PENZA: Clear! (DEFIBRILLATOR CHARGING)
Charging. Clear!
(MONITOR FLATLINING)
(SIGHS)
Okay, I'm calling it.
Time of death, 8:32.
(SOMBER SONG PLAYING)
Hello, Diana. Shall we?
LV tear's within a zone of fresh tissue necrosis,
implicating recent myocardial infarction as the instigating event.
Unfortunately, the medical records show that Dr. Panza
never suspected heart disease,
instead, giving steroids for an erroneous diagnosis of asthma,
thereby causing the fatal tear.
I suggest these findings warrant further investigation
into Dr. Penza's standard of care for this patient,
making this my third such recommendation regarding Dr. Penza this year.
Concluding autopsy with examination of the brain.
Dr. Treiber?
I'm cold.
(TIRES SCREECHING IN DISTANCE)
(GRUNTING)
Yes, it's mine.
And, yes, I know that I can't drive stick.
And, no, I don't care that I parked in a handicap spot.
"Staring death in the face has changed my life." What a cliché.
The cliche is to lead a more meaningful life.
I've taken a holy vow to lead a less meaningful one.
I've spent my life caring, giving, and searching for the profound.
Now it's time for selfishness, indifference, and embracing the shallow.
(HORN HONKING CONTINUOUSLY)
(CHIRPS)
(HONKING STOPS)
Your scan's in three days. Tell me this isn't just you killing time
until you find out if your cancer's gonna kill it for you?
I just paid $75,000 for a ridiculously impractical car,
the depth of shallowness.
And tomorrow, I'm driving it to Cleveland to meet my boyhood crush.
The years have not been kind to David Cassidy.
Julie Christie, Doctor Zhivago, Shampoo. I was precocious.
She's opening some kind of charity animal clinic, or something.
I'm neglecting my patients to fulfill a silly fantasy. (ELEVATOR DINGS)
Textbook selfishness and indifference.
Or you've made sure that your patients are well covered, the car is a rental,
and while waiting to get JulieChristie's autograph,
you'll adopt a puppy-
I don't even care whether you believe me or not.
Indifference.
He tried to cut open his own skull. Head CT and tox screen were clean.
Interesting. Cotard delusion. Also known as Walking Corpse Syndrome.
A disconnect in the amygdala convinces you that you're secretly dead.
Case solved, rendering it... What's the past tense of "interesting"?
No prior history of mental illness,
and before you say it was caused by antivirals, I've already ruled that out.
Plus Cotard's doesn't explain the paresthesia in his hand.
Also, Treiber won't let any other doctor near him.
He trusts your work.
Treiber's the patient?
(COFFEE MACHINE WHIRRING)
What's the future tense of "interesting"?
CHI: How's Wilson doing?
Wilson's scan is at the end of the week. If his kickass chemo shrunk the tumor
to an operable size, he'll live. If it didn't, he'll die.
That must be very hard. ls there anything we can do?
Other than the prayer circle, what is there?
Patient's AST is high. Psychosis could be brought on by liver failure.
Maybe Hep C?
Bilirubin and serum protein levels were normal.
It doesn't explain the tingly hand or why Chase hates him.
- I don't hate him, he hates me. - He hates all doctors. And it's mutual.
He only hates the ones that screw up. And you.
And they only hate Treiber because he finds their mistakes.
Mistakes are a wee bit easier to find on a dead patient.
A distinction he fails to recognize. He's a rat.
Who makes the hospital a safer place
by keeping doctors accountable and focused.
What if he got something from a cadaver?
He handles a lot of them. You suggesting we DDx them all?
No, just his last one. She had bad knees.
If she used dimethyl sulfoxide for joint pain,
current from the defibrillator could've converted it to dimethyl sulfate.
When Treiber cut into her, her blood released toxic fumes.
Everyone in the basement would be sick.
Well, gas would've dissipated quickly.
His lungs are fine. Blood clots make more sense.
One in his hand explains the paresthesia,
one in his carotid explains the psychotic episode.
You two look for toxic exposure.
