Grandma's got some cash. We could steal that.
What kind of creep are you?
We steal from strangers.
Hey, Grandma's not gonna call the cops.
Look.
Either you start doing this, or you get a job.
That guy-
You're gonna remember that guy for the rest of your life.
Hey. How you doing?
I said... Hey, give me all your cash!
Why?
You want to buy yourself a pretty dress, you little bitch?
- He ain't kidding, man. - Where's your wallet?
On your sister's nightstand. I forgot it after I paid her.
- Whoa, Tony... - You want to die tonight?
I said where's your wallet?
(COUGHING)
I think he's sick. Maybe you shouldn't.
He's faking.
Look, go in his pockets. Grab his wallet.
(wmzeznqe)
Good. Let's go.
(COUGHING)
You all right, man?
He's fine. He's faking it.
(COUGHING CONTINUES)
(DIALING)
Yeah, I need an ambulance at Maple and Fourth.
There's a really sick guy. I think he got mugged.
- What? - Are you happy? Let's go!
Today, we're hunting for the cat burglar of diseases.
Causes a healthy man's lungs to fail, but leaves no fingerprints.
Respiratory distress, could be asthma.
No hyperinflation on the x-ray.
Food allergy. Could have eaten shellfish or peanuts.
No hives. No erythema on the skin.
Pulmonary embolism.
Embolisms don't magically dissolve.
What are you doing here?
LaTYTIQOSpasm.
Frosty fall air hits his vocal cords,
they spasm shut, choke him out.
Good idea. You've been tremendously helpful.
- You can leave. - I just hired him.
Well, I fired him. To infinity.
You didn't tell him I was coming back?
She did. I said no.
When your extended job interview slash reality TV show
killed a patient,
you lost your veto power.
Everybody, this is Dr. Foreman. He will...
Does this mean there's one less slot for us?
It's still Dr. House's department.
He decides who stays, who goes...
Foreman goes.
But Dr. Foreman will be my eyes and ears.
You do nothing without his knowledge.
Oh!
Just in case I need them
where exactly will Dr. Foreman be keeping my balls?
If you wanna keep your jobs, that never happened.
The only way to get the cat burglar is to catch him in the act.
Give the patient a methacholine challenge.
See if it sets off laryngospasm.
You want us to stop his breathing?
Well, only until you can figure out why.
After that, it would be irresponsible.
You and I should talk.
I'm sorry.
She didn't have to do that publicly.
Yes, she did.
She had to establish her dominance in front of them. Limit my power.
There's nothing we can do.
Well, that's not the never-say-never Dr. Foreman I know.
There's lots we can do.
Not really, Cuddy...
I can make you miserable.
That's true.
Until you quit. Again.
So, why don't we just skip the middleman?
I'm not quitting.
My God. Not everything's about you and your little job and your little world.
This is about restoring order in the universe.
I'm not quitting.
You're gonna be miserable.
I already am miserable.
Cuddy obviously thinks we're idiots.
She's not gonna let House hire any one of us.
Tidal volume's holding at 1.2 liters. Increase the dose.
So, which master do we serve?
Whose ass do we have to kiss to get this job?
You really want this job so bad?
How about you try doing this job?
Double the dose to 16 milligrams per milliliter.
My foot's tingling.
Is that normal?
No. What exactly does it...
And my stomach's killing me.
Could this test cause that stuff?
No.
Test was a bust.
Amber has moved down to even money.
We found two new symptoms.
Yep. Back to two to one.
- What's going on? - You're the favorite.
- House's? - To get fired.
You can bet against yourself. Lovely parting gift.
- What's the limit? - Isn't one.
Five hundred on Kutner.
A thousand on Amber.
Do you take checks?
No.
How do we connect abdominal pain and numbness in the extremities
with respiratory collapse?
Dissecting aortic aneurysm.
Doesn't cover all three. What else?
Carry on. He's the boss.
What about a spinal cord lesion?
Would have to be in the brain stem.
It still doesn't explain the lungs.
Weird, though.
That he's the boss.
Didn't he quit recently? Was it a money issue?
Lungs, stomach, numbness...
No, that wasn't it.
