1
00:00:02,519 --> 00:00:07,116
Captioning sponsored by FOX
BROADCASTING COMPANY
2
00:00:07,157 --> 00:00:10,650
and TWENTIETH
CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
3
00:00:32,482 --> 00:00:34,451
"X" equals two...
4
00:00:34,484 --> 00:00:37,454
Come on, reach up higher.
5
00:00:37,487 --> 00:00:40,116
"Y" equals seven.
6
00:00:40,157 --> 00:00:41,955
Your butt equals ten.
7
00:00:41,992 --> 00:00:44,052
Why don't you
take a picture, Stu?
8
00:00:44,094 --> 00:00:45,960
It would last longer.
9
00:00:45,996 --> 00:00:47,794
Okay. Work it.
10
00:00:49,900 --> 00:00:54,998
"X" equals jerk,
"Y" equals pig...
11
00:00:55,038 --> 00:00:56,700
Hey, you kicked me.
12
00:00:56,740 --> 00:00:57,901
I'm sorry.
13
00:00:57,941 --> 00:00:59,569
I closed my eyes,
and I was thinking
14
00:00:59,610 --> 00:01:02,307
of those stupid guys
in my math class.
15
00:01:02,346 --> 00:01:04,281
Oh, and the guy
in the parking lot,
16
00:01:04,314 --> 00:01:08,479
and that volunteer pool cleaner
17
00:01:08,518 --> 00:01:09,963
who always comes
by when I'm swimming.
18
00:01:09,987 --> 00:01:11,080
Tell me about it.
19
00:01:11,121 --> 00:01:13,955
I once fell for a free
breast examination in a bar.
20
00:01:13,991 --> 00:01:16,483
It just makes me
so... ooh, so... mmm!
21
00:01:16,526 --> 00:01:19,985
There's nothing in the rule book
22
00:01:20,030 --> 00:01:21,259
that says a robot
23
00:01:21,298 --> 00:01:23,267
can't play in the Frat Olympics.
24
00:01:23,300 --> 00:01:25,997
Hey, why don't the nerds
just move across town
25
00:01:26,036 --> 00:01:29,097
instead of living right next
door to the jock fraternity?
26
00:01:29,139 --> 00:01:30,107
That way, nobody
27
00:01:30,140 --> 00:01:32,109
will be constantly
breaking their gadgets.
28
00:01:32,142 --> 00:01:33,576
No, no, that's wrong, Bobby.
29
00:01:33,610 --> 00:01:37,047
If the nerds stood up
to them once in a while
30
00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:40,482
they wouldn't get their
gadgets broken in the first place.
31
00:01:40,517 --> 00:01:42,486
Listen, if you don't
fight for yourself
32
00:01:42,519 --> 00:01:44,488
you're never going to
get anyone's respect.
33
00:01:44,521 --> 00:01:47,389
Yeah, there's nothing worse
than people not respecting you.
34
00:01:47,424 --> 00:01:49,552
Every time I get hooted at,
35
00:01:49,593 --> 00:01:52,062
I have to take an
hour of Tae Bo.
36
00:01:52,095 --> 00:01:54,758
Tae Bo? Is that that
new Oriental way
37
00:01:54,798 --> 00:01:57,461
of moving your couch around?
38
00:01:57,501 --> 00:02:00,369
Nuh-uh. It's an exercise class
where you punch and you kick
39
00:02:00,404 --> 00:02:02,115
till you can't think of
anything else no more.
40
00:02:02,139 --> 00:02:04,699
No, actually, you punch,
kick, kick, squat, squat,
41
00:02:04,741 --> 00:02:07,336
rest, two, three, all
to music, and kick.
42
00:02:07,377 --> 00:02:09,505
Oh, it's dancing.
43
00:02:09,546 --> 00:02:11,037
Huh. That sounds...
44
00:02:11,081 --> 00:02:12,481
No.
45
00:02:13,784 --> 00:02:15,224
Uh, Mr. Strickland,
a couple of folks
46
00:02:15,252 --> 00:02:17,153
from the Chamber
of Commerce are here
47
00:02:17,187 --> 00:02:19,315
to thank you for your
work with the orphans.
48
00:02:19,356 --> 00:02:21,291
Orphans? Chamber of Commerce?
49
00:02:21,325 --> 00:02:26,354
You are so modest, sir.
50
00:02:26,396 --> 00:02:29,560
Well, looky who's
back from rehab.
51
00:02:29,599 --> 00:02:32,296
It's, uh, it's my
little baby brother.
52
00:02:32,336 --> 00:02:37,138
I want my money, Buck.
53
00:02:37,174 --> 00:02:40,975
Boy, you never were
much with the ladies, but...
54
00:02:41,011 --> 00:02:42,479
Ow, ow, ow!
55
00:02:42,512 --> 00:02:45,346
Watch it there, Shrek,
that's a Eye-talian suit.
56
00:02:45,382 --> 00:02:46,850
Greta ain't my girlfriend.
