians. It's corrupt all the way to the- 42 00:02:38,291 --> 00:02:41,488 Dag nab it, Kay! Point his dingle the other way! 43 00:02:41,594 --> 00:02:43,323 He ruined my blueberry crumble. 44 00:02:43,429 --> 00:02:47,024 My father was the kind of guy that was always frustrated with the world. 45 00:02:47,133 --> 00:02:50,660 And as I grew older, he became more and more frustrated with me as well. 46 00:02:50,770 --> 00:02:55,975 Well, Earl, what are you doing up so late, little fella? 47 00:02:55,975 --> 00:02:56,339 Well, Earl, what are you doing up so late, little fella? 48 00:02:56,442 --> 00:02:59,206 Ooh! [ Groaning ] 49 00:02:59,312 --> 00:03:04,011 Sorry, Rick. We're having him tested. 50 00:03:08,655 --> 00:03:11,351 Whether it was getting behind Ford, McGovern... 51 00:03:11,457 --> 00:03:16,690 Carter or the metric system, my father was always on the losing side of things. 52 00:03:16,796 --> 00:03:19,424 Hell, even in his own castle, he wasn't king. 53 00:03:19,532 --> 00:03:23,195 His own sons gave him less respect than the world did. 54 00:03:23,303 --> 00:03:25,931 - [ Doorbell Rings ] - [ Kay ] Carl, get up. 55 00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:28,599 The Goldbergs are here for dinner. 56 00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:31,268 [ Groans ] 57 00:03:32,612 --> 00:03:35,342 [ Both Chuckling ] 58 00:03:35,448 --> 00:03:38,849 [ Earl Narrating ] As I grew older, my pranks got the attention of the authorities. 59 00:03:40,353 --> 00:03:42,685 [ Siren Chirps ] 60 00:03:42,789 --> 00:03:45,952 - Police! Freeze! - It ate my card. 61 00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:50,086 But, as frustrated as he was with us, Dad came to bail us out. 62 00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:58,197 Of course, bailing us out just gave us another opportunity to get into more trouble. 63 00:03:58,304 --> 00:04:00,295 [ Siren Wailing ] 64 00:04:01,541 --> 00:04:03,441 Drop it, or I'll shoot you in the face! 65 00:04:03,543 --> 00:04:06,307 Uh, I locked my keys in my car. 66 00:04:06,412 --> 00:04:09,779 But, as frustrated as he was, Dad bailed us out again. 67 00:04:11,884 --> 00:04:14,409 And again. 68 00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:18,819 And again. 69 00:04:20,526 --> 00:04:22,858 But eventually Dad gave up on us. 70 00:04:22,962 --> 00:04:24,953 Looks like you're in for the night. 71 00:04:27,433 --> 00:04:30,197 - Was it my fault we got caught? - Of course it was your fault. 72 00:04:30,303 --> 00:04:32,601 I was halfway down the block with the basket of money... 73 00:04:32,705 --> 00:04:34,866 and you tripped over your damn dress. 74 00:04:34,974 --> 00:04:39,411 I told you to go as a priest, but no, you thought it'd be funny to dress as a nun. 75 00:04:39,512 --> 00:04:43,073 If you had just listened to me instead of worrying so much about trying to- 76 00:04:46,019 --> 00:04:48,214 It's funny, isn't it. Is it funny? 77 00:04:48,321 --> 00:04:50,516 - Yeah, it's funny. - I told you. 78 00:04:50,623 --> 00:04:54,024 It's because I'm a man, but I'm dressed like a woman. 79 00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:56,721 [ Earl Narrating ] I did a lot of things to disappoint my dad... 80 00:04:56,829 --> 00:05:00,321 but it was something I did four years ago that hurt him the most. 81 00:05:00,433 --> 00:05:03,163 If you are like me, you are always asking yourself... 82 00:05:03,269 --> 00:05:06,636 "How can our children learn to putt when DC-10s strafe the fairway?" 83 00:05:06,739 --> 00:05:10,971 Let's send those planes away from our fairways, away from nearby homes... 