It was something else.
Was it bling account? Med plan didn't cover tattoo removal?
We have to unify these symptoms.
I remember.
You didn't want to turn into me. Right?
You didn't want to become evil.
Can we stick to the medicine, here?
Absolutely.
I'm just flattered.
In a few short weeks, seems like I've just turned towards the light.
Either that, or you sold your soul.
Multiple marantic emboli could...
Did you get a raise?
Because then you're a whore.
Or didn't you? Because then, you're a stupid whore.
(BEEPER BEEPS)
Patient just crashed.
Can they go, boss?
- You're right. - But?
No but. You're right about all of it.
Then, I'll see you at the reunion.
Seems I didn't get out of here soon enough.
The world thinks I've been corrupted, so no one will hire me.
I hate being here. I'd love to quit, but I can't.
He's got a pulse.
Must be another respiratory collapse.
Means this is our chance to prove laryngospasm.
- We need to tube him and bag him. - We will. Right after we...
If we just let him die, it doesn't matter what he has.
Brennan, tilt his head back so I can get a straight shot.
AMBER: Okay. While you're killing him, I'll get the intubation kit.
I decided you're right. You're obviously in an impossible position.
There's no point in me humiliating you.
Thanks.
So, I'm gonna humiliate Cuddy.
Until she fires you.
Guy's faking. It's Munchausen's.
You notice the EMT run sheet?
Paramedic who brought him in is also named Martin Harris.
If the name was Attila Von Wienerschnitzel,
I'd say you might be onto something.
Look, room 406, abdominal pain,
room 403, left-sided numbness, 402, syncope.
He's copying his neighbors' symptoms.
- No. - Yeah.
Coincidence is much more likely than you being a stubborn jerk.
Munchausen's patients create symptoms, not names.
Munchausen's patients have medical histories
they don't want us reading.
TAUB: No laryngeal spasm.
Breathing's resumed normal rate, without intubation.
You see? Nothing's wrong with him.
He's in a lab coat.
Munchausens pretend to be patients, not doctors.
He's got Mirror Syndrome.
Giovannini's?
Do you know another Mirror Syndrome?
Brain's got no idea who he is, where he is, what he is,
so it fills the holes with whatever dirt's lying around.
He reads a name tag, he's got a name.
Sees a doctor, he's got a job. Sees symptoms, he's got a problem.
FOREMAN: My explanation's simpler.
Well, if it's simple, then we discharge the nutbar,
but if it's complicated, then the nutbar has got brain damage.
So, we let him jerk them around for a few days till we're sure?
No. We let him jerk you around.
There's a faster way.
Mind if we play through?
Sure. What could possibly go wrong?
What's going on here, Martin?
- Operation? - House?
Who is this guy?
HOUSE: Excellent question.
Who are you, Martin?
He just likes to watch and do stuff.
WILSON: Number 10 scalpel for initial incision.
Glad you're here, House.
Of course you are.
It's lecture time.
WILSON: Yeah. It is.
Stop worrying about the power play.
Was that it? I think you can go a lot deeper, here.
I mean, why am I so obsessed by all of this?
You're threatened by Foreman and feel the need to impress Cuddy.
The only thing that's relevant is Foreman is a good doctor.
He can help you.
- Lighten the load. - Good idea.
I'll have him sort my mail.
Sure.
Deflect.
Who is this guy?
I think we just found out.
It's all about Cuddy.
You've got to be the alpha dog.
You can almost smell the pheromones now, huh?
I like him.
- Told you I didn't need you. - House!
House, what is going on?
0w!
Your blood's turned to sludge.
If we don't heat you up, you're gonna die.
Can't fake that!
Mirror Syndrome patients have no agenda, no ax to grind.
They can read you because they have to.
Moods, attitudes, everything. They're like mind readers.
Except they can read your mind.
Where are we going?
Unfortunately, we have to cure him.
His hand wasn't black when he came in.
The operating room was sterile.
Only thing different was the temperature. Cold agglutinins means...
It's gotta be some kind of infection.
No fever, so it's gotta be a tiny infection, hard to find.
And you better find it fast.
