1 00:00:02,899 --> 00:00:04,234 (PEOPLE CHATTERING) 2 00:00:05,235 --> 00:00:08,655 BRANDON: I didn't sleep well last night, and I woke up with a scratchy throat. 3 00:00:08,780 --> 00:00:10,073 I just don't feel so good. 4 00:00:11,825 --> 00:00:14,578 Cough. (CLEARS THROAT) 5 00:00:14,953 --> 00:00:19,333 I have a bit of an upset stomach, too, and I think I'm running a fever. 6 00:00:19,458 --> 00:00:23,920 I'm just worried I might be contagious. (COUGHING) 7 00:00:24,046 --> 00:00:28,925 Inventory. Tomorrow, I'm... Yeah, I'm sure I'll be feeling better by then. 8 00:00:29,885 --> 00:00:31,803 Thanks, Mr. lnnabe. 9 00:00:33,680 --> 00:00:34,890 (EXHALES) 10 00:00:35,015 --> 00:00:37,684 I cannot believe you just did that. 11 00:00:37,809 --> 00:00:40,604 I... I really do have a cough. 12 00:00:40,729 --> 00:00:42,898 So you weren't lying. 13 00:00:43,023 --> 00:00:46,568 You'd be curled up in bed with a bowl of chicken soup 14 00:00:47,903 --> 00:00:49,988 even if you didn't have a horny girl in your bed? 15 00:00:50,113 --> 00:00:52,866 (LAUGHS) Yes. Because I really do... 16 00:00:52,991 --> 00:00:55,994 Hey, I really do have a cough. 17 00:00:56,119 --> 00:00:58,497 You also have a little rash. 18 00:00:58,997 --> 00:01:00,332 (LAUGHS) 19 00:01:00,957 --> 00:01:01,875 (MOANS) 20 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:04,711 I'm not sure we should be kissing. 21 00:01:04,836 --> 00:01:06,630 It's okay. 22 00:01:06,755 --> 00:01:10,050 Because I have almost no interest in kissing you. 23 00:01:10,175 --> 00:01:11,677 (CHUCKLING) 24 00:01:13,011 --> 00:01:15,263 (MINDY MOANING) (EXHALES) 25 00:01:15,389 --> 00:01:16,765 (LAUGHS) 26 00:01:18,934 --> 00:01:21,436 MINDY: on, baby. (EXHALES) 27 00:01:23,146 --> 00:01:25,065 (BOTH MOANING) 28 00:01:48,422 --> 00:01:50,549 (PANTING) 29 00:01:51,633 --> 00:01:53,343 (GIGGLES) 30 00:01:54,970 --> 00:01:56,596 Brandon. 31 00:01:58,306 --> 00:01:59,850 (CHUCKLES) 32 00:01:59,975 --> 00:02:01,226 Brandon. 33 00:02:02,769 --> 00:02:03,687 (LAUGHS) 34 00:02:03,812 --> 00:02:05,981 I know I'm good, but come on. 35 00:02:12,070 --> 00:02:14,906 Brandon. Brandon. Brandon. 36 00:02:15,699 --> 00:02:18,410 Brandon. Brandon. 37 00:02:52,652 --> 00:02:57,032 WOMAN ON PA: Any additional RN to Surgical. 38 00:02:57,365 --> 00:02:59,326 (MACHINE BEEPING) 39 00:03:01,369 --> 00:03:03,455 (LABORED BREATHING) 40 00:03:09,252 --> 00:03:12,047 (BRANDON GROANS) (BRANDON SHUDDERS) 41 00:03:12,881 --> 00:03:14,216 HOUSE: Why do you want me to treat him? 42 00:03:14,341 --> 00:03:16,426 Blood pressure's not responding to IV fluids. 43 00:03:16,551 --> 00:03:19,137 No, no. I didn't ask how you plan to con me into treating him, 44 00:03:19,262 --> 00:03:21,848 I asked you why you want me to treat him. 45 00:03:21,973 --> 00:03:24,351 He's sick. I care. I'm pathetic. 46 00:03:24,476 --> 00:03:27,270 There are about a billion sick people on the planet. Why this one? 47 00:03:27,395 --> 00:03:29,564 Because this one's in our emergency room. 48 00:03:29,689 --> 00:03:31,191 So it's a proximity issue. 49 00:03:31,316 --> 00:03:33,193 If somebody was sick in the third-floor stairwell, 50 00:03:33,318 --> 00:03:34,694 that's who'd we be talking about. 51 00:03:34,820 --> 00:03:37,572 I checked the stairwell. It's clear. 52 00:03:37,697 --> 00:03:40,158 Okay, then. Emergency-room guy it is. 53 00:03:40,283 --> 00:03:43,912 - Wait. Why was that so easy? - You know why. 54 00:03:45,247 --> 00:03:47,666 Blood pressure's not responding to IV fluids? 55 00:03:47,791 --> 00:03:49,334 Yeah. 56 00:03:50,168 --> 00:03:52,254 That's just weird. 57 00:03:54,256 --> 00:03:57,843 CBC was unremarkable. Abdominal CT scan didn't show anything, 58 00:03:57,968 --> 00:04:00,428 so, people, differential diagnosis. What's wrong with her? 59 00:04:00,554 --> 00:04:02,597 - Him. - Him, her. Does it matter? 60 00:04:02,722 --> 00:04:05,433 Does anyone think it's a testicular problem? 61 00:04:05,559 --> 00:04:07,686 - So, Chase? - Yersinia infection? 62 00:04:07,811 --> 00:04:09,813 No. You wouldn't get the rash or cough. 63 00:04:09,938 --> 00:04:13,316 What about arthritis? Accompanying vasculitis causes nerve damage. 64 00:04:13,441 --> 00:04:15,819 It wouldn't cause the blood pressure problems. Allergy? 65 00:04:15,944 --> 00:04:18,154 The kid's got abdominal pain. Maybe carcinoid? 66 00:04:18,280 --> 00:04:19,990 No, but then you wouldn't get the... 67 00:04:20,115 --> 00:04:22,200 Foreman, if you're going to list all the things it's not, 68 00:04:22,325 --> 00:04:24,286 it might be quicker to do it alphabetically. 69 00:04:24,411 --> 00:04:27,289 Let's see, now. Absidia. Excellent. 70 00:04:27,497 --> 00:04:29,332 Doesn't account for any of the symptoms. 71 00:04:29,457 --> 00:04:31,251 No condition accounts for all these symptoms. 72 00:04:31,376 --> 00:04:35,213 Good. Because I thought maybe he was sick, but, apparently, he's not. 73 00:04:35,380 --> 00:04:37,883 Who wants to do up the discharge papers? 74 00:04:38,842 --> 00:04:40,176 (SIGHS) 75 00:04:40,427 --> 00:04:44,306 Unless we control the blood pressure, he's gonna start circling the drain 76 00:04:44,431 --> 00:04:46,182 before we can figure out what's wrong with him. 77 00:04:46,308 --> 00:04:48,560 Treat him for sepsis, broad-spectrum antibiotics, 78 00:04:48,685 --> 00:04:50,687 and I want a Cort Stim test and an echocardiogram. 79 00:04:51,062 --> 00:04:52,606 (HEART BEATING) 80 00:04:52,731 --> 00:04:55,317 (COUGHING) 81 00:04:57,319 --> 00:04:59,946 - You all right? - (COUGHS) Yeah. 82 00:05:00,530 --> 00:05:01,990 FOREMAN: The Cort Stim test will tell us 83 00:05:02,115 --> 00:05:04,868 if your pituitary and adrenal glands are working properly. 84 00:05:04,993 --> 00:05:06,244 His glands? What does that mean? 85 00:05:06,369 --> 00:05:08,330 We have a few theories we're working on. 86 00:05:08,455 --> 00:05:10,665 - You mean you don't know. - Mindy. 87 00:05:10,790 --> 00:05:13,877 If they knew, they wouldn't be testing you, they'd be treating you. 88 00:05:14,002 --> 00:05:15,128 That's the way it works. 89 00:05:15,253 --> 00:05:18,548 First we find out what it is, then we get you better. 90 00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:30,685 - You're half an hour late. - Busy caseload. 91 00:05:30,810 --> 00:05:33,021 One case is not a load. 92 00:05:33,146 --> 00:05:34,689 So how are we doing on cotton swabs today? 93 00:05:34,814 --> 00:05:36,608 If there's an acute shortage, I could run home. 94 00:05:36,733 --> 00:05:38,860 No, you couldn't. 95 00:05:38,985 --> 00:05:40,904 Nice. 96 00:05:45,492 --> 00:05:48,495 Hello, sick people and their loved ones. 97 00:05:48,620 --> 00:05:51,623 In the interest of saving time and avoiding a lot of boring chitchat later, 98 00:05:51,748 --> 00:05:54,292 I'm Dr. Gregory House. You can call me Greg. 99 00:05:54,417 --> 00:05:57,003 I'm one of three doctors staffing this clinic this morning. 