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Captioning sponsored by FOX
BROADCASTING COMPANY
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and TWENTIETH
CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
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Hey, Peggy Hill.
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Thanks for inviting
us to barbecue.
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Not to be rude, but is
this name brand soda?
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It taste kind of skunky.
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Well, of course it's name brand.
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It's MegaloMart Private Select.
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Idiots.
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Are the hot dogs ready?
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I got a movie to
catch in 12 minutes.
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You're leaving?
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Aw, this is a couples' event.
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And there's this
movie I'm dying to see.
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This one's got a Culkin
and a Baldwin in it.
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Well, the dogs will be
done in a few seconds.
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Oop, they're plumping.
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Hey, I was going to sit there.
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Sorry.
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You said you were
going to sit there.
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Eventually.
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Okay, everybody, dogs are up.
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Now Bill's in a rush,
so he gets first crack.
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I'll be speedy.
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Okay, we've got ketchup,
mustard, relish over there...
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Sweet Jesus.
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Whoa, look at him go!
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Bill! Bill! Those dogs
are for everyone.
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That should do it.
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Wow.
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If there were 13 more
dogs on that platter
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Mr. Dauterive would be in the
Guinness Book of World Records.
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And did you see how
excited Bobby was
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about that hot
dog eating record?
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If he ever puts together
fame and eating...
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well, he might
end up like, uh...
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What was the name of that
large comedian who died?
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But it's nice for Bill
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to finally have
something he's good at.
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Might give him a reason
to live, and what not.
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What Bill needs is a
healthy relationship.
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Look how I turned
your life around.
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Now...
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Guess what? I
finally got a woman
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to agree to go out with him.
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My God, you're kidding. Who?
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Sunny Edmunds,
the new librarian.
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The perky one?
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No, the one who
won't make change.
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Did you try the perky one?
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Yes, I did, and it took
the perk right out of her.
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Yep.
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Bill, what the hell was up
with you and the hot dogs?
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That was the most
disgusting thing
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I've ever seen in my
life or on the Internet.
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I'm sorry. I was in a hurry.
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The movie sucked.
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We had to wait a
whole three minutes
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for Hank to throw on more dogs.
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Does your selfish
gluttony know no end?
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No.
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Now wait a minute, Bill.
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Eating 12 hot dogs in a minute
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is kind of a... well, a talent.
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Huh. I hadn't
thought of it that way.
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Nice, Hank.
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Do you want him to
be this lonely pantload
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for the rest of his life?
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As a matter of fact,
Peggy's got a gal
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who agreed to go
out on a date with Bill.
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That's right, an actual woman.
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No!
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Yep. Dinner. Tomorrow night.
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Maybe you could figure out
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what's causing that, uh,
god-awful smell in your car.
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That was a frog.
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I guess I'll get rid of it.
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Oh.
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I almost forgot.
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At dinner, do not order chicken.
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Sunny is terrified of birds.
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Roger that.
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By the way, I took the liberty of
changing our dinner reservations
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to Pea Soup Swenson's.
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I can show off my
talent, as you say.
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If you eat ten bowls of soup
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everyone at your
table eats free.
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Seven!
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Aah...
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Sunny, you can order yourself
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another whiskey sour.
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It's all going to
be on the house
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'cause I am a
soup-eating machine.
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You promised me a
fat George Clooney.
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This is not a fat
George Clooney.
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Nine!
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Did Sunny go to the bathroom?
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I think I'm wowing her.
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She left, Bill.
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Did she see a bird?
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You disgusted her.
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Mmm, I like the
way you eat soup.
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Are you making fun of me?
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If you are, it's okay,
I just like to know.
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Hell, no.
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I follow the sport
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of competitive
eating very closely.
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But I've never seen you before.
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Cyndi Beauchamp. Fan.
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Bill Dauterive.
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What do you mean by sport?
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I figured you were some
dark horse chow hog
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in town for the hot dog
eating championship.
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Haven't you ever
heard of the IFOCE?
