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Captioning sponsored by FOX
BROADCASTING COMPANY
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and 20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
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Budding thespians
of TLMS, I give you
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the cast list of Oklahoma!
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I'm in a dance number.
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It will be an honor
to work with you.
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I think you'll find
my portrayal of Curly
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to be both sensitive and gruff.
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Now, where are you, Curly?
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Ah! Hello there.
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Ken Hayashi?
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Sorry, Bobby.
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Kenny just has a certain
"rootin' tootin" ' quality
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about him.
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His brother had it, too.
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Yee-haw!
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Wonderful!
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Let's get a move on!
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I want to get to the flea market
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while the tube sock
guy is still there.
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Oh, Hank, just cut
the pom-poms off
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and wear a pair of mine.
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Our boy is just sulking in bed
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in his pajamas and a cowboy hat.
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You know, if you ask
me, there might be
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a silver lining to him not
being a dancing cowboy.
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Hank, we both know
he is not like you,
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but you are still his father,
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so go in there and
sympathize with him.
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It's just...
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the tube sock always brings
that old German Shepard,
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and if it gets too hot,
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I know he's going to
have to take him home.
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I just can't believe it.
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I thought it was meant to be.
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Ah, yeah, I know.
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I know. It's terrible.
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It's just terrible.
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Terrible.
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It's a beautiful day out there.
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Why don't you get dressed,
uh, throw out that hat
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and go hang out
with your friends?
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I can't.
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Joseph's at football practice,
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and Connie's at
one of her recitals.
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They both got
things they're good at.
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I always thought
performing was my thing.
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You've seen me fall down.
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I can cry on demand.
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Why?!
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See?
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Uh... well, we just need
to find you a new thing.
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A cool new thing,
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and I know just
the place to find it.
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Ah, the flea market.
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It's like America's garage.
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You know, somewhere
in all this old stuff
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is the new you, son.
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Hey, a lawnmower engine.
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Get a truck dolly and
an old steering wheel,
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and you could be
"The Go Cart Guy."
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Ah, come on, it's not that hot.
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Here.
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Why don't you take a lap?
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See what you come up with.
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Hey, what are those?
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Oh, those are Tarot Cards.
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People use them
to tell the future.
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They're like baseball
cards for Hobbits!
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I'll take 'em!
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Hey, Bobby, ready to roll?
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Oh, so you found something.
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Yeah. I bought these
really cool cards.
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Well, all right, Bobby!
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Everybody respects a
guy who's good at cards.
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Really?
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Well, sure.
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That's why they always get
nicknames like "Amarillo Slim"
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or "The Cincinnati Kid."
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I know, I'll call you "Ace!"
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Now focus all your
energy on this card,
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and it will foretell
your future.
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The ten of swords...
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It means advantage,
profit, success.
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Well, hey, that's great.
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Things have been
going pretty well for me,
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you know, with my
girlfriend, Laoma, and...
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Oh, wait, it's upside down.
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That means something.
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Pain, affliction, tears,
sadness, desolation.
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Oh, for the love of Mordecai.
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Oh, I see you're into Tarot.
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How long have you
divined the cards?
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Couple of days.
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It's kind of my thing.
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The only thing you
can predict with these
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is a coincidence.
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No. If you want
any accuracy at all,
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you need a Mantegna
deck, or at least a Fibbia.
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Huh. Sounds like you really
know what you're talking about.
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Yeah. Sounds like.
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As a 14th-level sorcerer,
I'd be a joke if I didn't.
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Of course,
forecasting the future
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is just the beginning.
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The real power of magick...
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And that's magick with a "ck"...
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Comes in manipulating
the present.
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Ward!
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I told you to clean that
bathroom a half hour ago.
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I'm right on it, chief!
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Hey, I want to learn
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more about this stuff.
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Listen, young friend,
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do not let anyone
see this address.
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Arrive exactly at
the stroke of four.
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Ward!
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And bring some potato chips.
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Today, Merlin!