Adams, you can help Chase ultrasound his evil nemesis for evil clots.
I know House doesn't like seeing his patients,
but doesn't a fellow doctor rate an exception?
Psychosis appears to be intermittent.
Just snapped out of it long enough to ask
if House actually ordered this test.
Don't worry, we're simply carrying out his direct orders.
Right, I forgot. That's what you were hired to do.
Which is fine. His diagnostic error metric is .17,
compared to the hospital average of .32.
You actually think you can quantify the value of every doctor?
Someone should. And since I'm the only one who sees everything...
Right. You were hired to diagnose people after they're already dead.
No sign of stenosis or clots.
Every doctor, every diagnosis, every treatment, every result.
- It's pretty impressive. - It's pretty Orwellian.
- All written in his secret code. - He has to keep it confidential.
Just like the Wannsee Conference?
The Big Brother metaphor wasn't pointed enough for you?
You had to throw in Hitler?
A couple years ago, he noticed a link in child deaths,
and it's completely changed hospital policies on...
I get it, Treiber is nerd king.
The more people we kill, the more lives he saves.
Test is negative for dimethyl sulfate. Her blood is not toxic.
Then we should look for toxic exposures from something else.
You really think the hospital is idiotic enough to issue toxic supplies?
Have you seen his tools?
Treiber doesn't always use "hospital issue."
Then he's the idiot?
No, but I don't want to explain that assumption to House.
- Found something. - Found something.
(DOOR OPENS)
Thought we'd make it a road trip. '80s music, junk food, beer.
I have a dental appointment. That I'm going to make now.
Ah... I'll let you drive.
Not worth listening to you whine about your feelings and fears for three days.
It's not gonna happen. I've taken a vow.
People don't change. You're a person. Ergo, pass.
Yes, that's why I brought this. 2000s of propofol.
You can accompany me willingly, or I will, when you least expect it,
inject the contents of this vial into your bloodstream.
The fall might result in a concussion, or fractures, or you might get lucky,
and simply wake up somewhere near Allentown with a nasty headache.
The choice is yours, and in case you've forgotten, I am indifferent.
We leave tomorrow morning at 8:00 a.m.
- No clots. - No gas.
But we found enough of this to reanimate the entire morgue.
- He's jacked on caffeine. - HOUSE: Stimulant psychosis.
How many times do I have to solve this case?
So all we have to do is hydrate and observe him for 24 hours?
Why don't you tell him it was your idea? He might warm up to you.
If you get an ear in the mail, it's probably mine.
(GROANING) My abdomen! It's my abdomen!
It's just the effects of withdrawal. The pain is normal.
No. No, this isn't right.
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
Abdominal pain and distension means we were wrong about stimulant psychosis.
They could be coexistent problems. He might just have an obstruction.
You know what House says about coincidences.
I didn't feel any masses when I examined him, and no bowel sounds.
- Where's House? - He hasn't come in yet.
And neither has Wilson. I've already tried him three times.
Here we go again.
Diabetes could cause nerve damage in his hand and gut, and...
CHI: Except his glucose levels are normal
and he probably would've mentioned he was a diabetic.
What about ulcerative colitis? Earlier attacks caused thrombosis...
We already looked for clots, and there was no blood in his stool.
Try him again.
(DIALING)
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
(RINGING CONTINUES)
(SIGHS)
And Wilson's.
Wherever they are, they don't want to be disturbed.
(ROCK 'N' ROLL MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)
If we take 78, we can do the Sweet Treats & Salty Eats Snack Food Trail.
My trip, my itinerary.
We have to cover 300 miles today to be there with plenty of time
to catch Julie by 4:00 tomorrow.
And that thing I said about letting you drive? I lied.
(GEAR WHIRRING)
What?
I'm impressed.
Not by that, but by your real effort to maintain the fagade.
It's been almost an hour and there's been no mention
of the elephant in the car.
Well, I declined the elephant option.
Uh-huh.
In three days, you're gonna find out if you live or die.
- You don't want to talk about it? - No, but obviously you do.
