1 00:00:06,014 --> 00:00:06,546 COME ON, LET'S GET IT TOGETHER! 2 00:00:06,614 --> 00:00:08,615 COME ON! 3 00:00:08,684 --> 00:00:09,962 McGuirk: DIANE, LET'S GO! 4 00:00:09,986 --> 00:00:11,853 HERE YOU GO! 5 00:00:11,922 --> 00:00:14,056 McGuirk: DIANE, DON'T FALL, GET UP! 6 00:00:14,125 --> 00:00:15,125 Brendon: THAT'S NOT DIANE. 7 00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:15,825 McGuirk: GET UP, DIANE! 8 00:00:15,893 --> 00:00:16,759 THAT'S NOT DIANE. 9 00:00:16,828 --> 00:00:17,561 WHAT'S HER NAME? 10 00:00:17,629 --> 00:00:18,162 Brendon: THAT'S CINDY. 11 00:00:18,230 --> 00:00:18,795 SORRY. 12 00:00:18,864 --> 00:00:21,232 CINDY, GET UP! 13 00:00:21,301 --> 00:00:23,034 WE HAVE A DIANE ON OUR TEAM, RIGHT, BRENDON? 14 00:00:23,103 --> 00:00:24,703 UH... I DON'T KNOW, I THINK SO. 15 00:00:24,772 --> 00:00:26,972 WELL, DIANE AND CINDY, COME ON IN! 16 00:00:27,040 --> 00:00:27,439 McGuirk: THAT'S THE ONLY WAY TO FIND OUT. 17 00:00:27,508 --> 00:00:28,742 I KNOW. 18 00:00:28,810 --> 00:00:29,643 I SEE CINDY COMING—... 19 00:00:29,711 --> 00:00:31,646 I GUESS WE DON'T HAVE A DIANE. 20 00:00:40,358 --> 00:00:45,430 AND TO SUM UP, IN CONCLUSION, UM, SOME INSECTS OR BUGS 21 00:00:45,499 --> 00:00:48,066 ARE VERY HELPFUL TO MANKIND AND OTHERS ARE NOT. 22 00:00:48,135 --> 00:00:49,067 THANK YOU. 23 00:00:49,136 --> 00:00:50,770 OH, VERY NICE, MELISSA. 24 00:00:50,838 --> 00:00:51,638 THANK YOU. 25 00:00:51,707 --> 00:00:52,717 Lynch: VERY NICE. 26 00:00:52,741 --> 00:00:54,274 AS USUAL, VERY GOOD JOB. 27 00:00:54,343 --> 00:00:56,444 OKAY, LET'S SEE WHO'S NEXT HERE. 28 00:00:56,513 --> 00:00:58,180 UH... BRENDON. 29 00:00:58,248 --> 00:01:00,749 UM, UH... I WAS UH... I WAS GOING TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THIS. 30 00:01:00,818 --> 00:01:01,518 Lynch: WHY DON'T YOU COME RIGHT UP HERE? 31 00:01:01,587 --> 00:01:03,753 WE'RE ALL FRIENDS HERE. 32 00:01:03,822 --> 00:01:06,023 NOW, WHAT'S YOUR TOPIC OF YOUR PRESENTATION? 33 00:01:06,092 --> 00:01:07,092 I'M GONNA, UH... 34 00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:07,725 OKAY, WELL, COME ON UP, BRENDON. 35 00:01:07,793 --> 00:01:11,764 HERE'S BRENDON. 36 00:01:11,833 --> 00:01:14,700 THANK YOU, UM... FIRST OF ALL, HOW ARE YOU? 37 00:01:14,770 --> 00:01:15,902 GOOD. 38 00:01:15,971 --> 00:01:17,238 THANK... THANK YOU. 39 00:01:17,306 --> 00:01:20,775 I, UH... 40 00:01:20,844 --> 00:01:23,085 I WANTED TO TALK A LITTLE BIT ABOUT, UH... MY SHOES. 41 00:01:23,148 --> 00:01:24,413 I COULD USE SOME NEW SHOES. 42 00:01:24,482 --> 00:01:25,949 HMM. 43 00:01:26,018 --> 00:01:29,020 I DON'T KNOW... MY BIRTHDAY'S COMING UP, AND, UH... 44 00:01:29,088 --> 00:01:29,621 HMM. 45 00:01:29,689 --> 00:01:31,055 YEAH, UH... 46 00:01:31,124 --> 00:01:32,158 I, UH... HI. 47 00:01:32,226 --> 00:01:33,226 AND, UM... 48 00:01:33,261 --> 00:01:34,527 agonizing: 49 00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:35,596 UH... 50 00:01:35,664 --> 00:01:36,774 OKAY, IS THAT... THAT'S IT? 51 00:01:36,798 --> 00:01:39,467 I... I'VE GOT MORE IF YOU WANT, ABOUT... 52 00:01:39,535 --> 00:01:40,368 OH, UM... I HAVE A FEELING IT'S MORE OF THAT. 53 00:01:40,436 --> 00:01:42,003 IT PRETTY MUCH, UH... 54 00:01:42,072 --> 00:01:42,971 OH, BRENDON. 55 00:01:43,040 --> 00:01:43,838 UH... I KNOW. 56 00:01:43,907 --> 00:01:45,018 Lynch: BRENDON... 57 00:01:45,042 --> 00:01:46,120 I KNOW, I WAS TRYING TO TELL YOU. 58 00:01:46,144 --> 00:01:46,909 I DIDN'T HAVE... 59 00:01:46,978 --> 00:01:48,423 Lynch: YOU KNOW... 60 00:01:48,447 --> 00:01:50,625 I WANT TO SEE YOU AFTER SCHOOL TODAY. 61 00:01:50,649 --> 00:01:52,962 All: OOH! Lynch: WE'LL BE TALKING ABOUT THIS. 62 00:01:52,986 --> 00:01:54,666 I DON'T THINK WE SHOULD RUSH INTO ANYTHING. 63 00:01:56,491 --> 00:01:57,768 Lynch: WE'RE GOING TO HAVE 64 00:01:57,792 --> 00:01:58,803 TO BRING YOUR MOTHER IN ON THIS, I'M SORRY. 65 00:01:58,827 --> 00:01:59,904 NO, I... I CAN TALK TO HER MYSELF. 66 00:01:59,928 --> 00:02:00,861 I... YOU DON'T... YOU DON'T... 67 00:02:00,929 --> 00:02:02,329 I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL TALK TO HER. 68 00:02:02,399 --> 00:02:03,030 YOU DON'T HAVE TO CALL HER OR ANYTHING. 69 00:02:03,099 --> 00:02:03,698 BRENDON? 70 00:02:03,767 --> 00:02:04,932 YES. 71 00:02:05,001 --> 00:02:08,003 YOU'RE A SMART KID AND YOU KNOW HOW TO... 72 00:02:08,071 --> 00:02:09,684 YOUR MOVIES——YOU MAKE YOUR LITTLE MOVIES, RIGHT? 73 00:02:09,708 --> 00:02:10,807 YES. 74 00:02:10,876 --> 00:02:12,019 THAT TAKES A LITTLE BIT OF THOUGHT, RIGHT? 75 00:02:12,043 --> 00:02:13,577 YES! 76 00:02:13,646 --> 00:02:16,087 TAKE THAT ENERGY AND PUT IT INTO A PROJECT THAT'S IMPORTANT... 77 00:02:16,149 --> 00:02:16,581 OH... OH... 78 00:02:16,650 --> 00:02:17,048 TO SCHOOL. 79 00:02:17,117 --> 00:02:18,182 ALRIGHT. 80 00:02:18,251 --> 00:02:20,620 DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? 81 00:02:20,688 --> 00:02:24,391 DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE NOT DOING WELL IN ANY SUBJECT? 82 00:02:24,460 --> 00:02:27,061 AND, UH... IF YOU CONTINUE ON THIS PATH 83 00:02:27,130 --> 00:02:29,465 YOU WILL BE IN FOURTH GRADE FOR THE NEXT FOUR YEARS. 84 00:02:29,534 --> 00:02:31,612 WHAT, YOU MEAN I'M GOING... UH... YOU'RE GONNA HOLD ME BACK? 85 00:02:31,636 --> 00:02:32,469 YES. 86 00:02:32,538 --> 00:02:34,238 THAT'S... UH... 87 00:02:34,306 --> 00:02:36,073 YOU HAVE TO DO BETTER. 88 00:02:36,142 --> 00:02:39,645 WHAT IF, WHAT IF I GOT A SECOND CHANCE TO DO THE REPORT? 89 00:02:39,713 --> 00:02:41,046 I DON'T KNOW. 90 00:02:41,114 --> 00:02:43,260 WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU HAD A SECOND CHANCE... 