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Damn it, Dale, you
got to stop painting
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your house number on my curb.
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Sorry, Hank, but I got
to lay low for a while.
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You have no idea how far
the jackals of the Franklin Mint
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will go to collect a debt.
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Is it okay if I'm a
little late for dinner?
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My friend Ward invited
me to a gathering.
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Gee, Bobby, you put me
in an awkward position.
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You really should
be asking your father.
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Well, who's this Ward fella?
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I met him at the video store.
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He saw my card pouch,
and we got to talking.
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So I'm going to hang out
with him and his friends tonight.
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I'm bringing the chips.
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Well, see, Bobby, I knew
you'd find your "thing."
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And doesn't that
sound like more fun
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than being in a musical
about Oklahoma?
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Welcome to the Coven of Artemis!
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Wow! Cool lair.
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I suppose introductions
are in order.
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Bobby, meet Vaughn,
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N'oram Woodbender,
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Pan the Soothsayer,
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and of course, the
Master of Disaster...
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Mitchell Jefferson.
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You can't just bring
outsiders to our meetings!
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It's okay, Mitchell.
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He's cool.
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You're supposed to...
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I said, he's cool!
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Welcome.
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Bobby, be forewarned.
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Because of the
powers of the Coven,
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people fear us.
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When we walk down the streets,
mothers steer their babies away.
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Shopkeepers close their stores.
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Holy...!
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This looks like something
out of Harry Potter.
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Dude, I just vouched for you.
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If Harry Potter went to... hell.
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This, Bobby, is nutmeg,
and we use this spice for...?
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Um, oh, I remember.
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Give me a second...
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invincibility.
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Resplendant!
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The spices sit easily upon you.
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Oh...
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I see you boys
are making a cake.
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A cake?!
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Yeah.
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A cake of tremendous power!
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Score one for the acolyte.
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Fumble, Joseph Gribble.
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As much as I hate
seeing my boy play badly,
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I do enjoy hearing his
name over the loudspeaker.
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Sorry, but I got to
blow off the last quarter.
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I told the guys I'd meet
them in the parking lot.
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Know when to hold 'em, Ace.
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Go get 'em, Shuffles!
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Uh-oh. Ace is
going to need this.
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00:08:03,433 --> 00:08:05,402
Hey, any of you kids
seen Bobby Hill...
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Blonde hair, card player...
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That's okay, he must
be tailgating over there.
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Forces of fire,
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beings of the south,
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we command you to rise
and lend us your power!
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Interloper!
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What the hell are
you people doing?
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Hey, Dad!
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Bobby?
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Meet the guys.
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Or as we like to call ourselves:
The Coven of Artemis.
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Here I am thinking
you're playing
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a nice, honest game of poker,
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and instead you're summoning
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the Prince of Dragons?!
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Hey, check out the dork!
196
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Jedi Knight, 10:00.
Hey, what's with Yoda?
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00:08:48,912 --> 00:08:50,312
You can't play poker
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00:08:50,346 --> 00:08:52,338
with these cards, Dad.
199
00:08:52,382 --> 00:08:54,374
That's a good way to bring down
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the wrath of Lud.
201
00:08:55,719 --> 00:08:58,120
It's all here in
the book I bought.
202
00:08:58,154 --> 00:08:59,986
Forty-five dollars?!
203
00:09:00,023 --> 00:09:02,117
The family Bible
costs less that that,
204
00:09:02,158 --> 00:09:03,683
and it was written by Jesus.
205
00:09:03,727 --> 00:09:06,492
Yeah, but this book tells you
how to summon wood nymphs
206
00:09:06,529 --> 00:09:08,361
and water sprites.
207
00:09:09,399 --> 00:09:11,368
All right, look, I
know you're at an age
208
00:09:11,401 --> 00:09:13,370
where you think all
this stuff is interesting,
209
00:09:13,403 --> 00:09:14,837
but believe me it really isn't.
210
00:09:14,871 --> 00:09:16,863
But you told me
to find a new thing.