57
00:02:46,883 --> 00:02:49,011
She's a lady boxer I manage.
58
00:02:49,052 --> 00:02:51,988
Although we did
get dirty one time.
59
00:02:53,323 --> 00:02:55,019
All right, all right, I'll pay.
60
00:02:55,058 --> 00:02:57,220
Donna, put a hold on
them payroll checks.
61
00:02:57,260 --> 00:03:01,391
You putting the squeeze
on me really takes me back.
62
00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:03,024
Hey, I know a new girlie club
63
00:03:03,066 --> 00:03:05,968
where we could ogle some
ladies... no cover charge.
64
00:03:14,644 --> 00:03:17,204
Whoo-whee! What a workout!
65
00:03:17,247 --> 00:03:22,015
I'm sweating like a lumberjack.
66
00:03:24,654 --> 00:03:26,555
Well, hey, there, Luanne.
67
00:03:26,590 --> 00:03:27,751
Good workout.
68
00:03:27,791 --> 00:03:29,487
Yeah, it looked good from here.
69
00:03:29,526 --> 00:03:30,687
If you were looking at me
70
00:03:30,727 --> 00:03:31,751
I'm going to have to have
71
00:03:31,795 --> 00:03:34,128
both of your gym
memberships revoked.
72
00:03:34,164 --> 00:03:37,566
And I would hate to do that
because you both look terrible.
73
00:03:37,601 --> 00:03:38,728
Uh, no, no, no.
74
00:03:38,769 --> 00:03:40,101
W-We're, we're just, uh, uh...
75
00:03:40,137 --> 00:03:41,435
Scouting talent.
76
00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:43,940
Yeah, I'm a boxing promoter
77
00:03:43,974 --> 00:03:46,466
and, uh, we're just
here scouting talent.
78
00:03:46,510 --> 00:03:49,810
I'd love to see you in the ring.
79
00:03:49,846 --> 00:03:50,814
Boxing.
80
00:03:50,847 --> 00:03:53,248
Huh. My mama's in prison
81
00:03:53,283 --> 00:03:54,774
'cause she fights so much.
82
00:03:54,818 --> 00:03:56,787
Do you think that
there's some way
83
00:03:56,820 --> 00:03:58,914
her genes could have
been passed down to me?
84
00:03:58,955 --> 00:03:59,923
Wait a minute, Randy.
85
00:03:59,956 --> 00:04:01,254
Luanne here might make
86
00:04:01,291 --> 00:04:03,522
a really good
opponent for Greta.
87
00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:06,689
Yeah, we could put
up posters all over town.
88
00:04:06,730 --> 00:04:08,699
Call it "Beauty and the Beast."
89
00:04:08,732 --> 00:04:10,291
Which one am I?
90
00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:15,533
Because if it's okay with
you, I'd like to be the beast.
91
00:04:16,706 --> 00:04:17,935
Did I scare you?
92
00:04:17,974 --> 00:04:21,536
Okay, guess who I
ran into at the gym?
93
00:04:21,578 --> 00:04:22,546
Buck Strickland.
94
00:04:22,579 --> 00:04:24,741
He watched me do Tae Bo
95
00:04:24,781 --> 00:04:28,479
and he thinks that I'd
make a great boxer.
96
00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:30,487
Look, Luanne, I
fought at the "Y."
97
00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:32,614
Trust me, you are no boxer.
98
00:04:32,656 --> 00:04:33,656
Y'uh-huh.
99
00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:36,660
Friday at midnight in the
back room at Sugarfoot's.
100
00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:37,693
And I am going
101
00:04:37,727 --> 00:04:39,423
to stand up and fight
102
00:04:39,463 --> 00:04:42,194
and be respected
just like you said.
103
00:04:42,232 --> 00:04:44,201
Luanne, the kind
of women that box
104
00:04:44,234 --> 00:04:47,136
don't have 50 stuffed
animals on their bed.
105
00:04:47,170 --> 00:04:49,196
Hey, why don't you
spend Friday night
106
00:04:49,239 --> 00:04:51,208
watching one of
those movies you like
107
00:04:51,241 --> 00:04:54,109
where the people fall in love,
and then one of them dies?
108
00:04:54,144 --> 00:04:56,943
Oh, Luanne, you
have to understand
109
00:04:56,980 --> 00:05:00,747
your uncle only
wants the best for you.
110
00:05:00,784 --> 00:05:04,721
That said, everything he just
told you: complete jackassery.
111
00:05:11,394 --> 00:05:15,126
Dear Lord, one of your
creatures may be hurt tonight.
112
00:05:15,499 --> 00:05:18,469
Please let it be
the other creature.
113
00:05:18,568 --> 00:05:19,763
Amen.
114
00:05:23,807 --> 00:05:28,211
Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay,
Luanne, looking good.
115
00:05:28,245 --> 00:05:29,577
Yeah, now, just remember,
116
00:05:29,613 --> 00:05:33,812
the key to boxing is
to jump up and down.
