Lee, Lee, Don doesn't think there's a problem.
Lee, those restrictions aren't going to affect lucky strike.
Besides, Lee, your lawyers came up with them.
"No more smoking teenagers," we complied a year ago.
"No more famous athletes"
and we have to stop using certain angles.
Low angles, wide lenses,
anything that makes the smoker appear superhuman.
Why is this empty?
Because you drank it all.
- He can't hear you. - There's kind of a loophole
because even without athletes you can still use sports.
Bowling, for example, seems a natural fit.
Bowling is a sport, Lee.
How about horse-racing?
Lee, Lee, the jockey smokes the cigarette.
Did either of you ladies bring any ice with you?
We're sorting out the focus group for pond's and I haven't gotten the hypothesis,
in writing anyway.
He said, "Don."
We'll do our best. Peggy, write it up.
You haven't okayed the brief.
I liked your idea. I liked it a lot.
The mirror one or the cleansing one?
What's the mirror one?
Well, I think it's about the ritual, the multiple applications, indulgence.
Pond's is the only cold cream that allows me
to stare at myself in the mirror for 20 minutes
and feel good and not vain.
That's very good.
So, we're talking about girls, 18 to 25.
Can I grab a few from around here?
Yeah, help yourself.
See, I would never buy a sailboat.
I don't want to do things myself.
For that price, that boat should have a motor.
A what?
- One of those, too. - Anything else?
I don't know. Why don't you ask Don about that?
I have to go to the little boys' room.
I'm sorry, Lee, can you go through that one more time?
That's the lucky strike call? Why wasn't I told?
Be happy. I saved you an ass-ache.
So what's so bad he couldn't tell me?
Cal Rutledge from chesebrough-pond's has a wild hair about clearasil.
He thinks they're in conflict.
Pimple cream and cold cream?
A rather broad definition.
Does it matter?
Look, Pete, we're going to have to resign the clearasil account.
It can't be up for debate.
Clearasil is worth $1.25 million in billings, and pond's over two.
You know what it took to get my father-in-law
to join this new firm to begin with?
Fifteen percent of $750,000 is near $113,000.
Roger, I don't expect him to understand this,
but do you have any idea of what I've had to do to keep that account?
The personal toll I've paid?
I do, but you've been good to him, remember that, sales-wise.
- Mr. Sterling? - I don't believe this.
- Roger. - Throw yourself on a grenade.
Protect the agency. You're a partner now.
This evening if you can.
Over half this agency is dedicated to your needs,
but if you want to get into the line-by-line
of the costs we've billed for,
I'll have Lane pryce at the foot of your bed in 20 minutes.
Oh, my god, there's some kind of fire.
Right down by radio city.
Roger, we should go. Sorry, Lee.
We gotta go. Okay, bye-bye.
Should I type all this up?
Yes. And remind me to remind Caroline to tell Lane
that lucky strike noticed that they're being billed
for all the work we do for everybody else at this agency.
You know what? I don't want that on paper.
- Who is that? - A dear friend.
Is that the letter from California?
Yes.
- I hate this office. - You wanted to be close to Roger.
Make yourself at home, why don't you?
Did you see Sunday's paper?
If this is about the playtex ad they keep complaining about,
I've been told the printer swapped paper stocks.
And I don't care if she looks like a puerto rican.
Puerto rican girls buy brassieres.
Not that they need to.
I saw this one on the subway in one of those striped Jean seberg shirts,
red rag in her hair, nipples...
I'm not in the mood. What do you want?
- Cosgrove's getting married. - So?
He took us to the opera last month, great seats, and now I know why.
It turns out her father shits gold ingots.
What does he do?
Cfo of coming.
My father-in-law's a bus driver.
The only place he can take me is to the moon.
Ken's the competition. Why are you going to the opera with him?
Geyer is twice our size, and we're friends, aren't we?
Friends.
Why are you always looking for a job?
What?
Look, Pete.