This guy feels another cool breeze, his blood turns to slop and he drops.
I need three ways to pinpoint infection.
Blood cultures.
Blood's clumpy. Nothing you can do with it.
Unless we soak him in warm water before we draw it.
Good. What else?
Ultrasound his abdomen. Look for an abscess.
Good. Ladies and gentlemen?
I have a regrettable announcement.
Kitchen has just learned
that our annual shipment of mayonnaise was improperly stored,
so anybody who ate, well, the food
should head across the lobby to the clinic right away.
Ask for Dr. Cuddy.
You're not punishing Cuddy. You're punishing every doctor in the building.
It's her building. Her doctors. Still need one more.
Well, we need to find out his history.
Where he's been, what he's done.
Yeah. He has no memory, but his bio's tattooed to his rear?
The mayo is fine. You can stay where you are. I'm a doctor.
Mail order. I've seen the diploma. There's two N's in University.
Big Love was right. History is the key.
No ID, no wallet, no missing person's report filed for 100 miles...
The key is the key.
He had car keys in his pocket when he was admitted.
Keep him in the isolation room
so he doesn't pick up Extreme Bitch Syndrome from one of the nurses.
Run the ultrasound and the blood cultures.
The cultures were my idea.
No one's keeping score.
You're losing.
Search the street where he was mugged. Find the car and the registration.
There could be thousands of cars.
Hey, why do I get this assignment?
Because, if you deal with the patient,
he's gonna wind up singing Osmond songs and proposing to five nurses at once.
I'll go with Cole.
Ooh!
We have a love connection.
Make a fist.
Little pinch.
Wow. That's a strong pinch.
This thing works. You're lucky you've got me.
My colleague wanted to cook you in boiling water.
That's right, baby. My blood's that good.
That's supposed to be me, right?
No.
That's me. I'm always right. Gotta be.
I don't think I'm always...
If they don't like you, you've gotta be right, or you're not worth anything.
Infections can hide deep beneath the skin.
This will find them.
Who was that last doctor?
Dr. Amber Volakis.
Don't really need her name.
Wait. You saying that you...
I want her?
Don't know what you want. Don't care what you want.
I'm married.
So am I.
Even if I wasn't, she's a little too aggressive for me.
Hey.
Aggressive is never a bad thing.
Yeah. True.
I'm done.
You Okay?
Yeah.
We've gotta run some more tests.
You can clean yourself up.
HOUSE: Lesion on the liver.
- Cystic or solid? - Solid.
Well, you certainly did the right thing by coming to me.
Yes. I needed a smug oncologist to...
An authoritative oncologist.
I hate you. Tell me why.
I've been scanning literature. Very interesting study in Sweden.
Apparently, Giovannini's patients mimic whoever they think's in charge.
Any country with that low an age of consent and that high a rate of suicide
isn't thinking straight.
I am in charge of our relationship.
It was a surgery. You were the surgeon. In that setting...
You would pick up my laundry if I asked you to.
Go ahead. Ask.
I wouldn't do that to you.
I want all my personal private doctors back right now!
Except for Foreman.
Your team, Foreman included,
is dealing with the Great Mayonnaise Panic of 2007.
Frankly, I'm worried it might spread to other continents.
Lesion on the liver. Possibility.
Why are you doing a pelvic for food poisoning?
She said her hoo-hoo burned.
Lesion on the liver. Ideas?
Start with a biopsy to rule out cancer.
KUTNER: Could be an abscess.
Needle works for that, too.
Well, unless it's a vascular hemangioma.
Aspirate that, and he'll bleed out, we'll kill him.
If he bleeds out, we know what he had.
Had?
Two diagnoses out of three, he lives.
We do nothing, three out of three he dies.
Go stick his liver.
TAUB: Where's Foreman? We should...
You need him to draft your letter of resignation?
You risking our patient's life to get back at Cuddy?
What? No. That would be childish.
This is what I'm doing to get back at Cuddy.
Who here doesn't have any health insurance?
Michael Moore was right.
MRls, PET scans, neuropsych tests, private rooms for all these patients.
Fight the power!
(GROANS)
Sorry. I missed.
I have to reposition the needle.