117
00:05:33,850 --> 00:05:36,149
Yeah, keep bouncing.
118
00:05:36,186 --> 00:05:38,519
Bounce and weave.
119
00:05:38,555 --> 00:05:39,921
Okay, folks
120
00:05:39,956 --> 00:05:41,083
you paid your moneys.
121
00:05:41,124 --> 00:05:47,223
Here come the honeys.
122
00:05:47,264 --> 00:05:54,967
The Beauty and the Beast.
123
00:06:00,544 --> 00:06:01,568
Whoa-whoa-whoa.
124
00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:03,773
Watch the kicks,
or I'll disqualify you
125
00:06:03,813 --> 00:06:09,150
and you'll lose
your free rib dinner.
126
00:06:09,185 --> 00:06:13,054
Tell Joseph and Dale if
he's listening good night
127
00:06:13,089 --> 00:06:14,421
and get to bed.
128
00:06:14,457 --> 00:06:17,359
I got a live feed with the
hostess at Sugarfoot's.
129
00:06:17,394 --> 00:06:19,659
She's got Luanne's fight
on the speakerphone.
130
00:06:19,696 --> 00:06:21,824
Oh, God, she went
through with it?
131
00:06:34,544 --> 00:06:37,241
Luanne, no!
132
00:06:40,951 --> 00:06:43,352
One, two, three, four...
133
00:06:43,386 --> 00:06:45,150
She's out.
134
00:06:45,188 --> 00:06:47,214
Whoa.
135
00:06:47,257 --> 00:06:48,054
I did it!
136
00:06:48,091 --> 00:06:49,423
I won, I won, I won!
137
00:06:49,459 --> 00:06:50,459
You tagged her good.
138
00:06:50,493 --> 00:06:51,688
What a left hook.
139
00:06:51,728 --> 00:06:52,696
Oh, yeah.
140
00:06:52,729 --> 00:06:53,929
You didn't think I could do it
141
00:06:53,964 --> 00:06:55,023
but I did it.
142
00:06:55,065 --> 00:06:56,158
Great job, Luanne.
143
00:06:56,199 --> 00:06:57,443
You want to fight
some more for us?
144
00:06:57,467 --> 00:06:59,868
I got a contract right here.
145
00:06:59,903 --> 00:07:00,996
It's very fair.
146
00:07:02,038 --> 00:07:03,006
Oh, my gosh.
147
00:07:03,039 --> 00:07:04,803
Did you hear that, Uncle Hank?
148
00:07:04,841 --> 00:07:06,810
They want me to be
a professional fighter.
149
00:07:06,843 --> 00:07:10,109
Ooh! I'm a professional fighter!
150
00:07:14,718 --> 00:07:18,348
Mmm, women boxing, huh?
151
00:07:18,388 --> 00:07:20,186
If they wear gloves
152
00:07:20,223 --> 00:07:22,192
how do they scratch each other?
153
00:07:22,225 --> 00:07:24,251
No, Bill, they
punch pretty hard.
154
00:07:24,294 --> 00:07:26,263
And Luanne was really something.
155
00:07:26,296 --> 00:07:27,264
I tell you what.
156
00:07:27,297 --> 00:07:29,926
Dale fights more like a
girl than she did last night.
157
00:07:29,966 --> 00:07:31,696
So I bit a cashier.
158
00:07:31,735 --> 00:07:33,260
I'm a street fighter.
159
00:07:34,304 --> 00:07:35,304
Luanne, I always hoped
160
00:07:35,338 --> 00:07:38,069
to give my old boxing
gloves from the "Y" to Bobby
161
00:07:38,108 --> 00:07:39,474
but, uh, well
162
00:07:39,509 --> 00:07:40,909
you know.
163
00:07:40,944 --> 00:07:42,674
Anyway, I'd be honored
164
00:07:42,712 --> 00:07:45,079
if you'd wear these
in your next match.
165
00:07:45,115 --> 00:07:46,083
Oh
166
00:07:46,116 --> 00:07:47,084
Uncle Hank.
167
00:07:47,117 --> 00:07:51,111
Every time I punch
someone in the face
168
00:07:51,154 --> 00:07:52,417
I'll think of you.
169
00:07:52,455 --> 00:07:53,423
To Luanne!
170
00:07:53,456 --> 00:07:55,982
Getting rich off a pretty lady's
171
00:07:56,026 --> 00:07:58,655
even better than
sleeping with one.
172
00:07:58,695 --> 00:08:00,425
Well, neck and neck.
173
00:08:00,463 --> 00:08:01,761
Well, lookee here.
174
00:08:01,798 --> 00:08:05,326
Now, I know it
must have killed you
175
00:08:05,368 --> 00:08:07,564
to throw that fight, Biggun
176
00:08:07,604 --> 00:08:11,564
but it was one hell
of a convincing dive.
177
00:08:11,608 --> 00:08:13,042
If you had any looks
178
00:08:13,076 --> 00:08:15,045
you could be a
Hollywood actress.
