1 00:00:02,252 --> 00:00:04,129 This place was a great choice. 2 00:00:04,296 --> 00:00:05,756 The food is amazing. 3 00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:07,508 And such generous portions. 4 00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:10,260 If you liked the meal just wait till you try these after-dinner mints. 5 00:00:10,385 --> 00:00:13,222 You know, Doug, most guys are put off by my eye. 6 00:00:13,388 --> 00:00:15,891 It's nice to finally meet someone who's open-minded. 7 00:00:18,477 --> 00:00:19,770 Ew! 8 00:00:50,342 --> 00:00:52,094 What was wrong with your date last night? 9 00:00:52,344 --> 00:00:55,806 I don't know. Something I couldn't quite put my finger on. 10 00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:58,183 Possibly his vile lizard tongue. 11 00:00:58,767 --> 00:01:00,602 - You're too picky. - Yeah. 12 00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:03,981 If you rule out every guy with a lizard tongue or a low I.Q. 13 00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:06,942 or an explosive, violent temper of course you're gonna be lonely. 14 00:01:07,025 --> 00:01:09,403 There's nothing wrong with having high standards. 15 00:01:09,486 --> 00:01:11,905 - Now, can we please... - The female Leela's problem 16 00:01:11,989 --> 00:01:13,282 is purely medical. 17 00:01:13,365 --> 00:01:15,617 Soon she will drop her eggs and they will hatch 18 00:01:15,701 --> 00:01:17,452 and all will be well. 19 00:01:17,536 --> 00:01:19,705 You just have to give guys a chance. 20 00:01:19,788 --> 00:01:21,748 Sometimes you meet a guy and think he's a pig 21 00:01:21,832 --> 00:01:25,127 but then later on, you realize he actually has a really good body. 22 00:01:25,210 --> 00:01:27,921 Thank you all for the inspiring advice. 23 00:01:28,005 --> 00:01:30,382 But I'm perfectly happy with my life the way it is. 24 00:01:30,465 --> 00:01:32,426 That sounds like a cry for help. 25 00:01:32,593 --> 00:01:34,178 Let's all take her out tonight. 26 00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:36,221 There's lots of great places to meet people. 27 00:01:36,346 --> 00:01:39,141 - The Federal Sex Bureau. - A saucy puppet show. 28 00:01:39,224 --> 00:01:41,435 The rotting carcass of a whale. 29 00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:43,270 Mmm... I'll pick. 30 00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:53,572 Oh, wow, it's totally retro. 31 00:01:53,739 --> 00:01:55,657 Why's everyone wearing those rings? 32 00:01:55,741 --> 00:01:58,285 Guh. Because nobody wears them anymore. 33 00:01:58,368 --> 00:01:59,745 Rings are stupid. 34 00:01:59,870 --> 00:02:01,205 I think they look cool. 35 00:02:01,288 --> 00:02:03,207 Shh! don't let anyone hear you say that. 36 00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:05,709 Hey, did that lad just say rings are cool? 37 00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:08,337 - Nope. He said they're stupid. - Cool! 38 00:02:10,506 --> 00:02:12,758 So what do you think of that guy by the bar? 39 00:02:12,841 --> 00:02:14,384 I don't know. Maybe. 40 00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:15,844 Forget it. He's gay. 41 00:02:15,928 --> 00:02:17,679 What? How can you tell? 42 00:02:17,846 --> 00:02:19,306 I just know these things. 43 00:02:19,431 --> 00:02:21,391 I've got what they call "gaydar." 44 00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:23,143 There's no such thing. 45 00:02:23,227 --> 00:02:24,353 No? 46 00:02:28,398 --> 00:02:31,318 Okay... I got a lock on him. 47 00:02:31,527 --> 00:02:33,153 Yup. He's gay. 48 00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:35,322 - Are you sure? - Definitely. 49 00:02:35,405 --> 00:02:38,492 Unless I'm getting interference from a gay weather balloon. 50 00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:40,702 You're from the 20th century? 