1 00:00:02,102 --> 00:00:05,367 You know the kind of guy who does nothing but bad things... 2 00:00:05,472 --> 00:00:07,406 and then wonders why his life sucks? 3 00:00:09,275 --> 00:00:11,743 Well, that was me. Every time somethin' good happened to me... 4 00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:14,313 somethin' bad was always waitin' around the corner. 5 00:00:16,483 --> 00:00:17,780 Karma. 6 00:00:17,884 --> 00:00:20,182 That's when I realized I had to change. 7 00:00:21,621 --> 00:00:24,089 So I made a list of everything bad I've ever done... 8 00:00:24,190 --> 00:00:27,159 and, one by one, I'm gonna make up for all my mistakes. 9 00:00:27,260 --> 00:00:29,228 I'm just tryin'to be a better person. 10 00:00:29,329 --> 00:00:31,889 My name is Earl. 11 00:00:31,998 --> 00:00:36,025 [ Earl Narrating ] Ever since my divorce, winning $ 100,000 in the lottery... 12 00:00:36,136 --> 00:00:38,604 and discovering the concept ofkarma... 13 00:00:38,705 --> 00:00:40,673 I feel great. 14 00:00:44,544 --> 00:00:46,444 [ Beeping ] 15 00:00:48,181 --> 00:00:52,015 And the more bad things I cross off my list... 16 00:00:52,118 --> 00:00:54,484 the more karma rewards me. 17 00:00:57,390 --> 00:00:59,290 Clean livin'. 18 00:01:01,795 --> 00:01:04,423 Randy, there's something to be said about waking up... 19 00:01:04,531 --> 00:01:07,932 and feeling like a good person. 20 00:01:08,034 --> 00:01:10,434 "U-R an ass." 21 00:01:10,537 --> 00:01:12,562 What'd you say? 22 00:01:17,744 --> 00:01:19,769 Joy. 23 00:01:19,879 --> 00:01:22,871 Well, it wasn't me, although I do agree with your car- 24 00:01:22,982 --> 00:01:25,109 you are an ass. 25 00:01:25,218 --> 00:01:28,654 - [ Kids Laughing ] - Um, Joy? 26 00:01:28,755 --> 00:01:33,317 Fine! What are you gonna do, call the police? 27 00:01:33,426 --> 00:01:36,884 Please do. I'd like to discuss with them where you and your brother got that refrigerator. 28 00:01:36,996 --> 00:01:41,592 Hold it. Don't call the police. They still got my picture up over at the Circuit City. 29 00:01:41,701 --> 00:01:43,669 Look, just leave my stuff alone, okay? 30 00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:46,739 How 'bout you give me half that lotto money, and then maybe I'll leave you alone? 31 00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:49,809 You know I need that money so I can make up for the things on my list. 32 00:01:49,909 --> 00:01:52,207 You and your stupid list. What about your kids? 33 00:01:52,312 --> 00:01:54,507 You have a family to support. 34 00:01:56,583 --> 00:01:58,118 - Those aren't my kids, Joy. - That doesn't matter. 35 00:01:58,118 --> 00:01:59,176 - Those aren't my kids, Joy. - That doesn't matter. 36 00:01:59,285 --> 00:02:01,651 They have grown accustomed to a certain quality oflifestyle... 37 00:02:01,754 --> 00:02:04,052 that you provided for 'em with all your crookery. 38 00:02:04,157 --> 00:02:07,684 I tried to get their new daddy to fill your shoes, but Darnell is not cut out for crime. 39 00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:10,786 [ Video Game Beeping ] 40 00:02:13,733 --> 00:02:16,031 [ Gasps ] 41 00:02:20,540 --> 00:02:22,974 I'm sorry. I shouldn't of did that. 42 00:02:23,076 --> 00:02:26,102 That's okay. Are you hungry? 43 00:02:26,212 --> 00:02:30,342 I think I have a little candy bar in here. You want a little candy bar? 44 00:02:31,751 --> 00:02:35,187 Where's my grandfather's cuckoo clock? 45 00:02:35,288 --> 00:02:37,518 - I pawned it. - What? 46 00:02:37,624 --> 00:02:41,685 What do you think, cigarettes grow on trees? 47 00:02:41,895 --> 00:02:43,692 [ Earl Narrating ] Except for scoliosis... 48 00:02:43,796 --> 00:02:47,163 the only thing my grandfather passed down to me was that cuckoo clock. 49 00:02:47,267 --> 00:02:51,670 And I couldn't stand the thought of my family's only heirloom sittin'in a pawnshop. 