91 00:02:43,284 --> 00:02:45,786 AND MY MOM'S GOT TO DO THIS CONFERENCE THING, AND... 92 00:02:45,855 --> 00:02:47,132 HE'S GOING TO TELL YOUR MOM? 93 00:02:47,156 --> 00:02:48,856 WELL, I TOLD HIM NOT TO MENTION IT. 94 00:02:48,925 --> 00:02:50,036 BRENDON, THIS IS SERIOUS. 95 00:02:50,060 --> 00:02:52,193 I KNOW! 96 00:02:52,262 --> 00:02:54,141 I DON'T THINK YOU'RE TAKING IT SERIOUSLY. 97 00:02:54,165 --> 00:02:55,364 I DON'T NEED THIS. 98 00:02:55,433 --> 00:02:58,735 I JUST HAD LYNCH SCREAMING AT ME FOR THE LAST HOUR. 99 00:02:58,804 --> 00:03:00,950 WELL, MAYBE STOP THINKING ABOUT YOURSELF FOR A MINUTE. 100 00:03:00,974 --> 00:03:01,639 HOW DO YOU THINK IT'S GOING TO BE FOR ME IF YOU HAVE 101 00:03:01,708 --> 00:03:03,542 TO STAY IN FOURTH GRADE? 102 00:03:03,611 --> 00:03:05,243 AND YOU'RE IN FIFTH? 103 00:03:05,312 --> 00:03:06,112 WELL, YEAH, I'M GOING TO BE IN FIFTH; 104 00:03:06,181 --> 00:03:07,425 I'M NOT GETTING LEFT BACK. 105 00:03:07,449 --> 00:03:09,349 YOU COULD GET HELDED BACK WITH ME. 106 00:03:09,418 --> 00:03:11,263 WELL, I'M NOT THAT GOOD AT NOT DOING MY WORK 107 00:03:11,287 --> 00:03:12,587 THE WAY THAT YOU ARE. 108 00:03:12,655 --> 00:03:13,822 I DIDN'T THINK ABOUT THAT. 109 00:03:13,891 --> 00:03:15,168 WELL, WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO DO? 110 00:03:15,192 --> 00:03:16,092 THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING YOU CAN DO. 111 00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:17,660 UH... I ASKED HIM. 112 00:03:17,729 --> 00:03:19,630 HE SAID I COULD DO THE REPORT AGAIN. 113 00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:20,998 THEN THAT'S IT. 114 00:03:21,067 --> 00:03:22,210 YOU JUST HAVE TO DO THE SPEECH OVER AND YOU THEN 115 00:03:22,234 --> 00:03:24,069 YOU WON'T BE HELD BACK. 116 00:03:24,137 --> 00:03:25,737 YOU KNOW, YOU'RE REALLY HELPING... A LOT. 117 00:03:25,806 --> 00:03:27,272 I JUST TOLD YOU THAT. 118 00:03:27,341 --> 00:03:28,518 NICE ATTITUDE! 119 00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:29,274 HEY, I'M A LITTLE... 120 00:03:29,343 --> 00:03:31,444 HEY, I'M... I'M... 121 00:03:31,513 --> 00:03:32,757 BRENDON, YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT I DID TO GET READY FOR MY SPEECH? 122 00:03:32,781 --> 00:03:33,681 WHAT? 123 00:03:33,750 --> 00:03:35,249 I WENT TO THE LIBRARY. 124 00:03:35,318 --> 00:03:37,019 OH, I'M NOT GOING TO THE LIBRARY. 125 00:03:37,088 --> 00:03:38,821 I USED ENCYCLOPEDIAS. 126 00:03:38,889 --> 00:03:40,490 I'M NOT GOING TO THE LIBRARY. 127 00:03:40,558 --> 00:03:42,070 I XEROXED PICTURES IN THE BOOKS. 128 00:03:42,094 --> 00:03:43,227 RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT—... 129 00:03:43,295 --> 00:03:44,495 WHAT'S YOUR POINT? 130 00:03:44,563 --> 00:03:46,977 MY POINT IS, TAKE MY SPEECH. 131 00:03:47,001 --> 00:03:48,399 HE'S ALREADY HEARD IT. 132 00:03:48,468 --> 00:03:50,081 YOU JUST CHANGE SOME STUFF AROUND A LITTLE BIT. 133 00:03:50,105 --> 00:03:52,038 HE'S ALREADY HEARD IT! 134 00:03:52,107 --> 00:03:52,538 I'LL TRY IT, JUST GIVE IT TO ME. 135 00:03:52,607 --> 00:03:53,685 OKAY. 136 00:03:53,709 --> 00:03:54,975 I'LL FIX SOMETHING, I DUNNO. 137 00:03:58,314 --> 00:03:59,927 HELLO, IS ANYBODY... ARE YOU HOME? 138 00:03:59,951 --> 00:04:01,316 YEAH, I'M HOME. 139 00:04:01,385 --> 00:04:04,621 OKAY, I JUST DECIDED TO COME HOME AND, UH... HANG OUT, 140 00:04:04,690 --> 00:04:06,267 YOU KNOW AND SEE IF THERE'S ANY... 141 00:04:06,291 --> 00:04:06,958 BRENDON, MR. LYNCH CALLED. 142 00:04:07,027 --> 00:04:08,960 OH, JESUS! 143 00:04:09,029 --> 00:04:11,296 YEAH, WELL, HE DID CALL, AND... 144 00:04:11,365 --> 00:04:12,910 I FOUND OUT THAT YOU WERE SUPPOSED 145 00:04:12,934 --> 00:04:14,445 TO HAVE DONE A PRESENTATION FOR CLASS THAT APPARENTLY TURNED OUT 146 00:04:14,469 --> 00:04:16,202 TO BE ABOUT YOUR SHOES. 147 00:04:16,271 --> 00:04:17,983 MOM, I WAS LOOKING DOWN THAT'S ALL THAT I SAW. 148 00:04:18,007 --> 00:04:19,506 IT WAS LIKE AN IMPROMPTU... 149 00:04:19,576 --> 00:04:21,387 BRENDON, YOU'RE GONNA GET HELD BACK IF YOU'RE NOT ABLE 150 00:04:21,411 --> 00:04:22,844 TO COMPLETE THIS ASSIGNMENT. 151 00:04:22,913 --> 00:04:25,682 MOM... Paula: YEAH.. 152 00:04:25,750 --> 00:04:29,219 WHAT I HAVEN'T EXPLAINED TO YOU IS THAT I AM SO FAR BEHIND. 153 00:04:29,288 --> 00:04:32,057 I HAVE NOT DONE HOMEWORK FOR THE LAST YEAR. 154 00:04:32,125 --> 00:04:33,826 BRENDON, THAT IS NOT ACCEPTABLE. 155 00:04:33,895 --> 00:04:35,405 I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST TELL ME THAT 156 00:04:35,429 --> 00:04:36,640 AND I'M SUPPOSED TO BE ALL JOLLY ABOUT IT? 157 00:04:36,664 --> 00:04:38,832 Paula: THAT IS NOT ACCEPTABLE. 158 00:04:38,901 --> 00:04:40,480 MOM, YOU THINK I DON'T FEEL BAD ABOUT THIS? 159 00:04:40,504 --> 00:04:42,404 I'M ON YOUR SIDE. 160 00:04:42,472 --> 00:04:44,551 Paula: SWEETIE, I WANT YOU TO WORK UP TO YOUR POTENTIAL. 161 00:04:44,575 --> 00:04:47,042 AND YOUR POTENTIAL IS VERY, VERY, VERY HIGH. 162 00:04:47,112 --> 00:04:47,978 OH, DON'T DO THAT, MOM. 163 00:04:48,046 --> 00:04:48,878 HONEY? 164 00:04:48,947 --> 00:04:50,080 YEAH? 165 00:04:50,148 --> 00:04:51,193 YOU'RE A LUCKY BOY YOU HAVE MY GENES. 166 00:04:51,217 --> 00:04:52,383 I KNOW. 167 00:04:52,451 --> 00:04:53,864 Paula: ALL RIGHT. 168 00:04:53,888 --> 00:04:54,998 YOU KNOW, THEY'RE MAKING YOU COME IN FOR A MEETING. 169 00:04:55,022 --> 00:04:56,500 I CAN'T GO IN FOR A MEETING—- 170 00:04:56,524 --> 00:04:57,805 YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS. 171 00:04:57,859 --> 00:04:59,670 MOM, I KNOW THIS IS A LOT OF PRESSURE FOR YOU 172 00:04:59,694 --> 00:05:01,239 AND I KNOW YOU DON'T DO WELL IN MEETINGS. 173 00:05:01,263 --> 00:05:02,407 Paula: I DON'T DO WELL IN MEETINGS. 174 00:05:02,431 --> 00:05:03,642 Brendon: YOU'RE THE ONLY CHANCE I'VE GOT. 175 00:05:03,666 --> 00:05:04,298 Paula: BRENDON... 