84 00:05:11,077 --> 00:05:14,308 and over this blank spot, here. 85 00:05:14,414 --> 00:05:16,678 Vote Marty Park for mayor. 86 00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:21,810 Golf scores come down, home values go up! 87 00:05:21,921 --> 00:05:24,651 [ Announcer] Paid for by Marty Park for mayor. 88 00:05:24,757 --> 00:05:29,285 The blank spot is us. He's got planes flying over the blank spot, Kay. 89 00:05:29,395 --> 00:05:31,295 The blank spot is us! 90 00:05:31,397 --> 00:05:33,558 [ Earl Narrating ] My father was mad as hell... 91 00:05:33,666 --> 00:05:35,566 and for the first time in his life... 92 00:05:35,668 --> 00:05:38,398 he wasn't gonna leave it up to the politicians to change the world. 93 00:05:38,504 --> 00:05:40,438 - He was gonna change it himself. - [ Woman ] All right, Carl. 94 00:05:40,540 --> 00:05:43,703 - He decided to run for mayor. - [ Horns Honking ] 95 00:05:46,079 --> 00:05:50,982 Back when I was married to Joy, she often filled the role of designated driver. 96 00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:53,143 Of course, that didn't mean we stayed out of trouble. 97 00:05:53,252 --> 00:05:57,313 [ Siren Wailing ] 98 00:05:59,225 --> 00:06:01,921 What kind of idiot throws a beer can at a cop car? 99 00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:04,019 Ma'am, I need you to get back in your vehicle. 100 00:06:04,130 --> 00:06:07,896 If I lose my license because of you, I swear to God, Earl. 101 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:11,527 I need you to get back in your vehicle. I don't wanna use my Taser. 102 00:06:11,637 --> 00:06:13,832 Oh, please. Put your little ray gun away. 103 00:06:13,940 --> 00:06:15,840 - Shoot her. - No, no, don't. Don't shoot her. 104 00:06:15,942 --> 00:06:19,742 - [ Randy ] Shoot her. - Get back in your vehicle, miss. I-I will tase you. 105 00:06:19,846 --> 00:06:22,838 I wish you would tase me. I'll sue your ass so fast you'd- 106 00:06:34,761 --> 00:06:36,991 [ Man ] For years, Carl Hickey's son has been a menace... 107 00:06:37,096 --> 00:06:40,361 to the good people of Camden County, and now he's assaulting the police. 108 00:06:40,466 --> 00:06:43,526 How can Carl Hickey raise our standard of living... 109 00:06:43,636 --> 00:06:46,867 when he can't even raise his own son? 110 00:06:46,973 --> 00:06:49,464 Paid for by Marty Park for mayor. 111 00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:53,875 It was my dad's one chance in life to make a difference in the world, and I ruined it. 112 00:06:53,980 --> 00:06:55,880 He's not gonna be able to sleep tonight. 113 00:06:55,982 --> 00:06:59,042 I'm gonna have to crush up a little sleep aid in his pudding snack. 114 00:06:59,152 --> 00:07:01,052 [ Earl Narrating ] He lost in a landslide. 115 00:07:01,154 --> 00:07:05,454 Not only did I take away his chance of winning, I took away his will to fight. 116 00:07:10,296 --> 00:07:12,992 I wasn't excited about going to see my folks. 117 00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:17,433 I tried to get Randy to go with me, but just talking about it made him nervous. 118 00:07:17,537 --> 00:07:20,472 So, after a few days, I decided to brave it alone. 119 00:07:21,908 --> 00:07:25,435 [ Chattering ] And then I said- 120 00:07:26,779 --> 00:07:28,770 Doris, I'm gonna call you back later. 121 00:07:28,881 --> 00:07:31,645 - Hey, Mom. - You need money, Son? Is that it? 122 00:07:31,751 --> 00:07:33,742 - No, I just wanna- - [ Carl ] Kay, who is it? 123 00:07:33,853 --> 00:07:36,617 Uh, just the Mormons, Carl. 124 00:07:36,722 --> 00:07:39,452 He's down on the Mormons, so you better scoot. I'll put $20 under the lawn goose. 