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The International Federation
of Competitive Eating?
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Okay, you are making fun of him.
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We get the joke, ha, ha, ha.
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Now move along, lady.
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The IFOCE is the real deal.
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They're like the NFL
of competitive eating.
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You know, Bill, tomorrow
night Dan Vasti...
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One of the greats
in the sport...
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Is having a party
over in McMaynerbury.
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You should come.
Meet the other eaters.
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Hmm, I never say no to
a party in McMaynerbury.
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I have a feeling about you.
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And I have slept with
enough competitive eaters
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to know greatness when I see it.
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Thanks.
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All right, they've
got pepper jack.
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Mmm. Oh, that's good shrimp.
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Hey. Easy on the shrimp.
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Save it for game day, slugger.
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It's a real rookie mistake to
get your grub on at a party.
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I'm sorry. This is my first
organized eating function.
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It's cool.
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It's just if everyone here
decided to throw down
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I'd go broke.
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Dan Vasti.
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Bill Dauterive.
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Oh...!
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You're the new gurgitator
Cyndi was telling me about.
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I noticed you breathe
through your nose...
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That's a good start.
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Boy, look at the
size of that trophy.
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Won that baby in Munich.
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Bratwurst.
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And those are my
three consecutive
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Mustard Yellow belts.
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I was going for
four and then... this.
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Massive heart attack.
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Triple bypass, 85
stitches, goat valve.
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I'm so sorry.
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It's okay.
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I'm taking care of myself now.
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Red wine.
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You know, Bill, the
last big American
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to win the Mustard Yellow
belt was Steve Keiner in '99.
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Since then, all the
hot dog competitions
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have been won by
skinny Japanese guys.
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But I still believe
in the big man.
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Wait a minute.
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America isn't the
hot dog champion?
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Well, how could
you let that happen?
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This whole nation
is stuffing its face.
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Can't one of us do
it at record speed?
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Yeah, it's unfreakin'
acceptable, man.
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Time for America to get cocky.
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Amen, brother.
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Aah-aah-aah!
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Hank Hill, Bill Dauterive,
this is Kid Rock...
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Competitive eating's
fan-o numero uno.
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Hell, yeah!
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Huh, I once canceled
a 12-city European tour
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to watch this grub
gobbler chow dog.
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Hey, Rock, check out Nozawa
between the two big blondes.
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Takeru Nozawa.
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The reigning champ.
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Eats left
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drinks right.
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110 pounds of pure stomach.
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50 hot dogs in 12 minutes.
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Not one-five.
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Five-oh!
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Whoa.
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00:08:02,265 --> 00:08:03,233
Hank Hill.
187
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Ken Irrawaddy.
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So, are you an eater?
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00:08:10,507 --> 00:08:11,873
Yeah. Laotian noodle champion.
190
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I'm branching out into hot dogs.
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No kidding.
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My neighbor's Laotian.
193
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You know a guy named Kahn?
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You're going to wear
the belt one day, baby.
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Hey, Cyndi.
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Nozawa.
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When are you going to drop
these fat American losers
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and get with number one?
199
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Hey.
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You'd look damn sexy
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wearing nothing but my Mustard
Yellow Championship belt.
202
00:08:36,566 --> 00:08:38,933
You know, I think your
Mustard Yellow belt
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is going to look pretty good
around my fat American gut.
204
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Baby, you're not ready
yet... Not for Nozawa.
205
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Who are you?
206
00:08:45,909 --> 00:08:47,935
I'm Big Bill Dauterive.
207
00:08:47,977 --> 00:08:50,537
Come next weekend, I'm
going to eat the hell out of you!
208
00:08:50,580 --> 00:08:51,548
Hah! Chump!
209
00:08:51,581 --> 00:08:54,847
You don't know who
you're messing with!
210
00:08:54,884 --> 00:08:55,852
Oh, yeah?
211
00:08:55,885 --> 00:08:59,754
I'll tell you who you're
messing with... the USA!
212
00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:02,782
USA! USA!