51 00:02:40,786 --> 00:02:43,705 That's incredible. I'm from the 21st century. 52 00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:46,375 No way. We've got so much in common. 53 00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:47,751 We sure do. 54 00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:50,379 Remember when those cyborgs enslaved humanity? 55 00:02:50,462 --> 00:02:52,130 Uh... Yeah. 56 00:02:52,214 --> 00:02:53,257 That rings a bell. 57 00:02:53,882 --> 00:02:55,634 This is Bolt Rollins. 58 00:02:55,717 --> 00:02:59,763 Bolt is a hyper-sled racer with ten wins on the pro circuit. 59 00:02:59,847 --> 00:03:01,515 Hello, beautiful. 60 00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:04,935 I think she means ten wins on the gay circuit. 61 00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:06,395 I wish. 62 00:03:06,478 --> 00:03:08,105 Those cats can really fly. 63 00:03:24,997 --> 00:03:29,168 This is M-5438, an entity of pure energy. 64 00:03:29,418 --> 00:03:32,754 That's great. Really, but he's just not what I'm looking for. 65 00:03:32,838 --> 00:03:34,339 I understand. 66 00:03:34,423 --> 00:03:37,301 One day you will evolve beyond your physical body 67 00:03:37,384 --> 00:03:40,679 and on that day I hope you will pick up the phone. 68 00:03:41,180 --> 00:03:43,015 You're impossible. 69 00:03:43,098 --> 00:03:44,933 It's just as well. 70 00:03:45,434 --> 00:03:49,438 I think he comes from a dimension that's big on musical theater. 71 00:03:56,862 --> 00:03:58,739 Psst. I need the apartment tonight. 72 00:03:58,822 --> 00:04:00,532 Go see a saucy puppet show. 73 00:04:00,699 --> 00:04:02,159 Can do! 74 00:04:05,621 --> 00:04:09,041 My, my, my, what's a beautiful lady like you... 75 00:04:09,166 --> 00:04:10,375 Oh! Wha... Wah! 76 00:04:10,459 --> 00:04:12,461 I'm sorry, I thought you had two eyes. 77 00:04:14,213 --> 00:04:15,589 So, Leela, 78 00:04:15,672 --> 00:04:18,884 you must've had your pick of the litter last night at closing time. 79 00:04:18,967 --> 00:04:22,262 Could you guys please stop talking about my personal life? 80 00:04:22,346 --> 00:04:25,807 Yes. Let's all talk about Leela's personal life later. 81 00:04:25,891 --> 00:04:28,310 But right now, we have business to attend to. 82 00:04:28,393 --> 00:04:30,062 - A delivery? - No. 83 00:04:30,145 --> 00:04:32,439 A tax-deductible mission of charity. 84 00:04:33,941 --> 00:04:35,609 This is Vergon 6. 85 00:04:35,692 --> 00:04:38,362 - This is Vergon 6. - Buh. 86 00:04:38,695 --> 00:04:40,864 It's a sunny little doomed planet 87 00:04:40,948 --> 00:04:44,409 inhabited by a number of frisky little doomed animals. 88 00:04:44,493 --> 00:04:46,036 - Animals? - That's right. 89 00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:49,039 Animals in desperate need of rescue. 90 00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:51,124 You see, Vergon 6 was once filled 91 00:04:51,208 --> 00:04:54,419 with the super-dense substance known as dark matter 92 00:04:54,503 --> 00:04:58,757 each pound of which weighs over 10,000 pounds. 93 00:04:58,924 --> 00:05:01,218 Wait. What about the animals? 94 00:05:01,343 --> 00:05:05,013 Well, dark matter is extremely valuable as starship fuel. 95 00:05:05,222 --> 00:05:09,101 That's why it was all mined out leaving the planet completely hollow. 96 00:05:09,268 --> 00:05:11,270 Yes, but what about the animals? 97 00:05:11,895 --> 00:05:13,564 - The what? - The animals. 98 00:05:13,730 --> 00:05:15,440 I didn't say anything about animals. 99 00:05:15,774 --> 00:05:18,944 Now, it seems the planet will collapse within three days. 100 00:05:19,027 --> 00:05:21,613 Incidentally this will kill all the animals. 101 00:05:21,989 --> 00:05:24,199 So we have to bring back two of each kind... 102 00:05:24,283 --> 00:05:26,577 - Just like Noah's ark. - Why two? 103 00:05:27,786 --> 00:05:30,122 Oh. 104 00:05:34,042 --> 00:05:37,129 I bet you, Leela's holding out for a nice guy with one eye. 105 00:05:37,379 --> 00:05:38,630 That'll take forever. 