179
00:08:15,078 --> 00:08:16,046
Thank you.
180
00:08:16,079 --> 00:08:17,775
Here's your flop fee.
181
00:08:17,814 --> 00:08:20,807
Don't touch anything
on the way out, huh?
182
00:08:20,850 --> 00:08:22,113
Times have changed.
183
00:08:22,152 --> 00:08:24,121
Trained boxers
willing to take a dive
184
00:08:24,154 --> 00:08:25,679
are too gotdang expensive.
185
00:08:25,722 --> 00:08:29,420
Hey, Bora, you'd take a
punch for $100, wouldn't you?
186
00:08:29,459 --> 00:08:30,427
No, sir.
187
00:08:30,460 --> 00:08:31,428
Two hundred?
188
00:08:31,461 --> 00:08:33,430
Yes, sir, I would.
189
00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:38,368
Okay, Luanne
190
00:08:38,401 --> 00:08:42,338
Buck says this Bora the
Slammin' Slavic is nine and four
191
00:08:42,372 --> 00:08:45,570
and she used to pull a dogsled
back in her native Croatia.
192
00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:51,377
When my fans are
out there respecting me
193
00:08:51,414 --> 00:08:54,578
I feel like a strong, powerful,
ooh, independent woman.
194
00:08:54,617 --> 00:08:55,585
Luanne
195
00:08:55,618 --> 00:08:56,586
I brought you some tassels.
196
00:08:56,619 --> 00:08:57,587
Tassels?
197
00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:59,646
Yeah, it's a fight
game, boy scout.
198
00:08:59,689 --> 00:09:01,658
We need a little
show for the people.
199
00:09:01,691 --> 00:09:02,659
Oh, I get it.
200
00:09:02,692 --> 00:09:03,660
A little flash.
201
00:09:03,693 --> 00:09:05,855
Like Hector "Macho" Camacho.
202
00:09:13,336 --> 00:09:14,497
Light on your feet, Luanne.
203
00:09:14,537 --> 00:09:16,529
She's one of them
Russian brawlers.
204
00:09:17,607 --> 00:09:20,771
Yeah, yeah, good, Luanne, good.
205
00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:25,544
Now, hop like a
bunny, hop like a bunny!
206
00:09:25,582 --> 00:09:30,885
Oh, uh, well, you know,
like, uh, Muhammad Ali says,
207
00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:35,119
"Hop like a bunny,
sting like a bee."
208
00:09:35,158 --> 00:09:38,617
Uh, that was "Float
like a butterfly," sir.
209
00:09:38,928 --> 00:09:39,928
Okay, now, Luanne...
210
00:09:39,996 --> 00:09:41,692
Southpaw, southpaw!
211
00:10:13,363 --> 00:10:14,695
Now, Luanne
212
00:10:14,731 --> 00:10:16,063
you beat some tough fighters
213
00:10:16,099 --> 00:10:19,092
and I think you're ready
for a step up in competition.
214
00:10:19,135 --> 00:10:21,604
Yeah! You know, I was reading
215
00:10:21,638 --> 00:10:23,607
in the Guinness
Book of World Records
216
00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:25,666
about a woman who is 7'7".
217
00:10:25,708 --> 00:10:27,233
You think she'll fight me?
218
00:10:27,277 --> 00:10:29,439
Uh, maybe, but I was thinking
219
00:10:29,479 --> 00:10:32,074
about the best female
fighter in Texas...
220
00:10:32,115 --> 00:10:35,483
George Foreman's
daughter, Freeda Foreman.
221
00:10:35,518 --> 00:10:37,487
Seems she's
managed by her father
222
00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:39,318
and four brothers named George.
223
00:10:39,355 --> 00:10:41,324
Uh, uh, I already called
the Foreman camp.
224
00:10:41,357 --> 00:10:45,852
They told me they want
nothing to do with Luanne.
225
00:10:45,895 --> 00:10:47,887
Yup, they are ducking us.
226
00:10:47,931 --> 00:10:48,626
But don't worry.
227
00:10:48,665 --> 00:10:50,861
We'll line up another
topnotch opponent.
228
00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:53,836
Has the pretzel lady
gotten back to us yet?
229
00:10:58,074 --> 00:10:59,474
I'm sorry I'm late.
230
00:10:59,509 --> 00:11:01,603
I couldn't get
used to the heels.
231
00:11:01,644 --> 00:11:02,737
What is that?
232
00:11:02,779 --> 00:11:05,112
It's my outfit for
my next match.
233
00:11:05,148 --> 00:11:08,175
Mr. Strickland says that if I ever
want to fight Freeda Foreman
234
00:11:08,218 --> 00:11:10,346
I need an image.
235
00:11:10,386 --> 00:11:12,116
So... ♪ ta-da! ♪
236
00:11:12,155 --> 00:11:14,420
I'm a fighting French maid.