50 00:02:51,771 --> 00:02:54,365 You sure you wanna get Grandpa's cuckoo clock back? 51 00:02:54,474 --> 00:02:56,499 That thing almost put my eye out. 52 00:02:56,609 --> 00:02:59,339 Well, you shouldn't have been so close. You knew what time it was. 53 00:02:59,445 --> 00:03:01,413 How much is it gonna cost? 54 00:03:01,514 --> 00:03:04,312 That's an awful lot of vending machine doughnuts you're holding there. 55 00:03:04,417 --> 00:03:06,385 I'm gettin' an extra hundred for Rosie. 56 00:03:06,486 --> 00:03:11,082 As long as we're here, I might as well cross number 58 off my list- 57 00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:14,820 -fixed a high school football game. - [ Whistle Blows ] 58 00:03:14,928 --> 00:03:17,055 - [ Crowd Cheering ] - Hut! 59 00:03:17,163 --> 00:03:19,358 [ Earl Narrating ] After sitting on the bench all year... 60 00:03:19,465 --> 00:03:24,266 the coach told Randy he was finally gonna get a chance to play. 61 00:03:24,370 --> 00:03:28,033 I saw this as an opportunity to make a bet with Rosie... 62 00:03:28,141 --> 00:03:30,109 our local bookie and pawnshop owner. 63 00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:33,043 I bet a hundred dollars on Randy's team... to lose. 64 00:03:33,146 --> 00:03:35,273 Good luck. 65 00:03:35,381 --> 00:03:38,578 Of course I didn't need luck. I had Randy. 66 00:03:38,685 --> 00:03:40,516 2-16! Hut! 67 00:03:42,355 --> 00:03:44,619 [ Crowd Booing ] 68 00:03:46,292 --> 00:03:48,954 [ Crowd Groaning ] 69 00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:51,895 Hut! 70 00:03:51,998 --> 00:03:54,364 [ Man ] Ah, you fool! What are you doing? 71 00:03:55,969 --> 00:03:59,530 - [ Jeering ] - Get out of here! Get out of here, you bum! 72 00:04:01,174 --> 00:04:05,270 I can't wait to see Rosie's face when I pay her back. 73 00:04:06,613 --> 00:04:09,411 You disgust me, Earl Hickey. Fixin' a game. 74 00:04:09,515 --> 00:04:14,111 I should pull you through this talkin' hole and stomp on your sweaty little tea bag. 75 00:04:21,527 --> 00:04:23,791 What's up, Rosie? How you been? 76 00:04:25,498 --> 00:04:28,899 You had one chance to feel what it was like to score a touchdown... 77 00:04:29,002 --> 00:04:33,701 and ya threw it all away just because your worthless brother asked you to. 78 00:04:33,806 --> 00:04:36,639 [ Earl Narrating ] That was true. 79 00:04:36,743 --> 00:04:38,677 [ Whistle Blows ] 80 00:04:38,778 --> 00:04:40,439 Hut! 81 00:04:42,915 --> 00:04:45,975 [ Man ] Run! Run! 82 00:04:48,621 --> 00:04:50,350 Block him! 83 00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:08,869 [ Groaning ] 84 00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:12,274 [ Earl Narrating ] Maybe I didn't just cheat the bookie. Maybe I cheated Randy too. 85 00:05:12,378 --> 00:05:15,142 I took away his one chance to score a touchdown. 86 00:05:15,248 --> 00:05:18,740 Randy, do you regret the fact that you never got to feel... 87 00:05:18,851 --> 00:05:21,615 what it's like to score a touchdown? 88 00:05:21,721 --> 00:05:25,088 Uh, I guess it would have been cool to get lifted up by people. 89 00:05:25,191 --> 00:05:29,890 I never been lifted up before. It looks fun. 90 00:05:29,996 --> 00:05:32,464 I think I have to put you on my list, Randy. 91 00:05:32,565 --> 00:05:35,363 I took away your touchdown. I gotta give it back. 92 00:05:35,468 --> 00:05:37,459 How in the world are you gonna do that? 93 00:05:37,570 --> 00:05:39,538 This may sound crazy... 94 00:05:39,639 --> 00:05:43,405 but I-I think you have to go back to high school. 95 00:05:43,509 --> 00:05:45,909 [ Cuckooing ] 96 00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:48,913 That was weird. 97 00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:52,473 [ Earl Narrating ] I needed to get Randy a fake birth certificate for high school. 