176 00:05:04,367 --> 00:05:05,266 Brendon: MOM, NO... 177 00:05:05,335 --> 00:05:06,579 THE CHANCE YOU'VE GOT... 178 00:05:06,603 --> 00:05:08,115 MOM, JUST LISTEN. JUST DON'T ANSWER FOR A SECOND. 179 00:05:08,139 --> 00:05:09,739 YOU GO TO THE THING. 180 00:05:09,807 --> 00:05:11,307 YOU SCHMOOZE THEM, YOU DO WHATEVER—... 181 00:05:11,376 --> 00:05:12,620 TURN ON THE CHARM, I DON'T KNOW WHAT. 182 00:05:12,644 --> 00:05:14,411 BRENDON! YES? 183 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:15,958 I CANNOT GO TO A PARENT—TEACHER CONFERENCE. 184 00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:18,316 NO, NO, NO, YES, YOU CAN! 185 00:05:18,385 --> 00:05:19,730 Paula: BRENDON, I CAN'T DO THIS. 186 00:05:19,754 --> 00:05:21,098 Brendon: WHAT A MINUTE, THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT ATTITUDE. 187 00:05:21,122 --> 00:05:23,923 MOM, YOU CAN, YOU CAN... YOU ARE SO... 188 00:05:23,992 --> 00:05:26,026 YOU ARE SO SMART AND YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW IT! 189 00:05:26,095 --> 00:05:27,172 HONEY... Brendon: NO, NO! 190 00:05:27,196 --> 00:05:30,131 YOU ARE SO GOOD AT WHAT YOU DO, AND... 191 00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:32,736 WE'LL LAY OUT YOUR CLOTHES TOMORROW... 192 00:05:32,804 --> 00:05:34,750 Brendon: I'LL MAKE YOU SOME BREAKFAST. 193 00:05:34,774 --> 00:05:36,552 BRENDON, I CAN'T GO TO A PAREN—- TEACHER CONFERENCE. 194 00:05:36,576 --> 00:05:39,611 THEY... THEY STARE AT ME FUNNY THE WHOLE TIME. 195 00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:41,492 Paula: YOU'RE GOING TO END UP IN THE FIRST GRADE 196 00:05:41,516 --> 00:05:42,181 BY THE TIME I'M FINISHED TALKING TO THEM. 197 00:05:42,249 --> 00:05:43,249 I'M NOT LISTENING! 198 00:05:45,388 --> 00:05:47,120 ALL RIGHT, I GOT IT. 199 00:05:47,189 --> 00:05:47,688 OKAY, HERE'S WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN. 200 00:05:47,758 --> 00:05:49,090 I'M GONNA... 201 00:05:49,158 --> 00:05:52,060 I'M PLAYING A CHARACTER THAT DOES NOT DO WELL WITH WORK 202 00:05:52,129 --> 00:05:53,907 AND I HAVE TO DO THESE ANNUAL REPORTS 203 00:05:53,931 --> 00:05:55,109 BUT I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING, OKAY? 204 00:05:55,133 --> 00:05:56,344 AND, UH... 205 00:05:56,368 --> 00:05:57,768 AND I HATE GIVING SPEECHES. 206 00:05:57,837 --> 00:05:59,181 AND JASON, THIS IS WHERE YOU COME IN, OKAY? 207 00:05:59,205 --> 00:06:00,872 I PLAY A MONSTER. 208 00:06:00,940 --> 00:06:03,409 YEAH, YOU COME IN AND WE KIND OF SWITCH PLACES 'CAUSE 209 00:06:03,477 --> 00:06:06,646 I TURN INTO YOU AND THEN YOU GO, "I, UH... IT'S NOT MY FAULT." 210 00:06:06,715 --> 00:06:08,181 LET'S DO... 211 00:06:08,250 --> 00:06:14,122 LET'S DO THE MONSTER FIRST, AND THEN ALL THE OTHER PARTS AFTER. 212 00:06:14,190 --> 00:06:15,603 YEAH, WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO SHOOT IN SEQUENCE 213 00:06:15,627 --> 00:06:17,660 'CAUSE I DON'T HAVE ANY EDITING—... 214 00:06:17,729 --> 00:06:20,464 NO, 'CAUSE PEOPLE SHOOT OUT OF SEQUENCE SOMETIMES. 215 00:06:20,533 --> 00:06:22,099 JASON, HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT? 216 00:06:22,168 --> 00:06:24,201 BECAUSE I READ "SCORSESE ON FILM." 217 00:06:24,270 --> 00:06:26,439 OH! OH. 218 00:06:26,507 --> 00:06:28,575 WE SHOULD SHOOT DAY—FOR—NIGHT, 219 00:06:28,644 --> 00:06:30,410 LIKE TRUFFAUT. 220 00:06:30,479 --> 00:06:32,480 YES, GOOD, I'M GONNA THINK ABOUT THAT. 221 00:06:32,549 --> 00:06:34,816 AND... ACTION! 222 00:06:34,884 --> 00:06:36,184 LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, 223 00:06:36,253 --> 00:06:38,655 GOOD PEOPLE OF THE COMPANY WE BROUGHT YOU HERE TODAY 224 00:06:38,723 --> 00:06:42,259 SO THAT BRENDON SMALL CAN GIVE THE ANNUAL REPORT. 225 00:06:42,328 --> 00:06:43,906 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, BRENDON SMALL. 226 00:06:43,930 --> 00:06:46,765 PLEASE GIVE HIM YOUR ATTENTION. 227 00:06:46,834 --> 00:06:49,134 UH... AS FAR AS THE ANNUAL REPORT GOES 228 00:06:49,203 --> 00:06:53,674 I DON'T HAVE IT ON ME, AND, UH... OH... 229 00:06:53,742 --> 00:06:58,179 IN THE MEANTIME, I WOULD... OH... BOY! 230 00:06:58,247 --> 00:07:00,328 I THINK I MIGHT BE TURNING INTO A MONSTER! 231 00:07:00,384 --> 00:07:04,788 OH, MY... AAAAAAH! 232 00:07:04,857 --> 00:07:07,124 I'M A MONSTER. 233 00:07:07,193 --> 00:07:08,425 HELP! 234 00:07:08,495 --> 00:07:11,196 HEY, HE'S USING TELEKINESIS! 235 00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:14,133 THAT'S RIGHT, I'M USING TELEKINESIS! 236 00:07:14,202 --> 00:07:16,181 I'LL BURN YOU ALL UP AND MAKE YOU CRISPY! 237 00:07:16,205 --> 00:07:18,874 MY FLESH IS GETTING HOT! 238 00:07:18,942 --> 00:07:19,841 WELL, HE WAS BETTER LAST YEAR, YEAH. 239 00:07:19,910 --> 00:07:21,253 Friend: Uh—huh. 240 00:07:21,277 --> 00:07:23,679 PEOPLE AT THE SCHOOL DON'T KNOW WHAT TO MAKE OF ME. 241 00:07:23,748 --> 00:07:27,617 THEY JUST SORT OF STARE AT ME WITH THEIR MOUTHS HANGING OPEN. 242 00:07:27,685 --> 00:07:30,087 WELL, ONE OF THE THINGS THAT HAPPENS IS THAT 243 00:07:30,156 --> 00:07:31,901 WHEN I'M IN A SITUATION WHERE IT'S INAPPROPRIATE 244 00:07:31,925 --> 00:07:33,892 FOR ME TO CURSE—... 245 00:07:33,961 --> 00:07:35,539 I CAN'T HELP IT, AND THEREFORE THESE PARENT TEACHER CONFERENCES 246 00:07:35,563 --> 00:07:37,363 GO REALLY, REALLY BAD. 247 00:07:37,432 --> 00:07:39,044 YOU KNOW, I SAY EVERYTHING I THINK. 248 00:07:39,068 --> 00:07:40,212 THAT'S OBSESSIVE—COMPULSIVE DISORDER IS 249 00:07:40,236 --> 00:07:41,735 YOU SAY EVERYTHING YOU THINK. 