237
00:11:15,792 --> 00:11:17,420
Dang it, I thought I
made myself clear
238
00:11:17,460 --> 00:11:19,793
when I told him no boxing thong.
239
00:11:19,829 --> 00:11:21,229
I'm going to go talk to Buck.
240
00:11:21,264 --> 00:11:22,357
You need to practice
241
00:11:22,398 --> 00:11:24,264
so, get out of
that stupid outfit.
242
00:11:24,300 --> 00:11:25,495
And for God's sake,
243
00:11:25,535 --> 00:11:27,800
don't leave it where
Bobby can find it.
244
00:11:27,837 --> 00:11:30,238
Luanne, if you want to be
punched by Freeda Foreman
245
00:11:30,273 --> 00:11:33,732
then Peggy Hill is the one
that can make it happen.
246
00:11:33,776 --> 00:11:35,972
Come on, let's go pick a fight.
247
00:11:36,012 --> 00:11:39,141
It's just that Luanne
and I are trying to build
248
00:11:39,182 --> 00:11:40,411
a legitimate boxing career.
249
00:11:40,450 --> 00:11:41,713
Oh, Mr. Buck.
250
00:11:41,751 --> 00:11:43,617
Uh, yeah, I got you, Hank.
251
00:11:43,653 --> 00:11:46,487
No skimpy costumes, no
dressing her like a rabbit.
252
00:11:46,522 --> 00:11:47,751
Thanks for coming by.
253
00:11:47,790 --> 00:11:49,986
Sir, Mr. Randy is
throwing up again.
254
00:11:50,026 --> 00:11:50,994
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
255
00:11:51,027 --> 00:11:51,995
Thanks, uh, Penelope.
256
00:11:52,028 --> 00:11:52,996
Wait a minute.
257
00:11:53,029 --> 00:11:54,998
You're supposed to be
The Slamming Slavic.
258
00:11:55,031 --> 00:11:56,363
But you're just Buck's maid.
259
00:11:56,399 --> 00:11:57,367
Buck's maid?
260
00:11:57,400 --> 00:11:58,629
All right, all right,
261
00:11:58,668 --> 00:12:01,137
you caught me
with my pants down.
262
00:12:01,170 --> 00:12:02,763
I threw patsies in there
263
00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:04,671
to protect your
pretty little niece.
264
00:12:04,707 --> 00:12:07,541
Oh, God, you mean every
fight has been a fraud?
265
00:12:07,577 --> 00:12:09,045
What about Helga the Hammer?
266
00:12:09,078 --> 00:12:13,243
Librarian. Never
been in the ring.
267
00:12:23,893 --> 00:12:27,193
Okay, Luanne, now you have
to trash-talk and embarrass her.
268
00:12:27,230 --> 00:12:29,563
It's the only way she'll
accept a fight with you.
269
00:12:29,599 --> 00:12:30,567
You ready?
270
00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:31,568
Uh-huh.
271
00:12:31,601 --> 00:12:32,569
Hey, Freeda Foreman!
272
00:12:32,602 --> 00:12:33,900
Everybody knows you're nothing
273
00:12:33,937 --> 00:12:35,769
but a fraidy cat.
274
00:12:35,805 --> 00:12:38,104
Wow, you have pretty eyes.
275
00:12:38,141 --> 00:12:40,440
Who the heck are you?
276
00:12:40,476 --> 00:12:41,444
Luanne Platter.
277
00:12:41,477 --> 00:12:43,708
It's nice to meet you.
278
00:12:43,746 --> 00:12:44,714
Yeah, whatever.
279
00:12:44,747 --> 00:12:48,377
Hey! Yeah, you,
you big can of beans!
280
00:12:48,418 --> 00:12:51,183
You give Luanne here a match!
281
00:12:51,220 --> 00:12:53,086
Unless you're scared, huh?
282
00:12:53,122 --> 00:12:54,488
Are you scared?
283
00:12:54,524 --> 00:12:56,823
Yeah, you're not a champ.
284
00:12:56,859 --> 00:12:58,225
You're a chump!
285
00:12:58,261 --> 00:12:59,627
Chump, chump, chumpity-chump!
286
00:12:59,662 --> 00:13:01,028
Shut up, Grandma-hair.
287
00:13:01,064 --> 00:13:02,896
Freeda! Oh, Freeda!
288
00:13:02,932 --> 00:13:04,195
♪ Free-hee-hee-da! ♪
289
00:13:04,233 --> 00:13:06,634
All right, you want to fight?
290
00:13:06,669 --> 00:13:08,900
You got a fight.
291
00:13:08,938 --> 00:13:10,907
And when I get done
whippin' up on her
292
00:13:10,940 --> 00:13:12,670
I'm going to come
looking for you.
293
00:13:12,709 --> 00:13:15,941
What'd I do?
294
00:13:26,022 --> 00:13:27,490
Uncle Hank! Uncle Hank!
295
00:13:27,523 --> 00:13:28,821
You'll never believe it!
