1 00:00:10,611 --> 00:00:14,571 Captioning sponsored by FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY 2 00:00:14,615 --> 00:00:18,575 and 20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION 3 00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:35,496 y ahora, regressamos al Monsignor Martinez. 4 00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:37,767 El Acto Tres: Rescate. 5 00:00:37,804 --> 00:00:39,238 (people sobbing) 6 00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:45,069 Y hora, ustedes se pueden besar. 7 00:00:47,648 --> 00:00:49,344 (sobbing) 8 00:00:53,287 --> 00:00:55,847 Vaya con Dios. 9 00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:15,506 LUANNE: Even in a wedding dress 10 00:01:15,542 --> 00:01:18,341 Monsignor Martinez looks hot. 11 00:01:18,378 --> 00:01:21,177 Hmm, that is one sexy priest. 12 00:01:21,214 --> 00:01:23,445 MAN: Este sabado, Eduardo Felipe 13 00:01:23,483 --> 00:01:26,851 su mismo va a aparecer persona en Arlen, Texas. 14 00:01:26,887 --> 00:01:28,116 Oh, my God. 15 00:01:28,155 --> 00:01:30,624 The actor who plays Monsignor Martinez... 16 00:01:30,657 --> 00:01:32,888 Eduardo Filipe... is coming to Arlen. 17 00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:34,189 We have to go, sugs. 18 00:01:34,227 --> 00:01:36,492 I bet he's even swarthier in person. 19 00:01:36,530 --> 00:01:38,931 I have been using videotapes of the show 20 00:01:38,966 --> 00:01:41,333 as a teaching tool in my Spanish class. 21 00:01:41,368 --> 00:01:43,633 I bet I could get the actor to show up 22 00:01:43,670 --> 00:01:45,104 and be a guest speaker. 23 00:01:45,138 --> 00:01:47,937 I would to see the full-time teacher Mrs. Pratt, 24 00:01:47,975 --> 00:01:49,671 try to follow me after that. 25 00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:53,112 I am very excited to be in... 26 00:01:53,146 --> 00:01:56,241 Ar... len, to promote the new episodes 27 00:01:56,283 --> 00:01:57,945 of my show. 28 00:01:57,985 --> 00:01:59,681 This will be our 11th season. 29 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:02,485 I can't believe it's really him. 30 00:02:03,890 --> 00:02:06,621 Hey, could you say, "Vay con Dios" for me? 31 00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:08,151 (groans): Next. 32 00:02:08,195 --> 00:02:09,959 Hola, my name is Peggy Hill, 33 00:02:09,997 --> 00:02:11,829 and I am the three-time winner 34 00:02:11,865 --> 00:02:13,731 of the substitute teacher award 35 00:02:13,767 --> 00:02:15,565 at Tom Landry Middle School. 36 00:02:15,602 --> 00:02:18,128 Well, maybe I should be asking for your autograph. 37 00:02:18,171 --> 00:02:19,400 Oh, no. 38 00:02:19,439 --> 00:02:21,999 Señor Filipe, my students and I love your show. 39 00:02:22,042 --> 00:02:25,206 And I was wondering if you could come to my Spanish class 40 00:02:25,245 --> 00:02:26,406 as a special guest. 41 00:02:26,446 --> 00:02:28,506 I'm sorry, Señora, but I have a rule 42 00:02:28,548 --> 00:02:30,244 about special appearances... 43 00:02:30,283 --> 00:02:33,845 I do them only for my charity work with the sick children, 44 00:02:33,887 --> 00:02:36,482 or for paid vacations on the cruise ships. 45 00:02:37,924 --> 00:02:41,326 Dad, I accidentally used your toothbrush again. 46 00:02:41,361 --> 00:02:42,659 Throw it out. 47 00:02:42,696 --> 00:02:45,530 I got freakin' Monsignor Martinez 48 00:02:45,565 --> 00:02:47,864 and he is coming to my classroom tomorrow. 49 00:02:47,901 --> 00:02:48,869 Really? Wow. 50 00:02:48,902 --> 00:02:51,030 Mom, can I come meet him? 51 00:02:51,071 --> 00:02:52,300 You bet you can. 52 00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:54,365 But you have to pretend to be a sick child. 53 00:02:54,408 --> 00:02:55,706 Hmm. 54 00:02:57,344 --> 00:02:59,836 What? The man only does guest appearances for sick children. 55 00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:01,075 So what? 56 00:03:01,114 --> 00:03:04,516 Peggy, the boy ain't right, but he's not sick. 57 00:03:04,551 --> 00:03:06,281 Can I be in a bubble? 58 00:03:06,319 --> 00:03:09,050 PEGGY: Who is excited about watching this week's 59 00:03:09,089 --> 00:03:12,617 episode of Monsignor Martinez? 60 00:03:12,659 --> 00:03:14,093 (cheering) 61 00:03:15,729 --> 00:03:16,729 Pare se, Señora. 