There's a group of us, we're all coming up together.
You don't think Kenny's a comer?
You know he has mountain dew? That's Pepsi.
We're having lunch tomorrow. Tag along. He always asks about you.
Of course he does.
Worst case, Kenny'ii brag too much and you can steal a client from him.
Hello.
I'm sorry. That looks like bad news.
It's not mine. I'm Joyce. I work at life, assistant photo editor.
Peggy Olson, sterling Cooper draper pryce, copywriter.
Really?
Life magazine, I love the photos.
Well, you'll never see these.
I have to admit I'd be shocked.
He's my friend, and my boss hates nudes.
Who hates nudes?
That's a beautiful one.
I'm going to the mailroom. Peggy, right? 37th floor?
Tom, you're 15 minutes early.
So are you. Sit down.
We can eat anytime or not at all.
Excuse me. Dewar's on the rocks.
What's so important?
Tom, how are you feeling?
Couldn't be better.
I hope you know I've always done my best to make you happy.
I do.
And there's no reason, as far as I'm concerned,
that there should be any change in the way that we deal with each other.
Tom, I...
This is very hard for me to say.
I honestly don't know how you're going to take this
and it's been very hard to separate
our business relationship from the rest of our life,
but they should be separate.
You are some kind of high wasp, all right.
- Look, I can't keep this up. - Keep what up?
I heard.
You know?
You crazy kid.
What are you talking about?
Jeannie was with Trudy at the doctor. Congratulations!
What?
Oh, shit.
Jesus, Mary and Joseph.
It was Monday, for crying out loud. Why hasn't she told you?
I don't know.
Well, it may be her news, but it is good news.
You can't tell her that I told you. You can't.
I'm going to be a father?
Can you believe it?
- I'm going to be a father. - Yeah.
I feel like my heart's going to burst.
Champagne right here. Bring a bottle. We're going to tie one on.
If it's a boy, it's $1,000, a girl, $500.
I'll do what I can do.
You really can't tell Trudy.
I don't know how I let the cat out of the bag.
I thought you knew what I was talking about.
- What did you think I was talking about? - What?
Why did you have to see me?
I just wanted to...
We're putting new creative on clearasil.
Fine. Who cares?
May you know this feeling many times.
I only had the one,
and I love her to death, but I wish we'd had more.
Jeannie had her uterus removed, some kind of a cyst or something.
Trudy!
I'm sick, Peter. I'm so sick about this.
Daddyjust called me from a pay phone, drunk and in tears.
I know what you think. I just wanted to wait fill our anniversary to tell you.
I don't care, Trudy.
I don't care how I heard.
Peter.
How did this happen? What did the doctor say?
He said I was going to have a baby.
I want to pick you up and spin you around,
but I don't want to damage anything in there.
I'm so happy you're happy.
I don't know. It feels much different than I expected.
How would you know what this feels like?
Come, get off your feet.
How are you feeling?
Tell me you'll forgive my father.
They already think you hate them and honestly, it's my fault.
I don't hate them.
I shouldn't have taken my mother to the doctor, not that doctor.
It's just... I thought something was going on,
and I was so prepared to be disappointed
or that, god forbid, something was really wrong.
Trudy, I had to talk to him because the agency has to drop clearasil.
- Why? - There's another product that's similar,
- and we can't... - A conflict.
Peter, I'm familiar with the term. You use it all the time.
I invited him there and his good news trumped my bad news.
And the funny thing is, that was the moment to tell him.
I was so bowled over.
We did it.
Why don't you let my father hear this from me?
He's already so guilty, he'll never feel the knife go in.
I can't let you do that.
But I'm the one who talked him into returning to the agency to begin with.
- We needed him. - And now you don't.
He'll be fine. Tomorrow night.
Yankee pot roast.
Let's go. Caroline will be watching your desk.
Why don't you have to do this?
You don't have to do this. You're getting paid.
We're old and we're married. They don't want us.