213
00:09:02,826 --> 00:09:04,294
USA!
214
00:09:04,327 --> 00:09:09,595
USA! USA!
215
00:09:11,901 --> 00:09:13,563
USA! USA!
216
00:09:13,603 --> 00:09:14,764
Breathe and swallow, Bill!
217
00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:15,772
Breath and swallow!
218
00:09:15,805 --> 00:09:17,774
Come on, you're
eating for America!
219
00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:18,775
I don't get it.
220
00:09:18,808 --> 00:09:20,777
Are you training
him to be an athlete
221
00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:22,438
or a colossal fat-ass?
222
00:09:22,479 --> 00:09:23,447
Dang it, Dale.
223
00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:26,382
When did you get to be
such a Negative Nellie?
224
00:09:26,416 --> 00:09:28,976
Why don't you try
being a Positive Pete?
225
00:09:29,018 --> 00:09:31,214
Oh, you poor, deluded redneck.
226
00:09:31,254 --> 00:09:34,656
You actually think you can eat
more hot dogs than Nozawa? Hah!
227
00:09:34,691 --> 00:09:37,422
Personally, my money
on Ken Irrawaddy...
228
00:09:37,460 --> 00:09:39,520
"The Laotian Commotion."
229
00:09:39,562 --> 00:09:41,724
He the Michael Jordan of Laos.
230
00:09:41,765 --> 00:09:43,063
Keep going, Bill.
231
00:09:43,099 --> 00:09:45,694
You've got to be able
to focus with distractions
232
00:09:45,735 --> 00:09:47,704
no matter how annoying they are.
233
00:09:47,737 --> 00:09:51,367
Guess you haven't heard
of "Belt of Fat theory!"
234
00:09:51,407 --> 00:09:53,103
Belt of fat?
235
00:09:53,143 --> 00:09:55,738
That why fat guys can't
keep up with us skinny Asians.
236
00:09:55,779 --> 00:09:58,180
Your stomachs are
trapped in belt of fat.
237
00:09:58,214 --> 00:09:59,614
Got no room to stretch.
238
00:09:59,649 --> 00:10:01,948
Irrawaddy not only
skinny and flexible
239
00:10:01,985 --> 00:10:04,853
rumor has it he
got two stomachs.
240
00:10:04,888 --> 00:10:07,323
Huh. I met him at a party
241
00:10:07,357 --> 00:10:10,953
and his stomach
seemed perfectly normal.
242
00:10:10,994 --> 00:10:11,962
You met Irrawaddy?!
243
00:10:11,995 --> 00:10:14,396
Was he wearing the
scarf I knit for him?!
244
00:10:14,430 --> 00:10:15,398
Mom.
245
00:10:15,431 --> 00:10:16,455
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
246
00:10:16,499 --> 00:10:17,467
Yes, what?
247
00:10:17,500 --> 00:10:22,302
Look what I made for Dad
in shop class... a bird feeder.
248
00:10:22,338 --> 00:10:25,604
Or a shoe box.
I'll let him decide.
249
00:10:25,642 --> 00:10:27,702
Throw down those dogs!
250
00:10:27,744 --> 00:10:29,713
Hey, what's Mr. Dauterive doing?
251
00:10:29,746 --> 00:10:30,941
Whatever it is
252
00:10:30,980 --> 00:10:33,449
it sure is making him popular.
253
00:10:33,483 --> 00:10:34,712
Is he... eating?
254
00:10:34,751 --> 00:10:36,344
Let me see that.
255
00:10:36,386 --> 00:10:38,014
What did you do?
256
00:10:38,054 --> 00:10:41,354
Obviously you need to
work on your adhesives.
257
00:10:41,391 --> 00:10:45,089
I wouldn't show this
to your father just yet.
258
00:10:45,128 --> 00:10:46,653
But-but good try.
259
00:10:46,696 --> 00:10:48,665
Okay, now, you just need to rank
260
00:10:48,698 --> 00:10:50,189
in the top five to qualify.