250 00:07:41,804 --> 00:07:43,382 IN FACT I EVEN SAY SOME THINGS THAT YOU THINK 251 00:07:43,406 --> 00:07:44,907 THAT I HADN'T THOUGHT OF. 252 00:07:44,975 --> 00:07:46,687 OF COURSE AT THE LAST ONE, I BROUGHT DRINKS 253 00:07:46,711 --> 00:07:50,514 AND MAYBE THAT WAS A MISTAKE, AND I KNOW THAT NOW. 254 00:07:50,583 --> 00:07:53,852 I HAD THAT LITTLE TO—GO JIGGER CUP THING. 255 00:07:53,920 --> 00:07:57,622 WELL, IT SEEMS THAT THE MONSTER HAS TAKEN OVER NEW YORK 256 00:07:57,691 --> 00:08:01,294 AND IT'S MY DUTY AS CAPTAIN OF THE... ARMY TO KILL THE MONSTER. 257 00:08:01,363 --> 00:08:02,997 EXCUSE ME. 258 00:08:03,066 --> 00:08:04,143 Jason/Monster: MONSTER COMING THROUGH. 259 00:08:04,167 --> 00:08:04,798 COMING THROUGH—— HOW YOU DOING? 260 00:08:04,868 --> 00:08:05,868 AIM FOR HIS HEART! 261 00:08:05,936 --> 00:08:07,656 Brendon: KILL HIM! FIRE! 262 00:08:09,240 --> 00:08:11,474 AAAH! 263 00:08:11,542 --> 00:08:14,779 DIRECT HIT. 264 00:08:14,847 --> 00:08:17,082 MAYBE YOU SHOULD LOOK AT YOURSELVES 265 00:08:17,151 --> 00:08:19,919 BEFORE YOU TAKE IT OUT ON ME! 266 00:08:19,988 --> 00:08:22,956 I'M JUST ONE MONSTER... 267 00:08:23,025 --> 00:08:25,225 AND WHEN I'M GONE... 268 00:08:25,294 --> 00:08:26,828 YOU'LL REMEMBER ME! 269 00:08:26,897 --> 00:08:27,695 OW! 270 00:08:27,764 --> 00:08:28,396 OW! 271 00:08:28,464 --> 00:08:30,732 OW! 272 00:08:30,802 --> 00:08:33,170 AND THEN YOU'LL HAVE TO LOOK AT YOURSELVES 273 00:08:33,238 --> 00:08:36,540 AND OWN UP TO WHAT YOU'VE DONE! 274 00:08:36,609 --> 00:08:39,143 Jason/Monster: FOR ISN'T EVERY MAN A MONSTER? 275 00:08:39,212 --> 00:08:40,545 I GUESS HE'S RIGHT. 276 00:08:40,614 --> 00:08:42,080 I GUESS WE'RE ALL... 277 00:08:42,149 --> 00:08:43,294 YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I'M RIGHT! 278 00:08:43,318 --> 00:08:44,750 I... I KNOW. 279 00:08:44,820 --> 00:08:46,085 SO STOP SHOOTING! 280 00:08:46,154 --> 00:08:48,189 OKAY, HEY, GUYS... 281 00:08:48,257 --> 00:08:49,869 DON'T YOU REALIZE THAT IF YOU STOP NOW 282 00:08:49,893 --> 00:08:51,226 I MIGHT BE ABLE TO GET SURGERY? 283 00:08:51,295 --> 00:08:52,660 UH... YEAH, NO, NO... 284 00:08:52,729 --> 00:08:54,363 I'M GONNA TELL 'EM, HOLD ON. 285 00:08:54,432 --> 00:08:56,511 TELL THE GUY WHO'S SHOOTING TO STOP SHOOTING! 286 00:08:56,535 --> 00:08:58,568 WHO'S SHOOTING? 287 00:08:58,637 --> 00:09:00,598 OH, FOR GOD'S SAKE, TELL 'EM TO STOP! 288 00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:01,772 I'M TRYING. 289 00:09:01,842 --> 00:09:02,606 I MEAN, HELLO! 290 00:09:02,675 --> 00:09:04,343 I KNOW. 291 00:09:04,411 --> 00:09:05,956 DO YOU HAVE ANY CONTROL OVER YOUR PEOPLE? 292 00:09:05,980 --> 00:09:06,545 I... 293 00:09:06,614 --> 00:09:07,547 OW! 294 00:09:07,615 --> 00:09:09,249 HEY, YOU GUYS, WHO'S SHOOTING? 295 00:09:09,318 --> 00:09:10,319 WHO IS SHOOTING? 296 00:09:10,386 --> 00:09:11,752 OH, FORGET IT. 297 00:09:11,821 --> 00:09:13,956 LEAVE IT ALONE. I'LL JUST DIE. 298 00:09:14,024 --> 00:09:17,093 LOOK, HE'S TURNING BACK TO A MAN. 299 00:09:18,997 --> 00:09:20,878 WHY'D YOU MAKE ME DO THAT SPEECH? 300 00:09:23,169 --> 00:09:23,768 McGuirk: LYNCH, HOW ARE YOU? 301 00:09:23,837 --> 00:09:24,502 OH, HELLO, McGUIRK. 302 00:09:24,571 --> 00:09:25,170 HOW YOU DOING? 303 00:09:25,239 --> 00:09:26,137 OH, I'M FINE. 304 00:09:26,206 --> 00:09:27,617 McGuirk: YEAH? 305 00:09:27,641 --> 00:09:29,976 I DIDN'T COME UP HERE JUST TO TALK TO YOU AND CHAT. 306 00:09:30,044 --> 00:09:32,057 I WAS WONDERING WHAT HAPPENED TO BRENDON SMALL YESTERDAY. 307 00:09:32,081 --> 00:09:34,648 I UNDERSTAND HE WAS WITH YOU AFTER SCHOOL AND, YOU KNOW, 308 00:09:34,717 --> 00:09:37,086 I HAD A 3:30 PRACTICE, AND... 309 00:09:37,154 --> 00:09:38,966 MY UNDERSTANDING, LYNCH WAS THAT BRENDON WAS GOING 310 00:09:38,990 --> 00:09:40,723 TO BE AT PRACTICE YESTERDAY. 311 00:09:40,792 --> 00:09:42,837 I NEED HIM AT PRACTICE EVERY DAY THIS WEEK 312 00:09:42,861 --> 00:09:45,696 BECAUSE WE'VE GOT A GAME AGAINST KENT COMING UP ON SATURDAY. 313 00:09:45,765 --> 00:09:46,397 THAT'S AN IMPORTANT GAME, ISN'T IT? 314 00:09:46,465 --> 00:09:47,266 IT IS. 315 00:09:47,334 --> 00:09:48,466 MM—HMM. 316 00:09:48,535 --> 00:09:49,779 WHAT DO YOU ACTUALLY TEACH, LYNCH? 317 00:09:49,803 --> 00:09:51,582 I NEVER UNDERSTOOD EXACTLY WHAT YOU DO. 318 00:09:51,606 --> 00:09:52,738 IT'S FOURTH GRADE—... 319 00:09:52,807 --> 00:09:55,376 I TEACH ALL SUBJECTS EXCEPT FOR SOCCER. 320 00:09:55,444 --> 00:09:56,955 YEAH, WELL, I MEAN, SOCCER IS NOT THE ONLY THING I TEACH, 321 00:09:56,979 --> 00:09:57,991 BY THE WAY. 322 00:09:58,015 --> 00:09:59,425 Lynch: REALLY? THAT'S CORRECT. 323 00:09:59,449 --> 00:10:01,317 McGuirk: SOCCER IS FALL AND WINTER. 324 00:10:01,386 --> 00:10:03,063 I HAVE A SPRING SPORT AS WELL... 325 00:10:03,087 --> 00:10:05,455 WHICH IS ALSO SOCCER. 326 00:10:05,524 --> 00:10:07,002 SO I GUESS I JUST TEACH SOCCER BUT IT'S TWO SEASONS 327 00:10:07,026 --> 00:10:08,326 SEPARATED BY... 328 00:10:08,395 --> 00:10:10,328 WHAT IF BRENDON IS NOT DOING WELL IN SOCCER? 329 00:10:10,397 --> 00:10:11,797 DO YOU WANT HIM TO DO BETTER? 330 00:10:11,865 --> 00:10:13,299 YOU KNOW, LYNCH, IT'S FUNNY—... 331 00:10:13,367 --> 00:10:15,479 WHEN I TALK TO YOU, I GET A LITTLE UNCOMFORTABLE 332 00:10:15,503 --> 00:10:18,005 BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE YOU'RE BEING CONDESCENDING TO ME 333 00:10:18,074 --> 00:10:20,742 AND I HOPE THAT'S NOT THE CASE BECAUSE IF IT IS, 334 00:10:20,811 --> 00:10:23,545 I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS AND IF IT ISN'T, 335 00:10:23,613 --> 00:10:25,526 THEN LET'S CLEAR IT UP RIGHT NOW. 336 00:10:25,550 --> 00:10:28,785 SO YOU COULD TELL ME WHETHER YOU'RE BEING CONDESCENDING TO ME 337 00:10:28,854 --> 00:10:32,190 WHENEVER WE SPEAK AND IF YOU SAY "YES," I'M GOING TO BEAT YOU UP 338 00:10:32,259 --> 00:10:34,580 RIGHT HERE IN THE FACULTY LOUNGE AND IF YOU SAY "NO," 339 00:10:34,628 --> 00:10:35,839 I'M GONNA SAY "FINE." 340 00:10:35,863 --> 00:10:36,462 OKAY. 341 00:10:36,530 --> 00:10:38,898 ALL RIGHT. 