62 00:03:17,964 --> 00:03:21,093 If you put that tape in, it will explode. 63 00:03:21,134 --> 00:03:23,603 The real Monsignor Martinez! 64 00:03:23,637 --> 00:03:25,538 (cheering) 65 00:03:27,574 --> 00:03:30,203 Señor, this is the sick boy I was telling you about. 66 00:03:30,243 --> 00:03:31,370 He cannot talk. 67 00:03:31,411 --> 00:03:33,346 Be brave, little soldier. 68 00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:34,746 From now on 69 00:03:34,781 --> 00:03:38,650 you will be in the prayers of Monsignor Martinez. 70 00:03:39,619 --> 00:03:41,645 (coughing) 71 00:03:41,688 --> 00:03:44,453 Señor, he should not be out of his bubble for too long. 72 00:03:49,196 --> 00:03:50,755 FELIPE: If the moment is truthful 73 00:03:50,797 --> 00:03:53,392 then stabbing to death El Jefe with an icicle 74 00:03:53,433 --> 00:03:55,868 will come almost without conscious effort. 75 00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:57,268 Okay, kids, I'm afraid 76 00:03:57,304 --> 00:04:00,570 that is all the time we have with our very special guest. 77 00:04:00,607 --> 00:04:01,575 (all groaning) 78 00:04:01,608 --> 00:04:03,406 Uh... uh... in Espanol. 79 00:04:03,443 --> 00:04:04,638 ALL: Aiii. 80 00:04:07,013 --> 00:04:09,209 That was the best... You are the coolest... 81 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,878 Oh, gracias, gracias, Señor Filipe. 82 00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:13,648 The children loved you. 83 00:04:13,687 --> 00:04:15,485 The pleasure was all mine. 84 00:04:15,522 --> 00:04:18,549 Sometimes I forget we have many young viewers. 85 00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:20,686 We should probably do more episodes 86 00:04:20,727 --> 00:04:22,389 like the one about the monkey 87 00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:25,160 who smuggled the cocaine under his little hat. 88 00:04:25,198 --> 00:04:27,429 Señora, I'm about to have some lunch. 89 00:04:27,467 --> 00:04:28,467 Please, join me. 90 00:04:29,903 --> 00:04:32,964 I noticed you have the same passion for teaching 91 00:04:33,006 --> 00:04:34,474 that I have for acting. 92 00:04:34,508 --> 00:04:36,670 Gracias. 93 00:04:36,710 --> 00:04:39,976 Hey, say, Vay con Dios, dude. 94 00:04:40,013 --> 00:04:41,037 Hey! Hey! 95 00:04:41,081 --> 00:04:42,081 Do not look over. 96 00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:43,811 It will only encourage them. 97 00:04:43,850 --> 00:04:45,113 Vay con Dios, 98 00:04:45,152 --> 00:04:46,984 you pant load. 99 00:04:47,020 --> 00:04:48,682 Señora Hill, I have two children 100 00:04:48,722 --> 00:04:50,657 who are about to take entrance exams 101 00:04:50,690 --> 00:04:52,522 to private high school in America. 102 00:04:52,559 --> 00:04:54,960 A teacher like yourself with your passion, 103 00:04:54,995 --> 00:04:56,896 could help them pass such a test. 104 00:04:56,930 --> 00:04:59,490 Would you be interested in coming to Mexico 105 00:04:59,533 --> 00:05:00,796 to tutor my children? 106 00:05:00,834 --> 00:05:01,995 Really? 107 00:05:02,035 --> 00:05:05,005 I can see I have surprised you with my offer. 108 00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:08,099 I will give you... a day to think about it. 109 00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:10,508 Talk it over with the loved ones. 110 00:05:10,544 --> 00:05:14,413 Oh, señor, I have something to confess. 111 00:05:14,447 --> 00:05:16,006 That boy in my classroom 112 00:05:16,049 --> 00:05:17,347 was not sick at all. 113 00:05:17,384 --> 00:05:21,583 Actually, that boy is my healthy son Bobby. 114 00:05:21,621 --> 00:05:23,214 Señora Hill, I am an actor. 115 00:05:23,256 --> 00:05:26,055 I could tell right away that he was not sick. 116 00:05:26,092 --> 00:05:27,458 I do not mean 117 00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:30,362 to be unkind, but your son gave a terrible performance. 118 00:05:30,397 --> 00:05:32,525 Yes, he was terrible, wasn't he? 119 00:05:32,566 --> 00:05:33,534 Ah, yes. 120 00:05:33,567 --> 00:05:34,694 (laughing) 121 00:05:34,734 --> 00:05:36,334 But not as terrible as this fish! Waiter! 122 00:05:39,139 --> 00:05:41,608 Hank, are you going to the propane convention 123 00:05:41,641 --> 00:05:42,870 in Alberta? 124 00:05:42,909 --> 00:05:44,844 There's a propane convention in Alberta? 