100 00:05:57,128 --> 00:05:58,463 Short. Sweet. Grab a file. 101 00:05:58,588 --> 00:06:01,341 This ray of sunshine is Dr. Lisa Cuddy. 102 00:06:01,466 --> 00:06:02,968 Dr. Cuddy runs this whole hospital, 103 00:06:03,093 --> 00:06:05,303 so, unfortunately, she's much too busy to deal with you. 104 00:06:05,428 --> 00:06:08,598 I am a board certified diagnostician, 105 00:06:08,723 --> 00:06:11,017 with a double specialty of infectious disease and nephrology. 106 00:06:11,142 --> 00:06:13,353 I'm also the only doctor currently employed at this clinic 107 00:06:13,478 --> 00:06:15,313 who is forced to be here against his will. 108 00:06:15,438 --> 00:06:16,898 That is true, isn't it? 109 00:06:17,023 --> 00:06:18,858 But not to worry, because for most of you, 110 00:06:18,984 --> 00:06:22,112 this job could be done by a monkey with a bottle of Motrin. 111 00:06:22,237 --> 00:06:24,614 Speaking of which, if you're particularly annoying, 112 00:06:24,739 --> 00:06:26,658 you may see me reach for this. 113 00:06:26,783 --> 00:06:29,869 This is Vicodin. It's mine. You can't have any. 114 00:06:29,995 --> 00:06:32,080 And, no, I do not have a pain-management problem. 115 00:06:32,205 --> 00:06:34,290 I have a pain problem. 116 00:06:34,666 --> 00:06:38,753 But who knows? Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm too stoned to tell. 117 00:06:39,004 --> 00:06:41,297 So, who wants me? 118 00:06:44,384 --> 00:06:48,430 And who would rather wait for one of the other two guys? 119 00:06:50,390 --> 00:06:54,519 Okay. Well, I'll be in Exam Room 1 if you change your mind. 120 00:06:55,478 --> 00:06:57,480 Jodi Matthews. 121 00:06:59,107 --> 00:07:02,485 Please accompany Dr. House to Exam Room 1. 122 00:07:06,823 --> 00:07:08,992 Dr. Chase. 123 00:07:09,451 --> 00:07:12,704 I'm not sure scaring your boyfriend is the best medicine for him right now. 124 00:07:12,829 --> 00:07:15,749 I know. I get stupid when I'm scared. 125 00:07:15,874 --> 00:07:17,000 Don't go rock climbing. 126 00:07:17,125 --> 00:07:21,463 Look, I was wondering. Before this happened, we were having sex. 127 00:07:22,964 --> 00:07:27,260 What? You're wondering if whatever he has, you might have gotten it? 128 00:07:27,385 --> 00:07:29,846 It's unlikely. We ran a complete STD panel, so... 129 00:07:29,971 --> 00:07:33,141 No. I'm wondering if maybe I did this to him. 130 00:07:33,266 --> 00:07:35,643 I was kind of rough. 131 00:07:41,733 --> 00:07:44,027 It was yellow. 132 00:07:44,152 --> 00:07:47,197 - It was? - It's not anymore. 133 00:07:47,322 --> 00:07:49,074 Well, that's a shame. 134 00:07:49,199 --> 00:07:53,912 I thought that might be a problem, so I brought you this. 135 00:07:57,207 --> 00:08:00,877 Your mucus was 'pale goldenrod.' 136 00:08:01,002 --> 00:08:05,548 - Last week, yes. Should I be worried? - Oh, yes. Very. 137 00:08:05,673 --> 00:08:08,051 Really? I thought it was okay now. 138 00:08:08,176 --> 00:08:10,929 And yet, here you are. What happened? 139 00:08:11,054 --> 00:08:14,474 Paramedics took a week to respond to your 911 call? 140 00:08:14,599 --> 00:08:16,476 You're not a very nice doctor, are you? 141 00:08:16,601 --> 00:08:20,146 And you are very bad at whatever it is you do. 142 00:08:20,271 --> 00:08:23,525 - You don't even know me. - I know you're gonna get fired. 143 00:08:23,650 --> 00:08:25,276 That's why you got the new glasses. 144 00:08:25,401 --> 00:08:27,070 That's why your teeth are sparkly white. 145 00:08:27,195 --> 00:08:31,699 You're getting the most of your health insurance while you still can. 146 00:08:31,825 --> 00:08:33,743 I might be quitting. 147 00:08:33,868 --> 00:08:35,370 You'd have known that last week, 148 00:08:35,495 --> 00:08:37,205 when your snot was still pale goldenrod. 149 00:08:37,330 --> 00:08:39,582 You're getting fired. 150 00:08:40,125 --> 00:08:43,586 I just don't like being told what to do. 151 00:08:46,965 --> 00:08:50,844 I can get you in for a full body scan later this week. 152 00:08:51,427 --> 00:08:53,304 Thanks. 153 00:08:54,472 --> 00:08:55,723 FOREMAN: It's got to be viral. 154 00:08:55,849 --> 00:08:57,475 We should start running gels and titers. 155 00:08:57,600 --> 00:08:59,894 Maybe we should look into the girlfriend's theory. 156 00:09:00,019 --> 00:09:03,022 She thinks she rode him to death. (FOREMAN CHUCKLES) 157 00:09:03,148 --> 00:09:04,440 What did you tell her? 158 00:09:04,566 --> 00:09:08,027 I told her 22-year-old men don't die of sex. 159 00:09:08,153 --> 00:09:09,863 - What did you ask her? - What do you mean? 160 00:09:09,988 --> 00:09:13,074 I mean, I hope you got some specifics on exactly what was going on. 161 00:09:13,199 --> 00:09:17,287 If the girl thinks it could kill you, it's worth knowing about. 162 00:09:20,915 --> 00:09:23,501 Have you ever taken a life? 163 00:09:32,051 --> 00:09:33,678 We should stop the antibiotics. 164 00:09:34,137 --> 00:09:36,014 It's too soon to say they're not having an effect. 165 00:09:36,139 --> 00:09:38,725 They're having an effect. 166 00:09:38,850 --> 00:09:42,937 His BP's falling fast. There's fluid filling his lungs. 167 00:09:43,062 --> 00:09:45,064 His creatinine is rising. 168 00:09:51,654 --> 00:09:54,616 His kidneys are shutting down. 169 00:09:54,908 --> 00:09:57,535 Our treatment isn't making him better. 170 00:09:58,036 --> 00:09:59,078 It's killing him. 171 00:10:02,582 --> 00:10:06,044 So, we had six symptoms that didn't add up to anything, 172 00:10:06,169 --> 00:10:07,837 now we got seven. Who's excited? 173 00:10:07,962 --> 00:10:09,339 I don't think it complicates things. 174 00:10:09,464 --> 00:10:11,507 The kidney failure was caused by the antibiotics. 175 00:10:11,633 --> 00:10:14,302 - Maybe. - FOREMAN: Typically, low blood pressure 176 00:10:14,427 --> 00:10:16,721 and abdominal pain means an infection. 177 00:10:16,846 --> 00:10:19,432 An abdominal infection causes sepsis, low blood pressure. 178 00:10:19,557 --> 00:10:21,768 Except we checked for abdominal infections. 179 00:10:21,893 --> 00:10:23,728 I know, but what if it's the other way around? 180 00:10:23,853 --> 00:10:26,397 What if the low blood pressure's causing the abdominal pain? 181 00:10:26,522 --> 00:10:29,150 Viral heart infection. The intestines aren't getting enough blood, 182 00:10:29,275 --> 00:10:30,944 and the result is belly pain. 183 00:10:31,069 --> 00:10:33,488 I know it's not the standard presentation. 184 00:10:33,613 --> 00:10:35,823 It's a 10-million-to-one shot. 185 00:10:35,949 --> 00:10:37,700 I thought that's what we dealt with here. 186 00:10:37,825 --> 00:10:44,040 It explains the cardiomyopathy, the pain, the low BP, the fever. 187 00:10:45,541 --> 00:10:49,462 You read the book. Impressive. 