125 00:07:39,559 --> 00:07:41,459 No, I don't need money, Mom. I- 126 00:07:41,561 --> 00:07:45,019 For the last time, boys, we already have a lord. 127 00:07:49,101 --> 00:07:51,626 Dad, wait. 128 00:07:52,839 --> 00:07:55,307 Look, I've changed. We need to talk. 129 00:07:55,408 --> 00:07:57,205 - [ TVOn ] - Okay, we're starting supper. 130 00:07:57,310 --> 00:08:00,108 I'll leave $30 under the goose and some PowerBars. 131 00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:03,649 Look, I made a list of all the bad things I did, and I'm making up for them. 132 00:08:03,749 --> 00:08:06,877 - Ruining your election is number 4. - What election? 133 00:08:06,986 --> 00:08:09,921 - To be mayor. - Idiot, that was four years ago. 134 00:08:10,022 --> 00:08:13,185 Why in purple heck would I want anything to do with politics now? 135 00:08:13,292 --> 00:08:15,954 - [ Airplane Passing Overhead ] - [ Continues, Indistinct ] 136 00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:20,265 ...a lifetime of happiness. 137 00:08:20,366 --> 00:08:24,632 I should have sold your worthless behind to the traveling circus. 138 00:08:24,737 --> 00:08:27,865 But you could win. I'll help. You'll see, I've changed. 139 00:08:27,974 --> 00:08:30,738 [ Woman On TV] Later in the week, a cold- [ Channel Changes ] 140 00:08:30,843 --> 00:08:32,640 Dad? 141 00:08:32,745 --> 00:08:35,908 [ Woman On TV] A quarter cup of the celery and carrot mixture there. 142 00:08:36,015 --> 00:08:38,677 - [ Man On TV] Now do we dice- - So, this is it? 143 00:08:38,784 --> 00:08:41,480 You never wanna see your sons again? 144 00:08:41,587 --> 00:08:44,317 You've just completely written me and Randy right out of your life? 145 00:08:44,423 --> 00:08:46,584 [ Toilet Flushes ] 146 00:08:46,692 --> 00:08:49,092 - Randy? - No. 147 00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:52,255 What's he doing here? 148 00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:54,356 He's here every Sunday. 149 00:08:54,467 --> 00:08:56,367 He told me he was in a regular poker game. 150 00:08:56,469 --> 00:08:58,733 He is. He is, and we play for those little marshmallows. 151 00:08:58,838 --> 00:09:01,272 Then when we're done, we divide them up and we put them in our cocoa. 152 00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:03,399 - [ Door Opens ] - That way, everybody wins. 153 00:09:03,509 --> 00:09:07,070 How come you hate me, but you'll gamble for marshmallows with Randy? 154 00:09:07,179 --> 00:09:09,079 Well, there's a difference between you two. 155 00:09:09,181 --> 00:09:11,615 See, one of you's bad and one of you's simple. 156 00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:15,847 - And, Earl, you're bad. - What am I? 157 00:09:15,955 --> 00:09:18,719 - Randy! - No. 158 00:09:18,824 --> 00:09:21,054 - [ Carl ] Kay! - Uh, check under the goose. Twenty minutes. 159 00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:23,754 No, uh, Mom, I don't need any money. 160 00:09:26,065 --> 00:09:28,625 I'm sure your parents will forgive you eventually. 161 00:09:28,734 --> 00:09:32,135 Your mom is sweet, and Carl has a very good heart. 162 00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:35,469 - Have you been there too? - No. 163 00:09:40,279 --> 00:09:43,544 - Are you mad at me? - I'm fine. 164 00:09:43,649 --> 00:09:46,982 - Are you sure? - Just come in. I'm not mad at you. 165 00:09:47,086 --> 00:09:49,486 What are you doing? 