342 00:10:38,968 --> 00:10:40,412 YOU BEING CONDESCENDING RIGHT NOW? 343 00:10:40,436 --> 00:10:41,702 HMM... 344 00:10:46,677 --> 00:10:50,546 SO, HERE'S BRENDON WITH HIS NEW PRESENTATION. 345 00:10:50,615 --> 00:10:51,548 BRENDON? 346 00:10:51,617 --> 00:10:52,761 Brendon: THANK YOU. 347 00:10:52,785 --> 00:10:56,188 I DECIDED THIS TIME THAT I WAS GOING TO PREPARE 348 00:10:56,256 --> 00:10:59,792 BECAUSE LAST TIME, WHOO! YOU KNOW? 349 00:10:59,861 --> 00:11:03,130 SO THIS TIME I... I WENT TO THE LIBRARY AND I'M JUST HERE 350 00:11:03,199 --> 00:11:05,467 TO TELL YOU PEOPLE THAT 351 00:11:05,535 --> 00:11:10,506 YOU CAN'T JUST GO TO THE LIBRARY AND EXPECT TO SIT DOWN 352 00:11:10,574 --> 00:11:12,542 AND HAVE A REPORT JUST HAPPEN—— 353 00:11:12,611 --> 00:11:15,746 JUST TO FALL IN YOUR LAP HERE, YOU KNOW? 354 00:11:15,815 --> 00:11:17,426 THAT'S SOMETHING YOU HAVE TO PUT EFFORT INTO 355 00:11:17,450 --> 00:11:20,319 AND IF YOU THINK YOU'RE JUST GONNA SQUEEZE BY 356 00:11:20,387 --> 00:11:22,828 WITHOUT DOING ANY WORK THEN YOU'VE GOT ANOTHER THING COMING. 357 00:11:22,891 --> 00:11:24,491 EVERYBODY, BRENDON SMALL. 358 00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:26,027 GOOD JOB, BRENDON. 359 00:11:37,810 --> 00:11:39,722 McGuirk: BRENDON, BRENDON, THE BALL! 360 00:11:39,746 --> 00:11:40,511 I... I... 361 00:11:40,580 --> 00:11:42,548 THE BALL'S GOING BY YOU. 362 00:11:42,616 --> 00:11:43,249 Brendon: DON'T WORRY. 363 00:11:43,318 --> 00:11:44,150 BRENDON, COME OUT. 364 00:11:44,219 --> 00:11:45,018 I'VE GOT IT UNDER CONTROL. 365 00:11:45,087 --> 00:11:45,685 COME ON, FORGET IT. 366 00:11:45,754 --> 00:11:47,454 I'M DOING IT! 367 00:11:47,522 --> 00:11:48,055 BRENDON, I CAN'T TALK TO YOU FROM THERE. 368 00:11:48,123 --> 00:11:48,756 NOW COME IN. 369 00:11:48,825 --> 00:11:50,458 I HAVE A QUESTION. 370 00:11:50,526 --> 00:11:51,537 McGuirk: COME TO ME! 371 00:11:51,561 --> 00:11:53,229 I'VE GOT A QUESTION. 372 00:11:53,297 --> 00:11:54,407 McGuirk: BRENDON, YOU'RE SCREWING THE GAME UP. 373 00:11:54,431 --> 00:11:56,566 NOW, COME IN HERE! 374 00:11:56,634 --> 00:11:57,912 McGuirk: MELISSA, GO GET BRENDON AND BRING HIM BACK HERE, 375 00:11:57,936 --> 00:11:58,936 PLEASE, ALL RIGHT? 376 00:12:00,373 --> 00:12:02,518 WHAT DO YOU MEAN, TOO MANY PEOPLE ON THE FIELD? 377 00:12:02,542 --> 00:12:04,587 COME ON, REF, I'M TRYING TO GET THE KID OUT. 378 00:12:04,611 --> 00:12:05,789 I SENT THE KID IN TO GET THE KID OUT. 379 00:12:05,813 --> 00:12:06,512 THAT'S WHAT I DID. 380 00:12:06,581 --> 00:12:08,514 YOU SAW IT. 381 00:12:08,584 --> 00:12:09,383 McGuirk: OH, COME ON! 382 00:12:09,451 --> 00:12:11,185 PUT DOWN THE WHISTLE. 383 00:12:11,254 --> 00:12:12,631 BRENDON? YEAH? 384 00:12:12,655 --> 00:12:14,734 GO TO THE STORE AND GET ME SOME SODA. OKAY. 385 00:12:14,758 --> 00:12:15,802 McGuirk: THIS IS RIDICULOUS. 386 00:12:15,826 --> 00:12:18,160 OH, COME ON, REF! 387 00:12:28,609 --> 00:12:31,177 I PUT THE BEEPER NUMBER BY THE PHONE. 388 00:12:31,246 --> 00:12:32,724 Paula: UM, 8:30 IS BEDTIME. 389 00:12:32,748 --> 00:12:34,415 HMM? 390 00:12:34,484 --> 00:12:36,518 IT WAS 7:30 UNTIL JUST VERY SHORT... 391 00:12:36,586 --> 00:12:37,819 MM—HMM. 392 00:12:37,888 --> 00:12:38,932 I ONLY WANT THE KIDS UP 15 OR 20 MINUTES A DAY. 393 00:12:38,956 --> 00:12:39,689 MMM. 394 00:12:39,757 --> 00:12:41,857 AND, UH... 395 00:12:41,926 --> 00:12:43,905 MAKE SURE THAT YOU DO THE ZIPLOC BAGS WHEN YOU PUT THE FOOD 396 00:12:43,929 --> 00:12:44,795 BACK IN THE REFRIGERATOR. 397 00:12:44,863 --> 00:12:46,163 MAKE SURE YOU DO THE ZIP. 398 00:12:46,232 --> 00:12:47,498 SEE HOW IT CHANGES COLOR THERE? 399 00:12:47,567 --> 00:12:48,433 MM—HMM, MM—HMM. 400 00:12:48,501 --> 00:12:49,946 Paula: WATCH THIS. 401 00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:52,939 SEE HOW YOU PUSH IT DOWN AND IT MAKES IT CHANGE COLOR? 402 00:12:53,007 --> 00:12:53,840 THAT'S THE ONLY WAY TO KNOW YOU'VE LOCKED IN THE FRESHNESS. 403 00:12:53,908 --> 00:12:55,608 MM—HMM, MM—HMM. 404 00:12:55,677 --> 00:12:56,344 HOW LATE CAN YOU STAY? 405 00:12:56,412 --> 00:12:57,345 MM—HMM. 406 00:12:57,413 --> 00:12:58,713 MM—HMM. 407 00:12:58,781 --> 00:13:00,342 MM—HMM. MM—HMM. 408 00:13:00,384 --> 00:13:01,944 MM—HMM. MM—HMM. 409 00:13:06,625 --> 00:13:07,902 Samantha: THEY'RE DOWNSTAIRS MAKING A MOVIE. 410 00:13:07,926 --> 00:13:08,559 OOH, WHAT ELSE DO THESE PEOPLE HAVE? 411 00:13:08,627 --> 00:13:09,828 OOH, SNACK PAC. 412 00:13:09,896 --> 00:13:11,929 OH—UH, WHAT IS THIS? 413 00:13:11,998 --> 00:13:13,310 YOU SHOULD SEE WHAT'S IN THE ICE—CREAM SECTION. 414 00:13:13,334 --> 00:13:14,800 THIS THING'S OLDER THAN ME. 415 00:13:14,869 --> 00:13:16,247 I COULD DIE EATING THE FOOD IN HERE. 416 00:13:16,271 --> 00:13:17,337 I COULD ACTUALLY DIE. 417 00:13:17,406 --> 00:13:18,406 I COULD HAVE A... 418 00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:20,018 OH, MY GOD, I COULD HAVE A LAWSUIT. 419 00:13:20,042 --> 00:13:22,076 WE CAN WORK THIS THING OUT. 420 00:13:22,144 --> 00:13:24,747 I WAS ON THE PHONE TALKING TO MY FRIEND. 421 00:13:24,815 --> 00:13:27,751 ALL OF A SUDDEN I HAD A BITE OF SHERBET AND, OH, THE SHERBET—... 422 00:13:27,819 --> 00:13:29,854 IT'S BAD, BAD SHERBET. 423 00:13:30,956 --> 00:13:31,589 BRENDON. 424 00:13:31,657 --> 00:13:32,924 YES. 425 00:13:32,993 --> 00:13:34,738 WE'RE VERY HAPPY THAT YOU'RE, UM... 426 00:13:34,762 --> 00:13:35,960 YES? 427 00:13:36,029 --> 00:13:39,633 THAT YOU CAME TO LIVE WITH US IN OUR GUESTHOUSE 428 00:13:39,702 --> 00:13:42,436 AND WE'RE SO HAPPY YOU DECIDED TO MOVE TO OUR SMALL TOWN. 429 00:13:42,505 --> 00:13:43,971 WHY DID YOU? 430 00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:46,375 I MEAN, A GUY LIKE YOU... 431 00:13:46,444 --> 00:13:49,077 I KNOW, I DON'T LIKE TO TALK ABOUT ANYTHING. 