You're gonna feel another pinch.
You still with me?
I'm here.
You feeling faint?
No.
What's wrong?
It's personal.
You got personal problems? You got no memory.
I'm in a hospital. I don't want to be in a hospital.
You're sick, so...
I'm bored.
You ask what's wrong, then you ignore the answer.
Just go on with what you're doing.
You think everything's okay
as long as you don't think about it, don't deal with it.
Is that blood?
I think it's pus from a fungus.
I have fungus in me?
If you've been in the tropics in the last few months.
I saw this in tsunami survivors.
Their skin grafts would ooze black pus sometimes weeks later.
Traced the fungus back to the sand in the tsunami tides.
That's so cool.
BRENNAN: I think the black pus is fungal.
If I'm right, that's where the cold agglutinins are coming from.
That's what's driving his memory loss.
Amber's putting him on amphotericin. It will cure him.
This makes no sense.
I'm doing blood tests to be sure, but the sooner we get him on...
I'm not talking about the infection.
I'm talking about you letting Tonya Harding administer the treatment.
- I'm out of the game. - Why?
A couple of weeks ago, you named me Grumpy.
Said I didn't want to be here, wanted to be back in the third world...
And you realized I'm right just now?
I got a confirmation.
The patient's nuts.
The patient's unbiased.
- The patient has no ax to grind. - The patient is nuts.
I miss my old life.
Helping people who barely have clean water,
let alone the kind of medicines we waste by the SUV-load.
You're nuts. You're gonna be miserable at home, at work, somewhere.
The goal in life is not to eliminate misery.
It's to keep misery to the minimum.
Now, that's inspiring.
You said you came back to get married.
What does your fiancée do?
She's a court reporter.
Uh-huh. Well, I'm sure Thailand will have courts any day, now.
Someone's gonna be miserable sometime. Accept it.
That's how I stay so happy.
Why do you care if I stay?
You're good.
Don't screw it up just because you're miserable.
I'm gonna stay until the patient's cured,
which should be in about an hour.
- You okay? - Not okay.
Which one of us is he mirroring?
Well, if it was you, he'd be inflicting pain on someone else, so...
I'd say he's mimicking whichever one of us happens to be dying.
(GROANING)
KUTNER:The heating blanket wasn't keeping him warm enough.
Ordered a whirlpool, got his blood flowing.
So far, it's keeping his rash at bay.
Rash worse equals cold agglutinins worse.
Means what was in his liver wasn't fungus.
Yeah. Labs confirmed...
That it wasn't even pus.
It was just coagulated blood caused by the cold agglutinins.
Which you mistook for a cool fungus that you saw after the tsunami.
- Same consistency as... - You saw what you wanted to see.
Not what was there.
Wait a second. Didn't you quit?
I spoke to my fiancée. I'm staying.
Of course you are.
Because you're the exact right amount of miserable.
Broad spectrum antibiotics aren't working.
It's got to be viral or exotic bacteria.
There are a thousand microbes it could be.
We could repeat all cultures. Maybe we just missed it.
Or we could get an accurate history.
(CELL PHONE RINGS)
(DOGS BARKING)
We're working on it.
Well, that'll be good solace to the Widow X.
His car was towed, and the tow gate's locked.
Guys must be out on a run.
That's why I sent two of you.
One of you breaks in, the other posts bail.
Getting arrested is not what I'm worried about.
Not a problem. You know how to kill dogs, right?
So, we're back to repeating all the cultures.
Or we get an accurate history.
Didn't we just rule out that possibility?
You guys ever heard any of my metaphors, yet?
Well, come on. Sit on Grandpa's lap as I tell you how infections are criminals.
The immune system's the police. Seriously. Grumpy, get up here.
It will make us both happy.
Anyway, cops don't just let crooks run free.
They keep fingerprints, mug shots.
The immune system does the same thing, only it calls them antibodies.
We find out what diseases he's had in his life,
good chance that'll tell us where he's been in his life.
Alice. Your turn through the looking glass.
I raw blood and ' F.
He)!' guys.
I haven't signed off on this.
You seem like a good guy, Cuddy seems decent,
House doesn't.