125 00:05:44,878 --> 00:05:46,437 It's exciting, isn't it? 126 00:05:46,479 --> 00:05:49,176 Oh, by you'll be so far away... in Canada. 127 00:05:49,216 --> 00:05:51,117 Yeah, but no distance is too great 128 00:05:51,151 --> 00:05:52,551 when it comes to propane. 129 00:05:52,586 --> 00:05:54,487 Mm-hmm, and I would have no problem 130 00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:56,387 with you going to that convention, 131 00:05:56,423 --> 00:05:57,914 even if it's for two weeks. 132 00:05:57,958 --> 00:05:59,586 I don't see why you would. 133 00:05:59,626 --> 00:06:02,357 Hank, there is no propane convention in Alberta. 134 00:06:02,395 --> 00:06:03,226 What? 135 00:06:03,263 --> 00:06:05,255 But I have been offered 136 00:06:05,298 --> 00:06:06,766 a job in Mexico. 137 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:08,928 The actor who plays Monsignor Martinez 138 00:06:08,969 --> 00:06:10,301 wants me to go to Mexico 139 00:06:10,337 --> 00:06:12,636 and be a private tutor for his children. 140 00:06:12,672 --> 00:06:14,368 It will only be for two weeks. 141 00:06:14,407 --> 00:06:15,602 No way, Peggy. 142 00:06:15,642 --> 00:06:17,577 You only know this guy through the television. 143 00:06:17,611 --> 00:06:18,943 Hank, can't you see 144 00:06:18,979 --> 00:06:22,040 what an incredible opportunity this is for me? 145 00:06:22,082 --> 00:06:24,881 This is a real double whammy for me, Peggy. 146 00:06:24,918 --> 00:06:28,355 You want to leave and there's no propane convention. 147 00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:30,755 But if it means that much to you, 148 00:06:30,790 --> 00:06:33,589 I guess you should give this guy a call 149 00:06:33,627 --> 00:06:34,890 and tell him yes. 150 00:06:34,928 --> 00:06:36,521 Thank you, Hank. 151 00:06:38,632 --> 00:06:41,625 Luanne, I want you to look after Bobby and Hank while I'm gone. 152 00:06:41,668 --> 00:06:43,933 I would have had you practice with an egg first, 153 00:06:43,970 --> 00:06:44,938 but there's no time. 154 00:06:44,971 --> 00:06:46,337 You're trusting me? 155 00:06:46,373 --> 00:06:48,968 I will do such a good job being you, 156 00:06:49,009 --> 00:06:52,275 that you will not even know that you're gone. 157 00:06:54,481 --> 00:06:57,610 Well, I guess I should get going. 158 00:06:57,651 --> 00:07:00,849 Wow, this is going to be the first we'll be apart 159 00:07:00,887 --> 00:07:02,879 for more than a couple of days. 160 00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:05,984 Yeah, uh, Peggy, remember to take your glasses off 161 00:07:06,026 --> 00:07:08,188 before you take a nap on the plane. 162 00:07:08,228 --> 00:07:10,459 I will, Hank. 163 00:07:10,497 --> 00:07:12,363 Peggy, not in the airport. 164 00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:39,056 I trust your flight was good. 165 00:07:39,092 --> 00:07:42,119 You know I've never flown first class before. 166 00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:44,893 My husband says coach is just as good... 167 00:07:44,931 --> 00:07:46,763 You get there at the same time. 168 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,428 Yes, yes. 169 00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:50,903 People who have never flown first class always say that. 170 00:07:52,572 --> 00:07:54,131 Ah, Señora Hill, 171 00:07:54,174 --> 00:07:56,769 These are my children, your students. 172 00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:58,301 Antonio and Christina. 173 00:07:58,345 --> 00:08:00,041 BOTH: Hola, Señora Hill. 174 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:01,207 PEGGY: Hola. 175 00:08:01,247 --> 00:08:03,045 Señora, you have had a long flight. 176 00:08:03,083 --> 00:08:05,177 May I suggest you start fresh manana. 177 00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:07,016 Oh, manana, yes, of course. 178 00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:13,392 Let me show you around. 179 00:08:13,426 --> 00:08:15,520 Mi casa es tu casa. 180 00:08:15,562 --> 00:08:18,430 Señora Hill, acting is not my only passion. 181 00:08:18,465 --> 00:08:19,558 I have another... 182 00:08:19,599 --> 00:08:21,124 Making homemade wine. 183 00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:24,861 I too have another passion... Boggle. 