211
00:09:16,906 --> 00:09:17,839
And then when I do,
212
00:09:17,874 --> 00:09:19,968
you just want to
take it away from me.
213
00:09:20,009 --> 00:09:22,410
They're my circle of power.
214
00:09:22,445 --> 00:09:25,381
Believe me, Bobby, I'm
doing it for your own good.
215
00:09:25,415 --> 00:09:27,646
Now we're not going to
tell your mother about this.
216
00:09:27,684 --> 00:09:29,175
I know she shields me
217
00:09:29,219 --> 00:09:30,710
from a lot of the things you do,
218
00:09:30,754 --> 00:09:32,848
and, well, I'm going
to return the favor
219
00:09:32,889 --> 00:09:35,085
on this one.
220
00:09:36,359 --> 00:09:42,356
Harness the
energy of the crystal.
221
00:09:44,567 --> 00:09:45,899
Well, done, N'oram!
222
00:09:45,935 --> 00:09:49,428
Your powers are
growing stronger.
223
00:09:53,743 --> 00:09:54,972
Hey, guys.
224
00:09:55,011 --> 00:09:56,912
Ah, young apprentice.
225
00:09:56,946 --> 00:09:59,040
Something is on your mind.
226
00:09:59,082 --> 00:10:00,380
I can sense it.
227
00:10:00,416 --> 00:10:03,978
My dad says I can't hang
out with you guys anymore.
228
00:10:04,020 --> 00:10:06,353
I guess he thinks
magick is dumb.
229
00:10:06,389 --> 00:10:07,948
Magick is "dumb"?
230
00:10:07,991 --> 00:10:09,653
Does this look dumb?
231
00:10:09,692 --> 00:10:10,660
F'zah!
232
00:10:10,693 --> 00:10:12,662
Don't make me come over there!
233
00:10:12,695 --> 00:10:15,631
N'oram, are you trying to
get us kicked out of here?
234
00:10:15,665 --> 00:10:16,997
Sorry.
235
00:10:17,033 --> 00:10:19,662
Bobby, the problem
with your father is
236
00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:20,897
he's "ungifted."
237
00:10:20,937 --> 00:10:21,905
Our kind
238
00:10:21,938 --> 00:10:23,133
have always been persecuted
239
00:10:23,173 --> 00:10:25,574
by those who understand not.
240
00:10:25,608 --> 00:10:27,577
From the Salem
trials of the 1600s
241
00:10:27,610 --> 00:10:31,103
to the locker room beatings
and bathroom swirlies of today.
242
00:10:31,147 --> 00:10:32,775
'Tis all one.
243
00:10:32,816 --> 00:10:36,844
So that's why my dad
is so weird about this.
244
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He's threatened by my powers.
245
00:10:39,022 --> 00:10:40,115
Bobby,
246
00:10:40,156 --> 00:10:42,421
the mark of Merlin is upon you.
247
00:10:42,458 --> 00:10:44,427
When you have
completed your training,
248
00:10:44,460 --> 00:10:46,258
you will be a White Wizard!
249
00:10:46,296 --> 00:10:50,495
Really? Wow! What
do I have to do?
250
00:10:50,533 --> 00:10:52,559
When can I start?
251
00:10:52,602 --> 00:10:54,264
Your training begins now.
252
00:10:54,304 --> 00:10:56,830
You can start by
refilling my root beer.
253
00:10:58,875 --> 00:11:01,242
It was wise that you came to me,
254
00:11:01,277 --> 00:11:04,247
but be forewarned that
I am merely the vessel
255
00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:05,680
through which the powers flow.
256
00:11:05,715 --> 00:11:07,240
Are you going to help us
257
00:11:07,283 --> 00:11:09,081
get our kickball off the roof?
258
00:11:09,118 --> 00:11:10,086
Silence!
259
00:11:10,119 --> 00:11:11,951
By the breath of Heckatees,
260
00:11:11,988 --> 00:11:14,617
I summon the winds
of the north to blow!