98 00:05:52,585 --> 00:05:55,383 Luckily, that homosexual fellow I know works at a copy place. 99 00:05:55,488 --> 00:05:57,251 Thanks for doing this, Kenny. 100 00:05:57,357 --> 00:06:00,019 Are you kidding? Thank you for helping me out of the closet. 101 00:06:00,126 --> 00:06:02,686 I didn't realize there were other people like me. 102 00:06:02,795 --> 00:06:06,162 - I've worked with Bruce for years and didn't know. - Oh, yes, you will collate! 103 00:06:09,302 --> 00:06:11,600 Here you go. 104 00:06:11,704 --> 00:06:14,002 [ Earl Narrating ] The birth certificate looked great. 105 00:06:14,107 --> 00:06:17,474 All we needed was a fake father to sign the paperwork, and we were in. 106 00:06:17,577 --> 00:06:20,239 Transfer student, huh? 107 00:06:20,346 --> 00:06:23,406 [ Synthesized Voice ] I travel a lot for work. 108 00:06:23,516 --> 00:06:26,041 [ Earl Narrating ] With football season almost over... 109 00:06:26,152 --> 00:06:28,848 I wanted to make sure Randy got a chance to play... 110 00:06:28,955 --> 00:06:32,254 so I picked the school with the worst team in the league. 111 00:06:36,129 --> 00:06:38,222 [ Inhaler Squirting ] 112 00:06:50,743 --> 00:06:52,711 How was your first day at school? 113 00:06:52,812 --> 00:06:55,337 Great. I really enjoyed science class. 114 00:06:55,448 --> 00:06:58,474 Did you know that before we were humans, we were monkeys? 115 00:06:58,584 --> 00:07:01,417 Really? What were we before monkeys? 116 00:07:01,521 --> 00:07:05,321 I don't know. I can't even remember being a monkey. 117 00:07:07,693 --> 00:07:09,661 - Where's my car? - What? 118 00:07:09,762 --> 00:07:12,890 I parked my car right here. 119 00:07:12,999 --> 00:07:15,331 Someone stole my car. 120 00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:18,927 My money. My money was in the car. Randy, my money was in the car. 121 00:07:19,038 --> 00:07:21,006 Who'd wanna steal your car? 122 00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:24,838 It's a piece of crap with "asstronaut" painted on the side. 123 00:07:27,914 --> 00:07:29,814 Joy. 124 00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:41,488 - Where is it, Joy? - Why don't you ask the guys down at Impound? 125 00:07:41,594 --> 00:07:43,425 You had my car towed? 126 00:07:43,529 --> 00:07:47,226 Yup. Maybe if you gave me some of that lotto money, I'd find better things to do. 127 00:07:47,333 --> 00:07:50,029 [ Earl Narrating ] It was at that point I realized Joy had no idea... 128 00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:53,003 that my money was actually in the car. 129 00:07:53,105 --> 00:07:56,336 Hey, Earl.Joy had no idea that your lotto money was in your car. 130 00:08:09,889 --> 00:08:13,290 Ow! Oh! [ Hisses ] 131 00:08:13,392 --> 00:08:17,123 I busted open my rug burn. 132 00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:19,425 [ Earl Narrating ] Joy's fall bought us a little time... 133 00:08:19,532 --> 00:08:21,966 but getting the car wasn't gonna be easy. 134 00:08:22,068 --> 00:08:24,798 It seems I owed some money on unpaid parking tickets. 135 00:08:24,904 --> 00:08:27,668 - $3,000? - That's what I said. 136 00:08:29,442 --> 00:08:32,673 [ Earl Narrating ] I knew I could pay him if I could just get to the car... 137 00:08:32,778 --> 00:08:36,509 but these aren't the kind of guys you wanna let know you have change in your ashtray... 138 00:08:36,616 --> 00:08:39,244 much less $ 100,000 under your front seat. 139 00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:42,014 What's up with the football? 140 00:08:42,121 --> 00:08:45,579 I play for Northwestern High. I'm gonna score a touchdown. 141 00:08:45,691 --> 00:08:48,683 Northwestern High? What are you, in the 17th grade? 