166 00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:53,389 I'm entering Dad in the election whether he says he wants me to or not. 167 00:09:53,492 --> 00:09:55,858 So you can cross him off your list? 168 00:09:55,962 --> 00:09:58,988 It's about more than the list, Randy. I want him to see I've changed. 169 00:09:59,098 --> 00:10:02,795 - I want us to be a family again. - That would be cool. 170 00:10:02,902 --> 00:10:05,166 Plus, if Dad was mayor... 171 00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:09,571 we'd get to wear top hats and sashes and judge beauty contests. 172 00:10:09,675 --> 00:10:11,666 That's Monopoly, Randy. 173 00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:21,011 No, th-that's not Monopoly. 174 00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:23,884 [ Airplane Passing Overhead ] 175 00:10:32,598 --> 00:10:36,591 Welcome to the candidates' debate for Camden city mayor. 176 00:10:36,702 --> 00:10:39,034 Hi. I'm Rhonda Gibbs. 177 00:10:39,138 --> 00:10:41,971 In this live broadcast... 178 00:10:42,074 --> 00:10:46,977 incumbent Marty Park will be debating challenger Carl Hickey. 179 00:10:47,079 --> 00:10:49,707 - What the heck? - My goodness, put a tape in. 180 00:10:49,815 --> 00:10:52,716 - You're gonna be on TV. - I'm not running for mayor. 181 00:10:52,818 --> 00:10:55,616 How the heck do they think I'm gonna debate if I'm sitting right here? 182 00:10:55,721 --> 00:10:59,623 Filling in for Carl Hickey will be his son, Earl Hickey. 183 00:10:59,725 --> 00:11:01,158 No, no, no, no. 184 00:11:01,260 --> 00:11:03,194 My father is feeling a little under the weather. 185 00:11:03,295 --> 00:11:06,662 Now don't embarrass me. Don't embarrass me. 186 00:11:06,766 --> 00:11:08,666 [ Woman On TV] Nothing serious, I hope. 187 00:11:08,768 --> 00:11:11,737 Uh, diarrhea. 188 00:11:14,573 --> 00:11:17,770 I-I'm gonna get you a little ginger ale. That always helps your tummy. 189 00:11:19,445 --> 00:11:22,039 [ Airplane Passing Overhead ] 190 00:11:24,150 --> 00:11:27,313 And my administration's careful budget reallocation... 191 00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:29,581 targeting our transportation infrastructure... 192 00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:33,557 has already made Camden's streets and bridges the envy of this great state. 193 00:11:33,659 --> 00:11:38,562 Mr. Hickey, your views on transportation infrastructure. 194 00:11:44,070 --> 00:11:48,666 One time my dad made his own driveway sealer out of maple syrup and ground-up glass. 195 00:11:48,774 --> 00:11:52,938 Randy tried it on pancakes. That's another story. But if you've got a minute, I'd like- 196 00:11:53,045 --> 00:11:55,843 Will you get off the stage, you idiot. 197 00:11:55,948 --> 00:11:58,416 Are you-Are you talking to me or him? 198 00:11:58,517 --> 00:12:02,044 I'm talking to you, Earl. You're embarrassing us all. 199 00:12:02,154 --> 00:12:06,955 Your moth- Hey, that's enough of that. Stop it. Stop! Stop it! 200 00:12:07,059 --> 00:12:10,392 I told Carl those pants make his legs look stubby. 201 00:12:10,496 --> 00:12:13,522 Okay, fine. Put this on TV. 202 00:12:13,632 --> 00:12:16,499 Don't vote for me. I don't want to be mayor. 203 00:12:16,602 --> 00:12:20,299 I ran four years ago to stop the jet planes from flying over... 204 00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:23,466 but until he brought it up, I hadn't thought about the planes for ages. 205 00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:28,275 I've gotten used to them. Everybody's gotten used to them. It's fine! 206 00:12:28,380 --> 00:12:32,043 [ Earl Narrating ] He was right. People had gotten used to them, until now. 207 00:12:32,151 --> 00:12:36,884 - [ Airplane Passing Overhead ] - Did you hear that, Doris? Uh, h-hold on. 208 00:12:36,989 --> 00:12:41,517 Once Dad mentioned the jet noise on TV, people started to notice again. 