261
00:11:14,657 --> 00:11:16,751
Blow, I say!
262
00:11:16,793 --> 00:11:19,922
Bobby, a word, please.
263
00:11:19,963 --> 00:11:24,094
Resplendant!
264
00:11:24,133 --> 00:11:28,093
Before we get started,
265
00:11:28,137 --> 00:11:29,105
I'd like to know
266
00:11:29,138 --> 00:11:31,107
the proper term
for your religion.
267
00:11:31,140 --> 00:11:34,076
You know, what's the
politically correct term for "witch"?
268
00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:35,772
Hank, what is going on here?
269
00:11:35,812 --> 00:11:36,780
Uh, nothing.
270
00:11:36,813 --> 00:11:39,908
Bobby just got a little carried
away with this new club,
271
00:11:39,949 --> 00:11:41,918
but there's nothing
to worry about.
272
00:11:41,951 --> 00:11:42,919
He's quitting.
273
00:11:42,952 --> 00:11:44,978
I think everyone's
just a little uptight.
274
00:11:45,021 --> 00:11:47,581
Why don't I summon
up a tranquillity spirit
275
00:11:47,624 --> 00:11:49,525
so we can all rest easy.
276
00:11:49,559 --> 00:11:51,926
Oh, powers of
ancient Boolardune...
277
00:11:51,961 --> 00:11:54,089
I can't have him
praying in my office.
278
00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:56,190
School board's
very clear on that.
279
00:11:56,232 --> 00:11:58,064
He's not praying.
280
00:11:58,101 --> 00:11:59,433
And he's stopping right now.
281
00:12:01,738 --> 00:12:04,264
Hank, I may be a mother,
but I am still a woman,
282
00:12:04,307 --> 00:12:06,401
and I know a girl
repellent when I see it.
283
00:12:07,443 --> 00:12:09,708
I want grandchildren!
Will you fix this?!
284
00:12:09,746 --> 00:12:15,049
Uh, Mr. Rackley?
285
00:12:15,084 --> 00:12:16,916
Yes.
286
00:12:16,953 --> 00:12:19,149
Yeah, I'd like to
have a word with you
287
00:12:19,188 --> 00:12:20,188
about your son, Ward.
288
00:12:20,223 --> 00:12:22,590
You see, he and my boy,
Bobby, are playmates...
289
00:12:22,625 --> 00:12:26,062
Excuse me. But I'm Ward Rackley.
290
00:12:26,095 --> 00:12:27,154
You're Ward Rackley?
291
00:12:27,196 --> 00:12:29,631
It's one of my
many monikers, yes.
292
00:12:29,666 --> 00:12:32,101
I'm also known as
Madelgar of the North Woods,
293
00:12:32,135 --> 00:12:33,364
and in certain company,
294
00:12:33,403 --> 00:12:36,168
Austin Osman Starklarvatard.
295
00:12:36,205 --> 00:12:38,640
How old are you? 30? 40?
296
00:12:38,675 --> 00:12:41,270
Ha! Not even close.
297
00:12:41,311 --> 00:12:43,303
I am 5,000.
298
00:12:43,346 --> 00:12:45,542
Don't you have some
friends your own age?
299
00:12:45,581 --> 00:12:47,914
Someone to drink
with, maybe a girlfriend?
300
00:12:47,951 --> 00:12:50,318
And waste my seed
on a common harlot?
301
00:12:50,353 --> 00:12:51,353
Not likely.
302
00:12:51,387 --> 00:12:52,719
When the time is right,
303
00:12:52,755 --> 00:12:54,724
a maiden will be
delivered up to me.
304
00:12:54,757 --> 00:12:56,851
Probably from the east.
305
00:12:57,894 --> 00:12:59,624
Some of this isn't your fault.
306
00:12:59,662 --> 00:13:01,927
I mean, a man can only
take so many wedgies
307
00:13:01,965 --> 00:13:03,593
before he goes to pieces.