142 00:08:48,794 --> 00:08:51,888 Excuse me, sir. I'm here to pick up my car. 143 00:08:51,998 --> 00:08:55,991 - Nope! It's not her car. That's my car. - My name's on the title too. 144 00:08:56,102 --> 00:08:58,593 I don't give a rat's aspirin bottle whose damn car it is. 145 00:08:58,704 --> 00:09:02,196 I'm gonna give it to whoever gives me $3,000. 146 00:09:02,308 --> 00:09:05,243 Sir, can I have this magazine for a collage? 147 00:09:05,344 --> 00:09:07,812 One of the cheerleaders was out sick today... 148 00:09:07,914 --> 00:09:09,882 and we're gonna decorate her locker. 149 00:09:09,982 --> 00:09:12,473 [ Earl Narrating ] I knew neither Joy or I would be able... 150 00:09:12,585 --> 00:09:15,554 to come up with $3,000 without selling a kidney... 151 00:09:15,655 --> 00:09:18,783 so I concentrated my efforts on somehow getting to the car. 152 00:09:18,891 --> 00:09:20,791 I don't know, Earl. 153 00:09:20,893 --> 00:09:23,418 Maybe we should think of another way. I mean, electricity hurts. 154 00:09:23,529 --> 00:09:27,192 I used to sneak my car out of here all the time. They only turn this thing on at night. 155 00:09:32,905 --> 00:09:34,805 See? 156 00:09:34,907 --> 00:09:37,637 Come on. Let's get that money. 157 00:09:43,215 --> 00:09:45,080 Wait for it. 158 00:09:48,020 --> 00:09:50,045 - Now. - [ Screams ] 159 00:09:50,156 --> 00:09:53,557 - [ Thudding ] - [ Earl Narrating ] While I was busy trying to get to my car... 160 00:09:53,659 --> 00:09:55,991 Joy was trying to get a loan for $3,000. 161 00:09:57,830 --> 00:10:01,823 - Hey, baby. - Darnell, what are you doing in here? 162 00:10:01,934 --> 00:10:05,131 - I told you to wait in the car. - It's hot out there. 163 00:10:05,237 --> 00:10:07,262 Baby, I'm trying to get a loan here, okay? 164 00:10:07,373 --> 00:10:09,341 Look, you know I don't see color... 165 00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:12,138 but these people are never gonna give me $3,000... 166 00:10:12,244 --> 00:10:15,839 if they see me here with a black man, okay? 167 00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:19,941 Darnell, it's not me! It's America. I don't make the rules. 168 00:10:29,362 --> 00:10:31,922 So, they tell me you're looking for a loan. 169 00:10:32,031 --> 00:10:36,491 Yeah. You know what? I left something in the car. I'll be right back. 170 00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:42,536 We really only need the money for, like, an hour or two. 171 00:10:43,976 --> 00:10:46,809 [ Whispers ] Say somethin' black. 172 00:10:46,912 --> 00:10:49,710 [ Earl Narrating ]Joy didn't realize that it doesn't matter if you're black or white. 173 00:10:49,815 --> 00:10:53,148 You can't borrow money against a rented 1972 trailer... 174 00:10:53,252 --> 00:10:55,447 with a documented carbon monoxide leak. 175 00:10:55,554 --> 00:10:58,114 I'm sorry. 176 00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:06,465 - Nice pull, brother. - Right on. 177 00:11:09,568 --> 00:11:12,867 Hey, Earl? I need $20 to enter the science fair. 178 00:11:12,972 --> 00:11:15,031 Randy, all my money's in the car. 179 00:11:15,141 --> 00:11:18,008 Besides, you're going to high school to score a touchdown... 180 00:11:18,110 --> 00:11:20,578 not decorate lockers and enter the science fair. 181 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:23,376 Come on. It's only $20. 182 00:11:23,482 --> 00:11:25,950 He's already growing his potato. 183 00:11:27,153 --> 00:11:29,713 Just put the books down and help me think. 184 00:11:29,822 --> 00:11:33,383 If we don't figure out a way to break into the impound yard and get my money... 185 00:11:33,492 --> 00:11:35,221 we're gonna have to eat that potato. 186 00:11:35,327 --> 00:11:38,421 Oh, hey, Earl. How about this? 187 00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:40,931 It's called a Trojan horse. 188 00:11:41,033 --> 00:11:44,594 [ Earl Narrating ] And there it was- a great idea that we never would have found... 