209 00:12:45,197 --> 00:12:48,428 - [ Airplane Passing Overhead ] - A lot of people. 210 00:12:48,534 --> 00:12:50,434 [ Airplane Passing Overhead ] 211 00:12:50,536 --> 00:12:54,563 All of a sudden, people started to notice the noise they had gotten used to. 212 00:12:54,673 --> 00:12:58,200 [ Airplane Passing Overhead ] 213 00:13:00,980 --> 00:13:02,880 [ Airplane Passing Overhead ] 214 00:13:04,550 --> 00:13:07,178 I am gonna kick somebody's ass! 215 00:13:07,286 --> 00:13:11,950 My dad's words had reminded people ofhow much they hated the airplanes. 216 00:13:12,057 --> 00:13:16,517 So many people called my dad the next day that he decided to enter the election. 217 00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:20,224 Thanks to me, he was once again fighting for what he believed in. 218 00:13:20,332 --> 00:13:23,733 I'm Carl Hickey, and I need your vote. 219 00:13:23,836 --> 00:13:28,068 - [ Airplane Passing Overhead ] - But I shouldn't have to shout over airplanes to get it. 220 00:13:28,174 --> 00:13:30,335 [ Laughs ] Thank you. 221 00:13:30,442 --> 00:13:32,467 Now don't misunderstand the cookie. 222 00:13:32,578 --> 00:13:35,775 We like air travel. We just don't want planes flying over our heads. 223 00:13:35,881 --> 00:13:37,781 It's all on the back of the cookie. 224 00:13:37,883 --> 00:13:39,783 - Good morning. - Vote Hickey. 225 00:13:39,885 --> 00:13:43,878 - Vote Hickey. - Oh. 226 00:13:43,989 --> 00:13:46,719 All right, way to go, Dad. We're gonna win this thing. 227 00:13:48,627 --> 00:13:51,619 - Will you get the heck out of here? - What? Why? 228 00:13:51,730 --> 00:13:54,198 I-I'm the reason you're running again. I wanna help. 229 00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:58,361 I'm runnin' because the people asked me to, not because of your foolish behind. Scram. 230 00:13:58,470 --> 00:14:01,906 - Dad, it's on my list. I need to help. - What list? 231 00:14:02,007 --> 00:14:04,168 Dad, the photographer from the newspaper's here. We gotta hurry. 232 00:14:04,276 --> 00:14:07,006 A chicken truck tipped over on the interstate. 233 00:14:07,112 --> 00:14:09,376 - Put more spit on my cowlick so I look more mayor-like. -" Mayoral." 234 00:14:09,481 --> 00:14:12,917 - Kay, please. That's three corrections today. - You're doing interviews. 235 00:14:13,018 --> 00:14:15,179 - This is not your time to shine. This is my time to shine. - Mayoral. 236 00:14:15,287 --> 00:14:17,721 - I know you're sensitive. - It's my time to shine. 237 00:14:17,823 --> 00:14:20,417 - Mayor-like. Mayor-like. - Dad. Dad, look. 238 00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:23,154 - What? - I've changed. All right? Just let me stay. 239 00:14:23,262 --> 00:14:26,754 - I won't embarrass you. - What do you think you're doing right now, huh? 240 00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:29,391 [ Man ] Keep up the good work. 241 00:14:29,501 --> 00:14:32,868 Here you go, fella. I always like to help the homeless. 242 00:14:32,972 --> 00:14:34,997 Don't spend it on booze! 243 00:14:35,107 --> 00:14:38,042 - Dad. - Move along, hobo. 244 00:14:38,143 --> 00:14:40,873 [ Earl Narrating ] Unfortunately, things were still bad between my dad and I... 245 00:14:40,980 --> 00:14:44,814 and they were about to get worse. 246 00:14:44,917 --> 00:14:46,851 - Dad's gonna lose. - What? 247 00:14:46,952 --> 00:14:52,413 "Poll shows Carl Hickey is down by 2,000 votes among all registered voters." 