106 00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:39,756 What she ought to do 107 00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:42,676 is find a nice guy with two eyes and poke one out. 108 00:05:42,885 --> 00:05:44,845 Yeah. That'd be a time-saver. 109 00:05:44,928 --> 00:05:46,221 Do you mind? 110 00:05:46,388 --> 00:05:48,849 Here you go. You can use this as an eye poker. 111 00:05:48,932 --> 00:05:52,019 Thank you, but I don't care how many eyes a man has. 112 00:05:52,186 --> 00:05:53,604 As long as it's less than five. 113 00:05:53,896 --> 00:05:57,149 All I'm looking for is a guy who's adventurous, self-confident, 114 00:05:57,649 --> 00:05:59,026 maybe a snappy dresser. 115 00:05:59,610 --> 00:06:02,863 These new uniforms are pretty snappy, eh, first officer? 116 00:06:03,197 --> 00:06:04,907 I suppose, Captain. 117 00:06:04,990 --> 00:06:07,743 I'm not as big a fan of velour as you are. 118 00:06:07,993 --> 00:06:10,954 Now, what do you want to do about that unidentified ship? 119 00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:12,039 Destroy them. 120 00:06:13,123 --> 00:06:14,958 Mmm... 121 00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:17,336 That's got a nice feel to it. 122 00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:23,967 Captain's journal. Stardate 3000.3. 123 00:06:24,218 --> 00:06:26,094 Who are you talking to, sir? 124 00:06:26,345 --> 00:06:28,180 You. Aren't you getting this? 125 00:06:30,599 --> 00:06:33,685 We've detected a vessel attempting to break the security cordon 126 00:06:33,769 --> 00:06:35,646 around Vergon 6. 127 00:06:35,854 --> 00:06:38,774 I'm anticipating an all-out tactical dogfight 128 00:06:38,857 --> 00:06:40,484 followed by a light dinner. 129 00:06:41,151 --> 00:06:44,404 Ravioli, ham, sundae bar. 130 00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:45,572 Hey, look. 131 00:06:45,781 --> 00:06:47,449 That's Zapp Brannigan's ship. 132 00:06:47,533 --> 00:06:49,826 Wow. The Zapp Brannigan? 133 00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:50,994 Uh-huh. 134 00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:52,704 Who's the Zapp Brannigan? 135 00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:55,165 Shall I fire on them now, sir? 136 00:06:55,332 --> 00:06:56,416 Not yet, Kif. 137 00:06:56,500 --> 00:07:00,295 In the game of chess you can never let your adversary see your pieces. 138 00:07:00,462 --> 00:07:02,714 What? 139 00:07:02,798 --> 00:07:05,259 They say Zapp Brannigan single-handedly saved 140 00:07:05,342 --> 00:07:08,679 the Octillian system from a horde of rampaging killbots. 141 00:07:08,846 --> 00:07:12,391 - Wow. - A grim day for robotkind. 142 00:07:12,808 --> 00:07:15,143 But we can always build more killbots. 143 00:07:15,310 --> 00:07:19,147 He's the most decorated captain in the whole Democratic Order of Planets. 144 00:07:19,356 --> 00:07:21,567 Leela's got a boyfriend. 145 00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:23,819 No, I don't, but I think we ought to meet with him 146 00:07:23,902 --> 00:07:26,029 and see if he'll help us rescue those animals. 147 00:07:26,154 --> 00:07:29,658 Well, just in case you guys hit it off you'll want to take this with you. 148 00:07:32,744 --> 00:07:34,538 Sir, they're headed straight for us. 149 00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:36,039 A well-calculated move. 150 00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:38,000 Straight out of Sun Tzu's classic text, 151 00:07:38,083 --> 00:07:39,251 The Art of War. 152 00:07:39,334 --> 00:07:40,711 Or my own masterwork, 153 00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:43,172 Zapp Brannigan's Big Book of War. 154 00:07:43,338 --> 00:07:45,716 But the one thing their captain doesn't realize 155 00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:46,925 and never will is... 156 00:07:47,092 --> 00:07:49,469 Sir, they've docked with us and have come aboard. 