308
00:13:03,633 --> 00:13:04,601
Good luck to you, buddy.
309
00:13:04,634 --> 00:13:07,502
And stay away from my
son, or I'll kick your ass.
310
00:13:07,537 --> 00:13:11,872
You don't understand
who you threaten.
311
00:13:11,908 --> 00:13:13,171
I have powers.
312
00:13:13,209 --> 00:13:14,802
Terrible powers!
313
00:13:18,614 --> 00:13:19,775
Ma!
314
00:13:21,651 --> 00:13:24,553
Okay, we tried it your way;
now you're doing it my way.
315
00:13:24,988 --> 00:13:26,616
This is a carburetor.
316
00:13:26,656 --> 00:13:29,023
Take it apart, put
it back together.
317
00:13:29,058 --> 00:13:30,651
Repeat until you're normal.
318
00:13:30,693 --> 00:13:35,063
But, Dad, the Dark Arts
are nothing to be afraid of.
319
00:13:35,098 --> 00:13:37,226
I'm not afraid of that garbage.
320
00:13:37,266 --> 00:13:38,564
I'm afraid of you
321
00:13:38,601 --> 00:13:39,933
getting your ass
kicked every day
322
00:13:39,969 --> 00:13:40,902
for the rest of your life
323
00:13:40,937 --> 00:13:43,031
because you found a
new way to act like a nerd.
324
00:13:43,072 --> 00:13:45,337
Ward said you
wouldn't understand.
325
00:13:45,375 --> 00:13:47,469
Bobby, you don't
need a crystal ball
326
00:13:47,510 --> 00:13:49,206
to see Ward's future.
327
00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:51,714
He's going to live with
his mother until she dies,
328
00:13:51,748 --> 00:13:54,081
and maybe for a few weeks after.
329
00:13:54,951 --> 00:13:56,647
Now, until you stop
with all this nonsense,
330
00:13:56,686 --> 00:13:58,484
I want you to take
your carburetor
331
00:13:58,521 --> 00:14:04,427
and go to your room.
332
00:14:13,002 --> 00:14:13,935
I know my dad
333
00:14:13,970 --> 00:14:16,439
must've come off as
some kind of nutjob,
334
00:14:16,472 --> 00:14:17,963
but you've got to believe,
335
00:14:18,007 --> 00:14:20,909
I'm completely committed
to our power circle.
336
00:14:20,943 --> 00:14:22,605
Are you? I wonder.
337
00:14:22,645 --> 00:14:26,514
I'd think you'd be able
to control your father
338
00:14:26,549 --> 00:14:29,109
as effectively as
I control Mother.
339
00:14:29,152 --> 00:14:31,712
Nevertheless, Bobby's
daddy has shown us
340
00:14:31,754 --> 00:14:34,451
that persecution of
our kind is on the rise.
341
00:14:34,490 --> 00:14:37,585
Perhaps it's time to take
our powers to the next level.
342
00:14:37,627 --> 00:14:38,788
Yeah! Approved!
343
00:14:38,828 --> 00:14:41,423
Tonight we are going
to kick it up a notch
344
00:14:41,464 --> 00:14:44,366
and summon a dread force
that will bestow upon us
345
00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:45,834
unequaled power!
346
00:14:45,868 --> 00:14:49,862
And of course we'll need
someone to be the chalice holder.
347
00:14:53,910 --> 00:14:55,401
I'll do it.
348
00:14:55,445 --> 00:14:56,913
Excellent, my young apprentice.
349
00:14:56,946 --> 00:14:59,848
You'll earn that
White Wizard cone yet.
350
00:14:59,882 --> 00:15:01,851
We will convene at
the ceremony grounds
351
00:15:01,884 --> 00:15:03,910
at half past the eighth hour.
352
00:15:03,953 --> 00:15:07,185
Assuming that fat ass
let's me leave on time.
353
00:15:07,223 --> 00:15:11,456
Cool. So, uh, what does the
chalice holder do, anyway?