184 00:08:24,904 --> 00:08:27,169 It is good to have many passions, yes? 185 00:08:27,207 --> 00:08:29,335 I have always said... 186 00:08:29,376 --> 00:08:32,210 Uh, these blackouts happen all the time in Mexico. 187 00:08:32,245 --> 00:08:35,306 One of my children was conceived in such a blackout. 188 00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:36,680 (nervous laugh) 189 00:08:36,716 --> 00:08:40,050 Would you like to taste my homemade wine, Señora Hill? 190 00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:46,326 PEGGY: Well, you have the most spectacular sunsets in Mexico. 191 00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:48,453 Yes, it is the pollution. 192 00:08:48,495 --> 00:08:50,862 My wife and I used to sit out here every night 193 00:08:50,897 --> 00:08:53,662 and watch the sun sink behind the city. 194 00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:57,796 If it's not too personal a question, where is your wife? 195 00:08:57,837 --> 00:08:59,669 She is, uh... how you say, 196 00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:01,937 with our ancestors. 197 00:09:01,975 --> 00:09:04,001 Oh, I am so sorry. 198 00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:05,637 I miss her very much. 199 00:09:05,678 --> 00:09:07,078 (sighs) 200 00:09:07,113 --> 00:09:09,014 The heart can get lonely. 201 00:09:10,583 --> 00:09:15,044 More wine? 202 00:09:15,121 --> 00:09:18,888 Well, who could say no to a glass of homemade Mexican wine? 203 00:09:25,298 --> 00:09:27,961 This is actually pretty good, Luanne. 204 00:09:28,001 --> 00:09:30,334 I got the recipe from Redbook. 205 00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:32,771 Which is actually a magazine. 206 00:09:32,806 --> 00:09:34,104 Well, I'm done. 207 00:09:34,140 --> 00:09:36,360 See ya. 208 00:09:36,443 --> 00:09:37,638 Ooh, wait. 209 00:09:37,677 --> 00:09:39,873 I think you're supposed to excuse yourself 210 00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:41,313 from the table properly. 211 00:09:41,347 --> 00:09:42,872 Sit down, please. 212 00:09:50,824 --> 00:09:54,226 May I be excused from the table? 213 00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:55,888 Yes, you may. 214 00:09:57,764 --> 00:09:59,562 He's a lovely boy. 215 00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:00,726 Who? Bobby? 216 00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:01,791 (phone ringing) 217 00:10:01,835 --> 00:10:03,167 Uh-uh-uh. 218 00:10:03,203 --> 00:10:05,798 We do not answer the phone during dinner hour. 219 00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:08,001 Yes, we do. 220 00:10:09,175 --> 00:10:10,302 Hello. 221 00:10:10,343 --> 00:10:11,777 Hi, Honey, it's me. 222 00:10:11,811 --> 00:10:13,643 How's the new job going? 223 00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:15,239 Oh, it's great. 224 00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:17,750 Señor Filipe took me on a tour of his mansion. 225 00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:20,219 He showed me his private gym and wine cellar, 226 00:10:20,253 --> 00:10:22,381 and I tasted some of his homemade wine. 227 00:10:22,422 --> 00:10:24,482 That sounds unnecessary. 228 00:10:24,524 --> 00:10:26,550 Oh, he was just being courtly. 229 00:10:26,593 --> 00:10:27,561 He's Latin. 230 00:10:27,594 --> 00:10:28,721 That's what they do. 231 00:10:28,761 --> 00:10:29,729 They are courtly. 232 00:10:29,762 --> 00:10:31,230 (Peggy yawning) 233 00:10:31,264 --> 00:10:33,358 Well, Hank, you know, I should get some sleep. 234 00:10:33,399 --> 00:10:35,027 I start teaching tomorrow. Love you. 235 00:10:36,302 --> 00:10:37,998 Uh... back at ya. 236 00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:44,209 My children have promised me 237 00:10:44,244 --> 00:10:46,304 that they will listen to your every word 238 00:10:46,346 --> 00:10:48,338 as if you were their mother. 239 00:10:48,381 --> 00:10:49,872 For you, Señora Hill. 240 00:10:49,916 --> 00:10:52,283 Oh, a mango. 241 00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:53,980 One of the passion fruits. 242 00:10:54,020 --> 00:10:55,648 Gracias, señor. 243 00:10:55,688 --> 00:10:56,883 (chuckles) 244 00:10:56,923 --> 00:10:58,391 It's from the children. 