157 00:07:49,553 --> 00:07:51,597 Then I've risked all and lost. 158 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:53,390 Kif, old man, I'll be in the escape pod. 159 00:07:53,557 --> 00:07:55,767 If that wicker chair I like survives the slaughter 160 00:07:55,851 --> 00:07:57,686 have it sent to my P.O. box. 161 00:08:02,608 --> 00:08:03,859 Hello, I'm Leela, 162 00:08:03,942 --> 00:08:06,236 Captain of the Planet Express delivery ship. 163 00:08:06,403 --> 00:08:08,572 We've come aboard to plead for your assistance. 164 00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:11,366 - Well, if there's anything... - I'm in command here. 165 00:08:11,450 --> 00:08:12,659 Zapp Brannigan. 166 00:08:12,743 --> 00:08:15,579 Has my fame preceded me, or was I too quick for it? 167 00:08:15,704 --> 00:08:17,539 Oh, not at all. 168 00:08:17,706 --> 00:08:19,041 I'm just so, uh... 169 00:08:19,124 --> 00:08:20,792 Really thrilled to meet you. 170 00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:23,420 You're an impressive piece of captain. 171 00:08:23,545 --> 00:08:24,963 Beautiful and deadly. 172 00:08:25,047 --> 00:08:26,590 A potent combination. 173 00:08:26,715 --> 00:08:29,051 - You don't mean that. - But I do. 174 00:08:29,218 --> 00:08:31,303 I doubt I've seen more than three or four captains 175 00:08:31,386 --> 00:08:34,556 sexier than you, and only one who was deadlier. 176 00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:36,600 I heard one time, you single-handedly defeated 177 00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:40,354 a horde of rampaging somethings in the something something system. 178 00:08:40,437 --> 00:08:42,314 The killbots? A trifle. 179 00:08:42,439 --> 00:08:44,483 It was simply a matter of outsmarting them. 180 00:08:44,733 --> 00:08:46,777 Wow, I never would have thought of that. 181 00:08:46,944 --> 00:08:49,404 You see, killbots have a preset kill limit. 182 00:08:49,488 --> 00:08:50,489 Knowing their weakness 183 00:08:50,572 --> 00:08:53,408 I sent wave after wave of my own men at them 184 00:08:53,492 --> 00:08:55,577 until they reached their limit and shut down. 185 00:08:55,786 --> 00:08:58,205 Kif, show them the medal I won. 186 00:09:01,583 --> 00:09:02,668 More, please. 187 00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:04,336 A little more. 188 00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:05,838 More. 189 00:09:06,380 --> 00:09:07,381 Keep going. 190 00:09:07,464 --> 00:09:10,175 Captain Brannigan, we really need to talk to you about our mission. 191 00:09:10,467 --> 00:09:11,802 Whatever it is, I'm willing to put 192 00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:14,471 wave after wave of men at your disposal. 193 00:09:14,596 --> 00:09:15,722 Right, men? 194 00:09:16,265 --> 00:09:17,391 You suck! 195 00:09:17,683 --> 00:09:20,978 We're hoping to save the animals of Vergon 6 from extinction. 196 00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:22,938 - And if you could just... - Vergon 6? 197 00:09:23,021 --> 00:09:24,314 This light dinner is over. 198 00:09:24,398 --> 00:09:25,691 Wait. What's wrong? 199 00:09:25,774 --> 00:09:27,734 The Democratic Order of Planets prohibits 200 00:09:27,818 --> 00:09:30,153 interfering with undeveloped worlds. 201 00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:33,365 It's a little rule known as "Brannigan's Law." 202 00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:35,325 But people already interfered. 203 00:09:35,492 --> 00:09:38,036 That planet was mined completely hollow. 204 00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:41,081 Yes, by a Democratic Order of Planets mining crew. 205 00:09:41,206 --> 00:09:43,458 Oh. This doesn't make any sense. 