261
00:10:50,233 --> 00:10:52,634
So you don't have to
dazzle, you just have to place.
262
00:10:52,669 --> 00:10:55,264
Remember, Honey
Bear, it's not Roman rules
263
00:10:55,305 --> 00:10:57,433
so whatever you do, don't vomit.
264
00:10:57,473 --> 00:10:59,704
You keep those
doggies in your tummy
265
00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:02,007
and Cyndi will give
you the nummy-nummy.
266
00:11:03,179 --> 00:11:06,638
Next up, Nozawa
versus Ken Irrawaddy!
267
00:11:09,886 --> 00:11:11,445
Irrawaddy! Irrawaddy!
268
00:11:11,487 --> 00:11:15,583
Komy yak kin kow laoew!
269
00:11:15,625 --> 00:11:18,094
He nod at me! He nod at me!
270
00:11:19,462 --> 00:11:21,260
Mmm, they're pretty fast.
271
00:11:21,297 --> 00:11:23,266
But here's the
Dauterive's strategy:
272
00:11:23,299 --> 00:11:25,325
Start off slow,
build the momentum
273
00:11:25,368 --> 00:11:28,236
and then kick hard
to the finish line.
274
00:11:28,271 --> 00:11:30,206
Those dogs are going down.
275
00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:31,367
Yeah, baby!
276
00:11:31,407 --> 00:11:34,605
Yeah, strap on the feed
bag, you tragic behemoth.
277
00:11:34,644 --> 00:11:39,309
How many dogs will it take
to make you feel whole inside?
278
00:11:39,349 --> 00:11:40,317
Shut up, Dale!
279
00:11:40,350 --> 00:11:43,149
This man is eating
for his country, Dale.
280
00:11:43,186 --> 00:11:45,917
What you're doing is treason.
281
00:11:48,491 --> 00:11:50,960
Nazawa's down.
282
00:11:50,994 --> 00:11:52,326
Ooh!
283
00:11:52,362 --> 00:11:53,660
I've hear that sound before.
284
00:11:53,696 --> 00:11:54,925
Hello, colostomy bag.
285
00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:57,661
Laos rules!
286
00:11:57,700 --> 00:12:01,831
All fall before the
might of Irrawaddy!
287
00:12:03,406 --> 00:12:04,483
Irrawaddy: 25-and-a-quarter.
288
00:12:04,507 --> 00:12:06,476
Irrawaddy is now
leading the pack.
289
00:12:06,509 --> 00:12:09,001
Last contestant: Dauterive.
290
00:12:09,045 --> 00:12:10,877
You're soloing.
291
00:12:10,914 --> 00:12:11,882
Come on, baby, focus.
292
00:12:11,915 --> 00:12:14,612
It's go time.
293
00:12:14,651 --> 00:12:17,052
Hail the conquering fat-ass!
294
00:12:17,086 --> 00:12:19,180
A lonely pig gorging himself
295
00:12:19,222 --> 00:12:21,987
on the lips and
anuses of his brothers.
296
00:12:22,025 --> 00:12:22,993
Dale, why don't you shut
297
00:12:23,026 --> 00:12:24,995
your skinny little
no-hot-dog-eating mouth?
298
00:12:25,028 --> 00:12:27,224
You know, I figured
out what your problem is.
299
00:12:27,263 --> 00:12:28,925
Oh, really? Mm-hmm.
300
00:12:28,965 --> 00:12:33,903
I think you're a little
jealous of the Dauterive.
301
00:12:33,937 --> 00:12:34,905
Jealous?!
302
00:12:34,938 --> 00:12:36,702
On your mark...
303
00:12:36,739 --> 00:12:37,798
get set...
304
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:38,808
go!
305
00:12:38,841 --> 00:12:40,070
Jealous of this?
306
00:12:40,109 --> 00:12:43,409
Any idiot can eat hot dogs.
307
00:12:43,446 --> 00:12:46,211
It's not a talent.