189 00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:47,400 if I hadn't made Randy go back to high school. 190 00:11:48,741 --> 00:11:50,709 Karma strikes again. 191 00:11:50,876 --> 00:11:53,902 [ Earl Narrating ] Instead of a wooden horse, I was gonna use a car. 192 00:11:54,013 --> 00:11:57,710 I called the only guy I knew that had one that actually worked- Kenny. 193 00:11:57,817 --> 00:12:01,344 I'll just hide in the trunk, and you park the car in front of a hydrant. 194 00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:04,082 Once I'm towed into the impound, I'll hop out, get my money... 195 00:12:04,190 --> 00:12:06,886 head on over to the high school and watch Randy score a touchdown. 196 00:12:06,992 --> 00:12:08,960 Sounds like a solid plan, Earl. 197 00:12:09,061 --> 00:12:11,529 [ Earl Narrating ] Kenny's a good guy, but, to be honest... 198 00:12:11,630 --> 00:12:13,894 his friend made me a little uncomfortable. 199 00:12:13,999 --> 00:12:16,763 This is so exciting! 200 00:12:19,138 --> 00:12:21,368 Let me just get in the car. 201 00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:35,554 Damn. I'm too big. 202 00:12:35,654 --> 00:12:37,952 - I'll do it. - Really? 203 00:12:38,057 --> 00:12:41,390 After everything you've done for me, it's the least I can do. 204 00:12:41,494 --> 00:12:44,258 Wow. Thanks, Kenny. Are you sure you can fit in the trunk? 205 00:12:44,363 --> 00:12:46,331 I've seen him fit into a trunk. 206 00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:48,423 - [ Giggling ] Stop it. - You stop it. 207 00:12:48,534 --> 00:12:50,001 - You stop it. - You stop it! 208 00:12:50,102 --> 00:12:52,002 - You stop it! - You stop it! 209 00:12:52,104 --> 00:12:56,131 Why don't we all stop it, okay? Let's shut down the horseplay. 210 00:12:58,878 --> 00:13:02,336 All right. All right. Once the car is in the impound, hop out, get my money... 211 00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:04,973 and meet me at the football game. 212 00:13:05,084 --> 00:13:08,178 [ Earl Narrating ] While I was trying to get the car... 213 00:13:08,287 --> 00:13:10,812 Randy was getting psyched. 214 00:13:10,923 --> 00:13:13,949 - Are you ready? - I'm ready. Are you ready? 215 00:13:14,059 --> 00:13:16,527 I'm ready. You ready? 216 00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:18,927 - I'm ready! Are you ready? - Ow. 217 00:13:19,031 --> 00:13:20,623 [ Whimpers ] 218 00:13:20,733 --> 00:13:23,702 [ Earl Narrating ] While Randy was getting psyched... 219 00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:27,261 Joy was still trying to get her hands on $3,000. 220 00:13:29,542 --> 00:13:32,773 I sold almost everything we own, and all I got was $1 ,500. 221 00:13:32,878 --> 00:13:36,780 - That's not enough. - I don't know where we're gonna get all this money from. 222 00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:43,713 Watch my back. 223 00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:56,567 [ Mouthing Words ] 224 00:13:58,304 --> 00:14:01,501 [ Earl Narrating ] As for my plan, the Trojan horse was on its way. 225 00:14:01,607 --> 00:14:04,440 Only, instead of a horse stuffed with a bunch of Greeks... 226 00:14:04,543 --> 00:14:08,411 we had a Le Car stuffed with one tiny gay. 227 00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:10,982 Which meant I was free to enjoy the game. 228 00:14:11,083 --> 00:14:14,746 And I wanted Randy to have a lot of support, so Catalina came too. 229 00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:17,049 I even invited his fake dad. 230 00:14:17,156 --> 00:14:20,887 [ Synthesized Voice ] Push 'em back. Push 'em back. Way back! 231 00:14:30,336 --> 00:14:32,736 You can stop now. 232 00:14:32,838 --> 00:14:36,103 Stupid guy at the recycle center only gave me eight dollars... 233 00:14:36,208 --> 00:14:38,768 for that whole cart full of cans. 234 00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:41,745 - We'll never make enough money this way. - You think? 