But I use pond's. I do.
Come on.
Girls, find your places. Megan, help me with the curtains.
No matter how late I come, I'm always waiting for someone.
I had to wait until the girls left the ladies' room to change.
You could've used my office, but I don't have one.
- This isn't right. - I thought you wanted Faye, not Dr. Miller.
Yes, but I told someone to leave the "e" off of Faye.
I like to be able to correct it in front of the girls. It makes them trust me.
Because your name is spelled wrong?
Because I'm obviously not that important. I don't need it.
I have to warn you there's lots of perfume.
There always is.
Why everyone has a nifty name tag.
Very well then. I suppose I'll work in Mr. Sterling's office.
He won't be coming.
As I said, my name is Faye.
I don't have a name tag.
I guess they forgot about me.
They got mine wrong. I'm dotty.
I mean I'm not a dotty person. That's my name.
Hello, dotty.
So, there's no reason to be anxious.
We have to enjoy the fact that we're all getting paid not to work for a little bit.
But don't worry, that's our little secret.
And I'd like you to think that this is just a bunch of your friends,
as if maybe this is a sorority or a bridal shower with tea.
Or just a bunch of us celebrating, say, Allison's birthday at my apartment.
You shouldn't be surprised, looking around the room,
that we're here to talk about beauty.
What are the things we all do to keep ourseres beautiful
or simply to enhance it?
Please pass a Danish.
You don't have to raise your hand. Anyone?
I can say it.
I have a routine.
I brush my hair 100 times just like I did when I was a little girl,
but of course only the night before I have it set.
- Very cute. - Can you imagine?
Your financial future's in the hands of a roomful of 22-year-old girls.
Not mine.
Okay. Sometimes iwatch my weight.
No one's hungry?
I'd like a Danish.
I don't use pond's, if that's what you're asking.
That's okay.
I'm of French extraction and my mother has beautiful skin.
She never washes her face.
She's not dirty. She uses water, but nothing else.
And you do what she does?
What does she do?
She stands at the sink
and she runs the water until it's just the perfect temperature, not too hot.
And she splashes it on her face and she pats her cheeks with her fingertips.
And she looks at herself?
Yes, she does.
She's amazing.
I sit at my vanity and I have this night cream, my boyfriend laughed at me.
What was so funny about it?
It was just, you know, one time.
At Christmas Eve we were staying up late and we were playing house, I guess.
You shouldn't do things for them. They don't appreciate it.
You don't think they appreciate you being beautiful?
We broke up a year ago.
Actually, I don't know what he noticed, but it wasn't me, I guess.
It's worse when they notice, sometimes.
Allison, please, continue.
It's nothing.
- Are you in there? - Yes.
I asked your girl to inform me of your arrival.
She's in that group.
Did you speak with Tom?
I'm sorry. It didn't happen. The opportunity passed.
Well, then we shall endeavor to recreate it. Perhaps lunch today?
I'm afraid Roger's already informed pond's that this was attended to.
That's sloppy.
I have a lunch, but I'm seeing him tonight.
Damn it.
Lane.
I just found out I'm going to be a father.
Well, now, that should take the sting out of all of this.
Isuppose.
I apologize.
That's the very best news.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
And I just kept thinking, "why does he stare at other girls?"
Well, men do that, but does he look at me that way?
And we're not married, so who am I?
How the hell did this get so sad so fast?
I know I'm speaking for everyone here.
But you can't think it has anything to do with how you look, dotty.
You can only do your best with what god gave you.
What about makeup?
I feel like it doesn't matter what I see.
It matters what he sees.
I feel like I gave him everything and I got nothing.
I could see she was gonna crack.
Allison?
Are you all right, dear?
- It's okay. She'll be all right. - Should I...
If she wanted to be around us, she would've stayed.
Sarah, what do you do that makes you feel good about the way you look?
I feel kind of responsible. Do you mind?
Is there any kind of ritual?
I think my strategy was right.