245 00:10:58,424 --> 00:10:59,983 Oh, right, Uh-huh. 246 00:11:00,026 --> 00:11:01,187 The children. 247 00:11:01,227 --> 00:11:02,695 (phone rings) 248 00:11:02,729 --> 00:11:03,924 Gribble residence. 249 00:11:03,963 --> 00:11:05,329 Nancy, it's Peggy. 250 00:11:05,365 --> 00:11:08,233 Eduardo is flirting with me big time. 251 00:11:08,268 --> 00:11:10,134 I think he is coming on to me. 252 00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:11,229 Are you sure? 253 00:11:11,271 --> 00:11:13,206 Uh-huh. He used the familiar 254 00:11:13,239 --> 00:11:15,208 tu casa instead of su casa. 255 00:11:15,241 --> 00:11:18,143 We drank wine on a balcony and watched the sunset. 256 00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:19,305 Where's the wife? Dead. 257 00:11:19,345 --> 00:11:20,356 Perfect. Did you flirt back? 258 00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:21,245 I do not know. 259 00:11:21,281 --> 00:11:22,681 Did you blush and giggle? 260 00:11:22,715 --> 00:11:24,775 I may have blushed and giggled once or twice. 261 00:11:24,817 --> 00:11:27,616 Congratulations, sug. You were flirting. 262 00:11:27,654 --> 00:11:30,783 But I got to warn you: don't enjoy it too much, 263 00:11:30,823 --> 00:11:34,260 because there's this moment where there is no turning back. 264 00:11:34,294 --> 00:11:37,321 All of a sudden you can't remember your husband's name. 265 00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:38,888 Your body goes limp, 266 00:11:38,932 --> 00:11:42,664 and then you are pulled down by the undertow of passion. 267 00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:46,036 You're drowning, sug, but you don't care. 268 00:11:46,072 --> 00:11:47,472 I will never drown 269 00:11:47,507 --> 00:11:50,705 because I am wearing the best life preserver there is... 270 00:11:50,743 --> 00:11:52,803 My marriage to Hank. 271 00:12:07,493 --> 00:12:09,189 EDUARDO: Margarita. 272 00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:10,697 I want you, Margarita. 273 00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:12,892 I want you like I've wanted no other woman. 274 00:12:12,932 --> 00:12:15,902 And I am afraid you cannot have me, Eduardo, 275 00:12:15,935 --> 00:12:19,099 for I have given my heart to another... Hank Hill. 276 00:12:19,138 --> 00:12:21,835 Oh, I hate this Hank Hill for stealing your heart. 277 00:12:21,874 --> 00:12:24,901 Please, I must have you now, or I will throw myself 278 00:12:24,944 --> 00:12:27,004 off this cliff. 279 00:12:27,046 --> 00:12:30,915 I must refuse your advances for the second time. 280 00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:36,980 Eduardo! No! 281 00:12:37,023 --> 00:12:38,184 Think of the children! 282 00:12:38,224 --> 00:12:40,750 What is the capital of Oregon? 283 00:12:40,793 --> 00:12:44,195 Señora Hill, what is the capital of Oregon? 284 00:12:44,230 --> 00:12:45,789 Huh? Uh, Portland. 285 00:12:45,832 --> 00:12:46,856 No, no, Salem. 286 00:12:46,899 --> 00:12:48,800 Are you sure, Señora? 287 00:12:48,835 --> 00:12:50,633 Who's the American here? 288 00:12:50,670 --> 00:12:52,866 Hey, Luanne, did you buy any beer? 289 00:12:52,905 --> 00:12:54,840 I know you wanted me to get a case of beer, 290 00:12:54,874 --> 00:12:56,775 but it's not very healthy, 291 00:12:56,809 --> 00:13:00,143 so I got a case of V-8 juice instead. 292 00:13:00,179 --> 00:13:02,705 But it's my week to bring the beer out to the alley. 293 00:13:02,749 --> 00:13:06,584 Uncle Hank, V-8 juice has eight vitamins. 294 00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:09,384 Beer has one: barley. 295 00:13:11,324 --> 00:13:12,986 (groans) 296 00:13:13,026 --> 00:13:15,120 So Peggy phoned Nancy last night 297 00:13:15,161 --> 00:13:17,357 and apparently this Eduardo fella 298 00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:18,990 is real sweet on Peggy. 299 00:13:19,032 --> 00:13:20,032 What? 300 00:13:20,066 --> 00:13:21,659 Dale, I think Nancy must have had 301 00:13:21,701 --> 00:13:23,192 a bad connection or something 302 00:13:23,236 --> 00:13:24,534 because I talked to Peggy 303 00:13:24,570 --> 00:13:27,130 and she said that Eduardo was just being courtly. 304 00:13:27,173 --> 00:13:31,076 Mmm... no... 305 00:13:31,110 --> 00:13:32,271 Doesn't surprise me. 306 00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:34,144 Peggy's a very beautiful woman. 