432 00:13:49,146 --> 00:13:51,548 YEAH, YOU'RE VERY TIGHT—LIPPED ABOUT YOUR PAST. 433 00:13:51,617 --> 00:13:52,416 I GET THAT A LOT. 434 00:13:52,484 --> 00:13:53,350 RIGHT. 435 00:13:53,420 --> 00:13:53,984 YEAH. 436 00:13:54,053 --> 00:13:55,053 WHY? 437 00:13:55,087 --> 00:13:56,889 HEY, HOW ARE YOU GUYS DOING? 438 00:13:56,957 --> 00:13:59,458 FINE, BUT WHAT ABOUT YOUR PAST? 439 00:13:59,527 --> 00:14:01,206 IT'S BEST YOU DON'T KNOW TOO MUCH ABOUT... 440 00:14:02,564 --> 00:14:04,410 THERE'S ONE THING I DO KNOW AND THAT'S THAT 441 00:14:04,434 --> 00:14:06,768 IT'S SOMEBODY'S BIRTHDAY. 442 00:14:06,837 --> 00:14:08,069 HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BRENDON. 443 00:14:08,138 --> 00:14:09,538 OH, YOU GUYS. 444 00:14:09,607 --> 00:14:11,140 BLOW OUT THE CANDLES. 445 00:14:11,209 --> 00:14:11,874 MAKE A WISH. 446 00:14:11,943 --> 00:14:14,010 SPEECH, SPEECH. 447 00:14:14,079 --> 00:14:14,478 NO, WHAT'D YOU SAY? 448 00:14:14,547 --> 00:14:15,011 SPEECH. 449 00:14:15,081 --> 00:14:16,413 NO! 450 00:14:20,088 --> 00:14:22,321 YOU WOULDN'T LIKE ME WHEN I GIVE A SPEECH!! 451 00:14:23,359 --> 00:14:24,691 WHAT'S HAPPENING? 452 00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:25,760 MY CAKE. 453 00:14:25,794 --> 00:14:26,835 I'LL KILL YOU FIRST. 454 00:14:26,863 --> 00:14:29,897 I'LL KILL YOU FIRST, LADY. 455 00:14:29,966 --> 00:14:31,511 ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU HAVE O.C.D.? 456 00:14:31,535 --> 00:14:32,368 I HAVE O.C.D. 457 00:14:32,436 --> 00:14:33,269 Both: HMM. 458 00:14:33,337 --> 00:14:35,405 IT MEANS TWO THINGS. 459 00:14:35,474 --> 00:14:37,085 IT MEANS, UH... IT MEANS I CAN'T BE QUIET. 460 00:14:37,109 --> 00:14:38,520 Both: MM—HMM. 461 00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:39,477 A LOT OF TIMES I FIND MYSELF TALKING ABOUT THINGS 462 00:14:39,545 --> 00:14:42,180 THAT AREN'T REALLY THE SUBJECT. 463 00:14:42,249 --> 00:14:43,493 WHENEVER I COME TO THESE PAREN—- TEACHER CONFERENCES, 464 00:14:43,517 --> 00:14:46,452 I CAN'T... I SAY F——K OVER AND OVER AGAIN 465 00:14:46,521 --> 00:14:49,189 AND IT TURNS OUT THAT THAT IS A... 466 00:14:49,258 --> 00:14:51,203 IT'S LIKE A COUSIN OF TOURETTE'S OR SOMETHING. 467 00:14:51,227 --> 00:14:53,038 IT'S A SYMPTOM WHERE, YOU KNOW F——K THIS, F——K THAT, 468 00:14:53,062 --> 00:14:54,229 F——KIN' PHONICS. 469 00:14:54,299 --> 00:14:55,998 IT'S A PROBLEM. 470 00:14:56,066 --> 00:14:57,679 AND, AND, YOU KNOW A LOT OF TIMES I THINK, 471 00:14:57,703 --> 00:15:00,003 FOR THESE RELATIONSHIPS WHERE, YOU KNOW, 472 00:15:00,071 --> 00:15:01,384 THE KIND OF RELATIONSHIPS WITH BRENDON'S TEACHERS... 473 00:15:01,408 --> 00:15:02,640 MM—HMM... 474 00:15:02,709 --> 00:15:06,144 I THINK I GET OFF ON A BAD START AND THEN I GET OFF 475 00:15:06,214 --> 00:15:08,781 ON A BAD MIDDLE AND THEN EVENTUALLY, I GO TO A BAD END. 476 00:15:08,850 --> 00:15:09,860 HOLD I HAVE TO TAKE MY SWEATER OFF 477 00:15:09,884 --> 00:15:11,986 BECAUSE I'M REALLY F——KIN' HOT. 478 00:15:12,054 --> 00:15:13,499 Samantha: UH... SORT OF. 479 00:15:13,523 --> 00:15:14,968 I GUESS, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT TO CALL IT. 480 00:15:14,992 --> 00:15:17,293 NUH, HE WAS A WIMP. 481 00:15:17,362 --> 00:15:20,563 YOU KNOW, I, I... HE WASN'T GONNA PUT HIS ARM AROUND ME 482 00:15:20,633 --> 00:15:22,966 SO I PUT MY ARM AROUND HIM AND I COULD FEEL HIM 483 00:15:23,035 --> 00:15:25,537 TWITCH A LITTLE BIT SO I TIGHTENED MY GRIP A LITTLE BIT 484 00:15:25,606 --> 00:15:27,706 AND I SAID, "DON'T TWITCH, RELAX. 485 00:15:27,775 --> 00:15:30,042 JUST RELAX, RELAX, WE'RE HAVING FUN, YOU KNOW" 486 00:15:30,111 --> 00:15:31,789 AND I COULD FEEL HIM LIKE TRYING TO PULL. 487 00:15:31,813 --> 00:15:33,325 HE WAS PULLING THE OTHER WAY AND I WAS LIKE, 488 00:15:33,349 --> 00:15:34,516 "HEY, I REALLY LIKE YOU. 489 00:15:34,584 --> 00:15:36,496 I THINK YOU'RE REALLY A NICE PERSON." 490 00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:37,664 AND I PULLED HIM IN AND ALL OF A SUDDEN LO AND BEHOLD, 491 00:15:37,688 --> 00:15:38,887 HE'S IN A HEADLOCK. 492 00:15:38,956 --> 00:15:40,835 HE'S LIKE, "LET ME OUT OF THIS HEADLOCK!" 493 00:15:40,859 --> 00:15:42,892 I DON'T KNOW, HE HASN'T CALLED. 494 00:15:42,961 --> 00:15:43,460 Jason: BRENDON? 495 00:15:43,529 --> 00:15:45,929 AND A ...YES? 496 00:15:45,998 --> 00:15:47,198 I HAVE A SORE THROAT. 497 00:15:47,267 --> 00:15:49,100 FROM SCREAMING? 498 00:15:49,170 --> 00:15:50,747 Jason: YES. THAT WAS, UH... 499 00:15:50,771 --> 00:15:53,640 BUT ALSO, I HAVE PINK—EYE, TOO. 500 00:15:53,708 --> 00:15:55,709 OH, JASON. 501 00:15:55,778 --> 00:15:58,012 I'M GONNA... I'M GONNA GET OUT OF HERE. 502 00:15:58,081 --> 00:15:59,161 HEY, THANKS FOR COMING. 503 00:15:59,215 --> 00:16:00,682 I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW, DUANE. 504 00:16:00,751 --> 00:16:02,284 OKAY, I'LL SEE YOU. 505 00:16:02,353 --> 00:16:03,285 Brendon: JASON, YOU SHOULDN'T BE... 506 00:16:03,354 --> 00:16:04,688 'CAUSE WE'RE GONNA GET SICK NOW. 507 00:16:04,757 --> 00:16:06,857 IF YOU'RE CONTAGIOUS, YOU SHOULD STAY AT HOME. 508 00:16:06,925 --> 00:16:08,526 THAT'S WHAT MY MOM SAID. 509 00:16:08,595 --> 00:16:10,072 DOES YOUR MOM KNOW THAT YOU LEFT? 510 00:16:10,096 --> 00:16:11,207 Brendon: YOUR MOM WAS RIGHT, JASON. 511 00:16:11,231 --> 00:16:12,531 I'M DIZZY. 512 00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:14,210 MAYBE WE SHOULD TELL THE BABY—SITTER. 513 00:16:14,234 --> 00:16:15,067 OKAY. 514 00:16:15,136 --> 00:16:16,136 YEAH. 515 00:16:16,738 --> 00:16:18,472 OH, GOD. 516 00:16:18,541 --> 00:16:19,339 COVER YOUR MOUTH. 