354
00:15:11,494 --> 00:15:13,622
You hold the chalice
during the incantation.
355
00:15:13,663 --> 00:15:15,825
Then, right after
we light the candles,
356
00:15:15,865 --> 00:15:19,097
you drink caninus spiritus.
357
00:15:19,135 --> 00:15:20,899
What's caninus spiritus?
358
00:15:20,937 --> 00:15:22,166
Dog blood.
359
00:15:22,205 --> 00:15:23,229
What?!
360
00:15:23,272 --> 00:15:25,036
You are the chosen one, Bobby.
361
00:15:25,074 --> 00:15:26,565
Soon, and for all time,
362
00:15:26,609 --> 00:15:29,078
you will be known
throughout the land as...
363
00:15:29,112 --> 00:15:32,947
Robert the Dog-Quaffer.
364
00:15:40,389 --> 00:15:41,389
Have you, uh, checked out
365
00:15:41,424 --> 00:15:43,484
John Redcorn's New
Age Healing Center?
366
00:15:43,526 --> 00:15:44,459
You really should.
367
00:15:44,494 --> 00:15:45,393
On Friday nights,
368
00:15:45,428 --> 00:15:46,691
John Redcorn and his band,
369
00:15:46,729 --> 00:15:48,561
Big Mountain Fudge
Cake, will be playing.
370
00:15:48,598 --> 00:15:50,362
I'm John Redcorn.
371
00:15:50,399 --> 00:15:52,300
I told you, no more fliers.
372
00:15:52,335 --> 00:15:57,000
Hey, Bobby, you like to rock.
373
00:15:57,039 --> 00:15:58,007
Huh?
374
00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:00,009
I'm just reading up
on ancient ceremonies
375
00:16:00,042 --> 00:16:02,011
where people had
to drink animal blood.
376
00:16:02,044 --> 00:16:05,412
Aah, there's got to be
a loophole somewhere.
377
00:16:05,448 --> 00:16:06,416
You're losing me.
378
00:16:06,449 --> 00:16:09,044
You can't tell anyone this.
379
00:16:09,085 --> 00:16:10,678
Promise me?
380
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:13,656
Bobby, I give you my
oath as a New Age healer.
381
00:16:13,689 --> 00:16:16,557
Okay. This group
of guys I hang with,
382
00:16:16,592 --> 00:16:18,561
we're doing a ceremony tonight,
383
00:16:18,594 --> 00:16:22,053
and they want me to
drink the dog blood.
384
00:16:22,098 --> 00:16:23,498
Dog...? Eww!
385
00:16:23,533 --> 00:16:24,831
That's just weird.
386
00:16:24,867 --> 00:16:26,028
I have to do it.
387
00:16:26,068 --> 00:16:27,263
I can't do theater.
388
00:16:27,303 --> 00:16:28,396
I can't do sports.
389
00:16:28,437 --> 00:16:30,406
If I can't drink
something gross,
390
00:16:30,439 --> 00:16:32,101
what have I got?
391
00:16:32,141 --> 00:16:37,273
I had a breakthrough last
night with my fruit rehydrator.
392
00:16:37,313 --> 00:16:39,942
Can you believe a
mere 12 hours ago,
393
00:16:39,982 --> 00:16:42,747
these plump, luscious
grapes were raisins?
394
00:16:42,785 --> 00:16:47,553
Hank, there's something
that I think you should know.
395
00:16:47,590 --> 00:16:52,085
Something very
personal and disturbing.
396
00:16:52,128 --> 00:16:54,757
Sounds like we should leave.
397
00:16:54,797 --> 00:16:56,095
What is it, John Redcorn?
398
00:16:56,132 --> 00:16:58,101
Bobby's going to
drink dog blood.
399
00:16:58,134 --> 00:16:59,602
Aah! Aah! Aah!
400
00:16:59,635 --> 00:17:00,603
What?!