So we're gonna talk about it, but because I want to?
I am neither talking about it nor talking about not talking about it.
You are hard-wired to talk about it. It's how you cope, it's who you are.
Yeah, well, from now on, I am not me. I'm...
I'm Kyle Calloway.
I thought your porn name was Rusty Packard.
Kyle is roguish, carefree, and shares no qualities with James Wilson.
Can Kyle drive stick?
(ENGINE REVVING)
Treiber won't let us do anything without House.
House just took himself off the case.
You said no bowel sounds when you examined him.
No, like "diminished," or "none at all"?
- None. - You think it's an intussusception?
If it is, it could mean cancer's behind everything.
Let's get a plain film of his abdomen.
Treiber will refuse any procedure that wasn't ordered by House.
Only if he knows it wasn't.
You want to lie to a guy whose favorite pastime is getting doctors fired?
We're adults with advanced medical training,
not children left alone with scissors. It's one X-ray.
If we had a phone, we could've found somewhere a little less charming.
If we had a phone, you'd be making calls,
downloading porn and playing Angry Birds.
This trip is about me, and I like this place.
It's not about you not wanting me to have a phone. You're weak.
You knew that you'd backslide
and spend your time talking to teary ex-wives, and your parents.
Trying to make them feel better about you being sick.
Bacon burger with fries looks awful. I'll have that.
I'll have The Big One.
You sure? It's $79.
Unless I finish it in an hour, in which case, it's free.
- It's an 80 ounce steak. - I'm hungry.
And an iced tea, please.
Big One's up!
- This place doesn't take credit cards. - My meal is going to be free,
and I'm going to be inducted into the Wall of Pain.
Hello, Kyle.
- (GROANING) No! - Belly film was normal.
No sign of an intussusception or any other obstruction.
House says it's there?
Sometimes House is wrong.
Run my bowel.
That's serious surgery. General anesthesia, long recovery...
We can do a contrast enema if you need more proof.
I have drawers filled with people who had clean scans.
I know how easy it is to miss something
unless you use your own hands and eyes.
- Run my bowel. - We'll let House know how you feel.
How I feel is twisted in white, hot agony.
His orders were to look for an intussusception.
Until you actually do that, I refuse any other tests.
Fine.
No, not fine!
- We need to talk... - And I want you to do the surgery.
Statistically, you're the best surgeon in the hospital.
(TREIBER GROANING)
ALL: (CHANTING) Kyle! Kyle!
Come on, you got this! You got this! Come on!
Twenty five seconds.
You got this!
Come on! Home stretch, Kyle! Home stretch!
Fifteen seconds!
Kyle! Kyle! Kyle! Kyle!
No, don't chew! Just swallow!
- Just muscle it down! - WAITRESS: Six, five, four...
- For the love of God, swallow! - ...three, two, one!
Time!
(ALL CHEERING)
Yes! Yes!
Yes! Oh, you magnificent bastard.
(GROANS)
WAITRESS: Smile!
(RETCHING) (CROWD EXCLAIMS m DISGUST)
It still counts, though, right?
(GROANING)
No hard feelings, right?
You'll find out when you wake up.
If you really think I'm a good doctor, why do you treat me like an idiot?
It's not because you lack talent. It's because you've wasted it.
Did you know I applied to be a fellow with House the same year as you?
No.
I quit my other program, relocated, broke up with my girlfriend.
Then your father made a call and, suddenly, you had the spot.
That was almost 10 years ago.
Do you know what I could've done after even three years with House?
Gone to the CDC, WHO, started a diagnostics department some place
they'd never even heard of such a thing.
You've been given everything.
Looks, talent, my future.
Nine years later,
look what you've done with it.
(FLUSHING) WILSON: Ugh!
Must be nice to be puking for the old-fashioned reasons.
(GRUNTS)
I'm glad I did it.
You see those people out there cheering for me? I was a hero.
For one fleeting moment, for an incredibly stupid reason,
for a bunch of morons I'll never see again.
God, it felt good.