517 00:16:19,409 --> 00:16:21,476 COUGH THE OTHER WAY, PLEASE. 518 00:16:21,545 --> 00:16:22,844 HOLD IT, I'M CHOKING. 519 00:16:25,917 --> 00:16:27,350 OH, I THINK I'M BETTER. 520 00:16:27,419 --> 00:16:28,660 CAN I GET YOU A GLASS OF WATER? 521 00:16:28,721 --> 00:16:30,554 NO, NOTHING FOR ME, THANK YOU. 522 00:16:30,623 --> 00:16:32,034 I DON'T LIKE TO DRINK IN FRONT OF YOU PEOPLE. 523 00:16:32,058 --> 00:16:32,757 'CAUSE OF WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME? 524 00:16:32,826 --> 00:16:33,491 WELL, YES. 525 00:16:33,559 --> 00:16:34,737 Both: HMM. 526 00:16:34,762 --> 00:16:36,562 NOW, I HAVE TO ASK YOU THIS. 527 00:16:36,631 --> 00:16:38,932 DO YOU DO A FAIR AMOUNT OF DRINKING DURING THE WEEK? 528 00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:40,645 Lynch: EVERY DAY? 529 00:16:40,669 --> 00:16:43,471 NO, I USED TO HAVE A LITTLE RELAXER, A LITTLE... 530 00:16:43,540 --> 00:16:46,575 ONE GLASS OF WINE, A RELAXER, EVERY EVENING 531 00:16:46,644 --> 00:16:47,787 WHICH WOULD MAKE BRENDON'S HOMEWORK A LOT EASIER 532 00:16:47,811 --> 00:16:49,746 FOR ME TO DO. 533 00:16:49,814 --> 00:16:53,417 Jason: I ALSO HAVE URINARY TRACT INFECTION. 534 00:16:53,486 --> 00:16:54,997 IS THAT WHEN IT BURNS WHEN YOU PEE? 535 00:16:55,021 --> 00:16:56,788 UM, IT FEELS WEIRD. 536 00:16:56,857 --> 00:16:57,857 OH, MAN. 537 00:16:57,924 --> 00:16:59,892 LIKE THERE'S STUFF IN IT. 538 00:16:59,961 --> 00:17:01,160 LIKE FIRE? 539 00:17:01,229 --> 00:17:03,330 NO, LIKE RICE. 540 00:17:04,733 --> 00:17:06,045 YOU KNOW, ONE TIME, WHO WAS IT?—... 541 00:17:06,069 --> 00:17:07,969 RUSSELL WEST, I THINK—... 542 00:17:08,038 --> 00:17:10,539 SPIT OUTSIDE SO MISS MARTIN MADE HIM SPIT INTO A JAR. 543 00:17:12,978 --> 00:17:15,813 HE HAD TO FILL A WHOLE JAR WITH SPIT AND I WAS SO JEALOUS. 544 00:17:17,784 --> 00:17:19,463 I HAD ECZEMA ONCE BUT THAT'S NOT CONTAGIOUS. 545 00:17:19,487 --> 00:17:21,653 I HAVE ECZEMA. 546 00:17:21,722 --> 00:17:23,289 WHERE DO YOU HAVE IT? 547 00:17:23,358 --> 00:17:28,730 I HAVE IT ON ELBOW, KNEE, CROTCH, AND, UM, UNDERARM 548 00:17:28,799 --> 00:17:32,234 AND I HAVE HEAD ECZEMA, WHICH IS CALLED "CRADLE CAP." 549 00:17:32,303 --> 00:17:33,769 WHAT IS CRADLE CAP? 550 00:17:33,838 --> 00:17:35,438 HERE, I'LL SHOW YOU. 551 00:17:35,508 --> 00:17:36,985 OH, YOU TAKE IT OUT OF YOUR HEAD. 552 00:17:37,009 --> 00:17:38,976 Melissa: OH, OHH! 553 00:17:39,045 --> 00:17:39,444 Jason: IT'S WHITE. 554 00:17:39,513 --> 00:17:40,556 EWW! 555 00:17:40,580 --> 00:17:41,979 OH, JESUS. 556 00:17:42,048 --> 00:17:42,981 Melissa: YOU SHOULD WEAR A HAT. 557 00:17:43,050 --> 00:17:45,284 AND IT FEELS GOOD WHEN I PICK IT OFF 558 00:17:45,352 --> 00:17:48,054 BUT THE TEACHERS HIT ME WHEN I DO IT. 559 00:17:48,123 --> 00:17:50,190 MR. IRVIN HIT ME WHEN I HAD... 560 00:17:50,259 --> 00:17:51,459 HE REALLY HIT YOU? 561 00:17:51,528 --> 00:17:53,796 'CAUSE I KEPT PICKING CRADLE CAP, 562 00:17:53,864 --> 00:17:58,468 AND THEN MRS. HANNEMAN HIT ME WHEN I POOED MYSELF IN CLASS. 563 00:18:03,109 --> 00:18:03,575 WELL, LYNCH. 564 00:18:03,644 --> 00:18:04,543 MCGUIRK. 565 00:18:04,611 --> 00:18:05,722 I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY. 566 00:18:05,747 --> 00:18:08,948 WE LOST TO KENT 31 TO ZERO WHICH, UH, 567 00:18:09,016 --> 00:18:10,762 I GUESS MAKES IT 14 YEARS IN A ROW, THANKS TO YOU. 568 00:18:10,786 --> 00:18:11,985 DID, UH...? 569 00:18:12,054 --> 00:18:13,499 I GOTTA BE HONEST WITH YOU, LYNCH—... 570 00:18:13,523 --> 00:18:17,292 I'M NOT THRILLED ABOUT THE WAY YOU HANDLED IT AND, UH... 571 00:18:17,361 --> 00:18:18,672 I COULD TAKE IT UP WITH THE SCHOOL COMMITTEE 572 00:18:18,696 --> 00:18:21,030 OR I COULD TAKE IT UP WITH THE PRINCIPAL. 573 00:18:21,099 --> 00:18:23,312 I COULD DO A LOT OF THINGS, BUT WHAT I'M GOING TO DO 574 00:18:23,336 --> 00:18:25,903 IS PULL ON YOUR BOW TIE AND UNTIE IT 575 00:18:25,973 --> 00:18:28,017 RIGHT IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY TO EMBARRASS YOU. 576 00:18:28,041 --> 00:18:30,521 MAYBE I'LL DO THIS WHERE I TOUCH YOUR T 577 00:18:30,545 --> 00:18:32,913 AND THEN HIT YOUR FACE. 578 00:18:32,982 --> 00:18:34,548 OR I'LL DO THIS. 579 00:18:34,617 --> 00:18:37,129 I'LL JUST HIT YOU BACK AND FORTH WITH MY HAND ACROSS YOUR FACE, 580 00:18:37,153 --> 00:18:37,919 AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT. 581 00:18:37,988 --> 00:18:38,419 ALRIGHT? 582 00:18:38,489 --> 00:18:39,889 HMM—MM. 583 00:18:39,958 --> 00:18:42,135 OR MAYBE I'LL BEND DOWN AND UNTIE YOUR SHOES 584 00:18:42,159 --> 00:18:43,772 TIE 'EM TOGETHER LIKE I'M DOING RIGHT NOW. 585 00:18:43,796 --> 00:18:45,128 UM—HMM. 586 00:18:45,197 --> 00:18:45,929 Paula: BOY, THAT WAS... 587 00:18:45,998 --> 00:18:46,831 THAT WAS A NEAR MISS. 588 00:18:46,900 --> 00:18:48,933 REALLY? WHAT... WHAT HAPPENED? 589 00:18:49,002 --> 00:18:53,239 WELL, THEY'RE GONNA GET A TUTOR FOR YOU. 590 00:18:53,308 --> 00:18:54,385 AND THEY SAID THAT I GET TO KEEP BEING THE MOM. 591 00:18:54,409 --> 00:18:56,377 MOM. 592 00:18:56,445 --> 00:18:57,990 IS THAT A SUCCESSFUL DAY FOR THE SMALLS? 593 00:18:58,014 --> 00:19:00,148 MOM, YOU SCREWED ME. 594 00:19:00,217 --> 00:19:01,984 YOU SCREWED ME. 595 00:19:02,052 --> 00:19:03,820 A TUTOR? 596 00:19:03,889 --> 00:19:04,521 McGuirk: YOU KNOW WHAT, LYNCH? 597 00:19:04,589 --> 00:19:05,800 I'M GONNA STOP. 598 00:19:05,824 --> 00:19:07,603 I'M NOT GONNA MESS WITH YOU ANYMORE, OKAY 599 00:19:07,627 --> 00:19:08,971 BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO SIT HERE AND HUMILIATE YOU. 600 00:19:08,995 --> 00:19:10,495 UH—HUH. 601 00:19:10,564 --> 00:19:12,931 ALL RIGHT, ONE MORE LITTLE BIT WITH THE HAIR, BUT THAT'S IT. 602 00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:14,578 WHAT DO YOU USE IN THAT, BY THE WAY? 603 00:19:14,602 --> 00:19:15,868 UH, I DON'T KNOW. 604 00:19:15,937 --> 00:19:18,438 JUST SOMETHING THAT COMES IN A BOTTLE. 