188 00:10:49,921 --> 00:10:52,924 It's a ludicrously long shot that explains every one of those symptoms 189 00:10:53,132 --> 00:10:56,970 except for the cough and the rash. Should we just erase those? 190 00:10:57,095 --> 00:10:59,472 Well, anything can cause a rash. 191 00:11:00,807 --> 00:11:04,018 HOUSE: Okay. Cardiac infection. 192 00:11:04,978 --> 00:11:07,647 Cameron, you thought allergy. 193 00:11:10,358 --> 00:11:11,859 Chase, what was it you thought? 194 00:11:11,985 --> 00:11:15,780 Carcinoid? Then there's hypothyroidism. 195 00:11:15,905 --> 00:11:19,659 Could be parasites. 196 00:11:22,412 --> 00:11:24,455 Finally, sinus infection. 197 00:11:24,580 --> 00:11:28,710 If you're gonna list all it can't be, you're gonna need more colors. 198 00:11:28,835 --> 00:11:33,548 Cameron was right. No condition explains all these symptoms. 199 00:11:33,965 --> 00:11:36,884 But orange and green covers everything. 200 00:11:37,010 --> 00:11:38,886 Orange and green? 201 00:11:39,345 --> 00:11:42,015 Two conditions contracted simultaneously? 202 00:11:42,181 --> 00:11:45,435 Occam's razor. The simplest explanation is always the best. 203 00:11:45,560 --> 00:11:49,856 - You think one is simpler than two? - Pretty sure it is, yeah. 204 00:11:50,815 --> 00:11:52,567 Baby shows up. Chase tells you 205 00:11:52,692 --> 00:11:55,403 that two people exchanged fluids to create this being. 206 00:11:55,528 --> 00:11:58,740 I tell you that one stork dropped the little tyke off in a diaper. 207 00:11:58,865 --> 00:12:01,284 - Are you gonna go with two or one? - I think your argument is specious. 208 00:12:01,409 --> 00:12:04,620 I think your tie is ugly. Why is one simpler than two? 209 00:12:04,912 --> 00:12:07,915 It's lower, lonelier. Is it simpler? 210 00:12:08,666 --> 00:12:11,085 Each one of these conditions is about a thousand-to-one shot. 211 00:12:11,502 --> 00:12:12,920 That means that any two of them happening 212 00:12:13,046 --> 00:12:14,672 at the same time is a million-to-one shot. 213 00:12:14,797 --> 00:12:18,051 Chase says the cardiac infection is a 10-million-to-one shot, 214 00:12:18,176 --> 00:12:21,304 which makes my idea 10 times better than yours. 215 00:12:21,429 --> 00:12:23,765 - Get a calculator. Run the numbers. - We'll run the tests. 216 00:12:23,890 --> 00:12:26,142 Tests take time. Treatment's quicker. 217 00:12:26,267 --> 00:12:30,563 Start the kid on Unasyn for the sinus infection and... 218 00:12:31,314 --> 00:12:33,483 - What was orange? - CAMERON: Hypothyroidism. 219 00:12:33,858 --> 00:12:37,111 - My uncle has hypothyroidism. - Not like this. 220 00:12:37,236 --> 00:12:40,198 Intravenous levothyroxine is an artificial thyroid medication 221 00:12:40,323 --> 00:12:41,532 that should take care of it. 222 00:12:41,657 --> 00:12:43,451 Also, the nurses are going to start you on Unasyn. 223 00:12:43,576 --> 00:12:44,869 It's a more targeted antibiotic. 224 00:12:44,994 --> 00:12:46,621 - For the sinus infection? - Yes. 225 00:12:46,746 --> 00:12:48,873 And the other stuff is for something else entirely? 226 00:12:48,998 --> 00:12:51,626 Bad luck, huh? Don't worry. 227 00:12:51,751 --> 00:12:54,253 He should be back to ditching work in no time. 228 00:12:54,962 --> 00:12:56,714 Brandon? 229 00:12:59,592 --> 00:13:00,968 BRANDON: Hey, Ma. 230 00:13:01,969 --> 00:13:03,805 (COUGHS) 231 00:13:04,013 --> 00:13:07,225 We're his parents. How's he doing? 232 00:13:07,433 --> 00:13:12,105 - Brandon is... - Mom, Dad... (CLEARS THROAT) 233 00:13:12,230 --> 00:13:14,023 this is Mindy. 234 00:13:14,148 --> 00:13:17,777 I was gonna bring her home for Christmas. 235 00:13:18,653 --> 00:13:21,280 We're engaged. 236 00:13:29,705 --> 00:13:32,625 WOMAN ON PA: Dr. Hall to the recovery room. 237 00:13:32,750 --> 00:13:34,544 Did you tell the family House's theory? 238 00:13:34,669 --> 00:13:38,464 Two odd conditions striking completely coincidentally at the exact same time. 239 00:13:38,589 --> 00:13:41,467 - I didn't phrase it quite that way. - They agree to treatment? 240 00:13:41,592 --> 00:13:44,887 Of course they did. We're doctors. They believe whatever we tell them. 241 00:13:45,012 --> 00:13:48,099 So, is that our job? House's puppets? 242 00:13:48,224 --> 00:13:50,643 He comes up with an insane idea, we get to pretend it's not? 243 00:13:50,768 --> 00:13:53,813 His insane ideas are usually right. We've been here long enough to... 244 00:13:53,938 --> 00:13:56,482 We've been here long enough to have Stockholm syndrome. 245 00:13:56,691 --> 00:13:58,526 What, because we don't hate him? 246 00:13:58,651 --> 00:14:01,237 He thinks outside the box. Is that so evil? 247 00:14:01,362 --> 00:14:03,865 He has no idea where the box is. 248 00:14:03,990 --> 00:14:06,409 If you guys think he's right, go home, relax. 249 00:14:06,534 --> 00:14:08,411 Just wait for the kid to get all better. 250 00:14:08,536 --> 00:14:12,707 I'm going to the lab to test for viral infections. 251 00:14:22,425 --> 00:14:27,430 - Negative for Coxsackie B virus. - Seven down, about 5,000 to go. 252 00:14:28,097 --> 00:14:30,141 You think we're gonna come up with your mystery virus 253 00:14:30,266 --> 00:14:33,311 just by running gels till we guess it right? 254 00:14:33,436 --> 00:14:35,563 No. I think we're gonna do it by standing around 255 00:14:35,688 --> 00:14:38,024 watching other people work. 256 00:14:38,232 --> 00:14:41,402 I'm waiting for the Epstein-Barr virus. 257 00:14:45,406 --> 00:14:47,825 - She's weird, isn't she? - Bad idea. 258 00:14:47,950 --> 00:14:50,620 - What? - Bad idea. You work with her. 259 00:14:50,995 --> 00:14:55,583 What did I say? ls weird some new, ghetto euphemism for sexy, 260 00:14:55,708 --> 00:14:58,544 like bad is good and phat is good? 261 00:14:58,669 --> 00:15:01,881 - Then what the hell does good mean? - Ghetto euphemism? 262 00:15:02,590 --> 00:15:06,052 - You don't think she's hot? - No. 263 00:15:07,220 --> 00:15:10,473 Then you're brilliant. And I am using brilliant as a euphemism. 264 00:15:10,598 --> 00:15:13,976 Obviously, the girl is hot. You're not talking about her aesthetics. 265 00:15:14,101 --> 00:15:17,438 You're talking about if I want to jump her. I don't. 266 00:15:17,563 --> 00:15:18,689 Brilliant. 267 00:15:22,652 --> 00:15:24,362 (MACHINE BEEPS) 268 00:15:24,487 --> 00:15:26,948 Your Epstein-Barr is ready. 269 00:15:29,158 --> 00:15:31,118 (VIDEO GAME BEEPING) 270 00:15:31,452 --> 00:15:33,538 - MAN: What are you doing? - Level four. 271 00:15:33,663 --> 00:15:36,415 - No, no. I mean... - I know what you meant. 272 00:15:36,624 --> 00:15:39,794 - We're waiting. - My throat hurts. 273 00:15:40,002 --> 00:15:42,505 - So you said. - How long are we waiting? 274 00:15:42,630 --> 00:15:46,759 Two minutes less than when you asked me two minutes ago. 275 00:15:47,718 --> 00:15:49,303 Hi. 276 00:15:49,595 --> 00:15:53,140 Hi. I'm Dr. Cuddy. Nice to meet you. 277 00:15:53,307 --> 00:15:55,393 Dr. Cuddy, thanks for the consult. 