248 00:14:52,524 --> 00:14:55,220 See, he's gonna lose again, and blame me for getting him into it. 249 00:14:55,327 --> 00:14:59,525 - What are registered voters? - People who sign up to vote, I guess. 250 00:14:59,632 --> 00:15:03,466 - You and me should sign up. - He's down by more than two votes. 251 00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:07,300 - Can I register to vote? - He's down by more than three votes, Catalina. 252 00:15:09,375 --> 00:15:11,434 - Wait a second. - [ Earl Narrating ] And then it hit me. 253 00:15:11,543 --> 00:15:15,570 There must be a ton of people who could vote for my dad, but just aren't registered. 254 00:15:17,983 --> 00:15:20,918 A whole untapped market of uncaring, unregistered... 255 00:15:21,020 --> 00:15:23,113 - and even unconscious voters out there. - [ Snoring ] 256 00:15:23,222 --> 00:15:26,419 And I, Earl Hickey, could reach 'em. 257 00:15:26,525 --> 00:15:29,494 Poor people. Uneducated people. 258 00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:33,656 Undesirable people. People like me. 259 00:15:33,832 --> 00:15:38,735 After almost no training, I became an official voter registrar. 260 00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:44,902 Registering new voters was fun. 261 00:15:45,010 --> 00:15:48,741 Jasmine. Savannah. I'd like to talk to you ladies about another kind of" pole." 262 00:15:54,219 --> 00:15:56,414 - Felony or misdemeanor? - Misdemeanor. 263 00:15:56,522 --> 00:15:59,116 Great. Can we talk? 264 00:15:59,224 --> 00:16:02,159 If you register to vote, you'll finally have a voice. 265 00:16:02,261 --> 00:16:04,252 [ Synthesized Voice ] Sign me up. 266 00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:10,600 Fine, I'll sign up to vote if you take me to pick up the Subaru. 267 00:16:10,703 --> 00:16:12,603 Squirrels moved in and chewed up the wires again. 268 00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:15,265 - No problem. - All right. 269 00:16:15,374 --> 00:16:17,308 Come on, Darnell. You can sign up too. 270 00:16:17,409 --> 00:16:19,343 I'm already registered to vote. 271 00:16:19,445 --> 00:16:21,436 - What? - Not that it matters. 272 00:16:21,547 --> 00:16:23,742 Because until we reform the electoral college... 273 00:16:23,849 --> 00:16:26,443 the popular votes will be ignored, and we'll keep electing presidents... 274 00:16:26,552 --> 00:16:28,452 that only get a minority of the vote. 275 00:16:30,622 --> 00:16:33,682 That must be some black stuff. I don't know what he's talking about. 276 00:16:41,166 --> 00:16:43,396 Hey. How many of these things did you fill out? 277 00:16:43,502 --> 00:16:46,198 Hopefully enough for my dad to win the election. 278 00:16:46,305 --> 00:16:49,001 Hey, Randy. Take these, will you? 279 00:16:49,108 --> 00:16:51,167 [ Earl ] Hold on to those, Randy. 280 00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:04,550 [ Siren Wailing ] 281 00:17:06,992 --> 00:17:09,085 Sir, I need you to get back in your vehicle. 282 00:17:09,194 --> 00:17:11,560 No, no. I gotta pick up these sign-up slips. My dad's runnin'- 283 00:17:11,663 --> 00:17:13,824 I need you to get back in your vehicle now. 284 00:17:15,467 --> 00:17:18,402 Oh, my God. 285 00:17:24,476 --> 00:17:26,671 [ Man ] How can Carl Hickey raise our standard of living... 286 00:17:26,779 --> 00:17:29,247 when he can't even raise his own son? 287 00:17:29,348 --> 00:17:31,543 Paid for by Marty Park for mayor. 288 00:17:31,650 --> 00:17:34,050 [ Airplane Passing Overhead ] 289 00:17:35,554 --> 00:17:39,456 [ Earl Narrating ] Once again, thanks to me, Dad lost in a landslide. 