They just wanna get married and they'll buy anything that'll help.
- Are you all right? - It's you.
Come with me.
People cry in these things all the time. Grown men.
I was in a bunch when I first started working here.
I'd say half the time somebody cries.
Really?
I think it just feels good to talk.
I can't even say anything because I know he's right out there,
right through the glass.
Who?
I don't know how you stand it.
The way he turns on the charm one minute and then yanks it away.
How can you even talk to him?
Don?
Would you stop it?
I realize you must've gone through everything I've gone through.
But now I know. It's just, he's a drunk.
And they get away with murder because they forget everything.
I don't know what you think.
Forget it.
Your problem is not my problem.
- Fine. - And honestly, you should get over it.
Please leave me alone.
- Thank you. Nice to meet you, too. - Nice to meet you.
- B ye. - B ye.
- Did she go home? - No, she's fine.
Nothing else good happened.
- Bye, now. - Okay, great.
B ye-bye.
That went very well.
You can stop the tape.
Is she okay?
- Who? - Yeah, she's fine.
All right. Let's talk preliminary results.
Is it all right if we put this back the way it goes?
We can go to my office.
Let's go in there.
That's big, big news.
If you need any baby crap, Jen and I have a closetful.
- Hello, fellows. - Good to see you, Kenny.
- Pete. - How are you, Ken?
- Mr. Crane. - Over here, Gil.
There's a phone call for you.
I've gotta get this. Those goniffs at CBS are screwing me again.
- Those what? - Order for me, Caesar salad, no dressing.
- You wanna take a look? - Sure.
Listen, I've gotta get this out of the way.
But I would appreciate it for the future
if you would not say shitty things about me behind my back.
What?
Come on. Are you gonna deny it and make it worse?
I don't know what you've heard, but it's not true.
You didn't call me an all-American idiot who fell into everything?
Whom did I supposedly say this to?
Does it matter?
Well, I'd like to defend myself.
I heard that you told your wife that I was driving the tractor
when the accident happened.
What? I don't think so.
What I probably said was that you were involved,
we all were, and that it was your account.
And crane told me yesterday you said I was marrying for money.
I didn't say that. He did.
Well, he's like that, and everybody who knows him knows that.
But when you say it, and especially when it gets back to my fiancee,
Trudy knows her, you know, some garden club.
I was unaware of that.
Look, you know what?
I apologize. Mea culpa.
Textbook Harry.
You know what? He's buying lunch.
I don't really care. I'm just glad to be out of the office.
It is nice, especially without having to listen
to some client yammering about how dirty the city is.
How's it going?
I've been roating along laterally, but I don't know that it's a love affair.
- It's better than mccann. - What was that like?
Are you kidding me? It's the worst agency I've ever seen. The worst.
My mother was a nurse at the state hospital in Vermont
and that was the last time I saw so many retarded people in one building.
So, you're getting married. Congratulations.
It's all that really matters, right?
Actually, I have a bit of news of my own.
Trudy is with child.
Good for you. Good for you.
I'll be honest, I can't wait.
It's very good so far.
A new family, a new agency, has to be exciting.
Well, you know, wherever you do this job, you're doing this job.
I know you're all slaves to draper over there,
but I'd rather be a slave to creative than some old fart.
Whoever pours the last drink gets all the credit
and you're spinning your wheels half the time.
Right now we're chasing mountain dew.
Supposedly we're going to turn it into Pepsi,
but the only reason Pepsi would do it is to make bbdo sweat.
This whole idea that we'd get the bigger company is a joke.
We'd just end up with a bunch of little pieces.
Well, the grass is always greener.
Who am I kidding? Look how lucky we are.
Another Campbell, that's just what the world needs.
- Can I come in? - It's your office.
Glad to see you're feeling better.
If you don't feel like working...
What?
I'm very embarrassed.
People cry in those groups all the time, Allison.
That's not what I'm embarrassed about.
This actually happened.