278 00:15:55,518 --> 00:15:58,813 His throat seems to have some condition. 279 00:16:00,606 --> 00:16:02,567 CUDDY: Say ah. 280 00:16:02,984 --> 00:16:05,152 (MUMBLES) 281 00:16:05,778 --> 00:16:08,656 He has a sore throat. 282 00:16:08,864 --> 00:16:11,742 Of course. Yes, why didn't I... 283 00:16:11,867 --> 00:16:14,287 I mean, because he said that it hurt. 284 00:16:14,412 --> 00:16:16,163 I should have deduced that meant it was sore. 285 00:16:16,289 --> 00:16:18,332 - I was in a board meeting. - Patients come first, right? 286 00:16:18,457 --> 00:16:21,168 Wouldn't want to prescribe a lozenge if there's any doubt about its efficacy? 287 00:16:21,294 --> 00:16:23,713 You once asked me why I think I'm always right, 288 00:16:23,838 --> 00:16:26,799 and I realized that you're right. At least, I think you're right. 289 00:16:26,924 --> 00:16:29,594 I don't really know, now do I? 290 00:16:30,052 --> 00:16:34,390 - Hey. I'm here. - Go home. Drink some hot tea. 291 00:16:39,145 --> 00:16:41,272 (SIGHS) Excellent counsel. 292 00:16:41,772 --> 00:16:44,942 CAMERON: Negative on Parvovirus B19. 293 00:16:45,067 --> 00:16:48,112 - I'm impressed. - Thank you. I was born to run gels. 294 00:16:48,237 --> 00:16:52,116 - I meant about Chase. - What about Chase? 295 00:16:52,450 --> 00:16:55,077 Well, the man has no physical interest in you. 296 00:16:55,202 --> 00:16:57,788 He has a completely professional relationship with you, 297 00:16:57,913 --> 00:17:00,750 respects you as a colleague and a doctor, 298 00:17:00,875 --> 00:17:04,670 and yet, he can't look at you without thinking sex. 299 00:17:04,795 --> 00:17:06,631 Because I asked what kind of sex could kill you? 300 00:17:06,756 --> 00:17:10,134 You now have total control over your relationship with him. 301 00:17:10,259 --> 00:17:12,511 So, a woman can't express her interest in sex 302 00:17:12,637 --> 00:17:15,681 without it being some professional power play? 303 00:17:16,140 --> 00:17:18,351 If you look the way you do and you say what you said, 304 00:17:18,476 --> 00:17:21,562 you have to be aware of the effect that it's going to have on men. 305 00:17:21,687 --> 00:17:23,147 Men should grow up. 306 00:17:23,272 --> 00:17:24,899 And dogs should stop licking themselves. 307 00:17:25,024 --> 00:17:27,777 - It's not gonna happen. - What's going on? 308 00:17:28,235 --> 00:17:30,529 - What are you doing here? - Looking for you guys. 309 00:17:30,655 --> 00:17:33,783 - Why didn't you page us? - 'Cause I knew you'd be here. 310 00:17:33,908 --> 00:17:35,368 - Who told him? - No one. 311 00:17:35,493 --> 00:17:38,371 I assume you're trying to prove my crazy, two-illness theory wrong, 312 00:17:38,496 --> 00:17:41,082 so, obviously, you're gonna be in the lab. You spin the urine? 313 00:17:41,207 --> 00:17:44,293 - Not yet. - Talk to me when you have. 314 00:17:51,842 --> 00:17:54,303 - What'd you find out? - Kidney failure. 315 00:17:54,428 --> 00:17:59,183 - It's acute interstitial nephritis. - I wonder if that's significant. 316 00:17:59,308 --> 00:18:03,104 It means the antibiotics didn't cause the kidney failure. 317 00:18:03,229 --> 00:18:05,773 - How'd you know? - If you guys hadn't been so busy 318 00:18:05,898 --> 00:18:08,984 trying to prove me wrong, you might have checked in on the poor kid. 319 00:18:09,151 --> 00:18:11,028 You visited a patient? 320 00:18:11,153 --> 00:18:14,448 I was sitting by his bed all morning, so he'd know someone was there for him. 321 00:18:14,573 --> 00:18:17,660 - I looked in on him. He's much better. - Ergo, the treatment's working. 322 00:18:17,785 --> 00:18:22,665 - Ergo, me right, you wrong. - Hey, I'm glad for the kid. 323 00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:27,336 WILSON: That smugness of yours really is an attractive quality. 324 00:18:27,461 --> 00:18:31,090 Thank you. It was either that or get my hair highlighted. 325 00:18:31,215 --> 00:18:34,343 - Smugness is easier to maintain. - I get that you're not a big believer 326 00:18:34,468 --> 00:18:35,886 in the catching-flies-with-honey approach, 327 00:18:36,011 --> 00:18:39,598 but do you honestly think you'll collect a jarful by cleverly taunting them? 328 00:18:39,724 --> 00:18:42,393 Flies, no. Doctors, sure. If I'd said to Foreman: 329 00:18:42,518 --> 00:18:44,770 "Nice try. It was a great guess, but sorry, not this time," 330 00:18:44,895 --> 00:18:45,896 what would he be doing now? 331 00:18:46,021 --> 00:18:48,858 I think he'd be going home not feeling like a piece of crap. 332 00:18:48,983 --> 00:18:50,443 Exactly. 333 00:18:50,568 --> 00:18:52,570 You want him to feel like a piece of crap? 334 00:18:52,695 --> 00:18:54,238 I don't want him going home. 335 00:18:57,867 --> 00:19:01,162 Dr. Foreman. (COUGHS) 336 00:19:01,412 --> 00:19:04,415 - FOREMAN: You still have the cough. - I'm feeling a lot better though. 337 00:19:04,540 --> 00:19:07,752 His fever is gone. His rash is going away. 338 00:19:07,877 --> 00:19:09,837 FOREMAN: I see. 339 00:19:09,962 --> 00:19:12,006 Is everything okay? 340 00:19:12,131 --> 00:19:16,677 Just ordering some tests. Absolutely nothing to worry about. 341 00:19:24,852 --> 00:19:27,438 (GAME BEEPING) 342 00:19:32,234 --> 00:19:33,694 How much longer? 343 00:19:33,819 --> 00:19:37,698 9:30. I figure she was on the eighth hole when I paged her. 344 00:19:42,453 --> 00:19:45,164 You probably got another half hour. 345 00:19:49,293 --> 00:19:53,547 I ran a TSH, T3 and T4. The patient's negative for hypothyroidism. 346 00:19:54,048 --> 00:19:55,341 I'm not talking about you. 347 00:19:55,466 --> 00:19:56,842 Well, the fact that he's getting better 348 00:19:57,009 --> 00:19:59,053 would indicate the unreliability of the tests. 349 00:19:59,178 --> 00:20:02,097 If I'm right and it's a viral infection, one of two things always happen, 350 00:20:02,223 --> 00:20:06,101 the patient dies or the patient's immune system fights off the invader. 351 00:20:06,268 --> 00:20:08,020 What's with her? 352 00:20:08,270 --> 00:20:10,439 Her leg hurts after running six miles. 353 00:20:10,564 --> 00:20:12,733 - Who knows? Could be anything. - He's getting better. 354 00:20:12,858 --> 00:20:16,278 That doesn't prove you're right. That just proves he's getting better. 355 00:20:16,529 --> 00:20:19,782 It's not two illnesses. It can't be two illnesses. 356 00:20:20,908 --> 00:20:23,494 I am so glad you work here. 357 00:20:24,078 --> 00:20:26,497 If I'm right, the antibiotics you prescribed 358 00:20:26,622 --> 00:20:28,040 could box his kidneys and liver, 359 00:20:28,165 --> 00:20:30,918 impeding his ability to fight off the virus. It could kill him. 360 00:20:31,043 --> 00:20:34,797 Well, that certainly would be a concern. 361 00:20:35,422 --> 00:20:36,841 Fifty bucks? 