And now, if you'll excuse me, I think I've made room for dessert.
(DOOR OPENS)
How long do you think you'll work for House?
As long as he lets me.
When House was in prison, you worked at Mercy, in plastics, right?
Know what I did? Surfed.
- For nine months. - Yes.
And if I didn't have two daughters and alimony, I might have done the same.
A fellowship's supposed to train you to stand on your own.
Foreman's dean of the hospital,
Cameron's head of emergency medicine in Chicago.
And Kutner and Amber are dead,
and Thirteen's having sweet Sapphic sex on some island.
- Look at this, in his small intestine. - Is it an intussusception?
No.
Guess Treiber was right.
- He hasn't checked his voice-mail. - Or his email.
It's been almost 24 hours, shouldn't we call Foreman, or the police?
- I think this makes him a fugitive. - We don't have to tell anyone.
Treiber's symptoms started in his frontal lobe
and moved through his nervous system. Hands, bowels, muscles.
- Intennittent porphyria. - He's in the middle of an attack.
The longer we wait to treat with haemin, the more damage it causes.
The longer we wait to tell him House isn't running the case,
the more damage that causes. It's fraud.
- It's only an issue if we're wrong. - It's more than one X-ray,
more than exploratory surgery even.
This is a drug that will damage him if you're wrong.
Same principle.
(ROCK 'N' ROLL MUSIC PLAYING ON CAR RADIO)
- I want a threesome. - Shouldn't we try a twosome first?
- Two women. - Oh.
I know they're probably overrated, and I'll probably be gravely disappointed,
but I want one anyway.
- No, you don't. - Well, Kyle wants one.
Kyle's only one day old. He doesn't know what he wants.
I don't want to think about consequences.
I don't want to think about...
I don't want to think about anything, I just wanna do.
Okay. I need you to do exactly what I tell you.
Yeah, yeah.
Pmphyria?
I know the anesthesia makes it hard to focus,
but we need to start you on haemin right away.
House believes very strongly this is the right call.
Okay-
- This thing is peeling. - Well, that is the cost of cowardice.
- Should've gone for the real thing. - I feel like I'm cheating.
"A", it is only cheating if you don't have cancer,
and "B", it's Wednesday afternoon. Pickings are slim.
And more importantly, sober.
The cancer cut is the surest way to the pity-pooty party.
One down, one to go.
What? Wait, wait, what?
She said yes? To a threesome?
She's empathetic.
She's a hooker. Gave me a cancer rate.
No, I have never paid for sex in my life.
You still haven't. It's my treat.
It's either that, or you find two very open-minded women
to fall in love with you in the next hour.
Bartender seems nice.
She seems female.
Want something to eat?
My friend is dying of cancer.
Oh, you poor thing.
It took my mother two years ago.
But you can't give up hope.
He's pretty much resigned. Just wants to go out with a bang.
And another pun, what time do you get off?
(TREIBER GROANING)
Pleural effusions. It's not porphyria.
(COUGHING)
We're gonna need to put in a chest tube.
I want Dr. House.
- We'll tell him exactly... - I wanna talk to him!
I want House! Where is House?
Where is he? Where's House?
We don't know.
You didn't have to sleep out here.
- Four's a crowd. - Apparently they left a long time ago.
So, how was it? Was the amateur as good as the pro?
It was confusing, perfunctory, and a bit sad.
- Never mind. - And exactly what I needed.
Thank you.
You feel like buying me breakfast?
One of them stole my wallet.
FOREMAN: You're lucky he's not pressing charges.
Porphyria was a legitimate call.
Until the pleural effusions.
We've done everything House would have if he'd been here.
You lied to a patient.
Treiber's condition is declining rapidly.
He's agreed to let me take over the case.
Dr. Chase will have no further contact with the patient.
- Fine. - I didn't say you were off the case!
Sit down.
I ordered a cardiac MRI,
enlargement of the left ventricle suggests an infiltrative disease.
It's sarcoidosis.
We could start him on corticosteroids and do a cardiac biopsy to confirm.