I know.
We made a mistake
and I feel like it's awkward and it's better for both of us if I move on.
I don't think that's necessary. We're both adults.
No, I really would feel better about it.
A friend of mine told me about a job at a magazine
and I thought that might be interesting, working for a woman.
Anyway, I...
I would appreciate it if you could write me a recommendation.
Absolutely. What would probably be even better
is if you type up whatever you want and I'll sign it.
What?
You've been sparkling in your duties.
Just put it on my stationery, put whatever you want and I'll sign it.
I don't say this easily, but you're not a good person.
Allison, hold on.
What's going on?
I'm gonna need a new secretary. And this cleaned up.
Would you be open to Allison returning in a couple of days?
- If that's what she wants. - Really?
There's a Joyce ramsay to see you at reception.
So, at this point you've read everything out here?
I don't even like magazines,
but I brought in a book and they told me it didn't look right.
Do you want to come back and see my office?
Another time.
Listen, my friend the photographer, Mr. Reject, he's having a...
I don't even know what to call it, downtown.
Are you inviting me?
- Are you afraid of the subway? - Of course not.
Thanks, sweetheart.
Washington market,
unless you have to work or have plans that are more interesting.
It starts at 9:00. I'll be there at 10:00.
She's kind of pretentious.
I know.
Darling, we're so excited.
Is that you, Peter?
I'm gonna keep my mouth shut from now on.
Well, hello there.
- How are you feeling? - A little behind.
Why don't you let me fix my father and you a drink
and you can show my mother what we have planned for the maid's room.
I'll make the drinks. I don't care.
No, why don't you show your mother the maid's room?
I don't know that I'm an expert.
Okay.
Come along, mother.
We're a couple of lucky ducks, aren't we?
We are. Tom, let me ask you something.
- What are you having? - In a minute. Listen...
I know what you're gonna say.
You need a bigger apartment. I get it.
Every time you jump to conclusions, Tom, you make me respect you less.
- What? - Look.
You gave us clearasil and we're extremely grateful,
but there's only so much business it's going to do.
Yeah, well, that's kind of in your hands, isn't it?
I'm done auditioning.
You gave us this under a certain pretext.
I've done well by you.
And the idea was if we do well by this account,
you'll give us a shot at the big one,
because right now I have bigger business than clearasil.
Are you mad at me?
Clearasil was conflicted out by a bigger company,
and I'm trying to build a business here.
Well, what do you want? Do you want the cough syrup?
I want all of it.
I want the formula 44 mixture, the cough drops, the inhaler, vaporub.
Who's doing a betterjob for you than I have?
Well, you've given me something to think about.
Really?
I think it's pretty simple. What can I get you?
Trudy, do we have any ice?
You son of a bitch.
Tom, you have to come see this.
Joyce!
I made it.
You look swellegant.
Okay.
Peggy works in the same building.
Sharon was one of Davey's models.
What did your mother say?
She doesn't know.
What is that?
He screws around with movies, too. He's not as good at it.
I can't believe how big this place is.
I think it was a sweatshop.
Is there beer or something? I thought I saw someone with a beer.
Jesus. I thought I needed a lot of attention.
Listen, I'm already high, but this is easier than finding a beer.
If you like it.
I love it.
I'm hungry.
I have a boyfriend.
He doesn't own your vagina.
No, but he's renting it.
This film is more interesting than I thought.
- It's rhythmic. - Yeah.
I thought I was gonna get to meet him.
Where the hell's kellogg?
Hey, Abe. Are you with Joyce?
Are you?
- I'm Peggy. - Peggy's a writer.
So am I. What do you write?
I'm a copywriter.
But what do you write?
That is writing.
You're not working on something else?
Davey kellogg, this is Peggy Olson.
- She wanted to meet you. - I'm catholic.
So, you like it?
I don't think I'm supposed to.
I love your nudes. We're looking for photographers.
- I'm glad I was here to see this. - Who's "we"?