206 00:09:43,709 --> 00:09:46,128 I don't pretend to understand Brannigan's Law. 207 00:09:46,211 --> 00:09:47,588 I merely enforce it. 208 00:09:47,671 --> 00:09:50,299 Fine. We'll save the animals without your help. 209 00:09:50,507 --> 00:09:51,925 I'm afraid I can't allow that. 210 00:09:52,217 --> 00:09:53,302 Guards! 211 00:09:54,469 --> 00:09:55,596 Wha... What just happened? 212 00:09:55,679 --> 00:09:57,389 He's throwing us in prison. 213 00:09:57,514 --> 00:09:58,891 Ah, dang. 214 00:09:59,141 --> 00:10:00,475 Can I get this wrapped up? 215 00:10:02,811 --> 00:10:04,688 Ow! 216 00:10:05,814 --> 00:10:08,817 I might have liked Zapp Brannigan if he weren't a pompous dimwit 217 00:10:08,901 --> 00:10:10,235 who threw me in prison. 218 00:10:10,319 --> 00:10:12,070 You really are too picky. 219 00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:14,615 Kif, follow me up to the observation deck. 220 00:10:14,740 --> 00:10:16,867 I've got some musing to do. 221 00:10:19,244 --> 00:10:20,579 Oh, geez. 222 00:10:22,247 --> 00:10:25,000 I'm facing a formidable female adversary, Kif. 223 00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:28,462 - Suggestions? - I fail to see any problem, sir. 224 00:10:28,670 --> 00:10:31,757 You already imprisoned her under directive B10.81. 225 00:10:32,257 --> 00:10:33,884 You mean Brannigan's Law? 226 00:10:34,718 --> 00:10:36,303 Right. That law. 227 00:10:36,595 --> 00:10:37,763 Which one? 228 00:10:38,013 --> 00:10:39,890 Brannigan's Law. 229 00:10:40,224 --> 00:10:42,518 Kif, you're my best and most loyal friend 230 00:10:42,601 --> 00:10:44,520 but you've earned my contempt once again. 231 00:10:44,603 --> 00:10:45,812 As my protégé, you should know 232 00:10:45,896 --> 00:10:48,857 that the only way to deal with a female adversary 233 00:10:48,941 --> 00:10:50,400 is to seduce her. 234 00:10:50,484 --> 00:10:51,693 Oh. 235 00:10:51,944 --> 00:10:54,071 This time we are sure she's a woman, right? 236 00:10:54,196 --> 00:10:55,489 Yes. 237 00:10:55,572 --> 00:10:57,824 Good. Invite her to my quarters. 238 00:10:57,908 --> 00:11:00,869 Oh, and have the boy lay out my formal shorts. 239 00:11:01,036 --> 00:11:02,246 The boy, sir? 240 00:11:02,621 --> 00:11:04,998 You. You lay out my formal shorts. 241 00:11:07,042 --> 00:11:10,087 The jackass wants to see you in his quarters. 242 00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:14,132 Good. This will be my chance to reason with him captain to captain. 243 00:11:14,216 --> 00:11:16,677 And he wants you to wear this. 244 00:11:19,096 --> 00:11:21,014 Come and get it. 245 00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:25,310 Mmm. Welcome to my humble chamber 246 00:11:25,394 --> 00:11:28,188 or as I call it The Love-Nasium. 247 00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:30,816 Cham-pag-en? 248 00:11:30,941 --> 00:11:33,777 I didn't realize you were such a coin-a-sewer. 249 00:11:33,902 --> 00:11:36,238 Well, I have studied abroad... 250 00:11:36,321 --> 00:11:38,031 Or two. 251 00:11:40,909 --> 00:11:41,910 - Captain... - Uh-huh? 252 00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:43,954 If we could speak seriously for a moment. 253 00:11:44,079 --> 00:11:45,414 - Uh-huh. - I'd like you to reconsider 254 00:11:45,497 --> 00:11:47,332 letting us rescue those animals. 255 00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:48,625 Mm-hmm. 256 00:11:56,008 --> 00:11:57,926 I like your style. 257 00:11:58,051 --> 00:11:59,386 I find it very... 258 00:11:59,928 --> 00:12:01,221 erotic. 259 00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:03,140 - What? - Erotic! 260 00:12:03,557 --> 00:12:06,727 Erotic! Erotic! Erotic! 261 00:12:09,146 --> 00:12:10,772 We can definitely escape, Bender. 262 00:12:10,856 --> 00:12:13,358 All you have to do is bend the hatch off this steam pipe. 263 00:12:13,442 --> 00:12:14,902 Hey, yeah. 264 00:12:19,740 --> 00:12:21,450 No good. It's full of steam. 