307 00:13:34,180 --> 00:13:35,512 Shut up, Bill. 308 00:13:35,548 --> 00:13:38,279 Why? Don't you think Peggy is beautiful, Hank? 309 00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:40,048 Of course I do. 310 00:13:40,086 --> 00:13:42,419 I just don't feel the need to say it is all. 311 00:13:45,858 --> 00:13:47,451 PEGGY: And that 312 00:13:47,493 --> 00:13:49,394 is why it is called Pittsburgh. 313 00:13:49,429 --> 00:13:50,453 Ah, Señora. 314 00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:52,021 Señora, I need your help, uh, 315 00:13:52,065 --> 00:13:53,499 in the running some lines. 316 00:13:59,305 --> 00:14:02,742 Okay... you are the Ambassador's beautiful daughter 317 00:14:02,775 --> 00:14:04,334 who speaks no Spanish. 318 00:14:04,377 --> 00:14:07,404 We hide in the drug lord's greenhouse. 319 00:14:07,447 --> 00:14:09,439 It is hot, very, very hot, 320 00:14:09,482 --> 00:14:11,212 and also very dangerous. 321 00:14:11,250 --> 00:14:13,048 You must stand close. 322 00:14:14,220 --> 00:14:17,281 Oh, well, it is how people would stand 323 00:14:17,323 --> 00:14:19,815 in a hot, dangerous greenhouse. 324 00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:23,227 The one thing more dangerous than my enemies 325 00:14:23,262 --> 00:14:24,958 is your beauty. 326 00:14:24,997 --> 00:14:26,260 "Hold me tight. 327 00:14:26,299 --> 00:14:29,929 I so greatly fear these enemies who threaten us." 328 00:14:29,969 --> 00:14:33,565 Hush, Rebecca. I believe my enemies are coming. 329 00:14:33,606 --> 00:14:34,869 And I also believe 330 00:14:34,907 --> 00:14:37,342 that I am falling in love with you. 331 00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:41,677 Oh, God, that is good dialogue. 332 00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:44,240 I need an agua de frutas break. 333 00:14:47,787 --> 00:14:52,487 Uncle Hank, we need to have a serious talk about Bobby. 334 00:14:52,525 --> 00:14:53,652 No we don't. 335 00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:55,218 Now, Bobby's at an age 336 00:14:55,261 --> 00:14:57,457 where we should be giving him his 337 00:14:57,497 --> 00:14:58,988 (whispers): sex talk. 338 00:14:59,031 --> 00:15:01,728 Luanne, stop trying to be your Aunt Peggy. 339 00:15:01,768 --> 00:15:02,861 You're no Peggy. 340 00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:04,097 You're fired. 341 00:15:04,137 --> 00:15:06,368 Well, I'm glad you're firing me, 342 00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:08,068 'cause being Aunt Peggy 343 00:15:08,107 --> 00:15:10,941 is the most thankless job I've ever had! 344 00:15:10,977 --> 00:15:14,607 No wonder she ran away to Mexico! 345 00:15:20,086 --> 00:15:21,349 Ai! 346 00:15:21,387 --> 00:15:23,686 Oh, I'm sorry I frightened you, Señor Filipe. 347 00:15:23,723 --> 00:15:25,157 You did not frighten me. 348 00:15:25,191 --> 00:15:26,159 We need to talk. 349 00:15:26,192 --> 00:15:27,160 (doorbell rings) 350 00:15:27,193 --> 00:15:28,354 Excuse me, Margarita, 351 00:15:28,394 --> 00:15:30,693 but those must be the roses I had delivered. 352 00:15:30,730 --> 00:15:31,823 Roses? 353 00:15:31,864 --> 00:15:32,957 Yeah, I know this is not 354 00:15:32,999 --> 00:15:34,433 what I brought you up here for, 355 00:15:34,467 --> 00:15:36,129 but would you mind getting the roses 356 00:15:36,169 --> 00:15:37,637 and bringing them to my bedroom? 357 00:15:38,671 --> 00:15:40,003 Si. 358 00:15:46,312 --> 00:15:48,713 Uh, could you place the roses on the bed? 359 00:15:48,748 --> 00:15:51,115 Maybe... maybe spread the petals around? 360 00:15:51,150 --> 00:15:53,119 It needs a woman's touch, yes? 361 00:15:53,152 --> 00:15:55,621 Look, Señor, we really need to talk. 362 00:15:55,655 --> 00:15:57,021 Uh, y-yes, I remember, 363 00:15:57,056 --> 00:15:59,651 but I need a moment to, uh, prepare myself 364 00:15:59,692 --> 00:16:02,389 and then I will give you my full attentions. 