401
00:17:00,636 --> 00:17:02,614
It's part of some ceremony
his friends have cooked up,
402
00:17:02,638 --> 00:17:04,436
and it's going down tonight.
403
00:17:04,473 --> 00:17:05,839
No gottdang way.
404
00:17:05,875 --> 00:17:08,310
I'm not going to let
Bobby be branded a freak
405
00:17:08,344 --> 00:17:10,313
for the rest of his life.
406
00:17:19,755 --> 00:17:20,882
Before we get started,
407
00:17:20,923 --> 00:17:23,324
a debt of gratitude is
owed to Brother Vaughn
408
00:17:23,359 --> 00:17:26,488
for procuring the offering.
409
00:17:26,529 --> 00:17:29,226
My mom's new
boyfriend's a veterinarian.
410
00:17:29,265 --> 00:17:32,064
He lets me call him Rick.
411
00:17:33,803 --> 00:17:35,396
Resplendent!
412
00:17:35,438 --> 00:17:37,464
Now, everyone, if you
would all be so good
413
00:17:37,506 --> 00:17:39,702
as to take your positions
on the pentagram.
414
00:17:39,742 --> 00:17:42,974
Uh, Ward,
415
00:17:43,012 --> 00:17:46,710
a pentagram has five points,
but there's only four bases.
416
00:17:46,749 --> 00:17:49,878
Why do you always
test me, Mitchell?
417
00:17:49,919 --> 00:17:51,911
Just go stand at shortstop.
418
00:17:58,461 --> 00:18:00,259
We don't have your cat.
419
00:18:00,296 --> 00:18:02,162
I'm looking for my son, Bobby.
420
00:18:02,198 --> 00:18:03,166
Is Ward there?
421
00:18:03,199 --> 00:18:06,727
Well, his bicycle isn't
here, so he must be gone.
422
00:18:06,769 --> 00:18:07,737
Want to come in?
423
00:18:07,770 --> 00:18:08,738
Oh...
424
00:18:08,771 --> 00:18:09,771
Whoops.
425
00:18:13,476 --> 00:18:16,708
We humbly come before you
426
00:18:16,746 --> 00:18:19,375
to ask for your magnificent
strength and wisdom...
427
00:18:27,923 --> 00:18:29,892
All right, everybody,
party's over.
428
00:18:30,326 --> 00:18:31,589
Oh, sorry.
429
00:18:31,627 --> 00:18:34,324
I'm looking for a
bunch of warlocks.
430
00:18:34,363 --> 00:18:35,331
Warlocks?
431
00:18:35,364 --> 00:18:37,890
You know, nerds
in capes and stuff.
432
00:18:37,933 --> 00:18:38,901
Oh, yeah.
433
00:18:38,934 --> 00:18:40,960
We kicked them out
about an hour ago.
434
00:18:41,003 --> 00:18:42,528
The tall guy geeked hard.
435
00:18:42,571 --> 00:18:47,805
I cast a spell on
his ass with my foot.
436
00:18:47,843 --> 00:18:51,405
And now, in the melding
of our joint worlds,
437
00:18:51,447 --> 00:18:53,939
our White Wizard
will ingest the elixir...
438
00:18:53,983 --> 00:18:55,417
caninus spiritus.
439
00:18:55,451 --> 00:19:01,220
White Wizard, White Wizard...
440
00:19:01,257 --> 00:19:04,125
White Wizard, White Wizard.
441
00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:05,594
Bobby, now.
442
00:19:05,628 --> 00:19:07,756
Do it now.
443
00:19:07,797 --> 00:19:08,765
Uh...
444
00:19:08,798 --> 00:19:11,358
I don't know if
I'm ready for this.
445
00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:14,598
Every gifted one passes
through the bog of doubt.
446
00:19:14,637 --> 00:19:15,798
Now, do it!
447
00:19:15,838 --> 00:19:20,242
I can't.
448
00:19:20,276 --> 00:19:21,244
You have to.
449
00:19:21,277 --> 00:19:23,610
Do it now, before
the moon wanes.