I disagree. I was wrong about the porphyria,
but I wasn't wrong about the nervous system. It's a prion disease.
That's why his symptoms have progressed so rapidly.
It's possible he was exposed and didn't know it.
Brains are often stored and not tested until weeks after autopsy.
Treiber's too good to not take the right precautions.
Maybe the problem is he thinks the same thing.
His job's built on the premise that doctors make mistakes.
That includes him.
- We should do a brain biopsy. - In his condition?
Then we biopsy the brains in the morgue. Find the one that exposed him.
- It's a needle in a haystack. - There's four of us.
Come on, we can at least start him on amphotericin to halt the progress
while you do your heart biopsy.
No, we can't. Amphotericin plus the contrast dye for the biopsy
would overwhelm his kidneys. We have to choose one or the other.
Biopsy his heart.
Wallets go in the minibar freezer.
If there's no minibar, the toilet tank. I've got exactly $20 left.
I'm sorry, I wasn't familiar with hooker protocol.
We could use your credit cards.
No, we won't. I'm still on probation.
Leaving the state without permission will really P.O. my P.O.
Doesn't matter.
We can't even afford gas to get home. And we're three hours behind schedule.
We have enough gas to get to Julie. I don't care about anything else.
What this time?
Just wondering how long this can last.
You're still hoping that I'm gonna wake up and admit
that Kyle Calloway is just some lame excuse
to have some naughty thrills, aren't you?
I'm actually hoping you won't.
L like Kyle.
(SWITCH CLICKS)
(ROCK 'N' ROLL MUSIC PLAYING ON CAR RADIO)
Oh, come on!
(ENGINE REVVING)
(SHOUTING)
HEB]
(WHOOPING)
Whoa! Whoa!
(PANTING)
(GRUNTING)
House!
You Okay?
My leg still hurts.
Come on!
We got 20 bucks to go 11 miles.
(WHIRRING)
Why aren't you answering your pages?
I'm busy.
The biopsy showed fibrosis in his cardiac muscle.
- So it's not a prion disease. - It means Foreman was wrong, too.
He wants everyone to meet in his office to DDx.
So he can tell us all it's an infection?
Interesting, or maybe you should consider not being such a baby.
My first instinct was an exposure from a corpse.
Treiber spends all his time here.
If it's not toxic gas, or prions,
then it has to be something else. He's not perfect.
Are you trying to cure him or discredit him?
Treiber can only see me as "Not House", Foreman, too.
And they're not wrong.
So you're not coming upstairs?
No. And when this case is over, I'm quitting.
- He's not quitting. - He already called other hospitals.
- Treiber did get under his skin. - He'll get over it.
Fibrosis has to be a response to an infection.
Chase said you'd say that.
We'll test the biopsy samples for viruses and start him on anti-virals.
You're not even going to talk to Chase?
He didn't leave after he got stabbed in the heart. I think we're okay.
Either you're right, and your friend is just really upset,
or you're wrong, and he's come at this calmly and rationally,
and you're about to lose a good doctor. Either way...
This is Oubliette, Ohio. Buses don't run here after 1968.
Ina said there's a bus every 15 minutes.
Ina is living in Alzheimersville.
Been here at least half an hour.
- Where are you going, Ina? - Naples, Florida.
Ben and I have a beautiful three-bedroom condo, all on the one floor.
You're waiting for a bus to Naples?
Comes every 15 minutes. Ben'll be wondering where his dinner is.
Cab.
Whoa! Cab!
20 bucks, 11 miles. Come on!
Come on, let's go.
Julie is gonna be at the clinic for another 45 minutes, we can make this!
She thinks she's in Florida.
(SIGHS) Okay. Bring her with.
- I'm waiting for the bus. - Bus isn't coming, Ina.
But this cab is going to Naples.
- Ben'll be getting awfully hungry. - House.
We'll tell the cabbie to call the cops.
They'll come pick her up. Take care of her.
Then I'll stay with her until they do.
(CAR DOOR CLOSES)
Goodbye, Kyle. (SIGHS)
- Bus comes every 15 minutes. - Oh, shut up.