It means either you're gonna give in, or Cuddy is.
Either way, I'm sorry.
FOREMAN: Your boyfriend has me at even odds.
So talk to him.
I did. He said he's just responding to market forces.
He is. I got 100 on you.
What do you care what other people are betting on?
If he's trying to screw with me
'cause he's jealous Cuddy didn't ask him to take this job...
Right. You're figuring he's jealous of your misery.
He's messed up enough to...
The problem is you're not miserable.
Then House has been wasting a lot of time.
You've been humiliated. Treated like crap.
You have every right to be miserable, but you're not.
Because even though this job is insane, and House is insane, you like it.
You always have.
You know what's worse than a sanctimonious speech?
A sanctimonious speech that's dead wrong.
See?
You belong with House.
We're gonna use your spinal fluid to tell us where you lived.
Cool.
Not really. It's a poor substitute for an actual history and without...
Nah. It's cool.
Yes. It is.
I need you to stay as still as possible. Ignore the pain.
Bring the pain.
I'm not a masochist.
Neither am I.
I know. But I was responding to you responding to...
Never mind.
I just like experience. If it's new, it's interesting.
Yeah? Not me.
I don't just like new, I gotta have new.
If it's not there, I make it there.
Really, I'm just easily bored.
There are 300 million people in this country.
If I'm doing exactly what everyone else is doing,
then who the hell am I?
You know what I mean?
We're just about finished.
I like hot tubs.
They're nice.
You don't knock?
Are you putting K-Y jelly on his phone receiver?
An exploding snake in his drawer?
No.
I'm replacing his Vicodin stash with laxatives.
- Don't. Don't stoop to his level. - Why?
Because he's suddenly gonna realize he's no longer 14?
Either I take his garbage forever,
or I give him a reason to stop.
You don't have to make him miserable. Just make him think that he's won.
I'm not gonna fire Foreman.
I said think he's won.
Find some other way to soothe his ego. The thing's big enough.
You must be able to find some corner to polish.
Where were you two hours ago?
Where were you?
- What do you have? - High titres to histoplasmosis.
Probably lived in the Ohio River Valley.
Also weakly positive on Coccidiomycosis.
Weak means older.
Means he moved to Ohio from the San Joaquin Valley.
Or he happened to visit California.
He's also positive for Chagas Disease.
Central America.
FOREMAN: Or he kissed his maid from El Salvador.
Or he sat next to someone from Belize on a flight to Weehawken.
- Or he ate lettuce from Honduras. - Yes.
You're right, buzzkill. This tells us next to nothing.
But since that's on the something side of nothing, I thought we'd go with it.
His rash is back.
The hot tub isn't hot enough to keep his body warm.
So, we take his body out of the picture. Let's hit him from the inside.
Lipopolysaccharide.
LPS won't just give him a fever.
He could hit 110. Fry his brain.
HOUSE: Or make him just toasty enough to keep his blood flowing free,
like my bowels.
You smell that?
It's not gonna get sweeter.
You nailed Brennan for seeing what he wanted to see.
- You're no different. - But you are.
You used to like this stuff.
You left here because you didn't like what you were turning into.
Do you like who you are, now?
Do you like being (Buddy's errand boy?
(FLUSHES TOILET)
That was just a courtesy flush. I'm not actually done.
- You want to induce a fever? - Well, unless you're willing
to don a white T-shirt and hop into the hot tub with him,
I need another way to keep him warm or he dies.
- You could maim him. - I could cure him.
I'm not letting you do it.
You gonna fire me?
No.
Wait a second. What the hell was that?
You were won over by my soaring rhetoric?
I basically just threatened to hold my breath.
You never intended to stop me.
You just pretended to stop me,
so you could pretend to fail to stop me,
so you could stroke my ego.
War doesn't end until Foreman's gone.
Foreman's not going anywhere.
And
I know when my Vicodin isn't Vicodin.
Do you know when your birth control pills aren't birth control pills?
If we can keep your fever up, we can get you back on dry land.
You feeling okay?
Surprisingly, yeah.
(HEART MONITOR BEEPING)
I feel pretty good.
That's not the way fevers usually work.