296
00:13:28,858 --> 00:13:31,123
We got a fight with
Freeda Foreman!
297
00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:32,492
What? No.
298
00:13:32,528 --> 00:13:34,690
I know, it's amazing, isn't it?
299
00:13:34,731 --> 00:13:36,427
Now, we better train.
300
00:13:36,466 --> 00:13:38,264
She's much bigger than me.
301
00:13:38,301 --> 00:13:41,965
I think she's even
bigger than you.
302
00:13:46,776 --> 00:13:49,746
Well, we cannot tell her
that her fights are fixed.
303
00:13:49,779 --> 00:13:51,111
It would wreck her world.
304
00:13:51,147 --> 00:13:53,275
Well, maybe she'll
get food poisoning.
305
00:13:53,316 --> 00:13:55,285
You gave it to me that one time.
306
00:13:55,318 --> 00:13:56,286
You could do it again.
307
00:13:56,319 --> 00:13:58,288
Excuse me for
making chicken tartar.
308
00:13:58,321 --> 00:14:03,055
I could marry Freeda Foreman
309
00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:05,061
and refuse to let her fight.
310
00:14:05,094 --> 00:14:06,062
May I tell you what?
311
00:14:06,095 --> 00:14:08,073
Talking about that dang
ole oldest champ in the world
312
00:14:08,097 --> 00:14:10,066
two times wearing
that ole crown, man,
313
00:14:10,099 --> 00:14:12,068
but talking about
that ole grease,
314
00:14:12,101 --> 00:14:14,070
talking about on five
pounds since I got
315
00:14:14,103 --> 00:14:15,071
on that lost ole thing, man.
316
00:14:15,104 --> 00:14:16,072
You're right.
317
00:14:16,105 --> 00:14:17,073
George Foreman's a minister
318
00:14:17,106 --> 00:14:18,074
and a family man.
319
00:14:18,107 --> 00:14:19,075
He'll listen to reason.
320
00:14:19,108 --> 00:14:21,077
Boomhauer does it again.
321
00:14:26,315 --> 00:14:27,544
So if you like your food
322
00:14:27,583 --> 00:14:29,108
lean, mean and tasty,
323
00:14:29,152 --> 00:14:31,485
don't forget to pick up
one on your way out.
324
00:14:33,689 --> 00:14:36,386
Mr. Foreman, sir, I
know you don't know me,
325
00:14:36,426 --> 00:14:38,395
but I'd like a
minute of your time.
326
00:14:38,428 --> 00:14:39,396
You want a grill.
327
00:14:39,429 --> 00:14:42,422
Uh, no, sir, I'm pretty
well set for grills.
328
00:14:42,465 --> 00:14:44,366
I sell them for a living
329
00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:47,370
along with propane and
propane accessories.
330
00:14:47,403 --> 00:14:49,599
Good man. What can I do for you?
331
00:14:49,639 --> 00:14:51,301
Well, my niece, Luanne,
332
00:14:51,340 --> 00:14:53,673
challenged your
daughter to a boxing match
333
00:14:53,709 --> 00:14:56,076
and she's not even
in Freeda's league
334
00:14:56,112 --> 00:14:58,081
but I haven't been
able to bring myself
335
00:14:58,114 --> 00:15:00,083
to tell her that,
so I was thinking
336
00:15:00,116 --> 00:15:02,085
if you guys can
drop out of the fight
337
00:15:02,118 --> 00:15:04,087
Luanne won't get
her feelings hurt...
338
00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:06,089
Or her face hurt,
for that matter.
339
00:15:06,122 --> 00:15:08,091
I respect that you want
to protect your niece.
340
00:15:08,124 --> 00:15:10,102
You know, I didn't want my
daughter to become a boxer.
341
00:15:10,126 --> 00:15:12,857
Neither did Muhammad, but
Joe Frazier, on the other hand,
342
00:15:12,895 --> 00:15:15,057
he had his baby
girl boxing in the crib.
343
00:15:15,098 --> 00:15:17,329
So you'll cancel
the fight, Champ?
344
00:15:17,366 --> 00:15:18,334
You got it.
345
00:15:18,367 --> 00:15:19,835
Thank you. You're acting
346
00:15:19,869 --> 00:15:23,271
just like I'd expect
a gold medalist to.
347
00:15:23,306 --> 00:15:24,274
Hey,
348
00:15:24,307 --> 00:15:26,276
maybe there's something
you can do for me.
349
00:15:26,309 --> 00:15:28,220
How'd you feel about
carrying my grill in your shop?
350
00:15:28,244 --> 00:15:31,874
Oh, uh, sorry, we have
a strict policy about that...
351
00:15:31,914 --> 00:15:33,348
"No novelty grills."
352
00:15:33,382 --> 00:15:34,645
Novelty grill!
353
00:15:34,684 --> 00:15:36,653
Yeah. You know,
no offense, but...
354
00:15:36,686 --> 00:15:38,814
your grill is
kinda like an iron.