308
00:12:47,583 --> 00:12:50,109
Look, I'll go two at a time.
309
00:12:52,789 --> 00:12:54,314
See? It's nothing special.
310
00:12:54,357 --> 00:12:57,020
I can eat three at
a time. Who cares?
311
00:12:57,060 --> 00:12:58,426
He's tri-doggin'!
312
00:12:58,461 --> 00:12:59,429
Come on, Bill.
313
00:12:59,462 --> 00:13:00,555
Wolf it!
314
00:13:20,350 --> 00:13:23,115
Dauterive: 22-and-a-half.
315
00:13:23,152 --> 00:13:26,145
New guy: 34-and-an-eighth!
316
00:13:27,824 --> 00:13:28,792
Congratulations, gentlemen.
317
00:13:28,825 --> 00:13:30,316
You both qualify.
318
00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:31,692
What's your name, gladiator?
319
00:13:31,728 --> 00:13:33,754
Dale Gribble.
320
00:13:33,796 --> 00:13:35,822
Gribble! Gribble! USA!
321
00:13:35,865 --> 00:13:38,061
Gribble! Gribble! USA!
322
00:13:38,101 --> 00:13:39,797
Dude, will you sign my face?
323
00:13:39,836 --> 00:13:42,635
Huh?
324
00:13:42,672 --> 00:13:44,834
What about the Dauterive?
325
00:13:50,913 --> 00:13:54,247
Why? Tell me...
326
00:13:54,283 --> 00:13:57,913
why give me a great gift,
only to snatch it away?
327
00:13:57,954 --> 00:13:59,616
What did I do, huh?
328
00:13:59,655 --> 00:14:01,453
D-Did I ask for too much?
329
00:14:01,491 --> 00:14:07,328
Did I fly too close to the sun
on my beautiful hot dog wings?
330
00:14:07,363 --> 00:14:10,333
Why do you like Dale better?!
331
00:14:10,366 --> 00:14:11,800
I hate you!
332
00:14:11,834 --> 00:14:16,465
I'm so sorry, I
didn't mean that.
333
00:14:16,506 --> 00:14:19,601
Please, help me eat
more hot dogs than Dale!
334
00:14:19,642 --> 00:14:20,642
Please!
335
00:14:21,644 --> 00:14:24,580
Boy, I still can't
get over Dale.
336
00:14:24,614 --> 00:14:25,775
What a dogger.
337
00:14:25,815 --> 00:14:27,943
That little alley of
yours is turning into
338
00:14:27,984 --> 00:14:29,043
quite a freak show.
339
00:14:29,085 --> 00:14:31,020
What do I do now?
340
00:14:31,054 --> 00:14:33,148
Ah, dang it, Bill.
341
00:14:33,189 --> 00:14:35,249
I've got to go with
the winner tomorrow.
342
00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:37,260
This country's
honor is at stake.
343
00:14:37,293 --> 00:14:39,262
Well, I do not know
how much longer
344
00:14:39,295 --> 00:14:40,295
I can keep Bobby away.
345
00:14:40,329 --> 00:14:43,265
Today he heard Bill training,
so I stabbed my thumb
346
00:14:43,299 --> 00:14:45,268
with a ballpoint
pen to distract him.
347
00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:46,826
Good work. Thank you.
348
00:14:46,869 --> 00:14:48,497
I think it's infected.
349
00:14:54,010 --> 00:14:57,003
So, have you gotten a
chance to read my short story?
350
00:14:57,180 --> 00:15:00,742
I kinda had, uh...
had some stuff to me.
351
00:15:00,783 --> 00:15:02,513
Fresh-baked muffins, anyone?
352
00:15:02,552 --> 00:15:04,145
You know I love muffins.
353
00:15:04,187 --> 00:15:06,713
Got any cranberry
banana macadamia nut?
354
00:15:06,756 --> 00:15:08,418
Actually, that's all I've got.
355
00:15:08,458 --> 00:15:11,394
Oh. When it comes to
muffins, I can't help myself.