290 00:17:39,558 --> 00:17:41,992 Yep, well, I crushed some allergy medicine in his lemonade... 291 00:17:42,094 --> 00:17:44,494 but he's still all fired up. 292 00:17:44,596 --> 00:17:47,531 Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot who I was calling. 293 00:17:47,633 --> 00:17:53,572 We'll take, uh, a large pepperoni, and throw in some garlic knots. 294 00:17:53,672 --> 00:17:57,199 That might cheer him up. Oh. 295 00:18:14,993 --> 00:18:17,086 Dad? 296 00:18:26,505 --> 00:18:29,065 Randy had all the papers in the back of the El Camino. 297 00:18:29,174 --> 00:18:32,143 They-They just blew out everywhere. It's not my fault. 298 00:18:32,244 --> 00:18:36,476 And I was just trying to pick 'em all up so you could win the election. 299 00:18:36,582 --> 00:18:39,278 If you'll just sit down with me and look at my list. 300 00:18:39,384 --> 00:18:42,615 See what I've done so far. Please? 301 00:18:42,721 --> 00:18:45,349 Dad, uh, I'm trying to be a good person. 302 00:18:45,457 --> 00:18:47,857 I-I know I've messed up in the past, but I've changed. 303 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:49,951 I promise. 304 00:18:50,062 --> 00:18:53,156 I expect you to pay me back that bail money. 305 00:18:53,265 --> 00:18:55,927 [ Door Closes, Engine Starts ] 306 00:19:06,745 --> 00:19:09,737 - He bailed me out. - What? 307 00:19:09,848 --> 00:19:12,942 He hasn't bailed me out in over six years. 308 00:19:13,051 --> 00:19:17,112 He's comin' around, Randy. He's comin' around. 309 00:19:17,222 --> 00:19:20,157 [ Earl Narrating ] I was foolish to think I could win back my father's respect... 310 00:19:20,259 --> 00:19:22,227 by simply winning him the election. 311 00:19:22,327 --> 00:19:24,989 I've spent my whole life causing him nothing but grief... 312 00:19:25,097 --> 00:19:29,227 and it's gonna take some time before he believes that I've really changed. 313 00:19:29,334 --> 00:19:32,826 I just have to keep doing what I'm doing and maybe one day... 314 00:19:32,938 --> 00:19:36,999 I cross enough things off my list, Dad'll be proud of me. 315 00:19:37,109 --> 00:19:39,839 You know, I ran into John Sheppard down the street. 316 00:19:39,945 --> 00:19:45,178 He said Earl came by and paid for a window he broke 15 years ago. 317 00:19:45,284 --> 00:19:48,845 - Really? - Yep. 318 00:19:48,954 --> 00:19:51,149 [ Airplane Passing Overhead ] 319 00:19:52,591 --> 00:19:54,923 I got it. 320 00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:12,935 - Hey, Earl? - Yeah, Randy? 321 00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:15,809 If you could be any kind of animal in the whole world... 322 00:20:15,914 --> 00:20:18,678 what animal would you be? 323 00:20:18,784 --> 00:20:21,218 A dog. I think I'd be a dog. 324 00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:25,188 - How come? - 'Cause I like living inside and sitting on couches. 325 00:20:25,290 --> 00:20:28,088 Most people let their dogs live inside and sit on couches. 326 00:20:28,193 --> 00:20:33,062 How about a cat? People let their cats live inside and sit on couches. 327 00:20:33,165 --> 00:20:36,566 I'm allergic to cats. I wouldn't wanna go around making myself sneeze. 328 00:20:36,668 --> 00:20:38,602 Yeah. 329 00:20:38,704 --> 00:20:42,800 Why, what kind of animal would you be if you could be any animal in the whole world? 330 00:20:42,908 --> 00:20:47,072 I was gonna say monkey, but you make a good point about the couch. 331 00:21:00,058 --> 00:21:02,458 - Good night. - Good night. 0 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net