450
00:19:23,646 --> 00:19:25,046
Yeah, ye-yes, right!
451
00:19:25,081 --> 00:19:26,208
Before the moon wanes.
452
00:19:26,248 --> 00:19:29,309
I'm sorry. I-I just can't do it.
453
00:19:29,352 --> 00:19:34,154
It's gross.
454
00:19:34,190 --> 00:19:36,159
Then we will have
to destroy you.
455
00:19:36,192 --> 00:19:42,154
Menta, besa, lorta, orga.
456
00:19:45,768 --> 00:19:47,600
Menta, besa, lorta.
457
00:20:00,082 --> 00:20:02,551
Oh, my God!
458
00:20:02,585 --> 00:20:05,111
My dad was right about you guys.
459
00:20:05,488 --> 00:20:07,457
Under these cool robes and hats,
460
00:20:07,490 --> 00:20:09,459
you're all just a
bunch of losers.
461
00:20:09,492 --> 00:20:11,256
Silence, insolent one!
462
00:20:11,293 --> 00:20:12,693
Accept your fate.
463
00:20:12,728 --> 00:20:13,696
F'zah!
464
00:20:13,729 --> 00:20:15,527
You guys are so nerdy,
465
00:20:15,564 --> 00:20:19,331
even I feel like
giving you a wedgie.
466
00:20:19,368 --> 00:20:21,803
I was wrong about him.
467
00:20:21,837 --> 00:20:26,673
He is ungifted and deserves
nothing but our censure.
468
00:20:26,709 --> 00:20:28,109
Thanks for the robe, fellas.
469
00:20:28,144 --> 00:20:29,510
Oh, there's some
470
00:20:29,545 --> 00:20:31,104
dragon feathers in the pocket.
471
00:20:31,147 --> 00:20:33,116
Help yourself.
472
00:20:34,617 --> 00:20:37,553
Well, I guess I was able
to make him disappear.
473
00:20:37,586 --> 00:20:42,081
Mitchell, how would you
like to be the chalice holder?
474
00:20:42,124 --> 00:20:43,649
No?
475
00:20:43,692 --> 00:20:44,660
Anybody?
476
00:20:44,693 --> 00:20:47,458
Well, no reason to waste
477
00:20:47,496 --> 00:20:49,692
to perfectly good
caninus spiritus.
478
00:20:49,732 --> 00:20:50,756
Let's find an overpass.
479
00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:51,859
Bobby!
480
00:20:51,901 --> 00:20:54,063
Hey, Dad.
481
00:20:54,103 --> 00:20:55,731
Are you okay?
482
00:20:55,771 --> 00:20:59,469
You, uh, you didn't drink
the dog blood, did you?
483
00:20:59,508 --> 00:21:01,067
Me? Drink dog blood?
484
00:21:01,110 --> 00:21:02,669
That's not my thing.
485
00:21:02,711 --> 00:21:04,339
Well, good for you.
486
00:21:04,380 --> 00:21:06,315
I mean, to tell you the truth,
487
00:21:06,348 --> 00:21:08,647
those guys are
a little pathetic.
488
00:21:08,684 --> 00:21:12,519
Can you believe Ward was
wearing socks with his sandals?
489
00:21:12,555 --> 00:21:13,784
Unbelievable.
490
00:21:13,823 --> 00:21:17,760
I guess I still need to find
exactly what my thing is.
491
00:21:17,793 --> 00:21:19,352
Well, that's okay, son.
492
00:21:19,395 --> 00:21:20,761
You've still got time.
493
00:21:20,796 --> 00:21:23,356
I didn't really find
football till high school.
494
00:21:23,399 --> 00:21:25,630
And I was in my twenties
when I found propane.
495
00:21:25,668 --> 00:21:29,230
What's wrong with
wearing socks with sandals?
496
00:21:29,271 --> 00:21:35,233
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
497
00:22:08,611 --> 00:22:11,581
Resplendent!