Nothing around here works the way it's supposed to work.
No kidding.
You're giving me a fever.
Doctors don't give people fevers.
It was necessary to keep your blood flowing.
Yeah.
It was necessary.
And that was all that mattered.
It's exciting, isn't it?
You're happy?
Why wouldn't I be?
(HEART MONITOR BEEPING RAPIDLY)
Whoa. Hey. Hey. You with me?
(HEART MONITOR HUMMING)
I need help in here!
- V-fib. We've got to shock him. - Get him out of the water.
How long's he been out?
Just a few seconds.
(BEEPING CONTINUES)
- He's dry enough. - Not yet.
- Dry faster. - Ten more seconds.
- He'll get brain damage. - He needs...
- Kutner, you... - Wait!
He's dry enough. Clear.
(HEART MONITOR BEEPS CONSISTENTLY)
It worked.
For one of them.
TAUB: Cardiac arrest. We were able to shock him back to normal sinus rhythm.
And Kutner nearly into a coma.
So, now, you've electrocuted yourself and set a patient on fire.
- I like the dedication. - Thank you.
- It wasn't a compliment. - Yeah, it was.
The insult comes now. You're insane!
You either have an aversion to towels, or you want pain. I think both.
I'm thinking it goes back to high school gym.
Anybody think we should discuss
which infection is causing the cold agglutinins
before they stop his heart again?
Sure. Why not?
Until they find his car we have to assume he's traveled
to Ohio, California, Central America and possibly Weehawken.
- Nothing on the blood cultures. - Do them again.
Quadruple run time.
We know the infection is in his heart. We do a biopsy.
If we see polys, we've got bacterial. Lymphs, we've got viral.
He just had a heart attack. Ripping out a piece might kill him.
Yeah.
We biopsy his toe instead.
No. That's a terrible idea.
Won't tell us anything. Biopsy his heart. Come on. I'll join you.
I Qvt you a job.
Mount Zion Hospital in Boston.
They have a great diagnostics department.
Gilchrist said he'd take you, anyway.
That was very nice of you.
Oh, God. Does everything have to be about you?
It's simple math.
I'm not gonna back down, you're not gonna back down,
(Buddy's not gonna back down, and no one's gonna be happy here.
- And Cuddy's gonna end up pregnant. - What?
It doesn't matter.
Are you saying...
- What is you having sex with... - Starts Monday.
I could help you pack.
I don't want the job.
(STUTTERS)
Why not? You're miserable.
Apparently not.
Well, you're gonna be.
Are you smiling?
No.
Do your own stupid biopsy.
His name's Robert Elliot. He's from Hamilton, Ohio.
Here's everything he had in his trunk and his glove box.
No need for the heart biopsy.
I now know exactly who he is and what he has.
- You saved his life. - Really?
No, you idiot. It's VapoRub and lunch receipts.
We have his name. We could find his doctor, get his medical records...
It's 8:00 at night. The biopsy will be faster.
Not fast enough to save him, but that's hardly the point.
Thirteen.
Is your name Thirteen?
Why did you volunteer to go streetwalking?
I thought I could help that way.
A black Mormon could help that way.
There's no reason for you to want to be there.
Which means there's a reason you didn't want to be here.
Didn't want to look in the mirror?
(DOOR OPENS)
Hi. Cuddy called. She needs you to iron her shirts.
We'll take over.
Go ahead.
Talk to him.
You might feel a little tug when the catheter's in the heart.
Come on. Make him feel comfortable.
I've done this procedure dozens of times. It's completely...
My God.
You are incredibly hot.
I'm not here. Deal with her.
Are you an idiot?
Do you not think she's hot?
I'm not the alpha here. She is. She's my boss.
The rash is back.
Increase the drip.
If you think that's the right thing to do.
This is so frustrating.
I don't think that's me.
Hey.
Get in there. See how he's doing.
You were just in there.
Apparently, it's impossible to see anything else when I'm in there.
I'm a blinding white hot light of power.
Got it. Pink. Good size.
Nice specimen.
I'm scared.
It's okay. It's gonna be okay.
No.
No, it's not.