356
00:15:11,427 --> 00:15:12,759
I'm a muffaholic.
357
00:15:12,795 --> 00:15:15,663
Mmm!
358
00:15:15,698 --> 00:15:16,791
Hey, Hank, Bill baked
359
00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:19,462
fresh cranberry banana
macadamia nut muffins.
360
00:15:19,502 --> 00:15:22,233
Bill, Boomhauer's
allergic to macadamias
361
00:15:22,271 --> 00:15:24,638
and you know I
don't eat cranberries.
362
00:15:24,674 --> 00:15:26,666
We've had this
conversation before.
363
00:15:26,709 --> 00:15:30,441
Wait a minute.
364
00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:33,541
My muffin!
365
00:15:33,583 --> 00:15:35,609
Dang it, don't you
see what he's doing?
366
00:15:35,651 --> 00:15:36,619
He's filling you up
367
00:15:36,652 --> 00:15:38,621
so you won't be able
to compete today.
368
00:15:38,654 --> 00:15:41,351
That is an
outrageous accusation!
369
00:15:41,390 --> 00:15:44,121
You're sabotaging your
friend and your country.
370
00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:46,755
You ought to be
ashamed of yourself.
371
00:15:46,796 --> 00:15:48,264
Yeah, but... um... oh!
372
00:15:48,297 --> 00:15:49,265
I'm sorry!
373
00:15:49,298 --> 00:15:51,665
But what am I supposed to do?
374
00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:53,533
I want to bring home
375
00:15:53,569 --> 00:15:55,800
the Mustard Yellow
Belt to America!
376
00:15:55,838 --> 00:15:56,931
Me! The Dauterive!
377
00:15:56,973 --> 00:15:58,805
Oh, for God sakes, Bill.
378
00:15:58,841 --> 00:16:02,573
I wasn't even planning
on going to the competition.
379
00:16:03,613 --> 00:16:04,581
Dale...
380
00:16:04,614 --> 00:16:06,173
Lady liberty is a proud woman.
381
00:16:06,215 --> 00:16:08,275
She doesn't like to
ask her boys for help
382
00:16:08,317 --> 00:16:10,650
but when she does
blow the horn of freedom
383
00:16:10,686 --> 00:16:13,349
I tell you, mister...
384
00:16:13,389 --> 00:16:15,858
I'm sorry, Hank, but I'm
not joining that freak show.
385
00:16:15,892 --> 00:16:17,690
How can you say that?
386
00:16:17,727 --> 00:16:19,855
Because I'm a freak!
387
00:16:19,896 --> 00:16:20,864
I know!
388
00:16:20,897 --> 00:16:23,093
I've been there, and I
don't want to go back!
389
00:16:23,132 --> 00:16:24,100
'Sright.
390
00:16:24,133 --> 00:16:28,036
It was the fifth grade.
391
00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:31,404
I had a touch of the
social anxiety disorder
392
00:16:31,440 --> 00:16:34,205
and medication was
not readily available
393
00:16:34,243 --> 00:16:36,439
or indeed invented yet.
394
00:16:36,479 --> 00:16:39,176
I had a hard time making
connections with people.
395
00:16:39,215 --> 00:16:41,810
Did you see that?
396
00:16:41,851 --> 00:16:45,015
Yuck! That guy ate a bug!
397
00:16:45,054 --> 00:16:46,022
Eww!
398
00:16:46,055 --> 00:16:47,182
Do it again.
399
00:16:47,223 --> 00:16:50,625
By the next week, I was
putting on shows at recess.
400
00:16:50,660 --> 00:16:54,927
Eat it! Eat it! Eat it!
401
00:16:54,964 --> 00:16:57,866
I was an eating
machine... Crickets, spiders
402
00:16:57,900 --> 00:16:59,732
dung beetles.
403
00:16:59,769 --> 00:17:05,401
I thought I was so cool.
404
00:17:05,441 --> 00:17:07,273
Eat it!
405
00:17:07,310 --> 00:17:10,109
That's so gross!