I work at sterling Cooper draper pryce. Advertising.
Why would I ever do that?
So you can get paid to practice your art.
Art in advertising?
Why would anyone do that after warhol?
Sorry, for somebody to sell their soul, they've got to have one.
It's a raid!
It's the NYPD.
Wait, wait.
- Hey, come on. Come on. - Nobody move!
You know, I've been arrested before.
For what?
I was writing about this boycott in Harlem and they wouldn't leave, so I didn't leave.
Wow! Did you go to jail?
My sister came and got me.
I feel like I should kiss you.
Come on.
They chased everybody down the fire escape.
Are they beating people?
They took the film.
I should see this. It could be a story.
- How can I find you? - I know where she is.
Nice to see you, Ms. Blankenship.
I look foward to hearing that every day.
There's coffee and a roll on your desk and Mr. Sterling would like to see you.
Roger, he's here.
Could you get the others?
Blankenship? Boy!
Hello? Could you fetch Campbell and pryce, Lane, misters.
What did you do to make them take her out of mothballs?
She was working in Cooper's apartment.
Allison found a better opportunity.
Do you know he works without pants?
- Morning, Don. - Don.
Morning.
I'd like to say in front of this informal partners meeting
that I am in the midst of signing vicks chemical, the entire cough line.
It bills at around $6 million and they love television.
It's truly spectacular news.
Congratulations. How'd you swing that?
I guess as the president would say, I turned chicken shit into chicken salad.
I thought I'd kick clearasil over to geyer.
Anyone but chaough.
We're taking Philip coakmeyer and Tom Vogel to luncheon today.
Don't worry, we already checked it with your girl.
- Keep it up. - Thank you, Don.
Please reschedule Dr. Miller.
They're not really pornography, per se. They're just nudes.
They're like renaissance paintings.
The party sounds fun. We had nude models in school.
You know right away whoever has the best drawing is going to get her.
Did you know Malcolm X was shot last Sunday?
Yes, Peggy.
Well, did you know who he was?
You ever read the stuff between the ads?
A few of us are sending a bottle of champagne to the Campbells'.
I'll sign the card.
- I was hoping for a contribution. - No, thank you.
Trudy's pregnant?
I can't believe that guy's married to her.
I would get her so pregnant.
Hello.
Congratulations.
Yes.
A $6 million account should shut Lane up for a while.
No, I mean about the baby.
Yes. I guess that's news.
I just wanted to let you know how happy I am for you both.
Thank you.
Dr. Miller is here to see you. It's a she.
Send her in.
- What do you want? - Nothing. I moved the meeting.
Your secretary said you needed to see me immediately.
We're still working things out.
Well, I've done everything but finish the report.
How'd we do?
Well, it turns out the hypothesis was rejected.
I'd recommend a strategy that links pond's cold cream to matrimony,
a veiled promise.
Hello, 1925.
I'm not gonna do that, so what are we gonna tell the client?
I can't change the truth.
How do you know that's the truth?
A new idea is something they don't know yet,
so of course it's not gonna come up as an option.
Put my campaign on TV for a year,
then hold your group again, maybe it'll show up.
Well, I tried everything. I said, "routine." I tried "ritual."
All they care about is a husband.
You were there. I'll show you the transcripts.
You can't tell how people are going to behave
based on how they have behaved.
Why are you being so hostile?
You think I've never had this argument before?
Because you go in there and you stick your finger in people's brains
and they just start talking... Just to be heard.
And you know what?
Not only does it have nothing to do with what I do, but it's nobody's business.
Well, you're the client.
That's right.
- Hello. - It's Joyce.
Lunch, five minutes.
Sure.
- Meet you in the lobby? - No, my friends want to see Megan.
- Pete, you remember Phil coakmeyer. - A pleasure to see you again.
Shall we?
We're just waiting on Don.
- You wanna join us? - I can't.
Did you get pears?
We'll discuss it inside.