362 00:20:37,716 --> 00:20:39,760 Don't look away. The space monkeys will be all over you. 363 00:20:39,885 --> 00:20:42,930 - You wanna bet on the patient's health? - You think that's bad luck? 364 00:20:43,055 --> 00:20:47,017 You think that God will smite him because of our insensitivity? 365 00:20:47,142 --> 00:20:49,770 Well, if God does, you make a quick 50. 366 00:20:51,146 --> 00:20:53,274 (BEEPS) (EXCLAIMS) 367 00:20:54,525 --> 00:20:56,151 Go check his white-blood count. 368 00:20:56,360 --> 00:21:00,114 If he's fighting off a virus like you think, it'll be way up. 369 00:21:04,952 --> 00:21:08,455 Cuddy said you needed a consult. What's up? I'm busy. 370 00:21:18,841 --> 00:21:20,342 (EXCLAIMS) 371 00:21:26,015 --> 00:21:29,101 - I was just being glib. - You haven't said anything. 372 00:21:29,435 --> 00:21:31,020 No. 373 00:21:31,270 --> 00:21:33,898 Before, when I was talking about Brandon's girlfriend 374 00:21:34,023 --> 00:21:35,149 thinking sex could kill you. 375 00:21:35,274 --> 00:21:38,152 I was just making a joke because I was uncomfortable. 376 00:21:38,277 --> 00:21:42,156 - I don't even remember what you said. - I'm uncomfortable about sex. 377 00:21:42,489 --> 00:21:47,244 - We don't have to talk about this. - Sex could kill you. 378 00:21:47,494 --> 00:21:49,955 Do you know what the human body goes through when you have sex? 379 00:21:50,122 --> 00:21:52,583 Pupils dilate, arteries constrict, 380 00:21:52,708 --> 00:21:56,462 core temperature rises, heart races, blood pressure skyrockets. 381 00:21:56,587 --> 00:21:59,006 Respiration becomes rapid and shallow. 382 00:21:59,131 --> 00:22:02,301 The brain fires bursts of electrical impulses from nowhere to nowhere, 383 00:22:02,426 --> 00:22:04,929 and secretions spit out of every gland, 384 00:22:05,429 --> 00:22:07,014 and the muscles tense and spasm 385 00:22:07,139 --> 00:22:09,850 like you're lifting three times your body weight. 386 00:22:10,017 --> 00:22:13,479 It's violent, it's ugly, and it's messy. 387 00:22:13,771 --> 00:22:16,565 And if God hadn't made it unbelievably fun, 388 00:22:16,732 --> 00:22:19,234 the human race would've died out eons ago. 389 00:22:22,488 --> 00:22:24,823 Men are lucky they can only have one orgasm. 390 00:22:24,949 --> 00:22:28,619 You know that women can have an hour-long orgasm? 391 00:22:29,620 --> 00:22:31,580 Hey, Foreman. What's up? 392 00:22:31,747 --> 00:22:33,582 - Hey, Foreman. - Hey. 393 00:22:34,291 --> 00:22:36,710 White-cell count isn't up, is it? 394 00:22:36,835 --> 00:22:39,380 No. We were both wrong. 395 00:22:39,755 --> 00:22:42,925 White-cell count is down, way down and dropping. 396 00:22:43,133 --> 00:22:46,679 His immune system is shot. We need to get him into a clean room. 397 00:22:52,267 --> 00:22:55,312 CHASE: Can you walk, Brandon? 398 00:22:55,437 --> 00:22:57,064 Yeah. A little. 399 00:22:57,189 --> 00:23:01,068 Okay. 'Cause we'll need to leave the chair outside. 400 00:23:01,193 --> 00:23:04,613 - Thank you. - Where's April? April? 401 00:23:05,030 --> 00:23:08,867 - Can you take that chain"? Thank you. - APRIL: Yes, Robert. 402 00:23:09,660 --> 00:23:12,830 I'll need to take your mask and your robe, too. 403 00:23:20,170 --> 00:23:24,341 You might wanna block your ears for this, it's quite loud. 404 00:23:25,843 --> 00:23:29,304 (LOUD HISSING) 405 00:23:34,768 --> 00:23:37,104 Something's made him immunocompromised. 406 00:23:37,229 --> 00:23:39,064 His white-blood-cell count is down, 407 00:23:39,189 --> 00:23:41,859 which means his body can't fight off infections. 408 00:23:41,984 --> 00:23:46,030 - If he gets sick, he'll die. - Sick? How sick? 409 00:23:46,238 --> 00:23:48,907 FOREMAN: If he gets a cold, he'll die. 410 00:23:56,665 --> 00:23:59,209 (COUGHING) 411 00:24:00,210 --> 00:24:04,298 FOREMAN: Okay. I'm gonna push the needle into your hip bone 412 00:24:04,423 --> 00:24:06,633 and take some of the marrow. 413 00:24:08,177 --> 00:24:11,263 - That's not so bad. - Uh-uh. 414 00:24:12,014 --> 00:24:14,224 That was just the anesthetic. 415 00:24:14,808 --> 00:24:18,312 The core biopsy needle, it's a bit bigger. 416 00:24:19,396 --> 00:24:24,485 Hey, man. Take a deep breath. This is gonna hurt, a lot. 417 00:24:27,071 --> 00:24:29,323 (GASPING) 418 00:24:30,991 --> 00:24:33,744 Your marrow makes the blood cells. 419 00:24:35,204 --> 00:24:38,082 We take a peek at it under a microscope, 420 00:24:38,207 --> 00:24:41,585 and maybe we find a viral infection. 421 00:24:41,710 --> 00:24:44,046 Maybe we find some fibrosis. 422 00:24:44,171 --> 00:24:48,717 Something to explain why your blood count is so low. 423 00:24:49,760 --> 00:24:51,470 There we go. 424 00:24:52,471 --> 00:24:54,389 One step closer to an answer. 425 00:24:54,681 --> 00:24:56,141 (SHAKY BREATHING) 426 00:24:56,266 --> 00:24:58,602 If you don't find one, 427 00:25:00,229 --> 00:25:02,773 I can't stay here forever. 428 00:25:03,107 --> 00:25:05,109 (PANTING) 429 00:25:10,489 --> 00:25:14,409 - HOUSE: The patient could've died. - The one with the pulled muscle? 430 00:25:14,535 --> 00:25:18,205 Those symptoms are consistent with a dozen other conditions. 431 00:25:18,330 --> 00:25:20,082 You know, I'm entitled to a consult. 432 00:25:20,207 --> 00:25:21,792 You are not getting out of clinic duty. 433 00:25:21,917 --> 00:25:25,254 Come on. You got a hundred other idiot doctors in this building 434 00:25:25,379 --> 00:25:28,674 who go all warm and fuzzy every time they pull a toy car out of a nose. 435 00:25:28,799 --> 00:25:30,676 - You don't need me here. - No, I don't, 436 00:25:30,801 --> 00:25:33,137 but working with people actually makes you a better doctor. 437 00:25:33,262 --> 00:25:34,680 When did I sign up for that course? 438 00:25:34,805 --> 00:25:37,432 When did I give you the impression that I care? 439 00:25:37,558 --> 00:25:41,395 Working in this clinic obviously instills a deep sense of compassion. 440 00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:43,063 I've got your home number, right? 441 00:25:43,188 --> 00:25:45,691 In case anything comes up at 3:00 in the morning. 442 00:25:45,816 --> 00:25:48,569 It's not gonna work. You know why? 443 00:25:48,694 --> 00:25:50,779 Because this is fun. 444 00:25:50,904 --> 00:25:53,031 You think of something to make me miserable. 445 00:25:53,157 --> 00:25:54,908 I think of something to make you miserable. 446 00:25:55,033 --> 00:25:57,828 It's a game, and I'm gonna win because I got a head start. 447 00:25:57,953 --> 00:26:00,330 You are already miserable. 448 00:26:04,334 --> 00:26:05,878 - Is this important? - No. 449 00:26:06,003 --> 00:26:07,629 Good. 450 00:26:09,673 --> 00:26:11,592 - What's with you and her? - Don't. 451 00:26:11,717 --> 00:26:13,552 You have a thing for her? The only people who can... 452 00:26:13,677 --> 00:26:15,929 No. There is not a thin line between love and hate. 453 00:26:16,054 --> 00:26:17,723 There is, in fact, a Great Wall of China, 454 00:26:17,848 --> 00:26:21,185 with anned sentries posted every 20 feet between love and hate. 455 00:26:21,310 --> 00:26:23,604 - Thirty-six Vicodin. - PHARMACIST: Who's the patient? 