265 00:12:22,409 --> 00:12:25,454 You look like a woman who enjoys the finer things. 266 00:12:25,704 --> 00:12:28,790 Come over here and feel my velour bedspread. 267 00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:30,667 I'm not really in the mood. 268 00:12:30,834 --> 00:12:32,920 Leela, it's real velour. 269 00:12:33,045 --> 00:12:34,922 Just let yourself go. 270 00:12:36,298 --> 00:12:38,675 Can I please just go back to prison? 271 00:12:38,967 --> 00:12:42,763 You'd rather sit in prison than spend one evening with the Zapper? 272 00:12:42,971 --> 00:12:44,431 Much rather. 273 00:12:47,684 --> 00:12:48,894 What are you doing? 274 00:12:50,020 --> 00:12:51,897 Oh, God, I'm pathetic. 275 00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:54,274 Sorry. 276 00:12:54,358 --> 00:12:55,484 Just go. 277 00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:58,237 You want the rest of the cham-pag-en? 278 00:12:58,362 --> 00:13:01,365 No. And it's pronounced "champagne." 279 00:13:01,615 --> 00:13:03,534 Oh, God, no! 280 00:13:04,785 --> 00:13:06,036 It's not a big deal. 281 00:13:06,578 --> 00:13:07,913 I get so lonely. 282 00:13:07,996 --> 00:13:11,375 I just thought you, a fellow captain, would understand. 283 00:13:11,542 --> 00:13:12,709 Aw, forget it. 284 00:13:13,001 --> 00:13:15,337 Yeah, it's great ordering people around and stuff 285 00:13:15,420 --> 00:13:18,549 but through it all, you're completely alone. 286 00:13:18,841 --> 00:13:20,342 It comes with the job. 287 00:13:21,051 --> 00:13:23,262 I'm just so lonely! 288 00:13:25,514 --> 00:13:27,599 Oh, come on. Cheer up. 289 00:13:27,933 --> 00:13:29,351 It's not that bad. 290 00:13:30,811 --> 00:13:32,312 You want to try escaping again? 291 00:13:32,563 --> 00:13:33,730 Nah, I'm comfy. 292 00:13:34,398 --> 00:13:36,650 Man, Leela's been gone a long time. 293 00:13:36,733 --> 00:13:39,736 I hope she's at least making progress with Zapp Brannigan. 294 00:13:52,833 --> 00:13:54,126 Good morning, lover. 295 00:13:54,543 --> 00:13:56,378 Uh... Listen, Zapp... 296 00:13:56,461 --> 00:13:58,297 Now you're officially my woman. 297 00:13:58,380 --> 00:14:01,008 Kudos. I can't say I don't envy you. 298 00:14:01,175 --> 00:14:03,218 Zapp, last night was a mistake. 299 00:14:03,385 --> 00:14:04,887 A sexy mistake. 300 00:14:05,012 --> 00:14:07,139 No, just a regular mistake. 301 00:14:07,306 --> 00:14:10,809 For a split second my common sense was overwhelmed by pity. 302 00:14:12,102 --> 00:14:13,896 A split second is all it takes. 303 00:14:14,104 --> 00:14:17,566 That's why sooner or later you'll come crawling back to the Zapper. 304 00:14:18,734 --> 00:14:22,070 The only kind of crawling I'm doing to you is away... 305 00:14:22,154 --> 00:14:23,155 from. 306 00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:26,241 Leela, you're obviously confused and aroused. 307 00:14:26,450 --> 00:14:28,327 Look, I'm going down to Vergon 6 308 00:14:28,410 --> 00:14:30,954 to save those animals whether you like it or not. 309 00:14:31,038 --> 00:14:32,456 Go ahead. I won't stop you. 310 00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:34,750 Threaten all you... Wait. What? 311 00:14:34,875 --> 00:14:37,544 We both know you won't make it halfway to Vergon 6 312 00:14:37,628 --> 00:14:39,963 before the craving sets in. 313 00:14:40,214 --> 00:14:41,965 Then you'll come crawling back 314 00:14:42,049 --> 00:14:45,427 for another taste of sweet, sweet candy. 315 00:14:46,136 --> 00:14:47,221 Bam. 316 00:14:47,346 --> 00:14:48,472 Ugh. 317 00:14:50,140 --> 00:14:52,351 Kif. 318 00:14:52,851 --> 00:14:54,102 Yes... Ugh. 319 00:14:54,603 --> 00:14:55,812 Yes, Captain? 320 00:14:55,896 --> 00:14:57,439 I have made it with a woman. 321 00:14:57,523 --> 00:14:58,857 Inform the men. 322 00:15:02,069 --> 00:15:04,613 The fatso says you're free to go. 323 00:15:04,738 --> 00:15:06,198 Really? Why? 324 00:15:06,532 --> 00:15:07,574 Why indeed? 