365 00:16:02,428 --> 00:16:05,262 ♪ Besame... ♪ 366 00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:08,132 ♪ Besame mucho... ♪ 367 00:16:08,167 --> 00:16:09,328 (gasps) 368 00:16:09,368 --> 00:16:12,702 He wants to kiss me much. 369 00:16:15,041 --> 00:16:17,943 ♪ Tengo miedo a perderte... ♪ 370 00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:20,674 Okay, soon you are going to be face-to-face 371 00:16:20,713 --> 00:16:23,308 with a naked, wet, Latin television star. 372 00:16:23,349 --> 00:16:25,341 All right, then what, Peggy? Huh? 373 00:16:25,451 --> 00:16:27,362 All right, then what, Peggy? You'll forget what's-his-name... 374 00:16:27,386 --> 00:16:28,979 Oh, God, what is his name? 375 00:16:29,021 --> 00:16:30,751 Hank! Hank Hill. 376 00:16:30,790 --> 00:16:32,315 No, no, no. 377 00:16:32,358 --> 00:16:35,089 I will not give that man the thrill of me seeing him naked. 378 00:16:35,127 --> 00:16:36,186 No! 379 00:16:37,597 --> 00:16:41,329 Señora Hill, what in God's name are you doing? 380 00:16:41,367 --> 00:16:43,165 Stop playing coy with me, Eduardo. 381 00:16:43,202 --> 00:16:45,171 I must insist that you leave, Señora. 382 00:16:45,204 --> 00:16:46,763 All right, I am not leaving 383 00:16:46,806 --> 00:16:48,775 until you wrap this towel around you 384 00:16:48,808 --> 00:16:50,834 and you listen to what I have to say. 385 00:16:50,877 --> 00:16:54,837 Señor Filipe, I understand that my being an American woman 386 00:16:54,881 --> 00:16:56,144 may seem exotic... 387 00:16:56,182 --> 00:16:58,378 Uh, my wife has come home early. 388 00:16:58,417 --> 00:16:59,680 What? Your wife?! 389 00:17:04,056 --> 00:17:05,251 Oh, God, what do we do? 390 00:17:05,291 --> 00:17:06,291 What do we do? 391 00:17:06,325 --> 00:17:07,850 I will go down to greet her. 392 00:17:07,894 --> 00:17:09,192 Yes! Yes! That's good! 393 00:17:09,228 --> 00:17:10,252 Go! Go! Go! 394 00:17:10,296 --> 00:17:11,264 (gasps) 395 00:17:11,297 --> 00:17:12,297 The roses! 396 00:17:29,448 --> 00:17:31,474 (mumbling in Spanish) 397 00:17:31,517 --> 00:17:34,214 Señora Hill... 398 00:17:34,253 --> 00:17:35,983 where are the roses? 399 00:17:36,022 --> 00:17:37,923 Don't worry. I took care of them. 400 00:17:37,957 --> 00:17:39,391 Now, where is your wife? 401 00:17:39,425 --> 00:17:41,917 Uh, Señora Hill, this is my wife Maria. 402 00:17:41,961 --> 00:17:43,054 Hola. 403 00:17:43,095 --> 00:17:44,996 I... I thought you were dead. 404 00:17:45,031 --> 00:17:47,865 No. I was with my ancestors. 405 00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:49,232 No, not my ancestors... 406 00:17:49,268 --> 00:17:51,999 my, uh... ay, como se dice... 407 00:17:52,038 --> 00:17:54,234 My grandparents. 408 00:17:54,273 --> 00:17:55,639 Yes, yes, I told her this. 409 00:17:55,675 --> 00:17:57,974 Señora Filipe, I just want you to know 410 00:17:58,010 --> 00:17:59,979 that nothing happened between us. 411 00:18:00,012 --> 00:18:03,346 Even though I was flattered by your husband's advances, 412 00:18:03,382 --> 00:18:05,647 I am a happily married woman. 413 00:18:05,685 --> 00:18:06,948 I am so sorry, 414 00:18:06,986 --> 00:18:09,353 but I will not be able to satisfy your lust for me. 415 00:18:09,388 --> 00:18:11,289 Oh, wait, wait... I-I am sorry, 416 00:18:11,324 --> 00:18:13,316 I am not sure I understand. 417 00:18:13,859 --> 00:18:15,623 You... (slightly chuckles) 418 00:18:15,661 --> 00:18:18,654 You thought I wanted you as a lover? 419 00:18:18,698 --> 00:18:19,825 Well, yes. 420 00:18:19,865 --> 00:18:22,130 Well, you couldn't have been more obvious... 421 00:18:22,168 --> 00:18:23,431 The mango, the roses... 422 00:18:23,469 --> 00:18:25,938 The roses were a surprise for my wife. 423 00:18:25,972 --> 00:18:28,567 Well, of course you would say that in front of her. 424 00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:31,237 But you cannot deny your constant flirting with me. 425 00:18:31,277 --> 00:18:35,078 I mean, the wine, the familiar use of "tu" instead of "su". 426 00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:37,140 I was just being a good host. 427 00:18:37,183 --> 00:18:38,481 Señora, I am sorry, 428 00:18:38,517 --> 00:18:41,612 but I do not desire you in that way at all. 429 00:18:41,654 --> 00:18:45,386 You are, how you say, um... old. 430 00:18:45,424 --> 00:18:47,518 Old? I am not old. 431 00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:49,461 I am only 41. 432 00:18:49,495 --> 00:18:50,519 (sighs) 433 00:18:50,563 --> 00:18:52,361 Oh, no, I've done it again. 434 00:18:52,398 --> 00:18:54,390 Anyway, I would never, never, 435 00:18:54,433 --> 00:18:56,197 never take you as a lover. 