235 00:14:41,847 --> 00:14:44,680 These cans are just too damn small. 236 00:14:44,783 --> 00:14:47,115 They pay by the pound. We need heavier cans. 237 00:14:50,656 --> 00:14:53,181 Hey, what is this thingy made out of? 238 00:15:06,071 --> 00:15:10,633 [ Grunts, Groans ] 239 00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:13,712 [ Earl Narrating ] Randy was having more trouble on the field than I had anticipated. 240 00:15:13,812 --> 00:15:16,372 I think all those years of sleeping all day and drinking all night... 241 00:15:16,482 --> 00:15:18,450 had caught up with him. 242 00:15:20,419 --> 00:15:22,353 He looks wobbly. 243 00:15:22,454 --> 00:15:25,321 Keep your chin up, Randy! You can do this! 244 00:15:25,424 --> 00:15:28,450 I need you to score, buddy. 245 00:15:35,034 --> 00:15:37,594 Where the hell is Kenny? 246 00:15:37,703 --> 00:15:39,830 [ Barking, Snarling ] 247 00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:42,407 - [ Earl Narrating ] Unfortunately for Kenny- - [ Gasps ] Help! 248 00:15:42,508 --> 00:15:44,499 - the aftershave he was wearing attracted Dobermans. - Help! 249 00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:47,602 [ Announcer ] With 12 seconds left on the clock here in the fourth quarter... 250 00:15:47,713 --> 00:15:50,477 beside this run, the Rockets- 251 00:15:50,582 --> 00:15:52,675 This is his last chance to score. 252 00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:56,983 Give me the ball. I'll get it in the end zone. I have to. Ready? 253 00:15:57,089 --> 00:15:59,148 [ All ] Break! 254 00:15:59,258 --> 00:16:00,919 Come on, Randy! 255 00:16:04,563 --> 00:16:07,964 On three. Hut, hut! Go! 256 00:16:30,089 --> 00:16:32,887 [ Crowd Groaning ] 257 00:16:34,393 --> 00:16:36,987 - [ Horn Blows ] - [ Man Shouting ] 258 00:16:39,965 --> 00:16:42,456 [ Man ] What are you doing? 259 00:16:58,384 --> 00:17:01,444 [ Earl Narrating ] I felt horrible. I had set Randy up to fail. 260 00:17:01,553 --> 00:17:04,579 I felt like I took away his touchdown all over again. 261 00:17:04,690 --> 00:17:09,320 I can't find him anywhere. He must have been so upset, he walked home. 262 00:17:09,428 --> 00:17:13,262 - [ Horn Honking ] - Hey, Earl Hickey! 263 00:17:13,365 --> 00:17:17,165 I raised the $3,000. Where's your karma now, dummy? 264 00:17:18,670 --> 00:17:22,697 - Hey, Earl. - Hey, Crab Man. 265 00:17:22,808 --> 00:17:24,605 [ Tires Screeching ] 266 00:17:27,513 --> 00:17:31,472 [ Earl Narrating ] I knew as soon as Joy got to that impound yard, my life would be ruined. 267 00:17:31,583 --> 00:17:34,211 Without my hundred grand, I'd have to get a job... 268 00:17:34,319 --> 00:17:37,288 and I wouldn't have time to cross things off my list. 269 00:17:37,389 --> 00:17:40,017 So, I started running. 270 00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:46,122 And I ran as fast as I could... 271 00:17:46,231 --> 00:17:48,199 for as long as I could. 272 00:17:53,338 --> 00:17:56,739 But eventually, all those years of sleeping all day and drinking all night... 273 00:17:56,842 --> 00:17:58,810 caught up with me. 274 00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:06,146 The men in your family don't work out a lot, do they? 275 00:18:06,251 --> 00:18:10,312 We never got caught up in the whole physical fitness craze, no. 276 00:18:10,422 --> 00:18:13,448 [ Earl Narrating ] It was bad enough that Joy was on her way to steal my money... 277 00:18:13,559 --> 00:18:17,461 but I was also starting to regret wearing flannel boxers on such a hot day. 278 00:18:17,563 --> 00:18:20,794 I can't believe all my money's gonna be gone. My life is over. 279 00:18:20,899 --> 00:18:23,390 Where I grew up, we have these things called banks. 