406
00:17:10,146 --> 00:17:12,911
That is yucky!
407
00:17:12,949 --> 00:17:14,815
Eat more!
408
00:17:14,850 --> 00:17:17,820
What a freak.
409
00:17:17,853 --> 00:17:21,119
Remember, Bill, just because
you have their attention
410
00:17:21,157 --> 00:17:24,855
doesn't mean you
have their respect.
411
00:17:24,894 --> 00:17:28,160
So Bill, I guess you're
America's only hope.
412
00:17:28,197 --> 00:17:29,096
Are you in?
413
00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:30,099
I am so in.
414
00:17:30,132 --> 00:17:31,100
Oh...
415
00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:32,294
Hank?
416
00:17:44,213 --> 00:17:45,408
Is there any chance
417
00:17:45,448 --> 00:17:47,713
I might be able to get some
alone time with Dale and...
418
00:17:47,750 --> 00:17:49,878
"persuade" him?
419
00:17:49,919 --> 00:17:51,512
Keep your pants on, lady.
420
00:17:51,554 --> 00:17:52,817
My wife's hotter than you
421
00:17:52,855 --> 00:17:54,187
and she throws more sex at me
422
00:17:54,223 --> 00:17:56,715
than I know what to do with.
423
00:17:56,759 --> 00:18:00,093
Cyndi, believe in the big man.
424
00:18:00,129 --> 00:18:01,222
Show me a miracle, baby.
425
00:18:01,264 --> 00:18:06,931
The outlet mall
is a bit of a drive
426
00:18:06,969 --> 00:18:07,993
but God help me
427
00:18:08,037 --> 00:18:10,006
I love those
discontinued pantsuits.
428
00:18:10,039 --> 00:18:12,770
Hey, look, the County Fair!
429
00:18:12,808 --> 00:18:16,142
Something about
a hot dog contest.
430
00:18:16,178 --> 00:18:18,147
I could go for a hot dog.
431
00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:19,204
Maybe even two.
432
00:18:19,248 --> 00:18:21,444
Oh, good, here's another sign.
433
00:18:21,484 --> 00:18:22,782
Mom, what are you doing?!
434
00:18:22,818 --> 00:18:23,996
Well, you know, it
just occurred to me...
435
00:18:24,020 --> 00:18:27,149
I have never taken you fishing!
436
00:18:36,899 --> 00:18:39,027
Gladiators, hands on the table.
437
00:18:39,068 --> 00:18:40,627
Judges, you ready?
438
00:18:40,670 --> 00:18:41,968
On your mark...
439
00:18:42,004 --> 00:18:42,767
get set...
440
00:18:42,805 --> 00:18:46,435
eat!
441
00:18:53,349 --> 00:18:54,526
Dang it, Irraawaddy's already up
442
00:18:54,550 --> 00:18:56,576
two dogs on Bill.
443
00:18:56,619 --> 00:18:57,780
He's got to kick.
444
00:18:57,820 --> 00:18:59,413
Too soon. He'll flame out!
445
00:19:00,356 --> 00:19:01,984
♪ Laos rules ♪
446
00:19:02,024 --> 00:19:05,119
♪ Laos rules! ♪
447
00:19:05,161 --> 00:19:07,528
Uh, aren't we supposed
to have fishing rods?
448
00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:09,031
Fishing rods?
449
00:19:09,065 --> 00:19:11,432
Have you ever seen a
bear use a fishing rod?
450
00:19:11,467 --> 00:19:13,698
Here, use the
tackle God gave you.
451
00:19:13,736 --> 00:19:16,228
Look, look, there's a sturgeon!
452
00:19:16,272 --> 00:19:19,800
Slap it out of the water, Bobby!
453
00:19:19,842 --> 00:19:22,334
Where? I don't see it.
454
00:19:22,378 --> 00:19:27,942
Oh, you're scaring him away
with all your talk, talk, talking!
455
00:19:27,983 --> 00:19:29,975
Look, Bill's kicking!