436 00:18:56,235 --> 00:18:57,362 I got it. 437 00:18:57,403 --> 00:18:59,338 Oh, this is so embarrassing. 438 00:18:59,372 --> 00:19:01,807 Uh, yes, it's quite comical. 439 00:19:01,841 --> 00:19:04,310 Look, my wife finds it comical as well. 440 00:19:04,343 --> 00:19:06,835 (laughing) 441 00:19:06,879 --> 00:19:09,144 Oh... uh... 442 00:19:09,181 --> 00:19:11,150 I'm... I'm sorry. 443 00:19:11,183 --> 00:19:14,051 (phone rings) 444 00:19:14,086 --> 00:19:16,487 Hello? Strickland Propane. 445 00:19:16,522 --> 00:19:18,514 Hi, Hank. It's me. 446 00:19:18,557 --> 00:19:20,185 I just thought you would like to know 447 00:19:20,226 --> 00:19:21,592 that I'm coming home tomorrow. 448 00:19:21,627 --> 00:19:25,325 Turns out my students were really fast learners. 449 00:19:25,364 --> 00:19:26,798 (Maria laughing) 450 00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:29,199 Well, uh, I'm glad you're coming back. 451 00:19:29,235 --> 00:19:30,863 It's not the same without you. 452 00:19:30,903 --> 00:19:32,963 Uh, we miss you. 453 00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:38,143 My flight number is Mexicana Airlines, 710. 454 00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:39,839 Okay, bye! 455 00:19:39,879 --> 00:19:41,814 (laughing) 456 00:19:41,847 --> 00:19:44,214 (crying) 457 00:19:45,685 --> 00:19:48,314 I have contacted another teacher for your children. 458 00:19:48,354 --> 00:19:50,448 Her name is Sandra Morgan. 459 00:19:50,489 --> 00:19:52,651 She's 61 years old. 460 00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:54,490 She is old. 461 00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:57,861 Well, then, via con dios. 462 00:19:57,897 --> 00:20:01,800 I meant that as myself, not as, you know, the character. 463 00:20:11,877 --> 00:20:14,073 Welcome home to Texas, Peggy. 464 00:20:14,113 --> 00:20:15,809 Where is the truck? 465 00:20:17,650 --> 00:20:18,674 Oh, no! 466 00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:19,777 What's this on the floor? 467 00:20:19,819 --> 00:20:21,253 Hank, I... 468 00:20:21,287 --> 00:20:23,119 I have been on a plane all night. 469 00:20:23,155 --> 00:20:24,350 Whatever is on the floor 470 00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:26,018 I will pick it up in the morning. 471 00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:27,356 Hey, looks like 472 00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:29,225 chocolates, and, uh... 473 00:20:29,261 --> 00:20:31,856 wow, they're, uh, Kisses. 474 00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:33,024 Did you do this? 475 00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:35,557 Yeah. I got it from the Redbook. 476 00:20:35,601 --> 00:20:37,263 Hey, I wonder where they go? 477 00:20:37,303 --> 00:20:38,794 Do they lead to our bed? 478 00:20:38,838 --> 00:20:39,897 Maybe. 479 00:20:45,978 --> 00:20:47,537 They don't lead to the bed. 480 00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:48,946 Nope. Keep going. 481 00:20:48,981 --> 00:20:50,415 To the bathroom? 482 00:20:50,449 --> 00:20:51,449 Uh... 483 00:20:51,484 --> 00:20:53,976 Okay, the tub. 484 00:20:54,019 --> 00:20:56,545 Hank, did you buy scented candles? 485 00:21:06,065 --> 00:21:08,159 I am tired and I give up. 486 00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:09,634 What am I looking for? 487 00:21:09,668 --> 00:21:11,569 His-and-her sinks. 488 00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:12,781 Well, that's yours right there. 489 00:21:12,805 --> 00:21:14,045 Turn on the tap. Give it a try. 490 00:21:15,741 --> 00:21:17,676 (sighs): You don't like it. 491 00:21:19,445 --> 00:21:20,445 Hank, 492 00:21:20,479 --> 00:21:22,448 I love it. 493 00:21:22,481 --> 00:21:24,006 HANK: You know how you always complain 494 00:21:24,049 --> 00:21:26,075 that I was shaving and leaving hairs in the sink? 495 00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:27,950 Well, Joe Jack heard about this plumber 496 00:21:27,987 --> 00:21:30,013 that was going out of business, and then... 497 00:21:30,055 --> 00:21:34,993 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 498 00:21:58,818 --> 00:22:01,413 Wha-hoo! 499 00:22:07,493 --> 00:22:08,791 PEGGY: In Español. 500 00:22:08,828 --> 00:22:10,091 KIDS: Ai.