I'm not interested in how he's doing.
I'm interested in how she's doing.
So, get in there and tell me how he's doing.
You think he'll mimic her if I'm in there with her?
You're a powerful, dominating man, but who knows?
- So, I'm gonna get fired before her? - Yes.
You're gonna get fired right now unless you get in there...
Nothing on the biopsy.
And how is he?
His fever's at 106...
I know.
But how is he?
Bitter? Sexually frustrated?
He's delightful.
Loves the smell of freshly baked rhubarb pie and isn't afraid to love.
Also, his rash is coming back.
He needs the meds and the tub. Just to keep him stable.
Fine. Soak him again.
He'll be happy. Loves hot tubs.
No. You love hot tubs.
Find the rest of the gang. Tell them to meet me at the lecture hall.
I hate hot tubs.
What did you say?
- I hate... - He likes.
Who else was in there?
No one.
You didn't think to mention that?
The guy likes warm, swirling water. Didn't know that was diagnostic.
It's not.
What it is, is that water hit him, and he had a thought.
Not about you, but about him.
We need to splash him some more.
Do I know you?
You look familiar.
You, too.
My name's Robert Elliot.
I'm from Hamilton, Ohio.
Me, too.
What do you do?
Stuff.
Me, too.
What brings you to New Jersey?
Is it work or vacation?
(GASPS)
Work.
What type of work?
I'm tired.
(HEART MONITOR BEEPING)
I eat out a lot. A lot of restaurants.
The Knotty Pine,
Ritchies.
I know those places.
They're good, huh?
They're convenient.
For what?
They're on the road.
You on the road a lot?
No more than you, I suppose.
You ever use this stuff?
I use it all the time.
Yeah. I just said that.
You know, the cool thing about this stuff is you can do a lot with it.
Soften your skin, you can treat scrapes,
naughty stuff.
(SNIFFS)
Why did you do that?
Because it doesn't smell like dung.
You're saying you like the smell?
Not really.
It just doesn't smell like dung.
Something else does smell like dung?
Yeah.
Dung.
You guys ready?
Now is the time that you stare at me in slack-jawed amazement.
He sells farm equipment.
See? Pig lagoons. Pig farms.
And as every child knows, where you have pigs, you have pig poo.
But as very few children know,
where you have pig poo, you have eperythrozoon infection.
We'll start him on clarithromycin.
This time tomorrow he'll be back to his old self.
Whoever that might be.
It can wait.
He has a temperature of 107.
It can wait 15 minutes.
You know where Cuddy is?
Hi. I'm the Dean of Medicine.
Hi. I'm the guy who saved your life.
So, what if it's House?
Then I take the job at Mount Zion.
There is no job at Mount Zion.
- House said that... - If House said it, it must be true.
I can fire him. I can fire him now. I can fire him tomorrow.
- I don't even need a reason. - She doesn't fire me.
She never will fire me. Because she needs...
He's a good doctor, that's all.
I respect his expertise, and I...
She's hot for me. Always...
Shut up!
Well, that could have been either of us.
You have great yabos.
That still could have been either of us.
You lose.
Seriously. I have always thought my breasts were one of my best features.
Damn.
You all suck.
The two of you took 14 hours to find a car.
You forgot to mention that a guy with no memory had memories.
If you keep on thinking that insane guys have hidden wisdom,
you're gonna wind up shooting people on a subway.
- Something. - So,
which one of us sucks the most?
- It's a tie. - Between?
All of you.
AMBER: We're all fired?
None of you are fired.
(ALL SIGHING)
That was nice of you.
Sure.
Why didn't you fire anyone?
- They're good doctors. - Right.
Why didn't you let Brennan quit?
He's a good doctor.
Right.
By not letting anyone go,
you made six people happy and one person happy and rich.
Chase won every one of those bets. So either you're just really nice or...
What's your cut?
Fifty percent.
How bad do you want to keep your job?
I'll keep my mouth shut.
Hey.
You actually do want to stay, don't you?
I think I do.
Every one of those idiots got some insight about themselves
from the pig salesman, but not one of them did anything about it.
People don't learn. They don't change. But you did.
You're a freak.