456
00:19:30,019 --> 00:19:31,019
He's kicking!
457
00:19:31,053 --> 00:19:32,544
C'mon, work it!
458
00:19:32,588 --> 00:19:33,556
He's ahead!
459
00:19:33,589 --> 00:19:34,589
Go, Bill!
460
00:19:34,623 --> 00:19:37,286
Attack the dog! Attack the dog!
461
00:19:37,326 --> 00:19:40,023
USA, USA...
462
00:19:40,062 --> 00:19:42,725
Come on, Irrawaddy!
463
00:19:42,765 --> 00:19:46,133
Laos is depending on you!
464
00:19:46,168 --> 00:19:48,194
Dauterive! Go, Dauterive!
465
00:19:48,237 --> 00:19:51,571
Eat it! Eat it!
466
00:19:53,676 --> 00:19:57,044
Is he? Is he?
467
00:19:57,079 --> 00:19:59,742
He is! He's quitting!
468
00:19:59,782 --> 00:20:01,774
All right, Bill!
469
00:20:01,817 --> 00:20:02,785
No!
470
00:20:02,818 --> 00:20:04,514
Come on, Bill!
471
00:20:04,553 --> 00:20:05,885
USA! USA?
472
00:20:05,921 --> 00:20:08,220
Hank... I'm full.
473
00:20:08,257 --> 00:20:09,225
I know, buddy.
474
00:20:09,258 --> 00:20:10,692
Just another 15 dogs.
475
00:20:10,726 --> 00:20:12,456
But they're laughing at me.
476
00:20:12,495 --> 00:20:13,793
Do I have to keep doing this?
477
00:20:13,829 --> 00:20:14,829
Uh...
478
00:20:14,864 --> 00:20:19,461
I guess it's for America.
479
00:20:23,205 --> 00:20:25,504
You know, Bill, America
doesn't need to win
480
00:20:25,541 --> 00:20:27,066
every dang thing to be great.
481
00:20:27,109 --> 00:20:30,602
We've got the Constitution,
two George Bushes
482
00:20:30,646 --> 00:20:32,012
great toilets.
483
00:20:32,047 --> 00:20:34,539
Hell, we played
golf on the moon.
484
00:20:34,583 --> 00:20:37,951
I guess we can let Laos have a
stupid wiener contest, can't we?
485
00:20:37,987 --> 00:20:43,984
What the hell are you doing?!
486
00:20:44,026 --> 00:20:49,294
Bill, you fool,
there's still time!
487
00:20:49,331 --> 00:20:51,493
Dude, get back in there
and eat like the wind!
488
00:20:51,534 --> 00:20:54,868
Thank you for the hot dogs,
but I've had enough to eat.
489
00:20:54,904 --> 00:20:56,873
I bid you good day.
490
00:20:56,906 --> 00:20:58,374
And the winner...
491
00:20:58,407 --> 00:21:00,808
Ken Irrawaddy, from Laos!
492
00:21:02,645 --> 00:21:06,241
This is the proudest
day of my life!
493
00:21:06,282 --> 00:21:07,614
Oh, that's it!
494
00:21:07,650 --> 00:21:11,678
I'm quitting music
and putting on the bib.
495
00:21:13,088 --> 00:21:15,580
So, uh, things
still on with Cyndi?
496
00:21:15,624 --> 00:21:16,592
No.
497
00:21:16,625 --> 00:21:20,255
Well, at least you got a
little chicka-womp-womp.
498
00:21:20,296 --> 00:21:23,494
Actually, we were
saving it for tonight.
499
00:21:23,532 --> 00:21:25,558
My idea.
500
00:21:25,601 --> 00:21:26,569
Attaboy, Bill.
501
00:21:26,602 --> 00:21:31,768
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
502
00:21:31,807 --> 00:21:33,867
Anyone got a breath mint?
503
00:21:33,909 --> 00:21:34,877
Yep.
504
00:21:34,910 --> 00:21:36,879
Here you go.