355
00:15:38,855 --> 00:15:41,347
You're calling
my grill an iron?!
356
00:15:41,390 --> 00:15:43,916
I've been hit below the belt
before, but nothing like this.
357
00:15:43,960 --> 00:15:45,360
I think it's a great product
358
00:15:45,394 --> 00:15:48,387
for dieters or little girls
who want to play barbecue
359
00:15:48,431 --> 00:15:51,424
but you can't compare it
to a propane-powered grill.
360
00:15:51,467 --> 00:15:52,435
Fight's on!
361
00:15:52,468 --> 00:15:53,436
What? No.
362
00:15:53,469 --> 00:15:54,937
I said fight's on.
363
00:15:54,971 --> 00:15:56,530
What's the matter?
364
00:15:56,572 --> 00:15:59,064
Smelling all that propane
caused you brain damage?
365
00:15:59,108 --> 00:16:00,599
That's what it does, you know.
366
00:16:00,643 --> 00:16:02,703
No. That is not accurate.
367
00:16:02,745 --> 00:16:05,544
Those studies were all
done on sick monkeys
368
00:16:05,581 --> 00:16:09,416
and at least my grill
isn't sold in Housewares.
369
00:16:09,452 --> 00:16:12,889
Let it go, Daddy.
370
00:16:12,922 --> 00:16:14,049
He ain't worth it.
371
00:16:14,090 --> 00:16:19,495
You're right. George Three,
get this man out of my face.
372
00:16:24,901 --> 00:16:26,130
I'm sorry I'm late.
373
00:16:26,169 --> 00:16:28,661
I ran farther than
I ever have before
374
00:16:28,704 --> 00:16:33,972
so look out, Freeda Foreman.
375
00:16:34,010 --> 00:16:36,878
Uh... Luanne, those
fights you had were fixed.
376
00:16:36,913 --> 00:16:41,248
The fighters were
fixed? Like my puppy?
377
00:16:41,284 --> 00:16:44,345
No, you see, Buck
knew that men would pay
378
00:16:44,387 --> 00:16:46,879
to see you dance around the ring
379
00:16:46,923 --> 00:16:49,154
so he found a bunch
of cleaning ladies
380
00:16:49,192 --> 00:16:51,252
for you to fight and knock out.
381
00:16:51,294 --> 00:16:52,990
But I'm a great boxer.
382
00:16:53,029 --> 00:16:56,056
That's why the fans are
always yelling and hollering
383
00:16:56,098 --> 00:17:00,092
and... throwing... dollar bills
384
00:17:00,136 --> 00:17:03,504
and... oh, God, am I stupid.
385
00:17:03,539 --> 00:17:05,974
So, uh, you can't fight Freeda.
386
00:17:06,008 --> 00:17:07,169
She's a real athlete.
387
00:17:07,210 --> 00:17:08,473
She'll kill you.
388
00:17:08,511 --> 00:17:11,481
You could take a dive,
like Bora and the others.
389
00:17:11,514 --> 00:17:14,348
Then you'd still get paid, at
least 'cause you showed up.
390
00:17:14,383 --> 00:17:16,682
No. That's cheating
391
00:17:16,719 --> 00:17:19,211
and I got too much
self-respect for that,
392
00:17:19,255 --> 00:17:22,692
even if every guy in the
world thinks I'm a bimbo.
393
00:17:22,725 --> 00:17:25,354
Guys suck.
394
00:17:28,331 --> 00:17:30,095
I didn't see you
in Tae Bo today.
395
00:17:30,132 --> 00:17:32,101
Oh, that's probably
because I wasn't there.
396
00:17:32,134 --> 00:17:34,569
I don't like Tae Bo anymore.
397
00:17:34,604 --> 00:17:38,006
It reminds me that
I'm not really a boxer.
398
00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:39,099
Oh, I wish I could quit.
399
00:17:39,141 --> 00:17:43,044
But if I don't go, my
modeling agent yells at me.
400
00:17:43,079 --> 00:17:44,103
He's also my husband.
401
00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:47,082
Hey, I can hook you up
with him if you're interested.
402
00:17:47,116 --> 00:17:49,813
But just look out because
he gets a little grabby.
403
00:17:49,852 --> 00:17:52,378
No, I want my next
job to be something
404
00:17:52,421 --> 00:17:54,117
that men will respect me for.
405
00:17:54,156 --> 00:17:57,058
Men are never
going to respect us.
406
00:17:57,093 --> 00:17:59,460
That's why we've got to use
what God... or the surgeon...
407
00:17:59,495 --> 00:18:03,057
Gave us to get what
they got... money.
408
00:18:03,099 --> 00:18:05,091
So you'd do anything for money?
409
00:18:05,134 --> 00:18:06,534
Or a car.
410
00:18:06,569 --> 00:18:08,470
So, if you were me,
would you take a dive
411
00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:11,269
against Freeda
Foreman for $1,500?