Find anything?
Not yet. Running tests for MRSA.
You've got everybody worried about you quitting.
You here as my boss or my friend?
If I was here as your boss, you'd be suspended by now.
I've learnt a lot here. Enough to run my own team.
It's time I moved on.
Unfortunately, that's how I felt last year, and the year before that.
Maybe there's a reason you haven't left.
You need structure and support. Somebody else calling the shots.
You didn't come down here as my boss or my friend.
You came down as House.
You're trying to insult me into making a decision?
(CHUCKLES)
We've both seen it work.
Either you rise to the challenge and quit,
or you stay as a team member.
(MONITOR BEEPING RAPIDLY) Dr. Treiber! Dr. Treiber!
He stopped responding when I was changing his IV bag.
Peter, open your eyes.
Coma.
- Treiber's comatose. - All brains on deck.
Where should we start? We think you might be right.
I'm not.
You couldn't have gone through all of these.
Don't have to.
Treiber's reports are thorough to a fault, his methods are fastidious.
The answer isn't down here. Treiber didn't miss anything, we did.
FOREMAN: So what? Psychosis, abdominal pain,
pleural effusions, enlarged heart, coma.
- CHI: Autoimmune, maybe Goodpasture's. - Kidneys are fine. Vasculitis?
- No fever. - TAUB: Lymphoma?
- Would've seen it on the heart biopsy. - Soap. It's the soap.
(SIGHS)
I blew it.
Oh, God, here it comes.
As always. All I wanted was some meaningless fun,
and I couldn't even last three days.
Sound asleep! I'm sleep talking.
I had the chance to fulfill a lifelong dream.
I swear I will jump out of this moving bus if you don't shut up.
But instead, I sat with a sad, old woman for an hour and a half
who forgot I existed three seconds after she left.
And the stupidest thing?
I never even had a crush on Julie Christie.
In 12th grade, I was madly in love with Melanie Robbins
who happened to look exactly like Julie Christie in Doctor Zhivago.
And she really liked me.
We played spades every lunch period in Mr. Charlton's classroom.
But, of course, there was this other guy.
A great QUY, Very popular.
He had a car, he had a band, a moustache...
Kyle Calloway.
I assumed that...
I hoped that we would go to the senior prom together.
But she asked me for a favor. She asked...
(LAUGHS)
...if I minded if she went with him. She asked me if I minded.
(SCOFFS) And I said I didn't.
And that was it.
And I just did it again. I let it go, like I let everything go.
And here I am, sitting on this bus, with tickets I bought with my watch,
heading back home,
so a CT scan can decide my fate.
I don't want to go back, House.
I just... (SIGHS)
I just want to keep being Kyle.
Kyle would've ditched that sad, old woman from the bus stop.
He probably would've ditched me, too.
I can live without Kyle.
Sno Ball?
Guess this isn't heaven.
CHASE: We found out who screwed up.
You. it was your industrial strength antibacterial soap.
The additional triclosan does two things well.
Kills MRSA, and makes your thyroid look stupid.
It thinks the triclosan is a real hormone and closes up shop.
Excessive use over time, combined with excessive use of this,
led to hyperthyroidism,
which went undiagnosed until it presented with psychosis.
When the ER put you on sedatives, it kicked you into myxedema crisis.
Don't know that I ever would have thought of that.
House taught us to look for irony.
Hey.
This wasn't House.
(SLOW POP SONG PLAYING)
My locker key.
I'll give you your own team.
Thanks. But it's time to step out of the shadow.
It's about time.
(DOOR OPENS)
(DOOR CLOSES)
Any news?
Not yet.
You come here so I can talk you out of it?
I came to say thank you.
It's been fun.
"Fun"?
Sounded pithier than, "We've shared a variety of situations".
Let me know about Wilson.
(DOOR CLOSES)
WILSON: Why did you let him go?
Legal loophole, 13th amendment.
Abraham Lincoln may have looked great in that hat, but his labor policies...
House?