325 00:15:08,492 --> 00:15:10,494 - What does that mean? - Nothing. 326 00:15:10,702 --> 00:15:13,497 So, should we get our stuff and head down to the planet? 327 00:15:13,705 --> 00:15:15,165 We just talked, okay? 328 00:15:25,551 --> 00:15:28,262 All right, we don't have much time to collect these animals. 329 00:15:28,345 --> 00:15:30,848 The planet is supposed to collapse in approximately... 330 00:15:31,056 --> 00:15:32,099 Two hours ago. 331 00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:36,770 Looking for a snake. Looking for a snake. 332 00:16:04,882 --> 00:16:06,341 Hello there. 333 00:16:12,347 --> 00:16:15,184 Hmm, he doesn't seem to be on the checklist. 334 00:16:15,392 --> 00:16:16,977 So you're saying we can cook him? 335 00:16:17,102 --> 00:16:18,228 Yeah, barbecue. 336 00:16:18,312 --> 00:16:19,855 I'll wear my hilarious apron. 337 00:16:19,938 --> 00:16:23,025 No. I don't care how hilarious your apron is. 338 00:16:23,108 --> 00:16:24,318 We're not cooking him. 339 00:16:25,652 --> 00:16:26,904 Aw. 340 00:16:26,987 --> 00:16:28,822 I'll call him Nibbler. 341 00:16:28,906 --> 00:16:30,407 Aw. 342 00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:32,367 I'll fire up the grill. 343 00:16:32,951 --> 00:16:35,746 I hope he'll be okay in there with all those big animals. 344 00:16:54,431 --> 00:16:55,432 Hmm. 345 00:16:55,557 --> 00:16:58,810 You know, Kif, once my woman returns I won't have much time 346 00:16:58,894 --> 00:17:00,729 to hang out with the boys anymore. 347 00:17:00,812 --> 00:17:02,564 That's a shame, sir. 348 00:17:02,648 --> 00:17:05,567 So let's make the most of our time together, shall we? 349 00:17:07,194 --> 00:17:08,195 Never mind. 350 00:17:08,278 --> 00:17:09,696 Just give me a back rub. 351 00:17:10,697 --> 00:17:12,741 I found a pair of "hermaphlamingos." 352 00:17:12,908 --> 00:17:14,618 Good. That's the last species. 353 00:17:15,953 --> 00:17:16,954 Huh? 354 00:17:17,204 --> 00:17:18,455 Hey, what the... 355 00:17:18,539 --> 00:17:19,831 Where'd they all go? 356 00:17:26,839 --> 00:17:27,965 Nibbler! 357 00:17:28,090 --> 00:17:32,135 I can't believe we flew halfway across the galaxy and enjoyed a steam 358 00:17:32,219 --> 00:17:34,304 just to get lunch for that stupid animal. 359 00:17:34,388 --> 00:17:36,139 He's pending for a bending. 360 00:17:38,892 --> 00:17:39,977 Leave him alone. 361 00:17:40,060 --> 00:17:42,688 It's not his fault that he's an unstoppable killing machine. 362 00:17:43,105 --> 00:17:44,439 Is it, snuggums? 363 00:17:46,275 --> 00:17:47,776 The planet's "kerploding." 364 00:17:54,700 --> 00:17:55,993 Prepare for liftoff. 365 00:17:58,245 --> 00:17:59,496 We're out of fuel. 366 00:17:59,580 --> 00:18:02,291 Bender, I told you to fill the tank before we left. 367 00:18:02,708 --> 00:18:04,585 Yeah, I'll do it when we get back. 368 00:18:07,045 --> 00:18:09,965 Man, lucky for us Zapp Brannigan's nearby. 369 00:18:10,048 --> 00:18:11,550 No way. Forget it. 370 00:18:11,633 --> 00:18:13,594 I refuse to go crawling back to him. 371 00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:15,470 What? What are you talking about? 372 00:18:15,554 --> 00:18:17,097 Nothing. We just talked. 373 00:18:17,306 --> 00:18:18,390 So what's your problem? 374 00:18:18,473 --> 00:18:19,975 It's not like you slept with him. 375 00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:27,816 Oh, my God! 376 00:18:27,983 --> 00:18:30,068 Oh, how could you, Leela? 377 00:18:30,152 --> 00:18:31,820 I thought you had some standards. 378 00:18:31,945 --> 00:18:34,364 I mean, geez, he's a dumb gross gorilla. 379 00:18:34,448 --> 00:18:35,532 That's enough. 380 00:18:35,616 --> 00:18:37,659 Don't you think I feel bad enough already? 