412
00:18:11,307 --> 00:18:13,606
Or a car.
413
00:18:18,614 --> 00:18:19,946
All right, now, raise your hand.
414
00:18:19,982 --> 00:18:21,814
Which one of you
fellows is the bachelor?
415
00:18:21,851 --> 00:18:26,255
Hey, hey, Luanne with you?
416
00:18:26,289 --> 00:18:27,848
She is not going
to show tonight.
417
00:18:27,890 --> 00:18:28,550
She asked herself,
418
00:18:28,591 --> 00:18:32,426
"What would Jesus do
if He were a lady boxer?"
419
00:18:32,461 --> 00:18:35,226
The answer: not show.
420
00:18:35,264 --> 00:18:41,431
Now... Oh, oh, there she is.
421
00:18:41,470 --> 00:18:42,563
Luanne?
422
00:18:42,605 --> 00:18:44,574
Okay, I'm ready to
take my dive now.
423
00:18:44,607 --> 00:18:46,576
You promise the
check will clear, right?
424
00:18:46,609 --> 00:18:47,577
Yeah, eventually.
425
00:18:47,610 --> 00:18:48,236
Now, don't get hit.
426
00:18:48,277 --> 00:18:49,836
You're fighting
my aunt next week.
427
00:18:49,879 --> 00:18:51,279
Oh, and those
gentlemen over there
428
00:18:51,314 --> 00:18:53,283
are here for a bachelor party.
429
00:18:53,316 --> 00:18:58,186
Now, come on, give them
a big ol' bouncy "hello."
430
00:19:10,966 --> 00:19:13,333
So you can see,
my grill is perfect
431
00:19:13,369 --> 00:19:15,099
for a big man like yourself.
432
00:19:15,137 --> 00:19:19,768
I've told you six times,
I'm not interested.
433
00:19:25,081 --> 00:19:28,984
Bounce, baby! Whoo-hee!
434
00:19:32,455 --> 00:19:33,423
One!
435
00:19:33,456 --> 00:19:36,426
Two! Hey, I got some singles!
436
00:19:36,459 --> 00:19:40,419
Three! Four! Oh, I
cannot watch this.
437
00:19:40,463 --> 00:19:43,297
Say my name!
438
00:19:43,332 --> 00:19:44,994
Say my name!
439
00:19:45,034 --> 00:19:45,865
It's Bradley!
440
00:19:45,901 --> 00:19:47,836
Spank yourself!
441
00:19:47,870 --> 00:19:49,065
Eight!
442
00:19:49,105 --> 00:19:51,904
Nine!
443
00:19:53,175 --> 00:19:54,768
What are you doing?
444
00:19:54,810 --> 00:19:55,903
Stay down! Stay down!
445
00:19:55,945 --> 00:20:00,645
Oh, my God, she's
going to get killed!
446
00:20:11,527 --> 00:20:12,825
Oh, what the heck is she doing?
447
00:20:12,862 --> 00:20:17,266
We're taking her picture
for the calendar this week.
448
00:20:19,135 --> 00:20:20,797
If I could take a
punch like that,
449
00:20:20,836 --> 00:20:23,431
I may have been able to think
of a name besides "George"
450
00:20:23,472 --> 00:20:24,735
for all my sons.
451
00:20:24,774 --> 00:20:27,334
That gal's all skull
and no brains.
452
00:20:27,376 --> 00:20:30,972
She's like Joe
Frazier with lipstick.
453
00:20:38,687 --> 00:20:39,985
Way to go, Luanne.
454
00:20:40,022 --> 00:20:43,823
Luanne, southpaw! Southpaw!
455
00:20:47,096 --> 00:20:48,758
Whoo-hoo! Whoo-whoo!
456
00:20:48,798 --> 00:20:50,164
Luanne! Luanne!
457
00:20:50,199 --> 00:20:53,931
Oh, yeah! That's
the Platter in her!
458
00:20:54,470 --> 00:20:56,098
Man, she is tough.
459
00:20:56,138 --> 00:20:57,106
Stick and move.
460
00:20:57,139 --> 00:20:58,232
Use your left.
461
00:20:58,274 --> 00:20:59,936
Don't give up, Luanne!
462
00:20:59,975 --> 00:21:01,807
You can do it!
463
00:21:06,382 --> 00:21:11,844
Stu, what did I tell you
about taking pictures of me?
464
00:21:11,887 --> 00:21:12,752
Whoa, whoa.
465
00:21:12,788 --> 00:21:14,484
No, I wanted a picture with you.
466
00:21:14,523 --> 00:21:15,650
I saw your fight.
467
00:21:15,691 --> 00:21:17,853
You lasted three rounds
with Freeda Foreman.
468
00:21:17,893 --> 00:21:20,829
You are one tough chick.
469
00:21:22,231 --> 00:21:23,529
Thank you.
470
00:21:23,566 --> 00:21:27,662
That's all I ever
wanted to hear.
471
00:21:31,607 --> 00:21:35,601
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org