280 00:18:23,502 --> 00:18:25,470 [ Horn Honking ] 281 00:18:29,341 --> 00:18:31,309 You two need a ride? 282 00:18:31,410 --> 00:18:35,073 What the hell are you doing? How'd you get my car? 283 00:18:36,448 --> 00:18:39,815 - I paid the $3,000 to get it out. - What? How? 284 00:18:39,918 --> 00:18:42,580 Ifixed the game again. I fumbled that ball on purpose. 285 00:18:42,688 --> 00:18:45,657 And this time, instead of betting a hundred dollars, I bet 3,000. 286 00:18:45,757 --> 00:18:48,749 So you were just faking it when you looked so tired on the field? 287 00:18:48,861 --> 00:18:51,091 No, that was real. I threw up four times. 288 00:18:51,196 --> 00:18:53,096 Wait. Why didn't you tell me about this? 289 00:18:53,198 --> 00:18:56,599 'Cause I knew you and your karma list wouldn't let me do it. 290 00:18:56,702 --> 00:18:59,535 What's the matter? Aren't you happy? 291 00:18:59,638 --> 00:19:02,801 No, I'm happy. I'm happy I got the money back, but I did it again. 292 00:19:02,908 --> 00:19:06,275 I forced him to give up his touchdown. I can't cross it off the list. 293 00:19:06,378 --> 00:19:08,175 Earl, you didn't make me do this. 294 00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:11,249 I did it because you're my brother and I wanted to. 295 00:19:11,350 --> 00:19:13,784 I can make my own decisions. I'm not an idiot. 296 00:19:13,886 --> 00:19:16,787 But don't you wanna know what it feels like to score a touchdown? 297 00:19:16,889 --> 00:19:19,414 I'm pretty sure it's about the same feeling I got... 298 00:19:19,525 --> 00:19:22,983 when I drove up and saw the smile on your face. 299 00:19:23,095 --> 00:19:25,996 Well, there's only one thing left to do. 300 00:19:26,098 --> 00:19:28,396 Catalina. 301 00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:32,163 - [ Chuckling ] Whoo-hoo! - Put me down. 302 00:19:32,271 --> 00:19:34,239 I don't like it! I don't like it! 303 00:19:34,339 --> 00:19:37,308 [ Earl Narrating ] First thing we did the next day was pay Rosie back... 304 00:19:37,409 --> 00:19:39,741 the three grand we won by fixing the game. 305 00:19:39,845 --> 00:19:43,076 Needless to say, she wasn't too happy about it. 306 00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:45,241 You're pathetic, Earl Hickey! 307 00:19:45,350 --> 00:19:47,079 [ Earl Narrating ] As for Kenny... 308 00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:50,087 he eventually made enough noise that someone came and rescued him. 309 00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:55,183 As it turned out, his Drakkar Noir attracted more than just the dogs. 310 00:19:55,294 --> 00:19:57,762 Kenny told me later that he and his new friend... 311 00:19:57,863 --> 00:20:00,525 spent a lovely weekend together in wine country. 312 00:20:00,632 --> 00:20:03,931 I was just glad to hear Bruce was no longer in the picture. 313 00:20:05,604 --> 00:20:07,936 And now that I had my money back... 314 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:11,942 I was able to give Randy 20 bucks to round out his high school experience. 315 00:20:22,020 --> 00:20:25,080 "Participant." Nice. 316 00:20:26,491 --> 00:20:29,392 [ Earl Narrating ] As for Joy, what happened to her? 317 00:20:29,494 --> 00:20:32,190 - That's the best part of the whole story. - I'm so excited! 318 00:20:32,297 --> 00:20:35,596 Sniff this. We're gonna be rich. [ Laughing ] 319 00:20:35,701 --> 00:20:38,693 - [ Gasps ] - [ Tires Screeching ] 320 00:20:38,804 --> 00:20:41,898 [ Crashing ] 321 00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:52,216 [ Angry Grunting ] 322 00:20:52,317 --> 00:20:54,911 How am I gonna get the car out right now? 323 00:20:55,020 --> 00:20:56,988 Darnell, how am I supposed to get the car out? 324 00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:59,353 [ Earl Narrating ] Karma. You gotta love it. 0 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net