381 00:18:37,826 --> 00:18:38,952 No. 382 00:18:40,954 --> 00:18:43,790 All right, all right, I'll call him. 383 00:18:43,874 --> 00:18:46,251 I mean, if living is that important to you. 384 00:18:46,835 --> 00:18:49,129 And that's why you'll never make captain, Kif. 385 00:18:49,379 --> 00:18:51,381 Hmm. 386 00:18:52,132 --> 00:18:53,467 Hello, Zapp? 387 00:18:53,550 --> 00:18:55,093 Well, well, well. 388 00:18:56,011 --> 00:18:57,387 Zapp, we're out of fuel. 389 00:18:57,471 --> 00:18:59,348 And Vergon 6 is about to implode. 390 00:18:59,431 --> 00:19:00,682 We need your help. 391 00:19:00,766 --> 00:19:04,895 So crawling back to the Big Z like a bird on its belly. 392 00:19:04,978 --> 00:19:06,313 Delicious. 393 00:19:06,438 --> 00:19:07,856 Birds don't crawl. 394 00:19:07,940 --> 00:19:09,233 They've been known to. 395 00:19:09,441 --> 00:19:11,777 Look, are you going to rescue us or not? 396 00:19:11,860 --> 00:19:14,279 Can't you ask a little more sexfully? 397 00:19:17,658 --> 00:19:19,201 Please... 398 00:19:19,326 --> 00:19:20,953 Big Z. 399 00:19:21,036 --> 00:19:22,538 Certainly. 400 00:19:22,788 --> 00:19:24,665 But first you'll have to get rid of that thing. 401 00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:26,875 That's the law, Leela. 402 00:19:27,042 --> 00:19:29,837 And Brannigan's Law is like Brannigan's love, 403 00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:31,213 Hard and fast. 404 00:19:31,755 --> 00:19:34,800 Now put that greasy rat outside and we'll tow you to safety. 405 00:19:35,050 --> 00:19:37,553 I would never abandon a helpless animal. 406 00:19:37,803 --> 00:19:41,265 You know, Zapp, once I thought you were a big, pompous buffoon. 407 00:19:41,390 --> 00:19:44,810 Then I realized that inside, you were just a pitiful child. 408 00:19:44,893 --> 00:19:48,856 But now I realize that outside that child is a big, pompous buffoon. 409 00:19:48,939 --> 00:19:51,608 And which one rocked your world? 410 00:19:53,694 --> 00:19:55,821 Wow, way to tell that guy off. 411 00:19:55,904 --> 00:19:57,406 Now what's your secret escape plan? 412 00:19:57,489 --> 00:20:00,868 Uh... I guess to sit here and wait for death. 413 00:20:00,993 --> 00:20:02,411 Can do. 414 00:20:02,911 --> 00:20:05,497 What the hell was that? 415 00:20:09,710 --> 00:20:11,962 - Phew! - I don't believe it. 416 00:20:12,045 --> 00:20:13,422 It's dark matter. 417 00:20:13,505 --> 00:20:17,467 So this guy just unloaded a steaming pile of starship fuel? 418 00:20:17,551 --> 00:20:20,846 His species must have filled the entire planet with it. 419 00:20:21,013 --> 00:20:24,349 Did you do that, you cute little... 420 00:20:25,726 --> 00:20:27,853 Come on. That should be more than enough fuel 421 00:20:27,936 --> 00:20:29,062 to get us out of here. 422 00:20:29,146 --> 00:20:31,148 Bender, pick it up and put it in the engine. 423 00:20:56,798 --> 00:20:58,091 We made it! 424 00:20:59,301 --> 00:21:01,428 And some of the animals survived. 425 00:21:02,638 --> 00:21:06,141 So a couple of animals didn't die, and Leela got lucky. 426 00:21:06,225 --> 00:21:08,936 That's what I call a successful mission. 427 00:21:09,019 --> 00:21:10,562 We're heroes! 428 00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:13,106 Dear Captain's diary, 429 00:21:13,357 --> 00:21:15,275 I may not have found loveon this mission 430 00:21:15,359 --> 00:21:17,361 but I did find a cute little companion 431 00:21:17,444 --> 00:21:21,156 who excretes starship fuel, and that's just as good. 432 00:21:26,286 --> 00:21:29,331 Captain's journal. Stardate, uh... 433 00:21:29,498 --> 00:21:31,333 Oh! April 13. 434 00:21:31,416 --> 00:21:33,752 April 13, point two. 435 00:21:34,169 --> 00:21:36,505 We have failed to uphold Brannigan's Law. 436 00:21:36,630 --> 00:21:39,633 However, I did make it with a hot alien babe. 437 00:21:39,716 --> 00:21:43,262 And in the end, is that not what man has dreamt of 438 00:21:43,345 --> 00:21:45,681 since first he looked up at the stars? 439 00:21:46,890 --> 00:21:48,642 Kif, I'm asking you a question.