456 00:26:23,729 --> 00:26:25,272 - I am. - You can't... 457 00:26:25,397 --> 00:26:28,233 Dr. Wilson is the prescribing physician. 458 00:26:28,358 --> 00:26:30,652 You will lie, cheat and steal to get what you want, 459 00:26:30,777 --> 00:26:32,487 but you're incapable of kissing a little ass? 460 00:26:32,613 --> 00:26:37,326 - Come on. We all have our limitations. - House, wrong bottle. 461 00:26:37,618 --> 00:26:38,660 Do me a favor. 462 00:26:38,785 --> 00:26:41,330 Take one of these, wait five minutes for it to kick in, 463 00:26:41,455 --> 00:26:44,082 then find Cuddy and kiss her ass. 464 00:26:45,292 --> 00:26:48,337 What was the kid's first symptom? 465 00:26:48,545 --> 00:26:52,341 You did the history. Of his 800 symptoms, which one hit him first? 466 00:26:52,466 --> 00:26:53,759 The cough. 467 00:27:52,651 --> 00:27:55,737 (BRANDON COUGHING) 468 00:28:07,958 --> 00:28:10,711 (ERRATIC BREATHING) 469 00:28:20,721 --> 00:28:22,472 Gout. 470 00:28:28,603 --> 00:28:30,397 Are we talking about Brandon? 471 00:28:30,522 --> 00:28:33,025 Gout? Uric acid crystals in the joints? 472 00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:37,279 The symptoms are pain, swelling, redness, stiffness. 473 00:28:37,404 --> 00:28:39,156 Not one of which do I see on that board. 474 00:28:39,281 --> 00:28:42,367 Because he doesn't have gout. (MAKES POPPING SOUND) 475 00:28:43,660 --> 00:28:46,038 Every day, cells die. 476 00:28:49,207 --> 00:28:53,545 We survive because the remaining cells divide and replace the losses. 477 00:28:54,087 --> 00:28:57,132 The colchicine, a gout medicine, 478 00:28:57,424 --> 00:29:00,385 blocks mitosis and stops cell division, 479 00:29:00,677 --> 00:29:04,222 which will result in abdominal pain, rash, 480 00:29:04,431 --> 00:29:08,685 nausea, fever, kidney failure, low blood pressure 481 00:29:08,810 --> 00:29:10,645 and will also mess with the bone marrow. 482 00:29:10,771 --> 00:29:13,106 He doesn't have gout. Why would he have gout medication? 483 00:29:13,231 --> 00:29:14,566 Because you guys were right. 484 00:29:14,691 --> 00:29:16,985 He didn't have two conditions at the exact same time. 485 00:29:17,110 --> 00:29:20,364 First, he got a cough. And because he's an idiot, he went to a doctor. 486 00:29:20,530 --> 00:29:22,741 In order to justify charging $200, 487 00:29:22,866 --> 00:29:25,535 that doctor felt he should actually do something. Oops! 488 00:29:25,660 --> 00:29:27,037 He wrote a prescription. 489 00:29:27,162 --> 00:29:31,083 Seven thousand people die each year from pharmacy screw-ups. 490 00:29:31,208 --> 00:29:33,168 Not nearly as many as die from doctor screw-ups, 491 00:29:33,293 --> 00:29:36,171 but still, not something they use in their promotional materials. 492 00:29:36,296 --> 00:29:39,424 The pharmacist gave him gout medicine instead of cough medicine, 493 00:29:39,549 --> 00:29:41,676 and the only thing it wouldn't do, 494 00:29:41,802 --> 00:29:45,639 it would do absolutely nothing to relieve his cough. 495 00:29:45,889 --> 00:29:47,724 Occam's razor. 496 00:29:48,100 --> 00:29:51,353 The simplest explanation is almost always that somebody screwed up. 497 00:29:51,478 --> 00:29:55,565 But once he checked into this hospital, he was completely in our control. 498 00:29:55,690 --> 00:29:58,068 Our food, our pills, our everything, 499 00:29:58,193 --> 00:30:00,445 so even if you're right, no more gout medication. 500 00:30:00,570 --> 00:30:03,865 He'd either continue to deteriorate, or he would've gotten better. 501 00:30:03,990 --> 00:30:06,493 But he got better, and then he got worse. 502 00:30:06,618 --> 00:30:09,162 It doesn't fit. It doesn't make sense. 503 00:30:09,329 --> 00:30:12,290 Okay. Two people screwed up. 504 00:30:12,582 --> 00:30:14,793 Not as simple as one, but... 505 00:30:24,428 --> 00:30:25,971 He's resting. He's... 506 00:30:26,096 --> 00:30:28,515 I'm Dr. House. I'm your son's physician. 507 00:30:28,640 --> 00:30:33,270 - You're the one we haven't met yet. - You're the one he hasn't met. 508 00:30:33,395 --> 00:30:35,522 How can you treat someone without meeting them? 509 00:30:35,647 --> 00:30:38,775 It's easy if you don't give a crap about him. 510 00:30:39,776 --> 00:30:41,403 That's a good thing. 511 00:30:41,528 --> 00:30:45,449 If emotions made you act rationally, they wouldn't be called emotions, right? 512 00:30:45,574 --> 00:30:47,242 That's why we have this division of labor. 513 00:30:47,367 --> 00:30:49,703 You hold his hand, I get him better. 514 00:30:49,828 --> 00:30:52,414 If I start tucking him in at night, that's not fair to you guys. 515 00:30:52,539 --> 00:30:54,958 If you start prescribing medicine, that's not fair to me. 516 00:30:55,208 --> 00:30:59,004 What I wanna know is, who stepped on my side of the net? 517 00:30:59,129 --> 00:31:04,050 Who cared enough to get stupid enough to give him his cough medicine? 518 00:31:04,176 --> 00:31:07,762 - When we checked in, Dr. Foreman... - Tuesday, he's getting better. 519 00:31:07,888 --> 00:31:10,015 Wednesday, he's getting sick again. 520 00:31:10,140 --> 00:31:13,351 Somebody gave him his cough medicine Wednesday. 521 00:31:17,689 --> 00:31:20,859 Come on. Nobody's gonna be mad. 522 00:31:21,067 --> 00:31:24,321 I just wanna know who tried to kill the kid. 523 00:31:28,867 --> 00:31:32,454 - Dr. House, maybe we should... - His throat was sore. 524 00:31:35,373 --> 00:31:37,876 Page Dr. Occam. He's gonna wanna hear about this. 525 00:31:38,001 --> 00:31:41,087 I'm sorry. He was coughing, and I just wanted to help him. 526 00:31:41,213 --> 00:31:43,423 Aren't you a dear. Where are the pills? 527 00:31:43,548 --> 00:31:46,635 He took the last of them before he was switched into that room. 528 00:31:46,760 --> 00:31:48,887 - They're all gone? - It was just cough medicine. 529 00:31:49,012 --> 00:31:51,640 No, it wasn't. Where's the bottle? 530 00:31:59,940 --> 00:32:02,150 We need to know exactly what you put in this bottle. 531 00:32:02,275 --> 00:32:04,194 We think it was colchicine, a gout medication. 532 00:32:04,319 --> 00:32:07,322 If the prescription said cough medicine, that's what I dispensed. 533 00:32:07,447 --> 00:32:09,824 The family is prepared to waive liability, all right? 534 00:32:09,950 --> 00:32:12,202 We just need to know what it was, what dosage it was. 535 00:32:12,327 --> 00:32:14,079 It was cough medicine. 536 00:32:14,579 --> 00:32:16,206 Refill it. 537 00:32:18,667 --> 00:32:22,921 - He's gonna be okay. - You don't know that. 538 00:32:24,589 --> 00:32:27,759 Does Brandon like that quality in you? 539 00:32:28,510 --> 00:32:30,929 You're a little negative. 