605 00:19:18,507 --> 00:19:19,818 IT'S NICE. YEAH. 606 00:19:19,842 --> 00:19:21,275 IT LOOKS GOOD. 607 00:19:21,344 --> 00:19:22,755 RIGHT, BUT IT'S NOT A VERY GREASY GREASE. 608 00:19:22,779 --> 00:19:23,913 IT'S JUST KIND OF... 609 00:19:23,981 --> 00:19:25,261 I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING ELSE. 610 00:19:25,315 --> 00:19:28,051 ORIGINALLY I THOUGHT YOUR MUSTACHE LOOKED SILLY, 611 00:19:28,119 --> 00:19:29,731 BUT IT'S NOT BAD, LIKE A THIN ONE. 612 00:19:29,755 --> 00:19:31,099 YOU DON'T SEE THAT TOO OFTEN. 613 00:19:31,123 --> 00:19:32,367 I USED TO MAKE FUN OF IT TO EVERYBODY ELSE... 614 00:19:32,391 --> 00:19:34,325 Lynch: YES, I LIKE MY MUSTACHE. 615 00:19:34,394 --> 00:19:37,096 I'M JUST SAYING I LIKE, I LIKE IT TOO NOW. 616 00:19:37,165 --> 00:19:38,375 I'M SAYING I'M COMING AROUND ON IT. 617 00:19:38,399 --> 00:19:39,966 WELL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 618 00:19:40,035 --> 00:19:41,479 AND, YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T MEAN TO COME DOWN ON YOU 619 00:19:41,503 --> 00:19:42,781 ABOUT THAT BRENDON SMALL THING BEFORE. 620 00:19:42,805 --> 00:19:45,006 I MEAN, THAT WAS KINDA SILLY. 621 00:19:45,075 --> 00:19:46,474 WE HAVE TO WORK TOGETHER. 622 00:19:46,543 --> 00:19:48,143 I MEAN, THESE CHILDREN ARE HERE FOR... 623 00:19:48,212 --> 00:19:49,979 FOR OVERALL EDUCATION, 624 00:19:50,048 --> 00:19:52,883 AND YOU'RE PART OF THAT. WHATEVER. 625 00:19:52,951 --> 00:19:54,463 Paula: YEAH, OKAY, BRENDON LOOK, 626 00:19:54,487 --> 00:19:56,198 I GUESS YOU PROVED WHAT YOU WANTED TO PROVE. 627 00:19:56,222 --> 00:19:58,168 NOBODY CAN MAKE YOU DO ANYTHING. 628 00:19:58,192 --> 00:19:59,236 YOU HAVEN'T DONE ANY WORK ALL YEAR. 629 00:19:59,260 --> 00:20:00,794 GREAT, GREAT, GREAT. 630 00:20:00,862 --> 00:20:03,007 NOW, WOULD YOU DO ME AN ENORMOUS FAVOR AND JUST SHOW THEM 631 00:20:03,031 --> 00:20:04,865 THAT YOU CAN DO IT? 632 00:20:04,934 --> 00:20:07,346 WELL, IF YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE ME FEEL BAD ABOUT IT, THEN OKAY. 633 00:20:07,370 --> 00:20:08,982 I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU FEEL LOUSY IF I POSSIBLY CAN. 634 00:20:09,006 --> 00:20:10,439 I'LL DO IT, I WILL. 635 00:20:10,508 --> 00:20:12,741 I'LL TRY HARD BUT THIS IS IT. 636 00:20:12,811 --> 00:20:13,812 I'M NEVER DOING IT AGAIN. 637 00:20:17,184 --> 00:20:21,020 Kubrick, Scorsese, Altman, Spielberg, Lucas—... 638 00:20:21,088 --> 00:20:24,324 They are all fabulous directors and every single one of them 639 00:20:24,392 --> 00:20:28,429 had a tutor, just like me. 640 00:20:28,497 --> 00:20:30,866 Thank you very much, and I hope you enjoyed my speech. 641 00:20:30,935 --> 00:20:32,467 Back to you, Brendon. 642 00:20:32,536 --> 00:20:34,002 THANK YOU, BRENDON. 643 00:20:34,072 --> 00:20:34,804 GOOD WORK UP THERE, BY THE WAY. 644 00:20:34,873 --> 00:20:36,405 Thanks. 645 00:20:36,474 --> 00:20:37,774 How are you doing? 646 00:20:37,844 --> 00:20:39,822 FINE, HOW ARE YOU DOING? 647 00:20:39,846 --> 00:20:40,879 Fine. 648 00:20:40,948 --> 00:20:41,813 Mr. Lynch? 649 00:20:41,882 --> 00:20:42,547 BRENDON? 650 00:20:42,615 --> 00:20:43,849 Ha—ha! 651 00:20:43,917 --> 00:20:44,483 Brendon: WHAT IS THIS—— 652 00:20:44,552 --> 00:20:45,318 A GLASS OF WATER? 653 00:20:45,386 --> 00:20:47,353 MMM... 654 00:20:47,421 --> 00:20:53,361 ♪ Oh, say can you see ♪ 655 00:20:53,429 --> 00:20:56,465 ♪ By the dawn's early light... ♪ 656 00:21:03,977 --> 00:21:06,678 WHAT I NEED FROM YOU IS I NEED SOME REACTION CUTAWAYS 657 00:21:06,747 --> 00:21:08,425 SOME REACTION SHOTS OF YOU SCREAMING AND SAYING, 658 00:21:08,449 --> 00:21:09,782 "OH, MY GOD, IT'S A MONSTER." 659 00:21:09,851 --> 00:21:11,096 I'M GONNA TURN THE CAMERA ON. 660 00:21:11,120 --> 00:21:14,188 OKAY, NOW GIVE ME A "OH, MY GOD, IT'S A MONSTER!" 661 00:21:14,257 --> 00:21:15,501 OH, MY GOD... 662 00:21:15,525 --> 00:21:16,691 OH, MY GOD, IT'S A MONSTER. 663 00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:17,972 YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO GIVE ME MORE THAN THAT. 664 00:21:17,996 --> 00:21:19,874 OH, MY GOD, IT'S A... IT'S A MONSTER! 665 00:21:19,898 --> 00:21:21,030 THAT'S GOOD. 666 00:21:21,099 --> 00:21:22,578 OKAY NOW, LIKE, "HE'S WRECKING THE CITY!" 667 00:21:22,602 --> 00:21:24,434 HE'S WRECKING THE CITY! 668 00:21:24,503 --> 00:21:25,536 THAT'S GOOD, OKAY. 669 00:21:25,606 --> 00:21:27,438 WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? 670 00:21:27,507 --> 00:21:28,407 THAT'S GREAT! KEEP GOING! 671 00:21:28,475 --> 00:21:29,674 IT'S A MONSTER! 672 00:21:29,743 --> 00:21:31,010 LOOK, I WANNA... 673 00:21:31,078 --> 00:21:33,346 PUT ME DOWN! 674 00:21:33,415 --> 00:21:34,014 THAT'S GREAT. 675 00:21:34,082 --> 00:21:34,547 HOW 'BOUT...? 676 00:21:34,616 --> 00:21:35,616 PUT ME DOWN! 677 00:21:36,119 --> 00:21:37,451 OW, MY RIBS!! 678 00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:39,787 YOU'RE CRUSHING MY HEAD! 679 00:21:39,856 --> 00:21:40,455 THAT'S... 680 00:21:40,524 --> 00:21:41,256 Lynch: STOP IT!!! 681 00:21:41,325 --> 00:21:43,792 STOP HURTING MY LEG!! 682 00:21:43,861 --> 00:21:45,262 OKAY, JUST, YEAH, THAT'S... 683 00:21:47,299 --> 00:21:49,034 YEAH, OKAY, IF YOU COULD JUST... 684 00:21:49,102 --> 00:21:51,436 A LITTLE BIT LESS, A LITTLE LESS OVER—THE—TOP. 685 00:21:51,505 --> 00:21:54,066 YOU'RE KINDA DOING IT TOO MUCH. 686 00:22:12,432 --> 00:22:16,473 CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY THE TRANSCRIPTION COMPANY BURBANK, CA WWW.TRANSCRIPTS.NET