540 00:32:32,055 --> 00:32:33,890 Things don't always work out for the best. 541 00:32:34,015 --> 00:32:35,517 Doesn't hurt to hope they do. 542 00:32:35,642 --> 00:32:39,145 No. Not unless that makes you figure you can do whatever you want, 543 00:32:39,271 --> 00:32:42,274 like give people cough medicine. 544 00:32:42,524 --> 00:32:44,359 This is cough medication. 545 00:32:44,484 --> 00:32:47,946 This is what Brandon was supposed to get. 546 00:32:48,071 --> 00:32:50,490 They're small, round and yellow. 547 00:32:50,615 --> 00:32:53,285 Can you tell this man what the pills in your son's medicine bottle 548 00:32:53,410 --> 00:32:55,328 actually looked like? 549 00:32:56,580 --> 00:32:59,332 They were small, round and yellow, exactly like this. 550 00:32:59,457 --> 00:33:01,376 Those were the pills that Brandon was taking. 551 00:33:01,501 --> 00:33:03,295 Hey, I'm just a pharmacist, 552 00:33:03,420 --> 00:33:06,548 but I know what cough medicine looks like, Doctor. 553 00:33:10,969 --> 00:33:14,139 HOUSE: It was so perfect. It was beautiful. 554 00:33:14,431 --> 00:33:17,809 Beauty often seduces us on the road to truth. 555 00:33:19,102 --> 00:33:21,813 And triteness kicks us in the nads. 556 00:33:22,022 --> 00:33:24,899 - So true. - This doesn't bother you? 557 00:33:25,275 --> 00:33:28,194 That you were wrong? I try to work through the pain. 558 00:33:28,320 --> 00:33:31,197 I was not wrong. Everything I said was true. 559 00:33:31,531 --> 00:33:35,201 - It fit. It was elegant. - So, reality was wrong? 560 00:33:35,410 --> 00:33:36,870 (SIGHS) 561 00:33:36,995 --> 00:33:39,539 Reality's almost always wrong. 562 00:33:45,337 --> 00:33:47,881 The cough medicine did something. 563 00:33:48,089 --> 00:33:49,466 (EXHALES) 564 00:33:49,591 --> 00:33:51,968 Aggravated the condition. 565 00:33:52,177 --> 00:33:54,262 It's all over the place. Must be in his blood. 566 00:33:54,429 --> 00:33:56,348 What if it is his blood? 567 00:33:56,556 --> 00:33:58,767 - Lymphoma? - Unless you've got something better. 568 00:33:58,892 --> 00:34:00,602 We foolishly ruled out lymphoma 569 00:34:00,727 --> 00:34:02,937 because his CT scan showed no adenopathy. 570 00:34:03,063 --> 00:34:05,899 CBC showed a normal differen-smear, bone marrow showed no... 571 00:34:06,024 --> 00:34:07,275 Screw the tests. 572 00:34:07,442 --> 00:34:11,279 Do an exploratory laparotomy and find out what's in there. 573 00:34:11,696 --> 00:34:14,491 He has no blood pressure, no immune system and no kidneys. 574 00:34:14,616 --> 00:34:17,327 - Surgery will kill him. - Yeah, you're right. 575 00:34:17,535 --> 00:34:19,746 Let's stick with the wrong-pill theory. 576 00:34:24,209 --> 00:34:26,628 I'll schedule him for surgery. 577 00:34:31,216 --> 00:34:34,344 FOREMAN: Okay, Brandon, we're running this tube through your heart 578 00:34:34,511 --> 00:34:37,013 and into the pulmonary arteries in your lung. 579 00:34:37,138 --> 00:34:38,932 CAMERON: The sensors will give us information 580 00:34:39,057 --> 00:34:41,101 for the exploratory surgery later this afternoon. 581 00:34:45,480 --> 00:34:48,441 - My fingers are numb. - FOREMAN: Try not to move. 582 00:34:49,234 --> 00:34:50,944 We're in the right atrium, 583 00:34:51,152 --> 00:34:53,571 trying to catch the flow through the tricuspid valve. 584 00:34:53,697 --> 00:34:57,033 CHASE: I think the catheter's curling in the atrium. 585 00:34:57,158 --> 00:35:00,286 Got it. We're in the RV now. 586 00:35:01,329 --> 00:35:02,914 (MACHINE BEEPS) 587 00:35:03,081 --> 00:35:05,750 Ectopy. You must've irritated the heart wall. 588 00:35:05,875 --> 00:35:08,670 - It'll calm down. - He can't tolerate cardiac arrhythmia. 589 00:35:08,795 --> 00:35:11,297 - Pull back. - He needs the surgery. 590 00:35:11,548 --> 00:35:14,050 (MONITOR BEEPING) 591 00:35:21,808 --> 00:35:23,143 (MONITOR BEEPING RAPIDLY) 592 00:35:23,268 --> 00:35:25,478 Pressure's dropped. 593 00:35:25,603 --> 00:35:28,064 - You still with us, Brandon? - Get the curtains. 594 00:35:28,606 --> 00:35:30,066 VF. 595 00:35:31,192 --> 00:35:33,695 (MONITOR CONTINUES BEEPING RAPIDLY) 596 00:35:36,489 --> 00:35:38,324 (CRYING) 597 00:35:40,034 --> 00:35:42,954 CHASE: Charging. Clear. 598 00:35:46,332 --> 00:35:48,752 (RHYTHMIC BEEPING) (CHASE EXHALES) 599 00:35:49,002 --> 00:35:50,837 Sinus rhythm. 600 00:35:52,213 --> 00:35:53,673 I got a pulse. 601 00:35:54,883 --> 00:35:56,468 (SIGHS) 602 00:35:56,593 --> 00:35:59,095 Yeah, but no surgery today. 603 00:36:05,643 --> 00:36:06,644 How're you doing? 604 00:36:07,103 --> 00:36:08,480 (DOOR CLOSES) Okay. 605 00:36:08,605 --> 00:36:11,566 Great. I'm doing good, too. 606 00:36:11,816 --> 00:36:15,236 I get to knock off an hour early today. You know why? 607 00:36:15,361 --> 00:36:18,364 Because I kissed my boss' ass. Do you ever do that? 608 00:36:18,490 --> 00:36:21,409 I think she just said yes 'cause she wants to reinforce that behavior. 609 00:36:21,576 --> 00:36:25,663 Wants me to kiss a lot of other people's ass, like she wants me to kiss yours. 610 00:36:25,789 --> 00:36:29,709 What would you want, a doctor who holds your hand while you die 611 00:36:29,834 --> 00:36:32,003 or a doctor who ignores you while you get better? 612 00:36:32,212 --> 00:36:34,422 I guess it would particularly suck to have a doctor 613 00:36:34,547 --> 00:36:36,758 who ignores you while you die. 614 00:36:37,801 --> 00:36:38,760 I should go. 615 00:36:38,885 --> 00:36:41,221 You think it's gonna come out on its own? 616 00:36:45,600 --> 00:36:48,645 Are we talking bigger than a breadbasket? 617 00:36:49,604 --> 00:36:54,150 Actually, it will come out on its own. Which, for small stuff, is no problem. 618 00:36:54,275 --> 00:36:56,611 It's wrapped up in a nice, soft package, and plop. 619 00:36:56,736 --> 00:36:58,988 Big stuff, you're gonna rip something, 620 00:36:59,113 --> 00:37:00,990 which, speaking medically, is when the fun stops. 621 00:37:01,115 --> 00:37:02,867 How did you... 622 00:37:02,992 --> 00:37:06,371 After half an hour you haven't sat down. That tells me its location. 623 00:37:06,496 --> 00:37:08,832 You haven't told me what it is. That tells me it's humiliating. 624 00:37:08,957 --> 00:37:10,583 You have a little birdie carved on your arm. 625 00:37:10,708 --> 00:37:12,919 That tells me you have a high tolerance for humiliation, 626 00:37:13,044 --> 00:37:15,505 so I figure it's not hemorrhoids. 627 00:37:19,425 --> 00:37:22,887 I've been a doctor 20 years. You're not gonna surprise me. 628 00:37:23,972 --> 00:37:26,391 (EXHALES) It's an MP3 player. 629 00:37:35,859 --> 00:37:37,235 Is it... 630 00:37:37,861 --> 00:37:41,364 Is it because of the size or the shape, 631 00:37:41,948 --> 00:37:44,742 or is it the pounding bass line? 632 00:37:45,368 --> 00:37:47,370 What are we gonna do? 633 00:37:49,956 --> 00:37:52,208 - I'm gonna wait. - For what? 634 00:37:54,586 --> 00:37:58,256 It's 3:00. I'm off. Would you tell Dr. Cuddy there's a patient 635 00:37:58,381 --> 00:38:00,133 in Exam Room 2 needs her attention? 636 00:38:00,258 --> 00:38:04,220 And the RIAA wants her to check for illegal downloads. 637 00:38:04,512 --> 00:38:08,182 Brandon's not ready for surgery. - Let's leave it a couple of weeks. 638 00:38:08,308 --> 00:38:11,311 He should be feeling better by then. Wait. Which way does time go? 639 00:38:11,436 --> 00:38:14,647 He crashed during prep. He's also experiencing pain in his fingers. 640 00:38:14,772 --> 00:38:16,524 Think some bug may have gotten in the clean room. 641 00:38:16,649 --> 00:38:18,693 I think we should double his dosage of G-CSF 642 00:38:18,818 --> 00:38:21,696 to temporarily boost his white-blood-cell count. 643 00:38:21,863 --> 00:38:24,616 Pain in his fingers. Right. 644 00:38:33,458 --> 00:38:35,043 Hi again. 645 00:38:35,168 --> 00:38:37,462 - You can't go in... - Where's he going? 646 00:38:37,795 --> 00:38:39,881 (AIR HISSING) 647 00:38:40,006 --> 00:38:42,008 Hey. How you all doing? 648 00:38:42,258 --> 00:38:45,386 Interesting fact. Every seven years, it's a whole new you. 649 00:38:45,637 --> 00:38:48,723 - Inspiring metaphor, huh? - Dr. House, this is a clean room. 650 00:38:48,848 --> 00:38:50,475 Yeah. I read the sign. 651 00:38:51,225 --> 00:38:54,938 But cells of different organs reproduce at different rates. 652 00:38:55,063 --> 00:38:55,980 (BRANDON GROANS) 653 00:38:56,105 --> 00:38:58,816 So, you get a new kidney every three years. 654 00:38:59,067 --> 00:39:00,860 Get a new stomach lining every week. 655 00:39:00,985 --> 00:39:05,073 This is why colchicine poisoning causes all these symptoms, but not all at once. 656 00:39:05,198 --> 00:39:07,992 But we went to the pharmacy. We saw the pills. 657 00:39:08,117 --> 00:39:11,120 Colchicine does its damage in a very specific order. 658 00:39:11,245 --> 00:39:14,332 First of all, there's the pain in the abdomen, the rash, the fever. 659 00:39:14,540 --> 00:39:17,627 Isn't that what you got first? Then the kidneys go, 660 00:39:17,752 --> 00:39:20,630 which is exactly what happened to... 661 00:39:20,755 --> 00:39:22,840 - Brandon. - Right. 662 00:39:23,174 --> 00:39:26,886 Then it screws up your bone marrow and then neuropathy. 663 00:39:27,011 --> 00:39:30,014 (BRANDON GROANS) A painful tingling in the fingers and toes. 664 00:39:30,139 --> 00:39:32,684 And what do you suppose happens after that? 665 00:39:32,809 --> 00:39:34,352 (GRUNTS) 666 00:39:37,855 --> 00:39:44,070 Hair loss. The bad news is your special boy is doing drugs. 667 00:39:44,195 --> 00:39:45,905 - No, he's not. - Ecstasy? 668 00:39:46,030 --> 00:39:47,198 No. 669 00:39:48,199 --> 00:39:49,617 Twice with Dan and Mike. 670 00:39:50,201 --> 00:39:53,663 HOUSE: You know what they cut that stuff with? Apparently, colchicine. 671 00:39:53,788 --> 00:39:56,874 Unless you ingested the colchicine through your contact lens solution 672 00:39:57,000 --> 00:39:59,919 or skin cream or some other drug you're lying about. 673 00:40:00,044 --> 00:40:02,672 I don't know how it happened. I don't care how it happened. It happened. 674 00:40:02,797 --> 00:40:04,382 Start... 675 00:40:05,633 --> 00:40:07,552 - Brandon. - Lovely name. 676 00:40:07,677 --> 00:40:09,846 Start Brandon on Fab fragments, 677 00:40:09,971 --> 00:40:12,390 and get him some Tylenol for the hair I pulled out. 678 00:40:12,598 --> 00:40:14,642 And get some air in here. 679 00:40:16,644 --> 00:40:18,938 Make a note. I should never doubt myself. 680 00:40:19,063 --> 00:40:20,648 I think you'll remember. 681 00:40:20,773 --> 00:40:23,234 It wouldn't hurt you to be wrong every now and then. 682 00:40:23,359 --> 00:40:25,236 What, you don't care about these people? 683 00:40:25,695 --> 00:40:28,239 (MONITOR BEEPING) 684 00:40:29,657 --> 00:40:33,661 The colchicine interferes with the ability of the heart muscle to contract, 685 00:40:33,786 --> 00:40:37,165 pumping blood, lowering your blood pressure. 686 00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:43,296 The antibodies we're giving you should neutralize the colchicine, 687 00:40:45,131 --> 00:40:48,551 allowing your heart to beat at its normal rate. 688 00:40:49,594 --> 00:40:51,637 When will you know? 689 00:40:52,472 --> 00:40:54,265 We know now. 690 00:40:55,725 --> 00:40:58,644 Oh, thank God. (LAUGHS) 691 00:41:07,320 --> 00:41:08,738 (BOTH LAUGHING) 692 00:41:20,917 --> 00:41:22,835 Big weekend? 693 00:41:22,960 --> 00:41:26,631 - It's not for me. I'm fully stocked. - Cuddy got you doing inventory? 694 00:41:26,923 --> 00:41:30,301 - Trying to solve that kid's case. - The gout medicine OD? 695 00:41:30,426 --> 00:41:31,636 Yeah. 696 00:41:31,761 --> 00:41:33,346 The fact that I know it's a gout medicine OD 697 00:41:33,471 --> 00:41:35,264 would seem to indicate the case is already solved. 698 00:41:35,389 --> 00:41:37,141 Well, you'd be wrong. 699 00:41:37,266 --> 00:41:39,352 What about the fact that the kid is now, 700 00:41:39,477 --> 00:41:41,896 I believe the technical term is not sick? 701 00:41:42,021 --> 00:41:44,857 You know how many forms of colchicine there are on the market? 702 00:41:45,191 --> 00:41:50,196 Neither do I, but it's a lot. Pills, powders, liquids, IV fluids. 703 00:41:50,321 --> 00:41:52,657 Somewhere at a party, in his coffee, 704 00:41:52,782 --> 00:41:54,408 up his nose, in his ear, this kid had some. 705 00:41:54,534 --> 00:41:56,869 So, you're not happy with your Ecstasy theory? 706 00:41:56,994 --> 00:41:58,913 - He said he used it twice. - People lie. 707 00:41:59,038 --> 00:42:01,165 - If you're gonna lie, it's... - I'm not interested. 708 00:42:01,290 --> 00:42:05,086 - Not curious? - No. Because I'm well adjusted. 709 00:42:06,295 --> 00:42:07,547 Right. 710 00:42:10,174 --> 00:42:13,219 - CAMERON: Temperature's normal. - I want cousin Sharon there. 711 00:42:13,344 --> 00:42:16,222 If we invite Sharon, we have to invite all the cousins. 712 00:42:16,347 --> 00:42:19,142 So what? My side of the family doesn't need anything. 713 00:42:19,350 --> 00:42:22,687 (ALL CHUCKLE) (COUGHING) 714 00:42:23,855 --> 00:42:26,065 I don't suppose I could have some of those cough pills? 715 00:42:26,190 --> 00:42:28,359 - They're okay, right? - Yes. You're doing great. 716 00:42:28,484 --> 00:42:30,111 You should invite Dr. House. 717 00:42:30,236 --> 00:42:32,488 - BRANDON: Will he come? - No, but he'll send a gift. 718 00:42:32,613 --> 00:42:35,908 (LAUGHS) I'll make sure it's a good one. 719 00:42:36,075 --> 00:42:38,661 There's a letter on the back of these pills. 720 00:42:40,705 --> 00:42:42,957 Your old pills didn't have a letter on them? 721 00:42:43,082 --> 00:42:45,960 No. Round and yellow, but no letter. 722 00:42:52,717 --> 00:42:55,344 Well, these will help your cough. 723 00:42:59,807 --> 00:43:02,310 - Hey, you wanna go get some... - No.